The Super Hero Squad Show (2009–2011): Season 1, Episode 19 - Mysterious Mayhem at Mutant High! - full transcript

Captain America sends Wolverine back to Xavier Academy to get his diploma and finish his remaining credits. Reptil tags along to see what Xavier Academy is like. To make matters worse, Ringmaster shows up and hypnotizes the entire X-Men team.

(Mayor) Hi, heroes.
What brings you down to City Hall?

I got a parking ticket.

At ease, Wolverine.

Mr. Mayor, we want to wish you luck
on your reelection campaign.

Oh, thanks.

Without superheroes like you,

Super Hero City
would need a new name.

Roger that.

That's the kind of keen insight
that makes you a great mayor, Mayor.

No, I really mean it.

But the election should be easy enough.
Nobody else wants the job.



Can't understand why, though.

Maybe because of all this paperwork?

Oh, these are just
Wolverine's parking tickets.

What?

Sorry, Mr. Mayor.

Wolverine will pay those tickets.

Yeah... What?

Now, I need to charge
an extra paperwork fee.

I know you'll do what's fair, Your Honor.

I can't think of anybody
who'd do a better job.

(door opens)

(man) You need to get out more,
Ms. Marvel.

Egghead!

(Mayor) You ovoid outlaw.



What brings you here to darken our door?

- Oh, please.
- (beep)

I'm not here as part
of some diabolical scheme.

I'm here because you need me...

- (faint whining)
- What's that buzzing?

(Egghead)
To lead Super Hero City

to a new era of greatness...

Doesn't anybody else hear that?

I don't hear anything.

- Do you hear anything?
- I don't know.

(grunts)

I'm here to help every mutated,
enhanced or irradiated citizen

reach their full potential.

I, Egghead, announce my candidacy

for mayor of Super Hero City.

Your bulbous brain
is scrambled, Eggy.

Nobody's going to believe that...

That there's a better man for the job.

You've got our support, 110%.

Yeah... What?

You can't... I mean...

Huh? Oh, man,
this has got to be a bad yolk.

(laughs)

(Doom) With that Infinity Sword,
I will rule the universe.

All right, Squaddies!
Time to Hero Up!

♪ When the bad guys are out
All you have to do is shout now ♪

♪ Who's gonna Hero Up? ♪

♪ Well, they may not get along ♪

♪ But they're always fighting strong now ♪

♪ Who's gonna Hero Up? ♪

♪ Who'll save the day?
The Super Hero Squad! ♪

♪ They'll Hero Up again! ♪

♪ Super Hero Squad! Hero Up ♪

♪ Super Hero Squad! Hero Up ♪

♪ Wolverine and Hulk are fierce ♪

♪ Dr. Doom ends up in tears ♪

♪ When Iron Man joins the fight ♪

♪ Falcon darts in from the sky
Silver Surfer by his side ♪

♪ Thor's hammer has thunder's might ♪

♪ Who'll save the day?
The Super Hero Squad! ♪

♪ They'll Hero Up again! ♪

♪ Super Hero Squad! Hero Up ♪

♪ Super Hero Squad! Hero Up ♪

♪ Super Hero Squad! Hero Up ♪

♪ Super Hero Squad! ♪

I hate those Squaddies!

(Egghead chortles)

I can't believe how easy it went.

This technology gives me
a triple dose of super charisma.

It makes them like me, really like me.

Oh, charisma my green cape.

Oh, high school would have been
a lot different with this.

Ha! Take that, Suzie Benedict.

Sorry, Gail Florentine.

You use, Leanne Foo-Young.

By graduation, I'd have been
halfway to world domination.

Yes.

It's nice to be liked.

(whines)

You like me, don't you, Dr. Doom?

You'll do anything I want...

Even give up your throne.

Don't.

Sorry, sorry. Sorry, Doctor.

Try it again,
and I will poach you to atoms.

Y-Yes, sir.

We'll blanket the city with commercials,

to extend your charisma control
over the entire city.

No citizen will be able
to resist voting for you.

Once you are mayor,

you will have the legal power

to tear down the city

until you find every fractal,

and bring them to me.

Tear down?

Maybe I could have a little time

to take the reins of power
out for a test drive...

Maybe appoint villains
to keep positions in the city.

(Egghead) Okay, okay!

Wreck everything, yes.
Find the fractals.

(Egghead yowls)

(Captain America)
Your votes used to go to the Mayor,

but Egghead is now the new player.

His ideas, you'll find,
are just the right kind.

(both) He's the answer
to all of your prayers.

Syncopation, baby.

Uh, Hulk don't understand.

Whoa, tough crowd.

Think we can turn this cynical
voting public around, Ms. M?

Sure. Just like Egghead,
we'll keep our sunny side up.

(Ms. Marvel laughs)

Hulk don't want new mayor.

Hulk want new shirt
and shoes, and kitty!

(Iron Man) Tell it to Santa Claus, Hulk.

Something's fishy
with Cap and Ms. Marvel.

Santa? Hulk been really good.

Huh. Man.

Got to be some sort of mind control.

Huh. I'm checking for hypno-rays,
mental interference,

brain radiation, witch doctors...

They're all coming up clean.

Could it be they actually like the guy?

Maybe that bald look is working for him.

He's come to our heroed-up city

to wipe out the nitty and gritty.

So hold onto your pants
and give Egghead a chance.

(both) You'll find him
quite charming and witty.

- (both laugh)
- (groans)

Hello, citizens.
It's a pleasure to speak to you today.

Villain on-board. Get Egghead.

(Hulk) Get big head!

Hulk smash.

- Yuck.
- Dude.

Stand down, heroes.

I granted Egghead
a security clearance,

so he could share
his wonderful ideas with you.

Whack me with your shield?
That was your first move? Really?

Please, let the man speak,
in the name of democracy.

(sighs)

All right, let's give
the criminal mastermind one minute.

(all groan)

- Then we get him.
- (all cheer)

Um, very generous of you, Iron Man.

I'll just need a moment to say

this is the greatest city on Earth.

Thanks to you heroes,
it's healthy, clean and safe.

Hard-working heroes
should be rewarded

for routinely risking their lives,

day in and day out.

I'm talking plaques...

Ways the city can show its appreciation.

Tax deductions for armor polish.

Discounts for costume repair
and hair care products.

Ah, sweet!

Um...

Eh, uh. Oh?

And ice cream.
Lots and lots of ice cream.

Egg man for mayor.

Ready? Okay.

(all except Wolverine)
Egghead for mayor!

Egghead for mayor!
Egghead for mayor!

(evil laughter)

Hi, Egghead here. Look at this.

Can your current mayor help
when things get sticky?

No.

Are you getting this, camera guy?

Look at this.

He falls right apart.

Underneath,
it's going to mildew and stink,

just like the city government.

You want the stain of corruption gone?

I'll clean up the mess

and leave you with the fresh,
breezy scent of democracy.

Agh! Does your TV always make
that weird sound?

Beats me, effendi.
I was born tone-deaf.

We can't all have
super-sensitive hearing.

What? Huh? You say something?

(sighs) Egghead has commercials
on every channel,

and I can't even afford to make one.

Well then, maybe you got to concentrate
on meeting the people in person.

Do I have to?
Everybody shakes hands so hard.

And the baby kissing...

Those little monsters
are huge germ factories.

And I don't think half of them
have even had their shots.

No, no. You know,
I'm going to just sit here

and do my job the best I can.

Thank you, Super Hero City,

for this wonderful victory.

Perhaps I misplaced my trust.

Now, welcome your new
public safety commissioner

and chief of police.

- (both laughing)
- Thanks.

Whoa!

They'll just be enforcing
a few new regulations.

Little changes. Miniscule.

You'll hardly notice them at all.

Bad news for you, villains.

Looks like you're outnumbered.

Feel the stars and stripes.

Did anyone get the number
of that shield? Ow!

Carry on.

(MODOK) I'm afraid
that's going to be a littering violation.

Litter? What litter?

- Them.
- But they aren't...

You need to go downtown
to pay the fine, or go to jail.

Please, I am no law-breaker.

Yeah, tell it to the judge.
Too bad. March along.

Hop, hop, hop.

(chuckles)

You're too slow, Melter.

- (laughs)
- (MODOK) Pay the fine, or go to jail.

- Your choice.
- What?

Disturbing the peace.

You punks with your 5,000-watt boot jets

and your hydraulics and switches.

No respect for the law.

(laughs) Loser.

(screams)

Ow!

You was on fire.

City code 977-G, section F.

The fire code.

Clear violation thereof.

Sorry to put you out. (Cackles)

He said put out.
Toodles, Torchie.

I don't know, Wolvie.
This looks awfully spooky.

Look, you're the only other guy
not dancing to Egghead's tune.

But we got to get you a power boost

so you can back me up.

Let's see if Dr. Strange can hook you up
with something magical.

I'm like to help you out
with your second career, Mr. May...

Uh, I mean...
Sorry, what do I call you now?

Just Mr. Citizen, I guess.

The truly powerful tools of sorcery
require years of study.

Well, let me see.

Oh!

Ooh, my TV magic cards
from Marshall Brodine.

Not much here I...

No, no, no.

What's this doing here?

I have these magical
musical shoes.

Yo, smack me, daddy.

I feel trendy... And musical, too.

No more MP3 player for me.

What do they do?

What do they... Well, just that.

Wow. Terrifying.

Oh, an invisibility cloak.

You know, I didn't see that one.

Yeah.

Little short, ain't it?

Hmm, I could arrange for you
to be bitten by a werewolf.

If you survive, you'd have
wolf powers once a month,

and free rabies shots.

Thanks, but no thanks, Doc.

But I seem to remember
there was a guy who got incredible powers

from being bitten by a radioactive bug.

Oh, come on. You made that up.

(Captain America) Not to worry, men.

We need to have faith
in our American system of justice.

I'll sort this out as soon
as Hulk arrives with my bail.

Hulk make mess.

Hulk not a public menace.

Hulk have boyish good looks.

(MODOK) How about zip it?

(Iron Man) Well, I got fined
for disturbing the peace,

toxic repulsor fumes
and unlicensed use of a fusion reactor,

but Mayor Egghead
will make the city safer,

and raise property values.

I'll finally be able to unload
that mansion on the east side.

Peachy. Oy.

And I'm going to unload my lunch.

All right, Mr. May...

Guy... person... hmm?

(Mayor) Why don't we go
with Mr. Ex-Mayor?

This early prototype armor
is a little clunky.

In its previous life,
it was a washer-dryer combination.

Are you comfortable?

(Iron Man) Hey, there he is.

It's a little roomy.

Now, you've got
some serious firepower.

Oh, what are these buttons I'm feeling?

Whatever you do,
don't touch those until I... Okay.

Whoa!

(Wolverine) Stop pushing the buttons!

I'm warning you,
you're risking a ticket.

And stay away from my mansion.

(Egghead) Why does everything
have to be signed in triplicate?

I'm just naming a building after me.

Finally.

Watch it, you big Egg McNothing.

Welcome, citizens,

to the dedication
of the Egghead Towers.

(applause)

Future generations will know
how much you loved me,

every time they see
this magnificent edifice.

(Mayor) We're going to hit.
I'll push more buttons.

Uh-oh, that's not good.

Maybe I'll push this one.

(Wolverine) Stop pushing buttons!

Bring them down.

I'll get reinforcements.

Heroes, this is an emergency.

The former mayor has gone mad.

He and Wolverine
are attacking the city.

Bring them in,
by any means necessary.

Yeah, baby!
I think I'm getting the hang of it.

You got any barf bags in that thing?

Well, that wasn't very nice.

I am so happy to be on solid ground.

And we're happy
that you're an easier target.

Catch.

Oh, that's a big ouch.

Go ahead and finish them off.

(all groan)

(MODOK) Now look what you did!

I should...

Ah!

Permission to speak freely, Mayor Head.

The ex-mayor never seemed violent.

Maybe we can just talk to him.

There's no time for jibber-jabber.

They've gone renegade.
Bring them down.

Sir, yes, sir!
No jibber-jabber, sir.

(Wolverine) Wait a minute.
It's his music that's controlling them.

You want to be scrambled or fried?

Hey, that was a gift from my mother.

Well, that puts an end
to the mind control of the heroes.

We're not under
mind control, are we, Eggy?

Yeah, we just genuinely like the guy.

(Captain America) Wolverine, it's best
if you come along peaceably.

Not so fast.
The invincible ex-mayor is here,

and I brought transistor-powered
punch for everybody.

Somebody spiked the punch.

Carry on, heroes.

I'm getting out of here.

Okay, so maybe
it wasn't the music,

but that rotten egg's
definitely up to something.

Be nice to egg man.

Him swell guy.

Give Hulk ice cream.

(Egghead)
My name on one lousy building.

Was that asking too much?

Why are you wasting time
with it at all?

Dr. Doom.

What brings your head here today?

I want an update
on the search for my fractals.

Oh, the fractals.

Well, I haven't actually started to...

What, what, what?

Just how are you wasting your time?

I want those fractals, now!

Now? Now?

You think it's easy?

It takes 8616 crossover forms,

filled in quadruplicate,
to start a search committee,

and a dozen more
just to order snacks

for their first meeting.

Let me simplify things for you.

I have the Lethal Legion
waiting outside the great wall.

You will open the locks of the gate,

and they will smash the city
to the ground.

Yes, sir.

But there's a form for every lock.

Here. Here's a pen.

(groans)

(Egghead) That's one.

(wails) I'm getting finger blisters.

Egghead's controlling the locks.

I'll get him, but you have to stop
the gate from opening at any cost.

No problem, Wolvie.

Whoa, Momma.

Fling.

Ow! Again with the shield?

(chuckles)

I expected you to have
a little more respect for authority.

(gasps)

Yellow hair trying to hurt Hulk?

Hulk, you're supposed to grab him.

Where'd he go?

Knit one, pearl two.

Not the green wire,
the red wire, you...

Oh, pretty shoes.

Hey.

There, that's the last lock.

Now, I'd better get back to the wall
to keep the heroes in line.

Right, because otherwise,
your control wears off.

It wasn't the music, it was your voice.

And I can take care of that.

(gasps)

Guess my super-sensitive hearing
kept it from working on me.

Well, Mr. Sensitive,
let's try a little volume.

(high-pitched whine)

(Wolverine yells)

I can keep this up
until your head explodes.

(high-pitched whine stops)

Casual Friday. No ties allowed.

I give them ten minutes,
and then I'm going home.

I'm missing my stories.

Yipe, only one more lock.

I hope this works,
or they'll be calling me the ex-ex-mayor.

For Super Hero City!

It's the Mayor.

(Ms. Marvel) He sacrificed himself
to stop the gate from opening,

to save the city.

(sobbing)

Hulk crying 'cause
Hulk think Mayor's dead.

He was the greatest
hero of us all.

(Mayor) Well, not the greatest,

but I did try my best.

For Super Hero City!

(all cheer)

Sheesh, good thing I didn't have
that armor suit custom-tailored.

(all cheer)

(Hulk) You still have
ice cream for Hulk, please?

(Mayor) Sorry, true believers.

Egghead filed all the right forms
for those crazy regulations.

I'm going to need help
filling out new ones

to get rid of them.

Come on, it'll be fun.

I'll let you play with my stapler.

Paperwork?
Why, that's un-American.

Yeah. Why'd we vote for this guy?

Come on, bubs.

The mayor's got a lot of responsibility.

And with great responsibility
comes great power.

And vice versa.

(theme music playing)