The Umbrella Academy (2019–…): Season 2, Episode 1 - Right Back Where We Started - full transcript

On April the 1st, 2019,

the Earth was destroyed
in a cataclysmic event.

Billions of people were wiped out
in a matter of minutes.

Ironically, the six survivors
of the apocalypse

were the very siblings who brought it on.

Hold on!

This could get messy!

- That was...
- Exhilarating.

Where's Five?

Huh?

Five!



Diego! Allison!

Where is everybody?

Oh, they're gone.

They're gone, like a fart in the wind.

Poof.

Just me and you again. Great.

I think the question is, "When are we?"

Hey! Hey! Excuse me.

Sorry to bother you.

Could you tell me what year this is,

or what day?

Rude.

Klaus! Get over here.

- Look.
- Yeah, I mean, he's pretty my type,



but I'd have to see him

- from the shoulders down.
- The date, you idiot.

Oh, yeah.

"February 11, 1960"?

1960.

Shit.

Diego!

Five?

Allison!

Allison!

- Allis...
- Allison!

Help! Someone help me!

Help! Somebody help me!

...and the glow from that fire
can truly light the world.

And so, my fellow Americans,

ask not what your country can do for you,

ask what you can do for your country.

Son of a biscuit.

Luther!

Diego!

"Soviets attack US"?

No, this can't be right.

Gonna get you out.
Keep your head down.

Medic! Medic!

Hey, kid, get down!

What the hell did we do now?

I heard a rumor that I blew your minds.

Five! You sick son of a bitch,
where the hell have you been?

If you wanna live, come with me.

Hazel. What the hell's going on here?

There's no time to explain.

Those are nukes, old-timer.

What about my family?

You can't save 'em if you're dead.

Okay...

what the hell was that?

The end of the world, November 25, 1963.

'63...

You know, Hazel, I'm no history buff,

but I don't recall there being
a nuclear holocaust.

No shit.

What about my family?

Dead, like everyone else.

- And where am I now?
- Dallas. Same street.

Ten days earlier.

Plenty of time to restore the timeline

- and save them.
- Okay.

- So where do we start?
- "We"? You're on your own, pal.

I'm just here to keep a promise to Agnes.

Is she...?

- Dead?
- Yeah.

Cancer.

Took her quick.

But we had 20 good years together.
I guess forever just wasn't in the cards.

I'm sorry, Hazel.

What about the Commission?

I quit those assholes, remember?
I don't owe 'em the fuzz off my peaches.

Well then, who the hell are those guys?

Shit.

Run!

How many times did I say
"bulletproof briefcases"?

What do you want?

Hi, I'm selling encyclopedias
for my youth group.

I was curious if...

How'd you do that?

Don't really have time to explain.

- You from the Pentagon? Huh?
- Definitely not.

CIA? FBI. KGB?

Is that fresh?

What...

Hmm. This Colombian?

It's my own blend.

You ever heard of, uh, Area 51?

Roswell?

Hot damn!

Whoo! See, I always knew
we weren't the only ones.

See, Eleanor thought
my head wasn't screwed on tight,

but... but it's all true, yeah?

UFOs, crop circles...

Well, the truth is out there.

No, no, no, no, no.
The... The truth, it's...

right here in front of us.

Tell me, wh...

why is it always an anal probe?

Any closer, and I'll melt your brain.

He needs a little space. Yes.
I'll be over here.

All those contraptions on the roof,
you built those, right?

Oh, yeah, yeah, sure did.

Yeah, I've been tracking anomalies
in... in the atmosphere.

- Just waiting.
- Waiting for what?

For you.

For all of you.

It all started in 1960,

the year the Silvertone Omega
was released.

I was in the middle of a sale

when something very... strange happened.

This here, the Silvertone Omega,
is one of our top sellers,

in true ColorVision.

Ha! Who knew that Lucy's hair was red?

Um, could you just... a moment?

- Diego! Allison!
- So, for the past three years,

I've witnessed five energy surges
in that alleyway out back.

Same thing every time.

A bright blue light,
then something appears.

- Did you get a good look at any of them?
- Yeah, the first one.

And then the big, sensitive one.

- "Sensitive"?
- Yeah, cried a lot,

kept coming back to the alley, sat around
for hours calling a woman's name. Uh...

Allison.

- Luther.
- Yeah, he... he wasn't the only one.

Uh, the others came too, off and on
over the years, looking for each other.

Eventually, they... they stopped.

So, my family is alive.

Shit.

I think I stranded them here.
Now listen to me...

Elliott. Elliott.
My name... My name's Elliott.

Whatever, all right?

I got ten days to find them
and save the world.

Now, I need your help to do that.

You need... my...

You know what? I, uh...

I always thought that this, uh, mugshot
looked like arrival number four.

Diego.

So then,

- that's helpful?
- You have no idea.

Arts and crafts hours
are 1:00 to 3:00 p.m. in the common area.

Pills will be distributed
prior to the start.

Thank you, Alan,
for bringing that to the group.

I think fear is something
we can all relate to.

Okay, who else would like to share?

Anyone?

Come on, who's next?

Diego, you've been awfully quiet
this morning.

Just taking it all in, Doc.

Letting all the healing shit wash over me.

Last week you mentioned your father,

how your whole childhood felt like
some kind of experiment.

- It was an experiment.
- Hmm.

- Or did it just feel like an experiment?
- No, it was literally an experiment.

Let's dig deeper.
You say your father is a villain.

- Hell, yeah.
- So you had to play hero

to make Daddy mad.

- I'm a grown-ass man, Dr. Moncton...
- Who still defines himself

in opposition to his father.

His dead father.

That isn't really defining yourself,
is it, Diego?

Yeah, why don't you tell that
to Luke Skywalker?

I know you don't get it,
but that is an excellent reference.

Humor is good,

truth is better.

Who is the real Diego?

I don't know.

I guess I've never known.

But I'm ready.

I'm ready to find out.

Thank you, Diego.

Okay, quiet time until lunch.

Let me see that.

You're so full of shit.

- Tears too much?
- He saw right through it.

- No, he totally ate that shit up.
- Bet you three lunch Jell-Os you're wrong.

- You're on.
- All right.

Dr. Moncton.

- Hey, you got a sec?
- Sure, Diego. What is it?

I've been, uh, doing a lot better lately,
haven't I?

True. You're calmer now, less combative.

It's nice to see you opening up in group.

So, uh, when do you think
I might be getting out of here?

Well, your review board
will reassess your case in 90 days.

Ninety days? No, I can't...
I can't wait that long.

Just take it one day at a time. Okay?

No, you don't... you don't understand.

They're going to kill the president
a week from today.

Diego, I thought we moved past this.

- You know what a hero complex is?
- Yeah. It's for assholes

- who think they're heroes...
- This paranoid fantasy

about President Kennedy
is what got you committed

- in the first place.
- They are going to kill him.

They're gonna shoot him in the head
right here in Dallas.

- All right? Understand?
- Let go!

- All right! I'm okay.
- Let go!

I'm sorry. Look, I'm okay.

I'm okay. I'm okay.

God, this is stupid.

- I can't.
- For you, maybe.

This'll cheer you up.

Bacon.

Smuggled it out of the lunchroom.
Do you want some?

No.

To be honest,
I was saving it for your great escape.

- What are you talking about?
- Just saying,

whatever it is you're planning,
I can be very resourceful.

Look, even if I was planning something,
and I am not,

you would be the last person
I would take.

It's because of the Jell-Os, right?
You can have them back.

No, it's not because of the Jell...

I'm a lone wolf. I don't run with a pack.

Perfect.

Because I'm somewhat
of a lone wolf myself.

Hargreeves, you have a visitor.

- Who?
- I ain't your secretary.

Maybe Daddy finally came to say,
"I love you."

Piss off.

- Five.
- Hey, Diego.

You look good in white.

About time you showed up.

- How'd you know I'd be back?
- Because that's the kind of shit you pull.

Where are the others?

They're not with you?

We'll find them.

- How long have you been here?
- Seventy-five days.

Landed in the alley behind

- Commerce and Knox.
- Commerce and Knox.

- You?
- I got here this morning.

How'd you find me?

Page 16.

"Disturbed man with multiple knives
arrested outside 1026 N. Beckley."

That's Lee Harvey Oswald's house.

Care to explain?

Let's just say

Dallas Law Enforcement
has not been supportive of my attempt

to stop the assassination of...

...John F. Kennedy.

- Because it hasn't happened yet.
- And it's not going to happen.

Not on my watch.

Look, I've been shaving down the bars
in my room.

Another day or two,
and I'll be out of this place,

then I'm gonna stop Oswald
and save the president.

You want in, say the word.

Listen to me very closely,
you gibbering moron.

You are not going to do a goddamn thing.

Why not?

- Because we have to stop the apocalypse.
- No shit.

But that doesn't happen
for another 60 years.

Not that apocalypse.

This is a new one.

It followed us.

I've seen it.

Nuclear war, Diego, in ten days.

And I'm the one they locked up, huh?

Fine, I'll play along.

What causes it?

I don't know.

Maybe some looney-tuned asshole
with a hero complex

tried to save the president
and screwed everything up.

So you're saying it worked?

I saved the president?

I knew I could do it.

Okay, okay, I'll help you.

- Thank God.
- After I save Kennedy.

And then you swing us back a few decades

so I can slit Hitler's throat off
with a butter knife.

This is why you don't have any friends.

You know what? Guard.

My brother is plotting an escape.

The bars of his room
have been shaved down.

- Piece of shit!
- No! Here... All right, asshole.

- Look, this is for your own good, Diego.
- No! Five!

- Listen, my brother is a very sick man.
- No, Five!

I only pray that he gets the help
he so desperately needs.

No, please! Not the needle! No!
No! No!

Be back for you later, okay? Just...

Well, nighty night.

Hey, I'm back.

Sorry I was gone for so long.

Did you and Vanya have fun today, Harlan?

We did.

We went down to visit the horses,

and we read James and the Giant Peach.

Any episodes?

No, ma'am.

How about you? How are you feeling?

Oh, my headaches are a lot better.

Still no memories.

Well then, we just need to get busy
making you some new ones, hmm?

I tell ya, Vanya,
I almost got the son of a bitch.

Carl, watch your language around Harlan.

Are you kidding, honey?

If that boy says "son of a bitch,"
I will buy him a BB gun.

Hell, he says any damn thing,
everybody gets a Cadillac.

See, the thing about sales
that people don't get

is the grit.

They think you just show up,
smile real wide, and boom, it's done.

Is that what people think, Carl?

Yes, it is.

But they don't get the art and science
of the thing.

It takes skills to get to that boom.

- Ah! Oh, it's the boom. Mmm.
- Yeah! The boom!

You get any calls yet?

I put another missing persons ad
in the paper.

Figure someone must be searching for ya.

Maybe I'm just not the kind of girl
you miss.

I doubt that very much.

I'm sure we'd miss you already.

Well...

- And where do you think you're going?
- The office.

I said I almost got 'em.

- I don't got 'em just yet.
- What time will you be home?

I don't know.

Depends how hard they make me work

to provide you with this wonderful life.

Fine. Just be quiet when you get back in.

- Don't want you to wake the boy.
- See you in the morning.

- Night, Vanya.
- Night, Carl.

Night, Harlan.

Now what?

Remember when I told you
the engine was overheating?

Yeah, well, being smart
doesn't make you interesting.

Neither does your beard.

You know, it would help if I knew
where we were going, Mysterio.

Back to Dallas.

That far? For how long?

- None of your beeswax.
- Really?

Think I'm just gonna keep following you
everywhere for another three years?

Yeah, you are my ghost bitch.

Remember?

No. We have to go back.
They need you in San Francisco.

They were so clingy.

- Okay, fine!
- Felt like my skin was on fire.

I need us in San Francisco.

I have unfinished business.

Oh. What're you gonna do?

Wear your little ghost power suit
and do some ghost phone calls

- and do some business? Aww!
- Forget it. Forget it.

No, come back.
You have unfinished business.

You don't even have a body without me.

You need me.

Nobody needs your shit, Klaus.

That's why you're always alone.

Eat shit, you shit-eater!

Get off!

Ow!

Aah!

Have you showered?

Ow! Ow! Ugh! Ow!

No!

You lost, boy?

- Thirsty, actually.
- Lord.

Whoo-hoo. Excusez-moi, garçon.

Yeah?

Any idea when the next bus to Dallas
is coming?

Sure do.

And?

Three o'clock sharp.

Tomorrow.

Well, that'll mean
plenty more bonding time for... Okay.

Hey, pretty boy.

- Do you mean me?
- Yeah, you.

You wanna play a little poker

while you wait?

You know what? I would be delighted.

If you keep undressing me with your eyes,

I'm gonna catch cold.

Watch your mouth.

Stupid's falling out.

Is something funny?

No, no, just thought of a little ditty
I'm working on.

"There once was a young Buck from Dallas

- who sported a miniature phallus..."
- Tell you what...

if you're so cocky...

what say we up the stakes?

All my money's already in the pot.

Throw in
that sissy-ass gold necklace then.

Clyde here can melt it down,

make me a belt buckle.

That would be one hell of a belt buckle.

He's bluffing, by the way.

He's got nothing.

Okay, I'll put in the sissy necklace

for the keys to your pickup.

Unless you're bluffing.

Deal.

Let's see it.

Full house.

- Kings over sevens.
- Oh.

Well, that...

that's not nothing.

Fair is fair. You win.

- And I gotta be on my way.
- You got sticky fingers.

And crazy IBS.
I mean, it's a miracle I'm sitting down...

All right.

- Ow!
- Give me my damn keys.

Showtime, Ben.

What in the hell?

Nah, I'm good.

You're so independent,
go fight your own battles.

You think you could pick a better time
to self-actualize?

- I bet you're loving this.
- I'm not hating it.

Shit, which one?

Get your ass back here! You little shit!

That's my truck!

Oh, shit.

Give me back my truck, asshole!

You little...

Shit!

Did you see the paper today?

Page one,

paragraph five,

line two:

"When asked about the Southern Justice
Coordinating Committee's upcoming threat

to demonstrate

during President Kennedy's visit
to Dallas,

White House press secretary
Pierre Salinger responded by saying..."

- What was that?
- We made the papers, baby!

And here's the best part.
You're gonna love this.

And I quote,
"As the president said earlier this year,

- the rights of every man are diminished..."
- "The rights of every man are diminished

when the rights of one man..."

Or woman, "...are threatened."

I bought the last three copies
this morning at Coleman's.

I am the luckiest man in Dallas.

- Is that right?
- That is right.

And you are the most beautiful thing
I have ever seen.

And the best part of my life.

What?

I just don't want you
to get your hopes up...

about Kennedy.

Change is comin', baby. I can feel it.

I can feel it.

Speaking of which...

A little pre-anniversary gift

for my beautiful wife.

I know I promised you the stars, but...

The moon.

I see you staring at it every night.

So now you can see it whenever you want.

Come on! You can finish him!

- Get him!
- Yeah!

Come on!

Oh!

Boo!

What are you doing?
The hell with you!

- Come on, man.
- Tough break!

Next fight! Yeah!

- Yeah!
- Yeah!

Bring the car around.

Next fight!

Attaboy.

All right.

All right. Quiet down, now, everyone!
Quiet down. Thank you.

All right, now, look,

I can appreciate that everyone
has concerns about this.

And the truth is,
we can go back and forth on it all night.

But we have to act.

- And the time is now.
- Where are we gonna do it?

Stadtler's on Commerce.

Okay, look, look, look...

if we start the sit-in on Sunday,

which is five days
before the president's visit,

we should attract
national media attention.

But it has to be
the right kind of attention.

I agree.

Look, there's no room for error here.
There is no room for images on the TV

of violence, aggression,
or even disrespect.

No matter what they do to us,
we have one rule:

honor and dignity at all times.

Now, look,
these details cannot leave this room

until we have finalized our plan.

All right?

- What should I do?
- Um...

- I'll handle it.
- Allison, wait.

Sorry...

we only cut women's hair here.

Black women's hair.

Funny then that your husband's inside.

Mr. Mason, can I help you?

Mind telling me
what you're doing here after hours?

Well,
this is my wife's place of employment,

and some nights we use it
as a community gathering spot.

Gathering? For what?

What business is that of yours?

I own the building across the way,
a few others nearby.

I like things quiet on my street.

But you don't own this building,
now, do you?

Not yet.

Well then, I'm gonna ask you
to step off the property.

Have a good night.

Did you just deliberately
shut this door on my foot, boy?

That's assault.

She ain't playin' around.

Don't mess with her. Damn.

I hope that felt good.

You have no idea.

So much for honor and dignity.

Him first.

Y'all can go on about your business now.

I can't sleep.
Is there any of that cake left?

Sissy...

are you smoking?

Want one?

Mama would die all over again
if she saw me right now.

Never would've guessed
you had such a rebellious side.

Men have sides.

Women have secrets.

And what are your secrets?

I have an escape plan.

What?

There is a coffee can

hidden under the kitchen sink.

Every penny I save
that Carl doesn't know about

- goes in there.
- Why?

So I can breathe.

Carl's a fine man, a good man, but...

good men still leave.

Or die.

Sooner or later,
every woman has to fend for herself.

How'd you two meet?

Because of a lie.

My sister told me

she wanted to go see a boy,
but really she was bringing me.

I was too shy for my own good back then.

Carl means well,

works hard, loves his boy.

But I had silly dreams back then.

What did you want to be?

A counter girl at Neiman Marcus.

Really?

Daddy took us there once a year

to buy perfume for Christmas.

It was magical.

Music, dresses, the smells.

All the ladies at the counters
looked like livin' dolls. Still do.

Could you ever imagine bein' that elegant?

Hey.

You're plenty elegant.

Little late for milk, don't you think?

- Ah, shit.
- Hargreeves.

- What are you doing out here?
- I'm sleepwalking.

Like to run your mouth, smart-ass?

It's gonna be hard after I break your jaw.

Lila?

You're not the only one
who wants out, wolf man!

Watch my shoulder.

- Who are those guys?
- No idea.

- What the hell are you stopping for?
- We need a distraction.

Follow me.

- Which way?
- Right.

- Why right?
- Why not?

Okay.

Thank God you're here.

Three men just tried to attack us.

Get your hands up, now.

Wait, you don't understand.
We're not the bad guys.

Shut your mouth and stay on the ground.

Where'd you learn how to fight like that?

My mother.

Hi, Luther.

Hey, Autumn. How's business?

Still waiting for the big tippers
to show up.

Who's the half-wit bothering Mr. Ruby?

No idea,

but he's been putting away vodka gimlets
like they're gonna run out of limes.

Oh, yeah? He give you any trouble?

Not yet.

We should do business, Jack.

- But he's getting there.
- I can get you a deal

- on good showerheads.
- You guys want some more?

We okay here?

I'm more worried about the kid.

What kid?

By the stage.

I told him we don't allow minors.

Oh, yeah?

And what'd he say?

He asked what time I was getting off work.

She's too young for you.

Nice to see you too, Luther.

What do you want?

For you to stop hovering
like an ambitious stripper

and sit down with me.

How long have you been here?

A year, thanks to you.

I'm sorry, Luther.
I know that couldn't have been easy.

I thought everybody was dead.

Come on, Jack! Don't make me beg!

- Just back off.
- I gotta go.

Luther, wait.

Look, I get it, okay?

I know what it's like
to be stuck in time...

Thinking this is how you're gonna
live out the rest of your life.

On the run,

and not knowing if you're ever gonna see
the people you love again,

and to be in an unfamiliar world.

But Luther, you're not alone.

We have to find the others

because the world ends again in ten days.

I have no idea how to stop it.

I don't give a shit.