The Twilight Zone (1959–1964): Season 2, Episode 20 - Static - full transcript
Ed Lindsay has been living in the same boarding house for over 20 years and he has become an embittered old man. He doesn't like how the world has changed around him and his crotchety behavior has made him certainly the most disliked man there. When he turns on his old radio however, he gets music from the 1940's on a station that, it turns out, has been off the air for 15 years. There's a reason he hears the music however, a reason a fellow boarder reminds him of.
( eerie music)
YOU'RE TRAVELING
THROUGH ANOTHER DIMENSION
A DIMENSION NOT ONLY OF
SIGHT AND SOUND, BUT OF MIND
A JOURNEY INTO A WONDROUS LAND
WHOSE BOUNDARIES
ARE THAT OF IMAGINATION.
THAT'S THE SIGNPOST UP AHEAD.
YOUR NEXT STOP,
THE TWILIGHT ZONE.
( hoofbeats and gunfire on TV)
Man: All right, Lance,
move away from the bar.
I've had all I can take of you.
Lance: Whatever you say, Father.
Father: When you were a
boy, you hated your brother...
YOUR MOVE, PROFESSOR.
HOW'S THAT?
IT'S YOUR MOVE.
OH, YES, OF COURSE.
Father: You are filled
with hatred, Lance...
THAT'S MY PIECE, YOU'RE BLACK.
Father: Rebellion of
youth... OH, YES, YES.
Father: You're a man.
You're going to
have to face up to...
VERY GOOD, VERY GOOD JOB.
( cavalry trumpet
plays "Charge")
( muttering)
( guns firing)
Announcer: Green,
green cool grass.
The touch, the smell
of green, cool grass.
Now, brought to
you for the first time
In Green, the new
chlorophyll cigarette.
The smoke that doesn't
smell like tobacco
But smells good...
green, cool like grass.
Yes, Green is brought to you...
WHAT'S THE MATTER
WITH YOU, PROFESSOR?
WHAT'S THE MATTER
WITH ALL YOU PEOPLE?
ARE YOU HYPNOTIZED OR SOMETHING?
GOING OUT OF YOUR BLESSED MINDS?
IF YOU DON'T CARE FOR
OUR PROGRAM, MR. LINDSAY
YOU CAN REQUEST A
DIFFERENT CHANNEL.
WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES THAT
MAKE, WHAT CHANNEL YOU GOT?
The new chlorophyll cigarette
can make that statement.
Announcer: And it's
54, Termite Jones...
Lindsay: TERMITE
JONES, MY HERO...
TERMITE JONES.
HE MAKES IT, YOU...
( singing "Little Brown Jug")
Lindsay: THE PRETTIEST
SONG IN THE WORLD.
ISN'T THAT WONDERFUL?
JUST RUINING IT, COMPLETELY
RUINING A BEAUTIFUL SONG...
♪ Ho, ho, ho, you and me ♪
♪ Little brown jug,
how i love thee ♪
♪ Ho, ho, ho, you and me... ♪
If you act now, you can get
your acreage in Splendor Flats
for the fantastically
unbelievable price
of 25 cents an acre a week.
Just look at this land, folks.
It's flat, it's gray, it's
undeveloped, but...
IT'S UNDEVELOPED, BUT...
It will be a veritable
oasis... A VERIT...
AN OASIS, YES.
Announcer: Only
Green, the new Green...
OH, YES, LET'S ALL
ROLL IN THE GRASS
THE GREEN, COOL HILLS OF GRASS.
25 OPERATORS JUST WAITING
TO TAKE YOUR CALL, FOLKS.
( muttering)
HEY, MR. LINDSAY, WHAT'S THAT?
THAT'S A RADIO, BOY.
YEAH, WHAT'S IT DO?
DON'T YOU KNOW
WHAT A RADIO IS, BOY?
WELL, SURE, BUT I'VE NEVER
SEEN ONE LIKE THAT BEFORE.
Serling: NO ONE EVER
SAW ONE QUITE LIKE THAT.
BECAUSE THAT'S A VERY
SPECIAL SORT OF RADIO.
IN ITS DAY, CIRCA 1935
ITS TYPE WAS ONE OF THE MOST
ELEGANT CONSOLES ON THE MARKET.
NOW, WITH ITS
FABRIC-COVERED SPEAKERS
ITS PECULIAR YELLOW
DIAL, ITS SERRATED KNOBS
IT LOOKS QUAINT
AND A LITTLE STRANGE.
MR. ED LINDSAY IS GOING TO
FIND OUT HOW STRANGE VERY SOON
WHEN HE TUNES IN
TO THE TWILIGHT ZONE.
CAREFUL OF THAT DOOR. THAT'S IT.
WE'RE GOING TO TAKE IT
UP THESE STEPS HERE, BOY.
WELL, WHAT DO YOU GOT THERE, ED?
WHAT'S IT LOOK LIKE?
A RADIO.
NOW LET'S PUT IT DOWN HERE.
PUT IT DOWN, BOY.
I REMEMBER THAT.
I THOUGHT YOU'D
THROWN IT OUT YEARS AGO.
I NEVER THROW ANYTHING
AWAY THAT'S WORTH KEEPING.
NEED ANY HELP, ED?
OH, NO, NO, NO.
I WOULDN'T, I WOULDN'T WANT
TO DISTURB YOU, PROFESSOR.
PICK IT UP BY THE LEGS, BOY.
THAT'S IT. NOW, CAREFUL.
TAKE IT RIGHT. THAT'S
IT. THAT'S IT, BOY.
RIGHT UP HERE. THAT'S IT, BOY.
GOT TO PLUG IT IN HERE.
THINK IT STILL WORKS?
SURE. COURSE IT WORKS.
THEY MADE THINGS
TO LAST IN THOSE DAYS.
( radio plays rock
and roll music)
THAT'S PRETTY
WONDERFUL, ALL RIGHT.
( rock and roll music
continues playing)
GO BUY YOURSELF A SWITCHBLADE.
( rock and roll music
continues playing)
( static on radio)
( radio making eerie
noises while tuning)
( "Getting Sentimental
Over You" playing)
( romantic music continues)
( music continues)
Radio announcer: And
so, ladies and gentlemen
with the strains of "Getting
Sentimental Over You"
Tommy Dorsey and his orchestra
bid you all a very
pleasant good night
direct from the Princeton campus
in a broadcast of the
Summer Swing Festival
and listen to that applause.
But before we sign off,
we invite you to stay tuned
for Major Bowes and
his famous Amateur Hour.
( static)
Radio announcer: This is station
WPDA in Cedarburg, New Jersey
returning you to...
( radio tuning out of frequency)
Major Bowes: Good
evening, friends.
Once again, the wheel of chance
or faith, as you please,
is about to revolve.
And as the barker standing
at the wheel of fortune
says, "around, around she goes
"and where she
stops, nobody knows."
( knock on door)
Now, does anybody
know what will happen
when these young
people... ( static)
( knocking on door gets louder)
WELL, WHAT DO YOU WANT?
I JUST THOUGHT YOU'D LIKE
TO KNOW THAT DINNER'S READY.
I AIN'T HUNGRY.
YOU KNOW HOW MRS.
NIELSON FEELS ABOUT...
OH, ALL RIGHT, ALL
RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
EVER SINCE I CAN REMEMBER,
WOMEN HAVE BEEN RUNNING MY LIFE.
NOW DO THIS, DO THAT,
COME TO DINNER,
DON'T COME TO DINNER...
FRANKLY, MR. LINDSAY, I DON'T
CARE WHETHER YOU STARVE TO DEATH.
I JUST WANT TO MAKE
SURE THAT IT'S ON PURPOSE
AND NOT BECAUSE YOU'D
FORGOTTEN THAT FOOD IS AVAILABLE.
I'M NOT THAT OLD YET.
( Lindsay humming)
MR. LINDSAY.
WHAT?
YOU'RE HUMMING AT TABLE.
WHAT WAS THAT, ANYWAY?
WHAT?
THAT MELODY, IT WENT,
UM... ( both humming)
IT'S CALLED "I'M GETTING
SENTIMENTAL OVER YOU."
I HEARD IT ON THE
RADIO THIS AFTERNOON.
THAT'S AN OLD TUNE, ISN'T IT?
YEAH, TOMMY DORSEY, THEY...
PLAYING IT DIRECT
FROM THE... DIRECT?
TOMMY DORSEY'S DEAD.
YOU DON'T SAY.
YEAH, HE DIED A FEW YEARS AGO.
WHAT ABOUT MAJOR BOWES?
WHO?
MAJOR BOWES.
NEVER HEARD OF HIM.
NO, YOU WOULDN'T.
WELL, HE'S DEAD, TOO.
I HEARD BOTH MAJOR BOWES AND
TOMMY DORSEY THIS AFTERNOON
ON THE RADIO.
COULDN'T BE.
COULDN'T BE?
HOW IS IT A MAN WITH
SUCH A TINY BRAIN
COULD HAVE SUCH A BIG MOUTH?
NOW, WAIT JUST A MINUTE...
NOW, PLEASE, MR. BRAGG
I THINK WHAT MR. LINDSAY MEANS
OR WHAT HE'S TRYING TO SAY
IS THAT A LOCAL RADIO STATION
WAS BROADCASTING RECORDINGS
OF SOME OF THE OLD PROGRAMS.
THEY DIDN'T HAVE TAPE
BACK IN THOSE DAYS.
NO, BUT THEY DID HAVE
WIRE, AND BEFORE THAT, DISKS.
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT
ELSE THEY HAD...
GOOD MUSIC, HMM, PROFESSOR?
PLAYS THAT MEANT
SOMETHING, MAGIC, REAL MAGIC...
I DOUBT IT.
YOU DOUBT IT.
MR. BRAGG DOUBTS IT.
MR. BRAGG, WHO
WATCHES TELEVISION
UNTIL HIS BRAIN
TURNS INTO OATMEAL
AND HIS EYES ROLL DOWN
HIS FACE INTO HIS BEER...
MR. BRAGG, THE
MODERN MAN, DOUBTS IT.
( Bragg chuckling)
WELL, I'LL SHOW
YOU, I'LL SHOW YOU.
WHERE'S THAT PORTABLE RADIO?
REALLY, MR. LINDSAY...
WHERE IS THAT PORTABLE
RADIO? IN THE KITCHEN.
NOW, THAT GUY'S NUTS,
THAT'S ALL. HE'S NUTS.
OH, MISS BROWN,
YOU CAN THANK YOUR LUCKY
STARS YOU NEVER MARRIED THAT MAN.
NOW, MR. BRAGG, WE'LL SHOW YOU.
WE'LL JUST PROVE IT,
RIGHT HERE, RIGHT IN HERE.
( Lindsay unsuccessfully
tries to tune in station)
WELL, IT WAS RIGHT IN HERE.
( Bragg laughing)
I'M SORRY, I CAN'T WAIT.
GUNFIRE IS ON IN
EXACTLY FOUR MINUTES.
GUNFIRE, WE CAN'T MISS THAT.
ED, REMEMBER
WHAT STATION IT WAS?
THE STATION? NO, I, I...
YES, YES, YOU KNOW, THE
ANNOUNCER SAID SOMETHING
ABOUT... STATION
WPDA, THAT IT...
WHAT CAN YOU EXPECT ON A
DINKY LITTLE RADIO LIKE THIS, HMM?
WHY DON'T YOU
COME UP TO MY ROOM?
LISTEN TO IT ON A REAL RADIO.
COME ON.
COME ON, PROFESSOR.
LET'S GO UP, VINNIE.
I'D LIKE TO HEAR THAT PROGRAM.
( static on radio)
WELL, IT CERTAINLY
IS A HANDSOME THING.
( static on radio)
( switches radio off)
CAN'T SEEM TO GET IT.
MAYBE THEY'RE HAVING
TRANSMITTING TROUBLE.
WHY DON'T WE PHONE THE STATION?
THAT'S A GOOD IDEA.
THAT'S AN EXCELLENT IDEA.
LET'S GET HOLD OF
INFORMATION AND FIND OUT...
HERE, ED.
THANK YOU, PROFESSOR.
INFORMATION, WOULD YOU PLEASE
GIVE ME THE NUMBER OF WPDA?
THAT'S A RADIO STATION.
WPDA, YES, YES.
HEARD MAJOR BOWES.
YOU REMEMBER MAJOR BOWES, HMM?
"ROUND AND ROUND
SHE GOES, AND...
Both: AND WHERE SHE STOPS..."
UH, UH, YES... YES.
OH?
OH.
WELL, WHAT'D SHE SAY?
OH, THE OPERATOR SAID
ACCORDING TO HER SUPERVISOR
THAT WPDA HAD BEEN OUT
OF BUSINESS FOR 13 YEARS.
WELL, MAYBE YOU
HAD SOME OTHER STATE
OR EVEN ANOTHER COUNTRY.
THIS THING HAS
SHORTWAVE, DOESN'T IT?
UH, BUT THE ANNOUNCER SAID,
UH, CEDARBURG, CEDARBURG...
MAYBE IT'S...
IT ISN'T LISTED IN
THE RADIO SECTION.
I HEARD IT.
I HEARD IT, I KNOW I DID.
PROFESSOR, IS IT SO IMPOSSIBLE?
IMPOSSIBLE?
WELL, THAT'S A
DANGEROUS SORT OF A WORD
TO USE NOWADAYS, VINNIE.
WE TAKE THINGS FOR GRANTED TODAY
THAT WE CALLED IMPOSSIBLE
JUST A FEW YEARS AGO.
LET'S CALL IT HIGHLY UNLIKELY.
THEN WHAT DID I HEAR?
I DON'T KNOW, ED.
ED... ( static on radio)
PROFESSOR... PROFESSOR...
DO YOU REALLY THINK HE
HEARD THOSE PROGRAMS?
WELL, VINNIE I BELIEVE
HE THINKS HE DID.
( static and strange
tuning noises)
Now, we take you
directly to the White House
in Washington, DC, for
an address by the President
of the United States,
Franklin Delano Roosevelt.
Roosevelt: Since my annual message
to the Congress on January 4 last
I have not addressed the
general public over the air.
In the many weeks
since that time,
the Congress has devoted its...
( music swelling on television)
Lindsay: PROFESSOR! PROFESSOR!
VINNIE! VINNIE! I'VE GOT IT.
I'VE REALLY GOT IT.
COME QUICK. QUICK.
WHY BOTHER? YOU WON'T
HEAR NOTHING BUT STATIC.
OH, PROFESSOR, DON'T
ENCOURAGE THAT POOR MAN.
YEAH, BUT...
OH, HE'S GONE COMPLETELY
PSYCHOLOGICAL.
OH, MY.
( static on radio)
WELL, I'M SORRY, I'VE LOST IT.
IT WAS TOMMY DORSEY.
HE WAS PLAYING "I'M GETTING
SENTIMENTAL OVER YOU."
IT WAS SOFT AND
SLOW, REAL PRETTY.
BUT I'VE LOST IT.
WHY DO I LOSE IT EVERY TIME
SOMEBODY ELSE COMES AROUND?
WHY, PROFESSOR?
WELL, YOU JUST
KEEP ON TRYING, ED.
WE'RE BOUND TO
HEAR IT EVENTUALLY.
SURE, SURE... WE'RE,
WE'RE BOUND TO...
BOUND TO HEAR IT.
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
OH, NOTHING, ED.
I JUST THOUGHT WE MIGHT TALK.
DO YOU MIND?
NO, TALK AWAY, JUST
DON'T COME TOO CLOSE.
I MIGHT START CLIMBING THE WALLS
BARKING LIKE A DOG.
THAT'S WHAT YOU ALL THINK.
"POOR OLD ED, HE'S
GONE DING-DONG."
NO, THAT'S NOT WHAT I THINK.
IF YOU'LL SIT DOWN AND BE QUIET
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT I THINK.
SURE, I'LL... I'LL SIT.
RIGHT NOW, ED LINDSAY
YOU'RE JUST ABOUT
THE MEANEST, SOUREST
MOST CANTANKEROUS OLD
MAN ON THE FACE OF THE EARTH.
THANKS.
AND I'M NOT MUCH BETTER.
WE'VE BEEN LIVING
LIKE TWO HERMITS
UNDER THE SAME ROOF
FOR THE LAST 20 YEARS.
STARING AT EACH
OTHER EVERY MORNING
DAY IN, DAY OUT
20 LONG YEARS, WONDERING
WHAT WENT WRONG.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT
YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT...
OH, YES, YOU DO.
YOU KNOW EXACTLY
WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT
BUT YOU WON'T ADMIT IT.
WE WERE GOING TO BE MARRIED...
OH, FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE...
DON'T GET YOUR BACK UP.
I'M NOT TRYING TO
CHANGE ANYTHING.
I'M JUST TALKING.
WE MET IN THIS
BOARDING HOUSE IN 1940.
AND IT WAS HERE
THAT YOU PROPOSED.
I WANTED TO SET THE DATE
BUT YOUR MOTHER
WAS ILL, YOU REMEMBER
AND SO YOU DECIDED TO WAIT.
AND THAT'S JUST WHAT WE DID.
WE WAITED AND WAITED
UNTIL, BY THE TIME
YOUR MOTHER DIED...
IT WAS TOO LATE.
VINNIE, I'M NOT
GOING TO LISTEN TO...
DON'T INTERRUPT ME.
I'VE GOT TO GET THIS THING SAID.
OH, I KNOW YOU DON'T CARE
ANYTHING ABOUT ME NOW.
I'M JUST A SILLY WOMAN
WHO WATCHES TELEVISION
DYES HER HAIR, GROWS OLD.
YOU DON'T EVEN...
LIKE ME ANYMORE.
AND I DON'T BLAME YOU.
YOU'RE A BACHELOR
SET IN YOUR WAYS.
YOU CAN'T CHANGE WHAT YOU ARE
AND NEITHER CAN I.
WE HAD OUR CHANCE
AND MISSED IT, ED.
BUT I'LL TELL YOU
ONE THING THAT'S TRUE
AND I KNOW IT'S TRUE.
YOU DID LOVE ME
AS MUCH AS A MAN
EVER LOVED A WOMAN.
DIDN'T YOU?
YES, VINNIE.
THAT'S TRUE. I DID, YES.
AND NOW YOU LOVE WHAT WE WERE
WHAT WE MIGHT HAVE
BECOME TOGETHER.
SO JUST ABOUT THIS
TIME EVERY YEAR...
IT WOULD HAVE BEEN
OUR ANNIVERSARY...
YOU START GETTING UNHAPPY.
YOU WANT TO GO BACK TO 1940
AND START ALL OVER AGAIN.
WHY DO YOU THINK
YOU KEEP HEARING
"GETTING SENTIMENTAL
OVER YOU" ON THE RADIO?
THAT WAS OUR SONG, ED.
AND THOSE PROGRAMS...
WE USED TO LISTEN
TO THEM TOGETHER...
IN THE DARK.
I'D FORGOTTEN.
WHEN YOU HEAR THOSE PROGRAMS
YOU'RE LIKE A YOUNG MAN AGAIN
WITH ALL OF YOUR
LIFE AHEAD OF YOU
BUT IT ISN'T SO, ED.
IT'S ALL OVER BETWEEN US.
WE MISSED OUR CHANCE.
WE CAN'T GO BACK.
YOU THINK IT'S ALL IN
MY MIND, DON'T YOU?
YOU THINK I'M JUST
IMAGINING... ED.
THAT I HEAR THE RADIO.
THAT'S NOT TRUE AT ALL.
GET OUT OF HERE, VINNIE.
GET OUT OF HERE.
AND LET ME ALONE.
JUST LET ME ALONE.
( radio tuning and static)
Fred Allen: Well, Portland,
here we are back in Allen's Alley.
Say, the Senator's home tonight.
His hound dog is curled up
there under the porch, see it?
Man: Somebody, I
say, somebody knocked.
Drag-on's the name,
Senator Drag-on...
Allen: I know,
you're from Dixie.
Drag-on: When eat I crackers in
bed, I only eat Georgia crackers.
( radio audience laughing)
Drag-on: When I leave New
York Harbor, I take the South Ferry.
Allen: Now, wait a minute...
Drag-on: ♪ Way down
upon the Swanee River. ♪
I'm singing Swanee song!
Allen: Well, I know
what you're singing.
( doorbell rings)
DELIVERY BOY.
( chuckles)
( humming)
HOW ABOUT A GAME
OF CHECKERS, ED?
OH, NO, NO, NO.
"LET'S PRETEND" IS ON IN
FIVE MINUTES, THEN THERE'S...
WOULD YOU LIKE SOME LEMONADE?
LEMONADE? NOPE. NO, NO, NO.
SAY, WHAT'S THAT FUNNY
LOOKING THING, HUH?
YOU KNOW, WHEN I FIRST
STARTED LISTENING TO RADIO AGAIN
I KEPT WONDERING WHATEVER
HAPPENED TO THE PICTURE TUBE.
AND THEN I REMEMBERED: THE
PICTURE TUBE IS RIGHT HERE.
RADIO. I TELL YOU,
RADIO IS A WORLD
THAT HAS TO BE BELIEVED
TO BE SEEN, HMM?
( chuckles)
Lindsay: WHERE'S MY RADIO?
WHAT HAPPENED TO MY RADIO?
ED, BE REASONABLE.
DO YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT IT?
ED, CALM DOWN!
ED, I'LL TELL YOU.
OH, YOU'LL TELL ME?
I MIGHT HAVE KNOWN.
TAKE AWAY THE ONE THING THAT...
WELL, WHERE IS IT?
AT THE JUNK DEALER'S.
THE JUNK DEALER?
YOU GAVE MY RADIO
TO THE JUNK DEALER?!
HEY, WAIT A SECOND.
WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?
THIS IS PRIVATE PROPERTY.
WELL, THIS BELONGS TO ME.
OH, NO, IT DON'T.
WE PICKED THIS UP THIS MORNING.
NOW, IF YOU WANT TO BUY IT...
WELL, HOW MUCH, HOW MUCH?
OH, UH, TAKE A LOOK AT IT.
THAT'S A BEAUTIFUL
PIECE OF FURNITURE.
HOW MUCH?
TEN DOLLARS.
IT BETTER STILL WORK,
I CAN TELL YOU THAT.
BECAUSE IF IT DON'T,
IT'S GOING TO COST YOU.
IT'S GOING TO COST
A LOT OF PEOPLE
IF THIS DON'T STILL WORK.
( static on radio)
( radio tuning)
Radio announcer: Now, direct
from the Aragon Ballroom in Chicago
Tommy Dorsey and his band.
THANK GOD.
THANK GOD IT WORKS.
( "I'm Getting Sentimental
Over You" playing)
OH, VINNIE, VINNIE,
COME UP HERE, QUICK.
Vinnie: ED, WHAT'S...?
VINNIE, TOMMY DORSEY
FROM THE ARAGON BALLROOM.
I KNOW, DEAR, IT'S ON
THIS TIME EVERY THURSDAY.
AND THEN THERE'S ED
WYNN, AND FRED ALLEN, AND...
ED, WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU?
OH, VINNIE... VINNIE,
VINNIE, VINNIE.
DEAR, DEAR, VINNIE.
AROUND AND AROUND SHE GOES
AND WHERE SHE
STOPS, NOBODY KNOWS.
ALL ED LINDSAY KNOWS
IS THAT HE DESPERATELY
WANTED A SECOND CHANCE
AND HE FINALLY GOT IT
THROUGH A STRANGE AND WONDERFUL
TIME MACHINE CALLED A RADIO
IN THE TWILIGHT ZONE.
Announcer: BE SURE AND SEE THE
COLGATE-PALMOLIVE COMPANY'S
NEW COMEDY SHOW MY SISTER EILEEN
WEDNESDAY NIGHT ON MANY
OF THESE SAME STATIONS.
YOU'RE TRAVELING
THROUGH ANOTHER DIMENSION
A DIMENSION NOT ONLY OF
SIGHT AND SOUND, BUT OF MIND
A JOURNEY INTO A WONDROUS LAND
WHOSE BOUNDARIES
ARE THAT OF IMAGINATION.
THAT'S THE SIGNPOST UP AHEAD.
YOUR NEXT STOP,
THE TWILIGHT ZONE.
( hoofbeats and gunfire on TV)
Man: All right, Lance,
move away from the bar.
I've had all I can take of you.
Lance: Whatever you say, Father.
Father: When you were a
boy, you hated your brother...
YOUR MOVE, PROFESSOR.
HOW'S THAT?
IT'S YOUR MOVE.
OH, YES, OF COURSE.
Father: You are filled
with hatred, Lance...
THAT'S MY PIECE, YOU'RE BLACK.
Father: Rebellion of
youth... OH, YES, YES.
Father: You're a man.
You're going to
have to face up to...
VERY GOOD, VERY GOOD JOB.
( cavalry trumpet
plays "Charge")
( muttering)
( guns firing)
Announcer: Green,
green cool grass.
The touch, the smell
of green, cool grass.
Now, brought to
you for the first time
In Green, the new
chlorophyll cigarette.
The smoke that doesn't
smell like tobacco
But smells good...
green, cool like grass.
Yes, Green is brought to you...
WHAT'S THE MATTER
WITH YOU, PROFESSOR?
WHAT'S THE MATTER
WITH ALL YOU PEOPLE?
ARE YOU HYPNOTIZED OR SOMETHING?
GOING OUT OF YOUR BLESSED MINDS?
IF YOU DON'T CARE FOR
OUR PROGRAM, MR. LINDSAY
YOU CAN REQUEST A
DIFFERENT CHANNEL.
WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES THAT
MAKE, WHAT CHANNEL YOU GOT?
The new chlorophyll cigarette
can make that statement.
Announcer: And it's
54, Termite Jones...
Lindsay: TERMITE
JONES, MY HERO...
TERMITE JONES.
HE MAKES IT, YOU...
( singing "Little Brown Jug")
Lindsay: THE PRETTIEST
SONG IN THE WORLD.
ISN'T THAT WONDERFUL?
JUST RUINING IT, COMPLETELY
RUINING A BEAUTIFUL SONG...
♪ Ho, ho, ho, you and me ♪
♪ Little brown jug,
how i love thee ♪
♪ Ho, ho, ho, you and me... ♪
If you act now, you can get
your acreage in Splendor Flats
for the fantastically
unbelievable price
of 25 cents an acre a week.
Just look at this land, folks.
It's flat, it's gray, it's
undeveloped, but...
IT'S UNDEVELOPED, BUT...
It will be a veritable
oasis... A VERIT...
AN OASIS, YES.
Announcer: Only
Green, the new Green...
OH, YES, LET'S ALL
ROLL IN THE GRASS
THE GREEN, COOL HILLS OF GRASS.
25 OPERATORS JUST WAITING
TO TAKE YOUR CALL, FOLKS.
( muttering)
HEY, MR. LINDSAY, WHAT'S THAT?
THAT'S A RADIO, BOY.
YEAH, WHAT'S IT DO?
DON'T YOU KNOW
WHAT A RADIO IS, BOY?
WELL, SURE, BUT I'VE NEVER
SEEN ONE LIKE THAT BEFORE.
Serling: NO ONE EVER
SAW ONE QUITE LIKE THAT.
BECAUSE THAT'S A VERY
SPECIAL SORT OF RADIO.
IN ITS DAY, CIRCA 1935
ITS TYPE WAS ONE OF THE MOST
ELEGANT CONSOLES ON THE MARKET.
NOW, WITH ITS
FABRIC-COVERED SPEAKERS
ITS PECULIAR YELLOW
DIAL, ITS SERRATED KNOBS
IT LOOKS QUAINT
AND A LITTLE STRANGE.
MR. ED LINDSAY IS GOING TO
FIND OUT HOW STRANGE VERY SOON
WHEN HE TUNES IN
TO THE TWILIGHT ZONE.
CAREFUL OF THAT DOOR. THAT'S IT.
WE'RE GOING TO TAKE IT
UP THESE STEPS HERE, BOY.
WELL, WHAT DO YOU GOT THERE, ED?
WHAT'S IT LOOK LIKE?
A RADIO.
NOW LET'S PUT IT DOWN HERE.
PUT IT DOWN, BOY.
I REMEMBER THAT.
I THOUGHT YOU'D
THROWN IT OUT YEARS AGO.
I NEVER THROW ANYTHING
AWAY THAT'S WORTH KEEPING.
NEED ANY HELP, ED?
OH, NO, NO, NO.
I WOULDN'T, I WOULDN'T WANT
TO DISTURB YOU, PROFESSOR.
PICK IT UP BY THE LEGS, BOY.
THAT'S IT. NOW, CAREFUL.
TAKE IT RIGHT. THAT'S
IT. THAT'S IT, BOY.
RIGHT UP HERE. THAT'S IT, BOY.
GOT TO PLUG IT IN HERE.
THINK IT STILL WORKS?
SURE. COURSE IT WORKS.
THEY MADE THINGS
TO LAST IN THOSE DAYS.
( radio plays rock
and roll music)
THAT'S PRETTY
WONDERFUL, ALL RIGHT.
( rock and roll music
continues playing)
GO BUY YOURSELF A SWITCHBLADE.
( rock and roll music
continues playing)
( static on radio)
( radio making eerie
noises while tuning)
( "Getting Sentimental
Over You" playing)
( romantic music continues)
( music continues)
Radio announcer: And
so, ladies and gentlemen
with the strains of "Getting
Sentimental Over You"
Tommy Dorsey and his orchestra
bid you all a very
pleasant good night
direct from the Princeton campus
in a broadcast of the
Summer Swing Festival
and listen to that applause.
But before we sign off,
we invite you to stay tuned
for Major Bowes and
his famous Amateur Hour.
( static)
Radio announcer: This is station
WPDA in Cedarburg, New Jersey
returning you to...
( radio tuning out of frequency)
Major Bowes: Good
evening, friends.
Once again, the wheel of chance
or faith, as you please,
is about to revolve.
And as the barker standing
at the wheel of fortune
says, "around, around she goes
"and where she
stops, nobody knows."
( knock on door)
Now, does anybody
know what will happen
when these young
people... ( static)
( knocking on door gets louder)
WELL, WHAT DO YOU WANT?
I JUST THOUGHT YOU'D LIKE
TO KNOW THAT DINNER'S READY.
I AIN'T HUNGRY.
YOU KNOW HOW MRS.
NIELSON FEELS ABOUT...
OH, ALL RIGHT, ALL
RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
EVER SINCE I CAN REMEMBER,
WOMEN HAVE BEEN RUNNING MY LIFE.
NOW DO THIS, DO THAT,
COME TO DINNER,
DON'T COME TO DINNER...
FRANKLY, MR. LINDSAY, I DON'T
CARE WHETHER YOU STARVE TO DEATH.
I JUST WANT TO MAKE
SURE THAT IT'S ON PURPOSE
AND NOT BECAUSE YOU'D
FORGOTTEN THAT FOOD IS AVAILABLE.
I'M NOT THAT OLD YET.
( Lindsay humming)
MR. LINDSAY.
WHAT?
YOU'RE HUMMING AT TABLE.
WHAT WAS THAT, ANYWAY?
WHAT?
THAT MELODY, IT WENT,
UM... ( both humming)
IT'S CALLED "I'M GETTING
SENTIMENTAL OVER YOU."
I HEARD IT ON THE
RADIO THIS AFTERNOON.
THAT'S AN OLD TUNE, ISN'T IT?
YEAH, TOMMY DORSEY, THEY...
PLAYING IT DIRECT
FROM THE... DIRECT?
TOMMY DORSEY'S DEAD.
YOU DON'T SAY.
YEAH, HE DIED A FEW YEARS AGO.
WHAT ABOUT MAJOR BOWES?
WHO?
MAJOR BOWES.
NEVER HEARD OF HIM.
NO, YOU WOULDN'T.
WELL, HE'S DEAD, TOO.
I HEARD BOTH MAJOR BOWES AND
TOMMY DORSEY THIS AFTERNOON
ON THE RADIO.
COULDN'T BE.
COULDN'T BE?
HOW IS IT A MAN WITH
SUCH A TINY BRAIN
COULD HAVE SUCH A BIG MOUTH?
NOW, WAIT JUST A MINUTE...
NOW, PLEASE, MR. BRAGG
I THINK WHAT MR. LINDSAY MEANS
OR WHAT HE'S TRYING TO SAY
IS THAT A LOCAL RADIO STATION
WAS BROADCASTING RECORDINGS
OF SOME OF THE OLD PROGRAMS.
THEY DIDN'T HAVE TAPE
BACK IN THOSE DAYS.
NO, BUT THEY DID HAVE
WIRE, AND BEFORE THAT, DISKS.
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT
ELSE THEY HAD...
GOOD MUSIC, HMM, PROFESSOR?
PLAYS THAT MEANT
SOMETHING, MAGIC, REAL MAGIC...
I DOUBT IT.
YOU DOUBT IT.
MR. BRAGG DOUBTS IT.
MR. BRAGG, WHO
WATCHES TELEVISION
UNTIL HIS BRAIN
TURNS INTO OATMEAL
AND HIS EYES ROLL DOWN
HIS FACE INTO HIS BEER...
MR. BRAGG, THE
MODERN MAN, DOUBTS IT.
( Bragg chuckling)
WELL, I'LL SHOW
YOU, I'LL SHOW YOU.
WHERE'S THAT PORTABLE RADIO?
REALLY, MR. LINDSAY...
WHERE IS THAT PORTABLE
RADIO? IN THE KITCHEN.
NOW, THAT GUY'S NUTS,
THAT'S ALL. HE'S NUTS.
OH, MISS BROWN,
YOU CAN THANK YOUR LUCKY
STARS YOU NEVER MARRIED THAT MAN.
NOW, MR. BRAGG, WE'LL SHOW YOU.
WE'LL JUST PROVE IT,
RIGHT HERE, RIGHT IN HERE.
( Lindsay unsuccessfully
tries to tune in station)
WELL, IT WAS RIGHT IN HERE.
( Bragg laughing)
I'M SORRY, I CAN'T WAIT.
GUNFIRE IS ON IN
EXACTLY FOUR MINUTES.
GUNFIRE, WE CAN'T MISS THAT.
ED, REMEMBER
WHAT STATION IT WAS?
THE STATION? NO, I, I...
YES, YES, YOU KNOW, THE
ANNOUNCER SAID SOMETHING
ABOUT... STATION
WPDA, THAT IT...
WHAT CAN YOU EXPECT ON A
DINKY LITTLE RADIO LIKE THIS, HMM?
WHY DON'T YOU
COME UP TO MY ROOM?
LISTEN TO IT ON A REAL RADIO.
COME ON.
COME ON, PROFESSOR.
LET'S GO UP, VINNIE.
I'D LIKE TO HEAR THAT PROGRAM.
( static on radio)
WELL, IT CERTAINLY
IS A HANDSOME THING.
( static on radio)
( switches radio off)
CAN'T SEEM TO GET IT.
MAYBE THEY'RE HAVING
TRANSMITTING TROUBLE.
WHY DON'T WE PHONE THE STATION?
THAT'S A GOOD IDEA.
THAT'S AN EXCELLENT IDEA.
LET'S GET HOLD OF
INFORMATION AND FIND OUT...
HERE, ED.
THANK YOU, PROFESSOR.
INFORMATION, WOULD YOU PLEASE
GIVE ME THE NUMBER OF WPDA?
THAT'S A RADIO STATION.
WPDA, YES, YES.
HEARD MAJOR BOWES.
YOU REMEMBER MAJOR BOWES, HMM?
"ROUND AND ROUND
SHE GOES, AND...
Both: AND WHERE SHE STOPS..."
UH, UH, YES... YES.
OH?
OH.
WELL, WHAT'D SHE SAY?
OH, THE OPERATOR SAID
ACCORDING TO HER SUPERVISOR
THAT WPDA HAD BEEN OUT
OF BUSINESS FOR 13 YEARS.
WELL, MAYBE YOU
HAD SOME OTHER STATE
OR EVEN ANOTHER COUNTRY.
THIS THING HAS
SHORTWAVE, DOESN'T IT?
UH, BUT THE ANNOUNCER SAID,
UH, CEDARBURG, CEDARBURG...
MAYBE IT'S...
IT ISN'T LISTED IN
THE RADIO SECTION.
I HEARD IT.
I HEARD IT, I KNOW I DID.
PROFESSOR, IS IT SO IMPOSSIBLE?
IMPOSSIBLE?
WELL, THAT'S A
DANGEROUS SORT OF A WORD
TO USE NOWADAYS, VINNIE.
WE TAKE THINGS FOR GRANTED TODAY
THAT WE CALLED IMPOSSIBLE
JUST A FEW YEARS AGO.
LET'S CALL IT HIGHLY UNLIKELY.
THEN WHAT DID I HEAR?
I DON'T KNOW, ED.
ED... ( static on radio)
PROFESSOR... PROFESSOR...
DO YOU REALLY THINK HE
HEARD THOSE PROGRAMS?
WELL, VINNIE I BELIEVE
HE THINKS HE DID.
( static and strange
tuning noises)
Now, we take you
directly to the White House
in Washington, DC, for
an address by the President
of the United States,
Franklin Delano Roosevelt.
Roosevelt: Since my annual message
to the Congress on January 4 last
I have not addressed the
general public over the air.
In the many weeks
since that time,
the Congress has devoted its...
( music swelling on television)
Lindsay: PROFESSOR! PROFESSOR!
VINNIE! VINNIE! I'VE GOT IT.
I'VE REALLY GOT IT.
COME QUICK. QUICK.
WHY BOTHER? YOU WON'T
HEAR NOTHING BUT STATIC.
OH, PROFESSOR, DON'T
ENCOURAGE THAT POOR MAN.
YEAH, BUT...
OH, HE'S GONE COMPLETELY
PSYCHOLOGICAL.
OH, MY.
( static on radio)
WELL, I'M SORRY, I'VE LOST IT.
IT WAS TOMMY DORSEY.
HE WAS PLAYING "I'M GETTING
SENTIMENTAL OVER YOU."
IT WAS SOFT AND
SLOW, REAL PRETTY.
BUT I'VE LOST IT.
WHY DO I LOSE IT EVERY TIME
SOMEBODY ELSE COMES AROUND?
WHY, PROFESSOR?
WELL, YOU JUST
KEEP ON TRYING, ED.
WE'RE BOUND TO
HEAR IT EVENTUALLY.
SURE, SURE... WE'RE,
WE'RE BOUND TO...
BOUND TO HEAR IT.
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
OH, NOTHING, ED.
I JUST THOUGHT WE MIGHT TALK.
DO YOU MIND?
NO, TALK AWAY, JUST
DON'T COME TOO CLOSE.
I MIGHT START CLIMBING THE WALLS
BARKING LIKE A DOG.
THAT'S WHAT YOU ALL THINK.
"POOR OLD ED, HE'S
GONE DING-DONG."
NO, THAT'S NOT WHAT I THINK.
IF YOU'LL SIT DOWN AND BE QUIET
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT I THINK.
SURE, I'LL... I'LL SIT.
RIGHT NOW, ED LINDSAY
YOU'RE JUST ABOUT
THE MEANEST, SOUREST
MOST CANTANKEROUS OLD
MAN ON THE FACE OF THE EARTH.
THANKS.
AND I'M NOT MUCH BETTER.
WE'VE BEEN LIVING
LIKE TWO HERMITS
UNDER THE SAME ROOF
FOR THE LAST 20 YEARS.
STARING AT EACH
OTHER EVERY MORNING
DAY IN, DAY OUT
20 LONG YEARS, WONDERING
WHAT WENT WRONG.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT
YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT...
OH, YES, YOU DO.
YOU KNOW EXACTLY
WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT
BUT YOU WON'T ADMIT IT.
WE WERE GOING TO BE MARRIED...
OH, FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE...
DON'T GET YOUR BACK UP.
I'M NOT TRYING TO
CHANGE ANYTHING.
I'M JUST TALKING.
WE MET IN THIS
BOARDING HOUSE IN 1940.
AND IT WAS HERE
THAT YOU PROPOSED.
I WANTED TO SET THE DATE
BUT YOUR MOTHER
WAS ILL, YOU REMEMBER
AND SO YOU DECIDED TO WAIT.
AND THAT'S JUST WHAT WE DID.
WE WAITED AND WAITED
UNTIL, BY THE TIME
YOUR MOTHER DIED...
IT WAS TOO LATE.
VINNIE, I'M NOT
GOING TO LISTEN TO...
DON'T INTERRUPT ME.
I'VE GOT TO GET THIS THING SAID.
OH, I KNOW YOU DON'T CARE
ANYTHING ABOUT ME NOW.
I'M JUST A SILLY WOMAN
WHO WATCHES TELEVISION
DYES HER HAIR, GROWS OLD.
YOU DON'T EVEN...
LIKE ME ANYMORE.
AND I DON'T BLAME YOU.
YOU'RE A BACHELOR
SET IN YOUR WAYS.
YOU CAN'T CHANGE WHAT YOU ARE
AND NEITHER CAN I.
WE HAD OUR CHANCE
AND MISSED IT, ED.
BUT I'LL TELL YOU
ONE THING THAT'S TRUE
AND I KNOW IT'S TRUE.
YOU DID LOVE ME
AS MUCH AS A MAN
EVER LOVED A WOMAN.
DIDN'T YOU?
YES, VINNIE.
THAT'S TRUE. I DID, YES.
AND NOW YOU LOVE WHAT WE WERE
WHAT WE MIGHT HAVE
BECOME TOGETHER.
SO JUST ABOUT THIS
TIME EVERY YEAR...
IT WOULD HAVE BEEN
OUR ANNIVERSARY...
YOU START GETTING UNHAPPY.
YOU WANT TO GO BACK TO 1940
AND START ALL OVER AGAIN.
WHY DO YOU THINK
YOU KEEP HEARING
"GETTING SENTIMENTAL
OVER YOU" ON THE RADIO?
THAT WAS OUR SONG, ED.
AND THOSE PROGRAMS...
WE USED TO LISTEN
TO THEM TOGETHER...
IN THE DARK.
I'D FORGOTTEN.
WHEN YOU HEAR THOSE PROGRAMS
YOU'RE LIKE A YOUNG MAN AGAIN
WITH ALL OF YOUR
LIFE AHEAD OF YOU
BUT IT ISN'T SO, ED.
IT'S ALL OVER BETWEEN US.
WE MISSED OUR CHANCE.
WE CAN'T GO BACK.
YOU THINK IT'S ALL IN
MY MIND, DON'T YOU?
YOU THINK I'M JUST
IMAGINING... ED.
THAT I HEAR THE RADIO.
THAT'S NOT TRUE AT ALL.
GET OUT OF HERE, VINNIE.
GET OUT OF HERE.
AND LET ME ALONE.
JUST LET ME ALONE.
( radio tuning and static)
Fred Allen: Well, Portland,
here we are back in Allen's Alley.
Say, the Senator's home tonight.
His hound dog is curled up
there under the porch, see it?
Man: Somebody, I
say, somebody knocked.
Drag-on's the name,
Senator Drag-on...
Allen: I know,
you're from Dixie.
Drag-on: When eat I crackers in
bed, I only eat Georgia crackers.
( radio audience laughing)
Drag-on: When I leave New
York Harbor, I take the South Ferry.
Allen: Now, wait a minute...
Drag-on: ♪ Way down
upon the Swanee River. ♪
I'm singing Swanee song!
Allen: Well, I know
what you're singing.
( doorbell rings)
DELIVERY BOY.
( chuckles)
( humming)
HOW ABOUT A GAME
OF CHECKERS, ED?
OH, NO, NO, NO.
"LET'S PRETEND" IS ON IN
FIVE MINUTES, THEN THERE'S...
WOULD YOU LIKE SOME LEMONADE?
LEMONADE? NOPE. NO, NO, NO.
SAY, WHAT'S THAT FUNNY
LOOKING THING, HUH?
YOU KNOW, WHEN I FIRST
STARTED LISTENING TO RADIO AGAIN
I KEPT WONDERING WHATEVER
HAPPENED TO THE PICTURE TUBE.
AND THEN I REMEMBERED: THE
PICTURE TUBE IS RIGHT HERE.
RADIO. I TELL YOU,
RADIO IS A WORLD
THAT HAS TO BE BELIEVED
TO BE SEEN, HMM?
( chuckles)
Lindsay: WHERE'S MY RADIO?
WHAT HAPPENED TO MY RADIO?
ED, BE REASONABLE.
DO YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT IT?
ED, CALM DOWN!
ED, I'LL TELL YOU.
OH, YOU'LL TELL ME?
I MIGHT HAVE KNOWN.
TAKE AWAY THE ONE THING THAT...
WELL, WHERE IS IT?
AT THE JUNK DEALER'S.
THE JUNK DEALER?
YOU GAVE MY RADIO
TO THE JUNK DEALER?!
HEY, WAIT A SECOND.
WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?
THIS IS PRIVATE PROPERTY.
WELL, THIS BELONGS TO ME.
OH, NO, IT DON'T.
WE PICKED THIS UP THIS MORNING.
NOW, IF YOU WANT TO BUY IT...
WELL, HOW MUCH, HOW MUCH?
OH, UH, TAKE A LOOK AT IT.
THAT'S A BEAUTIFUL
PIECE OF FURNITURE.
HOW MUCH?
TEN DOLLARS.
IT BETTER STILL WORK,
I CAN TELL YOU THAT.
BECAUSE IF IT DON'T,
IT'S GOING TO COST YOU.
IT'S GOING TO COST
A LOT OF PEOPLE
IF THIS DON'T STILL WORK.
( static on radio)
( radio tuning)
Radio announcer: Now, direct
from the Aragon Ballroom in Chicago
Tommy Dorsey and his band.
THANK GOD.
THANK GOD IT WORKS.
( "I'm Getting Sentimental
Over You" playing)
OH, VINNIE, VINNIE,
COME UP HERE, QUICK.
Vinnie: ED, WHAT'S...?
VINNIE, TOMMY DORSEY
FROM THE ARAGON BALLROOM.
I KNOW, DEAR, IT'S ON
THIS TIME EVERY THURSDAY.
AND THEN THERE'S ED
WYNN, AND FRED ALLEN, AND...
ED, WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU?
OH, VINNIE... VINNIE,
VINNIE, VINNIE.
DEAR, DEAR, VINNIE.
AROUND AND AROUND SHE GOES
AND WHERE SHE
STOPS, NOBODY KNOWS.
ALL ED LINDSAY KNOWS
IS THAT HE DESPERATELY
WANTED A SECOND CHANCE
AND HE FINALLY GOT IT
THROUGH A STRANGE AND WONDERFUL
TIME MACHINE CALLED A RADIO
IN THE TWILIGHT ZONE.
Announcer: BE SURE AND SEE THE
COLGATE-PALMOLIVE COMPANY'S
NEW COMEDY SHOW MY SISTER EILEEN
WEDNESDAY NIGHT ON MANY
OF THESE SAME STATIONS.