The Wayans Bros. (1995–1999): Season 1, Episode 11 - It's Shawn! It's Marlon! It's Superboys! - full transcript
Yo, Marlon, did you eat all the cereal?
Hey, what's up, kid?
I poured you a bowl, too.
Here's your spoon.
All right, more for me.
All right, cut and print. Beautiful, guys.
Dynamite. That--
Hey, Shawn, Marlon, hurry up. I'm hungry.
Hang on, Pops.
I'm so hungry, Sally Struthers gave me $1.
All right, hang on a second.
Our door's been sticking for a month now.
Come on, now.
My stomach is talking to me.
-What's it saying?
-"Let's eat."”
-Right. On three, push.
-Okay.
One, two, three.
Hi, Pops.
Hey, Pop, where you get that outfit?
You look like a ghetto fisherman.
-What's up, Huggy Bear?
-How you doing?
-Oh, food.
-Yeah.
-Where's Ma?
-Your mom ain't going to make it, son.
Seems like her boyfriend, Mr. Lou Rawls, having another telethon...
and she's going to sit right next to the TV
until he reaches his goal.
What's he saving this time?
How do I know? Probably his career.
Don't worry about that.
Just bring me that broiled catfish.
I got the hot sauce.
And get me a tall, tall glass of Kool-Aid.
I'm sorry, Pop, but our oven's on the blink.
It's gonna be a couple more hours, or two.
What kind of madness is this?
The door's sticking,
the oven is on the blink.
Have the landlord fix these things.
We tried to call him, Pops,
but he don't call us back.'
What? Your mama and I
had the same problem...
back when we were renting.
You and Mom used to live here?
Don't mind him, Pop.
He been drying his hair
in the microwave again.
What I'm trying to say...
is your mother and I
organized a tenants' meeting...
and we demanded
that the landlord fix everything.
A tenants' meeting?
-That might work.
-'Course it's gonna work.
You gotta demand things in life
if you want anything.
And I demand you go get me my dinner!
I'm telling you, it ain't ready yet.
I don't care.
Just bring me the food. I'm hungry.
Oh, boy.
Just get that good old succulent fish.
-Here you go, but it ain't ready yet.
-It's about time.
I didn't know y'all boys liked sushi.
Come on, Mr. Fish,
I'm gonna eat you tonight. I'm hungry.
All right, Mr. Fish.
Why'd you buy all this food?
I told you, I'm trying to save money.
Calm down, cheapskate. Check it out.
I got all this here at the 29-cent store.
Looks like Coca-Cola...
but it's really Broca-Cola.
-Good move, slick.
-Thank you.
I need that extra money, man.
Lisa found out
there's no such thing as McLobster.
What?
Hey, Mother Evans.
Are you holding up well? How you doing?
You didn't have to get here so soon,
you know.
When you have 90-year-old legs...
you never know how long
a flight of stairs will take.
Of course, you go faster
when you fall and roll.
Are you okay?
Yeah, but I think
that fall knocked my hearing aid...
out of place.
-Are you sure?
-Tuesday.
I got it.
Hey, what's up, Mother Evans?
What up, homey?
What's up, White Mike?
Yo, Marlon, man,
thanks for inviting me to your party.
Yo, Shawn, Mother Evans, what's up!
I see it really ain't jumping off in here yet.
Ain't no party like an East Coast party!
Ain't no jam like an old school jam!
Say jam!
Mother Evans, get up. Come on.
Ain't no party like a home--
Hey, relax. Chill.
This is not a party. It's a tenants' meeting.
-Word?
-Yeah.
I'm down for whatever, Marlon.
You're not a roughneck.
You're a redneck, okay?
-Go mingle.
-All right, I'm gonna go mingle.
-Like a Pringle!
-Don't get on me, Mike...
'cause I'll kick you like a jingle.
Does that boy know he ain't black?
Worse than that, he thinks he's Muslim.
I got it.
How you doing?
Hi. My name's Charlene.
I live right down the hall.
Hi, I'm Marlon.
You've probably noticed me.
I stalk you.
No. You know,
I've lived here for six months.
I don't think I've noticed you at all.
I think everybody's here
who said they'd show up.
Hello, neighbors.
I'm Chuck, and this is my pretty wife, Tina.
Pleased to meet you.
Hello, Chuck and Tina. How are you?
Welcome to our neighborhood.
I'm Shawn. You guys have the right place?
Yes. We just moved in three days ago.
We used to live in a gated community
on Long Island...
with a lot of snobby people
and not a lot of... African-Americans.
Say what?
-Shut your mouth!
-That's right.
That's why we moved here.
We heard this neighborhood
was going through gentrification.
Gentrification?
Dude, this is Harlem.
We know. The prices are so low.
They're practically giving it all away.
Hello, Mother Evans.
Okay, now, everybody knows
why we called this meeting here today.
We all have repairs
that the landlord has refused to fix.
What I think we need to do
is everybody should get a list...
and write down what doesn't work
inside of our apartment.
For example, my oven doesn't work.
Anybody else?
Yeah. My oven doesn't work either.
Anybody else?
Mother Evans,
what doesn't work in your apartment?
What?
What in your apartment isn't working?
My son.
Never mind. We'll come back to you.
Welcome Blacks and Jews?
We'll come back to you. Never mind.
Yo, man, when I turn on my sunlamp,
my boom box goes out.
What up with that?
The light in my closet's been out
for over a month.
What?
No!
Damn it, this is an outrage.
This is outright...
dastardly, preposturepedic!
Yes, it is, and that landlord has ignored us
for the very last time.
-'Cause I have a dream.
-Yeah!
That's right. I have a dream...
that one day I will live in a building
where the doors will open...
the water will flow,
and the light will shine.
-Yeah!
-Amen, brother.
-I said, I have a dream...
-Yes!
...that I will march down
to that landlord's fancy penthouse...
and demand that he hear our grievances.
Right on, brother!
-I said, I have a dream...
-Yes!
...that all the little black boys
and white girls...
-will be able to have heat at last.
-Amen!
Thank God almighty,
we'll have heat at last!
-Are you guys with me?
-Yeah!
Come on, let's go!
We'll let you guys know
how things turn out, okay?
Marlon, bring your ass!
Man, this is one classy and exclusive joint.
I ain't seen a deluxe apartment
like this since The Jeffersons.
Is that real gold?
It's the knocker.
Get out of here!
Damn Jehovah Witnesses.
Or I'll beat you to death
with The Watchtower.
No, we're not Jehovah Witnesses.
We're Shawn and Marlon Williams
from your building on 126th Street.
What? I thought
that arson investigation was closed.
No. 126th Street. Sorry about that.
You the sons of that woman
that froze to death?
No. We're tenants from that building
on 126th Street...
and we have a list of complaints.
Why didn't you say so? Hurry up, will you? I'm busy with the maid.
Now, here's our list,
and we demand that you fix things.
Look, I got a little problem, okay?
I ain't got no super for your building.
I had to get rid of the last guy.
He got hit with a sexual harassment suit.
You know how it is.
You're fixing a bathtub,
there's a woman in it, things happen!
Happens to me all the time.
Well, why can't you fix things yourself?
I would, but I'm just too damn busy.
Britta, get back on that table.
Go on, baby!
Anyway, I've got this problem. No super.
And no matter how hard I try,
I just can't seem to find anybody...
that wants to make some easy money
in his spare time.
Hey, I like easy money in my spare time.
You? I don't know.
Me and my brother could do it together.
-No, you and your brother can't.
-Why not?
We know nothing
about being superintendents.
Okay, forget about it.
If you don't want to make $200 a week
for fixing an occasional light bulb...
-forget it.
-Wait. $200?
You wait right there. Come here.
Shawn, listen, this is easy money.
Think about it.
The next time you want
to take Lisa out to dinner...
you could buy her a burger with cheese...
and a large fry.
I mean, I could use the money.
Just once, I'd like to take Lisa
for a ride around Central Park...
without the garbage man yelling,
"Get off the back of my truck!"
See what I mean?
Come on, you want the job or not?
Mr. Stone, we'll take it, brother.
All right, it's a deal.
You are now the building supers.
Here's an advance on your salary.
Now get out of here.
Hey, Britta, watch out!
That chandelier can't support you.
I sure hope
we know what we're doing, man.
Don't worry. I know what I'm doing.
Don't look in people's houses like that.
That's invasion of privacy.
Go on, go press for the elevator.
Hey, kid, screw in that light bulb?
Yup. I didn't even have to read the manual.
Did you fix that leak in the basement?
Yeah, I patched it up.
It's amazing what a Band-Aid,
some gum, and string can do.
Hey, this is the easiest money ever made.
Yeah, it's like
one of them government jobs.
It has been an easy two weeks.
Know what I'm going to do
with my money?
-What?
-Taking Lisa out to Tavern on the Green.
This time, she gets to eat.
-Get out of town.
-Big spender. I'm living large, baby.
You the man. I got Tammi girl
coming over in a little while.
Check it out. Put out $50 for this.
-Cologne?
-Not just any cologne.
"For the man who rarely scores."
Chello. Who is it?
Marlon, you're much better-looking
in a suit.
No. I'm Shawn. That's Marlon.
What's up, baby girl? Look at you.
Baby hair pumping like usual.
I love that cologne.
Is that El Desperado?
But of course.
No well-dressed superintendent
should ever go without it.
Superintendent? Wow!
Do you get to wear a cape?
Suddenly, I feel very gifted.
Chello! Williams residence.
Hey, what's up, Chuck?
Oh, man, broken garbage disposal?
All right, I'll be down to fix it in a minute. All right, peace.
-If Lisa calls, tell her I'm running late.
-Bye-bye.
All alone at last.
How can you be alone if I'm here?
Exactly.
What up, G, my man?
My bad.
I didn't know you had a honey
all up in here.
-White Mike, what do you want?
-Check it, G.
The power keeps going out
in my apartment...
and me and my brother Pookie
can't work on our demo tape.
No, not Pookie. Please, not Pookie.
Go Pookie!
Stop! Hammer time.
White boy can dance.
We're gonna come back later, man.
I didn't know you were knocking boots--
-I'm about to knock you with my boot.
-All right.
I'm an Audi 5000 with a sunroof, G.
Word to your mother.
I think I'm gonna have a word
with your mother.
Hey, White Mike, gimme five.
On the black hand side.
I hope those light-skinned brothers
are the last of our interruptions.
They will be, I promise, okay?
Man, look at me.
I didn't know
garbage disposals had a reverse.
I look like Barry White's dinner napkin.
And you promised no more interruptions.
I'm leaving.
Wait, no. Tammi, don't leave.
I'll wear my cape.
Tammi, don't leave!
Oh, damn.
Why is she standing
over by the garbage chute?
She thinks it's the elevator.
And I thought you were stupid.
Damn, man!
Marlon, I need you. Come quick.
All you had to do was ask.
It's Mother Evans!
She says it's a life-or-death emergency.
Hurry up! Come on!
We got a situation.
Hurry up, damn it. I'm missing Matlock.
This is your life-and-death emergency?
That Andy Griffith is one sexy white boy.
Mother Evans, this is not an emergency.
Don't you use that tone with me,
you little pissant.
Now, you fix that TV...
or I'll kick you in the head
with my orthopedic shoes.
Man, what's with her?
If you ain't knocked boots in 40 years,
you'd be a little cranky, too.
All right, let's take a look at this,
right here.
Oh, Marlon, be careful.
I don't know
the meaning of the word "careful.”
And that's why
I'm going to be the one doing it.
Do you know the meaning of the word
"electrocution,” perhaps?
I do now.
I smell bacon.
Do you guys think the problem could be
this loose antenna wiring?
-Oh, yeah, we knew that.
-We were just checking....
-We're gonna work it out.
-We'll fix it.
So, thanks for the info.
All right, let's get out of here.
All right, you handle things up on the roof.
I'm gonna take care of business right here.
No, you're not. You're coming with me. Besides, you're not gonna score anyway.
I wouldn't be too sure about that.
Let's go. Go! Go!
Those boys are really sweet.
But as supers...
they really suck.
Well, there goes my date with Lisa.
Easy money.
Yeah, right. This is too much damn work.
I should've known we wouldn't get
something for nothing.
That landlord played us.
Yeah. Now my rep is scarred.
What rep? People expect you to fail.
Oh, yeah!
Oh, man! Charlene was right.
Mother Evans' wire isn't connected
to her antenna.
-Come here, this is what we gotta do.
-What's up?
One of us brave young brothers
has to climb up on the ledge...
and tiptoe up,
hooking this wire up to the antenna...
without falling five stories
down to his death.
When you're done with that,
I'll be right over here.
Wait a minute. How come I gotta do it?
All right, we'll flip a coin.
Heads I win, tails you lose.
Oh, no, no flipping coins.
I don't like that game.
I always lose.
-I get to pick this time.
-Fine.
I'm thinking of a number
from one to a million.
Six.
Damn! You cheated.
How am I gonna cheat?
I don't know. You got ESPN or something.
What do I look like, Spider-Man?
-Mr. Stone.
-You idiot, what are you doing up here?
The water department just hauled me
out of bed. The basement is flooded.
What moron tried to fix the water main
with Band-Aids, gum and string?
Help me, please!
Don't you call me no idiot.
You're the idiot. You hired us.
Do you know what you've done?
With the water damage,
I'll never be able to burn this building.
The reason why we're in this mess
is because you refused to fix the building.
No, the reason why we're in this mess
is because my wife took half.
Half of what?
Half your money or half your hair?
Look, Mr. Stone, I gave you
every opportunity to fix this building...
but you kept conning me out of it.
-Not now.
-But, Shawn--
I'm talking right now.
Mr. Stone,
either you fix this building, or else.
Or else what?
I'm gonna pick your puny behind up
and toss you off the building.
Then you're gonna be moving on down.
Well, in that case, you're fired.
And that goes for you
and your nitwit brother.
Brother? Marlon!
Help!
-Please.
-Marlon.
What are you doing down there, man?
Give me your hand.
On three, I'm gonna pull. One, two, three.
Help! Please.
You want to be super?
Thank God those winos broke our fall.
We could've really got hurt.
Yeah, man.
You notice none of them even woke up?
Yeah, but that extra change
came in handy.
I give you sound advice
about renters' rights, and you screw up.
Do you know
why that man gave you two that job?
-Affirmative action?
-No.
'Cause he was trying to take
the easy way out, just like we did.
-Good, Marlon.
-Thank you, Papa.
I'm glad you learned your lesson.
If I had taken the easy way out, I would
still be a male stripper in Singapore.
It's just a good thing
we're out of this mess.
What's so good about it?
You still don't have a building super.
Yes, we do.
I thought White Mike turned the job down.
He did.
Well, who took the job?
I hate my life.
I should go back
to the dry-cleaning business.
Amen!
He took the job?
Look up, Marlon. Say, "Cheese.”
Hey, what's up, kid?
I poured you a bowl, too.
Here's your spoon.
All right, more for me.
All right, cut and print. Beautiful, guys.
Dynamite. That--
Hey, Shawn, Marlon, hurry up. I'm hungry.
Hang on, Pops.
I'm so hungry, Sally Struthers gave me $1.
All right, hang on a second.
Our door's been sticking for a month now.
Come on, now.
My stomach is talking to me.
-What's it saying?
-"Let's eat."”
-Right. On three, push.
-Okay.
One, two, three.
Hi, Pops.
Hey, Pop, where you get that outfit?
You look like a ghetto fisherman.
-What's up, Huggy Bear?
-How you doing?
-Oh, food.
-Yeah.
-Where's Ma?
-Your mom ain't going to make it, son.
Seems like her boyfriend, Mr. Lou Rawls, having another telethon...
and she's going to sit right next to the TV
until he reaches his goal.
What's he saving this time?
How do I know? Probably his career.
Don't worry about that.
Just bring me that broiled catfish.
I got the hot sauce.
And get me a tall, tall glass of Kool-Aid.
I'm sorry, Pop, but our oven's on the blink.
It's gonna be a couple more hours, or two.
What kind of madness is this?
The door's sticking,
the oven is on the blink.
Have the landlord fix these things.
We tried to call him, Pops,
but he don't call us back.'
What? Your mama and I
had the same problem...
back when we were renting.
You and Mom used to live here?
Don't mind him, Pop.
He been drying his hair
in the microwave again.
What I'm trying to say...
is your mother and I
organized a tenants' meeting...
and we demanded
that the landlord fix everything.
A tenants' meeting?
-That might work.
-'Course it's gonna work.
You gotta demand things in life
if you want anything.
And I demand you go get me my dinner!
I'm telling you, it ain't ready yet.
I don't care.
Just bring me the food. I'm hungry.
Oh, boy.
Just get that good old succulent fish.
-Here you go, but it ain't ready yet.
-It's about time.
I didn't know y'all boys liked sushi.
Come on, Mr. Fish,
I'm gonna eat you tonight. I'm hungry.
All right, Mr. Fish.
Why'd you buy all this food?
I told you, I'm trying to save money.
Calm down, cheapskate. Check it out.
I got all this here at the 29-cent store.
Looks like Coca-Cola...
but it's really Broca-Cola.
-Good move, slick.
-Thank you.
I need that extra money, man.
Lisa found out
there's no such thing as McLobster.
What?
Hey, Mother Evans.
Are you holding up well? How you doing?
You didn't have to get here so soon,
you know.
When you have 90-year-old legs...
you never know how long
a flight of stairs will take.
Of course, you go faster
when you fall and roll.
Are you okay?
Yeah, but I think
that fall knocked my hearing aid...
out of place.
-Are you sure?
-Tuesday.
I got it.
Hey, what's up, Mother Evans?
What up, homey?
What's up, White Mike?
Yo, Marlon, man,
thanks for inviting me to your party.
Yo, Shawn, Mother Evans, what's up!
I see it really ain't jumping off in here yet.
Ain't no party like an East Coast party!
Ain't no jam like an old school jam!
Say jam!
Mother Evans, get up. Come on.
Ain't no party like a home--
Hey, relax. Chill.
This is not a party. It's a tenants' meeting.
-Word?
-Yeah.
I'm down for whatever, Marlon.
You're not a roughneck.
You're a redneck, okay?
-Go mingle.
-All right, I'm gonna go mingle.
-Like a Pringle!
-Don't get on me, Mike...
'cause I'll kick you like a jingle.
Does that boy know he ain't black?
Worse than that, he thinks he's Muslim.
I got it.
How you doing?
Hi. My name's Charlene.
I live right down the hall.
Hi, I'm Marlon.
You've probably noticed me.
I stalk you.
No. You know,
I've lived here for six months.
I don't think I've noticed you at all.
I think everybody's here
who said they'd show up.
Hello, neighbors.
I'm Chuck, and this is my pretty wife, Tina.
Pleased to meet you.
Hello, Chuck and Tina. How are you?
Welcome to our neighborhood.
I'm Shawn. You guys have the right place?
Yes. We just moved in three days ago.
We used to live in a gated community
on Long Island...
with a lot of snobby people
and not a lot of... African-Americans.
Say what?
-Shut your mouth!
-That's right.
That's why we moved here.
We heard this neighborhood
was going through gentrification.
Gentrification?
Dude, this is Harlem.
We know. The prices are so low.
They're practically giving it all away.
Hello, Mother Evans.
Okay, now, everybody knows
why we called this meeting here today.
We all have repairs
that the landlord has refused to fix.
What I think we need to do
is everybody should get a list...
and write down what doesn't work
inside of our apartment.
For example, my oven doesn't work.
Anybody else?
Yeah. My oven doesn't work either.
Anybody else?
Mother Evans,
what doesn't work in your apartment?
What?
What in your apartment isn't working?
My son.
Never mind. We'll come back to you.
Welcome Blacks and Jews?
We'll come back to you. Never mind.
Yo, man, when I turn on my sunlamp,
my boom box goes out.
What up with that?
The light in my closet's been out
for over a month.
What?
No!
Damn it, this is an outrage.
This is outright...
dastardly, preposturepedic!
Yes, it is, and that landlord has ignored us
for the very last time.
-'Cause I have a dream.
-Yeah!
That's right. I have a dream...
that one day I will live in a building
where the doors will open...
the water will flow,
and the light will shine.
-Yeah!
-Amen, brother.
-I said, I have a dream...
-Yes!
...that I will march down
to that landlord's fancy penthouse...
and demand that he hear our grievances.
Right on, brother!
-I said, I have a dream...
-Yes!
...that all the little black boys
and white girls...
-will be able to have heat at last.
-Amen!
Thank God almighty,
we'll have heat at last!
-Are you guys with me?
-Yeah!
Come on, let's go!
We'll let you guys know
how things turn out, okay?
Marlon, bring your ass!
Man, this is one classy and exclusive joint.
I ain't seen a deluxe apartment
like this since The Jeffersons.
Is that real gold?
It's the knocker.
Get out of here!
Damn Jehovah Witnesses.
Or I'll beat you to death
with The Watchtower.
No, we're not Jehovah Witnesses.
We're Shawn and Marlon Williams
from your building on 126th Street.
What? I thought
that arson investigation was closed.
No. 126th Street. Sorry about that.
You the sons of that woman
that froze to death?
No. We're tenants from that building
on 126th Street...
and we have a list of complaints.
Why didn't you say so? Hurry up, will you? I'm busy with the maid.
Now, here's our list,
and we demand that you fix things.
Look, I got a little problem, okay?
I ain't got no super for your building.
I had to get rid of the last guy.
He got hit with a sexual harassment suit.
You know how it is.
You're fixing a bathtub,
there's a woman in it, things happen!
Happens to me all the time.
Well, why can't you fix things yourself?
I would, but I'm just too damn busy.
Britta, get back on that table.
Go on, baby!
Anyway, I've got this problem. No super.
And no matter how hard I try,
I just can't seem to find anybody...
that wants to make some easy money
in his spare time.
Hey, I like easy money in my spare time.
You? I don't know.
Me and my brother could do it together.
-No, you and your brother can't.
-Why not?
We know nothing
about being superintendents.
Okay, forget about it.
If you don't want to make $200 a week
for fixing an occasional light bulb...
-forget it.
-Wait. $200?
You wait right there. Come here.
Shawn, listen, this is easy money.
Think about it.
The next time you want
to take Lisa out to dinner...
you could buy her a burger with cheese...
and a large fry.
I mean, I could use the money.
Just once, I'd like to take Lisa
for a ride around Central Park...
without the garbage man yelling,
"Get off the back of my truck!"
See what I mean?
Come on, you want the job or not?
Mr. Stone, we'll take it, brother.
All right, it's a deal.
You are now the building supers.
Here's an advance on your salary.
Now get out of here.
Hey, Britta, watch out!
That chandelier can't support you.
I sure hope
we know what we're doing, man.
Don't worry. I know what I'm doing.
Don't look in people's houses like that.
That's invasion of privacy.
Go on, go press for the elevator.
Hey, kid, screw in that light bulb?
Yup. I didn't even have to read the manual.
Did you fix that leak in the basement?
Yeah, I patched it up.
It's amazing what a Band-Aid,
some gum, and string can do.
Hey, this is the easiest money ever made.
Yeah, it's like
one of them government jobs.
It has been an easy two weeks.
Know what I'm going to do
with my money?
-What?
-Taking Lisa out to Tavern on the Green.
This time, she gets to eat.
-Get out of town.
-Big spender. I'm living large, baby.
You the man. I got Tammi girl
coming over in a little while.
Check it out. Put out $50 for this.
-Cologne?
-Not just any cologne.
"For the man who rarely scores."
Chello. Who is it?
Marlon, you're much better-looking
in a suit.
No. I'm Shawn. That's Marlon.
What's up, baby girl? Look at you.
Baby hair pumping like usual.
I love that cologne.
Is that El Desperado?
But of course.
No well-dressed superintendent
should ever go without it.
Superintendent? Wow!
Do you get to wear a cape?
Suddenly, I feel very gifted.
Chello! Williams residence.
Hey, what's up, Chuck?
Oh, man, broken garbage disposal?
All right, I'll be down to fix it in a minute. All right, peace.
-If Lisa calls, tell her I'm running late.
-Bye-bye.
All alone at last.
How can you be alone if I'm here?
Exactly.
What up, G, my man?
My bad.
I didn't know you had a honey
all up in here.
-White Mike, what do you want?
-Check it, G.
The power keeps going out
in my apartment...
and me and my brother Pookie
can't work on our demo tape.
No, not Pookie. Please, not Pookie.
Go Pookie!
Stop! Hammer time.
White boy can dance.
We're gonna come back later, man.
I didn't know you were knocking boots--
-I'm about to knock you with my boot.
-All right.
I'm an Audi 5000 with a sunroof, G.
Word to your mother.
I think I'm gonna have a word
with your mother.
Hey, White Mike, gimme five.
On the black hand side.
I hope those light-skinned brothers
are the last of our interruptions.
They will be, I promise, okay?
Man, look at me.
I didn't know
garbage disposals had a reverse.
I look like Barry White's dinner napkin.
And you promised no more interruptions.
I'm leaving.
Wait, no. Tammi, don't leave.
I'll wear my cape.
Tammi, don't leave!
Oh, damn.
Why is she standing
over by the garbage chute?
She thinks it's the elevator.
And I thought you were stupid.
Damn, man!
Marlon, I need you. Come quick.
All you had to do was ask.
It's Mother Evans!
She says it's a life-or-death emergency.
Hurry up! Come on!
We got a situation.
Hurry up, damn it. I'm missing Matlock.
This is your life-and-death emergency?
That Andy Griffith is one sexy white boy.
Mother Evans, this is not an emergency.
Don't you use that tone with me,
you little pissant.
Now, you fix that TV...
or I'll kick you in the head
with my orthopedic shoes.
Man, what's with her?
If you ain't knocked boots in 40 years,
you'd be a little cranky, too.
All right, let's take a look at this,
right here.
Oh, Marlon, be careful.
I don't know
the meaning of the word "careful.”
And that's why
I'm going to be the one doing it.
Do you know the meaning of the word
"electrocution,” perhaps?
I do now.
I smell bacon.
Do you guys think the problem could be
this loose antenna wiring?
-Oh, yeah, we knew that.
-We were just checking....
-We're gonna work it out.
-We'll fix it.
So, thanks for the info.
All right, let's get out of here.
All right, you handle things up on the roof.
I'm gonna take care of business right here.
No, you're not. You're coming with me. Besides, you're not gonna score anyway.
I wouldn't be too sure about that.
Let's go. Go! Go!
Those boys are really sweet.
But as supers...
they really suck.
Well, there goes my date with Lisa.
Easy money.
Yeah, right. This is too much damn work.
I should've known we wouldn't get
something for nothing.
That landlord played us.
Yeah. Now my rep is scarred.
What rep? People expect you to fail.
Oh, yeah!
Oh, man! Charlene was right.
Mother Evans' wire isn't connected
to her antenna.
-Come here, this is what we gotta do.
-What's up?
One of us brave young brothers
has to climb up on the ledge...
and tiptoe up,
hooking this wire up to the antenna...
without falling five stories
down to his death.
When you're done with that,
I'll be right over here.
Wait a minute. How come I gotta do it?
All right, we'll flip a coin.
Heads I win, tails you lose.
Oh, no, no flipping coins.
I don't like that game.
I always lose.
-I get to pick this time.
-Fine.
I'm thinking of a number
from one to a million.
Six.
Damn! You cheated.
How am I gonna cheat?
I don't know. You got ESPN or something.
What do I look like, Spider-Man?
-Mr. Stone.
-You idiot, what are you doing up here?
The water department just hauled me
out of bed. The basement is flooded.
What moron tried to fix the water main
with Band-Aids, gum and string?
Help me, please!
Don't you call me no idiot.
You're the idiot. You hired us.
Do you know what you've done?
With the water damage,
I'll never be able to burn this building.
The reason why we're in this mess
is because you refused to fix the building.
No, the reason why we're in this mess
is because my wife took half.
Half of what?
Half your money or half your hair?
Look, Mr. Stone, I gave you
every opportunity to fix this building...
but you kept conning me out of it.
-Not now.
-But, Shawn--
I'm talking right now.
Mr. Stone,
either you fix this building, or else.
Or else what?
I'm gonna pick your puny behind up
and toss you off the building.
Then you're gonna be moving on down.
Well, in that case, you're fired.
And that goes for you
and your nitwit brother.
Brother? Marlon!
Help!
-Please.
-Marlon.
What are you doing down there, man?
Give me your hand.
On three, I'm gonna pull. One, two, three.
Help! Please.
You want to be super?
Thank God those winos broke our fall.
We could've really got hurt.
Yeah, man.
You notice none of them even woke up?
Yeah, but that extra change
came in handy.
I give you sound advice
about renters' rights, and you screw up.
Do you know
why that man gave you two that job?
-Affirmative action?
-No.
'Cause he was trying to take
the easy way out, just like we did.
-Good, Marlon.
-Thank you, Papa.
I'm glad you learned your lesson.
If I had taken the easy way out, I would
still be a male stripper in Singapore.
It's just a good thing
we're out of this mess.
What's so good about it?
You still don't have a building super.
Yes, we do.
I thought White Mike turned the job down.
He did.
Well, who took the job?
I hate my life.
I should go back
to the dry-cleaning business.
Amen!
He took the job?
Look up, Marlon. Say, "Cheese.”