The Spectacular Spider-Man (2008–2009): Season 1, Episode 6 - The Invisible Hand - full transcript

It's not that kind of suit, Mr. O'Hirn.

You will never be able to remove it.

- But it's tough, right, doc?
-Indeed.

But your skin
will fuse to the armor.

A thick, titanium resin armor.

A permanent change.

Is it me, or is your boy
trying to talk my boy out of this?

Look, O'Hirn. You'll be tough.

Tough enough to bring down
you-know-who.

Then what's the holdup?

Let it finish, Otto.



You owe me a success.

No more flukes like the Sandman.

I need super-mercenaries
I can mass-produce.

No matter how many thugs
we have to go through.

Or how many doctors.

What's with the jungle look?

The animal kingdom
offers many useful ideas.

That armor is a part of him now,
a thick, impenetrable hide.

The extras up top there
provide offensive capabilities...

...making him unstoppable.

The good doctor has his quirks,
but this approaches competence.

Your Mr. Lincoln will be pleased.

Ixnay, we don't ever use the L word.

- Call him the Big Man.
- What's going on?



- Mind your own business, O'Hirn.
- Right. My business.

Better get to it, then.

Because the Rhino
don't wanna keep Spider-Man waiting.

Hit it, go.

- Help, police.
- Must be 2000 in here. Score.

Yeah, and Spidey's too busy
popping big bads to worry about us.

Say my name,
and I magically appear.

Okay, you should
fasten your seatbelt.

- And you should pull over.
- Right, okay, yeah.

No way.

Surf's up.

So guess it's fall formal time
in Midtown.

- Pete ask you yet?
- Pete says he isn't going.

Tell you what. Let me be your date.

I'll even dance.

You don't have to dance.

Plus, if you say yes,
I promise to stop asking.

Parker. I pay you
for front-page material.

This stuff belongs
back with the funnies.

So you don't want them?

Not the point. Here's the point.
Quit harassing my secretary...

...and get me a Page 1
web-head blowout.

Trust me, Mr. Jameson, when
Spidey goes into action, I'll be there.

Listen, you insufferable whelp.
When your publisher--

You! Benny!
I said corned beef, not pastrami.

- What? You wanna give me gas?
- You're only four years older.

When you're 70 and I'm 66,
I'll seem quite the catch.

- All right, I'll think about it.
- That's great.

- You won't regret it.
- It's just a maybe.

I'm wearing her down.

Goodness, what's this?

It's a great day.

For starters, I sold more pics.

Here's 90 percent to pay the bills.

And 10 percent
for my new-camera fund.

And that's not even the best news.

I'm going to the formal,
Aunt May. I got a date.

Almost for sure.

That's wonderful, Peter.

I had hoped
you'd change your mind.

So I took in your uncle's tuxedo
to save you money on a rental.

The corsage and car service
will be expensive enough.

Car service?

This'll barely pay for the corsage.

What am I gonna do?
I can't ask Betty to take the bus.

Betty? Who's Betty?

Miss Brant.
I'm May Parker, Peter's aunt.

Might I buy you a cup of coffee?

Well, it's official.

I'm going to the fall formal
with Glory Grant.

I can top that, I'm almost definitely
going with Betty Brant.

Hey, Grant, Brant. Our girls rhyme.

Puny Parker's got a date? Right.

You wouldn't know her, Flash.
She's 20 years old and hot.

Come on, at least tell a good lie.
Bet you show up without any date.

- Or you don't show up at all.
- I'll take that bet.

Loser dresses as a cheerleader
for Halloween.

You're on.

Oh, look, my girl's texting me now.

Having coffee with Aunt May.

How old did you say your girl was?

I gotta go.

No one goes up to the Bugle
without a pass, sir.

Make an exception.

Hit 22, please.

These don't work so good
on the little buttons.

Actually, 22's already pressed.

So you going to the Bugle?

Yeah, your name ain't Parker, is it?

No point
in paying the city prices...

...when there's perfectly good
coffee here.

I do appreciate a sensible girl.

Bring me Peter Parker.

What does that awful man
want with my nephew?

- We'll ask Peter later.
- I ain't stupid.

Peter Parker
takes all the web-creep's pictures.

I've gotta hurry.
Before Aunt May destroys everything.

Who do you think you are?

Or what do you think you are?

I'll give you 15 seconds to write me
a check for these damages or--

I mean, how may I be of service?

Peter Parker.

Now.

No, don't-- Parker?

Parker the photographer?

Never met the guy.

No address, either.
Only makes contact by e-mail.

What a fine, brave man
to protect my nephew that way.

I'm glad Peter's found
such good people to work with.

But you're too old for him, dear.

- What do you think, I'm stupid?
- Well, you are dressed stupid.

Put me down.

It's for your own safety, picklepuss.

- What do you want with Parker?
- You. Just you.

And payback for all the times
you took me down.

- O'Hirn?
- Not anymore.

Call me Rhino.

Hey, watch it,
glass doors are expensive.

Your goop's useless now, creep.

First Marko becomes Sandman, now
this? What's the Big Man's next move?

Turning Flash Thompson
into the Belligerent Bug-Zapper?

If I can't stop this bruiser,
maybe 2 feet of concrete will.

No.

Thrill ride.

Attention Rhino.

Lay down flat in your crater.

Keep your hands
where we can see them.

You see them now?

This one's mine, detective.
Hey, needle-nose.

Party's over here.

You like being hunted, freak?

Would you please
look who's talking?

I may be a freak,
but I'm not a coward.

Even the old O'Hirn
never ran away scared.

I'm scared all right.

Scared some bystander
will get hurt.

Gotta lure rawhide
someplace deserted.

Hurry up, hippo-

Where do you find deserted
in a city of 8 million?

Stupid truck.

Made me lose Spider-creep.

That's gonna leave a mark.

This always works in the cartoons.

Television so cannot be trusted.

Remember what I did
to them bowling balls'?

- Wait, wait.
- What?

Weight.

Where'd you go?

How's that for confident?

He stops to satisfy
before smashing me.

Unless it's not confidence.

Okay, break's over.

You missed.

Over here, moose.

Let's play follow the leader.

Think you can hide
from me down there?

Think again.

Hot enough for you?

Come on, you big lug,
let's go for a run.

Can't help noticing
you've stopped spouting off.

What's the matter?
Mouth a little dry?

And to think my mistake was
trying to crack open that hide of yours.

Nothing can do that.
Big Man's guys told me.

I'm impenetrable.

Too true. And if nothing can penetrate,
you can't perspire.

Your face is sweating
for your whole body.

It's probably enough
under most conditions.

But in a steam tunnel...

I gotta get out of here.

Yeah, good luck with that.

Come one, come all.
Before your very eyes...

...the world's largest
dehydrated turtle.

I swear I'm gonna crush you.

Promised Big Man I'd crush you.

Crush you. Crush you. Crush you.

Are we losing it a bit, Alexander?

Only Mama calls me Alexander.

You're not my mama.

Not my mama. Mama.

- Yes, I think we are.
- Mama?

Do I have to go to school?

So, Alexander, tell Mama:

Who's the Big Man?

Ixnay, we don't ever use the B word.

Call him Mr. Lincoln.

You're gonna need a crane.

I'm impressed.

Rhino's still underground.

And OsCorp's already got the contract
to build his prison cell.

After our success
containing Sandman...

...whom else would the city call?

Meaning you get paid
coming and going. Sweet.

Very. But these midtown brawls...

People are beginning
to ask questions.

Best to let things cool off for a bit.

We cool off,
when the Big Man says so, see?

Or do you want people to know
who created Freak 1 and Freak 2?

Please, there's nothing to trace them
back to OsCorp or myself.

Really? Tell that to Dr. Octavius.

Hey, Dad, great news.

I got straight A's on my midterms.

I made varsity football, first-string. I
have a date to formal with the hottest--

Harry, can't you see I'm in a meeting?
Get out.

Yes, sir. Sorry.

Didn't mean to interrupt.

That wall-crawler's
as bad as the Rhino.

I'll sue them blind.

Is it safe to come out yet?

Peter, were you here
this whole time?

It's okay. I was hiding.
I'm good at hiding.

I can also be very heroic, honest.

Could we talk for a minute?

About tonight, I can't go with you.

I'm too old for you,
and it's just too weird.

You think I'm weird?

Oh, no, you're not weird, Peter.
It's weird.

I'm sorry.

Oh, dear. How disappointing.
I imagine you need some time alone.

I'll find my own way home.

I gotta make something go right.

Mr. Foswell?

Do you know anything
about a Mr. Lincoln?

- Our 16th President?
- Not that Lincoln.

This one might also go by the name
Big Man?

You must mean
L. Thompson Lincoln.

Yeah, a rumor surfaces
every few years...

...that he's some kind of crime lord...

...but, hey, I checked it out.

Lincoln looks a little odd,
but he's one of the good guys.

A true philanthropist.
Straight as they come.

Hey, if there is a Big Man out there,
his name's not Lincoln.

I'm here to see Mr. Lincoln.

You should make an appointment.

But perhaps
we'll make an exception...

...for the hero of the day.

I am L. Thompson Lincoln.

Please, you're the Big Man.

In my life,
I've been called many names.

- My favorite is Tombstone.
- Back off.

I just took down the Rhino.
A pale guy in a suit doesn't s--

Don't move. Just listen.

And I'll teach you the facts of life.

The Big Man, whomever he might be,
has nothing against heroes.

No hero can thwart enough crime
to dent his income.

But you--

You frighten criminals
off the street entirely.

Except when you're off
battling the likes of the Rhino.

Then the Big Man's profitable
army of petty thugs...

...think themselves
beneath the Spider-Man's notice.

So as long as I keep fighting crime,
you'll keep making bigger and badder--

Now, you're learning.

But there is a way out.

Come work for me.

You can still save the world
like a good hero.

I'll even pay you.

All you have to remember
is to look the other way on occasion.

On any occasion I choose.

I can't ever look the other way again.
Let's finish this.

If you insist.

Officers, Spider-Man has trespassed
on my property...

...assaulted my employees
and threatened my person.

Wait. You can't listen to him.

He's the bad guy. He's--

Freeze, Spider-Man. You're under--

I never ran from the cops before.
I mean, this reeks.

I've won all the battles...

...and never came close
to winning the war.

But Tombstone
did make one mistake.

Now I know there is a war.

So bring it on.

Oh, see? A perfect fit.

But what's the point?

Betty said no. Gwen's not home.

I already lost the bet to Flash.

Showing up alone
would just make it worse.

Well then, isn't it lucky
that Anna Watson's niece...

...that sweet Mary Jane,
is on her way over?

Miss Wonderful Personality?

Is coming here?

- Now?
- There she is.

My, what a lovely dress.

Here, I bought her corsage.

- Couldn't afford the limousine, but--
- You planned this?

Aunt May, you're an evil mastermind.

Just answer the door, dear.

You mean,
you're Mary Jane Watson?

Face it, tiger.
You just hit the jackpot.