The Twilight Zone (1959–1964): Season 5, Episode 4 - A Kind of a Stopwatch - full transcript
A man is given a stopwatch that halts time.
( eerie music playing)
YOU UNLOCK THIS DOOR
WITH THE KEY OF IMAGINATION.
BEYOND IT IS
ANOTHER DIMENSION...
A DIMENSION OF
SOUND... ( glass shattering)
A DIMENSION OF SIGHT...
A DIMENSION OF MIND.
YOU'RE MOVING INTO A LAND OF
BOTH SHADOW AND SUBSTANCE,
OF THINGS AND IDEAS.
YOU'VE JUST CROSSED
OVER INTO THE TWILIGHT ZONE.
YOU THINK ABOUT THAT NOW.
YOU CANNOT RUN A BUSINESS
BY STANDING STILL IN A RUT.
A BUSINESS HAS GOT TO PROGRESS.
YOU GOT TO KEEP PUSHING
AND PUNCHING AND PRODDING
UNTIL IT GETS DIVERSIFIED.
THAT'S THE WORD, THAT'S THE KEY.
Man: COFFEE TIME.
A BUSINESS MUST BE DIVERSIFIED.
I WAS JUST TELLING THEM, FRED.
YOU CANNOT RUN A BUSINESS
BY STANDING STILL IN A RUT.
JUST AS VARIETY
IS THE SPICE OF LIFE,
DIVERSIFICATION IS THE
KEY TO SUCCESS IN BUSINESS.
NOW, YOU THINK ABOUT THAT NOW.
WELL, I GOT COFFEE WITH CREAM,
CREAM AND SUGAR,
SUGAR BY ITSELF,
CREAM BY ITSELF AND PLAIN BLACK,
SO I'M ALREADY DIVERSIFIED.
NOW WOULD YOU PLEASE
GET OUT OF THE WAY, McNULTY?
Woman: McNULTY.
McNULTY HERE.
MR. COOPER WOULD
LIKE TO SEE YOU.
HEAR THAT? DID YOU HEAR THAT?
MR. COOPER WOULD
LIKE TO SEE McNULTY.
AND DO YOU KNOW WHY MR. COOPER
WOULD LIKE TO SEE McNULTY?
BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN
FEEDING SUGGESTIONS
INTO THAT SUGGESTION
BOX FOR 11 MONTHS NOW.
DID I SAY SUGGESTIONS?
WRONG WORD.
SUGGESTIONS, ANY CLOD CAN MAKE.
BUT DYNAMIC BLUEPRINTS
FOR THE FUTURE,
ONLY McNULTY CAN MAKE.
YOU THINK ABOUT THAT NOW.
HE'S WAITING, McNULTY.
11 MONTHS OF SUGGESTIONS
ABOUT TO PAY OFF.
SAY, YOU WOULDN'T BE INTERESTED
IN HAVING DINNER, WOULD YOU?
IF I WAS STARVING TO DEATH
AND YOU WERE THE
LAST MAN ON EARTH
AND IT MEANT MY
SURVIVAL, I MIGHT BE,
BUT I'M NOT, YOU'RE NOT,
AND IT DOESN'T,
SO DRIFT, McNULTY.
SUBMITTED FOR YOUR APPROVAL
OR AT LEAST YOUR ANALYSIS:
ONE PATRICK THOMAS McNULTY,
WHO AT AGE 41 IS THE
BIGGEST BORE ON EARTH.
HE HOLDS A TEN-YEAR RECORD
FOR THE MOST MEANINGLESS WORDS
SPEWED OUT DURING
A COFFEE BREAK.
AND IT'S VERY LIKELY
THAT, AS OF THIS MOMENT,
HE WOULD HAVE GONE THROUGH
LIFE IN PRECISELY THIS MANNER,
A DULL, ARGUMENTATIVE BIGMOUTH
WHO SETS BACK THE ART OF
CONVERSATION A THOUSAND YEARS.
I SAY HE VERY LIKELY WOULD HAVE,
EXCEPT FOR SOMETHING
THAT WILL SOON HAPPEN TO HIM,
SOMETHING THAT WILL CONSIDERABLY
ALTER HIS EXISTENCE... AND OURS.
NOW, YOU THINK ABOUT THAT NOW,
BECAUSE THIS IS
THE TWILIGHT ZONE.
MR. McNULTY, DO YOU
KNOW WHAT I'VE BEEN DOING?
YES, SIR, MR. COOPER,
YOU'VE BEEN GOING
THROUGH THE SUGGESTION BOX.
I KNEW YOU WOULD.
I'VE BEEN EXPECTING IT.
IT TAKES A SPECIAL KIND
OF EMPLOYER TO REALIZE
THAT ONE OF HIS MEN HAS GOT IT.
OBVIOUSLY McNULTY HAS GOT IT.
TRUER WORDS,
MR. McNULTY, HAVE PROBABLY
NEVER BEEN SPOKEN
HERE OR ELSEWHERE.
THANK YOU, SIR.
YES, I'VE JUST GONE
THROUGH THE RESIDUE
OF THE SUGGESTION BOX
COVERING THE PAST
THREE-MONTH PERIOD.
AND HERE IS ONE OF
YOUR SUGGESTIONS
DATED MARCH 13th.
"MAKE HOT DOGS
FLAT SO THAT THEY CAN
FIT EASILY INTO A
HAMBURGER BUN."
HOW ABOUT THAT?
YOU THINK ABOUT THAT NOW.
"MAKE TIN CANS SQUARE
"SO THEY CAN BE STACKED TOGETHER
MORE EASILY IN GARBAGE CANS."
ISN'T THAT A GAS?
"PUT SMALL PONTOONS
IN SOLDIERS' FIELD PACKS
"SO THAT WHEN THEY CROSS RIVERS
THEY CAN GET ACROSS
BY THEMSELVES."
THAT ONE IS WORTH
A MILLION BUCKS.
THE SOLDIERS GO
INTO THE WATER...
MR. McNULTY, COOPER
CORPORATION MAKES
LADIES FOUNDATION GARMENTS.
IT DOESN'T HAVE ANYTHING TO
DO WITH HAMBURGERS, HOT DOGS,
TIN CANS OR NATIONAL DEFENSE.
AND NOT ONE OF YOUR
340 SUGGESTIONS...
I REPEAT, NOT ONE OF THEM...
HAS ANYTHING REMOTELY TO DO
WITH THIS COMPANY'S PRODUCT.
EXACTLY WHY I WANT TO
TALK TO YOU, MR. COOPER.
THE KEY TO A SUCCESSFUL,
MODERN BUSINESS IS DIVERSIFICATION.
YOU THINK ABOUT THAT NOW.
I HAVE THOUGHT
ABOUT IT... YOU'RE FIRED!
( baseball game playing on TV)
BASEBALL? BASEBALL IS NOTHING.
SOCCER IS THE FASTEST
SPORT IN THE WORLD.
IN BASEBALL, THEY CHANGE SIDES,
BACK AND FORTH,
INNING AFTER INNING.
THE WHOLE FIRST PERIOD IN
SOCCER, THEY RUN, RUN, RUN.
ENGLAND, FRANCE,
SPAIN, SOUTH AMERICA.
SOCCER IS THE FASTEST
SPORT IN THE WORLD.
YOU THINK ABOUT THAT NOW.
HEY, JOE, YOU KNOW
THOSE SWINGING DOORS
THEY GOT IN WESTERN SALOONS...
WHY DON'T YOU PUT THEM IN HERE
AND THEN YOU CAN CALL THIS
PALUCCI'S WESTERN SALOON.
HOW ABOUT THAT?
YEAH, HOW ABOUT THAT?
I'LL HAVE IT DONE
IN THE MORNING.
GREAT! WHEN I COME IN
I CAN THINK, "I DID THIS."
HOW ABOUT THAT NOW?
PLEASE, THE BALL GAME.
HOME-RUN HITTERS MEAN NOTHING.
COME ON, FELLA.
WE'RE TRYING TO WATCH.
AS TO THE AVERAGE
LONG-BALL HITTER
COMPARED TO A
CONSISTENT CLUTCH HITTER
WITH A GOOD AVERAGE,
I'LL TAKE THE LATTER EVERY TIME.
WELL, THAT'S VERY NICE OF YOU.
WELL, IT'S A FACT.
IT'S AN ABSOLUTE FACT.
OH, BOY, HERE WE GO AGAIN.
AT NO TIME HAS A HOME-RUN HITTER
LED THE LEAGUE IN BATTING.
YEAH?
TED WILLIAMS WON THE
BATTING CHAMPIONSHIP
AND LED THE LEAGUE IN
HOME RUNS IN 1941, '42 AND '47.
EXCEPTION TO THE RULE.
THINK ABOUT THAT.
THE EXCEPTION TO THE RULE.
YOU KNOW SOMETHING.
THERE'S A TEN-INCH
TELEVISION SET
IN MY SISTER'S APARTMENT,
KIND THAT DATES BACK TO 1948.
SHE'S GOT FIVE KIDS.
THE APARTMENT'S A
SIX-FLOOR WALKUP,
AND IT'S BOILING HOT.
BUT I'LL TELL YOU...
THERE'S ONE THING THAT
APARTMENT DON'T HAVE
THAT MAKES IT ALL WORTHWHILE.
IT DON'T HAVE McNULTY.
CHARLIE, CHARLIE,
WAIT. FORGET IT, JOE.
SHUT IT OFF. BLABBERMOUTH...
I CAN'T TAKE IT.
AH, YOU THINK ABOUT.
HEAR WHAT I SAID?
THE EXCEPTION TO THE RULE.
THE EXCEPTION TO THE RULE.
( turns off TV) LET ME ASK
YOU SOMETHING, McNULTY.
HOW COME YOU'RE
IN HERE SO EARLY?
YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR
THREE AND A HALF HOURS.
IT SO HAPPENS I QUIT MY JOB.
I WENT INTO COOPER'S
OFFICE AND I READ HIM OFF.
DON'T TELL ME.
YOU GOT CANNED.
WELL, IN A MANNER OF SPEAKING.
YOU MIGHT SAY... YEAH.
WE MUTUALLY AGREED
I WOULDN'T WORK THERE ANYMORE.
JOE, TELL ME SOMETHING.
WOULDN'T YOU THINK
THAT AFTER ONE YEAR
OF PUTTING IDEAS IN
THAT SUGGESTION BOX,
AFTER ONE WHOLE YEAR,
THAT I'D GET NOTICED?
LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING.
GETTING NOTICED
AND GETTING LIKED
ARE TWO DIFFERENT THINGS.
WHAT DO YOU KNOW?
NOTHING, McNULTY.
NOT A THING.
GOOD NIGHT, JOE.
WAIT A MINUTE.
ALL I KNOW IS
THAT EVERY NIGHT OF
EVERY WEEK OF EVERY MONTH,
EXCEPT ELECTION
DAY, YOU COME IN HERE
DRIVE EVERYBODY
OUT OF THEIR SKULL
WALKING ON YOUR LOWER LIP.
NOW, YOU THINK ABOUT THAT.
WILL YOU THINK ABOUT THAT?
WHAT DO YOU SAY?
I SAY... "54, 40 OR FIGHT."
I ALSO SAY "DAMN THE
TORPEDOES, FULL SPEED AHEAD!"
AND ON OCCASION, I WILL SAY,
"IT TAKES A HEAP OF LIVING
TO MAKE A HOUSE A HOME."
WANT ANOTHER BEER?
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
I WOULD APPRECIATE ANOTHER.
TWO MORE BEERS, BARTENDER.
TWO BEERS, BIG DEAL.
WHAT'S YOUR NAME?
POTTS.
THAT'S NOT A BAD NAME.
I WAS BORN WITH IT.
SEEMS TO ME THERE
WAS A THIRD BASEMAN
WHO USED TO PLAY FOR
THE PHILLIES NAMED POTTS.
LOU POTTS? PHIL POTTS?
IT COULDN'T BE BOTTS?
NO, IT'S POTTS.
TWO BEERS.
YOU PAYING FOR THIS, McNULTY?
BECAUSE THIS GUY JUST
GAVE ME HIS LAST DIME.
THIS GUY IS MY
FRIEND, MR. BOTTS.
POTTS!
AND I'D APPRECIATE
A LITTLE RESPECT FROM YOU.
I BET YOU WOULD.
YOU GETTING RESPECT FROM ME
IS ABOUT AS EASY AS
FLAGGING DOWN A CAB
ON 46th AND BROADWAY
AT 8:00 ON NEW YEAR'S EVE...
IN THE RAIN.
NEVER MIND... DRINK UP, PAL.
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT?
WANT TO TALK ABOUT BASEBALL?
IT'S THE GREAT AMERICAN SPORT,
AND I AM VERY HAPPY ABNER
DOUBLEDAY SAW FIT TO INVENT IT.
CHEERS!
TO HEALTH, FRIEND.
DOWN THE HATCH.
AND NOW TO THANK YOU
FOR YOUR GENEROSITY,
I HAVE SOMETHING FOR YOU.
IT'S A GIFT.
A SMALL REMEMBRANCE
OF OUR FRIENDSHIP.
WHAT IS IT?
IT'S A STOPWATCH... A
OLD FAMILY HEIRLOOM.
WHAT DO YOU DO WITH IT?
I MEAN, IT DOESN'T KEEP TIME.
IT'S JUST A STOPWATCH.
THAT IS A FACT.
BUT IT IS YOURS.
YOU MAY HAVE IT.
WHAT'LL I DO WITH IT? STOPWATCH.
WELL, SOMEDAY YOU
MIGHT OWN A RACEHORSE
OR YOU MIGHT WANT
TO RUN THE MILE
OR LAUNCH AN ASTRONAUT.
WELL, GOOD-BYE, OLD PAL.
OH... E PLURIBUS UNUM.
TOODLE-OO, BEERTENDER.
BEERTENDER... NICE CLIENTELE.
YOUR FRIEND.
I WOULDN'T LISTEN TO MY MOTHER.
SHE WANTED ME TO BE A DOCTOR.
NO, I HAD TO BE A WISEGUY.
HAD TO RUN A BEER
JOINT LIKE THIS.
WELL, YOU LIVE AND YOU LEARN.
DONE FOR THE NIGHT, McNULTY?
EVERYBODY'S GONE, YOU HAPPY?
YOU BORED TEN PEOPLE TO DEATH.
YOU EMPTIED MY PLACE
LIKE IT HAD A SMALLPOX
SIGN OUT THERE.
DO ME A FAVOR...
WHENEVER YOU GET THE
THIRST, GO TO SOME OTHER BAR.
I DON'T FEEL MUCH
LIKE GOING HOME.
I'VE SEEN THE MOVIE
ON THE LATE SHOW.
I'VE EVEN SEEN THE MOVIE
ON THE LATE, LATE SHOW.
SOMETIMES I EVEN
WISH I WAS MARRIED.
DO YOU EVER GET THAT FEELING?
JOE?
JOE.
HEY, WHY YOU STANDING THAT WAY?
HEY, JOE, SAY SOMETHING.
YOU LOOK LIKE YOU WERE FROZEN.
I WAS TELLING YOU I WAS BORED
AND THIS CRAZY GLEEP
GAVE ME THIS WATCH
AND I PUSHED IT.
ANOTHER THING...
YOU MAKE ME NERVOUS.
FIRST, YOU BORE PEOPLE TO DEATH
AND THEN YOU MAKE ME NERVOUS.
I MAKE YOU NERVOUS?
YOU KNOW SOMETHING?
YOU'RE THE ONE GUY
THAT MAKES ME WISH
THEY NEVER REPEALED PROHIBITION.
SOMETHING TELLS ME THIS
IS A VERY UNUSUAL WATCH.
AND ANOTHER THING, McNULTY.
McNULTY?
I'M OVER HERE.
THAT CAN'T BE.
I HAD TOO MUCH TO DRINK.
I NEED SOME SLEEP.
IT CAN'T BE.
( alarm ringing)
( switch clicks)
♪ ♪
IT WORKS.
I PUSH THE BUTTON, I STOP THE
WATCH, AND I STOP THE WORLD.
( crowd cheering)
( cheering stops)
( cheering resumes)
( blowing whistle)
( whistle stops)
GOOD MORNING, WAGE SLAVES.
MAKE WAY FOR A FREE MAN.
GOOD MORNING, DOLL.
OH, WHAT'S THE SUGGESTION
THIS TIME, McNULTY?
IF YOU DON'T HAVE ONE,
I'VE GOT ONE FOR YOU.
WHY DON'T YOU JUMP OFF A BRIDGE?
HONEY DOLL, I HAVE A PRODUCT
THAT IS GOING TO PUT A
DENT IN YOUR EYEBALLS.
WHAT WOULD YOU
SAY TO A STOPWATCH
THAT, WHEN SOMEBODY PUSHES IT,
EVERYTHING STOPS IN MIDAIR, HMM?
WHY DON'T YOU RUN AWAY
AND GET LOST, McNULTY,
OR GET TO THE POINT.
I ALREADY HAVE.
LAST NIGHT, I'M IN
JOE PALUCCI'S BAR,
WE'RE SITTING AROUND
TALKING ABOUT THIS AND THAT,
WHEN THIS FUNNY GLEEP
GIVES ME THIS STOPWATCH.
WITHOUT THINKING, I
PUSH THIS BUTTON...
THIS ONE RIGHT HERE...
AND EVERYTHING STOPS
DEAD. EVERYTHING.
THINK ABOUT THAT NOW.
PALUCCI DROPS A GLASS,
THE GLASS HITS THE FLOOR,
BUT THE GLASS STOPS.
EVERYTHING STOPS.
PALUCCI STOPS, TRAINS,
SUBWAYS, GOLDFISH.
EVERYTHING STOPS.
THINK ABOUT THAT NOW, HM?
GOLDFISH, TOO, HUH?
THAT'S THE MOST AMAZING
THING I EVER HEARD.
NOW, GET OUT OF HERE, WILL YOU?
MM-MM. I CAME TO SEE COOPER.
IT IS TIME TO DIVERSIFY.
OH, NOW, JUST A MINUTE.
MR. COOPER'S IN CONFERENCE.
YOU'RE RIGHT... HE'S IN
CONFERENCE WITH McNULTY.
MR. COOPER, I'M SORRY, SIR.
I FIRED YOU, McNULTY.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
HE BARGED RIGHT IN.
I COULDN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT.
WELL, HE CAN BARGE RIGHT OUT.
LISTEN, COOP... COOP?!
YOU CAN'T AFFORD TO FIRE
ME THIS TIME BECAUSE THIS TIME
I'VE GOT MORE THAN
SUGGESTIONS, I'VE GOT THE GOODS.
YOU THINK ABOUT THIS NOW.
YOU FIGURE OUT HOW
THIS STOPWATCH WORKS,
AND YOU'VE GOT A MILLION BUCKS.
McNULTY, LET ME REMIND YOU...
WE MAKE LADIES FOUNDATION
GARMENTS, NOTHING ELSE.
NOW, DO YOU HEAR ME?
NOTHING ELSE.
SO I WILL GIVE YOU 15
SECONDS TO LEAVE THIS ROOM.
NOW, GET OUT.
HEY, FRED, CUP OF COFFEE
FOR THE LADY, I'M BUYING.
I'LL BUY MY OWN COFFEE.
IF YOU'RE NOT OUT OF THIS OFFICE
IN ONE MINUTE, I'LL
CALL THE POLICE.
IS THAT SO, HONEY BABY?
IT'LL TAKE MORE THAN THE POLICE.
YOU'LL NEED THE
ARMY AND THE NAVY.
HOW ABOUT THAT CRUMB?
HE DIDN'T EVEN LET ME SHOW HIM.
SO WHAT AM I WAITING FOR?
I'LL JUST SHOW HIM.
OPERATOR, GET ME...
KITCHIE-KITCHIE-COO.
KITCHIE-KITCHIE-COOPER.
IT'S GOOD FOR A LAUGH
BUT THERE MUST BE
SOMETHING ELSE I
CAN DO WITH THIS THING.
I'LL THINK ABOUT IT.
Woman: THE POLICE.
UH... NEVER MIND, OPERATOR.
HE'S GONE.
SO YOU TELL OUR
ADVERTISING AGENTS...
HEY, JOE. PALUCCI, ALL YOU GUYS.
HAVE I GOT SOMETHING
TO SHOW YOU.
WELL, THAT TAKES
CARE OF THE GAME.
THIS THING IS SO GREAT
YOU'RE NOT GOING TO BELIEVE IT.
McNULTY, MAKE IT QUICK, HUH?
OH, NOW, LISTEN, YOU
JUST PAY ATTENTION.
PAY ATTENTION.
WITH THIS LITTLE GIZMO,
I CAN STOP TRAINS,
TANKS, SUBWAYS, ANYTHING.
WHAT ABOUT YOUR MOUTH?
( laughs): FUNNY. FUNNY.
LISTEN, LAST NIGHT, I WAS
AT THE POLO GROUNDS.
AND RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE
OF RON HUNT'S SLIDE
INTO SECOND BASE,
I STOPPED THE GAME.
( all moaning) YEAH, I
STOPPED THE GAME.
I LEFT MY SEAT, I RAN
DOWN ON THE FIELD,
I GRABBED SECOND BASE,
AND I MOVED IT TEN FEET.
Joe: COME ON.
THEN I WENT BACK
UP INTO THE STANDS,
SAT DOWN AND STARTED
THE GAME AGAIN.
AND HUNT, INSTEAD OF BEING
OUT BY TEN FEET, WAS SAFE,
AND THE METS WENT
ON TO WIN THE GAME
BECAUSE SNIDER DOUBLED HIM HOME.
AND THAT'S NOT THE ONLY THING
I CAN STOP WITH THIS WATCH.
I CAN STOP ANYTHING... WATCH.
( sighs)
McNulty: WELL?
WELL, HOW ABOUT THAT NOW?
HOW ABOUT WHAT?
ARE YOU KIDDING?
DIDN'T YOU SEE WHAT I DID?
OH, COME ON, McNULTY,
OUT OF THE WAY.
I WANT TO GET HOME, GET
SOME PEACE AND QUIET.
WAIT A MINUTE.
FELLAS, FELLAS, WAIT A MINUTE.
I'LL PUT THE GAME ON AGAIN.
OH, NO...
WELL, YOU DONE
IT AGAIN, McNULTY.
YOU EMPTIED MY PLACE.
YOU DRIVE MORE
GUYS OUT OF SALOONS
THAN CARRY NATION.
I GET IT. I GET IT.
OF COURSE YOU GUYS DIDN'T
SEE... YOU WERE FROZEN.
I'M THE ONLY ONE WHO KNOWS.
I'M THE ONLY ONE.
HUH. HOW ABOUT THAT.
THE GREATEST CONVERSATION
PIECE IN THE WORLD... THE GREATEST...
AND WHAT DOES IT DO?
IT STOPS CONVERSATION.
I'M CLOSING UP IN A FEW MINUTES,
SO IT SHOULDN'T BE A TOTAL
LOSS, YOU BETTER ORDER UP.
BEER.
BEER!
DON'T YOU EVER ORDER
ANYTHING EXPENSIVE?
BEER.
AND DRINK IT FAST, WILL YOU?
'CAUSE THE COMBINATION
OF YOU, THE HOT WEATHER,
AND MY BUSINESS RECESSION
IS MORE THAN I CAN
TAKE IN ONE DAY.
GIVE IT TIME. GIVE IT TIME.
GIVE ME A HEART ATTACK
SOMETIME, WILL YOU, McNULTY?
LEAVE A TIP.
HEY, PALUCCI, COME HERE.
LOOK AT ME.
WHAT ARE YOU, SOME
KIND OF A SADIST?
YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE LOOKING AT?
A JERK, A NUT.
YOU WANT TO STOP
THERE OR TRY FOR MORON?
WHY DO I WANT THIS THING? WHY?
BECAUSE I WANT A LITTLE
NOTICE, THAT'S WHY.
I'M NOT ASHAMED TO ADMIT THAT.
AND I'LL TELL YOU
SOMETHING ELSE.
WHEN JOHN D. ROCKEFELLER
STEPS OUT OF A CAR,
WHY DO PEOPLE WANT
TO SHAKE HIS HAND?
I'LL BITE.
BECAUSE HE'S LOADED.
BECAUSE HE'S GOT CASH,
LOOT, LETTUCE, THE OLD MAZOO.
THAT'S WHY PEOPLE WANT TO
SHAKE JOHN D. ROCKEFELLER'S HAND.
J.B. MORGAN WALKS
INTO A RESTAURANT... J.P.
J.P. MORGAN WALKS
INTO A RESTAURANT,
THE HEAD WAITER BREAKS HIS BACK
TO GET A TABLE READY.
YOU KNOW WHY? I'LL TELL YOU WHY.
I FIGURED YOU WOULD.
BECAUSE HE'S LOADED, THAT'S WHY.
YOU THINK ABOUT THAT.
AND THEN YOU THINK ABOUT THIS.
AS OF TOMORROW EVENING,
McNULTY IS GOING TO BE LOADED.
PALUCCI, TAKE A GOOD LOOK
AT THE OLD McNULTY.
THE NEXT TIME YOU SEE ME,
IT'LL BE THE NEW McNULTY.
WHY DON'T YOU GO THE WHOLE ROUTE
AND MOVE TO HONOLULU?
TOMORROW I'LL BE
ABLE TO BUY HONOLULU!
♪ ♪
( grunts)
MAY I?
THANK YOU.
OH, NO.
COME ON, EVERYONE.
MOVE! MOVE!
COME ON, EVERYBODY.
UP, UP, MOVE!
DO SOMETHING.
COME ON, EVERYBODY,
SAY SOMETHING.
WALK, HEY!
COME ON, EVERYBODY, MOVE.
HEY, FELLAS, LOOK,
I DIDN'T MEAN IT.
I'LL HAVE IT FIXED.
OH, PLEASE, COME ON, WAKE UP.
MR. COOPER... MR. COOPER?
EXCUSE ME.
I'M SORRY.
I'M SORRY, I DIDN'T MEAN IT.
PLEASE, UNDERSTAND.
IT'S NOT MY FAULT.
I DIDN'T DO ANY... OH, NO!
PLEASE, SAY SOMETHING.
MOVE!
CHARLIE, I'M SORRY I BUGGED YOU.
CHARLIE, MOVE.
LADY... JOE... JOE?
JOE, SAY SOMETHING.
DO SOMETHING, MOVE.
JOE, INSULT ME.
I WON'T COME HERE ANYMORE.
I WON'T MAKE NOISE.
I WON'T DRIVE PEOPLE AWAY.
HONEST, JOE, MOVE.
OH, YOU, MISTER,
PLEASE, SAY SOMETHING.
I'M SORRY I TOOK THE MONEY.
I DON'T CARE ABOUT THE MONEY.
ALL I WANT IS TO HEAR
PEOPLE SAY SOMETHING AGAIN
AND TO SEE PEOPLE MOVING AGAIN.
OH, DOESN'T ANYBODY KNOW HOW
TO MAKE THIS THING WORK AGAIN?
SOMEONE, HELP!
HELP ME!
PLEASE, SOMEBODY MOVE!
TALK, SAY SOMETHING! HELP!
MR. PATRICK THOMAS McNULTY
WHO HAD A GIFT OF TIME.
HE USED IT AND HE MISUSED IT
AND NOW HE'S JUST
BEEN HANDED THE BILL.
TONIGHT'S TALE OF MOTION AND
McNULTY... IN THE TWILIGHT ZONE.
AND NOW MR. SERLING.
NEXT ON TWILIGHT ZONE A
GENTLEMAN OF MYRIAD TALENTS
AND A STORY WRITTEN
ESPECIALLY FOR HIM.
MR. MICKEY ROONEY APPEARS
IN "THE LAST NIGHT OF A JOCKEY."
HE PLAYS THE ROLE OF
A DIMINUTIVE LITTLE MAN
SCREAMING FOR HELP IN
THE BOTTOM OF A BARREL,
AND THE HELP HE RECEIVES
IS UNEXPECTED AND
QUITE INCREDIBLE.
ON THE TWILIGHT
ZONE, A CAST OF ONE...
MR. MICKEY ROONEY.
I HOPE YOU'LL BE
ABLE TO BE WITH US.
YOU UNLOCK THIS DOOR
WITH THE KEY OF IMAGINATION.
BEYOND IT IS
ANOTHER DIMENSION...
A DIMENSION OF
SOUND... ( glass shattering)
A DIMENSION OF SIGHT...
A DIMENSION OF MIND.
YOU'RE MOVING INTO A LAND OF
BOTH SHADOW AND SUBSTANCE,
OF THINGS AND IDEAS.
YOU'VE JUST CROSSED
OVER INTO THE TWILIGHT ZONE.
YOU THINK ABOUT THAT NOW.
YOU CANNOT RUN A BUSINESS
BY STANDING STILL IN A RUT.
A BUSINESS HAS GOT TO PROGRESS.
YOU GOT TO KEEP PUSHING
AND PUNCHING AND PRODDING
UNTIL IT GETS DIVERSIFIED.
THAT'S THE WORD, THAT'S THE KEY.
Man: COFFEE TIME.
A BUSINESS MUST BE DIVERSIFIED.
I WAS JUST TELLING THEM, FRED.
YOU CANNOT RUN A BUSINESS
BY STANDING STILL IN A RUT.
JUST AS VARIETY
IS THE SPICE OF LIFE,
DIVERSIFICATION IS THE
KEY TO SUCCESS IN BUSINESS.
NOW, YOU THINK ABOUT THAT NOW.
WELL, I GOT COFFEE WITH CREAM,
CREAM AND SUGAR,
SUGAR BY ITSELF,
CREAM BY ITSELF AND PLAIN BLACK,
SO I'M ALREADY DIVERSIFIED.
NOW WOULD YOU PLEASE
GET OUT OF THE WAY, McNULTY?
Woman: McNULTY.
McNULTY HERE.
MR. COOPER WOULD
LIKE TO SEE YOU.
HEAR THAT? DID YOU HEAR THAT?
MR. COOPER WOULD
LIKE TO SEE McNULTY.
AND DO YOU KNOW WHY MR. COOPER
WOULD LIKE TO SEE McNULTY?
BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN
FEEDING SUGGESTIONS
INTO THAT SUGGESTION
BOX FOR 11 MONTHS NOW.
DID I SAY SUGGESTIONS?
WRONG WORD.
SUGGESTIONS, ANY CLOD CAN MAKE.
BUT DYNAMIC BLUEPRINTS
FOR THE FUTURE,
ONLY McNULTY CAN MAKE.
YOU THINK ABOUT THAT NOW.
HE'S WAITING, McNULTY.
11 MONTHS OF SUGGESTIONS
ABOUT TO PAY OFF.
SAY, YOU WOULDN'T BE INTERESTED
IN HAVING DINNER, WOULD YOU?
IF I WAS STARVING TO DEATH
AND YOU WERE THE
LAST MAN ON EARTH
AND IT MEANT MY
SURVIVAL, I MIGHT BE,
BUT I'M NOT, YOU'RE NOT,
AND IT DOESN'T,
SO DRIFT, McNULTY.
SUBMITTED FOR YOUR APPROVAL
OR AT LEAST YOUR ANALYSIS:
ONE PATRICK THOMAS McNULTY,
WHO AT AGE 41 IS THE
BIGGEST BORE ON EARTH.
HE HOLDS A TEN-YEAR RECORD
FOR THE MOST MEANINGLESS WORDS
SPEWED OUT DURING
A COFFEE BREAK.
AND IT'S VERY LIKELY
THAT, AS OF THIS MOMENT,
HE WOULD HAVE GONE THROUGH
LIFE IN PRECISELY THIS MANNER,
A DULL, ARGUMENTATIVE BIGMOUTH
WHO SETS BACK THE ART OF
CONVERSATION A THOUSAND YEARS.
I SAY HE VERY LIKELY WOULD HAVE,
EXCEPT FOR SOMETHING
THAT WILL SOON HAPPEN TO HIM,
SOMETHING THAT WILL CONSIDERABLY
ALTER HIS EXISTENCE... AND OURS.
NOW, YOU THINK ABOUT THAT NOW,
BECAUSE THIS IS
THE TWILIGHT ZONE.
MR. McNULTY, DO YOU
KNOW WHAT I'VE BEEN DOING?
YES, SIR, MR. COOPER,
YOU'VE BEEN GOING
THROUGH THE SUGGESTION BOX.
I KNEW YOU WOULD.
I'VE BEEN EXPECTING IT.
IT TAKES A SPECIAL KIND
OF EMPLOYER TO REALIZE
THAT ONE OF HIS MEN HAS GOT IT.
OBVIOUSLY McNULTY HAS GOT IT.
TRUER WORDS,
MR. McNULTY, HAVE PROBABLY
NEVER BEEN SPOKEN
HERE OR ELSEWHERE.
THANK YOU, SIR.
YES, I'VE JUST GONE
THROUGH THE RESIDUE
OF THE SUGGESTION BOX
COVERING THE PAST
THREE-MONTH PERIOD.
AND HERE IS ONE OF
YOUR SUGGESTIONS
DATED MARCH 13th.
"MAKE HOT DOGS
FLAT SO THAT THEY CAN
FIT EASILY INTO A
HAMBURGER BUN."
HOW ABOUT THAT?
YOU THINK ABOUT THAT NOW.
"MAKE TIN CANS SQUARE
"SO THEY CAN BE STACKED TOGETHER
MORE EASILY IN GARBAGE CANS."
ISN'T THAT A GAS?
"PUT SMALL PONTOONS
IN SOLDIERS' FIELD PACKS
"SO THAT WHEN THEY CROSS RIVERS
THEY CAN GET ACROSS
BY THEMSELVES."
THAT ONE IS WORTH
A MILLION BUCKS.
THE SOLDIERS GO
INTO THE WATER...
MR. McNULTY, COOPER
CORPORATION MAKES
LADIES FOUNDATION GARMENTS.
IT DOESN'T HAVE ANYTHING TO
DO WITH HAMBURGERS, HOT DOGS,
TIN CANS OR NATIONAL DEFENSE.
AND NOT ONE OF YOUR
340 SUGGESTIONS...
I REPEAT, NOT ONE OF THEM...
HAS ANYTHING REMOTELY TO DO
WITH THIS COMPANY'S PRODUCT.
EXACTLY WHY I WANT TO
TALK TO YOU, MR. COOPER.
THE KEY TO A SUCCESSFUL,
MODERN BUSINESS IS DIVERSIFICATION.
YOU THINK ABOUT THAT NOW.
I HAVE THOUGHT
ABOUT IT... YOU'RE FIRED!
( baseball game playing on TV)
BASEBALL? BASEBALL IS NOTHING.
SOCCER IS THE FASTEST
SPORT IN THE WORLD.
IN BASEBALL, THEY CHANGE SIDES,
BACK AND FORTH,
INNING AFTER INNING.
THE WHOLE FIRST PERIOD IN
SOCCER, THEY RUN, RUN, RUN.
ENGLAND, FRANCE,
SPAIN, SOUTH AMERICA.
SOCCER IS THE FASTEST
SPORT IN THE WORLD.
YOU THINK ABOUT THAT NOW.
HEY, JOE, YOU KNOW
THOSE SWINGING DOORS
THEY GOT IN WESTERN SALOONS...
WHY DON'T YOU PUT THEM IN HERE
AND THEN YOU CAN CALL THIS
PALUCCI'S WESTERN SALOON.
HOW ABOUT THAT?
YEAH, HOW ABOUT THAT?
I'LL HAVE IT DONE
IN THE MORNING.
GREAT! WHEN I COME IN
I CAN THINK, "I DID THIS."
HOW ABOUT THAT NOW?
PLEASE, THE BALL GAME.
HOME-RUN HITTERS MEAN NOTHING.
COME ON, FELLA.
WE'RE TRYING TO WATCH.
AS TO THE AVERAGE
LONG-BALL HITTER
COMPARED TO A
CONSISTENT CLUTCH HITTER
WITH A GOOD AVERAGE,
I'LL TAKE THE LATTER EVERY TIME.
WELL, THAT'S VERY NICE OF YOU.
WELL, IT'S A FACT.
IT'S AN ABSOLUTE FACT.
OH, BOY, HERE WE GO AGAIN.
AT NO TIME HAS A HOME-RUN HITTER
LED THE LEAGUE IN BATTING.
YEAH?
TED WILLIAMS WON THE
BATTING CHAMPIONSHIP
AND LED THE LEAGUE IN
HOME RUNS IN 1941, '42 AND '47.
EXCEPTION TO THE RULE.
THINK ABOUT THAT.
THE EXCEPTION TO THE RULE.
YOU KNOW SOMETHING.
THERE'S A TEN-INCH
TELEVISION SET
IN MY SISTER'S APARTMENT,
KIND THAT DATES BACK TO 1948.
SHE'S GOT FIVE KIDS.
THE APARTMENT'S A
SIX-FLOOR WALKUP,
AND IT'S BOILING HOT.
BUT I'LL TELL YOU...
THERE'S ONE THING THAT
APARTMENT DON'T HAVE
THAT MAKES IT ALL WORTHWHILE.
IT DON'T HAVE McNULTY.
CHARLIE, CHARLIE,
WAIT. FORGET IT, JOE.
SHUT IT OFF. BLABBERMOUTH...
I CAN'T TAKE IT.
AH, YOU THINK ABOUT.
HEAR WHAT I SAID?
THE EXCEPTION TO THE RULE.
THE EXCEPTION TO THE RULE.
( turns off TV) LET ME ASK
YOU SOMETHING, McNULTY.
HOW COME YOU'RE
IN HERE SO EARLY?
YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR
THREE AND A HALF HOURS.
IT SO HAPPENS I QUIT MY JOB.
I WENT INTO COOPER'S
OFFICE AND I READ HIM OFF.
DON'T TELL ME.
YOU GOT CANNED.
WELL, IN A MANNER OF SPEAKING.
YOU MIGHT SAY... YEAH.
WE MUTUALLY AGREED
I WOULDN'T WORK THERE ANYMORE.
JOE, TELL ME SOMETHING.
WOULDN'T YOU THINK
THAT AFTER ONE YEAR
OF PUTTING IDEAS IN
THAT SUGGESTION BOX,
AFTER ONE WHOLE YEAR,
THAT I'D GET NOTICED?
LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING.
GETTING NOTICED
AND GETTING LIKED
ARE TWO DIFFERENT THINGS.
WHAT DO YOU KNOW?
NOTHING, McNULTY.
NOT A THING.
GOOD NIGHT, JOE.
WAIT A MINUTE.
ALL I KNOW IS
THAT EVERY NIGHT OF
EVERY WEEK OF EVERY MONTH,
EXCEPT ELECTION
DAY, YOU COME IN HERE
DRIVE EVERYBODY
OUT OF THEIR SKULL
WALKING ON YOUR LOWER LIP.
NOW, YOU THINK ABOUT THAT.
WILL YOU THINK ABOUT THAT?
WHAT DO YOU SAY?
I SAY... "54, 40 OR FIGHT."
I ALSO SAY "DAMN THE
TORPEDOES, FULL SPEED AHEAD!"
AND ON OCCASION, I WILL SAY,
"IT TAKES A HEAP OF LIVING
TO MAKE A HOUSE A HOME."
WANT ANOTHER BEER?
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
I WOULD APPRECIATE ANOTHER.
TWO MORE BEERS, BARTENDER.
TWO BEERS, BIG DEAL.
WHAT'S YOUR NAME?
POTTS.
THAT'S NOT A BAD NAME.
I WAS BORN WITH IT.
SEEMS TO ME THERE
WAS A THIRD BASEMAN
WHO USED TO PLAY FOR
THE PHILLIES NAMED POTTS.
LOU POTTS? PHIL POTTS?
IT COULDN'T BE BOTTS?
NO, IT'S POTTS.
TWO BEERS.
YOU PAYING FOR THIS, McNULTY?
BECAUSE THIS GUY JUST
GAVE ME HIS LAST DIME.
THIS GUY IS MY
FRIEND, MR. BOTTS.
POTTS!
AND I'D APPRECIATE
A LITTLE RESPECT FROM YOU.
I BET YOU WOULD.
YOU GETTING RESPECT FROM ME
IS ABOUT AS EASY AS
FLAGGING DOWN A CAB
ON 46th AND BROADWAY
AT 8:00 ON NEW YEAR'S EVE...
IN THE RAIN.
NEVER MIND... DRINK UP, PAL.
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT?
WANT TO TALK ABOUT BASEBALL?
IT'S THE GREAT AMERICAN SPORT,
AND I AM VERY HAPPY ABNER
DOUBLEDAY SAW FIT TO INVENT IT.
CHEERS!
TO HEALTH, FRIEND.
DOWN THE HATCH.
AND NOW TO THANK YOU
FOR YOUR GENEROSITY,
I HAVE SOMETHING FOR YOU.
IT'S A GIFT.
A SMALL REMEMBRANCE
OF OUR FRIENDSHIP.
WHAT IS IT?
IT'S A STOPWATCH... A
OLD FAMILY HEIRLOOM.
WHAT DO YOU DO WITH IT?
I MEAN, IT DOESN'T KEEP TIME.
IT'S JUST A STOPWATCH.
THAT IS A FACT.
BUT IT IS YOURS.
YOU MAY HAVE IT.
WHAT'LL I DO WITH IT? STOPWATCH.
WELL, SOMEDAY YOU
MIGHT OWN A RACEHORSE
OR YOU MIGHT WANT
TO RUN THE MILE
OR LAUNCH AN ASTRONAUT.
WELL, GOOD-BYE, OLD PAL.
OH... E PLURIBUS UNUM.
TOODLE-OO, BEERTENDER.
BEERTENDER... NICE CLIENTELE.
YOUR FRIEND.
I WOULDN'T LISTEN TO MY MOTHER.
SHE WANTED ME TO BE A DOCTOR.
NO, I HAD TO BE A WISEGUY.
HAD TO RUN A BEER
JOINT LIKE THIS.
WELL, YOU LIVE AND YOU LEARN.
DONE FOR THE NIGHT, McNULTY?
EVERYBODY'S GONE, YOU HAPPY?
YOU BORED TEN PEOPLE TO DEATH.
YOU EMPTIED MY PLACE
LIKE IT HAD A SMALLPOX
SIGN OUT THERE.
DO ME A FAVOR...
WHENEVER YOU GET THE
THIRST, GO TO SOME OTHER BAR.
I DON'T FEEL MUCH
LIKE GOING HOME.
I'VE SEEN THE MOVIE
ON THE LATE SHOW.
I'VE EVEN SEEN THE MOVIE
ON THE LATE, LATE SHOW.
SOMETIMES I EVEN
WISH I WAS MARRIED.
DO YOU EVER GET THAT FEELING?
JOE?
JOE.
HEY, WHY YOU STANDING THAT WAY?
HEY, JOE, SAY SOMETHING.
YOU LOOK LIKE YOU WERE FROZEN.
I WAS TELLING YOU I WAS BORED
AND THIS CRAZY GLEEP
GAVE ME THIS WATCH
AND I PUSHED IT.
ANOTHER THING...
YOU MAKE ME NERVOUS.
FIRST, YOU BORE PEOPLE TO DEATH
AND THEN YOU MAKE ME NERVOUS.
I MAKE YOU NERVOUS?
YOU KNOW SOMETHING?
YOU'RE THE ONE GUY
THAT MAKES ME WISH
THEY NEVER REPEALED PROHIBITION.
SOMETHING TELLS ME THIS
IS A VERY UNUSUAL WATCH.
AND ANOTHER THING, McNULTY.
McNULTY?
I'M OVER HERE.
THAT CAN'T BE.
I HAD TOO MUCH TO DRINK.
I NEED SOME SLEEP.
IT CAN'T BE.
( alarm ringing)
( switch clicks)
♪ ♪
IT WORKS.
I PUSH THE BUTTON, I STOP THE
WATCH, AND I STOP THE WORLD.
( crowd cheering)
( cheering stops)
( cheering resumes)
( blowing whistle)
( whistle stops)
GOOD MORNING, WAGE SLAVES.
MAKE WAY FOR A FREE MAN.
GOOD MORNING, DOLL.
OH, WHAT'S THE SUGGESTION
THIS TIME, McNULTY?
IF YOU DON'T HAVE ONE,
I'VE GOT ONE FOR YOU.
WHY DON'T YOU JUMP OFF A BRIDGE?
HONEY DOLL, I HAVE A PRODUCT
THAT IS GOING TO PUT A
DENT IN YOUR EYEBALLS.
WHAT WOULD YOU
SAY TO A STOPWATCH
THAT, WHEN SOMEBODY PUSHES IT,
EVERYTHING STOPS IN MIDAIR, HMM?
WHY DON'T YOU RUN AWAY
AND GET LOST, McNULTY,
OR GET TO THE POINT.
I ALREADY HAVE.
LAST NIGHT, I'M IN
JOE PALUCCI'S BAR,
WE'RE SITTING AROUND
TALKING ABOUT THIS AND THAT,
WHEN THIS FUNNY GLEEP
GIVES ME THIS STOPWATCH.
WITHOUT THINKING, I
PUSH THIS BUTTON...
THIS ONE RIGHT HERE...
AND EVERYTHING STOPS
DEAD. EVERYTHING.
THINK ABOUT THAT NOW.
PALUCCI DROPS A GLASS,
THE GLASS HITS THE FLOOR,
BUT THE GLASS STOPS.
EVERYTHING STOPS.
PALUCCI STOPS, TRAINS,
SUBWAYS, GOLDFISH.
EVERYTHING STOPS.
THINK ABOUT THAT NOW, HM?
GOLDFISH, TOO, HUH?
THAT'S THE MOST AMAZING
THING I EVER HEARD.
NOW, GET OUT OF HERE, WILL YOU?
MM-MM. I CAME TO SEE COOPER.
IT IS TIME TO DIVERSIFY.
OH, NOW, JUST A MINUTE.
MR. COOPER'S IN CONFERENCE.
YOU'RE RIGHT... HE'S IN
CONFERENCE WITH McNULTY.
MR. COOPER, I'M SORRY, SIR.
I FIRED YOU, McNULTY.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
HE BARGED RIGHT IN.
I COULDN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT.
WELL, HE CAN BARGE RIGHT OUT.
LISTEN, COOP... COOP?!
YOU CAN'T AFFORD TO FIRE
ME THIS TIME BECAUSE THIS TIME
I'VE GOT MORE THAN
SUGGESTIONS, I'VE GOT THE GOODS.
YOU THINK ABOUT THIS NOW.
YOU FIGURE OUT HOW
THIS STOPWATCH WORKS,
AND YOU'VE GOT A MILLION BUCKS.
McNULTY, LET ME REMIND YOU...
WE MAKE LADIES FOUNDATION
GARMENTS, NOTHING ELSE.
NOW, DO YOU HEAR ME?
NOTHING ELSE.
SO I WILL GIVE YOU 15
SECONDS TO LEAVE THIS ROOM.
NOW, GET OUT.
HEY, FRED, CUP OF COFFEE
FOR THE LADY, I'M BUYING.
I'LL BUY MY OWN COFFEE.
IF YOU'RE NOT OUT OF THIS OFFICE
IN ONE MINUTE, I'LL
CALL THE POLICE.
IS THAT SO, HONEY BABY?
IT'LL TAKE MORE THAN THE POLICE.
YOU'LL NEED THE
ARMY AND THE NAVY.
HOW ABOUT THAT CRUMB?
HE DIDN'T EVEN LET ME SHOW HIM.
SO WHAT AM I WAITING FOR?
I'LL JUST SHOW HIM.
OPERATOR, GET ME...
KITCHIE-KITCHIE-COO.
KITCHIE-KITCHIE-COOPER.
IT'S GOOD FOR A LAUGH
BUT THERE MUST BE
SOMETHING ELSE I
CAN DO WITH THIS THING.
I'LL THINK ABOUT IT.
Woman: THE POLICE.
UH... NEVER MIND, OPERATOR.
HE'S GONE.
SO YOU TELL OUR
ADVERTISING AGENTS...
HEY, JOE. PALUCCI, ALL YOU GUYS.
HAVE I GOT SOMETHING
TO SHOW YOU.
WELL, THAT TAKES
CARE OF THE GAME.
THIS THING IS SO GREAT
YOU'RE NOT GOING TO BELIEVE IT.
McNULTY, MAKE IT QUICK, HUH?
OH, NOW, LISTEN, YOU
JUST PAY ATTENTION.
PAY ATTENTION.
WITH THIS LITTLE GIZMO,
I CAN STOP TRAINS,
TANKS, SUBWAYS, ANYTHING.
WHAT ABOUT YOUR MOUTH?
( laughs): FUNNY. FUNNY.
LISTEN, LAST NIGHT, I WAS
AT THE POLO GROUNDS.
AND RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE
OF RON HUNT'S SLIDE
INTO SECOND BASE,
I STOPPED THE GAME.
( all moaning) YEAH, I
STOPPED THE GAME.
I LEFT MY SEAT, I RAN
DOWN ON THE FIELD,
I GRABBED SECOND BASE,
AND I MOVED IT TEN FEET.
Joe: COME ON.
THEN I WENT BACK
UP INTO THE STANDS,
SAT DOWN AND STARTED
THE GAME AGAIN.
AND HUNT, INSTEAD OF BEING
OUT BY TEN FEET, WAS SAFE,
AND THE METS WENT
ON TO WIN THE GAME
BECAUSE SNIDER DOUBLED HIM HOME.
AND THAT'S NOT THE ONLY THING
I CAN STOP WITH THIS WATCH.
I CAN STOP ANYTHING... WATCH.
( sighs)
McNulty: WELL?
WELL, HOW ABOUT THAT NOW?
HOW ABOUT WHAT?
ARE YOU KIDDING?
DIDN'T YOU SEE WHAT I DID?
OH, COME ON, McNULTY,
OUT OF THE WAY.
I WANT TO GET HOME, GET
SOME PEACE AND QUIET.
WAIT A MINUTE.
FELLAS, FELLAS, WAIT A MINUTE.
I'LL PUT THE GAME ON AGAIN.
OH, NO...
WELL, YOU DONE
IT AGAIN, McNULTY.
YOU EMPTIED MY PLACE.
YOU DRIVE MORE
GUYS OUT OF SALOONS
THAN CARRY NATION.
I GET IT. I GET IT.
OF COURSE YOU GUYS DIDN'T
SEE... YOU WERE FROZEN.
I'M THE ONLY ONE WHO KNOWS.
I'M THE ONLY ONE.
HUH. HOW ABOUT THAT.
THE GREATEST CONVERSATION
PIECE IN THE WORLD... THE GREATEST...
AND WHAT DOES IT DO?
IT STOPS CONVERSATION.
I'M CLOSING UP IN A FEW MINUTES,
SO IT SHOULDN'T BE A TOTAL
LOSS, YOU BETTER ORDER UP.
BEER.
BEER!
DON'T YOU EVER ORDER
ANYTHING EXPENSIVE?
BEER.
AND DRINK IT FAST, WILL YOU?
'CAUSE THE COMBINATION
OF YOU, THE HOT WEATHER,
AND MY BUSINESS RECESSION
IS MORE THAN I CAN
TAKE IN ONE DAY.
GIVE IT TIME. GIVE IT TIME.
GIVE ME A HEART ATTACK
SOMETIME, WILL YOU, McNULTY?
LEAVE A TIP.
HEY, PALUCCI, COME HERE.
LOOK AT ME.
WHAT ARE YOU, SOME
KIND OF A SADIST?
YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE LOOKING AT?
A JERK, A NUT.
YOU WANT TO STOP
THERE OR TRY FOR MORON?
WHY DO I WANT THIS THING? WHY?
BECAUSE I WANT A LITTLE
NOTICE, THAT'S WHY.
I'M NOT ASHAMED TO ADMIT THAT.
AND I'LL TELL YOU
SOMETHING ELSE.
WHEN JOHN D. ROCKEFELLER
STEPS OUT OF A CAR,
WHY DO PEOPLE WANT
TO SHAKE HIS HAND?
I'LL BITE.
BECAUSE HE'S LOADED.
BECAUSE HE'S GOT CASH,
LOOT, LETTUCE, THE OLD MAZOO.
THAT'S WHY PEOPLE WANT TO
SHAKE JOHN D. ROCKEFELLER'S HAND.
J.B. MORGAN WALKS
INTO A RESTAURANT... J.P.
J.P. MORGAN WALKS
INTO A RESTAURANT,
THE HEAD WAITER BREAKS HIS BACK
TO GET A TABLE READY.
YOU KNOW WHY? I'LL TELL YOU WHY.
I FIGURED YOU WOULD.
BECAUSE HE'S LOADED, THAT'S WHY.
YOU THINK ABOUT THAT.
AND THEN YOU THINK ABOUT THIS.
AS OF TOMORROW EVENING,
McNULTY IS GOING TO BE LOADED.
PALUCCI, TAKE A GOOD LOOK
AT THE OLD McNULTY.
THE NEXT TIME YOU SEE ME,
IT'LL BE THE NEW McNULTY.
WHY DON'T YOU GO THE WHOLE ROUTE
AND MOVE TO HONOLULU?
TOMORROW I'LL BE
ABLE TO BUY HONOLULU!
♪ ♪
( grunts)
MAY I?
THANK YOU.
OH, NO.
COME ON, EVERYONE.
MOVE! MOVE!
COME ON, EVERYBODY.
UP, UP, MOVE!
DO SOMETHING.
COME ON, EVERYBODY,
SAY SOMETHING.
WALK, HEY!
COME ON, EVERYBODY, MOVE.
HEY, FELLAS, LOOK,
I DIDN'T MEAN IT.
I'LL HAVE IT FIXED.
OH, PLEASE, COME ON, WAKE UP.
MR. COOPER... MR. COOPER?
EXCUSE ME.
I'M SORRY.
I'M SORRY, I DIDN'T MEAN IT.
PLEASE, UNDERSTAND.
IT'S NOT MY FAULT.
I DIDN'T DO ANY... OH, NO!
PLEASE, SAY SOMETHING.
MOVE!
CHARLIE, I'M SORRY I BUGGED YOU.
CHARLIE, MOVE.
LADY... JOE... JOE?
JOE, SAY SOMETHING.
DO SOMETHING, MOVE.
JOE, INSULT ME.
I WON'T COME HERE ANYMORE.
I WON'T MAKE NOISE.
I WON'T DRIVE PEOPLE AWAY.
HONEST, JOE, MOVE.
OH, YOU, MISTER,
PLEASE, SAY SOMETHING.
I'M SORRY I TOOK THE MONEY.
I DON'T CARE ABOUT THE MONEY.
ALL I WANT IS TO HEAR
PEOPLE SAY SOMETHING AGAIN
AND TO SEE PEOPLE MOVING AGAIN.
OH, DOESN'T ANYBODY KNOW HOW
TO MAKE THIS THING WORK AGAIN?
SOMEONE, HELP!
HELP ME!
PLEASE, SOMEBODY MOVE!
TALK, SAY SOMETHING! HELP!
MR. PATRICK THOMAS McNULTY
WHO HAD A GIFT OF TIME.
HE USED IT AND HE MISUSED IT
AND NOW HE'S JUST
BEEN HANDED THE BILL.
TONIGHT'S TALE OF MOTION AND
McNULTY... IN THE TWILIGHT ZONE.
AND NOW MR. SERLING.
NEXT ON TWILIGHT ZONE A
GENTLEMAN OF MYRIAD TALENTS
AND A STORY WRITTEN
ESPECIALLY FOR HIM.
MR. MICKEY ROONEY APPEARS
IN "THE LAST NIGHT OF A JOCKEY."
HE PLAYS THE ROLE OF
A DIMINUTIVE LITTLE MAN
SCREAMING FOR HELP IN
THE BOTTOM OF A BARREL,
AND THE HELP HE RECEIVES
IS UNEXPECTED AND
QUITE INCREDIBLE.
ON THE TWILIGHT
ZONE, A CAST OF ONE...
MR. MICKEY ROONEY.
I HOPE YOU'LL BE
ABLE TO BE WITH US.