The Super Hero Squad Show (2009–2011): Season 1, Episode 21 - Hexed, Vexed, and Perplexed! - full transcript

(beeping)

(scanning)

(squawks)

I don't know, Red wing.
Something's not right.

Huh?

(Hulk) Hulk hate banana cream!

(Reptil) Aw, Hulk.

I was trying to hit Falcon.

Hey, hey, that is not
what the Stark Industries

Kirby-inspired high tech missile launcher
was designed for.

Ah!



(thwap, thwap, thwap)

Ow.

(thwapping continues)

Ah!

Or that, either.

I don't mean to brag,

but I always know
when trouble is coming.

I just feel it, in my gut.

(alarm beeping)

Except that time.

Super Hero Squad,
report to the control room.

We have a red alert.

(Doom) With that Infinity Sword,
I will rule the universe.

All right, Squaddies!
Time to Hero Up!



♪ When the bad guys are out
All you have to do is shout now ♪

♪ Who's gonna Hero Up? ♪

♪ Well, they may not get along ♪

♪ But they're always fighting strong now ♪

♪ Who's gonna Hero Up? ♪

♪ Who'll save the day?
The Super Hero Squad! ♪

♪ They'll Hero Up again! ♪

♪ Super Hero Squad! Hero Up ♪

♪ Super Hero Squad! Hero Up ♪

♪ Wolverine and Hulk are fierce ♪

♪ Dr. Doom ends up in tears ♪

♪ Falcon darts in from the sky
Silver Surfer by his side ♪

♪ Falcon darts in from the sky,
Silver Surfer by his side ♪

♪ Thor's hammer has thunder's might ♪

♪ Who'll save the day?
The Super Hero Squad! ♪

♪ They'll Hero Up again! ♪

♪ Super Hero Squad! Hero Up ♪

♪ Super Hero Squad! Hero Up ♪

♪ Super Hero Squad! Hero Up ♪

♪ Super Hero Squad! ♪

I hate those Squaddies!

Dad, are we there yet?

Almost.

And I promise,
it's well worth the wait.

Now, look.

A big rock.

I thought you said
we were going to Hawaii.

This is better than Hawaii.

This is Super Hero City,

and we're breaking into the fractal vault.

- (Wanda sighs)
- (Pietro sighs)

Oh, come on.

When I was your age,
I would have been thrilled

to be attacking
a landmark like this.

(Wanda and Prieto sigh)

Hawaii.

Fine. Try not to be jealous
as I do it myself.

No, no, don't need the help
of my unappreciative offspring.

Just watch.

(alarm beeping)

Every time I make shish kebab,
there's an emergency!

Who doth summon us
in such dire, red-light-flashing need?

Ah. It was most definitely me.

I am entering the Squad in a contest.

It is the Superheroes
of the Year competition.

The winners become
the spokesmen for our city,

and get made into these.

(all) Aw.

Hulk want to be made of plush.

Every year the Fantastic Four beats us.
Now, it's our turn.

Everyone will write a paragraph
to explain why our team is the best.

We will totally win!

(all cheer)

Hulk win. Hulk win.

Hulk...

Uh, not know what paragraph.

Huh, let me guess...

- Another contest?
- What the heck?

No, this emergency is for reals.

I mean, for real.

I never know when to do that "s" thing.

Someone's trying to break into the vault
and get the fractalses.

(laughs)

Hey-o!

- Whoa!
- (chuckles)

Whoa! What's going on here?

The fractals, all mine.

(Iron Man) Wrong, Magneto.

But you know what is all yours?
A world of pain!

Yeah!

Can't control my armor.

(Wolverine) Batter up, Magneto.

What happened?

Triceratops head.

(Hulk) Hulk crashed.

Oh, I bet someone's dino-sore.

Dad, look out!

(chuckles)

Well done, son.
Now, let's practice your tactical retreat.

Uh, what?

Run away.

Red wing, no!

Whoa. What are the chances of that?

I'd say approximately
139,873,926,374 to 1,

give or take.

Ah!

(cawing)

Red wing! How did you do that?

Just lucky, I guess. I'm Wanda.

(Falcon stammers)

I'm Falcon, he's Red wing,
and we're grateful.

Hmm. Magneto got way too close
to the fractals for comfort.

We're going to have to beef up security.

Are you certain beef will help?

Hey, Wanda, you should come
visit us sometime.

Uh, it's the least we can do
after you saved Red wing.

Oh, I don't know. I'm just here
with my brother on vacation and...

And we don't let non-Squaddies
on the Helicarrier without clearance.

I'm sorry, Miss... Wanda is it?

How about I stop by tomorrow?

(cawing)

(sighs) Thanks.

I don't know why my cooling system
failed like that.

We'd better get to the Helicarrier
so I can run some tests on this armor.

- Good call.
- Verily.

(MODOK) Now, let's try this again.

(both) Rock, paper, scissors.

I win. See? Paper beats rock.

Uh-uh, fist beats paper.

Hmm. They grow up so fast, don't they?
You must be so proud.

Those are not my children.

Oh, I know how you feel.

Sometimes I wonder if my children,
Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch,

have any of my evil genius at all.

No, no, no, really, really.
They're not mine.

- We don't even look alike!
- Mmm.

Magneto, I did not summon you
to Villainville to swap baby pictures.

I wanted those fractals from the vault!

Oh, and you will have them.

A new opportunity has presented itself,

one I never even dreamed of.

Let's just say, we're keeping
this job in the family.

(evil laugh)

(cawing)

Hey, don't get any ideas.
I saw her first.

Don't do that.

(chimes)

(lowers voice) Hello.

(coughing)

I had to bring my brother.

Hey, what do you think you're do...?

Why don't you check out the game room?
We'll meet you there.

I'm in the Control Room.

(Pietro) Hurry up, Wanda.

Keep your unitard on. I'm busy.

Soda, guava nectar, yak milk...
What can I get you?

Uh-uh.

My Heimdall's hairy hindquarters,
I have not seen the like.

Yon toast landed jam-side up.

Oh! 'Tis against the laws
of both nature and breakfast.

Ooh. E-X-I-T.

Ah, Helicarrier.

This is where the Squad goes to relax.

Of course, I don't. I'm always training.

You know, sharpening my skills...

Ha! Don't let that featherweight
fool you, chica.

You shouldn't be
wasting your time with him.

Whoa, hey!

Ow! How'd you do that?

- What?
- (giggles)

It's perfectly logical

that the Super Hero Squad
should win this competition.

Ah! Hulk not understand Hulk.

Did you hear that?

Hulk actually spoke
in a complete sentence.

You know, Wanda,

whenever I'm with you,
everything just seems so...

Improbable?

Magical.

If only you knew.

Didn't I send you to the game room?

Big yawn.

What I want to see
is the control room, with my sister.

(Prieto) Come on.

Aw!

Don't think old Tinhead
would appreciate you

taking tourists
to the control room, bub.

But they're not tourists.
Wanda saved Redwing's life.

Mm. (Sniffing)

(growls)

My gut would tell me
if anything was wrong,

and the only thing I feel in my gut

is the cheeseburger
I had for breakfast. (Belch)

Mm. Something's not right here.

Could it be your nose sniffing my face?

(coughing)

(coughing)

(Falcon) Ick. Hairballs?

We'd better end the tour for today.

Uh, see you tomorrow?

What? Oh, sure. Tomorrow.

Mañana, banana.

(alarm klaxon wails)

Someone's inside the vault,
and they've disabled the security.

Whoever's stealing those fractals
stole my clearance codes first.

Good thing I had
a secret back-up alarm.

Squaddies, time to Hero Up!

♪ Who'll save the day?
The Super Hero Squad ♪

♪ They'll Hero Up again ♪

♪ Super Hero Squad! Hero up ♪

(Wanda) That's it, Dad.
No more fractals.

Magneto. Quicksilver.
Scarlet Witch.

You heathens of injustice.

You won't get away with this.
You're all in big trouble when I...

(yawns) Back to the iceberg.

(snores) Hup, hup, hup, hup.

(Magneto) Are you sure?
Remember, it's the super effort

that makes a villain into a super-villain.

Ah. We're sure.
Now, can we go to Hawaii?

Once we have our fractals,
we can go anywhere.

(evil laugh)

Come on, your turn.

(both cackle weakly)

I don't know how
you got my code, Magneto,

but I do know it ends here.

(snoring) Hup, hup, hup, hup.

Huh? Aw, more armor malfunctions?

Onward!

Oh, mercy!

Merciful mother of Odin, that smarts.

(snoring) Hup, hup, hup, hup.

Oh, mercy.

(Magneto laughs)

These fractals are more useful
than I thought.

Now, I control not only metal,
but all matter.

You're lucky. They can also
take away your powers.

Right. Lucky us.

(screaming) Hulk smash.

No, Hulk. Falcon could be hurt.

(Magneto) Oh, and I think he might.

Whoa!

- (Falcon screaming)
- Hup, hup, hup, hup.

Hmm. Money for the parking meter.
This is our lucky day.

Dad, stop.

This wasn't part of the plan.
Promise me you won't hurt him.

Sorry, dear.
A villain must adapt as he goes.

Please?

- Wanda?
- Wanda?

(snoring) Hup, hup, hup, hup.

Well, if you're going to give me
those big puppy dog eyes,

what can I do?

Uh, why not just paper-train her?

(Falcon grunts)

Did you get the fractals, Pietro?

Guess I don't need that anymore.

(Magneto laughing)

(Iron Man) What the heck?

(Magneto laughs)

Well, at least now we have lots of time

to work on our contest paragraphs.

(overlapping chatter)

(snoring) Hup, hup, hup, hup.

Hold it right there, young lady.

You're not going out
dressed like that.

But Dad, it's my costume.

Right, right.
Um, take your brother.

(Wanda) But Dad!

(cawing)

Well, of course my gut tells me
there's something wrong now.

Falcon, I'm so sorry.

Save it, Scarlet.

I can't believe
you played me like that.

I thought we were friends.

Red wing!
She's a bad guy, remember?

No, I'm not.

Look, I know there was the whole
breaking, entering, stealing thing,

but I was just helping
my dad get his stuff back.

The fractals?

Those aren't his.
He's stealing them for Doom.

What? Prove it.

Argh. I'm a little tied up
right now, Quicksilver.

Why don't you run along
and see for yourself?

(MODOK laughing)
Two for me, one for you.

Three for me, one for you.

I don't think he'd mind
if we just take one...

(both yelp)

I do hope you are not
getting too attached to my fractals.

(MODOK) Uh, this is awkward.

No, of course not,
your electrified evilness.

We were just cleaning them for you.

Yeah. Cleaning.

All better.

I'll be counting them to make sure

that Magneto doesn't think
he can pull a fast one on me.

(passes gas)

Ew. Abomination,
at least say "excuse me."

I had "pasgetti" for lunch.

He's right.

Dad's got another super villain scheme
going with Dr. Doom.

Argh. He just can't get it
through his helmet.

We don't want to go
into the family business.

I'd rather go into the world
of competitive ice skating.

Oh, that would really
chafe Dad's metal.

(both) We're in.

Ah. The prisoner has escaped.

Hello? Hello?
I'd like to report an emergency.

Yes, I'll hold.

- (Greensleeves plays)
- Oh, I love this song.

(yelps)

How'd that happen?
I don't even wear shoes.

That's why it's called
a probability hex, genius.

I get it, you make
unlikely things happen.

What a rush. We did it.

(machinery whirs)

This is when the hero thing
can get a little tricky.

There's got to be a water pipe
around here somewhere.

Whoa, whoa, hold on.

How did you know this place
had a sprinkler system?

It's standard villain lair code.

You pick up a few things.

Hey, hey, hello?

Will you quit staring
at each other? Yuck.

Almost forgot to return this last fractal.

A villain's pride is a job well done.

Silence, traitor!
I know what you are up to.

Give me back my fractals.

I didn't take them.

Then who?

(Falcon) That would be me.

Sorry I can't stay
to tell you the story.

Check the message boards.

Stop! Stop!

(sighs) What's this?

(Dr. Doom screaming)

(grumbles)

Oh. Okay, I think I'm ready
for Hawaii now.

(yowls)

Hello.

This is a disaster.

We have to alert S.H.I.E.L.D

(Falcon) And we have to alert you.

Falcon, look out.
She is working for Doom.

No. It was a misunderstanding.

Oh, you mean your vaunted gut
was wrong? Ha.

I believeth it not.

The fractals are in the back, safe,
plus all of Doom's.

The only bad news...

The city has chosen
its Superheroes of the Year.

Uh... Hulk never finish paragraph.

(chuckles)

(Hulk) Huh? Okay.

Huh? I could have sworn
the Fantastic Four won.

(giggles) You know, you make
a pretty great hero.

Just something to think about.

Hm, it was fun.
But I'd better get going.

My brother's waiting at the skating rink.

Wait. Will I ever see you again?

Stranger things have happened.

(theme music playing)