The Twilight Zone (1959–1964): Season 5, Episode 30 - Stopover in a Quiet Town - full transcript
After drinking too much at a party, Bob and Millie Frazer awaken in a strange bed, in a strange house in a strange town. They're still dressed in the clothes they wore to the party but their memories are fuzzy. Bob was too drunk to drive so Millie was behind the wheel and she vaguely remembers a shadow falling over them. They soon realize that everything in the town is fake. The telephone in the house isn't wired; the drawers and cupboards in the kitchen are only a facade; even the trees are fake. The town is deserted and Millie begins to wonder if they're dead. They keep hearing a child laughing and begin a search. They're not prepared for what they encounter.
YOU UNLOCK THIS DOOR
WITH THE KEY OF IMAGINATION.
BEYOND IT IS
ANOTHER DIMENSION...
A DIMENSION OF SOUND,
A DIMENSION OF SIGHT,
A DIMENSION OF MIND.
YOU'RE MOVING INTO A LAND OF
BOTH SHADOW AND SUBSTANCE,
OF THINGS AND IDEAS.
YOU'VE JUST CROSSED
OVER INTO THE TWILIGHT ZONE.
REVEILLE, OLD TIGER.
COME ON, GET UP NOW, COME ON.
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
WELL, I KNEW YOU WERE
SWACKED, BUT REALLY.
OH, BOY.
I DIDN'T HAVE THAT
MUCH TO DRINK.
OH, HOO-HOO.
HEY, BOB, WHERE ARE WE?
I HAD HOPED WE
WERE IN THE BEDROOM
OF AN APARTMENT
ON WEST 12th STREET
IN NEW YORK CITY.
WELL, WE'RE NOT.
YEAH, HMM.
HMM, I DON'T GET IT.
ALL RIGHT.
WE WENT TO SLEEP AT HOME...
DIDN'T WE?
WELL, OF COURSE WE DID.
WELL.
REMEMBER, WE LEFT THE PARTY
UP IN BEDFORD VILLAGE.
AND YOU DROVE.
I HAD TO, REMEMBER?
YOU WERE, UH... SLEEPY.
LET'S SAY UNABLE TO DRIVE.
EVEN HAD THE TOP DOWN.
I THOUGHT THAT WOULD REVIVE YOU.
AND THEN SOMEWHERE
ABOVE RIVERDALE...
WELL, SOMEWHERE
ABOVE RIVERDALE... WHAT?
WAIT A MINUTE.
SOMETHING...
CAME DOWN ON THE
CAR FROM OVERHEAD.
A SHADOW.
AND THEN... THAT'S
ALL I REMEMBER.
YOU PROBABLY PLOWED
US INTO ANOTHER CAR.
I DID NOT PLOW US
INTO ANOTHER CAR.
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
LET'S JUST SAY, ANOTHER
CAR PLOWED INTO US?
WE WERE PROBABLY KNOCKED OUT.
NO.
YOU WERE ALREADY KNOCKED OUT.
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT,
JUST, UGH, OH, HONEY.
LOOK, IT'S PROB...
IT'S NO BIG DEAL.
SOMEBODY BROUGHT
US HERE, PUT US TO BED,
THERE'S PROBABLY BACON SIZZLING
AND SCRAMBLED EGGS
WAITING DOWNSTAIRS RIGHT NOW.
IN FACT, I THINK I
CAN SMELL IT NOW.
GOOD MORNING.
NO SCRAMBLED EGGS.
WELL, THEY MUST HAVE GONE OUT.
PROBABLY EXPECTED
US TO SLEEP FOR A WHILE.
WELL, THEY MUST BE
PRETTY CASUAL TYPES
TO JUST GO OFF AND LEAVE
US SLEEPING UP THERE.
I'M GOING TO FIND
OUT WHERE WE ARE.
OH, UH, INFORMATION... 411?
I DON'T KNOW.
JUST DIAL "O."
BOB!
BOB, WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "BOB"?
THE THING WASN'T WIRED IN.
YOU PULLED IT TOO HARD.
IT STILL HAS TO BE WIRED IN.
WELL, JUST PUT IT BACK, PLEASE.
Woman: GOT A PENCIL?
NO.
THERE MUST BE ONE
AROUND HERE SOMEWHERE.
MMM, SHE'S NOT A VERY
GOOD HOUSEKEEPER.
ALL THE DRAWERS STICK.
BOB, WOULD YOU HELP ME PLEASE?
THIS IS STAGE
BREAD, A... IT'S A PROP.
JUST EMPTY CARTONS.
WELL, IT'S A GOOD THING I
DON'T BELIEVE IN GHOSTS.
WELL, NEITHER DO I, BUT...
LET'S, UH, LET'S GET
OUT OF HERE ANYWAY.
BOB AND MILLIE FRASIER.
AVERAGE YOUNG NEW YORKERS
WHO ATTENDED A PARTY
IN THE COUNTRY LAST NIGHT
AND, ON THE WAY
HOME, TOOK A DETOUR.
MOST OF US ON
WAKING IN THE MORNING
KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE.
THE ROOSTER OR ALARM
CLOCK BRINGS US OUT OF SLEEP
INTO THE FAMILIAR SIGHTS,
SOUNDS, AROMAS OF HOME
AND THE COMFORT OF
A ROUTINE DAY AHEAD.
NOT SO WITH OUR YOUNG FRIENDS.
THIS WILL BE A DAY LIKE
NONE THEY'VE EVER SPENT.
AND THEY'LL SPEND IT
IN THE TWILIGHT ZONE.
MUST HAVE GONE.
WELL, WHAT DO WE DO NOW?
LET'S TRY ONE OF THE NEIGHBORS.
BOY, I WISH I COULD
REMEMBER HOW WE GOT HERE.
REMINDS ME OF THE
CONEY ISLAND SPOOK HOUSE.
DOES IT STRIKE YOU
THAT, UM, IT'S JUST
AS SPOOKY OUT HERE?
THERE'S NOT EVEN A BIRD SINGING.
MAYBE THEY'RE JUST
BEING CONSIDERATE
OF YOUR HANGOVER, DARLING.
STOP NEEDLING ME.
I'M NOT NEEDLING.
BUT IF YOU'D BEEN
SOBER ENOUGH TO DRIVE
MAYBE WE'D BE HOME NOW
INSTEAD OF WHEREVER THIS IS!
OH, HICKSVILLE.
BOY, I DON'T SEE
HOW THEY STAND IT
IN THIS SMALL BURG.
HMM, YOU MEAN ALL THESE PEOPLE
ARE JUST STANDING
AROUND STARING AT US, HUH?
WHY, WHERE, DO YOU SEE ANY?
NO, NOT A SOUL.
Bob: THAT'S THE WAY IT
IS IN THESE SMALL TOWNS.
THEY PEEK FROM BEHIND CURTAINS.
GIVE ME THE BIG CITY ANY DAY!
AT LEAST THERE YOU KNOW
WHEN YOU'RE BEING STARED AT.
OH, LOOK, THERE'S ONE CITIZEN
THAT MAKES NO
PRETENSE ABOUT STARING.
ISN'T HE CUTE?
ALL RIGHT, LOOK, COME ON, HONEY.
NO, NO, SHH, I THINK HE'S TAME.
OH, COME LOOK.
YEAH, YEAH, AH,
HE'S A REAL DOLL.
HEY, NICE BABY.
HEY, SWEETHEART.
I TOUCHED HIM AND
HE FELL OVER DEAD.
YEAH?
THIS THING'S BEEN
DEAD FOR YEARS.
STUFFED.
WHAT WOULD ANYBODY WANT
WITH A STUFFED SQUIRREL?
OH, MILL, DON'T ASK
ME TO FIGURE OUT
WHY ANYBODY DOES
ANYTHING IN THIS HICK TOWN.
SHH, THEY'LL HEAR YOU.
WHERE'RE YOU GOING?
FIRST, I'D LIKE TO FIND
OUT WHERE WE ARE.
SECOND, I'D LIKE
TO USE THEIR PHONE.
THIRD, I'D LIKE TO BEG, BUY,
BORROW OR STEAL AN ASPIRIN.
I JUST WANT TO GO HOME.
I WANT TO GO HOME!
IS THERE ANYBODY HERE?!
CAN ANYBODY HEAR US?!
PLEASE, WON'T SOMEBODY HELP US?!
PLEASE, SOMEBODY!
GOD, IT'S THAT KID AGAIN.
WELL, AT LEAST THE
TOWN'S NOT DESERTED.
YEAH, MAYBE THEY'RE
ALL IN ONE PLACE...
A, A TOWN MEETING, OR
SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
SURE, ON A SUNDAY MORNING.
YEAH, ESPECIALLY ON SUNDAY.
THAT'S WHERE THEY MUST BE!
THEY'RE IN CHURCH!
AH!
WAIT, WE JUST CAN'T WALK IN.
WATCH ME.
WHAT'LL YOU TELL THEM?
I'LL TELL THEM I'M TIRED
OF THEIR CREEPY TOWN
AND I'LL PAY ANYBODY
ANYTHING HE ASKS
TO GET US ON A TRAIN OR BUS
THAT'LL GET US
BACK TO CIVILIZATION.
MAYBE THEY'RE PRAYING.
MAYBE WE'D BETTER WAIT.
HERE'S THE CHURCH,
THERE'S THE STEEPLE,
OPEN THE DOOR...
NOBODY.
WHAT NOW?
AH.
THIS'LL BRING THEM.
LOOK OUTSIDE.
SEE IF ANYBODY'S COMING.
WHERE'D EVERYBODY GO?
THERE ISN'T ANYBODY.
JUST US.
OH, COME ON.
THERE ISN'T A PERSON
OR A THING ALIVE IN THIS TOWN.
AND YET... WHAT?
WE'RE BEING WATCHED.
NO.
NOW YOU'RE GETTING DELUSIONS.
WAS THAT A DELUSION?
I'M GOING TO FIND THAT KID.
HEY, KID.
COME ON OUT.
WE WANT TO TALK TO YOU.
WHERE ARE YOU?
NOTHING IN THIS TOWN IS REAL.
THE HOUSE WE SLEPT IN,
THIS CHILD WE CAN'T FIND,
THAT SQUIRREL,
STUFFED WITH SAWDUST.
SHOW ME ONE THING THAT'S REAL.
THAT TREE IS REAL.
AH... TREE, I LOVE YOU.
GET ME OUT OF HERE.
HONEY, LOOK, WAIT!
THERE'S BOUND TO
BE AN EXPLANATION.
WHAT, WHAT?
ALL RIGHT, JUST
CALM DOWN, DARLING.
HERE.
HEY, MAYBE THERE'S GOING
TO BE A WEDDING HERE TODAY.
SURE, SURE, THEY
FIXED UP THE LAWN
TO MAKE IT LOOK PRETTY.
I MEAN, YOU KNOW HOW THESE...
YEAH, OKAY.
BOB... LOOK, THE
GRASS, THE GROUND.
WHA... LOOK.
WHY...
WHY, THIS... THIS ISN'T GRASS.
IT'S PAPER-MACHE.
WHERE ARE WE, BOB?
WHERE ARE WE?
HEY!
HEY, ANYBODY HERE?!
SOMEBODY?!
HEY!
HEY, HEY!
BOY, AM I GLAD TO SEE YOU!
WE'VE BEEN WANDERING
AROUND HERE ALL MORNING.
YOU'RE THE FIRST PERSON...
BOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT
IT IS... A TRICK, A JOKE!
IS THERE SOMEBODY WATCHING US?
ARE YOU WATCHING US THERE,
BEHIND THOSE CURTAINS?
IS THIS A TEST?
ARE YOU TRYING TO FIND OUT
HOW MUCH OF THIS WE CAN TAKE
BEFORE WE TURN INTO
BLATHERING IDIOTS?
IS THIS SOME KIND OF A JOKE?
BOB, PLEASE DON'T TRY TO
FIND OUT ANYTHING MORE.
LET'S JUST KEEP GOING, HMM?
HONEY, LOOK AT THAT.
GET IN.
YOU THINK IT'S ALL RIGHT?
COME ON, BABY,
COME ON, LET'S GO.
BOB, STOP, YOU'RE GOING
TO FLOOD THE MOTOR
STOMPING ON IT THAT WAY.
WHAT, YEAH, YOU WANT TO DRIVE?
YOU'RE THE ONE WHO DROVE US
INTO THIS NUTHOUSE
IN THE FIRST PLACE.
THERE'S NO MOTOR.
HOW... THE...
THERE'S NO ENGINE IN THIS THING.
HEY, YOU HEAR WHAT I SAID?
I MEAN, UH, ISN'T
THAT A... NO MOTOR.
HUH...
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
WELL, WHAT HAVE I DONE NOW?
HONEY?
I DID NOT DRIVE
US INTO THIS PLACE.
I'M SORRY I SAID THAT.
IT'S ALL MY FAULT
FOR BEING TOO TIGHT TO DRIVE.
DO YOU REMEMBER ANY MORE?
HMM?
ANYTHING THAT HAPPENED...
HOW WE GOT HERE?
ONLY WHAT I'VE
ALREADY TOLD YOU, BOB.
I WAS DRIVING ALONG
SOMEWHERE ABOVE RIVERDALE.
YOU WERE ASLEEP
IN THE BACK SEAT.
AND THEN SOMETHING...
A SHADOW, OR SOMETHING,
ENVELOPED THE CAR, AND...
AND THAT'S ALL I REMEMBER.
I GUESS I FAINTED.
CRASHED?
I CRASHED... THAT WOULD
EXPLAIN EVERYTHING, WOULDN'T IT?
NO, NOT TO ME.
YEAH.
I CRASHED.
MAYBE WE'RE DEAD, BOB.
MAYBE THIS PLACE IS HELL.
DID YOU...
DID YOU EVER HEAR
OF A RAILROAD IN HELL?
NO.
BUT THE TRAIN PROBABLY
DOESN'T STOP HERE.
WELL, WE'LL TAKE THE NEXT ONE.
COME ON.
LET'S FIND OUT
WHERE THE STATION IS.
WAIT, MY SHOES!
WAIT, DON'T... WAIT FOR ME!
Millie: WAIT FOR US!
WHOO, DON'T GO!
HELLO, YOU BEAUTIFUL TRAIN.
OH, DID YOU EVER SEE
SUCH A BEAUTIFUL TRAIN?
HO, HO, I NEVER SAW A
MORE BEAUTIFUL TRAIN
IN MY LIFE.
WHAT ABOUT TICKETS?
WE'LL GET THEM
FROM THE CONDUCTOR.
WE'VE GOT THE WHOLE
CAR TO OURSELVES.
OH.
OH, WHAT A NUTTY LITTLE TOWN.
AND HOW.
BOY, I STILL WONDER
HOW WE GOT THERE.
COME ON, HONEY.
ADMIT IT, YOU DID HAVE A FEW
DRINKS AT THE PARTY, NOW.
DIDN'T YOU?
ONE OR TWO.
MM-HMM.
WELL, SOMEWHERE ALONG THE LINE,
YOUR DRINKS CAUGHT UP WITH YOU.
AND YOU GOT LOST,
AND WE ENDED UP
HERE IN CENTERVILLE.
I SUPPOSE THAT'S THE KIND
OF SCREWBALL THING
THAT I WOULD DO.
HOW DO YOU PUT UP WITH ME?
I DON'T KNOW, I JUST HAVE A
WEAKNESS FOR SCREWBALLS.
YOU CERTAINLY HAVE A GOOD ONE.
WELL, WELL...
IT WASN'T ALL THAT BAD
BACK THERE NOW, WAS IT?
NOT A BIT, NO.
IN FACT, I ONLY JUMP A FOOT
WHEN SOMEBODY SAYS "BOO."
BOO.
OH!
WHAT?
WAIT'LL I GET BACK
TO THE OFFICE.
I CAN SEE OLD MR. PEABODY NOW.
"FRASIER, WE'RE A TEAM HERE."
YEAH.
"WHEN ONE MEMBER OF
THAT TEAM LETS US DOWN
THE WHOLE ORGANIZATION SUFFERS."
OH, NO. NO!
NOW, WELL, UH... MAYBE IT'S
NOT THE SAME CENTERVILLE.
IT'S THE SAME ONE.
I SAW ON THE STREET...
NOTHING MOVING
NOTHING REAL.
HOW DID WE GET BACK THERE?
WE'VE GONE IN A CIRCLE.
COME ON.
NO, I'M NOT GOING BACK.
NOT BACK.
WE'RE GOING TO GET
ON THAT MAIN ROAD
AND KEEP RIGHT ON WALKING.
COME ON!
WAIT!
LET'S RUN, HUH?
COULD YOU?
I COULD GALLOP
IF IT WOULD GET US OUT
OF HERE ANY FASTER.
NO, WE BETTER SAVE OUR ENERGY.
MIGHT BE A LONG ROAD AHEAD.
WE STILL HAVE A FEW
HOURS OF DAYLIGHT.
THE SUN WILL BE UP.
BOB!
BE CAREFUL WITH YOUR PETS, DEAR.
DADDY BROUGHT THEM
ALL THE WAY FROM EARTH.
OH, CAN'T I PLAY
WITH THEM, MOMMY?
AFTER LUNCH, DEAR.
RIGHT NOW, PUT THEM BACK.
OH... GO ON.
THE MORAL OF WHAT
YOU'VE JUST SEEN IS CLEAR.
IF YOU DRINK, DON'T DRIVE.
AND IF YOUR WIFE
HAS HAD A COUPLE,
SHE SHOULDN'T DRIVE, EITHER.
YOU MIGHT BOTH JUST WAKE
UP WITH A WHALE OF A HEADACHE
IN A DESERTED VILLAGE
IN THE TWILIGHT ZONE.
WITH THE KEY OF IMAGINATION.
BEYOND IT IS
ANOTHER DIMENSION...
A DIMENSION OF SOUND,
A DIMENSION OF SIGHT,
A DIMENSION OF MIND.
YOU'RE MOVING INTO A LAND OF
BOTH SHADOW AND SUBSTANCE,
OF THINGS AND IDEAS.
YOU'VE JUST CROSSED
OVER INTO THE TWILIGHT ZONE.
REVEILLE, OLD TIGER.
COME ON, GET UP NOW, COME ON.
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
WELL, I KNEW YOU WERE
SWACKED, BUT REALLY.
OH, BOY.
I DIDN'T HAVE THAT
MUCH TO DRINK.
OH, HOO-HOO.
HEY, BOB, WHERE ARE WE?
I HAD HOPED WE
WERE IN THE BEDROOM
OF AN APARTMENT
ON WEST 12th STREET
IN NEW YORK CITY.
WELL, WE'RE NOT.
YEAH, HMM.
HMM, I DON'T GET IT.
ALL RIGHT.
WE WENT TO SLEEP AT HOME...
DIDN'T WE?
WELL, OF COURSE WE DID.
WELL.
REMEMBER, WE LEFT THE PARTY
UP IN BEDFORD VILLAGE.
AND YOU DROVE.
I HAD TO, REMEMBER?
YOU WERE, UH... SLEEPY.
LET'S SAY UNABLE TO DRIVE.
EVEN HAD THE TOP DOWN.
I THOUGHT THAT WOULD REVIVE YOU.
AND THEN SOMEWHERE
ABOVE RIVERDALE...
WELL, SOMEWHERE
ABOVE RIVERDALE... WHAT?
WAIT A MINUTE.
SOMETHING...
CAME DOWN ON THE
CAR FROM OVERHEAD.
A SHADOW.
AND THEN... THAT'S
ALL I REMEMBER.
YOU PROBABLY PLOWED
US INTO ANOTHER CAR.
I DID NOT PLOW US
INTO ANOTHER CAR.
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
LET'S JUST SAY, ANOTHER
CAR PLOWED INTO US?
WE WERE PROBABLY KNOCKED OUT.
NO.
YOU WERE ALREADY KNOCKED OUT.
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT,
JUST, UGH, OH, HONEY.
LOOK, IT'S PROB...
IT'S NO BIG DEAL.
SOMEBODY BROUGHT
US HERE, PUT US TO BED,
THERE'S PROBABLY BACON SIZZLING
AND SCRAMBLED EGGS
WAITING DOWNSTAIRS RIGHT NOW.
IN FACT, I THINK I
CAN SMELL IT NOW.
GOOD MORNING.
NO SCRAMBLED EGGS.
WELL, THEY MUST HAVE GONE OUT.
PROBABLY EXPECTED
US TO SLEEP FOR A WHILE.
WELL, THEY MUST BE
PRETTY CASUAL TYPES
TO JUST GO OFF AND LEAVE
US SLEEPING UP THERE.
I'M GOING TO FIND
OUT WHERE WE ARE.
OH, UH, INFORMATION... 411?
I DON'T KNOW.
JUST DIAL "O."
BOB!
BOB, WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "BOB"?
THE THING WASN'T WIRED IN.
YOU PULLED IT TOO HARD.
IT STILL HAS TO BE WIRED IN.
WELL, JUST PUT IT BACK, PLEASE.
Woman: GOT A PENCIL?
NO.
THERE MUST BE ONE
AROUND HERE SOMEWHERE.
MMM, SHE'S NOT A VERY
GOOD HOUSEKEEPER.
ALL THE DRAWERS STICK.
BOB, WOULD YOU HELP ME PLEASE?
THIS IS STAGE
BREAD, A... IT'S A PROP.
JUST EMPTY CARTONS.
WELL, IT'S A GOOD THING I
DON'T BELIEVE IN GHOSTS.
WELL, NEITHER DO I, BUT...
LET'S, UH, LET'S GET
OUT OF HERE ANYWAY.
BOB AND MILLIE FRASIER.
AVERAGE YOUNG NEW YORKERS
WHO ATTENDED A PARTY
IN THE COUNTRY LAST NIGHT
AND, ON THE WAY
HOME, TOOK A DETOUR.
MOST OF US ON
WAKING IN THE MORNING
KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE.
THE ROOSTER OR ALARM
CLOCK BRINGS US OUT OF SLEEP
INTO THE FAMILIAR SIGHTS,
SOUNDS, AROMAS OF HOME
AND THE COMFORT OF
A ROUTINE DAY AHEAD.
NOT SO WITH OUR YOUNG FRIENDS.
THIS WILL BE A DAY LIKE
NONE THEY'VE EVER SPENT.
AND THEY'LL SPEND IT
IN THE TWILIGHT ZONE.
MUST HAVE GONE.
WELL, WHAT DO WE DO NOW?
LET'S TRY ONE OF THE NEIGHBORS.
BOY, I WISH I COULD
REMEMBER HOW WE GOT HERE.
REMINDS ME OF THE
CONEY ISLAND SPOOK HOUSE.
DOES IT STRIKE YOU
THAT, UM, IT'S JUST
AS SPOOKY OUT HERE?
THERE'S NOT EVEN A BIRD SINGING.
MAYBE THEY'RE JUST
BEING CONSIDERATE
OF YOUR HANGOVER, DARLING.
STOP NEEDLING ME.
I'M NOT NEEDLING.
BUT IF YOU'D BEEN
SOBER ENOUGH TO DRIVE
MAYBE WE'D BE HOME NOW
INSTEAD OF WHEREVER THIS IS!
OH, HICKSVILLE.
BOY, I DON'T SEE
HOW THEY STAND IT
IN THIS SMALL BURG.
HMM, YOU MEAN ALL THESE PEOPLE
ARE JUST STANDING
AROUND STARING AT US, HUH?
WHY, WHERE, DO YOU SEE ANY?
NO, NOT A SOUL.
Bob: THAT'S THE WAY IT
IS IN THESE SMALL TOWNS.
THEY PEEK FROM BEHIND CURTAINS.
GIVE ME THE BIG CITY ANY DAY!
AT LEAST THERE YOU KNOW
WHEN YOU'RE BEING STARED AT.
OH, LOOK, THERE'S ONE CITIZEN
THAT MAKES NO
PRETENSE ABOUT STARING.
ISN'T HE CUTE?
ALL RIGHT, LOOK, COME ON, HONEY.
NO, NO, SHH, I THINK HE'S TAME.
OH, COME LOOK.
YEAH, YEAH, AH,
HE'S A REAL DOLL.
HEY, NICE BABY.
HEY, SWEETHEART.
I TOUCHED HIM AND
HE FELL OVER DEAD.
YEAH?
THIS THING'S BEEN
DEAD FOR YEARS.
STUFFED.
WHAT WOULD ANYBODY WANT
WITH A STUFFED SQUIRREL?
OH, MILL, DON'T ASK
ME TO FIGURE OUT
WHY ANYBODY DOES
ANYTHING IN THIS HICK TOWN.
SHH, THEY'LL HEAR YOU.
WHERE'RE YOU GOING?
FIRST, I'D LIKE TO FIND
OUT WHERE WE ARE.
SECOND, I'D LIKE
TO USE THEIR PHONE.
THIRD, I'D LIKE TO BEG, BUY,
BORROW OR STEAL AN ASPIRIN.
I JUST WANT TO GO HOME.
I WANT TO GO HOME!
IS THERE ANYBODY HERE?!
CAN ANYBODY HEAR US?!
PLEASE, WON'T SOMEBODY HELP US?!
PLEASE, SOMEBODY!
GOD, IT'S THAT KID AGAIN.
WELL, AT LEAST THE
TOWN'S NOT DESERTED.
YEAH, MAYBE THEY'RE
ALL IN ONE PLACE...
A, A TOWN MEETING, OR
SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
SURE, ON A SUNDAY MORNING.
YEAH, ESPECIALLY ON SUNDAY.
THAT'S WHERE THEY MUST BE!
THEY'RE IN CHURCH!
AH!
WAIT, WE JUST CAN'T WALK IN.
WATCH ME.
WHAT'LL YOU TELL THEM?
I'LL TELL THEM I'M TIRED
OF THEIR CREEPY TOWN
AND I'LL PAY ANYBODY
ANYTHING HE ASKS
TO GET US ON A TRAIN OR BUS
THAT'LL GET US
BACK TO CIVILIZATION.
MAYBE THEY'RE PRAYING.
MAYBE WE'D BETTER WAIT.
HERE'S THE CHURCH,
THERE'S THE STEEPLE,
OPEN THE DOOR...
NOBODY.
WHAT NOW?
AH.
THIS'LL BRING THEM.
LOOK OUTSIDE.
SEE IF ANYBODY'S COMING.
WHERE'D EVERYBODY GO?
THERE ISN'T ANYBODY.
JUST US.
OH, COME ON.
THERE ISN'T A PERSON
OR A THING ALIVE IN THIS TOWN.
AND YET... WHAT?
WE'RE BEING WATCHED.
NO.
NOW YOU'RE GETTING DELUSIONS.
WAS THAT A DELUSION?
I'M GOING TO FIND THAT KID.
HEY, KID.
COME ON OUT.
WE WANT TO TALK TO YOU.
WHERE ARE YOU?
NOTHING IN THIS TOWN IS REAL.
THE HOUSE WE SLEPT IN,
THIS CHILD WE CAN'T FIND,
THAT SQUIRREL,
STUFFED WITH SAWDUST.
SHOW ME ONE THING THAT'S REAL.
THAT TREE IS REAL.
AH... TREE, I LOVE YOU.
GET ME OUT OF HERE.
HONEY, LOOK, WAIT!
THERE'S BOUND TO
BE AN EXPLANATION.
WHAT, WHAT?
ALL RIGHT, JUST
CALM DOWN, DARLING.
HERE.
HEY, MAYBE THERE'S GOING
TO BE A WEDDING HERE TODAY.
SURE, SURE, THEY
FIXED UP THE LAWN
TO MAKE IT LOOK PRETTY.
I MEAN, YOU KNOW HOW THESE...
YEAH, OKAY.
BOB... LOOK, THE
GRASS, THE GROUND.
WHA... LOOK.
WHY...
WHY, THIS... THIS ISN'T GRASS.
IT'S PAPER-MACHE.
WHERE ARE WE, BOB?
WHERE ARE WE?
HEY!
HEY, ANYBODY HERE?!
SOMEBODY?!
HEY!
HEY, HEY!
BOY, AM I GLAD TO SEE YOU!
WE'VE BEEN WANDERING
AROUND HERE ALL MORNING.
YOU'RE THE FIRST PERSON...
BOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT
IT IS... A TRICK, A JOKE!
IS THERE SOMEBODY WATCHING US?
ARE YOU WATCHING US THERE,
BEHIND THOSE CURTAINS?
IS THIS A TEST?
ARE YOU TRYING TO FIND OUT
HOW MUCH OF THIS WE CAN TAKE
BEFORE WE TURN INTO
BLATHERING IDIOTS?
IS THIS SOME KIND OF A JOKE?
BOB, PLEASE DON'T TRY TO
FIND OUT ANYTHING MORE.
LET'S JUST KEEP GOING, HMM?
HONEY, LOOK AT THAT.
GET IN.
YOU THINK IT'S ALL RIGHT?
COME ON, BABY,
COME ON, LET'S GO.
BOB, STOP, YOU'RE GOING
TO FLOOD THE MOTOR
STOMPING ON IT THAT WAY.
WHAT, YEAH, YOU WANT TO DRIVE?
YOU'RE THE ONE WHO DROVE US
INTO THIS NUTHOUSE
IN THE FIRST PLACE.
THERE'S NO MOTOR.
HOW... THE...
THERE'S NO ENGINE IN THIS THING.
HEY, YOU HEAR WHAT I SAID?
I MEAN, UH, ISN'T
THAT A... NO MOTOR.
HUH...
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
WELL, WHAT HAVE I DONE NOW?
HONEY?
I DID NOT DRIVE
US INTO THIS PLACE.
I'M SORRY I SAID THAT.
IT'S ALL MY FAULT
FOR BEING TOO TIGHT TO DRIVE.
DO YOU REMEMBER ANY MORE?
HMM?
ANYTHING THAT HAPPENED...
HOW WE GOT HERE?
ONLY WHAT I'VE
ALREADY TOLD YOU, BOB.
I WAS DRIVING ALONG
SOMEWHERE ABOVE RIVERDALE.
YOU WERE ASLEEP
IN THE BACK SEAT.
AND THEN SOMETHING...
A SHADOW, OR SOMETHING,
ENVELOPED THE CAR, AND...
AND THAT'S ALL I REMEMBER.
I GUESS I FAINTED.
CRASHED?
I CRASHED... THAT WOULD
EXPLAIN EVERYTHING, WOULDN'T IT?
NO, NOT TO ME.
YEAH.
I CRASHED.
MAYBE WE'RE DEAD, BOB.
MAYBE THIS PLACE IS HELL.
DID YOU...
DID YOU EVER HEAR
OF A RAILROAD IN HELL?
NO.
BUT THE TRAIN PROBABLY
DOESN'T STOP HERE.
WELL, WE'LL TAKE THE NEXT ONE.
COME ON.
LET'S FIND OUT
WHERE THE STATION IS.
WAIT, MY SHOES!
WAIT, DON'T... WAIT FOR ME!
Millie: WAIT FOR US!
WHOO, DON'T GO!
HELLO, YOU BEAUTIFUL TRAIN.
OH, DID YOU EVER SEE
SUCH A BEAUTIFUL TRAIN?
HO, HO, I NEVER SAW A
MORE BEAUTIFUL TRAIN
IN MY LIFE.
WHAT ABOUT TICKETS?
WE'LL GET THEM
FROM THE CONDUCTOR.
WE'VE GOT THE WHOLE
CAR TO OURSELVES.
OH.
OH, WHAT A NUTTY LITTLE TOWN.
AND HOW.
BOY, I STILL WONDER
HOW WE GOT THERE.
COME ON, HONEY.
ADMIT IT, YOU DID HAVE A FEW
DRINKS AT THE PARTY, NOW.
DIDN'T YOU?
ONE OR TWO.
MM-HMM.
WELL, SOMEWHERE ALONG THE LINE,
YOUR DRINKS CAUGHT UP WITH YOU.
AND YOU GOT LOST,
AND WE ENDED UP
HERE IN CENTERVILLE.
I SUPPOSE THAT'S THE KIND
OF SCREWBALL THING
THAT I WOULD DO.
HOW DO YOU PUT UP WITH ME?
I DON'T KNOW, I JUST HAVE A
WEAKNESS FOR SCREWBALLS.
YOU CERTAINLY HAVE A GOOD ONE.
WELL, WELL...
IT WASN'T ALL THAT BAD
BACK THERE NOW, WAS IT?
NOT A BIT, NO.
IN FACT, I ONLY JUMP A FOOT
WHEN SOMEBODY SAYS "BOO."
BOO.
OH!
WHAT?
WAIT'LL I GET BACK
TO THE OFFICE.
I CAN SEE OLD MR. PEABODY NOW.
"FRASIER, WE'RE A TEAM HERE."
YEAH.
"WHEN ONE MEMBER OF
THAT TEAM LETS US DOWN
THE WHOLE ORGANIZATION SUFFERS."
OH, NO. NO!
NOW, WELL, UH... MAYBE IT'S
NOT THE SAME CENTERVILLE.
IT'S THE SAME ONE.
I SAW ON THE STREET...
NOTHING MOVING
NOTHING REAL.
HOW DID WE GET BACK THERE?
WE'VE GONE IN A CIRCLE.
COME ON.
NO, I'M NOT GOING BACK.
NOT BACK.
WE'RE GOING TO GET
ON THAT MAIN ROAD
AND KEEP RIGHT ON WALKING.
COME ON!
WAIT!
LET'S RUN, HUH?
COULD YOU?
I COULD GALLOP
IF IT WOULD GET US OUT
OF HERE ANY FASTER.
NO, WE BETTER SAVE OUR ENERGY.
MIGHT BE A LONG ROAD AHEAD.
WE STILL HAVE A FEW
HOURS OF DAYLIGHT.
THE SUN WILL BE UP.
BOB!
BE CAREFUL WITH YOUR PETS, DEAR.
DADDY BROUGHT THEM
ALL THE WAY FROM EARTH.
OH, CAN'T I PLAY
WITH THEM, MOMMY?
AFTER LUNCH, DEAR.
RIGHT NOW, PUT THEM BACK.
OH... GO ON.
THE MORAL OF WHAT
YOU'VE JUST SEEN IS CLEAR.
IF YOU DRINK, DON'T DRIVE.
AND IF YOUR WIFE
HAS HAD A COUPLE,
SHE SHOULDN'T DRIVE, EITHER.
YOU MIGHT BOTH JUST WAKE
UP WITH A WHALE OF A HEADACHE
IN A DESERTED VILLAGE
IN THE TWILIGHT ZONE.