The Super Hero Squad Show (2009–2011): Season 1, Episode 2 - To Err Is Superhuman! - full transcript

Reptil joins the Super Hero Squad and Wolverine is assigned to be his mentor. He immediately gets to prove his worth as the Squad races to stop Doom and the Wrecking Crew obtaining a hidden fractal.

(theme music playing)

Well, there she is,
young Reptile.

It's Rep-teeeel,
Captain America.

Whoa!

Uh... I mean... uh.

It's okay.
Not like I'm impressed or anything.

Ah, this brings me back.

The first time
I saw the Shield Helicarrier,

oh, it took my breath away.

- (rumbling)
- Whoa! A little turbulence.

- Uh... whoa, whoa.
- Whoa!



I've got it! There we are!

- Steady. Steady.
- Whoa.

(Reptil screaming)

- (Captain America) Yeah.
- (Reptil gagging) Oh.

(Reptil)
Whoa! Mmhp!

(Reptil shuddering) Ohhh!

Ha! Huh!

(Reptil throwing up)

Uhh! Oh.

Whoa! Oh.

Hey, youngster,
that not your usual color, is it?

I'll show you to your quarters.
Come on.

Hup! Hup! Hup! Hup!
Come on! Walk it off!

Uh.



Well, what do you think,
young Reptile, eh?

Nice! But, uh...

I like my room a little more...
lived in.

Raptor claws!

(growling)

(Reptile grunting, laughing)

Uh. Ooh-ah. Hah. Ah.

Hulk like lobster.

Lobster has style.

You can't afford lobster
on a Super Hero's salary, Hulk.

Besides, that's no lobster.

Señor Reptile here
has an irradiated fossil,

which allows him to transform parts of his
body into those of long-extinct dinosaurs.

Are you getting any of this?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Lobster friend! Ooh!

Uh, Hulk!

Aargh! Oh.

Yeah.

Cap, your rookies
are getting greener every day.

Hey. Hulk green.

What I mean, spinach for brains,
is he's just a kid.

Takes a lot more than a super power
to do this job.

- It takes guts.
- Hawkeye?

You're in the Super Hero Squad?

Ms. Marvel sent me
here as a Shield observer.

Let me tell you something, Mr. Eye.

We Shield agents are here
to defend the home front.

And, mister, that's just where
this super soldier wants to be.

- (phone ringing)
- Hmm?

- (Hulk roaring)
- (phone ringing)

That's just the phone, Hulk.

If it's President Roosevelt,
tell him I'm not here.

Go ahead, answer it!

(phone ringing)

- Uh... r-r-ring.
- (phone ringing)

- R-r-r-ring!
- (phone ringing)

Hulk, I believe Captain America
is suggesting

you answer the phone with... words.

What phone want?

- (phone ringing)
- Uhh! Phone loud!

But Hulk louder!

Hulk loudest there is!

(roaring) R-r-r-ring!

(rumbling)

See, Hawkeye? We Super Squaddies
balance each other out.

I may not be
as powerful as the Hulk...

(Hulk growling)

...but I have a little more
brain power.

Whoa!

Ooh! Ow! Oh! Ooh! Ooh!

Ah! Aah! Aaaahhh!

Whoa!

Oh! Aahh!

(Doctor Doom) With that Infinity Sword,
I will rule the Universe!

All right, Squaddies!
Time to Hero Up!

♪ When the bad guys are out
all you have to do is shout now ♪

♪ Who's gonna Hero Up? ♪

♪ Well, they may not get along
but they're always fighting strong now ♪

♪ Who's gonna Hero Up? ♪

♪ Who'll save the day?
The Super Hero Squad ♪

♪ They'll Hero Up again ♪

♪ Super Hero Squad! Hero Up ♪
♪ Super Hero Squad! Hero Up ♪

♪ Wolverine and Hulk are fierce
Doctor Doom ends up in tears ♪

♪ When Iron Man joins the fight ♪

♪ Falcon darts in from the sky
Silver Surfer by his side ♪

♪ Thor's hammer
has thunder's might ♪

♪ Who'll save the day? ♪

♪ The Super Hero Squad ♪

♪ They'll Hero Up again ♪

♪ Super Hero Squad! Hero Up ♪

♪ Super Hero Squad! Hero Up ♪

♪ Super Hero Squad ♪

I hate those Squaddies.

Whoa! Uhh! Oop.

Pull it together, Reptil.
You got powers, remember?

Pterodactyl wings!
Yeah!

Oh! Oh, man.
So glad that worked.

Yee-haw! Ha ha!

Is that what humans mean
by an extreme sport?

Reptil, Iron Man
is requesting your presence.

Whoa!

(laughing) I meant to do that.

Reptil, glad you could join us.

Hey, remember that time you accidentally
threw yourself out two minutes ago?

(laughing) Good times.

(laughing) That was funny.

Do it again, lobster!
Again! Again!

- (laughing)
- Hulk! Hulk! Put me down!

Aw, man!

Hey, take a look at this!

Ah! That's the old
Water and Power building.

The W.P.B. Don't you remember when they
first built it during the depression?

Those were the days.
Hot jazz and skinny eyebrows.

Uh-huh. See this
irregularly shaped hole?

Could be a fractal
that buried itself on impact.

We'd better get to it before Doctor Doom
and his Doom-generates do.

Yes, but before we go,
I need to assign Reptil his mentor.

- My mentor?
- He's very excited to meet you.

Oh! Can it be me? Please!

Aaahh!

No, no, no!

(laughing) Wolverine,
you hairy-armed rapscallion.

Always joshing.

(growling) Does it look like
I can change diapers with these?

(laughing) Dia...
He knows you wear big boy pants.

It's in your file.

I don't need a babysitter, Cap.

Doctor Doom shows up
while we're grabbing this fractal,

I'll go triceratops on him.
Muy rapido!

Your job ain't to kick butt.

It's to obey orders.
Got that, Rep-twirp?

Rep-teel.

At ease, Squaddies.

Uh, I knew you two would
get along like Yanks and tanks!

- Carry on.
- Hey! Wait a minute!

(door opening)

(beeping)

Come on. Hold still.

Super Hero Megaslam!

You dare befoul
Doom's spying equipment

by playing a child's video game?

You're not even
playing it right!

Here, let me show you
how it's done.

- No, it's still my turn!
- This joystick shall be mine!

(beeping)

(beeping)

Feel my controller
controlling powers!

(laughing)

- (gasping)
- Oh.

Look at what you did!

Uhh.

Ooh. Hey, look.

I found the Super Hero Squad.

(laughing)

What are they doing
at the Water and Power building?

Uh, paying their Super Power bill?

Uh! Want to... hit you,
but... arms... too... short!

- (toilet flushing)
- Who dares to disturb Doom?

(cat screeching)

(crying out in pain)

(laughing)

Ah, finally, my foolhardy foes
have found a fractal.

Uh, fascinating.

Hey, that's pretty good.
Try this one.

Mr. Sinister sold six stacks
of silk slacks to Silver Surfer!

Mr. Sinister sold si...

Stop wasting our
brilliant leader's time

when he is about to order an attack!

(sighing)

(shouting painfully)

I saw that one comin'.
(chortles)

Modok got a boo-boo.
(laughs)

Aw, do we have to?

They're all dirty.
I don't wanna!

Aah! Don't blast me!

Good point.
With a bit of guile,

those Super Simpletons
will do our dirty work for us.

Clearly, O Doom,
our great minds think as one.

Abomination is merely repeating my words,
which he doesn't understand.

(crying in pain)

I didn't see that coming.

No one knows Doom's mind!

And nothing
can be hidden from Doom.

You owe me a controller...

No, two controllers.

(laughing)

(coughing and wheezing)

Lo, though Mjolnir
is mighty indeed,

as a shovel,
it supremely sucketh eggs.

Right tool for the right job,
I always say.

(sighing) Unfortunately.

Ahhh!

Eureka!

Yes, and you reek of machine oil.
What about it?

What? Hand me the magnetic jar.

(Reptil) Hmmm.

Somethin' you wanna share,
Rat Tail?

I joined the Squad
to incarcerate dirty villains,

not to excavate dirty dirt. I mean...

Unhh! This stinks.

Indeed, 'tis not the most glorious of
tasks, but what are you gonna do?

No, no, no, no.
It really stinks.

Even worse than before.
Pee-yoo! That's a crime.

(sniffing) That ain't just a crime, bub.
It's an Abomination!

(growling)

- Scared?
- Zoinks!

Abomination!

Get thee hence, vile dog!

I'll show you who's a dog.

(grunting)

(roaring)

(laughing)

(laughing)

♪ Na na-na na-na ♪

Ohh!

No way are you
getting away with that!

Back it up, Reptil!
Do not pursue!

Velociraptor legs!

Ha! Now I get to show 'em
I'm a self-starter, not a ditch digger!

Aah! Aahhh.

- Huh?
- Hiya, kid.

I'm the Wrecker.

This here is my Wrecking Crew.

(nervously laughs)

We usually concentrate
on wrecking stuff,

but for you, we made an exception
and built something.

(laughing) Right, Thunderball?

Yeah, Wrecker. A trap.

Which is probably why Iron Man told me
not to follow you.

I was using my strag-ety...
from my brain...

in my head.

Too bad only the most gullible chump
fell for it.

Oh, well. We'll take turns.

- You first, Piledriver.
- Yeah.

- Stegosaurus armor!
- Ahh!

(screaming and sobbing)

Nice move, kid.

You might've had a shot
against one of us. Bulldozer?

Yeah. You got it, boss.

Triceratops horn!

(screaming in pain)

(yelling and laughing)

All over now, pipsqueak.

- It is four against one.
- Oh.

Aahh!

Hulk don't do math! Hulk smash!

The Super Hero Squad?

And we weren't even wearing
"Hello my name is" stickers!

And, once again,
I did not get the memo.

Glad you could
join our little party.

It is gonna be a gas!

- (coughing)
- Gas!

Hey, wasn't me. Uh, this time.

Here, he's mine, mine, mine!
I smell a bonus!

Uh, thanks for doin' our work for us...
Heroes!

(laughing)

Uh! Brachiosaurus tail!

(grunting)

The fractal!

(groaning)

Me thinketh this stinketh.

Mighty wind, bloweth!
Knockout gas, goeth!

(nervously laughing)
Wow, is that the time?

Gotta go. Got this date.

(Abomination roaring)

Well, at least Doom didn't get
that fractal, thanks to Reptil.

Yeah, but neither did we,
thanks to me.

Well, now it looks like
we got two messes to clean up.

Yeah. Outstanding.

My Stark Industries Probabilit-E-valuator
is working like a dream!

The Proba-whatzin-whozit?

That fractal was swept
into the city's water system.

This machine calculates
where it's most likely to show up.

These two blips are the most
probable locations.

I'll take Falcon and Hawkeye
if Shield can spare you.

Surfer, you, Thor, and Hulk
take the other one.

Okay, well what's this one?

A less-probable location.
An Ice Rink.

Perfect. Me and the kid'll
check that one out.

Uh, no, no. Don't you need a...

a Squaddie here
minding the store?

I think the Squirt is tuckered out
from the fight, Tony.

(baby-talking) Does the baby
need a little nap?

(laughing)

Well, he doesn't need
some chatty archer teasin' him.

Come on, let's Hero Up.

♪ Super Hero Squad! Hero Up ♪

♪ When the bad guys are out,
all you have to do is shout now ♪

♪ Who's gonna Hero Up? ♪

♪ Who'll save the day? ♪

♪ The Super Hero Squad ♪

♪ They'll Hero Up again ♪

♪ Super Hero Squad! Hero Up ♪

Look, kid. You're not
the first hero to be afraid.

- Who says I'm...
- I can smell it.

(sniffing)

But you can't
hide in here forever.

You wanted to be a hero.
Then you gotta...

you know, Hero Up.

(door closing)

(machinery humming)

Holy guacamole.

I can't believe it.
Not only do I walk into a trap

and practically hand Doom a fractal,

but I'm too chicken to go back for more.

Some hero I am.

Aah! Stupid state-of-the-art
bolted-down trash can!

(Wolverine) Helicarrier!
I got trouble with a capital "T"!

Wolverine, go ahead.

Is anybody there?
Can you read me?

- Aw, for cryin' out loud.
- Wolverine, I-I said...

I'm outnumbered! Send backup!
You got that? Send...

Ah, Hulk.

Iron Man! Cap! Come in!
Wolverine needs help!

Oh, man.
Nobody knows he's in trouble.

Except... me.

What do I do? What do I do?
What do I do?

- (yawning)
- Hulk! Thank goodness.

- What are you doing back here?
- Hulk forgot to put lid down.

Listen carefully.
Wolverine's in terrible danger,

and I can't contact the rest
of the Squad. Understand?

Bleh. Claw in trouble?

(roaring)

- (grunting)
- Hulk!

(roaring)

But I haven't told you
where he is!

(sighing) I don't have a choice.

I gotta Hero Up!

Pterodactyl wings!

Where is Hulk?

I'm not down there.

Hmm. I'm not down there...

- (honking)
- Hmm.

- Ah!
- Hop in!

Now, did you get the fractal or not?

Like I told you, I came here
'cause I thought it was hockey night.

- (crash)
- (Reptil grunts)

Allosaurus tail!

(all groaning)

Told ya. Just have
to face down that fear.

Well, it didn't work.
I'm still scared.

I got news for you, Junior.

- I'm scared, too.
- Raptor claws!

So's Shell head,
Falcon, and the rest.

Maybe not the Surfer.
He's a little woo-woo.

(grunting)

You're scared?

Scared of what'll happen
if Doom gets those fractals.

But we keep fighting.

That's what makes us heroes.
Capiche?

Then we better find it first, huh?
Tyrannosaurus eyes!

I get it.
Big predator, great eyesight.

Good call, kid.

Right there! Under the ice!

- (grunting)
- Velociraptor legs!

Uhhh! Ahhh!

Uhhh!

Oh! Ah, I got it!

- (grunting)
- Hands off!

These things got some seriously
unstable juju.

You never know what they'll do.

Okay! Let's rock and roll.

What's happening to me?

Ah! Gotta go!

(grunting)

(everybody groaning)

(Together) Uh? Huh? Uh?

(laughing)

Aah! Go!
Let's go! Let's go! Let's go!

Let's go! Let's go! Let's go!

Back at ya! That's right.
Reptil for the save.

- (laughing)
- Don't get cocky, kid.

Doom tends to have
a fallback plan.

(sniffing) Ah, speakin' of the devil.

That fractal is mine!

Oh, yeah? There's only
one of you and two of us!

Doombots.

I thought I smelled
Robot grease.

(upbeat music playing)

No fractal here.

Maybe the others
are having better luck.

Ahhh! (Grunts)

Oh, for crying out loud!
You can't throw a cow in this town

without hitting a Super Hero.

You do, and you'll be
arrested by a Super Hero, tiny.

Oh, don't just stand there.
Wreck 'em!

(growling) I'll get 'em.

By Baldur's manly earlobes!

Our blip was naught but naught!

Look! A group of construction workers

seem to be playing with our teammates!
Fun!

- (grunting)
- (laughing)

Hey, Thunderwimp,
aren't you missing something?

- Like your ball?
- Uhh! Uhh!

Don't worry. There'll be a nice cold
boo-boo buddy on your head...

while we interrogate you.

I'm afraid not, Archer,

for I have need of them.

You see, I'm doing a little remodeling,
and, as evil as I am...

even I recycle.

Gone! And they didn't
leave behind a single clue!

Okay, all we have to do
is keep this fractal

from falling into the hands
of all those Doombots.

Uh... without touching it.

Any ideas?

As a matter of fact, yes.

Stegosaurus plates! On my feet!

Another good call, kid.

(evil laugh)

(growling)

Huh? 'Bout time we show 'em
some unnecessary roughness.

(grunting)

Wolverine!

Ain't one of Shell head's
fancy containers, but...

it'll do.

(cheering and laughing)

Way to go, guys.

What do you know?

Baby boy did all right.

What'd you expect?

They never stood a chance...
against two heroes.

- You done good, Reptil.
- Oh. Ha.

Like I said before...
I have a little more brain pow...

W-W-Whoa!

Whoa!

It is your turn to go get him.

Uhh! Hulk home!

- Iron Man? Lobster!
- (phone ringing)

Urgh! Phone and phone!
Hulk sick of you!

(grunting)

(Hulk roaring) R-r-r-ring!

R-r-r-ring!

R-r-r-r-r-ring!