The Super Hero Squad Show (2009–2011): Season 2, Episode 13 - Pedicure and Facial of Doom! - full transcript

When Doc Doom returns to Latveria, he finds his mother has turned castle Doom into a luxurious spa. And the among the chilled out guest are several members of the Super Hero Squad.

(Dr. Doom)
Those blasted Infinity Stones!

(MODOK)
Yeah, those blasted stones.

(Abomination)
Who needs 'em!

Who needs them?

Who needs them!

I need them you nitwits!

The holder of the Infinity Stones
controls the universe!

Yeah, that's what I said.
You need 'em.

You're darn skippy!

(MODOK)
What he needs is a chill pill.

(both snicker)



Silence!

I have been through
the belly of the beast.

Uh, Fin Fang Foom?

Moomba? Groot?
Spragg the Living Hill?

Hulk? Ms. Marvel?

(cries out)

It does not matter which beast.

I have been through
the wringer.

Up the down staircase
and out the heart of darkness.

Jailed! Beaten!

Bested by my inferiors.

Forced to take a potty break
every 20 minutes!

I need to sulk.

I mean, regroup in the peace
and serenity of my homeland.



Oh, Latveria.

(both) Latveria?

Latveria? Yes!

Where a damp, dark

and foreboding evil castle

waits for me.

Now give me another piece
of divinity log.

(Dr. Doom) What is this?

(Abomination) Pretty.

Wait a minute.

(both) Ow!

Oh, that girly castle is mine.

Doh!

With this Infinity Gauntlet I,
Thanos, will rule the universe!

All right Squaddies,
time to Hero up!

♪ When the bad guys are out
all you have to do is shout now ♪

♪ Who's gonna Hero up? ♪

♪ Well, they may not get along
but they're always fighting strong now ♪

♪ Who's gonna Hero up? ♪

♪ Who'll save the day?
The Super Hero Squad ♪

♪ They'll Hero up again ♪

♪ Super Hero Squad!
Hero up ♪

♪ Wolverine and Hulk are fierce
Thanos ends up in tears ♪

♪ When Iron Man
joins the fight ♪

♪ Falcon darts in from the sky,
Scarlet Witch by his side ♪

♪ Thor's hammer
has thunder's might ♪

♪ Who'll save the day?
The Super Hero Squad ♪

♪ They'll Hero up again ♪

♪ Super Hero Squad!
Hero up ♪

♪ Super Hero Squad!
Hero up ♪

♪ Super Hero Squad ♪

(groans)

Ms. Marvel calling
the Super Hero Squad!

Hey, Ms. M. Why the salad face?

Peek-a-boo!
(giggles)

Today is your lucky day, Iron Man.

I've gotten SHIELD
to foot the bill

for a bonding retreat
at the most wonderful new spa.

- A what?
- A spa day!

(laughs)

Don't you think you all
need to pamper yourselves

- once in a while?
- I do pamper myself,

you should see what my on board
audio system costs.

A spa day? Really?

With the rest
of the Squad patrolling

the known universe
for signs of Thanos?

Scarlet Witch has a point.
This doesn't smell right.

Well, everything smells
great over here, Wolverine.

Check it out.

I'm Nick Fury!

Now haul your keisters
over here pronto,

ya lousy goldbricks!

Sending coordinates now.

Marvel out.

- Gotta be a trap.
- Ya think?

Okay, okay. So it's a trap,

we still have to rescue
Ms. Marvel.

And I can't remember
the last mission

that came with a free foot rub.

Oh wait, yes I do.

Ah that Iron Fist
sure knows his feet.

Helicarrier, lock onto
those coordinates.

(Helicarrier)
Helicarrier locked on.

Changing course.

What is going on here?

(both)
Welcome to the New Castle Doom:

A relaxing luxury retreat.

Doombot, have you completely
lost your programming?

Spa fun.

It is our wish that you will cherish
your memories of Latveria for a lifetime.

Have a nice day. Spa fun!

I am not luggage!

I am Doom!

Ow.

(strains)

- For you.
- Owie!

Come on, lackeys!

(whistles) Swank place.

Yeah. Quelle decor.

Mauve and sea foam green?
Hideous.

Aah! What is this?

There is no "Luxury Lounge"
at Castle Doom.

What happened to my dungeon?

(woman)
Oh. Right there!

Hiya, Doomsie.
How's the fugitive life?

Spa Fun! Hot Stone Treatment!

Hot Stone treatment-superheated,
for super heroes!

Spa fun!

Who programmed my robots
to give treatments?

(woman)
I did.

And you have got some nerve,

Vicky, coming by
without calling first.

Mama?

But, how did you escape
your imprisonment...

I mean your retirement
in Chthon's realm?

(mumbles)

Not now. Company's coming.

(Iron Man) Doctor Doom?

(Scarlet Witch)
And Coco von Doom.

What did I tell ya, Witchy?
No such thing.

Welcome to the New Castle Doom:

A relaxing luxury retreat.

(grunts)

Have-Have a nice day.

(shrieks)

(laughs)

One down.

And three to go.

(coughs)

Well, you can't fight
all the time, eh?

No, can't fight all the time.

(all laugh)

No, 'cause if you fight
all the time then that's...

you know, too much fighting,
right?

What have you done, mother?

What is that pink frou-frou
poopy stuff?

My secret aroma-therapy weapon,
Super-Chill mist.

Spa Fun!

Hurry up.
Now, welcome guests.

Pedicures and facials
are awaiting you

in the Luxury Lounge.

(Iron Man)
Wow the perks just keep on coming.

No fun like "Spa Fun."

I are confused.

Huh?

Why, thank you.

(laughs)

(chomping)

(belches)

(laughs) I must congratulate you

on your fiendish plan,
Coco dear.

You've killed with kindness,

and so stylishly.

Such exquisite evil,
such infernal grace.

My bunions wait for no one.
Chthon,

rub out those kinks.

I cannot believe that Chthon
had her imprisoned in his realm,

and now he's her punk
puppy servant!

(shudders) Disgusting.

Anything for you,
Coco, my sweet.

Ugh.

Don't you know
there are things a son

should simply never see?

Ah relax, sonny boy.

Chill out.

Ha. Micro air-purifier
in the mask.

Just like Mama taught you,
aren't you just the clever one?

More clever than you.

So, how's your
criminal empire going?

That awful place, Villainville?

Uh. Destroyed?

Good. What a dump.

Oh!

And aren't you on the run
for breaking out of prison

or something?

Yes.

Well don't feel bad, Vicky,

some of us are just too weak
to take over the world,

or too timid, or too lame.

With my Super-Chill mist,

I'll show you how
world domination is done!

Whatever, Mommy dearest,

but Castle Doom is my home,

my lair of evil!

I demand that you change
everything back at once.

Oh, bravo, my temperamental
little child.

Need I remind you that
the castle deed is in my name?

Oh.

At least can I have
my old room back?

I'll let you stay, Vicky...

If you massage my feet,

file my corns, shampoo my hair,

and spit-shine my mask!

(Dr. Doom) Oh, Mommy.

Fine!

(Wolverine screams)

(Wolverine screams)

(cries out)

Don't stop. Don't stop!

Sigh.

Can you believe it?

(cries out)

Is it me, or is the clientele
here a little dicey?

Ugh. Heroes.

(screams)

Oh, man, that hurts so good.

Ahh...

No pain. No owies.

Ah. Yeah, that feels...

(cries out)

Chair's shorting out!

(screams)

(Wolverine screams)

You might be a hero, dear,

but you've got some truly
evil and nasty skin problems.

(giggles)
I know. It's the mask.

I wear it all the time.

I'm working my knuckles
to the bone,

clearing out your pores.

It's like I'm rooting
for truffles under there!

(giggles)

(gasps)

Hey! What the heck
am I doing here?

(giggles)

Oh, I don't even know what
I was saying?

All finished.
Time for a soak.

(groans)

Ahh...

Mmm. The water's so warm.

That's because I'm scared.

So I peed.

You all know my personal valet,

my ne'er do well son, Vicky.

Heya.

Ahh, surrounded by luxury.

I feel like a rich guy.

Well, don't just stand there
like an lox,

Iron Man needs service.

This is not
the Latverian lifestyle

I have grown accustomed to.

No back talk from you,
little man.

Who do you think you are?
This is my castle

and what I say goes,

my way or the highway!

Yes, mother dear.

That cursed nagging power.

Make sure he gets
a proper pedicure, too!

Oh, this can't be real.

This can't be real!
I must pinch myself.

This isn't a dream!

It's all too real!

(gasps) Air! Air!

(laughs) The hot spa water's
made you all shrively.

(laughs)

Why don't you zip it?

That's enough lounging around
for you two dodos.

(grunts)

I need sixty pounds of bat guano
for a special facial mask.

Belfry's in the tower.

Uh, which way to the tower?

Upstairs!

You know who could
really use a facial?

The Incredible Hulk.

(chuckles)
Ain't he un-glamorous?

Feh.

Speaking of glamor,

where'd Scarlet Witch has get to?

I assure you that you
needn't worry about her.

Ah. If I was still a villain,

I'd want a trap just like this.

(hum grows louder)

(sniffs)

(cries out)

What's going on around here?
Where am I?

Doh.

That cursed Hex power

not only ruined the tanning trap,

it cleared your head.

I know now. You're that evil Chthon.

Yes, and I'm too relaxed myself
to imprison you in my dimension,

although the association dues
are quite reasonable.

Doombot, attack!

Spa fun!

(grunts)

Spa fun!

I can't hex
with my hands pinned.

(laughs) Nice.

(strains)

(gasps)

Not so fast, kitten.

Ah, sunburn.

(giggles)

Chthon, go and prepare
my ultimate weapon.

Oh, now I know what you're
really up to, mommy dearest.

What genius!

With the heroes duped in a stupor,

you can hold the world hostage

to your diabolical nagging whims.

Well, well, well, I'm surprised
that you were smart enough

to follow my brilliantly
evil scheme.

I suppose brains
do run in the family.

But I have more
than mere aroma-therapy

to make the world submit to me.

(laughs)

That's right, she dupes
to conquer.

Get it?

Chthon for the win.

(giggles)

Oh.

Oh, my. A ruby-quartz laser
tanning death ray!

It ain't a squirt-gun, baby.

Fasten your seat belts,

it's going to be a bumpy night.

But your wicked plan would subject
the world to your nagging power!

You know it.

(giggles) Piggyback!

Whoa. Slow down.

- Giddyap.
- Oh, wake up, hero.

Wake up, wake up, wake up!

If you take over the world,

what am I supposed to do?

Mm-hmm.

I'm going to stop you,
Mommy dearest.

Eh, I'll deal with him later.

Time to show the world
who's the mama.

You go, girl.

I'll start first
with a little tough love...

(electricity crackles)

...by destroying
Super Hero City,

halfway around the world.

Hey...

never mind.

You... quit it, okay?

It's not nice.

Super Hero Squad,
um, Hero up.

♪ When the bad guys are out
all you have to do is shout now ♪

♪ Who's gonna Hero up? ♪

♪ They'll save the day again ♪

♪ Super Hero Squad!
Hero up ♪

Mm-hmm.

Spa fun.

Spa fun. Spa fun.

Hey, you doombots.

Must fight the relaxation.

(snores)

Oops. Forgot the claws.

(grunts)

Ah, so good.

My advanced metabolism is already
burning off your Super Chill, Coco!

(giggles) Mostly.

So what, dear?

Boys don't like girls who fight.

Huh? What?

Your room is a mess.
Get your elbows off the table.

Stand up straight! Spit out your gum!
Look at me when I'm talking to you!

Nagging force too strong.

Still too chill.

(groans)

I'd love to kick you,
but I just washed my hair.

Chthon!

Let 'er rip!

(farting)

Ewww.

No!

At last, the world will submit
to me, Coco Von Doom.

- Mother!
- Oh!

Well, not if we can help it, Mommy.

(strains)

No.

We've been in Iron Man's lab
on the Helicarrier, Granny.

What did you call me?

I just developed
a Super-De-Chillifying Mist.

Chemistry beats aroma-therapy,
hands down!

Give me that!

C'mon, wake up you guys.

Uh, Mandarin!

Ugh. Morning.

(yawns) Morning.

(clamoring)

(laughs)

Here ya go, Squaddies, lock 'er up.

You'll never put me
into human bondage.

I'll have a dark victory.

(Ms. Marvel)
Can it, Coco Von Doofus.

You and your boyfriend
are going into SHIELD custody.

(laughs)

(mutters)

Doom, on the other hand,
is an escaped prisoner.

Drat.

You'll never take me alive.

(laughs)

(screams)

(loud splash)

(bubbles gurgle)

(Dr. Doom)
Nuts!

MODOK, you fool!

You were supposed to have
the rocket idling

outside the window!

One or two Infinity Stones

are not enough to make up
for this latest blow to my ego.

From now on, I'm after the whole
Infinity Gauntlet itself.

Time to confront Thanos,

and nothing's going to stand
in my way.

(laughs)