The Sylvester & Tweety Mysteries (1995–2001): Season 1, Episode 13 - Go Fig - full transcript
Rancher Sam Ficus summons Granny and company when his fig harvest vanishes.
Figdale, where the digs of bigwigs
are built on figs.
Morning, boss. They're all here.
Listen, for the loot this
extra security's a-costing me
they'd better be.
Boss, it's happened again.
I lock my orchard up all night,
I guard my trees all day
and still my figs go and get rustled.
This here situation demands
the best crime solver
in these here parts.
Yeah, this is U.S. Secret
Service man, James East.
Missing figs?
Sorry, Mac, I only
take on serious cases
that showcase my sleek
fighting-man figure.
You better give an old
pal of mine a call.
Granny? Whoa!
'Now, despite our disagreements'
in the past, Granny
you're the best hombre..
Uh, woman, for this
here missing fig job.
It come to me in a crystal vision.
Looks like a vision with
long, sharp crystals.
Mm, mm. Catfish appetizers.
Ow, ow, ow! Ooh, ow!
Great horny toads. My prize piranha.
Oh, now you're a-dripping fishy doo
all over my beautiful office.
- Ew!
- Ha-ha-ha!
Sorry, Sam. Behave yourself, Sylvester.
My, what big incisors you have.
Now, who'd want to steal your figs?
That's just it. I got
no natural enemies.
I done whupped them all to
smithereenies. Ha-ha-ha!
'But there must be
someone with a motive.'
'Oh, more than likely
it's some ornery galoot'
'jealous of my fig empire.'
Your fig empire?
If you go take a look at the
Figdale business district
'you'll get my drift.'
Ooh, a big, hairy monster's after me.
Thud
Get these varmints out of here!
Thud
Oof!
Sheesh. And I thought I had a temper.
My, a fig shortage here
would destroy Sam's empire.
'Thank you, thank you very much.'
'Don't forget to try the veal.'
Hmm.
With a name like Wayne Figg
he must know something.
Uh, uh, pardon me, are you Wayne Figg?
That's me. The only fig
who's not missing.
Ha, ha. Get it? Rim shot, please.
You know about the missing figs?
Hey, who doesn't?
This town exhales figs in its sleep.
Well, so do I.
Uh, who's the authority
on figs here in Figdale?
That would be my brother.
Your brother?
Hey, you hear an echo?
My brother Fig Nose, a.k.a. Sir Isaac.
You'll find him over at the
Institute of Fig Technology.
Now, beat it, baby, I gotta
rehearse my big Fri. Show.
'He really said my name
was Fig Nose? Oh.'
I'd better renew my
restraining order on him.
It's a lonely life, being a genius
who takes his figs seriously.
'There's an abundance of
fig knowledge to relish.'
'The chief nutrient in
dried figs is sugar.'
'Mission figs have twice
as much vitamin A'
'as Kadotas, but far
more than Calimyrnas'
'to whet your interest
with some piquant facts.'
Come back here, you
little yellow lunch.
Aw, poor puddy full of hot air.
Ah, you see, Granny, figs
made Figdale's reputation
as fig grower of the nation,
an envy of the free world.
Figuratively speaking.
Oh, gracious, I thought they
were only a snack-bar filling.
'Well, boys, after that fig overload'
'I'm ready for a little ice cream.'
Um, uh..
"Fig vanilla, fig mocha
"fig java, fig pineapple
"fig pistachio, fig copper, fig peach
banana fig, spumoni fig.." Oh!
"Trail-mix fig, reconstituted-rust fig
'rain-forest fig."'
- ' "Fig Ernest Borgnine.." ' - Ew.
"And strawberry fig-leaf fondue."
Oh, look. "Chocolate."
Sir Isaac Fig has just been fignapped!
"Granny last person to see him alive."
Oh, my.
I should have paid closer
attention to his fig lecture.
Well, it took a night in the slammer,
but they believe my story.
Now we've got to find out who
kidnapped poor Sir Isaac
and find Sam's missing figs.
Last one. Ha-ha-ha!
Hey, wait a minute.
'Strike one.'
'Strike two.'
'Take your base.'
'What's this? The Fruit
Punch and Judy Show?'
Goodness, this fig shortage
has lowered the standard
of living here.
- Uh, yoo-hoo!
- Huh?
Wayne! Wayne Figg!
I'd like a word with you.
Oh, he wants to run, does he?
Well, you go run with him, Hector.
Thud
Really, Mr. Figg, I
just want to know...
If I did away with my brother. No!
Sure, I've been jealous of the creep
since the day he won that Nobel Prize
on the way to pick up his Peabody
but I'd never do anything rash. Phew!
My, you need a drink of water.
Oh, there's no tap water
on the whole block.
Been that way for weeks now.
Really?
Come on, Granny, you're
going for a ride, girl.
Oh, my goodness, people get pushy
when deprived of their figs.
Oh, look. Someone left us a message.
Lookie here, Granny.
Last night another big haul
of my prize figs got stole.
So I had my ranch hands
haul you out here
to guard the very last
unpilfered fig tree
I got left in the world.
Y'all stay right here
and watch my figs.
Adios, now.
I got me an English class... to teach.
Wonderful. We can pitch
camp right here.
Look, Sam spared no expense.
One for Tweety, one for Hector..
...and one for me.
Oh, cheer up, kitty. You're nocturnal.
You know what that means, don't you?
I don't have to spell it
out for you, do I? Sheesh.
Huh. You're nocturnal. Where
does she get that stuff?
Give me a break.
While the dog's asleep, the
cat will eat. Ha-ha-ha.
Huh?
Huh?
Mice.
Huh?
Hey, puddy, wait your turn to sleep.
What's this?
This great big tree just
took its clothes off.
So long, puddy. I gotta check this out.
Halt in the name of Granny.
Uh-oh. Yipe!
This avalanche is falling up on me.
I've been in jams before,
but not one made of figs.
Did they repeal the law of gravity?
Whoop! Look out. Whoop! Pardon me.
Well, what do you know? Helium.
There it is again.
What we got here?
Hey, that'd be something new.
Do we really wanna report
a flying bulldozer?
Ooh.
'If I didn't know better'
'I'd think this was the return'
'of the '60s, man.'
'Ooh. A maze just for little me.'
'Hmm, I've heard of putting
fluoride in water'
'but never helium-filled figs.'
Phew.
Hey, I've been here before.
Well, Sylvester
I guess you really didn't
swallow Tweety this time.
All of that milk of magnesia
wasn't so bad, now, was it?
Tweety. You're back.
My lower intestine salutes you.
We were so worried.
All the figs were stolen during
the night on Sylvester's watch.
Oh, isn't that sweet? You
saved one for Granny.
My goodness.
Oh, Hector, isn't that a big bone
I see buried under these roots?
Dare I say it? Aha!
Whoa, Hector.
Oh, don't fret, Hector.
Here's a bone for you.
Morning, Sam.
'Found my figs yet?'
No, but I've got a hunch where we will.
I knew something was amiss
yesterday when Wayne Figg said
that there hadn't been any
water on this block for weeks.
Oh, for crying out loud, Granny.
What's your plumbing problems
got to do with my missing figs?
Patience, Sam.
Your daytime security
failed to stop the thefts
'because your figs flew
the coop at night.'
thunk
How in tarnation?
I found this helium tank
connected to the last fig tree's roots.
The culprit force-fed helium
up through the trees by day
'causing your fruit to fly by night.'
Well, who done it? I'll skin him alive!
Sam, wouldn't you like your figs back?
Of course, you would.
Well, stand back, everyone.
Fire in the hole!
Boom
Yahoo!
I got me a fig gusher in the sky.
Now, there's something
you don't see too often.
'Well, Sir Isaac?'
Do you confess or do we
let you stay up there a little longer?
I give up. I did it.
I'll give you anything,
just let me down from here.
Hey, wait a minute.
Wasn't he shanghaied and
done away with, or what?
'Isaac faked his own disappearance'
'to cover his guilt.'
'And then..'
'Well, you tell us, Isaac.'
How and why you collected Sam's figs.
Oh, no, I couldn't.
You see, I invented a
lighter-than-air bulldozer.
It was my sole attempt
at automotive design
but it went rather awry.
After all the work of building it
I had to think of some
way to put it to use.
Oh, my, he is a genius.
Yep, well, you live and learn.
Which reminds me, I gotta get
to my stress-management class.
Adios.
Forty-nine thousand one
hundred fifty-one.
Forty-nine thousand one
hundred fifty-two.
Come on. We got plenty more to count.
'Ahoy down there!'
Happy landings, Granny.
So long, Sam.
And I thought he was kidding
when Sir Isaac said
he'd give me anything.
What's the matter, puddy?
You getting airsick?
'Nobody's ever gonna believe this'
'when I write my memoirs.'
are built on figs.
Morning, boss. They're all here.
Listen, for the loot this
extra security's a-costing me
they'd better be.
Boss, it's happened again.
I lock my orchard up all night,
I guard my trees all day
and still my figs go and get rustled.
This here situation demands
the best crime solver
in these here parts.
Yeah, this is U.S. Secret
Service man, James East.
Missing figs?
Sorry, Mac, I only
take on serious cases
that showcase my sleek
fighting-man figure.
You better give an old
pal of mine a call.
Granny? Whoa!
'Now, despite our disagreements'
in the past, Granny
you're the best hombre..
Uh, woman, for this
here missing fig job.
It come to me in a crystal vision.
Looks like a vision with
long, sharp crystals.
Mm, mm. Catfish appetizers.
Ow, ow, ow! Ooh, ow!
Great horny toads. My prize piranha.
Oh, now you're a-dripping fishy doo
all over my beautiful office.
- Ew!
- Ha-ha-ha!
Sorry, Sam. Behave yourself, Sylvester.
My, what big incisors you have.
Now, who'd want to steal your figs?
That's just it. I got
no natural enemies.
I done whupped them all to
smithereenies. Ha-ha-ha!
'But there must be
someone with a motive.'
'Oh, more than likely
it's some ornery galoot'
'jealous of my fig empire.'
Your fig empire?
If you go take a look at the
Figdale business district
'you'll get my drift.'
Ooh, a big, hairy monster's after me.
Thud
Get these varmints out of here!
Thud
Oof!
Sheesh. And I thought I had a temper.
My, a fig shortage here
would destroy Sam's empire.
'Thank you, thank you very much.'
'Don't forget to try the veal.'
Hmm.
With a name like Wayne Figg
he must know something.
Uh, uh, pardon me, are you Wayne Figg?
That's me. The only fig
who's not missing.
Ha, ha. Get it? Rim shot, please.
You know about the missing figs?
Hey, who doesn't?
This town exhales figs in its sleep.
Well, so do I.
Uh, who's the authority
on figs here in Figdale?
That would be my brother.
Your brother?
Hey, you hear an echo?
My brother Fig Nose, a.k.a. Sir Isaac.
You'll find him over at the
Institute of Fig Technology.
Now, beat it, baby, I gotta
rehearse my big Fri. Show.
'He really said my name
was Fig Nose? Oh.'
I'd better renew my
restraining order on him.
It's a lonely life, being a genius
who takes his figs seriously.
'There's an abundance of
fig knowledge to relish.'
'The chief nutrient in
dried figs is sugar.'
'Mission figs have twice
as much vitamin A'
'as Kadotas, but far
more than Calimyrnas'
'to whet your interest
with some piquant facts.'
Come back here, you
little yellow lunch.
Aw, poor puddy full of hot air.
Ah, you see, Granny, figs
made Figdale's reputation
as fig grower of the nation,
an envy of the free world.
Figuratively speaking.
Oh, gracious, I thought they
were only a snack-bar filling.
'Well, boys, after that fig overload'
'I'm ready for a little ice cream.'
Um, uh..
"Fig vanilla, fig mocha
"fig java, fig pineapple
"fig pistachio, fig copper, fig peach
banana fig, spumoni fig.." Oh!
"Trail-mix fig, reconstituted-rust fig
'rain-forest fig."'
- ' "Fig Ernest Borgnine.." ' - Ew.
"And strawberry fig-leaf fondue."
Oh, look. "Chocolate."
Sir Isaac Fig has just been fignapped!
"Granny last person to see him alive."
Oh, my.
I should have paid closer
attention to his fig lecture.
Well, it took a night in the slammer,
but they believe my story.
Now we've got to find out who
kidnapped poor Sir Isaac
and find Sam's missing figs.
Last one. Ha-ha-ha!
Hey, wait a minute.
'Strike one.'
'Strike two.'
'Take your base.'
'What's this? The Fruit
Punch and Judy Show?'
Goodness, this fig shortage
has lowered the standard
of living here.
- Uh, yoo-hoo!
- Huh?
Wayne! Wayne Figg!
I'd like a word with you.
Oh, he wants to run, does he?
Well, you go run with him, Hector.
Thud
Really, Mr. Figg, I
just want to know...
If I did away with my brother. No!
Sure, I've been jealous of the creep
since the day he won that Nobel Prize
on the way to pick up his Peabody
but I'd never do anything rash. Phew!
My, you need a drink of water.
Oh, there's no tap water
on the whole block.
Been that way for weeks now.
Really?
Come on, Granny, you're
going for a ride, girl.
Oh, my goodness, people get pushy
when deprived of their figs.
Oh, look. Someone left us a message.
Lookie here, Granny.
Last night another big haul
of my prize figs got stole.
So I had my ranch hands
haul you out here
to guard the very last
unpilfered fig tree
I got left in the world.
Y'all stay right here
and watch my figs.
Adios, now.
I got me an English class... to teach.
Wonderful. We can pitch
camp right here.
Look, Sam spared no expense.
One for Tweety, one for Hector..
...and one for me.
Oh, cheer up, kitty. You're nocturnal.
You know what that means, don't you?
I don't have to spell it
out for you, do I? Sheesh.
Huh. You're nocturnal. Where
does she get that stuff?
Give me a break.
While the dog's asleep, the
cat will eat. Ha-ha-ha.
Huh?
Huh?
Mice.
Huh?
Hey, puddy, wait your turn to sleep.
What's this?
This great big tree just
took its clothes off.
So long, puddy. I gotta check this out.
Halt in the name of Granny.
Uh-oh. Yipe!
This avalanche is falling up on me.
I've been in jams before,
but not one made of figs.
Did they repeal the law of gravity?
Whoop! Look out. Whoop! Pardon me.
Well, what do you know? Helium.
There it is again.
What we got here?
Hey, that'd be something new.
Do we really wanna report
a flying bulldozer?
Ooh.
'If I didn't know better'
'I'd think this was the return'
'of the '60s, man.'
'Ooh. A maze just for little me.'
'Hmm, I've heard of putting
fluoride in water'
'but never helium-filled figs.'
Phew.
Hey, I've been here before.
Well, Sylvester
I guess you really didn't
swallow Tweety this time.
All of that milk of magnesia
wasn't so bad, now, was it?
Tweety. You're back.
My lower intestine salutes you.
We were so worried.
All the figs were stolen during
the night on Sylvester's watch.
Oh, isn't that sweet? You
saved one for Granny.
My goodness.
Oh, Hector, isn't that a big bone
I see buried under these roots?
Dare I say it? Aha!
Whoa, Hector.
Oh, don't fret, Hector.
Here's a bone for you.
Morning, Sam.
'Found my figs yet?'
No, but I've got a hunch where we will.
I knew something was amiss
yesterday when Wayne Figg said
that there hadn't been any
water on this block for weeks.
Oh, for crying out loud, Granny.
What's your plumbing problems
got to do with my missing figs?
Patience, Sam.
Your daytime security
failed to stop the thefts
'because your figs flew
the coop at night.'
thunk
How in tarnation?
I found this helium tank
connected to the last fig tree's roots.
The culprit force-fed helium
up through the trees by day
'causing your fruit to fly by night.'
Well, who done it? I'll skin him alive!
Sam, wouldn't you like your figs back?
Of course, you would.
Well, stand back, everyone.
Fire in the hole!
Boom
Yahoo!
I got me a fig gusher in the sky.
Now, there's something
you don't see too often.
'Well, Sir Isaac?'
Do you confess or do we
let you stay up there a little longer?
I give up. I did it.
I'll give you anything,
just let me down from here.
Hey, wait a minute.
Wasn't he shanghaied and
done away with, or what?
'Isaac faked his own disappearance'
'to cover his guilt.'
'And then..'
'Well, you tell us, Isaac.'
How and why you collected Sam's figs.
Oh, no, I couldn't.
You see, I invented a
lighter-than-air bulldozer.
It was my sole attempt
at automotive design
but it went rather awry.
After all the work of building it
I had to think of some
way to put it to use.
Oh, my, he is a genius.
Yep, well, you live and learn.
Which reminds me, I gotta get
to my stress-management class.
Adios.
Forty-nine thousand one
hundred fifty-one.
Forty-nine thousand one
hundred fifty-two.
Come on. We got plenty more to count.
'Ahoy down there!'
Happy landings, Granny.
So long, Sam.
And I thought he was kidding
when Sir Isaac said
he'd give me anything.
What's the matter, puddy?
You getting airsick?
'Nobody's ever gonna believe this'
'when I write my memoirs.'