The Twilight Zone (1959–1964): Season 2, Episode 2 - The Man in the Bottle - full transcript
A luckless couple stumbles upon fortune when a genie materializes from a bottle in their antique shop. The genie grants them four wishes but warns them, prophetically, to be careful what you wish for.
( eerie music)
YOU'RE TRAVELING THROUGH
ANOTHER DIMENSION...
A DIMENSION NOT ONLY OF
SIGHT AND SOUND, BUT OF MIND.
A JOURNEY INTO A WONDROUS
LAND OF IMAGINATION.
NEXT STOP, THE TWILIGHT ZONE.
( cat meows)
EDNA.
HUH?
WHAT ABOUT GAS AND ELECTRIC?
WHAT?
THE GAS AND ELECTRIC BILL.
HOW MANY MONTHS IS THAT?
FOUR MONTHS.
THAT'S ONE YOU BETTER PAY.
HUH. THAT'S ONE I CAN'T PAY.
OH, I WISH... ( bell rings)
HOW ARE YOU, MRS. GUMLEY?
OH, JUST FINE, MR. CASTLE.
HOW HAVE YOU BEEN?
OH, CAN'T COMPLAIN.
BEEN HAVING A LOT
OF RAIN, HAVEN'T WE?
QUITE A BIT OF RAIN FOR
THIS TIME OF THE YEAR.
REALLY.
IT'S GOOD FOR THE FLOWERS.
HOW'S THAT?
AN HEIRLOOM TODAY, MR. CASTLE.
AN HEIRLOOM, MRS. GUMLEY?
OH, YES, MR. CASTLE.
BEEN IN MY FAMILY
FOR YEARS AND YEARS.
IT'S SUPPOSED TO
BE VERY VALUABLE.
HAND-BLOWN GLASS IS WHAT IT IS.
REALLY?
UH-HUH.
MRS. GUMLEY, IT'S JUST
A PLAIN OLD WINE BOTTLE.
DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT'S WORTH?
NOTHING.
IF YOU COULD FIND THE
STORE WHERE IT CAME FROM,
THAT'S WHAT THEY WOULD
GIVE YOU FOR IT, MRS. GUMLEY...
NOTHING.
I... I COULD LET IT
GO FOR A DOLLAR.
MRS. GUMLEY, IF I
COULD SPARE A DOLLAR,
I'D GIVE IT TO YOU,
BELIEVE ME I WOULD, BUT...
WELL, THINGS HAVE
BEEN ROUGH HERE.
I'M SO IN DEBT MYSELF...
( register bell rings)
I WISH I COULD MAKE
IT MORE, I REALLY DO.
THANK YOU, MR. CASTLE.
YOU'RE A WONDERFUL MAN.
GOD BLESS YOU.
( doorbell rings)
MR. CASTLE...
IT'S NOT AN HEIRLOOM, YOU KNOW.
I FOUND IT IN AN ASH CAN.
PLEASE, MR. CASTLE,
FORGIVE ME FOR LYING.
AW, THAT'S ALL
RIGHT, MRS. GUMLEY.
WHO KNOWS? MAYBE IT'LL
TURN OUT TO BE AN HEIRLOOM.
YEAH.
THANK YOU.
( bell rings)
GORGEOUS.
SHE HAS TO EAT, DOESN'T SHE?
YOU DON'T?
ARTHUR... WE'RE JUST
AROUND THE CORNER
FROM BANKRUPTCY.
YOU PROMISED ME,
NO MORE HANDOUTS.
LOOK, EDNA, MAYBE
ALL I'VE GOT LEFT
IS TO TRY TO FIND SOME POOR
CLOD WHO I COULD FEEL SORRY FOR.
MAYBE A MAN CAN BE A FAILURE
FOR ONLY SO LONG,
AND THEN... AND THEN...
AND THEN IT CATCHES UP WITH HIM.
LOOK AT IT, EDNA!
LOOK AT IT!
THE LEGACY OF A HUNDRED YEARS.
MY GRANDFATHER OWNED
IT, AND IT BROKE HIS HEART.
AND THEN, MY FATHER...
IT KILLED HIM, TOO.
LOOK AT IT. LOOK AT IT.
THE MEANNESS OF IT,
THE SHABBINESS OF IT,
THE HAND-TO-MOUTH OF IT!
IT ISN'T JUST AN ANTIQUE SHOP
WHERE YOU PICK UP
THE PITIFUL REMNANTS
OF OTHER PEOPLE'S FAILURES.
IT'S A SHRINE TO FAILURE
ITSELF, THAT'S WHAT IT IS!
IT'S A MAUSOLEUM, A
BURIAL GROUND FOR...
FOR PEOPLE'S HOPES.
EDNA, WHAT HAPPENS TO US ANYWAY?
WHAT HAPPENS TO US?
WE'RE NOT OLD PEOPLE,
AND YET THIS PLACE
IS MAKING US OLD.
THERE MUST BE YEARS AHEAD OF US
THAT COME WITHOUT
SCRIMPING AND COUNTING,
AND PICKING OVER
CHECKBOOKS AND BUDGETS
AND FINAL NOTICES AND OLD BILLS.
HEY... HEY!
MR. AND MRS. ARTHUR CASTLE...
GENTLE AND INFINITELY
PATIENT PEOPLE
WHOSE LIVES HAVE
BEEN A HOPE CHEST
WITH A RUSTY LOCK
AND A LOST SET OF KEYS.
BUT, IN JUST A MOMENT, THAT
HOPE CHEST WILL BE OPENED,
AND AN IMPROBABLE PHANTOM
WILL TRY TO BEDECK THE DRABNESS
OF THESE TWO PEOPLE'S
FAILURE-LADEN LIVES
WITH THE GOLD AND PRECIOUS
STONES OF FULFILLMENT.
MR. AND MRS. ARTHUR CASTLE,
STANDING ON THE OUTSKIRTS,
AND ABOUT TO ENTER,
THE TWILIGHT ZONE.
HOW DO YOU DO?
RATHER THAN GO INTO ANY
LENGTHY GENERIC EXPLANATION
OF MY EXISTENCE, SUFFICE
IT TO SAY THAT I AM A GENIE.
THAT'S QUITE CORRECT.
A GENIE.
I CAN OFFER YOU FOUR WISHES
WITH A GUARANTEED PERFORMANCE.
WELL, MR. CASTLE?
MRS. CASTLE?
WHAT HAVE YOU IN MIND?
ARTHUR, WHAT'S HAPPENING TO US?
HE'S A HYPNOTIST OR SOMETHING.
NOTHING OF THE SORT.
I GRANT FOUR
WISHES TO THE OWNER,
THEN GO BACK INSIDE THE BOTTLE
FOR A CENTURY AND A YEAR
UNTIL A SUMMONS COMES
FROM THE NEXT OWNER.
NOW, I THINK THE BUSINESS AT
HAND IS FOR YOU AND MRS. CASTLE
TO DECIDE UPON THE
NATURE OF YOUR FOUR WISHES,
KEEPING IN MIND,
OF COURSE... EDNA.
THAT EACH WISH IS IRREVOCABLE.
ONCE MADE, IT IS FULFILLED.
AND, ONCE FULFILLED, IT
IS A MATTER OF RECORD.
IT CAN ONLY BE ALTERED
BY YET ANOTHER WISH.
CLEAR, MR. CASTLE?
I THINK WE'D BETTER
CALL THE POLICE.
WISH FOR THEM.
I CAN BRING YOU SCOTLAND YARD,
THE FEDERAL BUREAU
OF INVESTIGATION,
OR EVERY BOBBY IN
THE CITY OF LONDON.
IS IT THE POLICE YOU WANT?
NO.
THAT IS NOT WHAT
WE WOULD WISH FOR.
ARTHUR, YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?
YOU BELIEVE HIM?
PLEASE GO ON, MR. CASTLE.
YOU WERE SAYING?
WELL, IF I HAD A WISH,
JUST FOR THE SAKE OF ARGUMENT,
I'D SAY I WANTED
THAT BROKEN GLASS
IN THAT CASE TO BE FIXED.
WOULD YOU LIKE TO MAKE
IT OFFICIAL, MR. CASTLE?
WELL, MR. CASTLE,
IS THAT YOUR WISH?
YES, THAT IS MY WISH.
I WANT THAT GLASS
IN THAT DISPLAY CASE
TO BE REPAIRED.
WELL, MR. CASTLE?
YOU HAVE THREE WISHES LEFT.
THREE WISHES.
THREE WISHES, THREE WISHES.
ANYTHING WE WANT.
WELL, THINK, THINK.
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
NOTHING, ARTHUR. I WANT NOTHING.
A NEW SHOP...
AN EXPENSIVE SHOP
ON FIFTH AVENUE.
WE COULD HAVE THAT
JUST FOR THE ASKING.
OR MONEY, EDNA, MONEY!
$100,000!
$200,000!
A MILLION!
EDNA, EDNA,
WE WOULDN'T HAVE
TO GRUB ANYMORE.
WE WOULDN'T TO SIT HER
AND WASTE OUR LIVES AWAY.
ARTHUR, NO.
THERE'S SOMETHING
UNHOLY ABOUT THIS.
CLOTHES, EDNA,
EXPENSIVE CLOTHES.
JEWELS, A BEAUTIFUL HOUSE!
ANYTHING WE WANT, EDNA!
NO MORE WORRIES FOR
THE REST OF OUR LIVES.
MONEY.
MONEY? THE SIMPLEST, MR. CASTLE.
HOW MUCH, AND IN
WHAT DENOMINATIONS?
HOW MUCH DO WE WANT?
I DON'T KNOW.
I DON'T KNOW!
A MILLION DOLLARS,
RIGHT HERE ON THE FLOOR,
IN FIVE AND TEN DOLLAR BILLS.
THAT'S WHAT WE WANT!
A MILLION DOLLARS!
ASK AND YOU SHALL
RECEIVE, MR. CASTLE.
( genie laughing)
Castle: EDNA, EDNA!
EDNA! A MILLION DOLLARS, EDNA!
A MILLION DOLLARS!
A MILLION DOLLARS!
EDNA, LOOK!
A MILLION!
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. SO HE SAYS...
WAIT. SO HE SAYS, "MONEY?"
SO MUCH MONEY FOR ME.
I THOUGHT MAYBE
SHE'S-A GO OUTTA STYLE!
( all laughing)
HERE YOU ARE, MY
FRIEND. HERE YOU ARE.
YOU PAY OFF THAT MORTGAGE
AND HAVE YOURSELF...
START LIVING AGAIN.
THAT'S IT. HERE
YOU ARE, MY DEAR.
HERE. YOU TAKE
YOURSELF THAT VACATION,
AND BRING BACK A
BOYFRIEND. DON'T FORGET.
MRS. GUMLEY. OH, MY DEAR.
HERE. HERE. MORE. MORE!
MRS. GUMLEY, GOD BLESS
YOU. GOD BLESS YOU.
HERE YOU ARE, MY DEAR.
NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
YOU TAKE THAT HOME WITH YOU.
HERE YOU ARE, REVEREND.
DON'T YOU WORRY.
THIS IS HONEST MONEY.
YOU TAKE IT AND GET
THAT CHURCH PAINTED.
YES, SIR. YES, SIR,
AND THANK YOU.
YES, DOLLY, HERE
YOU ARE. COME HERE.
YOU TELL ANGELO TO
GET HIMSELF A NEW TRUCK
WITH RED WHEELS. REMEMBER.
HERE YOU ARE, MY...
NO NEED. MY CARD, MR. CASTLE.
OFFICE OF INTERNAL REVENUE.
YES, THAT'S CORRECT.
THERE'S A MATTER OF AN
INCOME TAX, MR. CASTLE.
JUST SEND US THE
BILL AND WE'LL PAY IT.
BUT SEND US THE BILL IN A HURRY,
WOULD YOU PLEASE?
MY WIFE AND I WILL BE TAKING OFF
FOR EUROPE VERY SHORTLY.
( humming)
DEPENDENTS?
THE WHOLE NEIGHBORHOOD.
OH, NO. THEY DON'T COUNT.
WHAT DOES THAT
FIGURE THERE MEAN?
A MILLION DOLLARS, MR. CASTLE.
TAXED ON THE BASIS
OF A HUSBAND AND WIFE,
USING THE STANDARD DEDUCTIONS,
YOU OWE THE GOVERNMENT
APPROXIMATELY $907,000.
WHAT?
YES, THAT'S CORRECT.
THEN, IN ADDITION,
THERE'S A STATE INCOME
TAX INVOLVED WHICH...
USING THUMB RULE...
THE WHOLE THING
COMES TO A TOTAL OF...
ROUGHLY, MIND YOU... $942,640.
ARTHUR, WE'VE ALREADY
GIVEN AWAY A LOT OF MONEY.
WELL, NOW, IF YOU'LL
JUST FILL OUT THIS FORM
AND SEND IT TO US
WITH YOUR CHECK?
( doorbell rings)
OH, UH... IF YOU WANT TO
USE THE INSTALLMENT PLAN,
WE'LL SEND YOU A STATEMENT
AFTER THE FORM HAS BEEN ANALYZED.
UH... MR. CASTLE?
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
JUST SEND US A BILL.
WELL, WE'LL BE SEEING
YOU, MR. CASTLE.
GOOD EVENING, MRS. CASTLE.
WELL?
$910,530.
$910,535.
$910,540.
WE GAVE AWAY ALMOST $60,000.
AND THIS GOES TO
TAXES, AND THIS...
AND THIS...
FIVE DOLLARS?
YEAH.
QUITE A WISH, ARTHUR.
QUITE A WISH.
AND WE HAVEN'T EVEN
PAID THOSE BILLS YET.
Genie: MR. CASTLE...
IT WAS MY SUGGESTION
THAT YOU REFLECT VERY
CAREFULLY, MR. CASTLE.
VERY, VERY CAREFULLY.
NOW, HAD YOU MADE A WISH
THAT TOOK INTO ACCOUNT
THE TAXES INVOLVED...
OH... LOOK, YOU.
PLENTY OF SWEET TALK AND
PROMISES AND THE WHOLE THING,
AND ALL THE TIME YOU'RE NOTHING
BUT A CON ARTIST.
THIS TIME, I WANT
THE MILLION DOLLARS,
BUT I WANT IT AFTER...
ARTHUR, NO MORE MONEY.
YOU GOT TO WISH
FOR SOMETHING ELSE.
SOMETHING ELSE.
HOW ABOUT TEN MORE WISHES?
OR 20?
DON'T BE IN SUCH
A HURRY, ARTHUR.
THEN YOU THINK OF SOMETHING!
I'M AFRAID WISHING
FOR MORE WISHES
ISN'T PERMITTED, MR. CASTLE.
FRANKLY, I'D BE AFRAID
TO HAVE YOU TRY
FOR FEAR OF THE CONSEQUENCES.
WHAT CONSEQUENCES?
WHY DO YOU KEEP
LOSING YOUR TEMPER?
WELL, YOU'RE NO HELP
FOR ME. THAT'S FOR SURE!
HERE WE STAND IN THIS
CRUMMY LITTLE SHOP,
WITH THE WHOLE WORLD
OUT IN FRONT OF US,
WITH ANYTHING TO
WISH FOR THAT WE WANT,
AND YOU JUST STAY ON MY BACK...!
ARTHUR!
EDNA.
WHAT... WHAT'S
HAPPENING WITH US?
WHAT'S GOING ON?
ODDLY ENOUGH, MR. CASTLE,
THIS IS THE NORMAL PATTERN
THAT SEEMS TO BE
GENERALLY FOLLOWED...
GREAT EXCITEMENT,
GREAT EMOTIONALISM.
STRANGELY ENOUGH,
HARD TO BELIEVE
THOUGH IT MAY BE,
ONLY A MODICUM OF HAPPINESS.
WELL... YOU GOT A COUPLE
OF CHEAP CUSTOMERS HERE, MISTER.
PEOPLE THAT HAVEN'T
KNOWN MUCH HAPPINESS.
WHAT? WHAT? WHAT DO WE WISH FOR?
I WISH I KNEW, ARTHUR.
I DON'T KNOW!
WHAT ABOUT IT, GENIE?
WHAT CAN WE WISH FOR NOW?
WHAT CAN COME TO
US WITHOUT TRICKS?
WITHOUT TRICKS!
I QUESTION THE SEMANTICS
HERE, MR. CASTLE.
THERE ARE NO TRICKS INVOLVED.
THERE ARE SIMPLY NORMAL AND
UNDERSTANDABLE OUTGROWTHS
AND CONDITIONS THAT
GO WITH ANY WINDFALL.
NO MATTER WHAT YOU WISH FOR,
YOU MUST BE PREPARED
FOR THE CONSEQUENCES.
SOMETHING WITHOUT CONSEQUENCES.
SOMETHING DEAD SURE.
SOMETHING ANCHORED,
SOMETHING AIRTIGHT.
EDNA, I THINK I GOT IT.
I THINK I KNOW WHAT IT IS.
WHAT, ARTHUR?
POWER. POWER, EDNA.
TO BE IN CHARGE OF SOMETHING...
THE BOSS... TO BE A LEADER.
WE COULD WISH FOR THAT.
POSSIBLE.
VERY POSSIBLE.
PRESIDENT OF A CORPORATION?
THAT SORT OF THING?
HE COULD GO BANKRUPT.
MAYOR OF A CITY?
YOU GET VOTED OUT
OF OFFICE, THEN WHAT?
WAIT A MINUTE, WAIT A MINUTE.
I KNOW WHAT.
HEAD OF A COUNTRY.
RULER OF A WHOLE COUNTRY.
THAT'S IT.
WHAT ABOUT IT, GENIE?
I WANT TO BE THE
HEAD OF A COUNTRY
WHO CAN'T BE
VOTED OUT OF OFFICE.
DO YOU WANT TO BE
MORE SPECIFIC THAN THAT?
WAIT A MINUTE.
LET ME GIVE IT TO YOU THIS WAY.
I WANT TO BE THE HEAD
OF A FOREIGN COUNTRY
WHO CAN'T BE
VOTED OUT OF OFFICE,
BUT IT MUST BE A
CONTEMPORARY COUNTRY.
CONTEMPORARY?
WITHIN THIS CENTURY.
NO PROBLEMS.
WHAT ABOUT CONSEQUENCES?
( chuckling)
CONSEQUENCES, MR. CASTLE?
I'VE ALREADY TOLD YOU.
YOU RUN THE RISK OF CONSEQUENCES
NO MATTER WHAT YOU WISH FOR.
ALL RIGHT, THEN.
GO AHEAD, ARTHUR.
YOU WISH FOR THAT.
I WANT TO BE THE RULER
OF A FOREIGN COUNTRY,
JUST AS I'VE DESCRIBED IT.
GO AHEAD, GENIE.
TAKE OVER.
AS YOU WISH, MR. CASTLE.
( laughing)
( crying)
FROM NOW ON, IT'S
JUST A MASS SUICIDE.
WELL, WHAT ABOUT IT, FUHRER?
( bombs exploding)
HEAD OF A COUNTRY.
CAN'T BE VOTED OUT OF OFFICE.
I'M HITLER.
I'M IN A BUNKER.
IT'S THE END OF THE WAR.
( bombs exploding)
MEIN FUHRER.
WHAT YOU ASKED FOR.
VERY QUICK...
AND VERY PAINLESS, MEIN FUHRER.
AND WE HAVE THE GASOLINE OUTSIDE
FOR YOU AND MISS
BRAUN WHEN YOU FINISH.
( planes flying overhead)
( bombs exploding)
I WISH... I WISH I WERE
BACK WHERE IT ALL STARTED.
I WISH I WERE
ARTHUR CASTLE AGAIN!
WHAT'S THE MATTER, ARTHUR?
YOU LOOK SO FUNNY.
WHAT HAPPENED?
I HAD A WISH FULFILLED.
NUMBER FOUR.
ALL THE WISHES
ENDED THE SAME WAY...
IN FRAGMENTS, LITTLE PIECES.
FUNNY THING, THOUGH.
THIS PLACE... THIS... THIS
PLACE DOESN'T LOOK HALF BAD.
YOU ALL RIGHT?
OH, I'M FINE.
WELL, MAYBE WE'LL STOP
WISHING FOR A WHILE.
AND, SINCE WE
OBVIOUSLY CAN'T AFFORD
A BRAND-NEW LIFE,
SUPPOSE WE GIVE THE
OLD ONE A PAINT JOB
OR SOMETHING?
I THINK THAT'S A VERY GOOD IDEA.
( laughing)
WHAT ARE YOU LAUGHING AT?
WE CAME OUT OF IT AHEAD ANYWAY.
SHOULDN'T BE A TOTAL LOSS.
( laughing)
( both laughing)
( doorbell rings)
A WORD TO THE WISE NOW
TO THE GARBAGE
COLLECTORS OF THE WORLD,
TO THE CURIO SEEKERS,
TO THE ANTIQUE BUFFS,
TO EVERYONE WHO WOULD
TRY TO COAX OUT A MIRACLE
FROM UNLIKELY PLACES.
CHECK THAT BOTTLE YOU'RE TAKING
BACK FOR A TWO-CENT DEPOSIT.
THE GENIE YOU SAVE
MIGHT BE YOUR OWN.
CASE IN POINT, MR. AND
MRS. ARTHUR CASTLE,
FRESH FROM THE BRIEFEST OF TRIPS
INTO THE TWILIGHT ZONE.
MAN: ROD SERLING, CREATOR
OF THE TWILIGHT ZONE,
WILL TELL YOU ABOUT
NEXT WEEK'S STORY
AFTER THIS WORD FROM
OUR ALTERNATE SPONSOR.
AND NOW, MR. SERLING.
NEXT WEEK, WE TAKE YOU
INTO THIS 8X8 HOTEL ROOM,
AND WE WATCH A PENNY-ANTE
CROOK MAKE A DECISION.
YOU BETTER ASK THE ROOM
CLERK THE NUMBER OF THIS ROOM,
AND THEN COME ON UP.
MR. JOE MANTELL IS THE NERVOUS
MAN IN THE FOUR DOLLAR ROOM.
THAT'S THE TWILIGHT
ZONE NEXT WEEK,
AND WE'LL BE WAITING FOR YOU.
THANK YOU AND GOOD NIGHT.
MAN: BE SURE AND SEE THE
COLGATE-PALMOLIVE COMPANY'S
NEW COMEDY SHOW MY SISTER EILEEN
WEDNESDAY NIGHT ON MANY
OF THESE SAME STATIONS.
YOU'RE TRAVELING THROUGH
ANOTHER DIMENSION...
A DIMENSION NOT ONLY OF
SIGHT AND SOUND, BUT OF MIND.
A JOURNEY INTO A WONDROUS
LAND OF IMAGINATION.
NEXT STOP, THE TWILIGHT ZONE.
( cat meows)
EDNA.
HUH?
WHAT ABOUT GAS AND ELECTRIC?
WHAT?
THE GAS AND ELECTRIC BILL.
HOW MANY MONTHS IS THAT?
FOUR MONTHS.
THAT'S ONE YOU BETTER PAY.
HUH. THAT'S ONE I CAN'T PAY.
OH, I WISH... ( bell rings)
HOW ARE YOU, MRS. GUMLEY?
OH, JUST FINE, MR. CASTLE.
HOW HAVE YOU BEEN?
OH, CAN'T COMPLAIN.
BEEN HAVING A LOT
OF RAIN, HAVEN'T WE?
QUITE A BIT OF RAIN FOR
THIS TIME OF THE YEAR.
REALLY.
IT'S GOOD FOR THE FLOWERS.
HOW'S THAT?
AN HEIRLOOM TODAY, MR. CASTLE.
AN HEIRLOOM, MRS. GUMLEY?
OH, YES, MR. CASTLE.
BEEN IN MY FAMILY
FOR YEARS AND YEARS.
IT'S SUPPOSED TO
BE VERY VALUABLE.
HAND-BLOWN GLASS IS WHAT IT IS.
REALLY?
UH-HUH.
MRS. GUMLEY, IT'S JUST
A PLAIN OLD WINE BOTTLE.
DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT'S WORTH?
NOTHING.
IF YOU COULD FIND THE
STORE WHERE IT CAME FROM,
THAT'S WHAT THEY WOULD
GIVE YOU FOR IT, MRS. GUMLEY...
NOTHING.
I... I COULD LET IT
GO FOR A DOLLAR.
MRS. GUMLEY, IF I
COULD SPARE A DOLLAR,
I'D GIVE IT TO YOU,
BELIEVE ME I WOULD, BUT...
WELL, THINGS HAVE
BEEN ROUGH HERE.
I'M SO IN DEBT MYSELF...
( register bell rings)
I WISH I COULD MAKE
IT MORE, I REALLY DO.
THANK YOU, MR. CASTLE.
YOU'RE A WONDERFUL MAN.
GOD BLESS YOU.
( doorbell rings)
MR. CASTLE...
IT'S NOT AN HEIRLOOM, YOU KNOW.
I FOUND IT IN AN ASH CAN.
PLEASE, MR. CASTLE,
FORGIVE ME FOR LYING.
AW, THAT'S ALL
RIGHT, MRS. GUMLEY.
WHO KNOWS? MAYBE IT'LL
TURN OUT TO BE AN HEIRLOOM.
YEAH.
THANK YOU.
( bell rings)
GORGEOUS.
SHE HAS TO EAT, DOESN'T SHE?
YOU DON'T?
ARTHUR... WE'RE JUST
AROUND THE CORNER
FROM BANKRUPTCY.
YOU PROMISED ME,
NO MORE HANDOUTS.
LOOK, EDNA, MAYBE
ALL I'VE GOT LEFT
IS TO TRY TO FIND SOME POOR
CLOD WHO I COULD FEEL SORRY FOR.
MAYBE A MAN CAN BE A FAILURE
FOR ONLY SO LONG,
AND THEN... AND THEN...
AND THEN IT CATCHES UP WITH HIM.
LOOK AT IT, EDNA!
LOOK AT IT!
THE LEGACY OF A HUNDRED YEARS.
MY GRANDFATHER OWNED
IT, AND IT BROKE HIS HEART.
AND THEN, MY FATHER...
IT KILLED HIM, TOO.
LOOK AT IT. LOOK AT IT.
THE MEANNESS OF IT,
THE SHABBINESS OF IT,
THE HAND-TO-MOUTH OF IT!
IT ISN'T JUST AN ANTIQUE SHOP
WHERE YOU PICK UP
THE PITIFUL REMNANTS
OF OTHER PEOPLE'S FAILURES.
IT'S A SHRINE TO FAILURE
ITSELF, THAT'S WHAT IT IS!
IT'S A MAUSOLEUM, A
BURIAL GROUND FOR...
FOR PEOPLE'S HOPES.
EDNA, WHAT HAPPENS TO US ANYWAY?
WHAT HAPPENS TO US?
WE'RE NOT OLD PEOPLE,
AND YET THIS PLACE
IS MAKING US OLD.
THERE MUST BE YEARS AHEAD OF US
THAT COME WITHOUT
SCRIMPING AND COUNTING,
AND PICKING OVER
CHECKBOOKS AND BUDGETS
AND FINAL NOTICES AND OLD BILLS.
HEY... HEY!
MR. AND MRS. ARTHUR CASTLE...
GENTLE AND INFINITELY
PATIENT PEOPLE
WHOSE LIVES HAVE
BEEN A HOPE CHEST
WITH A RUSTY LOCK
AND A LOST SET OF KEYS.
BUT, IN JUST A MOMENT, THAT
HOPE CHEST WILL BE OPENED,
AND AN IMPROBABLE PHANTOM
WILL TRY TO BEDECK THE DRABNESS
OF THESE TWO PEOPLE'S
FAILURE-LADEN LIVES
WITH THE GOLD AND PRECIOUS
STONES OF FULFILLMENT.
MR. AND MRS. ARTHUR CASTLE,
STANDING ON THE OUTSKIRTS,
AND ABOUT TO ENTER,
THE TWILIGHT ZONE.
HOW DO YOU DO?
RATHER THAN GO INTO ANY
LENGTHY GENERIC EXPLANATION
OF MY EXISTENCE, SUFFICE
IT TO SAY THAT I AM A GENIE.
THAT'S QUITE CORRECT.
A GENIE.
I CAN OFFER YOU FOUR WISHES
WITH A GUARANTEED PERFORMANCE.
WELL, MR. CASTLE?
MRS. CASTLE?
WHAT HAVE YOU IN MIND?
ARTHUR, WHAT'S HAPPENING TO US?
HE'S A HYPNOTIST OR SOMETHING.
NOTHING OF THE SORT.
I GRANT FOUR
WISHES TO THE OWNER,
THEN GO BACK INSIDE THE BOTTLE
FOR A CENTURY AND A YEAR
UNTIL A SUMMONS COMES
FROM THE NEXT OWNER.
NOW, I THINK THE BUSINESS AT
HAND IS FOR YOU AND MRS. CASTLE
TO DECIDE UPON THE
NATURE OF YOUR FOUR WISHES,
KEEPING IN MIND,
OF COURSE... EDNA.
THAT EACH WISH IS IRREVOCABLE.
ONCE MADE, IT IS FULFILLED.
AND, ONCE FULFILLED, IT
IS A MATTER OF RECORD.
IT CAN ONLY BE ALTERED
BY YET ANOTHER WISH.
CLEAR, MR. CASTLE?
I THINK WE'D BETTER
CALL THE POLICE.
WISH FOR THEM.
I CAN BRING YOU SCOTLAND YARD,
THE FEDERAL BUREAU
OF INVESTIGATION,
OR EVERY BOBBY IN
THE CITY OF LONDON.
IS IT THE POLICE YOU WANT?
NO.
THAT IS NOT WHAT
WE WOULD WISH FOR.
ARTHUR, YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?
YOU BELIEVE HIM?
PLEASE GO ON, MR. CASTLE.
YOU WERE SAYING?
WELL, IF I HAD A WISH,
JUST FOR THE SAKE OF ARGUMENT,
I'D SAY I WANTED
THAT BROKEN GLASS
IN THAT CASE TO BE FIXED.
WOULD YOU LIKE TO MAKE
IT OFFICIAL, MR. CASTLE?
WELL, MR. CASTLE,
IS THAT YOUR WISH?
YES, THAT IS MY WISH.
I WANT THAT GLASS
IN THAT DISPLAY CASE
TO BE REPAIRED.
WELL, MR. CASTLE?
YOU HAVE THREE WISHES LEFT.
THREE WISHES.
THREE WISHES, THREE WISHES.
ANYTHING WE WANT.
WELL, THINK, THINK.
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
NOTHING, ARTHUR. I WANT NOTHING.
A NEW SHOP...
AN EXPENSIVE SHOP
ON FIFTH AVENUE.
WE COULD HAVE THAT
JUST FOR THE ASKING.
OR MONEY, EDNA, MONEY!
$100,000!
$200,000!
A MILLION!
EDNA, EDNA,
WE WOULDN'T HAVE
TO GRUB ANYMORE.
WE WOULDN'T TO SIT HER
AND WASTE OUR LIVES AWAY.
ARTHUR, NO.
THERE'S SOMETHING
UNHOLY ABOUT THIS.
CLOTHES, EDNA,
EXPENSIVE CLOTHES.
JEWELS, A BEAUTIFUL HOUSE!
ANYTHING WE WANT, EDNA!
NO MORE WORRIES FOR
THE REST OF OUR LIVES.
MONEY.
MONEY? THE SIMPLEST, MR. CASTLE.
HOW MUCH, AND IN
WHAT DENOMINATIONS?
HOW MUCH DO WE WANT?
I DON'T KNOW.
I DON'T KNOW!
A MILLION DOLLARS,
RIGHT HERE ON THE FLOOR,
IN FIVE AND TEN DOLLAR BILLS.
THAT'S WHAT WE WANT!
A MILLION DOLLARS!
ASK AND YOU SHALL
RECEIVE, MR. CASTLE.
( genie laughing)
Castle: EDNA, EDNA!
EDNA! A MILLION DOLLARS, EDNA!
A MILLION DOLLARS!
A MILLION DOLLARS!
EDNA, LOOK!
A MILLION!
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. SO HE SAYS...
WAIT. SO HE SAYS, "MONEY?"
SO MUCH MONEY FOR ME.
I THOUGHT MAYBE
SHE'S-A GO OUTTA STYLE!
( all laughing)
HERE YOU ARE, MY
FRIEND. HERE YOU ARE.
YOU PAY OFF THAT MORTGAGE
AND HAVE YOURSELF...
START LIVING AGAIN.
THAT'S IT. HERE
YOU ARE, MY DEAR.
HERE. YOU TAKE
YOURSELF THAT VACATION,
AND BRING BACK A
BOYFRIEND. DON'T FORGET.
MRS. GUMLEY. OH, MY DEAR.
HERE. HERE. MORE. MORE!
MRS. GUMLEY, GOD BLESS
YOU. GOD BLESS YOU.
HERE YOU ARE, MY DEAR.
NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
YOU TAKE THAT HOME WITH YOU.
HERE YOU ARE, REVEREND.
DON'T YOU WORRY.
THIS IS HONEST MONEY.
YOU TAKE IT AND GET
THAT CHURCH PAINTED.
YES, SIR. YES, SIR,
AND THANK YOU.
YES, DOLLY, HERE
YOU ARE. COME HERE.
YOU TELL ANGELO TO
GET HIMSELF A NEW TRUCK
WITH RED WHEELS. REMEMBER.
HERE YOU ARE, MY...
NO NEED. MY CARD, MR. CASTLE.
OFFICE OF INTERNAL REVENUE.
YES, THAT'S CORRECT.
THERE'S A MATTER OF AN
INCOME TAX, MR. CASTLE.
JUST SEND US THE
BILL AND WE'LL PAY IT.
BUT SEND US THE BILL IN A HURRY,
WOULD YOU PLEASE?
MY WIFE AND I WILL BE TAKING OFF
FOR EUROPE VERY SHORTLY.
( humming)
DEPENDENTS?
THE WHOLE NEIGHBORHOOD.
OH, NO. THEY DON'T COUNT.
WHAT DOES THAT
FIGURE THERE MEAN?
A MILLION DOLLARS, MR. CASTLE.
TAXED ON THE BASIS
OF A HUSBAND AND WIFE,
USING THE STANDARD DEDUCTIONS,
YOU OWE THE GOVERNMENT
APPROXIMATELY $907,000.
WHAT?
YES, THAT'S CORRECT.
THEN, IN ADDITION,
THERE'S A STATE INCOME
TAX INVOLVED WHICH...
USING THUMB RULE...
THE WHOLE THING
COMES TO A TOTAL OF...
ROUGHLY, MIND YOU... $942,640.
ARTHUR, WE'VE ALREADY
GIVEN AWAY A LOT OF MONEY.
WELL, NOW, IF YOU'LL
JUST FILL OUT THIS FORM
AND SEND IT TO US
WITH YOUR CHECK?
( doorbell rings)
OH, UH... IF YOU WANT TO
USE THE INSTALLMENT PLAN,
WE'LL SEND YOU A STATEMENT
AFTER THE FORM HAS BEEN ANALYZED.
UH... MR. CASTLE?
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
JUST SEND US A BILL.
WELL, WE'LL BE SEEING
YOU, MR. CASTLE.
GOOD EVENING, MRS. CASTLE.
WELL?
$910,530.
$910,535.
$910,540.
WE GAVE AWAY ALMOST $60,000.
AND THIS GOES TO
TAXES, AND THIS...
AND THIS...
FIVE DOLLARS?
YEAH.
QUITE A WISH, ARTHUR.
QUITE A WISH.
AND WE HAVEN'T EVEN
PAID THOSE BILLS YET.
Genie: MR. CASTLE...
IT WAS MY SUGGESTION
THAT YOU REFLECT VERY
CAREFULLY, MR. CASTLE.
VERY, VERY CAREFULLY.
NOW, HAD YOU MADE A WISH
THAT TOOK INTO ACCOUNT
THE TAXES INVOLVED...
OH... LOOK, YOU.
PLENTY OF SWEET TALK AND
PROMISES AND THE WHOLE THING,
AND ALL THE TIME YOU'RE NOTHING
BUT A CON ARTIST.
THIS TIME, I WANT
THE MILLION DOLLARS,
BUT I WANT IT AFTER...
ARTHUR, NO MORE MONEY.
YOU GOT TO WISH
FOR SOMETHING ELSE.
SOMETHING ELSE.
HOW ABOUT TEN MORE WISHES?
OR 20?
DON'T BE IN SUCH
A HURRY, ARTHUR.
THEN YOU THINK OF SOMETHING!
I'M AFRAID WISHING
FOR MORE WISHES
ISN'T PERMITTED, MR. CASTLE.
FRANKLY, I'D BE AFRAID
TO HAVE YOU TRY
FOR FEAR OF THE CONSEQUENCES.
WHAT CONSEQUENCES?
WHY DO YOU KEEP
LOSING YOUR TEMPER?
WELL, YOU'RE NO HELP
FOR ME. THAT'S FOR SURE!
HERE WE STAND IN THIS
CRUMMY LITTLE SHOP,
WITH THE WHOLE WORLD
OUT IN FRONT OF US,
WITH ANYTHING TO
WISH FOR THAT WE WANT,
AND YOU JUST STAY ON MY BACK...!
ARTHUR!
EDNA.
WHAT... WHAT'S
HAPPENING WITH US?
WHAT'S GOING ON?
ODDLY ENOUGH, MR. CASTLE,
THIS IS THE NORMAL PATTERN
THAT SEEMS TO BE
GENERALLY FOLLOWED...
GREAT EXCITEMENT,
GREAT EMOTIONALISM.
STRANGELY ENOUGH,
HARD TO BELIEVE
THOUGH IT MAY BE,
ONLY A MODICUM OF HAPPINESS.
WELL... YOU GOT A COUPLE
OF CHEAP CUSTOMERS HERE, MISTER.
PEOPLE THAT HAVEN'T
KNOWN MUCH HAPPINESS.
WHAT? WHAT? WHAT DO WE WISH FOR?
I WISH I KNEW, ARTHUR.
I DON'T KNOW!
WHAT ABOUT IT, GENIE?
WHAT CAN WE WISH FOR NOW?
WHAT CAN COME TO
US WITHOUT TRICKS?
WITHOUT TRICKS!
I QUESTION THE SEMANTICS
HERE, MR. CASTLE.
THERE ARE NO TRICKS INVOLVED.
THERE ARE SIMPLY NORMAL AND
UNDERSTANDABLE OUTGROWTHS
AND CONDITIONS THAT
GO WITH ANY WINDFALL.
NO MATTER WHAT YOU WISH FOR,
YOU MUST BE PREPARED
FOR THE CONSEQUENCES.
SOMETHING WITHOUT CONSEQUENCES.
SOMETHING DEAD SURE.
SOMETHING ANCHORED,
SOMETHING AIRTIGHT.
EDNA, I THINK I GOT IT.
I THINK I KNOW WHAT IT IS.
WHAT, ARTHUR?
POWER. POWER, EDNA.
TO BE IN CHARGE OF SOMETHING...
THE BOSS... TO BE A LEADER.
WE COULD WISH FOR THAT.
POSSIBLE.
VERY POSSIBLE.
PRESIDENT OF A CORPORATION?
THAT SORT OF THING?
HE COULD GO BANKRUPT.
MAYOR OF A CITY?
YOU GET VOTED OUT
OF OFFICE, THEN WHAT?
WAIT A MINUTE, WAIT A MINUTE.
I KNOW WHAT.
HEAD OF A COUNTRY.
RULER OF A WHOLE COUNTRY.
THAT'S IT.
WHAT ABOUT IT, GENIE?
I WANT TO BE THE
HEAD OF A COUNTRY
WHO CAN'T BE
VOTED OUT OF OFFICE.
DO YOU WANT TO BE
MORE SPECIFIC THAN THAT?
WAIT A MINUTE.
LET ME GIVE IT TO YOU THIS WAY.
I WANT TO BE THE HEAD
OF A FOREIGN COUNTRY
WHO CAN'T BE
VOTED OUT OF OFFICE,
BUT IT MUST BE A
CONTEMPORARY COUNTRY.
CONTEMPORARY?
WITHIN THIS CENTURY.
NO PROBLEMS.
WHAT ABOUT CONSEQUENCES?
( chuckling)
CONSEQUENCES, MR. CASTLE?
I'VE ALREADY TOLD YOU.
YOU RUN THE RISK OF CONSEQUENCES
NO MATTER WHAT YOU WISH FOR.
ALL RIGHT, THEN.
GO AHEAD, ARTHUR.
YOU WISH FOR THAT.
I WANT TO BE THE RULER
OF A FOREIGN COUNTRY,
JUST AS I'VE DESCRIBED IT.
GO AHEAD, GENIE.
TAKE OVER.
AS YOU WISH, MR. CASTLE.
( laughing)
( crying)
FROM NOW ON, IT'S
JUST A MASS SUICIDE.
WELL, WHAT ABOUT IT, FUHRER?
( bombs exploding)
HEAD OF A COUNTRY.
CAN'T BE VOTED OUT OF OFFICE.
I'M HITLER.
I'M IN A BUNKER.
IT'S THE END OF THE WAR.
( bombs exploding)
MEIN FUHRER.
WHAT YOU ASKED FOR.
VERY QUICK...
AND VERY PAINLESS, MEIN FUHRER.
AND WE HAVE THE GASOLINE OUTSIDE
FOR YOU AND MISS
BRAUN WHEN YOU FINISH.
( planes flying overhead)
( bombs exploding)
I WISH... I WISH I WERE
BACK WHERE IT ALL STARTED.
I WISH I WERE
ARTHUR CASTLE AGAIN!
WHAT'S THE MATTER, ARTHUR?
YOU LOOK SO FUNNY.
WHAT HAPPENED?
I HAD A WISH FULFILLED.
NUMBER FOUR.
ALL THE WISHES
ENDED THE SAME WAY...
IN FRAGMENTS, LITTLE PIECES.
FUNNY THING, THOUGH.
THIS PLACE... THIS... THIS
PLACE DOESN'T LOOK HALF BAD.
YOU ALL RIGHT?
OH, I'M FINE.
WELL, MAYBE WE'LL STOP
WISHING FOR A WHILE.
AND, SINCE WE
OBVIOUSLY CAN'T AFFORD
A BRAND-NEW LIFE,
SUPPOSE WE GIVE THE
OLD ONE A PAINT JOB
OR SOMETHING?
I THINK THAT'S A VERY GOOD IDEA.
( laughing)
WHAT ARE YOU LAUGHING AT?
WE CAME OUT OF IT AHEAD ANYWAY.
SHOULDN'T BE A TOTAL LOSS.
( laughing)
( both laughing)
( doorbell rings)
A WORD TO THE WISE NOW
TO THE GARBAGE
COLLECTORS OF THE WORLD,
TO THE CURIO SEEKERS,
TO THE ANTIQUE BUFFS,
TO EVERYONE WHO WOULD
TRY TO COAX OUT A MIRACLE
FROM UNLIKELY PLACES.
CHECK THAT BOTTLE YOU'RE TAKING
BACK FOR A TWO-CENT DEPOSIT.
THE GENIE YOU SAVE
MIGHT BE YOUR OWN.
CASE IN POINT, MR. AND
MRS. ARTHUR CASTLE,
FRESH FROM THE BRIEFEST OF TRIPS
INTO THE TWILIGHT ZONE.
MAN: ROD SERLING, CREATOR
OF THE TWILIGHT ZONE,
WILL TELL YOU ABOUT
NEXT WEEK'S STORY
AFTER THIS WORD FROM
OUR ALTERNATE SPONSOR.
AND NOW, MR. SERLING.
NEXT WEEK, WE TAKE YOU
INTO THIS 8X8 HOTEL ROOM,
AND WE WATCH A PENNY-ANTE
CROOK MAKE A DECISION.
YOU BETTER ASK THE ROOM
CLERK THE NUMBER OF THIS ROOM,
AND THEN COME ON UP.
MR. JOE MANTELL IS THE NERVOUS
MAN IN THE FOUR DOLLAR ROOM.
THAT'S THE TWILIGHT
ZONE NEXT WEEK,
AND WE'LL BE WAITING FOR YOU.
THANK YOU AND GOOD NIGHT.
MAN: BE SURE AND SEE THE
COLGATE-PALMOLIVE COMPANY'S
NEW COMEDY SHOW MY SISTER EILEEN
WEDNESDAY NIGHT ON MANY
OF THESE SAME STATIONS.