The Vampire Diaries (2009–2017): Season 7, Episode 6 - Best Served Cold - full transcript

After being reunited with her former love Julian, Lily hosts a dinner party to introduce him to Damon and Stefan and to declare peace between her family of Heretics and the residents of ...

Previously on
"The Vampire Diaries"...

What was the deal
with you the Stefan?

I was the first love
of Stefan's life.

Stefan,
meet Julian.

Julian was the man you were
not supposed to fall for.

Does Stefan Salvatore
know that you

are pregnant
with his child?

What?

I wanted to tell you
personally,

but Julian made sure
there was nothing to tell.

Please don't
tell anyone.



I won't, I promise.

Alaric: The Phoenix stone brings
people back from the dead.

Bonnie: We made a mistake.
Jo was never in that stone.

I put someone else
in her body.

You're not
my wife.

I don't think I am.

We'll figure this
out together.

Damon: Burying
that bastard's body

would've been too good for lily.

I want to give her that man
that she's missed

for a hundred years,
and then I want

to rip his head off
right in front of her.

Valerie: Julian is the devil.
I can't let lily bring him back.

If she does, I will
kill Julian myself.



[Voices and laughter on TV]

So tell me, what
thoughts go through

a man's mind
before he decides,

"I think I'll take the
ones with the roosters"?

I didn't
pick those out.

Hang on.
Glitter.

Yeah. Well, it goes
with the territory.

What the hell
do you want, Damon?

When's the last time you
talked to your fiancee?

I see word
travels fast.

She texted
earlier today. Why?

What time was it,
and what'd she say?

12:18--
"do we need bread?"

Well, she's not
answering her phone now.

Yeah. Well,
she doesn't like

to answer the phone
before a broadcast.

I don't care.
Get her on the horn.

Stefan's being
hunted again,

and it's only a
matter of time

before Caroline's
the bait

that's used
to lure him out.

Move.

Caroline: We apologize
for the interruption

to your current program.

My name is Caroline.

I am a segment producer
for "kqbc news."

Please listen carefully.

I have an urgent message
for Stefan Salvatore.

Oh, well.

I guess the old ball
and chain won't

make it home for dinner,
after all, will she?

[Clears throat]

Hold the gun.
There you go.

Now, the first thing
you want to do...

[Spits]

Bite the paper off
the cartridge like this.

Hand me that ramrod.
There you go.

Now I want you
to do it.

Push it all
the way down.

Perfect.

How far away
can I shoot?

Well, you see that, uh--

you see that tree over there
with the bark falling off?

No.

Pretty far, then, huh?

Can I shoot it?

I don't know.
Think you're old enough?

I'm 11.

I was 12 when I shot
my first gun.

Dad, I can do it.

You think so?
Yeah.

All right. Ok.

Let's go find
ourselves a deer.

Come on.

[Click]

See, now, the trick is,

never take your eye
off the target.

Got that?

Jacob.

Jacob!

Jacob!

Jacob! Jacob!

Jacob!

Hey, it's just me.

Hey.
Who's Jacob?

Who?
Jacob.

You were yelling
his name.

Oh, um, must have
been a bad dream.

Oh, probably because you're
sleeping on the couch, silly.

What are you
doing down here?

That would be
my fault.

I--I just wanted
to let you know

I used the last
of the shampoo.

Valerie, I didn't know
that you were staying here.

Stayed, past tense,
um, just one night.

[Clears throat]

I should go
put some clothes on.

Yeah.
You do that.

All right.
Ok.

Explain.
Ok.

Lily wants to raise
Julian from the dead.

Valerie tried
to scorch his body

before she can get
her hands on him,

and that did not
work out so well.

Not following how
that's our problem.

Ok. If and when lily
welcomes Julian

back into his body,
he will find out

what Valerie did, and
he'll come after her.

Yeah. Just not
connecting those dots.

Well, maybe you can
just trust me

that I know
what I'm doing.

So what you're saying is,
Valerie needs to disappear--

new name, new job,

a country in
a separate hemisphere.

No. No.

Well, you just said
that she's in danger.

I mean, if I need to drive
her to the airport myself,

I will do that,
mm-hmm.

Unless you have
a problem with that.

Uh, you know, I--
I really like

this form
of manipulation.

Hmm.

[Clears throat]

Whatever we're doing,
we should do it fast.

The Phoenix stone
turns people mad,

and Julian's soul's been
in it for over a hundred years,

so anywhere he is,
I need to be

as far away as possible.

Hwah! Ah...

See, beau, fencing's
got to flow--hwah!--

like a conversation.

I speak.
You listen.

I speak some more.

Ah.

You've improved.
Well done, friend.

Ah!

Men: ¶ you're in my head ¶

¶ get out of my bed ¶

¶ you don't run the world ¶

¶ you're in my head... ¶

lily:
Gentlemen...

Our back yard's
not big enough?

Beau insisted,
didn't you, friend?

Heh heh.

Take it outside,
please.

Well, you heard this
ridiculously attractive woman.

You are
suspiciously cheery.

Are you sure you shouldn't
still be in bed?

My love, I need to be
on my feet again.

I spent the last
hundred years on my back,

so unless you can make an
offer that I cannot refuse--

mm...

Ok.

Tempting,

but I have
another idea.

And I like it
already.

Ha ha ha!

We have
enemies here.

You mean Valerie.

That name is not to be
uttered in this house.

I am referring
to my sons.

Your sons are alive?

Ok. Well, I have some
catching up to do.

My thoughts exactly.
Hmm.

[Doorbell rings]

"Lily Salvatore
requests your presence

"to celebrate our town's
peaceful spirit

"and introduce
a new friend--

this evening, 5:00."

Hmm, looks like mom
raised her man crush

from the dead.

[Tape rewinding]

Alaric, on tape: I promise
to be with you and love you.

[Cell phone rings]

Hey.
Bonnie: Hey.

Remember when we used
an ancient relic

to raise your wife
from the dead

and ended up imbuing her
with someone else's soul?

Why are you calling me?

Because I'm at scull bar,
where faux Jo is currently

holding her laptop
like it's a book.

You promised me
you would help her

figure out who she was
before she did anything crazy.

Yeah, and every time
I look into her eyes,

I see my murdered wife,
so I'm taking a break.

I know this is probably
impossible for you.

We have no idea what's
gonna happen to her.

We can't just leave
her unattended.

Well, just keep
an eye on her, then.

I can't. I have to go
to Mystic Falls.

Lily Salvatore is having
some peace party mixer

which'll probably result
in half of my friends

nearly dying
if I don't attend,

so get here now,
preferably before someone

asks Jo to perform
surgery, ok?

Zac carper:
¶ I just say that I'm happy ¶

¶ now leave me alone ¶

ah, go no tie,
I'm going no tie.

Not just no tie,
no going.

You saw her invite.
Julian's back. You're going.

To watch lily
bat her eyes

at her zombie
douche brain boy toy?

Thanks, but I'd
rather stay home

and stub my toe
repeatedly.

You do realize that zombie
douche brain boy toy

is living in your house,
bathing in your tub,

eating your froot loops.

Oh, I know.

I also know that he's
the love of mom's life,

mom, who convinced kai
to link Elena's life

with Bonnie's
so I'd be miserable

for the next
6-plus decades.

What are you
getting at?

Julian makes her
happy, Stefan.

More time they spend together,
the happier she gets,

the more tragic
it'll be in 6 months

when I hand-deliver
his heart to her.

6 months?

Yeah, you know,
give or take.

Let her get her hopes up.

Let her start planning
their entire eternity,

and then, squish,
he's dead.

That might be a bit
of a problem, brother,

because I plan on killing
the bastard tonight.

Seattle looks nice.

Hey, they got
the space needle,

great coffee,
mount St. helens.

Rain.

Didn't take you much
of a sunshine person.

Um, I mean, there's
always Indonesia.

Oh, you could rent
a hut on the beach

and drink
out of coconuts.

Be 9,000 Miles
from your boyfriend

in either direction.

Let's put a pin in
locations for a moment

and talk names because
Valerie tulle

is way too traceable.

I'm thinking...
Matilda.

Oh, you could totally
pull off matilda--

matilda pettigrew

from liverpool, england.

What, do you want
to write it down?

You're handling me like
I'm a wounded bird,

like I'm some sort
of victim, but I'm not.

When Stefan kills Julian,
he can't hurt anyone else,

and I can just put
this whole mess behind me.

What mess?

You know, the whole reason
I'm afraid of Julian,

my big secret,
the entire horror story.

Stefan must
have told you.

He promised me he
wouldn't tell anyone,

but I didn't know that
that included you.

Well, his loyalty certainly
is attractive, isn't it?

Ok. I'm sorry.
What didn't he tell me?

Never mind.

As you were saying,

uh, matilda pettigrew
from liverpool, hmm?

That's good.
I like it.

So you just line up
those matching pieces of candy

like so.

There you go.
You got it.

It took Mary Louise a month
to pass the first level.

And this is meant to be,
like, fun, right?

Oh, yeah.

Give it another 5 minutes,
you'll be full-on addicted.

I think this era
suits you, Nora.

Well, I wouldn't know.

Lily keeps us trapped
inside the town border.

There's nothing
here for us.

Well, I think
she's just nervous

to let her little
birdies fly free.

She doesn't want another
Valerie on her hands.

Well, Valerie's a traitor,
and lily knows

she and I
are nothing alike.

No. You certainly
are not.

Perhaps I could
talk to lily,

see if I can't
convince her

to loosen her reins
a little.

You would do that?
Of course.

There you are.
Guests are arriving.

Help me
greet them?

You're greeting them
dressed like that?

What's wrong
with it?

Absolutely nothing,
Mary Louise.

You look stunning,
as always.

[Creak]

Am I allowed in,

or does your cleaning lady
need to invite me?

We had her sign
the house over to us.

She was too expensive.
Come in.

Thank you.

Compliments of
the lockwood cellar.

Oh, thank you.

Ooh, where did all
these people come from?

Neighboring towns.

We promised them a night
of drink and conversation.

Ah, so you
compelled them.

I wanted to show you
what peace looks like.

My family
is civilized.

None of these people
are in danger.

Damon: What? No tie?

What are you
doing here?

I missed my stash.

Lily: Boys, why
don't you go mingle?

I'll put this away.

Tell me that you
are here to help me.

You know how you wanted
to, uh, redecorate?

Mm-hmm.

Can't let you
do that.

Why the hell not?

Because lily just
rearranged the furniture

and she needs a little
time to live in it,

you know, fall in love
with the whole

feng shui of it all.

Yeah. Let me guess--
for 6 months.

Ok. I give up.
What am I missing here?

Why do you care
so much?

Let's just say
that the furniture

lily recently purchased
is psychotic

and needs to be
disposed of immediately.

Julian:
Gentlemen, welcome.

Hmm. I'm Julian.
I'm Damon.

Lily told me
all about you.

Of course, you were
only a boy back then,

and now you're,
well, you.

Stefan, how long
has it been?

I don't know.

I must have
lost track

after I stopped
thinking about you.

Huh, my charm
is being lost on you.

You must be
dreadfully sober.

Beau, get these men
something to drink, will you?

Deputy Donovan.
Welcome.

It's Matt.

We lost all formalities
when you and your girlfriend

nearly drained me
of all my blood.

Ok. Look.

The whole point
of this shindig

is to start over,
so--

got a better idea.

Why don't you convince your
family to leave Mystic Falls?

And why would
I do that?

Why would a group
of vampires hang around

an abandoned town
with nothing to eat?

What are we
talking about?

Apparently, Matt
is sick of us.

I just want
my town back,

preferably before
anyone else dies.

Look around.
Look at all these people.

They're still alive,
aren't they?

At least till
the dessert course.

You're making it
worse.

Come on.
Let's go meet people.

Bonnie: Oh, did
whatever animal

they're serving for
dinner get a plus-one?

Hilarious.
I was invited.

You're scoping
the competition.

There is not
competition to scope.

[Knocks on door]

Since you're here,

if anyone's wondering,
you're my date.

Sorry?

Lorenzo, I'm so
glad you came.

Wouldn't miss it.

Bonnie, I know we've
had a rocky past,

but I hope this means you're
willing to start fresh.

You're the reason
I'm never gonna see

my best friend again,
so I hope you're joking.

Ahh...
Hmm, nice break.

Well, it is my
pool table, after all.

Ah, Damon, come
play with us.

Oh, I would, but I have an
irrational fear of pool tables.

It's not a rational
fear of losing?

Wait. Has he nev--

have you never heard
the story about the guy

that tries to kill the vampire
during a game of pool?

Huh. Well,
considering my body's

been in stasis
for a century,

why don't you
enlighten me?

Well, there's this guy.

He's about Stefan's build,
maybe a wee bit bigger,

little more chiseled,
less height on the hair.

Get on with
the story.

Right, so this vampire
that he wants to kill

is at least 300 years
older than him,

and anyone and everyone
with half a brain

knew he was being
an idiot,

but he had this
inexplicable obsession,

so he bets the vampire
in a game of pool,

and just as the vamp is
setting up for his last shot...

And?

Never got a chance.
Oh.

Yeah. Another vampire
comes out of nowhere

and stops him.

Like I said,
he was being an idiot.

Wow, that is a wonderful
story, hemmingway.

Thanks.

[Whistling
"strangers in the night"]

Hmm.

Man: ¶ know what is to come ¶

¶ or to sing of your history ¶

¶ our lives are like... ¶

I see you've mastered
the Internet.

One of these students showed
me something called webmd.

Apparently, I have a form
of retrograde amnesia.

So far, I've cancelled out
encephalitis

and paraneoplastic
limbic encephalitis.

Most of my characteristics
fall under fugue-state amnesia,

which is rare,
but then again,

so is coming back
from the dead,

which I just said
too loudly.

What?

Nothing.

Woman: Dr. laughlin,
you're back.

I thought you
were on sabbatical.

Laura homested,
one of your interns

at the med center
last semester.

Oh, right.

You remember Laura,
who you mentioned to me, right?

Laura
my star pupil.

Really? You
gave me a "c."

Anyway, how was
your honeymoon?

Amazing,
wasn't it, Ric?

Yeah, uh, fantastic.

Oh, Dr. laughlin,
y--your nose.

Your nose
is bleeding.

Oh, hey, do you mind
getting us some napkins?

Yeah. I'll be
right back.

[Coughs]

What the hell
is wrong with me?

¶ My lover ¶

[scatting]

[Applause]

[Feedback]

[Clink clink clink]

I hate to interrupt the party,
but I just wanted

to introduce
my dearest love Julian.

He's just returned from,
shall we say, travels abroad.

My family
is finally complete.

My hope now is that in time,

we can learn
to accept each other

and, together,
restore this town

with its residents
to a state of peace.

Cheers.

Cheers.
Cheers.

[Glasses clink]

[Sighs]

[Piano playing softly]

Beau, can I ask you
something?

Lily's concerns about me
weren't entirely wrong.

My time away might have
affected my head a bit,

nothing to worry
about, of course,

but, um, there is
a little something

that would bring me
great relief.

Our dearly departed
Oscar had something

of mine, but it wasn't
on him when he died,

so I thought perhaps it
was in his automobile.

Could you maybe figure
out where it was sent?

Great.

[Pat]

We haven't met.

Julian.

Lorenzo.
Hmm.

Those meat-and-cheese
spirals were decadent.

Your staff does
fantastic work.

I'll send them
your compliments.

Hmm.

It's called dignity.
Have some. It's free.

Oh, what I got in return
was priceless.

Julian is looking
for Oscar's car.

I intend
to find it first.

What are you doing?

Lily is watching.

I am fixing your tie,
making her jealous

like any good date.

That's what
you wanted, right,

make her
a little jealous?

Maybe a little.

[Inhales]

Anyway, I got
what I came for.

Have a nice night.

[Coughing]

Her nose just
started to bleed, and--

and then
that started.

Oh, here.

Uh! Take my blood.

Drink. It'll heal you.

[Gulping]

[Gulp]

[Coughing]

Or not.

What the hell's
wrong with her?

Valerie: Seems a vampire soul
inside a human body

does not
a perfect match make.

What does that mean?

The Phoenix stone
traps vampire souls.

Oscar had a vampire body,
got some other vampire's soul,

and he lost the plot.

Jo was a human.

Clearly, a basic human body
is unable to contain

the essence
of a vampire soul.

You add that together,
carry the one,

you're
a decomposing mess.

Thank you, Valerie.

Your tact is
wildly appreciated.

I was just saying
that she was a corpse

who was meant
to stay a corpse.

We know. We heard you,
but that corpse

was supposed to be
Ric's wife who died

with two kids inside of her
on their wedding day.

Sorry. I--
I had no idea.

Yeah. Well, now you do,
so just sit down quietly

while he says good-bye.

Ah, what a pretty dress.

Do you think?
Nora didn't even notice.

Well, Nora needs
her eyes examined.

She's talking to everyone
at this party but me.

I feel like a fool
running around

trying to impress
my own girlfriend.

Stand still
and say nothing.

Why don't you drink

what you're
actually craving?

Lily would
have my head.

No feeding
on the guests.

She practically made us
sign on oath in our blood.

Mm, just as
I expected.

What?

You, Mary Louise,
have lost your swagger.

The girl I remember
had spunk, vigor,

danger,
rules be damned.

No wonder
Nora's bored.

Mm, I won't tell this
if you won't.

[Slurping]

Dorothy Martin:
¶ gotta raise a little hell ¶

¶ ooh ooh ooh-ooh ooh ooh ¶

mare, did you change?

You're looking
very Scarlett johan--

Martin:
¶ baby, drop them bones ¶

¶ baby,
fare thee well ¶

¶ somebody gotta ¶

¶ gotta raise a little hell ¶

man: Excuse me. Can you tell
me where the high school is?

Oh, the entire
town's shut down.

You haven't noticed
the million signs?

Yeah. I'm looking
for the high school.

Yeah. I heard you
the first time. Why?

Uh, can you tell me
where the high school is?

Who you been
talking to?

Uh, I can't say.

If my boss is looking for me,
can you tell him I quit?

Uh...

What was
that about?

I don't know, but
I get the impression

he didn't, either.

We should
follow him...

[Cell phone chirps]

Unless you have
other plans.

This'll only
take a minute.

I'll meet you
at my truck.

Huh. Where
the hell's your TV?

Where's my bed?
Wow.

Guess lily took over
your bedroom,

and I will bet you
your old flat-screen

that Julian is not sleeping
in the guest quarters.

Here, I thought she
slept standing up

like a horse.

You need to help me
kill him,

or you need
to leave.

Do you know
what this means?

Knock it off.

It means mom's happy.

Another couple
of months of this,

and she'll have convinced
herself it's forever,

and that's when
we strike, Stefan.

Look at
your bedroom.

Our house is
unrecognizable.

Lily needs to go,
and killing Julian

is the start
of that.

You know something.

Look at you--
murdery, vengeful.

It's very
humanity-off, Stefan,

except your switch
is intact, which means

you know something,
so spit it out.

It's not my secret
to tell, Damon.

Oh, really?

Matt: So Nora showed me
where they keep the good stuff.

Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa. Hang on.

Does this bottle say,
"default deputy"? No.

No. It says,
"Damon's good stuff.

Do not touch."

[Coughing]

Stefan: Take Bonnie.
Get out of here.

It's about
to get ugly.

My brother told
the story wrong.

Ugh!

Uh...Ooh!

Aagh!

What are you doing?

Aagh! Aagh!
Aagh! Aagh!

[Run-out groove crackling]

Uhh...

Mhh...

Lily: What did I do to make you
hate me so much?

It's not about you.

Not about me?

Ever since I've been back,
all you have done

is try to strip me
of my happiness.

Answer me.
What did I do wrong?

[Footsteps]

Well,

I see Stefan's plan
went swimmingly.

Probably explains why
your fake guests are leaving.

Sit down,
both of you.

Damon: Oh, well, we wouldn't
want to wear out our welcome.

Ha ha! Brother,
let's hit the road.

Sit down, son,

or I'll
seat you myself.

Ok.

Hmm, over
a hundred years

inside this thing,
although in this,

my own
custom-made hell,

time is meaningless.

The pain,
the emptiness,

the complete lack
of humanity

is quite literally
endless.

No. Every day
is the same.

I wake up.

I try to escape,
but instead,

I end up killing
the person

that I love the most.

Every day,
over and over again,

I drive a stake
through your mother.

It's almost enough to turn
even the soundest mind mad,

but when you're over
475 years old,

you learn a thing
or two about yourself.

This couldn't be real
because I would never

bring harm
to your mother.

Hell was playing
tricks on me, hmm?

It was trying
to break me, but, no,

I wouldn't let it
because I knew

that if I did snap--

ooh, no, no--

I wouldn't be a man.

I'd be a monster.

Julian.

Your children have
no respect for you.

Rrgh...

Julian!

Knock it off.

Ah! Julian.
Julian.

Julian.

[Gasps]

Boys, out now.

I wonder what webmd

would have to say
about me now.

It's probably best
not to find out.

A woman was
wielding a sword

that pierced my heart.

The blade was metal.

It shouldn't have been
able to kill me, but it did.

Did you just
remember this?

I also remembered
my name.

I think I'm Florence.

Well, it's nice to
meet you, Florence.

Birdy: ¶ I've been
sleepless at night... ¶

I am so sorry that
I put you through this.

It's ok.

I know you want
your wife back.

I'm sorry I'm not her.

I wish I was.
She was a lucky woman.

Birdy: ¶ if I look back
to the start now... ¶

you would have been
an amazing husband.

Birdy: ¶ I see
everything true ¶

¶ there's still a fire
in my heart, my darling ¶

it's been so nice--

it's been so nice to
hear her voice again.

Thank you.

Thank you for allowing
me to say good-bye.

Birdy: ¶ and who says
love should ¶

[alaric sobs]

Birdy: ¶ break us
when we fall? ¶

good-bye, Ric.

Birdy:
¶ and if we're strong enough ¶

¶ to let it in ¶

¶ mm mm mm, mm mm mm ¶

¶ we're strong enough ¶

¶ to let it go ¶

¶ oh oh oh, oh oh ¶

¶ let it all go, let it all go,
let it all out now ¶

¶ we're strong enough ¶

¶ to let it go ¶

¶ oh oh oh, oh oh ¶

[rattling]

Hey, hey, what
are you doing here?

He did actually
see us, didn't he?

All right, everybody.
Please stand up.

We're gonna get you
out of here, ok?

[Snap snap]

Bonnie: It's not
gonna work, Matt.

Someone compelled
them to be here.

Sanguinem filio,

sanguinem effugarex
perpetuum...

Do you want the white sheet
or the off-white sheet?

I don't care.
You choose.

Effugarex
perpetuum...

What are you doing?

What is that?

It's my wedding video
postexplosion.

I've never been able to watch it
past the wedding vows.

Valerie, turn it off.
Wait.

I recognize
this chant.

That gemini kid kai
thought they

were sending him
to a prison world.

Who cares?
Turn it off.

No. You're not
listening.

They weren't sending
him away, Caroline.

They were trying to save

the next generation
of gemini twins.

I think your babies
are still alive.

He's still alive,

so I don't know what
you're moping about.

No talking until I'm
seeing two of you.

Then I'll kick
both of your asses.

This is why there
is a hard line

between good
and evil, Stefan.

I don't cross over
into your territory.

Don't cross
over into mine.

This isn't about you,
Damon. Get over it.

You know, I never
thought I'd say this,

Stefan, but I miss
the days when

you just let
your big brother

handle all
the dirty work.

Quite frankly,
I can't figure out

why you have such a big
beef with this guy,

unless v-card Valerie
got under your skin.

You don't want to start
with me right now, Damon.

I'm surprised,
Stefan.

I thought Caroline
was the one,

and yet, again,
we all thought

Elena was
the one, huh?

What is it about
the first time

that just makes it
so memorable?

I got Valerie
pregnant...

What?

In 1863.

Julian found out
about it,

and he beat her

until the baby
was no longer alive.

Oh...

I could've been
a father.

Why didn't you
just tell me?

What'd you
want me to do,

tell you I could've
had a kid

and watch you
brush it off

with some glib
joke about

how it was
150 years ago?

Yeah. I know it was
150 years ago, Damon,

and it's stupid
how much it affects me,

but it still does.

I want him dead,
Damon.

No one's gonna stop me
from killing him--

not in 6 months,
not in 6 weeks--

now.

Valerie: Twins are the lifeblood
of the gemini coven.

If a pregnant mother
is in danger,

then the transfer
is our magical failsafe.

It's rarely used
but used nonetheless.

Ric, tell me that
this isn't crazy.

My wife, who died
months ago,

just looked me in the eyes
and said good-bye to me.

Why the hell not?

Because I don't want you
to get your hopes up

for something
that's insane.

I need your blood.

Now put it here--
Indonesia,

farthest geographical
point from Mystic Falls.

Your progeny are, obviously,
made up of your DNA.

If they're alive, the blood
will travel along the map.

Once it's in the proximity
of the babies,

the map should ignite.

Close your eyes.
Clear your mind.

Phesmatos quare infantatum.

Phesmatos quare filios.

Ado finet terraeum.

Nunc temos rogamus.

Combutis et sanguinem.

Phesmatos quare infantatum.

Stefan: May I ask
you something?

Did Julian
remind you

of anyone in
particular tonight?

The almighty
giuseppe Salvatore.

Mm-hmm.
You saw it, too.

Yep, although
I will say,

Julian's right hook

has got a little
more heft to it.

Elena and I talked
about starting a family.

I mean, it was
fantasy, but still,

we secretly knew
as long as she

was a vampire,
it's all it was.

Then she took the cure,
and all of a sudden,

having a real family
was a possibility.

Granted, it'd be
dysfunctional as hell,

but we'd have
a real human family.

Did it ever
scare you,

the thought
that maybe you'd

turn out
like our father?

The guy sent our mom
away to die alone.

He bullied us for years,
and then he shot us.

If anything, I just want to
be a great dad to spite him.

Hmm.
What about you?

Well, I've been
on this earth

for 160-some years,
and I've seen

the world
at 30,000 feet.

I've traveled
to every continent

and learned
how to cook,

built a Porsche.

I think
my only regret

would be
not having a kid.

If you want Julian dead,
I'll help you.

Tomorrow,
tonight, now...

I'm in.

What the hell
happened down there?

You were in
a blind rage.

Ha! Rage?

We offered them
escargot and wine,

and your boy threw
me in the fire,

so he's lucky that
he still has his head.

They were just trying
to hurt me, all right?

Look. The whole point
of tonight was

to end this feud,
not start a new one.

Why do you care
what they think?

The lily that I remember
moved on from her children.

Where's the girl that
I fell in love with,

the girl that I found
irresistible?

I can't say that I
recognize this version.

This version has no desire
to see her children dead.

If you have
a problem with that,

we have a problem.

Lily...

Perhaps I'm more affected
by my time away

than I wanted
to admit.

You know I was wishing
that the hell had gone away,

but my mind,
it's not right.

I mean, the truth is,

I'm frightened that

I'm not the Julian
that you remember.

We'll fix it.
[Sighs]

We'll fix it
together, all right,

but you must
promise me

nothing like that will
ever happen again.

Well, in the meantime...

[Sniffles]

I need to feel safe.

Your kids
will strike again,

and I need
to protect myself.

What I believe
you have in mind

will take
the cooperation

of the entire
family.

It will,

but I don't anticipate
that to be a problem.

They love me.

Valerie: Finet terraeum.

Nunc temos rogamus.

Combutis et sanguinem.

Phesmatos quare infantatum.

Ado finet terraeum.

Nunc temos rogamus.

Combutis et sanguinem.

Phesmatos quare filios.

Guys, I don't think
it's working.

Nunc temos rogamus.

Combutis et sanguinem.

Caroline: Guys, stop.
The spell isn't working, ok?

The blood's just
off the map now.

See? I warned you
not to get your hopes up.

Oh, my God!

Ok. What the hell
happened?

Not possible.

What's not possible?

Valerie: Babies.
They're here.

Caroline: Where, huh,
floating in a raft

in the pacific ocean
somewhere?

Look at the map.
Your spell didn't work.

They're not on
the map, Caroline.

They're inside of you.