The Vampire Diaries (2009–2017): Season 7, Episode 8 - Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me, Kill Me - full transcript

It's Nora and Mary Louise's anniversary and Julian has big plans for the night, however, Lily and her sons have even bigger plans for Julian.

Previously
‭on "The Vampire Diaries"...

Alaric's babies are
the future of the coven.

They would have protected them
in any way they could.

They're inside of you.

- Then why are you here, Lorenzo?
- I'm here because of you.

- Who's Julian?
- He was the love of my life.

Your grandchild was
murdered by Julian.

We bound
Julian's life to mine.

We're linked.
If he dies, so do I.

Our mother faked
her death,

left her sons behind,
started a new family,



and went out of her way
to forget us forever!

As far as I'm concerned,
she deserves what she gets.

Did you know
Valerie was once

pregnant with Stefan's child?

Valerie? No.

I love you, darling.

I will never hurt you.

You were right
about Julian,

but I am not going
to let him hurt us anymore.

I have a plan, and this time,
we won't get caught.

Where am I?

That's right, Dallas.

The home of big hair
and horrible presidents.

And the trap
you just walked into.



Unfortunately, you're not
the fly I was hoping to catch.

Oh, so, the mystery guest
makes an appearance.

Why don't you do me a favor?

Come a little closer
so I can sort of see you.

Mom?

It's been a long time.

What's the plan?

Julian needs
to die today.

Everything has
to appear to be normal.

Julian's not an idiot.

If he finds out that Lily
turned on him, we're all dead.

So you embed her
with a psychopath.

Sounds logical.

Hey, don't look
at me; I voted to drive

a stake through her heart
and get rid of this

Julian mama drama
once and for all.

But, hey, complicated plan "A"
sounds like a happy compromise.

It's not complicated.

We get Julian's blood,
and then, Nora,

Beau, or Mary Louise use it

to unlink him from Lily,
and we kill the bastard.

Uh, you glossed over
the important bit.

Do you really think
that Beau, Mary Louise,

and Nora are going to help?

That's it.

Nora is off pancake duty.

Me? Ha ha! You're the one who
wanted the chocolate chips to melt.

Melt, not burn the house
down and kill us all...

Mmm. Nobody's
killing anybody before we eat.

I'm not wasting any
of this food.

- Ha ha ha!
- Oh!

Darling.
We woke you.

Aren't we having fun?

Julian treats
Lily's heretics

like they're his own
royal children.

And they worship him right back.
They'll never turn on him.

The old stake through
the heart's lookin'

like a pretty good
alternative right now.

Just sayin'.

Well, I guess the only way
we're gonna be able

to pull this off

is to deploy the nuclear option.

Which is?

Me.

I know how to win them
over to our side.

Uh, great, yeah.
Last I checked,

she was the black sheep
of the family.

What are you gonna tell them
to make them feel otherwise?

The truth.

This looks like quite the feast.
What's the occasion?

Don't tell me you forgot.

Forgot what?

It's our anniversary.

Mary Lou and I have been
together for 133 years.

Of course
she remembered.

In fact,

it was Lily's idea
to host your party tonight.

Really?

Lily Salvatore throws a party?

Let me guess, we'll get drunk
on tea and do needlepoint.

Oh, yes, nothing says

"I've loved you
for over a century"

like falling asleep by 9:15.

Girls,
girls, girls, girls,

you're underestimating us.

I think they're in for
a wonderful surprise,

don't you, my love?

Yes.

Yes, quite the surprise.

"Dear Elena, I'm pregnant."

"Ridiculously long story short,

"they're Ric and Jo's
twin babies,

"magically transported
into my readily available womb

"by the Gemini coven.

"I guess I thought writing
to you might help me figure out

"how I'm supposed to feel
about the whole thing

"because on one hand, I know
how much this means to Alaric,

"and on the other,

I have no idea
what it means for me."

Hey.

Breaking news.

Remember all those people
Julian was stockpiling?

They disappeared this morning.

That's weird.
Where did they go?

That's what I'm working on.

You want to cut class
today and help me

get to the bottom of it?

Actually, I can't.

I'm...

Turns out Valerie was right.

Wait.
You're really pregnant?

Yup. Heh heh!

- How'd Stefan take it?
- Oh, you know,

totally supportive and

just wanted to make sure
that I was ok.

At least, that's how I'm hoping
it goes when I tell him today.

What are you
doing here, Lorenzo?

Oh, looking for
the self-help section.

Seems I've developed,
um, feelings

for someone with terrible taste,

and yet... I can't seem
to shake her.

I need to get something

for Nora and Mary Lou's
anniversary.

Nora used to read this poem

over and over again when
we were trapped together.

I believe it was called
"The Nymph's Reply to the Shepherd."

Ah.

"But could youth last
and love still breed,

"had joys no date,
nor age no need,

"then these delights
my mind might move

"to live with thee

and be thy love."

I had no idea
you enjoyed poetry.

Well, there's a lot
about me that you

haven't... allowed
yourself to know.

♪ Need some relief ♪

♪ Sick of leaving things... ♪

The poems of sir Walter Raleigh,

a proper Englishman.

Oh, this looks like
a decent edition.

♪ Sick of leaving things
half done... ♪

Do you really think some bauble
will convince the heretics

to side with you over
an evil step-daddy

who spoils them rotten
with ponies and ice cream?

- I don't have a choice.
- Yes, you do.

Run.
Leave town with me.

Let your sons
carry out their plan

while you're off the grid.

♪ I am trying ♪

Oh, Lorenzo...

♪ The best that I... ♪

I can't run from this.

This is my doing.

You're not safe.

♪ ...trying the best... ♪

Come with me.

♪ I am, I am trying ♪

You know I can't do that.

♪ The best that I can ♪

But if you could...

If I could...

♪ Will you keep moving on
like you do? ♪

♪ Will you keep moving on? ♪

♪ So will you keep
moving on like you ♪

- Good luck, Lily.
- ♪ Do ♪

You'll need it.

♪ Oh, I am ♪

♪ I am trying ♪

♪ The best that I can ♪

I can't see
a bloody thing.

That's the point.

Julian.
Enough games.

As you wish.

♪ Back beat, counting time ♪

♪ Pick it up and tell me if you
really want to dance some more ♪

♪ We're borderline
wasting time ♪

♪ Pick it up and tell me
that you love me... ♪

This is epic.

Who are all these people?

Friends, food,
whatever you want them to be.

They've all been compelled
to see to your every desire.

Heh! But there are so many.

I've been collecting them
for this very occasion.

Are you ill?

Lily would never allow this.

Come on.
It's your anniversary.

Let's have a drink to celebrate.

♪ I understand, understand,
I been feeling it so long ♪

♪ I'm flying when
I'm in your eyes... ♪

What is going on here?

Mmm.

Loosen up, darling.
It's a party.

The rule is we may feed
on trespassers.

One here, maybe another
there, but where did all

all these people come
from, Julian?

They certainly didn't bus
themselves in to be our dinner.

See? I told you
she was incapable of fun.

Come on. Let's go before
she ruins our entire night.

However...

I suppose, since it's
a special occasion,

we can make an exception.

See?
Just like old times.

♪ ...in your arms ♪

♪ I'm burning up, burning up ♪

♪ Feeling like I kid myself,
kid myself again ♪

Damon.

Lily just texted me their location.
Let's do this.

Oh. Hi.

Hi.

I, uh, thought
you were studying.

I was, but I'm here now.
Surprise. Heh!

Ah, Stefan
distraction machine.

Please tell me you're
not coming.

Coming where?

Nora and Mary Louise's
anniversary.

Great.
You're here, too.

That's... perfect.
Um...

Uh, what are... what are
you doing here?

I'm... um...

Spit it out, Blondie.

You know what? Damon
and I will go together.

Stefan can follow behind.

- What? No.
- Yes. Let's go.

Uh... what was that all about?

Heh!

We need to talk.

I know, it's insane.

Magical baby transplants? I...

I didn't believe it,
either, but then I

ate 9 ice cream sundaes
from noon to 3:00,

and none of my clothes fit,
and then there was

that whole part with the doctor
and the ultrasound, so...

Right.

Yeah.

You can say something.

Uh, I don't think
there are any words.

I know.

I know.

- I have to go.
- What?

I mean, obviously we need
to talk about this, um,

but... we have this small window

to get to Julian tonight,
and this is sort of...

Bad... timing?
I mean, trust me, I get it.

No, no, no, it's...

I mean, yes, it... yes,

um, but we will talk
about it when I get back.

Ok.

Promise.

Where are you taking me?

Quiet.
I need your opinion.

Do you think she'll say yes?

She loves you.
She would have said yes

when it would have
gotten her beheaded.

Why am I so nervous?

Probably because the love
of your life is far too vain

to be wearing whatever
that tiny little rock is,

reflecting light in that box.

Lily doesn't allow us to
leave Mystic Falls, so

my options were limited
to coal-miner chic.

A relationship
as beautiful as yours

deserves something
a little better.

This belonged to French royalty.

A, uh, Princess, I think.

She was telling me
as she lost her head.

- Ahem.
- It's perfect.

Oh, the perfect ring for
the perfect couple.

I'm so happy for you both.

[Birds chirping[

this is what I read to everyone
in that horrible prison world.

I thought it'd be
a nice anniversary gift.

It reminds me of everything we've
been through together as a family.

Thank you, Lily.

This is so special.
I love it.

Guess who.

The man I chose
above all others.

I'll leave you two
lovebirds alone.

Dance with me.

I have no idea how to dance
to this kind of music.

No, no, no, fear not.

I bribed the deejay
to play us a slow song.

Do you recognize it?

Should I?

Not the arrangement,
but perhaps the vocals.

I'll never forget that voice.

He used to sing so beautifully.

To think of everything
we've endured as a family...

And now we're together,

at long last.

Like old times.

Well, almost like old times.

You haven't been indulging
in any of the real fun.

No, I'm perfectly content
with blood bags.

No, no, you're afraid.

Afraid of what?

Going all in...

And rejoining
our family completely.

You keep holding on to the hope

that Stefan and Damon
will love you again,

that we'll be one big happy family,
but we can't, hmm?

And that hope is causing
unwanted friction.

Take a look around.

You have all the love
that you need right here.

All you have to do is accept it.

Come back to us, Lily.

Let go and allow yourself
to be the woman

that I fought through hell for.

Looks like someone's having fun.

I had to feed.

I have to convince them
that I'm on their side.

Sounds like something straight
out of rippers anonymous.

Plan's postponed
till further notice.

No, no, no, no, look.

Valerie will get through to them.
The plan must go forward.

I can't spend another minute
with that man.

Fine.

Julian dies tonight,

but it's no skin off my back
if you're still linked

to the guy when I shove
a stake through his heart.

Yes, you made that perfectly clear
when you tried to kill him yesterday.

What do you want
from me, an apology?

Ain't gonna happen. I'm only here
because Stefan's a mommy's boy.

I don't want the silent
treatment for the next century...

I am your mother.

How can you be
so cavalier about my life?

Because you're
already dead to me, Lily.

I was 17.
You went away. I cried.

I grew up. You being here
doesn't change any of that.

If I had to do it all over again,
I'd have left you

in that damn prison world so that I
didn't have to see your face again.

Mare.

This is gorgeous.
Did you do all this?

Mostly.

Julian and Beau helped.

What's that?

A gift for us.

"But could youth last
and love still breed,

have joys no date,
nor age no need"...

Marry me.

133 years is not enough, Nora.

I want eternity.

Yes.

Heh!

Really?

Yes.
Of course, yes.

I'm happy for you two.

What are you doing here,

besides destroying
the greatest moment of my life?

We need to talk

about the worst moment of mine.

Hey! Let her go.

Oh, so, so sorry, officer.

I found this one wandering about

and assumed she was of, uh...
Drinking age.

What the hell is wrong with you?

Well, let's just
say I didn't get the girl.

I don't think the life-saving
business suits you, mate.

Yeah, why don't you tell that to the girl
whose throat you were about to tear out?

Mmm, yeah, well,

I suppose that brings
your tally to a whopping one.

Damon didn't want you,

Lily didn't want you,

and this town never wanted you,

so what are you
still doing here?

I might ask the same
thing about you.

The heretics are
throwing a murder party

in your precious hometown,

and all you can manage to stop

is my buzz!

You're overmatched.

You've brought a knife
to a gunfight,

and it's gonna be
the death of you.

This is so typical.

Nora and I have one night
a year, and Valerie can't

stop herself from trying
to steal the spotlight.

This isn't about me.

It's about our family.

Hold on.
Where's Julian?

We should wait for him.

Julian won't be joining us.

Hell of a party.

Well, your mother would agree.

There's a kindergarten teacher
in the powder room to prove it.

Oh, good old mom.

Bet she made you think
she enjoyed it, too, huh?

His face went cold.

I couldn't fight him off.

I couldn't... I couldn't
stop him.

Julian beat me savagely

and... when it was finally over,

my baby was dead.

Murdering my child
wasn't just some violent whim.

It was a calculated,
manipulative act.

What are you boys doing here?

It's an anniversary party;
Guess we figured we'd

come support the pretty one
and her mean girlfriend.

Hmm?

This doesn't make any sense.

Why would Julian do such a thing?
What did he stand to gain?

Me.

I would have never gone
to Europe with him

had I known about my grandchild.

Grandchild?

Stefan was the baby's father.

I couldn't cope.

I took my own life
and became the first heretic.

And when Julian saw how
powerful I was, he wanted more.

We're his army, we're
not his family.

We always have been.

Lily...
Is that true?

I believe every word
Valerie said.

When she told me what
happened to her, it was

as if all the lights
in the room went on...

And I could finally see
Julian for who he really is.

That's why I'm leaving him.

She can't do it
without your help,

so the question is...
Who do you believe?

Mare.

You heard what she said.
What are you waiting for?

Sorry. It's just
this is a lot to take in.

That's why we stick together.

We're family.

Beau, give me your hand.

What is she doing?

- Bracing herself.
- For what?

Lily, you're bleeding.

It's about
to get a lot worse.

Ugh!

Let's tie him up.

Damon's tying up Julian
right now.

I, uh, got his blood.

Good.

They're waiting for it
in the greenhouse.

Caroline's pregnant.

♪ It makes me wonder why... ♪

Yeah, I didn't really know
what to say, either.

Do I even want to know
how this happened?

Gemini spell.

Twins.

Not mine, obviously.

Wow.

You must be overwhelmed.

♪ I know it's kind of hard... ♪

Well, I didn't exactly, um,

handle things the right way.

Any advice?

♪ And even though
it's raining... ♪

Tell her you love her.

Never forget what
she must be going through.

And then, one day...

Be prepared for her to
sacrifice everything for them.

Not that I'm one to give advice.

I chose Julian over everything.

Yeah, but now he's gonna die,

and you can start
over without him.

It's too late,

and so much has
already been lost.

You haven't lost me.

Really?

Ah...

I guess, uh...

Willingness to forgive
the unforgivable

is in my genetics.

Mm-hmm?

And unfortunately, Damon...

Doesn't feel the same
way about forgiveness.

Look, you were the first
woman to break his heart.

He's put up a wall ever since,

but... you can take it down.

No.

He's gone.

I saw it in his eyes.

He... he wishes me dead.

Do you think that I haven't
seen that look before?

Damon has been
practicing that look on me

for the last 150 years.

Well, then maybe you
could offer your mother

a little advice in return.

How do I get him back?

♪ And then you
don't have to... ♪

Time.

♪ Oh ♪

And my mind is boggled

by this blind devotion
you have for Lily,

when the woman mused up an idea

to keep you away from
your soulmate for what,

60 years, 70 years?

Stop talking.

And yet here you are,

essentially risking
your life to be here

with me in order
to keep her alive.

Don't listen to him.
He knows he's dead either way.

But if he can provoke you
to kill him now,

then you spend eternity as the boy
who killed his own mother.

Mmm, aren't you a clever girl?

It's a shame.

I suppose your little one would
have had the same smarts...

Rot in hell, Julian.

What is this?

Apparently whoever wins
at Foosball gets to kill me.

It's pinball, and I have
the high score.

Did you break that link yet?

How do I know

that you were pregnant
with Stefan's child?

Are you testing me?

Do you really believe
that I would make that up?

You lied to Lily about
your affair with Stefan,

just like you lied to us
about killing Oscar,

so why should I believe
that you're telling the truth now?

All right, Nancy Grace, enough.

Let the adults handle this.

- Ow!
- What are you doing?

And that, Mary Louise,

is why you've always
been my favorite.

Well, you're either really drunk

or calling to tell me
that you found a new girlfriend.

None of the above,

although a drink does sound
really good right about now.

Yeah, tell me about it.

♪ Every game you play... ♪

Listen, I'm really sorry
about earlier.

I didn't know
what to say, and

I didn't want to say
the wrong thing, so I just...

Bailed.

Well, I guess there's
no right thing to say

when you find out
your girlfriend is

magically pregnant with
another man's babies.

Look, I know that this is
happening to both of us.

And you stood by me through...

Everything I went
through with my mom,

so I totally get it if you
want to run for the hills.

I'm not going anywhere

because I love you.

I guess there is a right
thing to say after all.

Listen, no matter how...

Weird this all gets...
I'm here for you.

We're gonna get
through this together.

Are you sure?
'Cause it could get really weird.

I'm positive.

Ok.

I love you, too.

♪ ...you ♪

Mare.

Hey. Where are you going?
We still need to unlink Lily.

- I have to get out of here.
- Mare, stop.

You've been crying.

What happened?

Oh, my God.

Things have grown
out of hand, Lily.

Enough is enough.

What are you doing?
Let them go.

I can't

'cause if I do,

this bloody cycle will continue.

And I love you...
And the family that we

have built together...
Far too much for that to happen.

So...

One lives, one dies.

You have to choose which.

I will do no such thing.

Oh, but you will.

You have spent far too
long trying to have it all.

The lies, the...
The violence,

all because you
wanted the impossible.

Well, the truth is,

you're either a Salvatore

or you're one of us,

but you cannot be both.

Now choose.

Choose.

How could you
do that to Lily?

How could Valerie have done
what she has to us?

She hasn't been truthful
about anything, Nora.

Her relationship
with Stefan? Lies.

Killing Oscar?
More lies.

This is different.

Of course you would think that.

He took her child from her,

and you would side with him?

And you would side with a girl
who murdered her own brother?

No. What are you doing?

This doesn't represent
our love, it represents

Julian's ability
to manipulate us.

I don't want it.

- Nora, please...
- I don't want any of it.

Nora. Nora!

This isn't you.

This is not the man
that I fell in love with.

You used to be kind,

gentle, funny.

No, no, you... you're
still in shock

from the hell that you've
been trapped in for so long.

Hell didn't
turn him evil, Lily.

He was born this way.

Ok, this vervain
stings like a bitch,

and your family drama makes
the prospect of hell look

like Disneyland.

So, please,

one swift stab straight
through the heart.

Let's get this over with.

You chose your heretics
over Stefan and me

every chance you had.
Why stop now?

Lily, please.

You are such a strong girl.

I am so sorry
I didn't see it sooner.

My son...

Please forgive me.

Kill me!

Come on.
Do it, Lily.

You're wrong
about so many things.

I never had the courage
to tell you before...

But I do now.

You... are wrong, Julian.

I can choose them both.

No! Lily!

Lily.

Lily.

My sweet, foolish girl.

I've already unlinked us.

- No.
- Lily!

Save your strength.
You're full of vervain.

You couldn't break out
of here on your best day.

- What the hell did you do?
- I took your advice.

You see, you're right.

I can't protect
Mystic Falls on my own,

so I made some friends
who could help.

Who are these friends?

Sorry, I can't tell you.

See, they'd like
to introduce themselves.

I guess I was wrong.

Someone wanted you after all.

Aah!

The splinters must be inside your
heart. I can't... I can't get them out.

Nora...
It's all right.

What do I do?

Tell me what to do!

You say good-bye.

We wouldn't be a family
without you, Lily.

I love you.

I am so sorry this happened.

Good-bye.

♪ I'm not alone ♪

♪ They're in the walls ♪

♪ When I can't sleep ♪

♪ Getting closer ♪

♪ Light is gone ♪

♪ Bulb is broke ♪

♪ In my books ♪

♪ In my clothes ♪

♪ Comin' home ♪

I guess...

Only one of us

gets the luxury of time.

♪ leaves have changed ♪

♪ Getting closer... ♪

Promise me you'll use yours

to the fullest.

♪ A light in hand ♪

♪ Scattered mind ♪

♪ To cut myself away ♪

Nora gave
me back the ring.

What is all this?

Lily, uh...

She staked herself in her heart.

What?

She thought that killing
herself would kill me.

She didn't realize that you
had already unlinked us.

I thought breaking the spell
would protect her.

If her sons succeeded
in killing me...

She would be spared, but it's...

No. No. Tell me this isn't real.

Tell me this isn't happening!

She's gone, Mary Louise.
She's gone.

♪ ...going to know ♪

I forgive you
for loving him, Lily.

You just wanted to love us all.

There's no sin in that.

She only has moments left.

Make the most of them.

Damon.

I'm truly sorry.

Say something.

You made your bed.

Have a nice nap.

Mom?

Are you still here?

I'm so sorry.

I don't think I can save you.

You've been poisoned
with werewolf toxin.

Without proper treatment,

you'll die soon.

Ok, mom, listen...

While you're still here,

There's something
that's been nagging at me for...

A long time.

I'm so sorry.

"Mom"? Wow.

You must really be
having a bad trip.

Your mother's been dead
for years.

You're not my mother?