The Sylvester & Tweety Mysteries (1995–2001): Season 3, Episode 9 - The Shell Game/Rasslin' Rhapsody - full transcript
[instrumental music]
[theme music]
♪ Whenever there's
a crime or trouble ♪
♪ That no one can solve
at all it seems ♪
♪ That's when they come
and on the double ♪
♪ Sylvester and Tweety
mysteries ♪
♪ It might be day
or night whenever ♪
♪ Conditions are right
for them to flee ♪
♪ So how it all
still fits together ♪
♪ Sylvester and Tweety
mysteries ♪
♪ If there's a full moon an old
house with rotten stairs ♪
♪ Just look around you ♪
♪ Chances are we'll be there ♪
♪ Some day I'll eat
that darn canary ♪
♪ And then I'll be happy
yes siree ♪
♪ But Hector think
you should be wary ♪
♪ Sylvester and Tweety
mysteries ♪
♪ The chase goes on
with each new mission ♪
♪ With backdrops
aplenty globally ♪
♪ And through it all
they're in contention ♪
♪ Sylvester and Tweety ♪
♪ Mysteries ♪♪
[instrumental music]
(Granny)
'"Flaria Riddlmeyer
requests the honor'
"of your attendance
at this address.
7:30 PM, September 17th."
tweet
[instrumental music]
Well, a gala event
is not exactly
the place I expected
to be solving a mystery.
[growling]
Sylvester!
'I want you two to be
on your best behavior.'
After all, we may be guests
but we're still hired help.
ding dong
Good evening, madam.
[indistinct chatter]
[clamoring]
whoosh
Hey, all you
letter writers out there.
I'm just playin' dead.
[indistinct chatter]
Comin' through, then.
Ooh. Oh, I beg your pardon.
'Oh, fiddle faddle.'
There go my peepers.
I can't see
a blessed thing without them.
Granny! Oh, Granny,
I am so glad you could make it.
As I told you, a cat burglar
has been stealing the jewels
of my guests,
every time I have a party.
Your plan is brilliant!
Wearing this
pearl necklace as bait.
You're certain to catch him!
[instrumental music]
Well, you're all set, Granny.
Good, I'll start around
and see what I can dig up.
Uh, you act natural.
[instrumental music]
Sylvester, what are you doing
wandering around out here?
pop
[chuckling]
Um, uh, could you
please see to it
that my pussycat
gets back where he belongs?
So this is the kitty kennel?
We could do worse.
[gulps]
Mm. Perrier. Private stock.
burp
[sighs]
Now this is livin'.
All comfy-scromfy,
little Lord Fauntleroy?
[gasps]
One-eyed Jack!
That's Jacque, to you.
Not the way
I remember it, Jack.
I haven't seen you since
we was up the river together.
[instrumental music]
[dogs barking]
[panting]
It's no use!
We're up against the wall now.
O-oh, wait!
We're not licked yet!
Look! Catnip bubblegum!
Hey! That's my gum.
Hey!
[dogs barking]
Give me the fish!
Give me the fish!
Come on, there's no time!
Lower the ladder!
Lower the ladder!
Come on, come on!
Give me the fish!
Give me the fish!
[dogs barking]
[spits]
So long, sucker!
[dogs growling]
wham wham wham
[Sylvester screaming]
[Jack laughing]
Enjoy your gum, Sylvester!
[laughing]
And I still gots the gum.
Don't have a hairball.
That was nine lives ago,
spilled milk under the bridge.
Save it for the litter box.
Those mongrels
had me for breakfast.
You look like
a dog's breakfast now.
[growling]
[grunts]
[scuffling]
If anybody needs me,
I'll be in the Jacuzzi.
crash crash crash
Now, where did those
darn bifocals get to?
If only I could
find the powder room.
Tsk. Tsk.
She's probably someone's mother.
Oh, here we are.
Oof!
- Out!
- O-oh. My mistake.
Ooh, ooh. I-I-I beg your pardon.
[groans]
- Oh!
- Come back here!
wham wham wham
splat
[instrumental music]
Oh, thank you,
don't mind if I do.
creak
[gasping]
crash
slam slam slam
crash
crash
splash
Surrender already!
Wonderful travel masks,
aren't they?
Yes, but this last one
is especially frightening.
Humph!
So I tell Hector,
"It gives me pleasure too
but we need to help Granny!"
[men laughing]
hiss
[mellow music]
Uh, uh, uh..
[sighs]
If only I could find a bathroom
I could get
these darned glasses out.
Oh, dear!
(male #1)
'Oof!'
No, really,
I do all my own stunts.
Uh, excuse me, miss, could you
direct me to the restroom?
I need to powder my nose.
Tsk, tsk, tsk.
Uh, could you see that this poor
thing gets something to eat?
These young girls are always
'fainting from over-dieting.'
- Whoa!
- Ow!
smack smack smack
swish
whoosh
Aah!
(Flaria)
'Granny, you caught him!'
You caught the cat burglar!
What great detective work!
A detective?
I should've known.
She's been
toying with me all evening.
Oh, well, I,
I-I-I mean, that is, I..
[yowling]
Puss!
What's mommy's little
scrunchy pudding been up to?
Oh...brother.
Is my bitty boo hungry-wungry?
Sylvester! You gotta
help me, get me out of here!
I can't take any more of this!
Sure! I'll help ya.
Here. Have some gum.
Say, I gotta do
my closing tag line, here.
Ahem.
Blind justice, or blind luck.
People, you decide!
[instrumental music]
[theme music]
[theme music]
♪ Whenever there's
a crime or trouble ♪
♪ That no one can solve
at all it seems ♪
♪ That's when they come
and on the double ♪
♪ Sylvester and Tweety
mysteries ♪
♪ It might be day
or night whenever ♪
♪ Conditions are right
for them to flee ♪
♪ So how it all
still fits together ♪
♪ Sylvester and Tweety
mysteries ♪
♪ If there's a full moon an old
house with rotten stairs ♪
♪ Just look around you ♪
♪ Chances are we'll be there ♪
♪ Some day I'll eat
that darn canary ♪
♪ And then I'll be happy
yes siree ♪
♪ But Hector think
you should be wary ♪
♪ Sylvester and Tweety
mysteries ♪
♪ The chase goes on
with each new mission ♪
♪ With backdrops
aplenty globally ♪
♪ And through it all
they're in contention ♪
♪ Sylvester and Tweety ♪
♪ Mysteries ♪♪
[instrumental music]
(Granny)
'"Flaria Riddlmeyer
requests the honor'
"of your attendance
at this address.
7:30 PM, September 17th."
tweet
[instrumental music]
Well, a gala event
is not exactly
the place I expected
to be solving a mystery.
[growling]
Sylvester!
'I want you two to be
on your best behavior.'
After all, we may be guests
but we're still hired help.
ding dong
Good evening, madam.
[indistinct chatter]
[clamoring]
whoosh
Hey, all you
letter writers out there.
I'm just playin' dead.
[indistinct chatter]
Comin' through, then.
Ooh. Oh, I beg your pardon.
'Oh, fiddle faddle.'
There go my peepers.
I can't see
a blessed thing without them.
Granny! Oh, Granny,
I am so glad you could make it.
As I told you, a cat burglar
has been stealing the jewels
of my guests,
every time I have a party.
Your plan is brilliant!
Wearing this
pearl necklace as bait.
You're certain to catch him!
[instrumental music]
Well, you're all set, Granny.
Good, I'll start around
and see what I can dig up.
Uh, you act natural.
[instrumental music]
Sylvester, what are you doing
wandering around out here?
pop
[chuckling]
Um, uh, could you
please see to it
that my pussycat
gets back where he belongs?
So this is the kitty kennel?
We could do worse.
[gulps]
Mm. Perrier. Private stock.
burp
[sighs]
Now this is livin'.
All comfy-scromfy,
little Lord Fauntleroy?
[gasps]
One-eyed Jack!
That's Jacque, to you.
Not the way
I remember it, Jack.
I haven't seen you since
we was up the river together.
[instrumental music]
[dogs barking]
[panting]
It's no use!
We're up against the wall now.
O-oh, wait!
We're not licked yet!
Look! Catnip bubblegum!
Hey! That's my gum.
Hey!
[dogs barking]
Give me the fish!
Give me the fish!
Come on, there's no time!
Lower the ladder!
Lower the ladder!
Come on, come on!
Give me the fish!
Give me the fish!
[dogs barking]
[spits]
So long, sucker!
[dogs growling]
wham wham wham
[Sylvester screaming]
[Jack laughing]
Enjoy your gum, Sylvester!
[laughing]
And I still gots the gum.
Don't have a hairball.
That was nine lives ago,
spilled milk under the bridge.
Save it for the litter box.
Those mongrels
had me for breakfast.
You look like
a dog's breakfast now.
[growling]
[grunts]
[scuffling]
If anybody needs me,
I'll be in the Jacuzzi.
crash crash crash
Now, where did those
darn bifocals get to?
If only I could
find the powder room.
Tsk. Tsk.
She's probably someone's mother.
Oh, here we are.
Oof!
- Out!
- O-oh. My mistake.
Ooh, ooh. I-I-I beg your pardon.
[groans]
- Oh!
- Come back here!
wham wham wham
splat
[instrumental music]
Oh, thank you,
don't mind if I do.
creak
[gasping]
crash
slam slam slam
crash
crash
splash
Surrender already!
Wonderful travel masks,
aren't they?
Yes, but this last one
is especially frightening.
Humph!
So I tell Hector,
"It gives me pleasure too
but we need to help Granny!"
[men laughing]
hiss
[mellow music]
Uh, uh, uh..
[sighs]
If only I could find a bathroom
I could get
these darned glasses out.
Oh, dear!
(male #1)
'Oof!'
No, really,
I do all my own stunts.
Uh, excuse me, miss, could you
direct me to the restroom?
I need to powder my nose.
Tsk, tsk, tsk.
Uh, could you see that this poor
thing gets something to eat?
These young girls are always
'fainting from over-dieting.'
- Whoa!
- Ow!
smack smack smack
swish
whoosh
Aah!
(Flaria)
'Granny, you caught him!'
You caught the cat burglar!
What great detective work!
A detective?
I should've known.
She's been
toying with me all evening.
Oh, well, I,
I-I-I mean, that is, I..
[yowling]
Puss!
What's mommy's little
scrunchy pudding been up to?
Oh...brother.
Is my bitty boo hungry-wungry?
Sylvester! You gotta
help me, get me out of here!
I can't take any more of this!
Sure! I'll help ya.
Here. Have some gum.
Say, I gotta do
my closing tag line, here.
Ahem.
Blind justice, or blind luck.
People, you decide!
[instrumental music]
[theme music]