The Twilight Zone (1959–1964): Season 1, Episode 28 - A Nice Place to Visit - full transcript
Rocky Valentine is a small-time hood who has been on the wrong side of the law for most of his life. After robbing a pawn shop, he is gunned down by the police and awakens to be met by Mr. Pip, who describes himself as a guide to his new surroundings. Rocky can't quite believe where he's ended up as he can have anything he desires. He's living in a beautiful apartment, never loses at the casino and is always surrounded by beautiful women. What good deed could he have done in life to deserve this. After a month or so however the shine of having anything and everything wears off.
A Nice Place To Visit
First Aired: 15 April 1960
English Subtitles by
Pandorafilm - Heerlen
There is a fifth dimension.
Beyond that which is known to man.
It is a dimension as vast as space.
And as timeless as infinity.
It is the middle ground
between light and shadow...
between science and superstition.
And it lies between
the pit of man's fears...
and the summit of his knowledge.
This is the dimension
of imagination.
It is an area which we call:
The Twilight Zone.
Portrait of a man at work.
The only work he knows.
His name is Henry Francis Valentine,
but he calls himself Rocky
Because that's the way his life
has been. Rocky and at a dead run.
He's tired now, tired of
running or wanting.
Of waiting for the breaks that
come to others but never to him.
Never to Rocky Valentine.
Stop. Stop or I'll shoot.
-Not this time, you lousy screw.
A scared, angry little man.
He thinks it's all over now, but
he's wrong. For Rocky Valentine...
it's just the beginning.
Mr Valentine.
Who are you?
My name is Pip. Can I help you?
-How do you know my name?
It's my job to know
everything about you.
Are you a cop?
-No, I'm your guide, as it were.
Guide, eh?
I need like a hole in the head.
What happened?
-You had a slight accident.
You'll be as fit as a fiddle soon.
I'm sure you'd like to change
out of those rumpled clothes.
Hold it a minute.
I wanna know how you know my name.
-I've already told you.
You told me nothing. Let me clue
you, fatso. I don't like games.
Oh, that isn't true. Why, you like
roulette, blackjack, poker, craps.
And between the ages of seven and
ten you were fond of mumblety-peg.
What are you after, anyway?
-Only one thing. Your comfort.
My job is to see to it that you get
what you want, whatever it may be.
Yeah? In exchange for what?
-Nothing at all. It's totally free.
Don't put me on, fatso.
Nothing's free. Nothing.
Anything I ever got in this lousy
world, I had to drag out of it.
What's it? Do I need to do a job?
-I'm afraid you don't understand.
No? All right, let's see. Give me
your wallet, cracker. Come on.
I don't have a wallet.
No, honestly. Wait, Mr Valentine.
It isn't a wallet you want, is it?
No, no. It's money.
300, 500...
700 bucks.
-Will that be enough for now, then?
You got more?
-Oh, yes, as much as you want.
Now, shall we?
-Hey, fats.
Now, don't try anything funny.
You like it?
-Yeah.
Yeah, it's some pad, all right. Does
it belong to some phony politician?
It belongs to you, Mr Valentine.
That is if if you approve.
Yeah, I approve.
-We can make any changes you wish.
You see, I wasn't too sure about
the hi-fi right over there, but...
You mean, all this gets
thrown into the deal?
It's already in the deal as
you call it, Mr Valentine.
Look here.
You see?
That is the master bedroom.
Ah, ah. After you.
There.
Here is the bath room. You like a
change of clothing and freshen up?
Yeah. Yeah, sure.
But first of all, what's the pitch?
What do I gotta do for all this?
Nothing, I can't tell you more.
-I get it. You're just a goon, huh?
You work for somebody else, right?
-In a way, yeah.
When do I meet him? The big boss?
-I really couldn't say.
All right, goon.
I can wait.
Any particular color or style, sir?
-No, you pick it.
I could hardly presume to do that.
However, bearing in mind that...
you favor a nice check,
I thought perhaps...
Yeah, that'll do.
We have a wide selection of ties
here. Is yellow your favorite color?
What's the matter with you?
You got no taste?
Now, that's a tie, see?
It fits.
-Of course.
Yes, very impressive, sir.
-Yeah, well, I'll say this...
your guy knows clothes.
Mr Valentine.
-Where did that come from?
I'm sure you'll be a little hungry,
so I ordered up something for you.
You eat it.
-I don't eat. I haven't eaten in...
it must be two or three centuries.
-Anything wrong with it?
Then eat it.
-But I can't. I've forgotten how.
I get it. Give a guy new clothes and
a bath and then poison him. Smart.
But not smart enough.
A bulletproof vest, huh?
Let's see how your head holds up.
Mr Valentine, please.
I couldn't have missed,
not at this range. Maybe...
Hey, wait a minute. Where did this
come from? This wasn't here before.
What's going on here?
Where am I?
Do you remember when we
met earlier today? I told you...
I was your guide. And you needed
a guide like a hole in the head?
But in fact, you had a hole in the
head, only a short time before.
A bullet hole.
Yeah, that's right.
The cops, they...
Then I must be dead.
If I'm dead, then all of this,
the joint, the clothes, the booze...
Then I must be in heaven.
That's it, I'm in heaven, right?
And you're my guardian angel.
-Something like that, yeah.
Anything I want, eh?
Yeah, big talk, fatso.
I wanna see a little action now.
Right now I want...
a million bucks in five 'G' notes.
And a chick that won't quit.
I mean, just like stacked.
Like... beautiful, huh?
Well?
-The million is in that drawer.
A million.
A million bucks.
Hey, but what about...?
Now I know I'm in heaven.
-Will there be anything else, sir?
Yeah, there will be, Fats.
Just stick around.
Hiya, doll.
Place your bets,
ladies and gentlemen.
No more bets, please.
Thirty-three black.
Hey, how about that. I win again.
Hey, fats, come here.
Put your money on 14 red. Rocky is
hot tonight. Am I right, dolls?
I don't have any money, sir.
-You don't have any money?
What do they pay you,
in halos or something?
Place your bets, ladies and gentlemen.
No more bets, ladies and gentlemen.
14 red.
That makes what?
40 grand in an hour.
Is Rocky hot or is Rocky hot?
-Rocky's hot.
Go trade this in for gold, baby.
I'm gonna buy and sell this joint.
Here, go get them.
Hey, hey, hey, baby.
There's 40 grand in there and I count
real good. You know what I mean?
I got this table spooked. Let's go
see what's shaking with the cubes.
Place your bets,
ladies and gentlemen.
Here, baby, go get me some juice.
Hey, look at this. There must be 600
bucks here. How about that, fats?
Here you are, baby. Go buy yourself
a dress. A present from Rocky.
Need a car, sir?
-Yes, a big convertible.
Something bother you, Mr Valentine?
-Yeah, him. Lousy screw.
Thinks he's the boss. Just 'cause
he's got a couple of inches on me.
Dear, that was indiscreet of me.
Better?
Hey, screw, come here. You got
your hat on, crooked trooper.
Ready, sir.
-Come on, get in, girls.
Here you are, kid.
Keep the change.
All right now, let's open this baby
up and see what she can do.
All right, girls. Come in.
One, two, three. It's magic time.
I want you to get rid of that heap.
-Is something wrong?
Yeah, the ashtrays are full.
Hey girls, could you wait in here?
I wanna talk to fats for a minute.
In we go.
How about tomorrow we look up some
of my old buddies? Like Matt Gorman.
What's wrong? They didn't make it?
It's difficult to explain. All of
this is your own private domain.
It was made especially
for you alone.
What about them? You mean they're
props like in a movie?
In a sense, yes. Everything here is,
except you and me.
Sit down. I wanna ask you something.
It's been kind of bugging me.
How come they let me in here? This
was only for schoolteachers or so.
We have some schoolteachers here.
There must've been something real
good I done sometime.
Yeah, that's it.
But what?
When did I ever do anything good?
Listen, how do I find about this?
-We have a hall of records here.
Would you like me to take you there?
-Is it open at this hour?
It's always open.
-Well, all right, let's go.
Hey, dolls, I'll be right back.
I wanna get something cleared up.
Come on, let's go.
Ah.
'Henry Francis Valentine.'
'Born 1923, Brooklyn, New York.
Age of six, slaughtered small dog.'
Well, why not? He bit me.
'Age of seven, stole 14 toys
from dime store.
'Age of eight, organized
street gang, The Angels.'
That's what we called ourselves,
The Angels. Great little bunch.
'Age of nine, broke into
bicycle store.'
What is this anyway?
-Your record.
Would there's been some mistake?
-Not likely.
I can't figure it. But if it don't
bother him, it don't bother me.
What are you going to do now?
Gee, I don't know.
Fool around with the dolls.
Shoot some more craps, maybe.
I don't know.
If you need me for anything,
just dial P.I.P.
Yeah.
13 black, ladies and gentlemen.
What about your chips, sir?
-Mail 'em to me.
What do you got?
-Straight flush.
Royal flush.
-You win again, Mr Valentine.
Yeah, that's all I ever do in
this nutty joint is win, win, win.
Is there anything else
I can do for you?
Yeah, get out of here. I'm sick of
looking at you. You too. Out, out.
Come on, come on. Keep moving.
Step it up.
Come on, come on. Out, out, out.
Dumb broads. Who needs them?
Hey.
Yes, what can I do for you?
-Will you stop creeping around?
Anything you say, sir.
-Anything I say. Knock it off.
Why, is something wrong?
-No, everything is just peachy.
I've been in this dump for a month
and I can't stand it anymore.
But I don't understand.
-Okay, I'll spell it out for you.
I'm bored, bored. There's no
excitement around here. No kicks.
Yeah, but the gambling.
I thought you enjoyed that.
I do, but when you win every time,
that ain't gambling, that's charity.
I could arrange for you to lose
occasionally. Would that help?
It might. No, it's no good.
It ain't the same. I would know.
Perhaps you miss your old vocation?
-Now you're getting it.
There's a bank that you could rob.
Or would you prefer a jewelry store?
No, bank's okay.
Fine. As to the getaway car,
we have quite a large variety.
Is there a chance that
I could get caught?
Yes, let me just make a note of it.
-Come on, sit down, fats, sit down.
I don't know how to explain this.
But it just ain't the same thing.
What's the kick knocking off a bank
if everybody knows about it?
And the dames. I never thought I
would get bored with beautiful dames.
I wouldn't expect an angel
to understand this, but...
being a guy with a chick, it don't
mean anything if it's all set up.
Everything is great here. It's just
the way I always imagined it but...
Just between you and me, fats.
I don't belong here. I don't fit in.
Nonsense, of course you do.
-I mean it. Somebody must've goofed.
If I gotta stay here another day
I'm gonna go nuts.
Look, I don't belong in heaven, see?
I wanna go to the other place.
Heaven? Whatever gave you the idea
you were in heaven, Mr Valentine?
This is the other place.
A scared, angry little man
who never got a break.
Now he has everything
he's ever wanted.
And he's going to have to
live with it for eternity...
in the Twilight Zone.
English Subtitles by
B. Cornelis - Pandorafilm - Heerlen
First Aired: 15 April 1960
English Subtitles by
Pandorafilm - Heerlen
There is a fifth dimension.
Beyond that which is known to man.
It is a dimension as vast as space.
And as timeless as infinity.
It is the middle ground
between light and shadow...
between science and superstition.
And it lies between
the pit of man's fears...
and the summit of his knowledge.
This is the dimension
of imagination.
It is an area which we call:
The Twilight Zone.
Portrait of a man at work.
The only work he knows.
His name is Henry Francis Valentine,
but he calls himself Rocky
Because that's the way his life
has been. Rocky and at a dead run.
He's tired now, tired of
running or wanting.
Of waiting for the breaks that
come to others but never to him.
Never to Rocky Valentine.
Stop. Stop or I'll shoot.
-Not this time, you lousy screw.
A scared, angry little man.
He thinks it's all over now, but
he's wrong. For Rocky Valentine...
it's just the beginning.
Mr Valentine.
Who are you?
My name is Pip. Can I help you?
-How do you know my name?
It's my job to know
everything about you.
Are you a cop?
-No, I'm your guide, as it were.
Guide, eh?
I need like a hole in the head.
What happened?
-You had a slight accident.
You'll be as fit as a fiddle soon.
I'm sure you'd like to change
out of those rumpled clothes.
Hold it a minute.
I wanna know how you know my name.
-I've already told you.
You told me nothing. Let me clue
you, fatso. I don't like games.
Oh, that isn't true. Why, you like
roulette, blackjack, poker, craps.
And between the ages of seven and
ten you were fond of mumblety-peg.
What are you after, anyway?
-Only one thing. Your comfort.
My job is to see to it that you get
what you want, whatever it may be.
Yeah? In exchange for what?
-Nothing at all. It's totally free.
Don't put me on, fatso.
Nothing's free. Nothing.
Anything I ever got in this lousy
world, I had to drag out of it.
What's it? Do I need to do a job?
-I'm afraid you don't understand.
No? All right, let's see. Give me
your wallet, cracker. Come on.
I don't have a wallet.
No, honestly. Wait, Mr Valentine.
It isn't a wallet you want, is it?
No, no. It's money.
300, 500...
700 bucks.
-Will that be enough for now, then?
You got more?
-Oh, yes, as much as you want.
Now, shall we?
-Hey, fats.
Now, don't try anything funny.
You like it?
-Yeah.
Yeah, it's some pad, all right. Does
it belong to some phony politician?
It belongs to you, Mr Valentine.
That is if if you approve.
Yeah, I approve.
-We can make any changes you wish.
You see, I wasn't too sure about
the hi-fi right over there, but...
You mean, all this gets
thrown into the deal?
It's already in the deal as
you call it, Mr Valentine.
Look here.
You see?
That is the master bedroom.
Ah, ah. After you.
There.
Here is the bath room. You like a
change of clothing and freshen up?
Yeah. Yeah, sure.
But first of all, what's the pitch?
What do I gotta do for all this?
Nothing, I can't tell you more.
-I get it. You're just a goon, huh?
You work for somebody else, right?
-In a way, yeah.
When do I meet him? The big boss?
-I really couldn't say.
All right, goon.
I can wait.
Any particular color or style, sir?
-No, you pick it.
I could hardly presume to do that.
However, bearing in mind that...
you favor a nice check,
I thought perhaps...
Yeah, that'll do.
We have a wide selection of ties
here. Is yellow your favorite color?
What's the matter with you?
You got no taste?
Now, that's a tie, see?
It fits.
-Of course.
Yes, very impressive, sir.
-Yeah, well, I'll say this...
your guy knows clothes.
Mr Valentine.
-Where did that come from?
I'm sure you'll be a little hungry,
so I ordered up something for you.
You eat it.
-I don't eat. I haven't eaten in...
it must be two or three centuries.
-Anything wrong with it?
Then eat it.
-But I can't. I've forgotten how.
I get it. Give a guy new clothes and
a bath and then poison him. Smart.
But not smart enough.
A bulletproof vest, huh?
Let's see how your head holds up.
Mr Valentine, please.
I couldn't have missed,
not at this range. Maybe...
Hey, wait a minute. Where did this
come from? This wasn't here before.
What's going on here?
Where am I?
Do you remember when we
met earlier today? I told you...
I was your guide. And you needed
a guide like a hole in the head?
But in fact, you had a hole in the
head, only a short time before.
A bullet hole.
Yeah, that's right.
The cops, they...
Then I must be dead.
If I'm dead, then all of this,
the joint, the clothes, the booze...
Then I must be in heaven.
That's it, I'm in heaven, right?
And you're my guardian angel.
-Something like that, yeah.
Anything I want, eh?
Yeah, big talk, fatso.
I wanna see a little action now.
Right now I want...
a million bucks in five 'G' notes.
And a chick that won't quit.
I mean, just like stacked.
Like... beautiful, huh?
Well?
-The million is in that drawer.
A million.
A million bucks.
Hey, but what about...?
Now I know I'm in heaven.
-Will there be anything else, sir?
Yeah, there will be, Fats.
Just stick around.
Hiya, doll.
Place your bets,
ladies and gentlemen.
No more bets, please.
Thirty-three black.
Hey, how about that. I win again.
Hey, fats, come here.
Put your money on 14 red. Rocky is
hot tonight. Am I right, dolls?
I don't have any money, sir.
-You don't have any money?
What do they pay you,
in halos or something?
Place your bets, ladies and gentlemen.
No more bets, ladies and gentlemen.
14 red.
That makes what?
40 grand in an hour.
Is Rocky hot or is Rocky hot?
-Rocky's hot.
Go trade this in for gold, baby.
I'm gonna buy and sell this joint.
Here, go get them.
Hey, hey, hey, baby.
There's 40 grand in there and I count
real good. You know what I mean?
I got this table spooked. Let's go
see what's shaking with the cubes.
Place your bets,
ladies and gentlemen.
Here, baby, go get me some juice.
Hey, look at this. There must be 600
bucks here. How about that, fats?
Here you are, baby. Go buy yourself
a dress. A present from Rocky.
Need a car, sir?
-Yes, a big convertible.
Something bother you, Mr Valentine?
-Yeah, him. Lousy screw.
Thinks he's the boss. Just 'cause
he's got a couple of inches on me.
Dear, that was indiscreet of me.
Better?
Hey, screw, come here. You got
your hat on, crooked trooper.
Ready, sir.
-Come on, get in, girls.
Here you are, kid.
Keep the change.
All right now, let's open this baby
up and see what she can do.
All right, girls. Come in.
One, two, three. It's magic time.
I want you to get rid of that heap.
-Is something wrong?
Yeah, the ashtrays are full.
Hey girls, could you wait in here?
I wanna talk to fats for a minute.
In we go.
How about tomorrow we look up some
of my old buddies? Like Matt Gorman.
What's wrong? They didn't make it?
It's difficult to explain. All of
this is your own private domain.
It was made especially
for you alone.
What about them? You mean they're
props like in a movie?
In a sense, yes. Everything here is,
except you and me.
Sit down. I wanna ask you something.
It's been kind of bugging me.
How come they let me in here? This
was only for schoolteachers or so.
We have some schoolteachers here.
There must've been something real
good I done sometime.
Yeah, that's it.
But what?
When did I ever do anything good?
Listen, how do I find about this?
-We have a hall of records here.
Would you like me to take you there?
-Is it open at this hour?
It's always open.
-Well, all right, let's go.
Hey, dolls, I'll be right back.
I wanna get something cleared up.
Come on, let's go.
Ah.
'Henry Francis Valentine.'
'Born 1923, Brooklyn, New York.
Age of six, slaughtered small dog.'
Well, why not? He bit me.
'Age of seven, stole 14 toys
from dime store.
'Age of eight, organized
street gang, The Angels.'
That's what we called ourselves,
The Angels. Great little bunch.
'Age of nine, broke into
bicycle store.'
What is this anyway?
-Your record.
Would there's been some mistake?
-Not likely.
I can't figure it. But if it don't
bother him, it don't bother me.
What are you going to do now?
Gee, I don't know.
Fool around with the dolls.
Shoot some more craps, maybe.
I don't know.
If you need me for anything,
just dial P.I.P.
Yeah.
13 black, ladies and gentlemen.
What about your chips, sir?
-Mail 'em to me.
What do you got?
-Straight flush.
Royal flush.
-You win again, Mr Valentine.
Yeah, that's all I ever do in
this nutty joint is win, win, win.
Is there anything else
I can do for you?
Yeah, get out of here. I'm sick of
looking at you. You too. Out, out.
Come on, come on. Keep moving.
Step it up.
Come on, come on. Out, out, out.
Dumb broads. Who needs them?
Hey.
Yes, what can I do for you?
-Will you stop creeping around?
Anything you say, sir.
-Anything I say. Knock it off.
Why, is something wrong?
-No, everything is just peachy.
I've been in this dump for a month
and I can't stand it anymore.
But I don't understand.
-Okay, I'll spell it out for you.
I'm bored, bored. There's no
excitement around here. No kicks.
Yeah, but the gambling.
I thought you enjoyed that.
I do, but when you win every time,
that ain't gambling, that's charity.
I could arrange for you to lose
occasionally. Would that help?
It might. No, it's no good.
It ain't the same. I would know.
Perhaps you miss your old vocation?
-Now you're getting it.
There's a bank that you could rob.
Or would you prefer a jewelry store?
No, bank's okay.
Fine. As to the getaway car,
we have quite a large variety.
Is there a chance that
I could get caught?
Yes, let me just make a note of it.
-Come on, sit down, fats, sit down.
I don't know how to explain this.
But it just ain't the same thing.
What's the kick knocking off a bank
if everybody knows about it?
And the dames. I never thought I
would get bored with beautiful dames.
I wouldn't expect an angel
to understand this, but...
being a guy with a chick, it don't
mean anything if it's all set up.
Everything is great here. It's just
the way I always imagined it but...
Just between you and me, fats.
I don't belong here. I don't fit in.
Nonsense, of course you do.
-I mean it. Somebody must've goofed.
If I gotta stay here another day
I'm gonna go nuts.
Look, I don't belong in heaven, see?
I wanna go to the other place.
Heaven? Whatever gave you the idea
you were in heaven, Mr Valentine?
This is the other place.
A scared, angry little man
who never got a break.
Now he has everything
he's ever wanted.
And he's going to have to
live with it for eternity...
in the Twilight Zone.
English Subtitles by
B. Cornelis - Pandorafilm - Heerlen