The Unremarkable Juanquini (2020–…): Season 1, Episode 3 - Extradition - full transcript

A NETFLIX ORIGINAL SERIES

No more complaining.
Go to school now, guys!

Come here, darling.

Why? I don't understand
why we have to go and waste our time

while this family is falling apart.

This family is not falling apart,
and going to school isn't a waste of time!

Bullshit.

Dad must think that we are all working
to collect the money for his defense.

Wait a minute, your dad will be happier
if you go to school and do your duties.

So, I'll stay and tidy this up,
but please go to school

- because I don't want...
- No!



No, come on! If not, you may not
be allowed to go in. Come on!

Take your bag.

Come on! Come on!

Bullshit.

Come on, guys.

Now what did they leave behind?

Please, guys, come on.

Mrs. Bocanegra.

Mr. Quiroz.

Good morning.

If you want,
I can order a coffee for you guys.

Quiroz is with the magician's wife.

Oh, my, that's so inconvenient.

Then you're right, Captain. Morales
isn't the "light being" he says he is.



What's that?

Oh, my!

- She's quite hot, isn't she?
- No.

Too skinny for my taste.

Please let me show you our facilities...

González, to my office.

Oh, my God.

Give me a break.

The bosses are fed up
of doing things nicely.

Where is Orduz?

Speak up, or I'll bash your face in.

I am the one who is fed up.

I've been too patient,
but you guys will make me get tough.

Leave me alone, or else...

I'll turn you into a frog.

Is that the scourer? I didn't know
that you were also in that business.

Yes, my daughter wants to start
a business to sell it in the US.

Very interesting.

Mr. Quiroz, can we get to the point
once and for all?

We really appreciate
what your husband did the day...

You know exactly
what your husband did and when.

We want to help and make sure you have
all you need while the case gets solved.

And by the way,
we are already working on that.

Really? In return for what?

It's simple.
We only need you to tell us exactly

where your husband sent
the great Ñato Orduz.

You know perfectly well
that we have no idea.

If you're so worried, tell the police
my husband had nothing to do with it.

The point is that
he actually had a lot to do with it.

Look, I'm trying to solve this
in the most civilized way.

But you are not giving me
any scope for action.

I wouldn't like to end up using...

more extreme methods...

in order to force your husband
to tell us exactly

what we need him to tell us.

Are you threatening me?

How dare you come and threaten me
in my own house?

Get out of here!
Or I'll beat you with a scourer!

UNKNOWN

Hello?

Mr. Lawyer Quiroz?

How are you?

Where are you, boss?

Help!

Hey, answer, it could be important!

Hello?

Change of plans.

Don't touch the magician.

I'm going to pass out.

Let me introduce you to the agent
sent by the US Department of State

to help us in the case of Ñato Orduz.

How is she going to help us?

Firstly, it is top priority
to prevent an information leak

about Capo's escape
thanks to a piñata magician's act,

which anyone would find
ridiculous and inconceivable.

Look, girl, things are not
as black and white as you say.

Then we'll need to write a report
explaining to the media what's happening.

A report which should not agree
with what has really happened.

Are we going to lie?

Secondly, the US government
has great doubts

about the abilities
of this country's policemen,

especially in this complex case.

I have already checked
all the documents, and to sum up,

the government intends
to take the magician to the US.

There, we would surely be able
to get information that you couldn't get.

So, they are going to extradite our man?

Give or take a few words,
yes, to extradite him.

Nice.

Very well, Miss Morales.

I loved your essay.

Thank you very much, miss, anytime.

Great job.

Of course, I assume
you did it on your own.

Of course, you said
it was an individual assignment. Right?

- Yes.
- Yes. Right, guys?

I know I said
it was an individual assignment.

So, as your essay is so good,

could you please answer a few questions?

- Sure, why not?
- Great, so,

for example, could you tell us

in which book by García Márquez
is Macondo mentioned for the first time?

Macondo?

Macondo.

Gabriel García Márquez.

Well, miss, I'll tell you the truth.

I didn't write that essay. I paid for it.

And I know you're wondering why,
so let me explain it to you.

Look, miss, today we have
a very important thing

called capitalism, do you get it?

And overproduction.

And today, we need to know very well
where we are in the pyramid.

Here at the top, it's me, Mónica.
You know why?

Because I'm a goods manufacturer
and a service consumer.

For example, that document you have
over there was a service I paid for.

Because it's useless for a businesswoman
like me to know about Márquez or Macondo.

You can't get any money from that.

Yes, very interesting theory.
I think Mr. Principal will also enjoy it.

But I was thinking

that you have not only paid for a service,

but also committed fraud.

And fraud in this school
is punished with expulsion.

What's up, Captain?

Isn't it difficult to forget those legs?

Oh, my, this Colombian
with a Japanese face.

She thinks working with gringos
makes her an American.

- I think she's pretty.
- No.

- You know what I can't stand?
- What?

These people come here boasting
as if we were slaves. They need a lesson.

And why not, boss?
Life is not all about work.

I won't waste my time on that.

So?

- Any news?
- Yes.

- The magician's wife is in the prison.
- Good.

- She should talk to me first.
- Yes, sir.

Perfect.

Too skinny.

- So?
- The principal suspended me for one week.

I don't understand why you said all that
if I wrote your assignment for free.

Well, for this one reason.

I want to be expelled from this prison.
You know my opinion about school.

Now that we do business with gringos,
why should I come to school?

To waste my time with literature?

Can you imagine your mom's reaction?
Prepare yourself for a sermon.

I don't care at all, you know.

And I haven't told you
that I spoke to the multinational.

And they told me they want to link us
to their office in Madrid

in order to internationalize our business.

- Madrid?
- Yes!

And I realized we can't continue
wasting time with Colombian businessmen.

It's time to think about foreigners.

Very well, dear, if you say so.

What is it?

Hello?

Yes, this is she. Why?

What?

- What happened?
- Okay, I'll be there.

What happened, dear?

My brother the psycho is also in trouble,
and I think he'll also get suspended.

Sorry, miss.

Wait for me!

How are you?

Fine, I'm fine.

I'm fine.

I brought you some things.

Look, some clothes.

And take this, so that
you can make some juice in the morning.

The Book of the Great Disappearances.
What happened?

What?

The Book of the Great Disappearances,
that's why I'm here!

Take the anti-stress balls.

Relax.

And look, St. Juan Bosco.

And the novena.

Father and teacher
of the world's magicians.

Thank you, my dear. Thank you.

How are you guys doing?

- Fine?
- Very well, yes, we're also very well.

The kids wanted to come,
but I said they'd better go to school.

Yes, that's much better.

No, we shouldn't cry.

My dear, we shouldn't cry.
Everything's going to be fine.

I'm innocent. Look at me.

Please, look at me. I'm innocent.
Justice must arrive, it must arrive!

I've been talking with Ñato's lawyer.

Okay, I can imagine what will happen.

Because he also talked with me.

But I've been thinking,

as long as they continue believing
that I know where their boss, Ñato, is,

they won't do anything to us.

We have another problem.

Which one?

Before coming here,
I talked with Captain González.

That asshole!

- He said something I didn't like.
- What did he say?

A policewoman from the US
arrived this morning.

They want to extradite you.

You destroyed all in me when you left
And you took all my hope in life

You condemned me to live in sorrow
And there are only memories left

And agony in my soul

What a pain

You left me in sorrow

So, my brother is pining after
old Miss Estela?

So it seems, my dear.

But that lady is an old woman.

Yes, but there is no...

Yes, it's awful, awful.

Slit my wrists
Nothing to lose

Estela

You destroyed

All in me

- I want a coffee.
- Yes.

González.

Good to see you guys.

I was told you were with the prisoner.

- Is there any problem?
- No, I see no problem.

What's the problem?

From now on, I would like you to inform me
of everything related to the case.

That's a problem.

You must be kidding.

- I want to talk with Morales.
- No.

No, we would need to get permission
from the district attorney's office.

Yes, bureaucracy.

Permission you don't even have,
because the office is not up-to-date.

Or am I wrong?

I will make this clear, Captain.

I am not here because I want to be.

I am here due to your ineptitude
to handle the case.

I know bureaucrat policemen,
stuck to their positions.

Like you two.

And believe me,
I am used to dealing with them.

And they don't keep me awake.

Well, it's not the first time
I worked with presumptuous policemen,

arrogant like you.

That doesn't keep me awake, either.

Well, good to know where we stand.

That will save us time and energy.

I'll talk with Morales.

- Do I follow you?
- No.

I need to speak with him alone.

Captain.

Captain.

What?

What happened to you?

You look as if you've seen a ghost.

No way.

I'm so fed up of that bag of bones.

- Coffee or what?
- Coffee.

The US government is prepared to give
you and your family new identities,

a comfortable life for you all.

The only thing I need

is any information
that could help me capture Ñato.

It's an offer I won't hold for long.

And keep this in mind.

Your extradition order
has already been applied for.

It will be ready within 24 hours.

You choose your way.

Sweetheart.

Let's think.

Hey, guys.

How are you, Mom? How's Dad?

Well, he's fine, but we need to talk.

What a coincidence,
because we also need to talk with you.

There is good news and bad news.
What would you like to hear first?

What happened?

Come on.

We got suspended from school.

- But...
- But that's bad news.

The good thing is,

I'll have more time to focus on business
and get the money for Dad's defense.

I agree with Moni.
And I'll have the perfect time to create,

time to provide for this family
thanks to my musical hits, Mom.

And I will have real time,

time to work through the pain
Estela left me in.

I have even spoken to Samu,

and I will help him with the production
of his songs, just like you wanted.

Okay.

You don't have the faintest idea
about the problems we are going through.

Don't you understand
how serious things are?

- But, Mom...
- No, don't "Mom" me, Mónica!

I really need you to forget
all these fantasies and start studying!

Tomorrow, I want to see
you get accepted again at school.

And pass your school year!

- But what about our business?
- Forget about that business and all that!

I need you to study,
and once I see you're doing well,

then we can talk about business.

No, Mom, I can't go back to school.
This pain is killing me. Estela is there.

You're such a brat, Samuel!

You can't always be doing anything
for everyone you meet.

And considering you don't give a shit
about what's happening to your dad,

you're more a problem than a solution,
from now on you'll do what I say!

Got it?

All this is on Agent Smith,
she wants you to be monitored 24/7.

And the worst part is that
you won't be able to leave your cell.

Those Americans are tough.

And not a bit tough, but really tough.

They want no surprises.

Like you disappearing,
let alone being taken up there.

And that place is not nice.
Not nice at all.

And in winter? In winter it's cold,

freezing, icy.

Look, if you were smart,

you clown,

you'd talk to me,

and tell me some things.

Here is much easier, I can guarantee it.

Up there,

you'll be confined to a two-by-two cell.

You know how often
you'll be able to see your family?

Never.

All right.

I'll leave you with this to reflect on.

Think about it.

Then you'll tell me about it.
Consider it, call me, and I'll come.

Put yourself on the right side
of the story, my friend.

Cold.

Freezing.

Icy.

Mom.

Can we talk?

What's happened now?

You're right,
and we're very ashamed of ourselves.

Come here.

Come here.

Forgive us.

You should forgive me.
I was so hard on you,

- but these days haven't been easy for me.
- We know that.

- Okay?
- I know.

Don't worry.

Friends again?

Friends again.

Always friends.

Are you going to let me continue
with my business?

- Mónica.
- Mónica!

You're planning all this
as a strategy for your business.

- You're driving me crazy. And you, too.
- No.

No, Mrs. Margot, I was kidding.

Oh, guys.

I need to talk to you guys, because
one reason why I was worried was...

it turns out..

that they want to extradite
your dad to the US.

Really?

No.

Yes.

We are looking at some options

that are being considered,

but he wants this to be a family decision.

No.

- Why?
- No.

My little children.

We have to remain strong, my children.
We have to remain strong.

Have you made a decision?

I won't be able to help you.

Neither you, the US government,
my government, nor anybody,

because as I said, I have nothing to do
with that man's disappearance.

- Nothing to do.
- Nothing to do.

And I told Captain González.

And I told the lawyer I hired,
who wanted me to plead guilty.

- And I told Ñato's lawyer, didn't I?
- Yes.

Because he wanted to set me free
at all costs.

- He wanted to set him free.
- He wanted to set me free.

And I'll tell you again,

I don't have
any useful information for you,

- because it was an accident.
- An accident.

I already spoke to my family and told them

that I won't be able to help you anymore,

because I don't know anything else.

Do whatever you must do.

Whatever you must do.

We can't let them take him.

They are violating our sovereignty.

They are ignoring our laws. That man
doesn't even have a lawsuit in Colombia.

The order is already signed
by the president, González, so accept it.

How ignorant of the president! He doesn't
give a shit about the Constitution.

The gringos went a bit radical about this.

Actually, they let their support
against drug trafficking

depend on our decision.

And I don't think
the Constitution will be of any help here.

I can't believe
that man is so important for Americans.

González, there are two options.

Either Morales, while abroad
and due to the pressures he may have,

or the offers he may get,

cracks and tells them
where Ñato Orduz is,

or the gringos realize that the guy

can actually make people disappear
with his powers,

which would be a very powerful weapon
for any government.

Or a third option:

the guy is telling the truth,
and he knows nothing.

Well, that being the case,
the guy is fucked.

So start accepting the facts,
because that's all we can do.

Excuse me, Major.

Oh, how shitty

Is this life

I really don't want to live anymore

Life sucks

What a nice song, Sami, I mean it.

It's a tribute to you, Dad.

It's the most beautiful thing
I've ever heard.

I love you very much, too.

Okay, let's stop the melodrama.
Nothing is going to happen to me.

Come here, my loves.

Come here. Come here.

Come here, Sami.

Someday, very soon,

we will be laughing at this moment.

Take care, please.

All of you, take care of each other.

And do as your mother says.

Be strong. Be strong at school.

Give me some good news when I come back.

- You're coming back?
- Of course.

Of course I'll come back.

I have St. Juan Bosco with me. Father
and teacher of the world's magicians.

I love you so much.

- I love you with all my heart, Juan.
- I know.

Justice will help us, you'll see.
And we'll be together very soon.

Come on.

Dad.

I'm very proud of you.

Agent Smith!

ARMY OF COLOMBIA

- This way.
- Come on, come on.

Subtitle translation by Claudia Massa