The Unremarkable Juanquini (2020–…): Season 1, Episode 7 - Easy to Get Into, Hard to Get Out Of - full transcript

Have the police and Ñato been looking at the wrong person - at beleaguered Juanquini - when the real magician has been right under their noses?

Walk! Walk! Watch out, be careful.

A NETFLIX ORIGINAL SERIES

Walk! Walk!

Apparently, those damn women

want to be in trouble,
and they get you in trouble!

Don't get married, lawyer.

Don't get married.
That's a one-way ticket to hell!

Well, why am I saying this to you?
You're a smart man...

You like women...

Or men...

Damn, I met a woman.



Or was it a man?

Walk, damn it!

Climb, damn it! Climb!

I remember,
was it a girl or a boy? Because...

- Guys.
- Boss.

Here we are.

Master...

Master! Master?

Damn it, Master!

So, he escaped. He disappeared.

The magician left?

- Did you see him?
- No.

- Did you?
- No, boss.

Where is the master?



- I don't know, sir.
- Where the fuck is he?

He disappeared.

No!

You miss Dad, right?

Yes.

There are things
I can't handle on my own, Mónica.

It's an incredible story, right?

An ordinary magician
who makes a drug lord disappear,

and then he himself disappears
on his way to being extradited.

Everything under the authorities' watch.
All they want is to cover everything.

Sounds like a movie or a TV show, right?

Mom...

didn't you say
every crisis is an opportunity?

Don't start with that.
I know you too well.

You won't profit off your dad's story.
Over my dead body.

No way.

No, don't worry, it's just a joke.

Relax, I'm here with you.

Thanks.

This guy is smarter than my dad.

- Damn.
- Heriberto.

Why haven't you told me about this tunnel?

There are things
I don't tell you for your safety.

What should I do? Go there? Where?

I don't know.
But I know we should move house.

Juanquini is on the run.
We can't take a risk.

What? Why?
I was doing great in that house.

Can't I be happy at all?

No, we have to prioritize our security.

Let's look for the master.

- We have to find the magician.
- Come on, calm down. It's not a big deal.

I'm on it.

I hope this is the last time we meet.

Why are you doing this?
Why would you help me?

I told you.

There's no room for a magician
and a witch in this organization.

Thanks, then.

Try to disappear.

Ñato will look for you everywhere.

I know that.

If anything happens,
you never saw this face.

You saved my life. I owe you.

Bye, then.

No, man,
this isn't the "Whining Department."

What happened? Talk, traitor.

She left.

Who left?

- Patty.
- Patty who?

Patty is my... I lost her, boss.

The gringos called her this morning.

They took her off the case.
She grabbed her bags and left.

She left us forever, boss.

They leaked it.

The news we were afraid of was leaked.

Everyone knows we're incompetent,
that a magician took us for fools.

How did you find out?

That's not the question. The question
is why haven't they found out?

Lots of people know this, Major.

No, don't pick up.

Maybe it's the president, or the gringos.
They'll hang us by our balls.

With all due respect,
Major, we have to answer.

No! It's an order!

Up until now,
the authorities haven't spoken

about the veracity of the information

that Actualidad magazine
published online.

But it became known that Juan Morales...

ALIAS JUANQUINI "DISAPPEARED"

...also known as Juanquini,

was detained
and was going to be extradited.

According to the website,
he magically disappeared

when he was being transferred
to the military airport of Catam.

This is a developing story.

We will stay at the police station
waiting for any new information.

Now back to the studio.

That Lucho! That Lucho!

Sure, he couldn't stand me dumping him,
and told them everything to hurt me.

Mónica, he'd never do anything like that.

Then it was Faryala.

We have to sue him for damages.

What?

Fine, it was me! It was me!

It was either us or someone else. We had
to take advantage of the opportunity.

You don't know the deal I got, Mom.

What am I going to do
with you, Mónica? What?

Don't be mad.

I had to take the opportunity,
because this was going to be known and...

Which opportunity?

I'll explain something, don't be mad.

Nowadays, it's all about
intellectual property, you know?

People who have it and take advantage
of it have power and money.

Haven't you thought that your recklessness

might put your dad's life in danger?

No! On the contrary.

People will know everything,

and the authorities will
have to be careful with their procedures

and won't be able to do
whatever they want.

We're all winners here, Mom.

Especially you, Mónica. Especially you.

No, I'm willing to negotiate,
giving a percentage to the family.

God!

- Answer.
- Wait.

It's Father Núñez.

- Hello?
- Baby, it's me.

- Juan?
- What?

Where are you?

I'm at Father Núñez's church.

What are you doing over there?

I can't explain, but pay attention.

I need you to pack everything
you can and come here quickly.

I don't understand, Juan!

I escaped from Ñato.

I'm sure the first place
they'll search is at the house.

Please, leave that place immediately. Now!

Baby, I'll be waiting here.
Don't be late, please.

Hurry up!

I spoke to the person
who will welcome you.

They'll meet you at Choachí,
at the exit to Choachí.

And where is that? Is it a safe place?

Completely safe. The safest you can be.

Good. Where? Where is it?

In Choachí. My niece is there.

Okay. Great.

You don't have any siblings.
What niece? A sister?

All right. Stop right there.

- Okay.
- No, no.

A "niece."

- Is it useful or not?
- Yes, Father, of course.

Obviously, and I appreciate it.

It's just that I didn't know
you had a "niece."

Stop it.

Watch it. I wiped your snot,
don't question me.

Don't judge me
when you're the one messing with witches.

Don't disrespect me.
That was the last straw.

Jesus.

Mónica, have you called your brother?

I called him like 200 times.
He won't answer.

Just our luck!

What will we do?

Did you pack your bag?

Pack his. Here.

- But... Pack what?
- Have that.

Whatever. We have to go.
Do it while I keep calling him.

- Pick up, they keep calling.
- No, I don't care.

- Maybe it's urgent.
- No.

Nothing's more urgent than fixing us,
our world, our feelings.

No, what we had is gone.

No, don't say that, my muffin top.

You're the most important thing for me.
What? My mother? Right.

My mom is not important.

She knows everything.
Absolutely everything.

- Your mother found out?
- Yes.

And what did she say?

She didn't like it, but I don't care.

I don't care. My heart has a name.

It's called Estela. It's you.

- Come here, kiss me.
- How can she agree?

That woman always hated me.

Excuse me for my words.
She's your mom, and this will hurt,

but that woman was horrible in school.

She was the queen of bullying,
she partied, she was abusive,

a slacker in school.

She even dated professors
so she could get good grades.

And me? She made my life a living hell.

She traumatized me,
but I obviously got over it.

I'm sorry, my love. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Pick up! Just pick up.

Hello?

Samuel, where are you?
Why won't you answer?

I'm at school.

I'm doing homework.
I'm busy. Call me later.

It can't be later. We have to leave.

I need you to go to Father Núñez's.

Mom, I told you I'm busy.
I'll call you later.

It's a matter of life or death.

You're so dramatic. So dramatic. What?

Your dad showed up.

I can't tell you much.
Just go where I told you.

I'll see you there, okay?

- Come on.
- Mónica, hurry.

Let's go.

Go!

Come on, Mom.

- I can't.
- Let me, you're not okay.

Hurry.

- Ready?
- Fast. Go fast, honey!

Let's go! Hurry!

- Let's go, my seahorse. Come on.
- Wait!

- Are you insane?
- Let's go! No.

Insane about you. I'm crazy.

I won't leave without you.

Do you hear what you're saying?

- I have nothing to do with this.
- Yes.

I'm not involved in this.
Why should I hide with you?

It'll be a nice proof of love.

A way of evolving as a couple.

Can you imagine your mother's face
when she sees me with you?

I don't care about my mother's face.

I won't leave without you.

I don't care about my family.
You're my world.

This is serious.

If those people are really after you,

listen to your mom, go hide.
Who knows what could happen?

I'm willing to sacrifice if it's with you.

Don't you get it, Estela?

If you're not by my side,
life isn't worth living.

I'd rather drown and die.

How come they're not there? Look for them!

Yes, boss.

I don't want to worry you,
but no one's here.

You know what? Go to the hideout,
we'll talk later. Bye.

The magician's family also left.

That's not the worst. The news
of what happened with the magician leaked.

How come? Where?

On this magazine's website, see?

That's all I needed.

There's a commotion
about his disappearance.

There's more pressure to find him.

Catching him is a matter of honor
for the police now.

Damn it!

Did you call her?

Who? Her.

She sent me a message. You called on her.

I'm a magician.

It was hard to get what you asked for,
but here's what you need for school.

Thanks. Change of plans.

So, it was a waste of time and money?

- We have to leave now.
- Why?

The magician escaped from Heriberto.

Really?

- My husband just became paranoid.
- Of course.

I called and you didn't answer.

My cell phone battery is dead.

You have five minutes to pack.
We're leaving.

Heriberto is going crazy
because I didn't leave, I waited for you.

You're so nice.

Yes, thanks. Hurry.

Yes, thanks.

- Come on, hurry.
- Yes, sure.

- I waited so long for this.
- Me, too.

I swear on Juan Bosco that I'll never
leave you again. Never. I swear.

I love you with all my heart, Juan.

Where's my princess?

- Come here.
- Daddy.

It's so good to see you.
What did they do to you?

Where? Here? It's a war wound.

- Where's Samuel?
- Samuel...

When we spoke, he wasn't at home, but...

we said we'd meet here.
He'll be here shortly.

Okay.

- That must be Samuel.
- I'll get it.

- Okay.
- Thanks, Father.

Okay, let's calm down. Let's think.

- What do we do? You could turn yourself...
- No, I've been thinking.

I can't turn myself in
until I can prove I'm innocent,

or they'll send me,
they'll mail me to the US again.

I promised you I won't leave you again.

You.

Do you have a plan
to prove your innocence?

No.

But I'm good under pressure.

Hello!

Family, I think you know my lady, Estela.

How are you, Margot?

Captain González, hello.

Is it true you're paying for information
about that magician you lost?

It depends, do you know where he is?

It depends on what you're paying.

What are we waiting for, Juan?

A car that Father Núñez was going to get.

We can't ride the Juanquini-mobile
because they'll find us.

I'm completely sure
that not only Ñato Orduz,

but the whole police force
is looking for us everywhere.

Where will we go? Where?

Father said to go to Choachí,
he has a niece over there.

A niece?

Father Núñez doesn't have any siblings.
How does he have a niece?

No, don't ask. Just don't ask.

Is the world upside down
these days, or what?

Look at Sami. Look at Sami!

Honey, you know how the song goes.

Falling in love has no time,
date or calendar.

Yes, but that woman?

You'll have to get used to it.

Apparently, we'll have to live with her
for a long time.

My daughter-in-law, my enemy.

That's what I mean.

I need you to focus, man!

Come on, we have to make an arrest.

I'm doing my best, boss.

Stop crying for that woman.

But I love her, boss.

"But I love her, boss." Want me
to pull you down from your cloud?

Last night,
that woman was at my apartment.

She only wanted me to sacrifice her.

- Really?
- "Really?"

Don't be an asshole.

Stop crying over that traitor.

You're right. Thanks.

But I love her, boss.

Man. Man.

If the car's here, guess who's inside?

Yes, sir.

"Yes, sir"? Come on, man!
I need attitude, idiot!

Attitude, man. Who are we catching?

- The magician.
- Good, then, let's go inside.

Where are they?

You're too late, Captain.

Where are they?

I have no clue, Captain.

Perhaps they disappeared.

Holy Mary, Mother of God,

pray for us sinners,
now and at the hour...

Quiroz, come!

Text her to see where they are.

- Brigitte and Pelado are at the hideout?
- On their way.

Where are you exactly?

- And the witch?
- Mentalist.

It's the same thing.

- She's with them.
- Okay.

WE'RE ALMOST THERE

They're almost there.

Text her that I need coordinates.

"I need coordinates..."

Exact ones.

"...exact coordinates."

Please.

Who are you talking to, sugar?

My mom.

I'm telling her
I'll be gone for a few days.

Send my love to my mother-in-law, then.

Relax, just calm down.

Are you all okay?

Master, what a surprise!

Now what, Mr. Ñato? What do you want?

Please!

All your family is here.
Nice to meet you. It's my pleasure.

Look, we're all together,
as you wanted, magician!

Please, I'm begging you, Mr. Ñato.
I'm begging you.

Go your own way,
and let us go our own way.

I can't do that! I can't!

For safety reasons,
I need your cell phones.

Give me your cell phones!

The cell phones.

Let's get organized,
since we're all living together now.

- What? All together?
- All together.

Lady, I'll take you to a house
that is to die for!

- You're coming with me!
- No, if you...

Don't talk.

We ended up empty-handed, boss.

No Ñato.

No magician.

No Patty.

Beer?

Sure, but you have to pay.
I'm short on cash.

- Not short.
- No?

You're broke.