The Twilight Zone (1959–1964): Season 2, Episode 28 - Will the Real Martian Please Stand Up? - full transcript
Following a frantic phone call about a crashed spaceship, two policeman try and determine who among the passengers of a bus at a snowed-in roadside diner is from another world.
YOU'RE TRAVELING
THROUGH ANOTHER DIMENSION
A DIMENSION NOT ONLY OF
SIGHT AND SOUND, BUT OF MIND
A JOURNEY INTO A WONDROUS LAND
WHOSE BOUNDARIES
ARE THAT OF IMAGINATION.
THAT'S THE SIGNPOST UP AHEAD.
YOUR NEXT STOP,
THE TWILIGHT ZONE.
SEE ANYTHING?
THE TOPS OF SOME TREES
HAVE BEEN KNOCKED DOWN.
LOOKS LIKE SOMETHING
HIT THAT POND.
WHATEVER IT IS WILL BE
UNDER THE ICE TILL NEXT SPRING.
A METEOR OR SOMETHING, PROBABLY.
I BETTER CHECK IN.
THAT WOMAN WHO
PHONED SAID SOMETHING
ABOUT CALLING OUT
THE NATIONAL GUARD.
THIS IS 118-3A, 118-3A
REPORTING A CHECK-OUT.
Man: Go ahead.
CHECKING OUT A REPORT ON
AN UNIDENTIFIED FLYING OBJECT.
SUPPOSED TO HAVE LANDED IN
THE AREA OF HOOK'S LANDING.
APPEARS SOMETHING
CUT OFF THE TOPS
OF SOME TREES.
CAME DOWN IN THE
ICE AT TRACY'S POND
AND WE CAN'T SEE IT NOW.
BILL?
HOLD ON.
YEAH?
THERE ARE FOOTPRINTS UP HERE.
THEY COME UP
FROM THE POND AND...
LOOKS LIKE THEY GOT
OUT OF WHATEVER LANDED.
APPEARS TO BE
SOME EVIDENCE THAT...
WE'LL CALL YOU BACK.
What's it all about?
WE DON'T KNOW YET.
How's that?
WE'LL, UH... WE'LL CALL
YOU BACK IN A LITTLE BIT.
All right, Padgett
but there's talk of the
bridge going out up there.
When you can, take a look
and make sure she's
posted and blocked off.
Enough ice jammed
against it to cool the Congo.
ROGER AND OUT.
NO QUESTION ABOUT IT.
SOMETHING LEFT THAT POND...
AND WENT OVER TO THE DINER.
LOOKS LIKE A BUS IN
FRONT OF THAT DINER.
YOU DON'T SUPPOSE
IT CAME OUT OF
THAT POND, DO YOU?
VERY FUNNY.
SORRY.
LET'S LEAVE THE CAR
AND FOLLOW THESE TRACKS.
I WANT TO BE SURE
THEY LEAD TO THE DINER.
WINTRY FEBRUARY
NIGHT, THE PRESENT.
A PHONE CALL FROM
A FRIGHTENED WOMAN
NOTATING THE ARRIVAL OF
AN UNIDENTIFIED FLYING OBJECT
THEN THE CHECK-OUT YOU WITNESSED
WITH TWO STATE TROOPERS
VERIFYING THE EVENT
BUT WITH NOTHING MORE
ENLIGHTENING TO ADD
BEYOND EVIDENCE OF SOME TRACKS
LEADING ACROSS THE
HIGHWAY TO A DINER.
YOU'VE HEARD OF TRYING TO
FIND A NEEDLE IN A HAYSTACK?
WELL, STAY WITH US AND YOU'LL
BE PART OF AN INVESTIGATING TEAM
WHOSE MISSION IS NOT TO
FIND THAT PROVERBIAL NEEDLE...
NO, THEIR TASK IS EVEN HARDER.
THEY'VE GOT TO FIND
A MARTIAN IN A DINER
AND IN JUST A MOMENT
YOU'LL SEARCH WITH THEM
BECAUSE YOU'VE JUST
LANDED IN THE TWILIGHT ZONE.
TROUBLE?
WHOSE BUS IS THIS OUT HERE?
Man: THAT'S MINE, OFFICER.
WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?
THE BRIDGE UP AHEAD
HAS BEEN DECLARED
TEMPORARILY IMPASSABLE.
ICE FLOE STACKED UP AGAINST IT.
ANOTHER POUND OF WEIGHT
AND IT COULD BE DRIFTWOOD.
THAT'S ROUGH.
CAN'T GO BACK.
THERE'S A SLIDE
UP AT THE TURNOFF.
BLOCKED THE WHOLE ROAD.
LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE MAROONED.
TILL MORNING, ANYWAY.
Man: TILL MORNING?
I'VE GOT TO BE IN
BOSTON AT 9:00 A.M.
Driver: YOU BETTER
START WALKING, MISTER
BECAUSE THAT BUS STAYS OUT
THERE UNTIL THEY FIX THE BRIDGE.
EITHER THAT OR HAVE THEM
DROP SOME SNOWSHOES.
SO YOU MIGHT AS WELL
ALL GET COMFORTABLE
AND GET A LITTLE
HOT FOOD IN YOU.
OH, THAT'S JUST GREAT.
THAT'S FINE, ISN'T IT?
GET COMFORTABLE AND
GET A LITTLE HOT FOOD IN YOU.
THAT'S PRECIOUS
LITTLE CONSOLATION
FOR MISSING MY
MEETING IN BOSTON.
THAT'S A FINE BUS
LINE YOU WORK FOR.
THEY CARE SO MUCH
ABOUT THEIR
SCHEDULES, DON'T THEY?
I WOULDN'T BE TOO HARD ON THEM.
THEY HAVE NO CONTROL
OVER THE SNOW, BRIDGES
THE SIDES OF HILLS THAT
DECIDE TO COME DOWN.
THAT'S PRETTY MUCH
OUT OF THEIR HANDS.
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
THEY WERE ALL ON
THE BUS, WEREN'T THEY?
WHAT'S THE TROUBLE? YOU
LOOKING FOR SOMEBODY?
DRIVER, UH... YOU GOT
A PASSENGER MANIFEST?
PASSENGER MANIFEST?
WHAT DO YOU THINK
I GOT PARKED OUT THERE, A 707?
THAT'S A 14-YEAR-OLD BUS
AND BUSINESS IS LOUSY.
MY BOSS WOULD RUN
RUM ACROSS THE BORDER
IF THERE WAS A PROFIT IN IT.
I DON'T ASK PASSENGERS
THEIR NAMES.
WE KISS THEM GENTLY
AND HELP THEM IN.
WE'RE THAT GLAD TO HAVE
THEM, WITH OR WITHOUT NAMES.
YOU KNOW HOW MANY YOU HAD?
SIX.
UNLESS ONE OF THEM
FELL OUT THE WINDOW
WHEN WE HIT A BUMP.
I PICKED UP SIX
AND I'M SUPPOSED TO DELIVER SIX.
NOBODY FELL OUT.
SOMEBODY MUST HAVE JUMPED IN.
THERE ARE SEVEN HERE NOW.
THAT'S FUNNY.
I KNOW I HAD SIX PEOPLE.
THANKS.
TELL ME, WAS THERE
ANYBODY IN HERE
BEFORE THE BUS STOPPED?
NO, I HAVEN'T SERVED ANYBODY
SINCE 11:00 THIS MORNING.
I FIGURED THIS WHOLE
BUNCH GOT OFF THE BUS.
WE DID... THERE WAS NO ONE
IN HERE WHEN WE CAME IN.
THEN HOW DO YOU
ACCOUNT FOR SEVEN PEOPLE?
THAT ONE BEATS ME.
ONE OF THEM DIDN'T
GET OFF THE BUS.
WHICH ONE OF YOU
WASN'T ON THE BUS?
WE WERE ALL ON THE BUS.
WHAT KIND OF INTERROGATION
IS THIS, ANYWAY?
IF WE'RE GOING TO BE GRILLED,
I WANT TO TALK TO A LAWYER.
THAT'S A GOOD ONE!
FIRST HE WANTS SNOWSHOES,
THEN HE WANTS A LAWYER.
I DON'T REMEMBER
SEEING YOU ON THE BUS.
THAT'S QUITE FUNNY
BECAUSE I DON'T REMEMBER
SEEING YOU NEITHER.
MAKES ONE OF
US A LIAR, DON'T IT?
THIS IS PREPOSTEROUS.
WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE
WHO WAS ON THE
BUS AND WHO WASN'T
OR WHETHER THERE
WERE SIX OR SEVEN OR 120?
IS THIS A DINER OR
GESTAPO HEADQUARTERS?
OH, NOW, TAKE IT EASY, MISTER.
WHAT'S IT ALL ABOUT?
DID YOU HEAR ANYTHING
FLYING OVER HERE TONIGHT?
FLYING OVER HERE?
NO, I HAVEN'T HEARD ANYTHING.
WE GOT A CALL ABOUT
TWO HOURS AGO.
WOMAN SAID SHE HEARD SOMETHING
FLY OVER AND THEN COME DOWN.
FLY OVER HERE?
FROM WHERE?
FROM UP THERE.
AN UNIDENTIFIED FLYING OBJECT.
UNIDENTIFIED FLYING OBJECT?
NOTHING'S COME DOWN
FROM UP THERE EXCEPT SNOW.
THAT'S ALL I'VE SEEN
FOR THE PAST 14 HOURS... SNOW.
WHERE DID SHE SAY IT CAME DOWN?
Padgett: CLOSE TO HERE.
LOOK, SOMETHING DID
LAND IN TRACY'S POND.
LEFT A TRAIL OF BROKEN BRANCHES
BEFORE IT HIT.
WE FOUND TRACKS
LEADING AWAY FROM IT.
TO WHERE?
TO HERE.
YOU MEAN SOMETHING
LANDED IN TRACY'S POND
AND THEN CAME IN HERE?
THAT'S CRAZY.
NOTHING'S COME IN HERE
SINCE 11:00 THIS MORNING.
NOTHING, EXCEPT...
Driver: EXCEPT ME
AND MY PASSENGERS.
ME AND SIX PEOPLE.
THAT MEANS THAT...
ONE PERSON HERE...
GEORGE, I DON'T LIKE THIS.
EASY, HONEY, EASY.
LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT.
YOU'RE TRYING TO TELL US
THAT THERE'S ONE PERSON IN HERE
WHO LANDED IN SOME
KIND OF A SAUCER
AND THEN CAME IN HERE?
CAME IN HERE WITH US?
WELL, THAT'S JUST NOT POSSIBLE.
WE'D HAVE SEEN THEM.
Man: NOT NECESSARILY.
IT'S SNOWING AND DARK.
WE CLIMBED OFF OF THAT BUS
WITH OUR EYES CLOSED
TO GET OUT OF THE SNOW.
ANYONE COULD HAVE COME IN WITH
US AND WE WOULDN'T HAVE NOTICED.
YOU WERE ALL ON
THE BUS TOGETHER.
YOU WOULD HAVE KNOWN WHO
THE OTHER PASSENGERS WERE.
Driver: THAT DON'T CUT ANY ICE.
THEY LOADED IN THE
SNOW AT HOOK'S LANDING.
TELL YOU THE TRUTH, I
DON'T KNOW WHO GOT ON.
SHE'S JUST LIKE A SCIENCE
FICTION, THAT'S WHAT SHE IS.
A REGULAR RAY BRADBURY.
SIX HUMANS AND ONE MONSTER
FROM OUTER SPACE...
YOU WOULDN'T
HAPPEN TO HAVE AN EYE
IN THE BACK OF YOUR
HEAD, WOULD YOU?
I FIND YOU OFFENSIVE,
YOU KNOW THAT?
WHAT DO YOU DO NOW, OFFICER?
LOOK, LADY, THIS ISN'T EXACTLY
PAR FOR OUR COURSES EITHER.
WE GO OFF ON A LOT OF NUTTY
ASSIGNMENTS BUT THIS ONE...
WOW.
WELL, I KNOW HOW YOU BEGIN.
YOU PAIR OFF THE COUPLES.
SINCE IT'S JUST ONE PERSON
WHO DOESN'T BELONG HERE, YOU...
YOU ELIMINATE THE COUPLES.
WE'RE EXONERATED.
CROSS US OFF.
WE'RE TWO OF THE HUMANS.
George: US, TOO MY WIFE AND I.
WE'RE IN THE CLEAR.
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
I... I COULD HAVE SWORN
YOU HAD A MOLE ON YOUR CHIN.
MOLE ON MY CHIN?
CONNIE, I'VE NEVER
HAD A MOLE ON MY CHIN.
I CAN TELL YOU WHAT'S
GOING TO HAPPEN.
WE'RE ALL GOING
TO GET SO PANICKY
THAT EVERYONE
WILL START PICKING UP
INVISIBLE CLUES
FROM EVERYBODY ELSE.
THIS IS NONSENSE.
OF COURSE IT'S NONSENSE
IF A HUSBAND AND
WIFE START WONDERING
WHETHER THE HUSBAND
IS REALLY THE HUSBAND
AND THE WIFE... IS...
NOW, WAIT A MINUTE.
23 YEARS IS LONG ENOUGH
FOR A WOMAN TO KNOW
WHO SHE'S MARRIED TO.
SO I'LL THANK YOU TO
STOP LOOKING AT ME
AS IF I'D JUST PUT ON THIS
FACE AS PART OF A COSTUME.
I LOVE THIS.
SHE DON'T KNOW WHO HE IS.
HE DON'T KNOW WHO SHE IS.
WE DON'T KNOW WHO SHE IS.
AND THIS LEMON-SUCKER HERE
HE'S THE MOST
SUSPICIOUS OF THE BUNCH.
YOU GOT A BACK
DOOR TO THIS PLACE?
SURE, WHY?
GO BACK THERE AND LOCK IT.
IT'S ALREADY LOCKED.
IF THAT CERTAIN SOMEBODY
REALLY IS FROM OUTER SPACE
THEY'LL JUST GO
THROUGH THE WALL.
Old man: CHECK THEM FOR WINGS!
CHECK THEM FOR WINGS!
LOOK UNDER THEIR COATS.
YOU GOT IDENTIFICATION, GRANDPA?
LEFT IT IN THE POND
IN MY SPACESHIP.
WHO WON THE WORLD
SERIES LAST YEAR?
WHAT IS THIS, A SORT OF
PROLONGED PRACTICAL JOKE?
I GET IT, I GET IT!
PITTSBURGH PIRATES WON IT.
TOOK FOUR OUT OF
SEVEN FROM THE YANKEES.
EH?
SHARP BOYS, REAL SHARP BOYS.
DIDN'T FIGURE US MARTIANS
WOULD KNOW NOTHING
ABOUT THE GREAT
AMERICAN PASTIME, DID YOU?
HUH? HUH!
YOU GOT IDENTIFICATION, MISS?
WELL, NO, AS A MATTER
OF FACT, I DON'T.
I LEFT MY WALLET... I
LEFT IT IN MY SUITCASE.
IT WAS SHIPPED ON AHEAD.
WHAT'S YOUR NAME, MISS?
ETHEL McCONNELL, I'M A
PROFESSIONAL DANCER.
HOW MANY LEGS?
HOW MANY LEGS?
I'M GOING TO BELT YOU, GRANDPA.
SHE WAS ON THE BUS.
HOW DO YOU KNOW?
SHE'S THE ONLY ONE I NOTICED.
WELL, THANK YOU.
BUT WHO NOTICED HIM?
HOW DO WE KNOW
YOU'RE THE SAME ONE
DRIVING THE BUS?
AIN'T NOBODY BEEN EXONERATED YET
THAT'S FOR SURE.
LET'S CUT THIS FARCE OUT.
WE'LL ALL SHOW
OUR IDENTIFICATIONS
AND PUT A STOP TO IT.
THE WHOLE THING'S RIDICULOUS.
THEN HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN
THE EXTRA PERSON IN HERE?
YES, HOW ABOUT THAT?
VERY SIMPLE.
THE DRIVER'S MISTAKEN.
SEVEN PEOPLE GOT ON THE BUS
AND HE THOUGHT
THERE WERE ONLY SIX.
IS THAT POSSIBLE?
NOT A CHANCE IN THE WORLD.
I COUNTED HEADS
BEFORE WE TOOK OFF.
THERE WERE SIX PEOPLE.
MISS...
WHAT CAUSED THAT?
WE, UH...
WE MAY GET A LAUGH
OUT OF ALL THIS
IN THE MORNING IN THE MEANTIME
EVERYONE STAY
RIGHT WHERE THEY ARE.
WHERE ARE THE TROOPERS?
HMM? OH, STEPPED OUTSIDE.
SNOW STOPPED.
SAY, HALEY... THAT
WASN'T YOUR GAG, WAS IT?
I MEAN, THE BUSINESS ABOUT
THE JUKEBOX STARTING LIKE THAT?
NOT ME. I'M STRICTLY SHORT
ORDERS AND PAY YOUR TAXES.
I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING
ABOUT SCIENCE FICTION.
A JUKEBOX IS A JUKEBOX,
AND IF THAT THING
WANTS TO START
UP ALL ON ITS OWN,
YOU'LL CHECK WITH AN
ELECTRICAL ENGINEER.
TAKE ME TO YOUR LEADER.
TAKE ME TO YOUR LEADER!
FIND ANYTHING?
NO.
TOOK A LOOK AT THE BRIDGE.
HOLDING UP WELL.
Driver: I KNOW THAT BRIDGE.
WHAT'S MORE, I DON'T TRUST IT.
WELL, THANK GOODNESS
WE NEEDN'T CONCERN OURSELVES
WITH YOUR JUDGMENT.
IF THE BRIDGE GETS A
CLEAN BILL OF HEALTH
YOU'LL DRIVE THAT
BUS RIGHT ACROSS IT.
LISTEN, YOU MAY BE
A BIG SHOT IN BOSTON
BUT WHEN IT COMES
TO BRIDGES AND BUSES
I GOT SENIORITY AND I TELL YOU
THAT BRIDGE IS SO OLD THAT...
HEY, WHAT IS THIS?
WHY DID THE LIGHTS
GO OUT LIKE THAT?
WE MAY BE LOSING POWER.
THIS IS WEIRD.
THIS IS JUST PLAIN WEIRD.
WELL, I WISH WHOEVER IT WAS
WOULD PLAY HIS CARDS RIGHT NOW.
WHY DON'T THEY DO SOMETHING?
WHAT'S THE POINT OF US
ALL STAYING COOPED UP
IN HERE LIKE THIS
AND... AND NOT...
THE POINT IS THIS, MISS.
WE'RE ALL KIDS IN A CLOSET HERE.
NOBODY UNDERSTANDS
WHAT'S GOING ON.
IF THERE WAS SOME KIND OF A
SAUCER THAT LANDED IN THAT POND
AND HE DID COME IN HERE
I THINK IT WOULD BE
A REAL HEALTHY IDEA
IF WE PINPOINTED THAT
PARTICULAR SOMEBODY
AND KEPT HIM FROM LEAVING.
Cook: MAKES SENSE.
MAYBE WHOEVER
IT IS IS INVISIBLE.
MAYBE THEY'RE PLAYING AROUND.
CAT AND MOUSE.
THAT IS CHILDISH NONSENSE.
IT'S AS GOOD AN EXPLANATION
AS ANY I'VE HEARD.
BUT WHAT IF THE...
THE THING DOESN'T SHOW ITSELF?
DO WE JUST SIT HERE
HOLDING OUR BREATH?
YES. HOW ABOUT THAT?
WELL, IF SOMEBODY
WAS TO ASK ME...
WELL, NO ONE DID ASK
YOU, AND NO ONE WILL.
WHY DON'T YOU LEAVE
THE OLD MAN ALONE.
WHO INVITED YOU INTO THIS?
WELL, I DIDN'T REALIZE WE
WERE WAITING FOR INVITATIONS,
BUT YOU'VE GOT THIS BIG THING
ABOUT BOSSING EVERYBODY AROUND.
LOOK, IT'S TOUGH ENOUGH
JUST SITTING HERE WITHOUT...
GET OVER THERE AND
SIT DOWN, GRAMPS.
YEAH.
WHAT'S THAT?
IT'S OKAY?
ALL RIGHT, THANKS.
THE BRIDGE IS OKAY.
WELL, IT'S ABOUT TIME.
SHALL WE GO?
WHAT DO YOU THINK, PERRY?
CAN'T HOLD THEM.
YOU'RE MAKING A
BIG MISTAKE, OFFICER.
BIG MISTAKE.
YOU'RE LETTING A MONSTER OUT.
THAT MAY WELL BE, OLD MAN.
MAY WELL BE.
CAN'T HOLD SOMEBODY
ON SUSPICION OF BEING A MONSTER.
YOU CAN ROLL THEM ANY TIME.
ALL RIGHT.
Driver: ARE THEY SURE
ABOUT THAT BRIDGE?
I DON'T LIKE THAT SUCKER.
SHE SWINGS IN THE WIND
AND SHE'S NOT A SUSPENSION.
THAT WAS THE COUNTY ENGINEER.
THE BRIDGE HAS BEEN CHECKED OUT
AND DECLARED PASSABLE.
WE'LL GO ON AHEAD,
CROSS THE BRIDGE FIRST.
YOU CAN PAY YOUR
CHECKS RIGHT OVER HERE
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.
GODSPEED AND A SAFE TRIP.
AND YOU ALL COME BACK
AND SEE US AGAIN, YOU HEAR?
THAT IS... ALL BUT ONE OF YOU.
NOW, YOU HAD THE CHILI, RIGHT?
THAT'S 90 CENTS.
THANK YOU.
AND YOU HAD, WHAT,
14 CUPS OF COFFEE
THAT WAS $1.40.
GOOD-BYE, OFFICER.
MISS McCONNELL.
WELL, I COUNTED SEVEN.
THAT'S RIGHT, SEVEN.
BETCHA BY THE TIME WE GET
TO BOSTON, THERE'LL BE 17.
SOMETHING FOR YOU?
COFFEE... BLACK.
ONE COFFEE, BLACK.
HEY, UH, DIDN'T YOU, UH...
WHAT I MEAN IS...
DIDN'T YOU GO OUT ON THAT BUS?
I DID INDEED.
OH, YES, I WENT OUT ON THAT BUS.
AND DO YOU KNOW SOMETHING?
THAT BRIDGE WASN'T SAFE.
IT COLLAPSED.
THE STATE POLICE CAR,
THE BUS, EVERYTHING
KERPLUNK, RIGHT INTO THE RIVER.
IT WAS A TERRIBLE SCENE.
NO ONE GOT OUT.
EXCEPT YOU.
EXCEPT ME.
LUCKY, I GUESS, HUH?
VERY LUCKY.
BUT... BUT... BUT... WHAT?
YOU'RE NOT EVEN WET.
WET... WHAT'S "WET?"
WHAT DO YOU MEAN "WHAT'S 'WET?'"
YOU LANDED IN THE RIVER BUT
YOUR CLOTHES ARE ALL DRY.
ILLUSION, THAT'S ALL.
JUST AN ILLUSION.
LIKE THAT JUKEBOX
PLAYING IN THE CORNER.
THAT'S AN ILLUSION, TOO.
OR, UH, THAT TELEPHONE RINGING.
THAT'S AN ILLUSION.
JUST A PARLOR TRICK.
WHAT ARE YOU, SOME
KIND OF MAGICIAN?
WHO, ME?
OH, HARDLY.
NOW, UH, BEFORE YOU,
UH, FAINT DEAD AWAY
I OUGHT TO EXPLAIN THAT
THE NAME ISN'T REALLY ROSS...
AND, UH, I WASN'T
REALLY GOING TO BOSTON.
NO, I WAS SENT AS A
KIND OF ADVANCE SCOUT.
YOU KNOW, THESE, UH...
CIGARETTES, DO YOU CALL THEM?
THEY TASTE WONDERFUL.
WE HAVEN'T GOT A
THING LIKE THIS ON MARS.
THAT'S INCIDENTALLY
WHERE I COME FROM.
WE'RE BEGINNING TO COLONIZE.
MY FRIENDS WILL BE
ARRIVING VERY SHORTLY.
I THINK THEY'RE
GOING TO LIKE IT HERE.
IT'S A LOVELY AREA.
SO... SO REMOTE, SO PLEASANT,
SO OFF THE BEATEN TRACK.
JUST THE PERFECT
SPOT FOR A COLONY
DON'T YOU THINK, MR. HALEY?
WHILE WE'RE WAITING
HOW ABOUT A LITTLE
WHAT YOU CALL MUSIC?
I DON'T MIND.
I HAVE TO DO A LITTLE
WAITING MYSELF.
YOU SEE, MR. ROSS...
MY NAME ISN'T HALEY.
AND I DO AGREE WITH YOU.
THIS IS AN EXTRAORDINARY
PLACE TO COLONIZE.
WE FOLKS ON VENUS
HAD THE SAME IDEA.
WE GOT IT SEVERAL YEARS AGO.
AND I THINK I REALLY
OUGHT TO TELL YOU NOW
THAT YOUR FRIENDS
ARE NOT COMING.
THEY'VE BEEN INTERCEPTED.
OH, A COLONY IS COMING.
BUT IT'S FROM VENUS.
AND IF YOU'RE STILL ALIVE...
I THINK YOU'LL SEE
HOW WE DIFFER.
AND I AGREE WITH YOU
ABOUT WHAT THEY CALL MUSIC.
WHY DON'T YOU PLAY SOME?
INCIDENT ON A SMALL ISLAND,
TO BE BELIEVED OR DISBELIEVED.
HOWEVER, IF A SOUR-FACED
DANDY NAMED ROSS
OR A BIG, GOOD-NATURED
COUNTERMAN WHO HANDLES A SPATULA
AS IF HE'D BEEN BORN
WITH ONE IN HIS MOUTH
IF EITHER OF THESE TWO ENTITIES
WALK ONTO YOUR PREMISES
YOU BETTER HOLD THEIR
HANDS... ALL THREE OF THEM...
OR CHECK THE COLOR OF
THEIR EYES... ALL THREE OF THEM.
THE GENTLEMEN IN QUESTION
MIGHT TRY TO PULL YOU
INTO THE TWILIGHT ZONE.
Announcer: ROD SERLING,
CREATOR OF THE TWILIGHT ZONE
WILL TELL YOU ABOUT
NEXT WEEK'S STORY
AFTER THIS WORD FROM
OUR ALTERNATE SPONSOR.
AND NOW, MR. SERLING.
MR. BURGESS MEREDITH IS NO
STRANGER TO THE TWILIGHT ZONE
BUT HIS ROLE IN
NEXT WEEK'S STORY
IS A UNIQUE ONE, EVEN FOR HIM.
THE TIME WILL BE THE FUTURE,
THE PLACE JUST ABOUT ANYWHERE
WHERE MEN HAVE BEEN TAKEN
OVER BY A MACHINE STATE.
OUR STORY IS CALLED
"THE OBSOLETE MAN."
IT MAY CHILL, IT MAY PROVOKE
BUT WE'RE RATHER CERTAIN
IT WILL LEAVE A MARK.
NEXT WEEK ON THE TWILIGHT
ZONE, "THE OBSOLETE MAN."
HI, THIS IS ED SULLIVAN
REMINDING YOU THAT THE
COLGATE-PALMOLIVE COMPANY
ALSO BRINGS YOU STAR-STUDDED
ENTERTAINMENT ON OUR SHOW
ON MOST OF THESE SAME STATIONS.
THROUGH ANOTHER DIMENSION
A DIMENSION NOT ONLY OF
SIGHT AND SOUND, BUT OF MIND
A JOURNEY INTO A WONDROUS LAND
WHOSE BOUNDARIES
ARE THAT OF IMAGINATION.
THAT'S THE SIGNPOST UP AHEAD.
YOUR NEXT STOP,
THE TWILIGHT ZONE.
SEE ANYTHING?
THE TOPS OF SOME TREES
HAVE BEEN KNOCKED DOWN.
LOOKS LIKE SOMETHING
HIT THAT POND.
WHATEVER IT IS WILL BE
UNDER THE ICE TILL NEXT SPRING.
A METEOR OR SOMETHING, PROBABLY.
I BETTER CHECK IN.
THAT WOMAN WHO
PHONED SAID SOMETHING
ABOUT CALLING OUT
THE NATIONAL GUARD.
THIS IS 118-3A, 118-3A
REPORTING A CHECK-OUT.
Man: Go ahead.
CHECKING OUT A REPORT ON
AN UNIDENTIFIED FLYING OBJECT.
SUPPOSED TO HAVE LANDED IN
THE AREA OF HOOK'S LANDING.
APPEARS SOMETHING
CUT OFF THE TOPS
OF SOME TREES.
CAME DOWN IN THE
ICE AT TRACY'S POND
AND WE CAN'T SEE IT NOW.
BILL?
HOLD ON.
YEAH?
THERE ARE FOOTPRINTS UP HERE.
THEY COME UP
FROM THE POND AND...
LOOKS LIKE THEY GOT
OUT OF WHATEVER LANDED.
APPEARS TO BE
SOME EVIDENCE THAT...
WE'LL CALL YOU BACK.
What's it all about?
WE DON'T KNOW YET.
How's that?
WE'LL, UH... WE'LL CALL
YOU BACK IN A LITTLE BIT.
All right, Padgett
but there's talk of the
bridge going out up there.
When you can, take a look
and make sure she's
posted and blocked off.
Enough ice jammed
against it to cool the Congo.
ROGER AND OUT.
NO QUESTION ABOUT IT.
SOMETHING LEFT THAT POND...
AND WENT OVER TO THE DINER.
LOOKS LIKE A BUS IN
FRONT OF THAT DINER.
YOU DON'T SUPPOSE
IT CAME OUT OF
THAT POND, DO YOU?
VERY FUNNY.
SORRY.
LET'S LEAVE THE CAR
AND FOLLOW THESE TRACKS.
I WANT TO BE SURE
THEY LEAD TO THE DINER.
WINTRY FEBRUARY
NIGHT, THE PRESENT.
A PHONE CALL FROM
A FRIGHTENED WOMAN
NOTATING THE ARRIVAL OF
AN UNIDENTIFIED FLYING OBJECT
THEN THE CHECK-OUT YOU WITNESSED
WITH TWO STATE TROOPERS
VERIFYING THE EVENT
BUT WITH NOTHING MORE
ENLIGHTENING TO ADD
BEYOND EVIDENCE OF SOME TRACKS
LEADING ACROSS THE
HIGHWAY TO A DINER.
YOU'VE HEARD OF TRYING TO
FIND A NEEDLE IN A HAYSTACK?
WELL, STAY WITH US AND YOU'LL
BE PART OF AN INVESTIGATING TEAM
WHOSE MISSION IS NOT TO
FIND THAT PROVERBIAL NEEDLE...
NO, THEIR TASK IS EVEN HARDER.
THEY'VE GOT TO FIND
A MARTIAN IN A DINER
AND IN JUST A MOMENT
YOU'LL SEARCH WITH THEM
BECAUSE YOU'VE JUST
LANDED IN THE TWILIGHT ZONE.
TROUBLE?
WHOSE BUS IS THIS OUT HERE?
Man: THAT'S MINE, OFFICER.
WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?
THE BRIDGE UP AHEAD
HAS BEEN DECLARED
TEMPORARILY IMPASSABLE.
ICE FLOE STACKED UP AGAINST IT.
ANOTHER POUND OF WEIGHT
AND IT COULD BE DRIFTWOOD.
THAT'S ROUGH.
CAN'T GO BACK.
THERE'S A SLIDE
UP AT THE TURNOFF.
BLOCKED THE WHOLE ROAD.
LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE MAROONED.
TILL MORNING, ANYWAY.
Man: TILL MORNING?
I'VE GOT TO BE IN
BOSTON AT 9:00 A.M.
Driver: YOU BETTER
START WALKING, MISTER
BECAUSE THAT BUS STAYS OUT
THERE UNTIL THEY FIX THE BRIDGE.
EITHER THAT OR HAVE THEM
DROP SOME SNOWSHOES.
SO YOU MIGHT AS WELL
ALL GET COMFORTABLE
AND GET A LITTLE
HOT FOOD IN YOU.
OH, THAT'S JUST GREAT.
THAT'S FINE, ISN'T IT?
GET COMFORTABLE AND
GET A LITTLE HOT FOOD IN YOU.
THAT'S PRECIOUS
LITTLE CONSOLATION
FOR MISSING MY
MEETING IN BOSTON.
THAT'S A FINE BUS
LINE YOU WORK FOR.
THEY CARE SO MUCH
ABOUT THEIR
SCHEDULES, DON'T THEY?
I WOULDN'T BE TOO HARD ON THEM.
THEY HAVE NO CONTROL
OVER THE SNOW, BRIDGES
THE SIDES OF HILLS THAT
DECIDE TO COME DOWN.
THAT'S PRETTY MUCH
OUT OF THEIR HANDS.
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
THEY WERE ALL ON
THE BUS, WEREN'T THEY?
WHAT'S THE TROUBLE? YOU
LOOKING FOR SOMEBODY?
DRIVER, UH... YOU GOT
A PASSENGER MANIFEST?
PASSENGER MANIFEST?
WHAT DO YOU THINK
I GOT PARKED OUT THERE, A 707?
THAT'S A 14-YEAR-OLD BUS
AND BUSINESS IS LOUSY.
MY BOSS WOULD RUN
RUM ACROSS THE BORDER
IF THERE WAS A PROFIT IN IT.
I DON'T ASK PASSENGERS
THEIR NAMES.
WE KISS THEM GENTLY
AND HELP THEM IN.
WE'RE THAT GLAD TO HAVE
THEM, WITH OR WITHOUT NAMES.
YOU KNOW HOW MANY YOU HAD?
SIX.
UNLESS ONE OF THEM
FELL OUT THE WINDOW
WHEN WE HIT A BUMP.
I PICKED UP SIX
AND I'M SUPPOSED TO DELIVER SIX.
NOBODY FELL OUT.
SOMEBODY MUST HAVE JUMPED IN.
THERE ARE SEVEN HERE NOW.
THAT'S FUNNY.
I KNOW I HAD SIX PEOPLE.
THANKS.
TELL ME, WAS THERE
ANYBODY IN HERE
BEFORE THE BUS STOPPED?
NO, I HAVEN'T SERVED ANYBODY
SINCE 11:00 THIS MORNING.
I FIGURED THIS WHOLE
BUNCH GOT OFF THE BUS.
WE DID... THERE WAS NO ONE
IN HERE WHEN WE CAME IN.
THEN HOW DO YOU
ACCOUNT FOR SEVEN PEOPLE?
THAT ONE BEATS ME.
ONE OF THEM DIDN'T
GET OFF THE BUS.
WHICH ONE OF YOU
WASN'T ON THE BUS?
WE WERE ALL ON THE BUS.
WHAT KIND OF INTERROGATION
IS THIS, ANYWAY?
IF WE'RE GOING TO BE GRILLED,
I WANT TO TALK TO A LAWYER.
THAT'S A GOOD ONE!
FIRST HE WANTS SNOWSHOES,
THEN HE WANTS A LAWYER.
I DON'T REMEMBER
SEEING YOU ON THE BUS.
THAT'S QUITE FUNNY
BECAUSE I DON'T REMEMBER
SEEING YOU NEITHER.
MAKES ONE OF
US A LIAR, DON'T IT?
THIS IS PREPOSTEROUS.
WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE
WHO WAS ON THE
BUS AND WHO WASN'T
OR WHETHER THERE
WERE SIX OR SEVEN OR 120?
IS THIS A DINER OR
GESTAPO HEADQUARTERS?
OH, NOW, TAKE IT EASY, MISTER.
WHAT'S IT ALL ABOUT?
DID YOU HEAR ANYTHING
FLYING OVER HERE TONIGHT?
FLYING OVER HERE?
NO, I HAVEN'T HEARD ANYTHING.
WE GOT A CALL ABOUT
TWO HOURS AGO.
WOMAN SAID SHE HEARD SOMETHING
FLY OVER AND THEN COME DOWN.
FLY OVER HERE?
FROM WHERE?
FROM UP THERE.
AN UNIDENTIFIED FLYING OBJECT.
UNIDENTIFIED FLYING OBJECT?
NOTHING'S COME DOWN
FROM UP THERE EXCEPT SNOW.
THAT'S ALL I'VE SEEN
FOR THE PAST 14 HOURS... SNOW.
WHERE DID SHE SAY IT CAME DOWN?
Padgett: CLOSE TO HERE.
LOOK, SOMETHING DID
LAND IN TRACY'S POND.
LEFT A TRAIL OF BROKEN BRANCHES
BEFORE IT HIT.
WE FOUND TRACKS
LEADING AWAY FROM IT.
TO WHERE?
TO HERE.
YOU MEAN SOMETHING
LANDED IN TRACY'S POND
AND THEN CAME IN HERE?
THAT'S CRAZY.
NOTHING'S COME IN HERE
SINCE 11:00 THIS MORNING.
NOTHING, EXCEPT...
Driver: EXCEPT ME
AND MY PASSENGERS.
ME AND SIX PEOPLE.
THAT MEANS THAT...
ONE PERSON HERE...
GEORGE, I DON'T LIKE THIS.
EASY, HONEY, EASY.
LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT.
YOU'RE TRYING TO TELL US
THAT THERE'S ONE PERSON IN HERE
WHO LANDED IN SOME
KIND OF A SAUCER
AND THEN CAME IN HERE?
CAME IN HERE WITH US?
WELL, THAT'S JUST NOT POSSIBLE.
WE'D HAVE SEEN THEM.
Man: NOT NECESSARILY.
IT'S SNOWING AND DARK.
WE CLIMBED OFF OF THAT BUS
WITH OUR EYES CLOSED
TO GET OUT OF THE SNOW.
ANYONE COULD HAVE COME IN WITH
US AND WE WOULDN'T HAVE NOTICED.
YOU WERE ALL ON
THE BUS TOGETHER.
YOU WOULD HAVE KNOWN WHO
THE OTHER PASSENGERS WERE.
Driver: THAT DON'T CUT ANY ICE.
THEY LOADED IN THE
SNOW AT HOOK'S LANDING.
TELL YOU THE TRUTH, I
DON'T KNOW WHO GOT ON.
SHE'S JUST LIKE A SCIENCE
FICTION, THAT'S WHAT SHE IS.
A REGULAR RAY BRADBURY.
SIX HUMANS AND ONE MONSTER
FROM OUTER SPACE...
YOU WOULDN'T
HAPPEN TO HAVE AN EYE
IN THE BACK OF YOUR
HEAD, WOULD YOU?
I FIND YOU OFFENSIVE,
YOU KNOW THAT?
WHAT DO YOU DO NOW, OFFICER?
LOOK, LADY, THIS ISN'T EXACTLY
PAR FOR OUR COURSES EITHER.
WE GO OFF ON A LOT OF NUTTY
ASSIGNMENTS BUT THIS ONE...
WOW.
WELL, I KNOW HOW YOU BEGIN.
YOU PAIR OFF THE COUPLES.
SINCE IT'S JUST ONE PERSON
WHO DOESN'T BELONG HERE, YOU...
YOU ELIMINATE THE COUPLES.
WE'RE EXONERATED.
CROSS US OFF.
WE'RE TWO OF THE HUMANS.
George: US, TOO MY WIFE AND I.
WE'RE IN THE CLEAR.
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
I... I COULD HAVE SWORN
YOU HAD A MOLE ON YOUR CHIN.
MOLE ON MY CHIN?
CONNIE, I'VE NEVER
HAD A MOLE ON MY CHIN.
I CAN TELL YOU WHAT'S
GOING TO HAPPEN.
WE'RE ALL GOING
TO GET SO PANICKY
THAT EVERYONE
WILL START PICKING UP
INVISIBLE CLUES
FROM EVERYBODY ELSE.
THIS IS NONSENSE.
OF COURSE IT'S NONSENSE
IF A HUSBAND AND
WIFE START WONDERING
WHETHER THE HUSBAND
IS REALLY THE HUSBAND
AND THE WIFE... IS...
NOW, WAIT A MINUTE.
23 YEARS IS LONG ENOUGH
FOR A WOMAN TO KNOW
WHO SHE'S MARRIED TO.
SO I'LL THANK YOU TO
STOP LOOKING AT ME
AS IF I'D JUST PUT ON THIS
FACE AS PART OF A COSTUME.
I LOVE THIS.
SHE DON'T KNOW WHO HE IS.
HE DON'T KNOW WHO SHE IS.
WE DON'T KNOW WHO SHE IS.
AND THIS LEMON-SUCKER HERE
HE'S THE MOST
SUSPICIOUS OF THE BUNCH.
YOU GOT A BACK
DOOR TO THIS PLACE?
SURE, WHY?
GO BACK THERE AND LOCK IT.
IT'S ALREADY LOCKED.
IF THAT CERTAIN SOMEBODY
REALLY IS FROM OUTER SPACE
THEY'LL JUST GO
THROUGH THE WALL.
Old man: CHECK THEM FOR WINGS!
CHECK THEM FOR WINGS!
LOOK UNDER THEIR COATS.
YOU GOT IDENTIFICATION, GRANDPA?
LEFT IT IN THE POND
IN MY SPACESHIP.
WHO WON THE WORLD
SERIES LAST YEAR?
WHAT IS THIS, A SORT OF
PROLONGED PRACTICAL JOKE?
I GET IT, I GET IT!
PITTSBURGH PIRATES WON IT.
TOOK FOUR OUT OF
SEVEN FROM THE YANKEES.
EH?
SHARP BOYS, REAL SHARP BOYS.
DIDN'T FIGURE US MARTIANS
WOULD KNOW NOTHING
ABOUT THE GREAT
AMERICAN PASTIME, DID YOU?
HUH? HUH!
YOU GOT IDENTIFICATION, MISS?
WELL, NO, AS A MATTER
OF FACT, I DON'T.
I LEFT MY WALLET... I
LEFT IT IN MY SUITCASE.
IT WAS SHIPPED ON AHEAD.
WHAT'S YOUR NAME, MISS?
ETHEL McCONNELL, I'M A
PROFESSIONAL DANCER.
HOW MANY LEGS?
HOW MANY LEGS?
I'M GOING TO BELT YOU, GRANDPA.
SHE WAS ON THE BUS.
HOW DO YOU KNOW?
SHE'S THE ONLY ONE I NOTICED.
WELL, THANK YOU.
BUT WHO NOTICED HIM?
HOW DO WE KNOW
YOU'RE THE SAME ONE
DRIVING THE BUS?
AIN'T NOBODY BEEN EXONERATED YET
THAT'S FOR SURE.
LET'S CUT THIS FARCE OUT.
WE'LL ALL SHOW
OUR IDENTIFICATIONS
AND PUT A STOP TO IT.
THE WHOLE THING'S RIDICULOUS.
THEN HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN
THE EXTRA PERSON IN HERE?
YES, HOW ABOUT THAT?
VERY SIMPLE.
THE DRIVER'S MISTAKEN.
SEVEN PEOPLE GOT ON THE BUS
AND HE THOUGHT
THERE WERE ONLY SIX.
IS THAT POSSIBLE?
NOT A CHANCE IN THE WORLD.
I COUNTED HEADS
BEFORE WE TOOK OFF.
THERE WERE SIX PEOPLE.
MISS...
WHAT CAUSED THAT?
WE, UH...
WE MAY GET A LAUGH
OUT OF ALL THIS
IN THE MORNING IN THE MEANTIME
EVERYONE STAY
RIGHT WHERE THEY ARE.
WHERE ARE THE TROOPERS?
HMM? OH, STEPPED OUTSIDE.
SNOW STOPPED.
SAY, HALEY... THAT
WASN'T YOUR GAG, WAS IT?
I MEAN, THE BUSINESS ABOUT
THE JUKEBOX STARTING LIKE THAT?
NOT ME. I'M STRICTLY SHORT
ORDERS AND PAY YOUR TAXES.
I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING
ABOUT SCIENCE FICTION.
A JUKEBOX IS A JUKEBOX,
AND IF THAT THING
WANTS TO START
UP ALL ON ITS OWN,
YOU'LL CHECK WITH AN
ELECTRICAL ENGINEER.
TAKE ME TO YOUR LEADER.
TAKE ME TO YOUR LEADER!
FIND ANYTHING?
NO.
TOOK A LOOK AT THE BRIDGE.
HOLDING UP WELL.
Driver: I KNOW THAT BRIDGE.
WHAT'S MORE, I DON'T TRUST IT.
WELL, THANK GOODNESS
WE NEEDN'T CONCERN OURSELVES
WITH YOUR JUDGMENT.
IF THE BRIDGE GETS A
CLEAN BILL OF HEALTH
YOU'LL DRIVE THAT
BUS RIGHT ACROSS IT.
LISTEN, YOU MAY BE
A BIG SHOT IN BOSTON
BUT WHEN IT COMES
TO BRIDGES AND BUSES
I GOT SENIORITY AND I TELL YOU
THAT BRIDGE IS SO OLD THAT...
HEY, WHAT IS THIS?
WHY DID THE LIGHTS
GO OUT LIKE THAT?
WE MAY BE LOSING POWER.
THIS IS WEIRD.
THIS IS JUST PLAIN WEIRD.
WELL, I WISH WHOEVER IT WAS
WOULD PLAY HIS CARDS RIGHT NOW.
WHY DON'T THEY DO SOMETHING?
WHAT'S THE POINT OF US
ALL STAYING COOPED UP
IN HERE LIKE THIS
AND... AND NOT...
THE POINT IS THIS, MISS.
WE'RE ALL KIDS IN A CLOSET HERE.
NOBODY UNDERSTANDS
WHAT'S GOING ON.
IF THERE WAS SOME KIND OF A
SAUCER THAT LANDED IN THAT POND
AND HE DID COME IN HERE
I THINK IT WOULD BE
A REAL HEALTHY IDEA
IF WE PINPOINTED THAT
PARTICULAR SOMEBODY
AND KEPT HIM FROM LEAVING.
Cook: MAKES SENSE.
MAYBE WHOEVER
IT IS IS INVISIBLE.
MAYBE THEY'RE PLAYING AROUND.
CAT AND MOUSE.
THAT IS CHILDISH NONSENSE.
IT'S AS GOOD AN EXPLANATION
AS ANY I'VE HEARD.
BUT WHAT IF THE...
THE THING DOESN'T SHOW ITSELF?
DO WE JUST SIT HERE
HOLDING OUR BREATH?
YES. HOW ABOUT THAT?
WELL, IF SOMEBODY
WAS TO ASK ME...
WELL, NO ONE DID ASK
YOU, AND NO ONE WILL.
WHY DON'T YOU LEAVE
THE OLD MAN ALONE.
WHO INVITED YOU INTO THIS?
WELL, I DIDN'T REALIZE WE
WERE WAITING FOR INVITATIONS,
BUT YOU'VE GOT THIS BIG THING
ABOUT BOSSING EVERYBODY AROUND.
LOOK, IT'S TOUGH ENOUGH
JUST SITTING HERE WITHOUT...
GET OVER THERE AND
SIT DOWN, GRAMPS.
YEAH.
WHAT'S THAT?
IT'S OKAY?
ALL RIGHT, THANKS.
THE BRIDGE IS OKAY.
WELL, IT'S ABOUT TIME.
SHALL WE GO?
WHAT DO YOU THINK, PERRY?
CAN'T HOLD THEM.
YOU'RE MAKING A
BIG MISTAKE, OFFICER.
BIG MISTAKE.
YOU'RE LETTING A MONSTER OUT.
THAT MAY WELL BE, OLD MAN.
MAY WELL BE.
CAN'T HOLD SOMEBODY
ON SUSPICION OF BEING A MONSTER.
YOU CAN ROLL THEM ANY TIME.
ALL RIGHT.
Driver: ARE THEY SURE
ABOUT THAT BRIDGE?
I DON'T LIKE THAT SUCKER.
SHE SWINGS IN THE WIND
AND SHE'S NOT A SUSPENSION.
THAT WAS THE COUNTY ENGINEER.
THE BRIDGE HAS BEEN CHECKED OUT
AND DECLARED PASSABLE.
WE'LL GO ON AHEAD,
CROSS THE BRIDGE FIRST.
YOU CAN PAY YOUR
CHECKS RIGHT OVER HERE
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.
GODSPEED AND A SAFE TRIP.
AND YOU ALL COME BACK
AND SEE US AGAIN, YOU HEAR?
THAT IS... ALL BUT ONE OF YOU.
NOW, YOU HAD THE CHILI, RIGHT?
THAT'S 90 CENTS.
THANK YOU.
AND YOU HAD, WHAT,
14 CUPS OF COFFEE
THAT WAS $1.40.
GOOD-BYE, OFFICER.
MISS McCONNELL.
WELL, I COUNTED SEVEN.
THAT'S RIGHT, SEVEN.
BETCHA BY THE TIME WE GET
TO BOSTON, THERE'LL BE 17.
SOMETHING FOR YOU?
COFFEE... BLACK.
ONE COFFEE, BLACK.
HEY, UH, DIDN'T YOU, UH...
WHAT I MEAN IS...
DIDN'T YOU GO OUT ON THAT BUS?
I DID INDEED.
OH, YES, I WENT OUT ON THAT BUS.
AND DO YOU KNOW SOMETHING?
THAT BRIDGE WASN'T SAFE.
IT COLLAPSED.
THE STATE POLICE CAR,
THE BUS, EVERYTHING
KERPLUNK, RIGHT INTO THE RIVER.
IT WAS A TERRIBLE SCENE.
NO ONE GOT OUT.
EXCEPT YOU.
EXCEPT ME.
LUCKY, I GUESS, HUH?
VERY LUCKY.
BUT... BUT... BUT... WHAT?
YOU'RE NOT EVEN WET.
WET... WHAT'S "WET?"
WHAT DO YOU MEAN "WHAT'S 'WET?'"
YOU LANDED IN THE RIVER BUT
YOUR CLOTHES ARE ALL DRY.
ILLUSION, THAT'S ALL.
JUST AN ILLUSION.
LIKE THAT JUKEBOX
PLAYING IN THE CORNER.
THAT'S AN ILLUSION, TOO.
OR, UH, THAT TELEPHONE RINGING.
THAT'S AN ILLUSION.
JUST A PARLOR TRICK.
WHAT ARE YOU, SOME
KIND OF MAGICIAN?
WHO, ME?
OH, HARDLY.
NOW, UH, BEFORE YOU,
UH, FAINT DEAD AWAY
I OUGHT TO EXPLAIN THAT
THE NAME ISN'T REALLY ROSS...
AND, UH, I WASN'T
REALLY GOING TO BOSTON.
NO, I WAS SENT AS A
KIND OF ADVANCE SCOUT.
YOU KNOW, THESE, UH...
CIGARETTES, DO YOU CALL THEM?
THEY TASTE WONDERFUL.
WE HAVEN'T GOT A
THING LIKE THIS ON MARS.
THAT'S INCIDENTALLY
WHERE I COME FROM.
WE'RE BEGINNING TO COLONIZE.
MY FRIENDS WILL BE
ARRIVING VERY SHORTLY.
I THINK THEY'RE
GOING TO LIKE IT HERE.
IT'S A LOVELY AREA.
SO... SO REMOTE, SO PLEASANT,
SO OFF THE BEATEN TRACK.
JUST THE PERFECT
SPOT FOR A COLONY
DON'T YOU THINK, MR. HALEY?
WHILE WE'RE WAITING
HOW ABOUT A LITTLE
WHAT YOU CALL MUSIC?
I DON'T MIND.
I HAVE TO DO A LITTLE
WAITING MYSELF.
YOU SEE, MR. ROSS...
MY NAME ISN'T HALEY.
AND I DO AGREE WITH YOU.
THIS IS AN EXTRAORDINARY
PLACE TO COLONIZE.
WE FOLKS ON VENUS
HAD THE SAME IDEA.
WE GOT IT SEVERAL YEARS AGO.
AND I THINK I REALLY
OUGHT TO TELL YOU NOW
THAT YOUR FRIENDS
ARE NOT COMING.
THEY'VE BEEN INTERCEPTED.
OH, A COLONY IS COMING.
BUT IT'S FROM VENUS.
AND IF YOU'RE STILL ALIVE...
I THINK YOU'LL SEE
HOW WE DIFFER.
AND I AGREE WITH YOU
ABOUT WHAT THEY CALL MUSIC.
WHY DON'T YOU PLAY SOME?
INCIDENT ON A SMALL ISLAND,
TO BE BELIEVED OR DISBELIEVED.
HOWEVER, IF A SOUR-FACED
DANDY NAMED ROSS
OR A BIG, GOOD-NATURED
COUNTERMAN WHO HANDLES A SPATULA
AS IF HE'D BEEN BORN
WITH ONE IN HIS MOUTH
IF EITHER OF THESE TWO ENTITIES
WALK ONTO YOUR PREMISES
YOU BETTER HOLD THEIR
HANDS... ALL THREE OF THEM...
OR CHECK THE COLOR OF
THEIR EYES... ALL THREE OF THEM.
THE GENTLEMEN IN QUESTION
MIGHT TRY TO PULL YOU
INTO THE TWILIGHT ZONE.
Announcer: ROD SERLING,
CREATOR OF THE TWILIGHT ZONE
WILL TELL YOU ABOUT
NEXT WEEK'S STORY
AFTER THIS WORD FROM
OUR ALTERNATE SPONSOR.
AND NOW, MR. SERLING.
MR. BURGESS MEREDITH IS NO
STRANGER TO THE TWILIGHT ZONE
BUT HIS ROLE IN
NEXT WEEK'S STORY
IS A UNIQUE ONE, EVEN FOR HIM.
THE TIME WILL BE THE FUTURE,
THE PLACE JUST ABOUT ANYWHERE
WHERE MEN HAVE BEEN TAKEN
OVER BY A MACHINE STATE.
OUR STORY IS CALLED
"THE OBSOLETE MAN."
IT MAY CHILL, IT MAY PROVOKE
BUT WE'RE RATHER CERTAIN
IT WILL LEAVE A MARK.
NEXT WEEK ON THE TWILIGHT
ZONE, "THE OBSOLETE MAN."
HI, THIS IS ED SULLIVAN
REMINDING YOU THAT THE
COLGATE-PALMOLIVE COMPANY
ALSO BRINGS YOU STAR-STUDDED
ENTERTAINMENT ON OUR SHOW
ON MOST OF THESE SAME STATIONS.