The Unusuals (2009): Season 1, Episode 3 - One Man Band - full transcript

What's the matter with you, huh?!

What are you doing?

2nd squad, be advised.

Female trapped in porta-potty
in the east river park.

This perfectly summarizes
my last relationship.

Tell me again,
whose day is this?

Mine.

And who's gonna solve
a major case today?

Eddie Alvarez.

That's right!

Now give me some sugar.



Mmm.

See you tomorrow.

Detective Shraeger.

This is my wife, Nicole.
She's with the D.A.'s office.

Casey Shraeger. Pleasure.

All right. See you later.

Love you.

Hate you.

You know,
that is not what you said in 8th grade

when you were going through
your little lesbian phase.

I'll bet Eddie doesn't
know about that, either.

Hag.
Trollop.

Well, I just worked a double.

Alvarez, hey!



What's up, jefe?

Hit and run on Canal and Orchard.

Victim's name is Bruce Moreno.

They got him at Saint Vincent's.
Go take a statement.

Got it.
Leave the Q&A to the E&A.

My head hurts.

It's your song selection.

Oh, everybody's a critic.

Look, man.
Please don't lock me up.

I can help you.
I know about a thing.

A thing? What?
Like a gun?

Better. I know this guy.

He told me about a store.
Crazy hush-hush.

You go down an alleyway...
you give a password...

you go there if you want to...
kill somebody.

You want to what?
Kill somebody.

Dispose of the body.

I would like to know the
address of such a store.

So much for crack security.

Oh, your neighbor buzzed me in.
I told him I manage your money.

He talks to himself an awful lot.

Yeah, well, on the plus side,

he's out of hearing,
so he yells.

Look, I need a favor.

My client's son, Mark Stanwood,
got arrested last night.

He peed on a cop's shoe.

Now the officer is charging him

with disorderly conduct
and resisting arrest.

You know, in the realm of
things you don't want to do,

urinating on a
law-enforcement officer's shoe

is, like, up there.

Yeah, but he was drunk.

It was an accident.
It wasn't a crime.

Rich kid.
He's a good guy.

You'll like him. What's not to like?
He pees on people.

Listen, I have to go to sleep.

Look, he's really scared, Casey.

Jail is suppose to be scary.
And I'm exhausted.

He's an idiot.
There's no question.

But you...
you write him a ticket.

You don't stick him
in a cell with a bunch

of... violent criminals.

Please.

Fine.
I'll talk to him, okay?

I will. I'll go see him.

But if I get one whiff of entitlement,

he's on his own.

Thank you.

So, tell me what happened.

I screwed up.

End of story. No excuses.

I was... I was drunk,

and there was a line for the bathroom.

And then I'm in the alley peeing,

and somebody taps me on the shoulder.

After the month I've had,
of course it was a cop.

He said you shoved him.

I didn't. I swear.

Look, please.

I lost my shoes and my jacket.

And if there's anything
that you can do to fix this,

I would really appreciate it.

All right,
take a breath. All right?

I'll have you out of here in no time.

Not a chance in hell.

Look, you got to help me.
I just worked a double.

What do you want, a medal?
My back's killing me.

And my squad sergeant
won't give me Friday off

to go see a doctor.

Listen, the guy peed on your shoe.

It's, like...
it's kind of funny, right?

He got in my face.
That's resisting.

Plus, those are the only shoes I got

That don't hurt my back.

These rich guys,

they think they can
get away with anything.

Well, not on my watch.

I was crossing avenue
"b" just after 2:00.

Silver car comes out of nowhere...

breaks my leg in four places
and ruptures my colon.

Okay, so, hit and run,
silver car,

2:00 a.m., avenue "b,"
your colon.

What am I gonna do?

I got a custody hearing tomorrow.

My wife's trying to take away my kids.

And I can't even walk.

Mr. Moreno,
you have my word.

Eddie Alvarez is gonna catch
the guy that did this to you.

Who the hell's Eddie Alvarez?

M... me.

Great.

My life is ruined,
and they send me a cop

who talks about himself
in the third person.

Sir, I assure you...

I am the best man for this job.

You know what I'm gonna do?

I'm gonna write my number down...

on, uh...

Okay.

Don't hesitate to call if
you remember anything else.

Okay?

Hang in there,
Mr. Moreno.

Mm!

Answer that, and I'll hurt you.

You're not hurting me anyway.

Walsh.

Hey.
Walsh, it's Shraeger.

Open up, I'm outside.

Uh... sure.

I got to get this.

I thought you were going to bed.

Me, too.

I need your help.

I'm trying to get a pass for a guy

on a bogus resisting charge.

Arresting officer won't play ball.

Well, what did he want?

What do you mean?

Well, the NYPD operates
on an economy of favors.

You want anything done,

you got to give something in return.

Is he complaining about anything?
His back.

Said his boss won't give him
Friday off to go to the doctor.

There you go.

He wasn't complaining,
he was telling you...

get me Friday off,
your guy walks.

Well, why didn't he say that?

Hey, you're out of shampoo.

Oh.

Sorry.
No problem.

I'll just, uh...
Yeah.

Oh.

That is gross.

I mean,
he's got to be lying, right?

Nobody is stupid enough to open a store

to help you kill people.

I don't know.

You remember that guy Vinnie Slutz,

90 pounds soaking wet?

Tried to steal a 300-pound xerox machine

from a third-story walk-up?

M.E. had to clean him up with a spatula?

Yeah. Yep. Nuff said.

You know,
I used to go to raves here.

You ready?

Nacho cheese.

There you go.

It's a murder store.

Sledgehammers, handguns, shovels, lye.

It's definitely a murder store.

My concern is,
how do we prove it?

We can convict the owner for possession

of illegal weapons
and banned substances.

But to prove conspiracy
to commit murder,

you need knowledge and intent.

Well, he kept receipts.

We can connect weapons bought in
the store with recent murders.

I want to know how civilians
find out about this place.

Word of mouth.

We need to keep it quiet.

Put everything in boxes,
pull the receipts,

and shut it down.

Or, um...

Or what?

Or we keep everything
just the way that it is,

and we set up a sting.

No.
No.

You know, which is fine,
except for the fact

that everyone who walks in there
is trying to kill somebody.

And we, in our capacity as
law-enforcement officials,

could identify and dissuade them,

thus saving the lives of many taxpayers.

You want the NYPD to sell
people murder weapons,

and instruct them how
to dispose of the body

after they use them?

Yes, only we arrest them
before they actually do.

Command would need to sign off.

If one weapon gets out of here,
we're talking giant lawsuit.

Don't worry,
we're not gonna let that happen. We?

We, yeah.

Oh, really?

Mm-hmm.
In what universe do you think

I intend to spend one more minute

in a murder store, partner?

In the universe where I'm God.

Hi, uh,
excuse me Commander Shaw?

Yeah?

Um, I'm Detective Casey
Shraeger from the 2nd squad.

I'm sorry to bother you,
but I need your help.

I'm... working this case,
and it's, uh...

anyway, it's complicated,
but the bottom line is, um...

I... I need you to give
Officer Sedlacek off on Friday.

Yeah?
You sleeping with him?

Ew, gross. No.

I need him to do something for me,

and Walsh said that you might be
able to help me out, so... Walsh?

Uh, yeah, my partner?
Jason Walsh?

Yes?

You tell that backstabbing thief,

the only way I help you...

he crawls in here on his belly,

and he hands over that
trophy he stole from me.

It's typical, this...

2nd squad,
possible 10-10 at Mike's Meat warehouse.

But more importantly,

what is it about me
that scares men away?

Uh, Wednesday,
10-2-0 hours.

Detective Eddie Alvarez at
the scene of the hit and run

of Mr. Bruce Moreno.

The victim was jaywalking
in the middle of the block

when he was struck by
an oncoming vehicle

traveling at a high rate of speed.

Excuse me. Sir.

Hi. Detective Eddie Alvarez.
NYPD.

Hey, partner,
this is my fiance, Amy.

Hi.
Nice to finally meet you.

Henry talks about you all the time.

We're headed over to see the minister

to talk about the wedding.

Excuse me a minute.

Uh, so...

Can I ask you something?
Between us girls.

Okay.

Well, you know Henry and
I are saving ourselves

for our wedding night.

Oh?

Well, I really want it to be special,

and I know from Henry
you're an experienced woman.

And, well,
and I was wondering if...

if you think he would like it

if I...

You're gonna be married
for a thousand years.

Guaranteed.

Okay, where's my desk?

Hey, that's my desk.

Walsh, did you put my desk
in the holding cell? What?

This is my desk.
No, it's not.

It's mine.
Looks like his desk to me.

Walsh, why would a prisoner need a desk?

Where else is he gonna work?

Hey, can I talk to you?

Sure.

Um, ask me how my day's going.

So, how is your... what?

Back away from the desk.

I'd rather not.

Does the name Ben Shaw
mean anything to you?

Squad sergeant at the 1-5?
No.

Well, your old pal, Ben,

says that the only
way he's gonna help me

is if you give back some kind of trophy.

Yeah, that's never gonna happen.

I won that thing fair and square.

No way in hell I'm giving that up.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, come here.

Not gonna happen.
Walsh!

Come here, seriously!
I want to go back to sleep!

Why are you, uh,
working this so hard?

What's your connection to this guy?

He pissed on a cop.

He's my ob/gyn, okay?
Now tell me about the trophy.

Did you know it's impossible
to drink a gallon of milk

in an hour?

What?
You can't do it.

It's food.
Your stomach can't process it.

What does that have to do with anything?

Well, when I was a rookie,

there was this patrolman,
Ben Shaw,

who just... you know,
he had it out for me.

He kept busting my balls,
stealing my collars.

So I bet him that I could
drink a gallon of milk

faster than he could.

Now, he can eat three
cheeseburgers for lunch, okay?

He's a big eater.

Now, I have this trophy made.

Oh, I don't think I want to
hear the end of this story.

The entire squad is there.

Shaw sits down,

drinks the entire gallon of milk,
two minutes flat...

boom... contest over, right?

Except now Shaw's not looking so good.

10 seconds later,

a waterfall of milk comes
rocketing out of his mouth,

his nose.

It was... it was awesome.

But he finished first,
so... Okay, no.

You're a girl,
so I'll... I'll explain.

Keeping it down is rule number
one in any eating contest.

So I sat there for three more hours,

I finished my milk.

I win the trophy,

while Shaw mops up a
gallon of his own puke.

Wow. Good times.

Now give me the stupid thing.

Sure.

What are you gonna do for it?

I'll give you 50 bucks.

Cash? No.

This is about favors, remember?

I cannot believe that you wouldn't...

help me.

You're my partner.

You trying to cry?

I'll do your fives for a month.

Ah, there you go.
Deal.

I mean,
this is really mind-blowing, man.

People actually use
their credit cards here.

You know you can't wear the vest

while we're undercover, right?

What?

Great.

That's just...

You want me dead, don't you?

Why don't you just grab
that hatchet over there

and get it over with?

Will you relax?

We're probably not even
gonna get any customers.

What we will get, however,

Is hours upon hours of downtime.

Huh?

Yeah, that's right, huh?

No chases...

no shoot-outs.

No.
Nothing.

Yeah, and just a little light reading.

Janet McKidd.

Bought three pounds of lye

and a copy of "don't kill us,
we'll kill you."

Ahmad Khan...
paid $129.99 plus tax

for a.22 caliber pistol

and 10 yards of plastic sheeting.

Well, you got to have the sheeting.

Aardvark.

I got to tell you, man,
I'm a little excited.

A quality sting is extremely satisfying.

I'm telling you, it's gonna be like
shooting fish in a barrel, my brother.

Easier arrest we'll ever make.

Uh-huh.
How's it look, good?

It's good.
Yeah, just, you know.

Remember, I'm Steve.
Yeah. Got it. Here we go.

Hello.
How can we help you?

My husband's been beating
the crap out of me

for the past five years.

I want you to help me kill him.

The first time he hit me,
I left.

He begged me to come home,

told me it would never happen again.

And I believed him.

I always believed him.

Even when he said I deserved it.

Mariah Carey.

Why didn't you,
uh... why didn't you call the cops?

I did.

But Wendall's on the job.
He's a parole officer.

He told the cops that
he'd get counseling,

so I didn't press charges.

To thank me, he broke my arm.

Hey, welcome to the murder store.

Uh, did you, uh...

did you get one of those, uh...

you know, uh,
restraining orders?

Yeah, last October.

To celebrate, he broke my ribs.

Told me if I ever left him,
he'd kill me.

Steve.

Not now, Bob. No, no, no.

This customer really needs our help.

Says he, uh...

he'd like to make...
them all pay,

and, uh,
he's looking for some suggestions.

Do you have any timers?

Yeah, uh, aisle two.

How about a blowtorch?

Can you pardon me for just one moment?

Sure. I'll shop.
Okay.

Hey, listen, if you could be
a little bit more specific

as to who they all are,

maybe we could, uh,
make some suggestions.

Does this get brains
out of radial tires?

Are there brains in your
radial tires right now?

I think what my associate
is trying to say

is that we're having a sal
on all spree-killing supplies

as long as you sign up
for our mailing list.

Right.

Right, so if you, uh,
want to sign up, I got a...

You got a Facebook or an address that we can
take down. No, I need to sign up for that.

Bob?

Y... yeah.

We got a problem.

Uh, I'll be...
What?

All our poison just, uh,
walked out the door.

A strong marriage is based on honesty.

So, if there's anything you feel

you need to confess to each other,

now is the time.

I'm sorry.
I need a minute.

What are you doing here, Frank?

Is that the missus-to-be?

Damn, Navan.
She is a piece.

Why's she talking to that chinese guy?

You listen to me.

You don't look at her,
and you don't talk to her.

And stop calling me Navan!

It's Henry now!
I get it. I get it.

You're worried she sees me,
and it's all over.

Well, I will restrain myself
on account of our friendship.

What do you want?

I wanted you to be the first to know...

this boy is officially done laying low.

I'm back, baby.
No.

Oh, yes.
And it's gonna be epic.

We are gonna own this town, brother.

I'm... I'm not helping
you break the law, Frank.

I'm a police officer.

I know!
That's what's so great!

It's like...
it's like if I had a nemesis,

you could arrest him.

Or... or... get this...

You could steal evidence from
the evidence locker, right?

And then...
we could sell it.

Absotely not.

Come on, Navan!

Don't you remember Odessa?
What about the times we had? Come on.

H... Henry?

Uh, just a minute.
He's just gonna be a minute.

Listen to me.

If you really are my friend,
just let me be.

I'm trying to be a good man,

to walk down a different path now.

You rascal...
I see the devil glint in your eye.

Now, you mull it over,
'cause I got some big plans.

I got big plans.
Henry?

Yeah?

Are you okay?

Yeah, oh, hey,
Henry's just fine.

And might I add,
you look lovely today, ma'am.

You got a special man here.

You take good care of him

I'm gonna see you later...

Henry.

Hey, fellas.

How's that murder-store thing going?

Good.
Fantastic.

I still think we should tell the sarge.

We're not telling anyone, okay?

What if she kills her husband?

She's not gonna kill him, okay?

We're gonna have an address
and an I.D. in five minutes.

We'll probably beat her home.

Really? Really?
And how are we gonna get an I.D.?

Because we're talking
about a battered woman

who's made multiple
complaints to the cops,

who's married to a parole
officer named Wendall.

All right?
It shouldn't be too, uh...

difficult.

And here it is.
Okay, "Wendall Tate."

Married to Roxanne Tate.
Hudson street.

Six domestic complaints
in the last six months.

All right,
I'll put a notification on the address,

so any 911 calls,

dispatch notifies us directly,
all right?

Okay. All right.

We go over there, right?
And Roxanne's home.

We... we arrest her.

And if it's him?
The... the husband.

We tell him his wife
is trying to kill him,

he kills her first, guaranteed.

Right, well, okay, yeah,
I hadn't thought of that.

You hadn't thought of that?
I can't think of everything, all right?!

Oh, this is a bad idea...
this whole thing!

Oh, "we'll just sit around all day,"
you said.

"Like shooting fish in a barrel,"
you said.

Now someone's gonna get killed,
and we're gonna get fired.

Sunshine! Okay?!

Look on the bright side.
You get to put the vest back on.

I get to...
I... I hadn't thought of that.

Yeah.

I thought this trophy
was a prized possession.

Hmm.

So, who are we really doing this for?

Family friend.

That that stuffed shirt
you're sleeping with, is it?

Davis? No. No.

I mean it was,
but it's not about him anymore.

Just, this...
this kid Stanwood...

they're bullying him,
and it really bothers me.

Cops shouldn't do that...

they... they shouldn't arrest someone

just 'cause they don't like him.

Well, all I'm gonna say is be careful.

Because doing favors for civilians

always comes back to
bite you in the ass.

Tell Shaw I hope he falls
and impales himself on it.

Uh, yeah.
Here's the thing.

You have to walk in and
hand it to him yourself.

Finally!

Justice is done.

And the trophy is returned
to its rightful owner!

This proves for all eternity

that I really won that contest,

and Walsh is just a cheat.

Okay, I think you've
totally made your point.

Does this mean that sedlacek has
Friday off? I'm good on my word.

Are we square?
Yep.

I'll go get your guy.

Yeah.

Your man is solving this case.

Why isn't my man tearing off my clothes?

Uh, 'cause that's two-way glass.

So I'll do it two ways.

Wait, wait, wait.

That's a silver Sedan.
That's gotta be the car!

Oh, got it.

Bravo-One-Niner...

Lincoln, 6... oh... 62...

Leased to...

Eddie.

I'm ready to go here.

Oh, I got this guy.

Eddie!

I'm so sorry.
I promise...

Let me...
let me go arrest this guy,

and later, I'll...
do that thing.

You mean that thing?

Exactly.

I can't thank you enough.

No, it's fine.

Just keep the pee-pee
private from now on, huh?

I will. Promise.

All right.

Thanks.

I cannot wait to go home
and make out with my pillow.

Hey, Detective Eddie Alvarez,
2nd squad.

I caught a hit and run with injuries.

You guys are holding my
suspect on unrelated.

Mark Stanwood.

Alvarez, what did you just say?

What?

Oh, hey.

Mark Stanwood?
Hit and run?

Yeah, last night.

What are you guys doing here?

Sir, this is my screwup.
Walsh was just helping me.

I don't care, you helped the wanted felon escape
prosecution. And that's on the both of you.

Nice work today, Shraeger.
How bad is it?

The video Eddie got doesn't
show the actual hit and run.

So if Stanwood cleans up
his car before they find it,

there is no case.

Find the car.

Okay.
So, you're a yuppie gel-head.

You just decided to run
over another human being

with your car...
what do you do?

You go to a bar.
You get drunk.

Go outside piss on a cop.

So the car has to be parked

somewhere near the bar
where Stanwood was drinking.

Yeah.
I'll get patrol out looking for the car.

I'll get on the phone
with the Lojack company.

No, I don't care.

You find that car.
You call me first, not Walsh.

Yes.

Oh... yeah, okay.

All right.
Yeah, yeah. Okay, bye.

Eddie.

Oh, hey,
babe you want a vanilla chai?

There were cinnamon sticks,
but I think they're... all gone.

Drop the Stanwood case.

What? Why?

Because you're chasing a guy

whose father raised $6 million
for the governor last year.

Okay, babe,
this is a high-profile case.

I can make lieutenant off of this.
No, you can't.

Stanwood's too well-connected.

This'll hurt you, Eddie.

I promised Mr. Moreno
that I would help him out.

Let Walsh and Shraeger help him.

Baby, this is about where
you can do the most good.

And that's always gonna be at the top.

For me?

Okay.

Hey.

I was gonna call you and, uh,
check in.

How did everything go with Stanwood?

Whoa...

whoa! Hey!
You're under arrest!

You have the right to remain silent!
Casey, come on! Wait a second!

Anything you say can and will be
held against you in a court of law.

Wait, wait a second... I'm arresting
you for accessory to felony hit and run.

Hit and run?! What?!
Wait a minute!

I had no idea that...
that Mark Stanwood

was involved with a hit and run.
Nice try!

Where is he?
I have no idea.

I swear! Casey, I swear!

Look, I didn't know that
he was involved in this

when I asked you to help him!

Oh, he just forgot to
tell you when he called?

He didn't call me.

Your father did.

Of course. My father.

He plays golf with Mark's dad.

I don't care if they're in love.
Okay? I don't.

I just let a violent
criminal out of jail.

He could be destroying
evidence right now.

I didn't know.

Now please uncuff me.
People are starting to stare.

Don't ever ask me to do
anything for you again.

You understand me?

I'm sorry.

Police.
Is your wife home?

No, and if you find her,

tell her she's supposed
to be doing my laundry.

Oh, I like him already.

We're coming in.

Look.

If this is about her eye...
she's clumsy.

You know how it is.

No, I...

Look, uh, pal, your wife...

She, uh...

might have witnessed a robbery today,

and we need to talk to
her as soon as possible.

Roxanne?

You'd be better off
talking to the toaster.

She's... she's a real scatterbrain,
you know?

Clumsy and a scatterbrain.

Sounds like she really completes you.

I don't like your attitude.

Really?

Look at me.

Hey, your wife...
she calls...

you call us...
you understand?

Fine.
Okay.

Are we done?

For now.

All right, well,
tell him to keep looking, would you?

We need to find Stanwood's car.

All right, thanks.

Hey.
How's the search going?

Have you, uh,
triangulated a grid vector?

Really?

All right, listen,
I just wanted to let you know

that, uh, Eddie Alvarez is gonna
take a backseat on this hit and run,

let the new girl fix her mistake.

Yeah? Why is that, Eddie?

Uh, I'm all about the... compassion.

Wrong.

You're backing out 'cause
Stanwood's connected.

Okay, that's ridiculous.
Shut up.

Eddie, come on.
Y... you're not a bad cop, okay?

The videotape,
that's a nice grab.

But you have to stop playing politics

for, like, five minutes.

Walsh. Yeah.

Traffic just called with a location

on the Stanwood car.

Yeah. Okay. I'm on it.

It's a silver car with
front-end damage...

We're too late.

Hold it.
Where do you think you're going?

I got a delivery for Detective Cole.
Well, you just don't walk in and...

I got it, Ron.
Oh.

Hey, 50 bucks.

Don't skimp on the tip this time!

Hey, it's me.

I found us the perfect score.

It's a camera shop up on Broome.

It's got a lot of
high-end you-know-what...

Cameras.

Now, the problem is,

there's a squad car sitting
on it at night, so...

Okay, I told you.
I can't.

So, what you're telling me is
I'm talking to the wrong guy.

Oh, that's cool. Just point me to
your boss. We can share a slice.

I'll tell him about my
old friend Navan Granger.

Fine.

Aah! I'll do.

Just get out of here.
Hey.

What?
50 bucks.

Are you...
are you kidding me?!

A tip. Come on.

Oh, get out of here.

You have a nice day.

Csu checked Stanwood's car.
It's clean.

Kid's gonna walk if you
don't find something else.

I had D.O.T. pull all the
photos from the traffic cameras

in the neighborhood,

before and after the hit and run.

All right.
See this one

this is two blocks
before the hit and run.

If we can find one from after

that shows damage to the car...
All right.

Whoa, whoa, here we go.

What, you got damage?

Even better.

Well, well.

Looks like Mr. Stanwood
was getting a culinary tour

of the south of pants
when our victim was hit.

He's lucky she doesn't
have a bite reflex.

Now all I have to do is I.D. her,

have her turn on Stanwood,

and I'm gonna be making out
with my pillow by midnight.

Hey, think your boyfriend knows her?

No, but I know who will.

Casey?

Were we supposed to be having dinner?

I don't know what the
moral implications are

for having your father cavity searched,

but I am seriously close to ordering it.

Who is she, dad?

I have no idea.

Don't lie to me.
I'm not.

I should have known
you were behind this.

I'm not behind anything.

I just knew if I asked you directly,
you wouldn't do it.

Did you know about the hit and run?
Of course not.

What kind of a man do you think I am?

Honestly? I don't know.

I need a name...
and I need you to think

about what's more important to you...

your golf buddy or your daughter.

All right. We got foot patrol
looking for Roxanne Tate,

we got radio cars going by...

every 30 minute

What else?

That's it.
There's nothing else.

Nothing else.

You know, screw it.
I'm going back there.

What are you doing?
I'm going back there!

Leo, it's a domestic.
All right?

They all go sideways.
Don't get emotionally involved.

Come on, man.

They teach you that on the first day.

Let me ask you a question.

Do you have any idea what it's
like to go to bed every night

terrified you won't wake up?

And then wake up the
next morning terrified

you won't make it through the day?

Hmm?

Roxanne Tate does.

She goes day to day

knowing that this dude
is gonna kill her.

Maybe not today, but soon.

Leo, every time he hits her,
she goes back.

432, this is dispatch.

Dispatch, this is 432.

Call just came in on your domestic.

115 Hudson Street.
Apartment 1-A.

Leo, if she killed him...

we have to arrest her.

We're not arresting her.

Leo...
We are not!

I did it.
I poisoned him.

She poisoned me?

Yes, just sit still okay.
What we doing here?

Somebody talk to us what are you doing?

I'm not gonna tell you again.

You take me to the hospital,
and you arrest her!

I'm telling you to sit down!

Eric, what are we doing?
It's okay. You can arrest me.

I did what I had to. We're not...
Listen to the bitch, all right?

Hey, watch your language in front
of the lady, huh?! Sit down!

Okay. Relax!

See, look,
now your stomach is hurt... okay.

She stays here.
Uh, he comes with us.

The minute you pull away,

that bitch is gonna run.
No, she's not.

Damn, it hurts.

Okay, here it is.

We're gonna take you
to a hospital, Wendall,

but which one depends on you.

What the hell is that supposed to mean?

It means if you promise us

you're never gonna see your wife again,

we'll take you to a
hospital around the corner.

But if you don't, I hear Staten
Island's gorgeous this time of year.

You can't do that.
I got rights.

What about your wife's rights

not to get the crap kicked
out of her by her husband?

Huh?
She had it coming.

Okay. Staten Island.

No, no, no, no!
Wait, wait, wait, wait, guys...

Okay. I promise.
I'll leave her alone.

Mm.

I don't believe him.
Not truthful.

Oh, come on, please, please,
I don't want to die!

Wendall, we all die.

I swear to God.

I'll leave her alone.
I swear.

I'll... I'll... I'll...
I'll give her all my money.

Whatever you want.

Oh. Okay.

Okay.

But if you're lying...

We'll be there. Got me?

Put your seat belt on.

Shraeger, you got a visitor.

Wasn't expecting to see you here.

So, this is where you work.

It's, uh... it's very...

authentic.

Do you have a name for me?

I spoke to Mark's boss.

I offered him a job at
twice his current salary.

He said Mark's been sleeping

with a woman named Linda Cooper.

Satisfied?

Casey...

I would never pick anyone over you.

My client's in a difficult position.

I'd say.

Let me guess...

fellating a strange man
nullifies your prenup.

Look, there's no reason
that this has to get out.

What do you mean?
Here's the deal.

You tell us Mark ran the guy over...
we arrest him.

You plus the photo?

Mark's lawyer negotiates a plea deal,

and your involvement
never leaves this room.

Mark was drunk.

Creamed that guy ming off the curb,

and I wanted to stop.

Mark said no,
that nobody would ever find out.

The tabloids have been claiming the pair

have been in trouble for some years.

In local news tonight,

son of real estate
Tycoon Leonard Stanwood

has been arraigned on
a hit-and-run charge.

Mark Stanwood is being held without bail

and is considered a flight risk.

The victim of the alleged hit and run,

Queens resident Bruce Moreno...
Let's go home.

Has undergone surgery for...

Yeah, how you doing?
Uh, this is Detective...

Um, Detective...

Chase calling from the 2nd squad.

You got a patrol car
sitting on 26 Broome Street?

Great, I need the car pulled
for a couple of hours tonight.

I've got an undercover
operation going on there.

Great. Thank you.
Thank you.

Murder store

I want to kill my boss.

I'm wearing an NYPD jacket.

Dude, I know.
It looks so real.

Really?
You... you think that looks real,

why don't you try these cuffs!