The Super Hero Squad Show (2009–2011): Season 2, Episode 10 - Lo, How the Mighty Hath Abdicated! - full transcript
Enchantress puts a spell on Odin to make him marry her but since she has no royal blood, Thor has to take his fathers place as ruler of Asgard. Meanwhile Magneto and Quicksilver are looking for the Scarlet Witch and assume she is being held captive by the Super Hero Squad.
- (gong sounds)
- So, Ho gun the Grim,
how goeth things
with my firstborn son, Thor?
He never calls, he never writes.
Thor continues to adventure
with the Super Hero Squad.
Oh, yes, my son's heroics make me proud.
Thank you, Grim Ho gun.
Next!
(gong sounds)
Oh, that's me.
(gasps) Am or a the Enchantress?
What do you want, sorceress?
Why, Thor, of course! But I'm
sick of waiting around for him.
If I can't be happy,
at least I can be royal.
Love Lutefisk, away!
(guffaws) Enchantress!
Wilst thou maketh me
piest Asgardian in all of Asgard
and take my hand in marriage? Oh,
not literally, darling. I needeth my hand.
It's only an expression.
(laughs)
Right. Except for this here
difference in their ages,
if anybody knows why
these two should not be joined
in a hunk-a-hunk
of burning matrimony...
Aren't you forgetting something?
Perhaps, like Frigga, your wife?
By the mackerel!
I am already married! (Grunts)
Huh, what was I saying?
(sobbing)
(sobbing continues)
(long sniffle)
(continues sobbing)
(chuckles) Now where were we?
All right, now. By the power
vested in me by, uh, well, you, Odin,
I now pronounce thee
man and wife.
Thank you. Thank you very much.
(kissing)
(Evil laughter)
With this Infinity Gauntlet, I,
Thanos, will rule the universe!
All right, Squaddies,
time to hero up.
♪ When the bad guys are out,
All you have to do is shout now ♪
♪ Who's gonna hero up? ♪
♪ Well, they may not get along, But
they're always fighting strong now ♪
♪ Who's gonna hero up? ♪
♪ Who'll save the day?
The Super Hero Squad ♪
♪ They'll hero up again ♪
♪ Super Hero Squad! Hero up ♪
♪ Wolverine and Hulk are fierce,
Even Thanos is in tears ♪
♪ When Iron Man
Joins the fight ♪
♪ Falcon darts in from the sky,
Scarlet Witch by his side ♪
♪ Thor's hammer
Has thunder's might ♪
♪ Who'll save the day?
The Super Hero Squad ♪
♪ They'll hero up again ♪
♪ Super Hero Squad! Hero up ♪
♪ Super Hero Squad! Hero up ♪
♪ Super Hero Squad ♪
(grunts)
(sighs)
It'd be so much easier
to just let the lawn die.
Then I wouldn't have
to mow it all the time.
This is so boring.
Yes!
Saved by the mysterious blur!
(pants)
Hey, Quicksilver!
What's the rush?
I'm looking for my sister.
She's been missing for weeks.
Wanda? No, no, no. She's not
missing. She's on the Helicarrier.
- Whoa!
- (crash)
(groans)
Hang on, sis!
Yeah, you're welcome.
Dad! She's on the Helicarrier!
My daughter, the Scarlet Witch,
is on the Helicarrier?
She must have been captured
by the good guys!
Oh, the poor girl! What horrendous
ordeals she must be enduring!
(Scarlet Witch) I cannot endure
this ordeal any longer!
We are not watching
anymore shows about funny pets!
It's science research.
Verily! Thor hath taught the Hulk
to catch a Frisbee! Go long, boy!
Hulk got it!
If Falcon and Wolverine weren't
out in space on Thanos Patrol,
they'd be on my side.
(laughs) Such levity. 'Twould be
difficult, since you are standing.
Hey!
You're gonna love this show.
It's called
"Destroy, Destroy, Destroy."
(gasps)
(grunts)
All father!
Your giant holographic head
arrives just in time
to give us pause.
Oh, yes. Arise, Son of Asgard.
Father Odin? You look different.
(laughs) I hath news, Thor.
Oh, just spill it, will you?
We're married! See?
Check out this rock!
I say thee, yeesh!
Ta-ta, son!
This cannot stand!
I must hie my heinie to Asgard
and stop this madness
lest she rent out my room!
Poor Thor.
And his mother, Frigga.
How could Odin go and marry
the Enchantress of all people?
Ooh! How could he not? At least
we know his eyes are working.
Wow! And suddenly getting put
in time-out doesn't seem so bad.
Huh, I have a million of these.
Thor needs our support,
not our ridicule.
(beeps)
Can't we do both?
Wanda, you're right. We
should go with Thor and help him.
Ah, Hulk fetch! (Grunts)
Uh, where Big Hammer?
Herbie, set a course for Asgard.
But first, set the DVR
to record my show.
(beeps)
Already season passed it.
And that, my friend, is why you are
an invaluable member of this team.
Observe.
One of the advantages
of my magnetic powers:
Skitching a ride!
Yay! (Laughing) Sorry.
When I think of all the millenni
I've wasted on that gigolo!
(sobbing)
Oh, he does tend to jiggle.
There, there, Mother.
It's the same old story:
You know,
the more powerful the man,
the younger the
witch on his arm.
(sobbing)
Let me get you some more tea.
Ooh! I can't believe my luck!
This wasn't even my scheme,
but I'm going to use it
to end up ruling Asgard!
Score!
Change the drapes.
Call somebody to redo the floors
the walls, and the upholstery.
And get this icky old man
off my throne.
Whoops, he can stay.
It's just so exciting being Quee
(laughs)
Loki!
Come to pay your respects
to your new stepmother?
Not exactly, Enchantress.
- Pudding face, how about a cuddle?
- Not now!
Oh, you'll have plenty of time for
that after what I'm about to tell you.
Ever read the
Norse Saga of Rules?
There's a particularly riveting
part here about commoners.
What?
A non-royal, a plebe, a... you.
You see, when Odin married you, he
married an atrociously common commoner.
He gave up his
right to the throne!
He's no longer king,
so you're not the queen!
Hah! In your face! (Laughs)
Happy dance, happy dance.
(laughs) Watch the horns.
(humming)
Oh, yeah, baby.
This-this cannot be!
No, no, he's right, bouncy bear.
I was going to mention it,
but thy bodaciousness
held my tongue as if in a vice.
And furthermore,
since Odin's firstborn is too busy
fighting cosmic villains on Earth,
who's next in line
and the rightful King?
Let's see, um,
who could it be? Um.
Oh, yeah, it's me! (Laughs)
(vocalizes)
Father! What madness be this?
'Tis love madness, baby boy!
Forsooth! Odin hath
abdicated the throne for love!
The new King of Asgard
be-eth his firstborn son, Thor!
Uh! Who with the what now?
Long live King Thor!
Oh, no! Long live King Loki!
- (laughs) How do you like it?
- Shut up.
Hey! I may not be queen, but that's
no way to talk to your new stepmother.
Now go to your room, young man,
before I spank you!
(grimaces) You're not my
real mother! (Blows a raspberry)
You know what? Fine!
Have fun being king, Thor.
Now if you'll excuse me,
my husband and I
have to go look into
some retirement housing.
Okay, Squaddies, fan out! Find
Thor and see what's going on.
Thor, you...
Hey, that was easy. Hi, Thor.
- What that on Big Hammer?
- A crown.
An honor to meet you, Squaddies.
You've always been Ho gun's heroes.
Friends, hath I
got a story for you!
Odin unwittingly
abdicated his throne.
Thor is the new ruler of Asgard.
Oh, well, thank you. You just
stole the Thunder Prince's thunder.
What he said.
Wow, congratulations,
your ruler-ship.
That is pretty cool.
(beeps) Alert!
Thor must stay here to be king.
Buh! Big Hammer not coming home?
Alas, no, green friend.
A greater duty calls.
(all snigger)
Hammer say "Doody."
(sighs)
I said "duty" with a "T."
(chuckles) You said it again.
(sighs) Fare thee well, Herbie.
I shall miss thy girlish laugh.
Good-bye, Scarlet Witch.
I shall miss fighting over yon
television remote with thee.
Hasta la vista, Hulk.
I'm sure someday thou shalt find
where thou buried all thy action figures.
(quiet sobbing)
And I'll... Oh, there I go.
And I'll miss you
most of all, Tin Man.
- It's Iron Man.
- Don't spoil my moment.
(sobs) Hulk never see
action figures again?
Hmm, Wise King Thor.
King Thor the Wise.
MC Thory-Thor.
Huh, it's all on me now
to leadeth my people
and solveth all their
many, many problems.
- (gong sounds)
- (clears throat)
Ah, this troll's tree
overhangeth in mine property.
And its leaves droppeth
in mine swimming pool!
- (belches)
- (grimaces)
Lo! I shall use mine uru hammer
to break the tree in half.
And the pool!
(grunts)
That is what Wise King Thor
bringeth to the table!
A Hammer!
Healthcare?
Education?
Taxes?
Hah! Hammer! Hammer! Hammer!
(laughs) This is fun!
Next?
(clamoring)
Oh!
Big Hammer gone forever?
Here, Hulk, sit down on my lap.
On second thoughts, don't.
Sometimes, we have to say
good-bye to the things we love,
like when your pet goldfish
ran away.
(beeps) Alert! Goldfish went to
live at Marine World. Remember?
Huh? Why fishy want
to join military?
(chuckles)
Hulk, marine also means...
You know what, never mind.
Huh! That's silly.
- (explosion)
- Aah!
I won't allow you Squaddies
to hold my daughter prisoner!
Magneto!
(laughs) Well, well, if it isn't
the invincible Iron Man.
Now that we've come together,
I'm going to relish taking you apart.
Not if I take you apart first!
(grunts)
(grunts)
What a sad and harmless
super hero you are.
Don't bet on it.
I'm just getting started!
No, you're not. I am!
(grunts)
Can't fight. Can't move.
Like being trapped inside
an electromagnetic vice!
Correct, Iron Man. And now comes the
moment where I relish taking you apart.
(grunts)
Magneto's magnetic power,
dismantling my armor
with me inside!
(chuckles)
(screams)
Ooh, look.
Hulk find his little fishy.
(grunts)
Sorry.
- (screams)
- (grunts)
- (thud)
- (grunts)
You no hurt
Hulk's friend any more.
(grunts)
(roars)
(grunts)
(Magneto) Quicksilver! Get this
green-skinned oaf off of me now!
- Oh!
- Ooh!
(pants)
Uh-oh, Hulk dizzy.
Where air go? (Pants)
(thud)
(grunts)
(laughs, grunts)
(thud)
Daddy?
What are you doing
to my friends?
Her "friends"?
Isn't it obvious?
Wanda's been brainwashed!
It may take weeks to
reprogram her.
Pietro, keep her from hexing!
Uh! Let go of me,
you... you brother, you!
Daddy!
Odin, lift up your feet
so I can vacuum under them!
(cries out)
I've given you the best 15 minutes
of my life, minus commercial breaks,
and what do I have
to show for it?
That's it!
I'm canceling the Lutefisk!
Huh?
Somebody crossed my whammy
with a mystic shimmy!
(grunting)
(laughs) And that shimmy
would belong to yours truly.
(laughs) Enchantress and Odin
will stay stuck married for all eternity!
Now, to destroy my dear half-bro
Thor, and get that crown.
Oh, poor King Thor.
So much responsibility.
Uneasy lies the head that
wears the crown, eh, brother?
I... Wha... Uh!
What dost thou mean?
I'm not lying down.
Oh, and I can only imagine how
much you must miss your old heroic life.
(sighs)
I mean, I'm not even tired.
It's daytime.
No!
You stop playing stupid,
brother! You should not be king!
I wonder if I'm allowed
to leave for bathroom breaks?
(cackling)
(siren wailing)
(crash)
(grunts)
(thud)
(yells)
Didst thou say something?
You dumb bunny! I'm trying to
destroy you with my mystic blast!
(gasps)
Not cool, brother.
(Scarlet Witch)
Eh, you don't get it!
We're on 24-hour alert in case
Wolvie and Falc find Thanos!
And Thor's left us short-handed.
She's babbling, Father.
I say thee nay!
You're always saying "thee nay."
Naysayer!
I'm rubber and thou art paste!
Whatever thou sayeth,
bounceth off me
and sticketh to thou with haste!
So sayeth Thor.
Duh, your teeth are brighter
than you are.
Oh! You taketh that back,
you horn-helmeted toad!
Make me.
The most powerful Asgardian
of all is still my mind slave!
So I'll reclaim the throne
the old fashioned way
by destroying both King Thor
and Prince Loki!
I did not see this coming.
(Enchantress) Don't just stand
there, destroy them already!
For thee, anything,
sweet potato pie.
- (grunts)
- (groans)
By Odin's mighty mustache,
we mustn't harm a hair on
Father's poor mind-controlled head!
Mmm.
Uh-oh!
(grunts)
I'm more worried
about my own head, thank you.
Get them!
I summon the Odinforce!
(grunts)
Oh, snap.
Come on, green guy,
snap out of it. We need you!
Oil leak. (Beeps)
(grunts)
Huh? Oh.
(trills lips)
Hulk got this.
(grunts)
Whew! Thanks. I was getting
a leg cramp, and a neck cramp.
Back cramp. Shoulder cramp.
Toe cramp. Sacroiliac cramp.
Can you get a cramp
in your uvula?
(yawns)
I hope my warranty's still good.
(beeps)
Just be glad
you don't have a uvula.
Uh, hey, where pointy?
We're gonna save our teammate,
Hulk! Time to hero up!
♪ When the bad guys are out,
All you have to do os shout now ♪
♪ Who's gonna hero up? ♪
♪ Super Hero Squad! Hero up ♪
No take more
of Hulk's friends away!
Daddy! Which part of "these are
my friends" do you not understand?
Pretty much the whole thing.
(groans)
Stay thy hand, Father! Thou
shalt regretteth it in the morning.
I...
cannot.
Oh!
Dear boy.
(gasp) You-you broke my spell?
And my shimmy? Oops!
You!
Who dareth ensourcelle
the King of Asgard?
Actually, you're not the king. You
married a commoner, remember?
Them's the breaks.
- (gasps)
- I divorce thee!
- I divorce thee! I divorce thee!
- Whatever.
Father, I believe
this doth belong to you.
Now bring me my good Frigga,
who has sufferedeth long enougheth.
There, done.
Odin's no good to me as a
husband without being king.
(Frigga)
You conniving temptress!
Only now that he's not married
to you anymore, he's king again!
Huzzah!
Oh! Oh!
I just can't win.
Ah! Welcome to my world.
Oh, well. I've got three episodes
of Scandinavian Idol recorded.
Later.
- (crash)
- (all gasp)
- (Hulk growling)
- (all groaning)
Uh... (nervous chuckle)
What are you gonna do?
My friends. (Chuckles)
Daughter!
We are going home this instant!
Tough love, baby.
I'm not going anywhere
with you, Father.
How dare you use that tone of
voice with me, young lady?
As long as you're living under
my roof, you will live by my rules!
But I'm not living under your
roof. I'm a... hero.
(grimaces)
Kids today.
You try to raise them right,
you try to set an evil example,
and this is the thanks I get?
Yes, my magnetic homeboy.
We must take care
that the unbreakable bond
of a father's love
never becomes a shackle,
or a tether, or a garrote.
Uh, thou knows what I meaneth.
(stifled sob) I loveth
when Father uses big words!
(sobs)
What? Don't look at me,
I have allergies.
- I have something in my eye.
- Yes.
Make Hulk cry.
Oh, bravo, Father.
I'm touched. Not!
(blows a raspberry)
I don't want to go back
to being an evil intern, Daddy.
My home is with the Squaddies.
I'm one of them now.
If you need me,
you know where I'll be.
Indeed,
but know this,
If our paths ever cross as hero
and villain, I will not hold back!
Me neither.
Come, Quicksilver!
(both gasp)
Oh!
Could you, uh, heroes
give us a ride back to Earth?
(nervous chuckle)
- So, Ho gun the Grim,
how goeth things
with my firstborn son, Thor?
He never calls, he never writes.
Thor continues to adventure
with the Super Hero Squad.
Oh, yes, my son's heroics make me proud.
Thank you, Grim Ho gun.
Next!
(gong sounds)
Oh, that's me.
(gasps) Am or a the Enchantress?
What do you want, sorceress?
Why, Thor, of course! But I'm
sick of waiting around for him.
If I can't be happy,
at least I can be royal.
Love Lutefisk, away!
(guffaws) Enchantress!
Wilst thou maketh me
piest Asgardian in all of Asgard
and take my hand in marriage? Oh,
not literally, darling. I needeth my hand.
It's only an expression.
(laughs)
Right. Except for this here
difference in their ages,
if anybody knows why
these two should not be joined
in a hunk-a-hunk
of burning matrimony...
Aren't you forgetting something?
Perhaps, like Frigga, your wife?
By the mackerel!
I am already married! (Grunts)
Huh, what was I saying?
(sobbing)
(sobbing continues)
(long sniffle)
(continues sobbing)
(chuckles) Now where were we?
All right, now. By the power
vested in me by, uh, well, you, Odin,
I now pronounce thee
man and wife.
Thank you. Thank you very much.
(kissing)
(Evil laughter)
With this Infinity Gauntlet, I,
Thanos, will rule the universe!
All right, Squaddies,
time to hero up.
♪ When the bad guys are out,
All you have to do is shout now ♪
♪ Who's gonna hero up? ♪
♪ Well, they may not get along, But
they're always fighting strong now ♪
♪ Who's gonna hero up? ♪
♪ Who'll save the day?
The Super Hero Squad ♪
♪ They'll hero up again ♪
♪ Super Hero Squad! Hero up ♪
♪ Wolverine and Hulk are fierce,
Even Thanos is in tears ♪
♪ When Iron Man
Joins the fight ♪
♪ Falcon darts in from the sky,
Scarlet Witch by his side ♪
♪ Thor's hammer
Has thunder's might ♪
♪ Who'll save the day?
The Super Hero Squad ♪
♪ They'll hero up again ♪
♪ Super Hero Squad! Hero up ♪
♪ Super Hero Squad! Hero up ♪
♪ Super Hero Squad ♪
(grunts)
(sighs)
It'd be so much easier
to just let the lawn die.
Then I wouldn't have
to mow it all the time.
This is so boring.
Yes!
Saved by the mysterious blur!
(pants)
Hey, Quicksilver!
What's the rush?
I'm looking for my sister.
She's been missing for weeks.
Wanda? No, no, no. She's not
missing. She's on the Helicarrier.
- Whoa!
- (crash)
(groans)
Hang on, sis!
Yeah, you're welcome.
Dad! She's on the Helicarrier!
My daughter, the Scarlet Witch,
is on the Helicarrier?
She must have been captured
by the good guys!
Oh, the poor girl! What horrendous
ordeals she must be enduring!
(Scarlet Witch) I cannot endure
this ordeal any longer!
We are not watching
anymore shows about funny pets!
It's science research.
Verily! Thor hath taught the Hulk
to catch a Frisbee! Go long, boy!
Hulk got it!
If Falcon and Wolverine weren't
out in space on Thanos Patrol,
they'd be on my side.
(laughs) Such levity. 'Twould be
difficult, since you are standing.
Hey!
You're gonna love this show.
It's called
"Destroy, Destroy, Destroy."
(gasps)
(grunts)
All father!
Your giant holographic head
arrives just in time
to give us pause.
Oh, yes. Arise, Son of Asgard.
Father Odin? You look different.
(laughs) I hath news, Thor.
Oh, just spill it, will you?
We're married! See?
Check out this rock!
I say thee, yeesh!
Ta-ta, son!
This cannot stand!
I must hie my heinie to Asgard
and stop this madness
lest she rent out my room!
Poor Thor.
And his mother, Frigga.
How could Odin go and marry
the Enchantress of all people?
Ooh! How could he not? At least
we know his eyes are working.
Wow! And suddenly getting put
in time-out doesn't seem so bad.
Huh, I have a million of these.
Thor needs our support,
not our ridicule.
(beeps)
Can't we do both?
Wanda, you're right. We
should go with Thor and help him.
Ah, Hulk fetch! (Grunts)
Uh, where Big Hammer?
Herbie, set a course for Asgard.
But first, set the DVR
to record my show.
(beeps)
Already season passed it.
And that, my friend, is why you are
an invaluable member of this team.
Observe.
One of the advantages
of my magnetic powers:
Skitching a ride!
Yay! (Laughing) Sorry.
When I think of all the millenni
I've wasted on that gigolo!
(sobbing)
Oh, he does tend to jiggle.
There, there, Mother.
It's the same old story:
You know,
the more powerful the man,
the younger the
witch on his arm.
(sobbing)
Let me get you some more tea.
Ooh! I can't believe my luck!
This wasn't even my scheme,
but I'm going to use it
to end up ruling Asgard!
Score!
Change the drapes.
Call somebody to redo the floors
the walls, and the upholstery.
And get this icky old man
off my throne.
Whoops, he can stay.
It's just so exciting being Quee
(laughs)
Loki!
Come to pay your respects
to your new stepmother?
Not exactly, Enchantress.
- Pudding face, how about a cuddle?
- Not now!
Oh, you'll have plenty of time for
that after what I'm about to tell you.
Ever read the
Norse Saga of Rules?
There's a particularly riveting
part here about commoners.
What?
A non-royal, a plebe, a... you.
You see, when Odin married you, he
married an atrociously common commoner.
He gave up his
right to the throne!
He's no longer king,
so you're not the queen!
Hah! In your face! (Laughs)
Happy dance, happy dance.
(laughs) Watch the horns.
(humming)
Oh, yeah, baby.
This-this cannot be!
No, no, he's right, bouncy bear.
I was going to mention it,
but thy bodaciousness
held my tongue as if in a vice.
And furthermore,
since Odin's firstborn is too busy
fighting cosmic villains on Earth,
who's next in line
and the rightful King?
Let's see, um,
who could it be? Um.
Oh, yeah, it's me! (Laughs)
(vocalizes)
Father! What madness be this?
'Tis love madness, baby boy!
Forsooth! Odin hath
abdicated the throne for love!
The new King of Asgard
be-eth his firstborn son, Thor!
Uh! Who with the what now?
Long live King Thor!
Oh, no! Long live King Loki!
- (laughs) How do you like it?
- Shut up.
Hey! I may not be queen, but that's
no way to talk to your new stepmother.
Now go to your room, young man,
before I spank you!
(grimaces) You're not my
real mother! (Blows a raspberry)
You know what? Fine!
Have fun being king, Thor.
Now if you'll excuse me,
my husband and I
have to go look into
some retirement housing.
Okay, Squaddies, fan out! Find
Thor and see what's going on.
Thor, you...
Hey, that was easy. Hi, Thor.
- What that on Big Hammer?
- A crown.
An honor to meet you, Squaddies.
You've always been Ho gun's heroes.
Friends, hath I
got a story for you!
Odin unwittingly
abdicated his throne.
Thor is the new ruler of Asgard.
Oh, well, thank you. You just
stole the Thunder Prince's thunder.
What he said.
Wow, congratulations,
your ruler-ship.
That is pretty cool.
(beeps) Alert!
Thor must stay here to be king.
Buh! Big Hammer not coming home?
Alas, no, green friend.
A greater duty calls.
(all snigger)
Hammer say "Doody."
(sighs)
I said "duty" with a "T."
(chuckles) You said it again.
(sighs) Fare thee well, Herbie.
I shall miss thy girlish laugh.
Good-bye, Scarlet Witch.
I shall miss fighting over yon
television remote with thee.
Hasta la vista, Hulk.
I'm sure someday thou shalt find
where thou buried all thy action figures.
(quiet sobbing)
And I'll... Oh, there I go.
And I'll miss you
most of all, Tin Man.
- It's Iron Man.
- Don't spoil my moment.
(sobs) Hulk never see
action figures again?
Hmm, Wise King Thor.
King Thor the Wise.
MC Thory-Thor.
Huh, it's all on me now
to leadeth my people
and solveth all their
many, many problems.
- (gong sounds)
- (clears throat)
Ah, this troll's tree
overhangeth in mine property.
And its leaves droppeth
in mine swimming pool!
- (belches)
- (grimaces)
Lo! I shall use mine uru hammer
to break the tree in half.
And the pool!
(grunts)
That is what Wise King Thor
bringeth to the table!
A Hammer!
Healthcare?
Education?
Taxes?
Hah! Hammer! Hammer! Hammer!
(laughs) This is fun!
Next?
(clamoring)
Oh!
Big Hammer gone forever?
Here, Hulk, sit down on my lap.
On second thoughts, don't.
Sometimes, we have to say
good-bye to the things we love,
like when your pet goldfish
ran away.
(beeps) Alert! Goldfish went to
live at Marine World. Remember?
Huh? Why fishy want
to join military?
(chuckles)
Hulk, marine also means...
You know what, never mind.
Huh! That's silly.
- (explosion)
- Aah!
I won't allow you Squaddies
to hold my daughter prisoner!
Magneto!
(laughs) Well, well, if it isn't
the invincible Iron Man.
Now that we've come together,
I'm going to relish taking you apart.
Not if I take you apart first!
(grunts)
(grunts)
What a sad and harmless
super hero you are.
Don't bet on it.
I'm just getting started!
No, you're not. I am!
(grunts)
Can't fight. Can't move.
Like being trapped inside
an electromagnetic vice!
Correct, Iron Man. And now comes the
moment where I relish taking you apart.
(grunts)
Magneto's magnetic power,
dismantling my armor
with me inside!
(chuckles)
(screams)
Ooh, look.
Hulk find his little fishy.
(grunts)
Sorry.
- (screams)
- (grunts)
- (thud)
- (grunts)
You no hurt
Hulk's friend any more.
(grunts)
(roars)
(grunts)
(Magneto) Quicksilver! Get this
green-skinned oaf off of me now!
- Oh!
- Ooh!
(pants)
Uh-oh, Hulk dizzy.
Where air go? (Pants)
(thud)
(grunts)
(laughs, grunts)
(thud)
Daddy?
What are you doing
to my friends?
Her "friends"?
Isn't it obvious?
Wanda's been brainwashed!
It may take weeks to
reprogram her.
Pietro, keep her from hexing!
Uh! Let go of me,
you... you brother, you!
Daddy!
Odin, lift up your feet
so I can vacuum under them!
(cries out)
I've given you the best 15 minutes
of my life, minus commercial breaks,
and what do I have
to show for it?
That's it!
I'm canceling the Lutefisk!
Huh?
Somebody crossed my whammy
with a mystic shimmy!
(grunting)
(laughs) And that shimmy
would belong to yours truly.
(laughs) Enchantress and Odin
will stay stuck married for all eternity!
Now, to destroy my dear half-bro
Thor, and get that crown.
Oh, poor King Thor.
So much responsibility.
Uneasy lies the head that
wears the crown, eh, brother?
I... Wha... Uh!
What dost thou mean?
I'm not lying down.
Oh, and I can only imagine how
much you must miss your old heroic life.
(sighs)
I mean, I'm not even tired.
It's daytime.
No!
You stop playing stupid,
brother! You should not be king!
I wonder if I'm allowed
to leave for bathroom breaks?
(cackling)
(siren wailing)
(crash)
(grunts)
(thud)
(yells)
Didst thou say something?
You dumb bunny! I'm trying to
destroy you with my mystic blast!
(gasps)
Not cool, brother.
(Scarlet Witch)
Eh, you don't get it!
We're on 24-hour alert in case
Wolvie and Falc find Thanos!
And Thor's left us short-handed.
She's babbling, Father.
I say thee nay!
You're always saying "thee nay."
Naysayer!
I'm rubber and thou art paste!
Whatever thou sayeth,
bounceth off me
and sticketh to thou with haste!
So sayeth Thor.
Duh, your teeth are brighter
than you are.
Oh! You taketh that back,
you horn-helmeted toad!
Make me.
The most powerful Asgardian
of all is still my mind slave!
So I'll reclaim the throne
the old fashioned way
by destroying both King Thor
and Prince Loki!
I did not see this coming.
(Enchantress) Don't just stand
there, destroy them already!
For thee, anything,
sweet potato pie.
- (grunts)
- (groans)
By Odin's mighty mustache,
we mustn't harm a hair on
Father's poor mind-controlled head!
Mmm.
Uh-oh!
(grunts)
I'm more worried
about my own head, thank you.
Get them!
I summon the Odinforce!
(grunts)
Oh, snap.
Come on, green guy,
snap out of it. We need you!
Oil leak. (Beeps)
(grunts)
Huh? Oh.
(trills lips)
Hulk got this.
(grunts)
Whew! Thanks. I was getting
a leg cramp, and a neck cramp.
Back cramp. Shoulder cramp.
Toe cramp. Sacroiliac cramp.
Can you get a cramp
in your uvula?
(yawns)
I hope my warranty's still good.
(beeps)
Just be glad
you don't have a uvula.
Uh, hey, where pointy?
We're gonna save our teammate,
Hulk! Time to hero up!
♪ When the bad guys are out,
All you have to do os shout now ♪
♪ Who's gonna hero up? ♪
♪ Super Hero Squad! Hero up ♪
No take more
of Hulk's friends away!
Daddy! Which part of "these are
my friends" do you not understand?
Pretty much the whole thing.
(groans)
Stay thy hand, Father! Thou
shalt regretteth it in the morning.
I...
cannot.
Oh!
Dear boy.
(gasp) You-you broke my spell?
And my shimmy? Oops!
You!
Who dareth ensourcelle
the King of Asgard?
Actually, you're not the king. You
married a commoner, remember?
Them's the breaks.
- (gasps)
- I divorce thee!
- I divorce thee! I divorce thee!
- Whatever.
Father, I believe
this doth belong to you.
Now bring me my good Frigga,
who has sufferedeth long enougheth.
There, done.
Odin's no good to me as a
husband without being king.
(Frigga)
You conniving temptress!
Only now that he's not married
to you anymore, he's king again!
Huzzah!
Oh! Oh!
I just can't win.
Ah! Welcome to my world.
Oh, well. I've got three episodes
of Scandinavian Idol recorded.
Later.
- (crash)
- (all gasp)
- (Hulk growling)
- (all groaning)
Uh... (nervous chuckle)
What are you gonna do?
My friends. (Chuckles)
Daughter!
We are going home this instant!
Tough love, baby.
I'm not going anywhere
with you, Father.
How dare you use that tone of
voice with me, young lady?
As long as you're living under
my roof, you will live by my rules!
But I'm not living under your
roof. I'm a... hero.
(grimaces)
Kids today.
You try to raise them right,
you try to set an evil example,
and this is the thanks I get?
Yes, my magnetic homeboy.
We must take care
that the unbreakable bond
of a father's love
never becomes a shackle,
or a tether, or a garrote.
Uh, thou knows what I meaneth.
(stifled sob) I loveth
when Father uses big words!
(sobs)
What? Don't look at me,
I have allergies.
- I have something in my eye.
- Yes.
Make Hulk cry.
Oh, bravo, Father.
I'm touched. Not!
(blows a raspberry)
I don't want to go back
to being an evil intern, Daddy.
My home is with the Squaddies.
I'm one of them now.
If you need me,
you know where I'll be.
Indeed,
but know this,
If our paths ever cross as hero
and villain, I will not hold back!
Me neither.
Come, Quicksilver!
(both gasp)
Oh!
Could you, uh, heroes
give us a ride back to Earth?
(nervous chuckle)