The Sopranos (1999–2007): Season 6, Episode 4 - The Fleshy Part of the Thigh - full transcript
Tony goes home and returns to business, perhaps with a new frame of mind. Paulie receives a shock about his mother.
I'll be as fast as I can.
Jesus Christ.
I'll never get used to seeing that.
Won't have to much longer.
Got you scheduled
for surgery tomorrow.
Finally close you up.
- More surgery?
- It's a good sign.
Dr. Plepler doesn't think
he'll need access anymore.
Watch it with the morphine, now.
Beautiful thought.
Who put that up?
My sister.
Who else?
Why you keep it up there
if you don't find it inspirational?
My daughter likes it.
Everybody keeps telling me
how lucky I am.
You are. Septic shock?
As long as you were out?
Attending staff
gave you 20 to one.
You read the paper?
My own uncle
puts me through this.
New gunshot.
Rapper. Da Lux.
He's hot. Got shot seven times
coming out of a club.
He's still got
all his pancreas, though.
All done.
Fiona.
Look, I've been feeling...
I don't know,
not myself,
since I woke up from the coma.
My thoughts keep
running away with me.
These feelings?
They'll pass.
It's very common
in post-surgical patients.
Maybe you'd like to talk to someone.
Social worker?
Hey, babe, how ya feeling?
Oh, good, good.
That candy striper out there,
there's not much of a selection.
There was something on "Sink the
Bismarck," but half the pages were gone.
But you like dinosaurs.
Having surgery tomorrow.
They say they're closing me up.
Gus!
Jason, my condolences.
Your dad was the best boss
any of us ever had.
We're sad to hear
you're selling the company.
I've been going over the books.
We're paying an Anthony Soprano
the second-highest salary
in the company.
He's a consultant.
Where do I reach him?
I want to make some changes,
but his office is full of junk.
There's a 55-horse
Johnson outboard on the desk.
Looks like nobody's ever there.
He's in the hospital.
You should talk
to his colleague, Mr. Gaultieri.
Paulie?
Oh, Tony Soprano.
Of course.
I knew him when I was a kid.
He was a friend of the family.
I'm having surgery tomorrow.
I'm not supposed to eat!
You fucking believe this?
Always something.
So anyway, she was crying
the entire night
and I didn't get any sleep.
Why don't you ride on the fucking
zephyrs and sleep on a cloud?
What, you think
I put that up there?
- I didn't.
- Right.
Who then?
Hello. I can't hear...
Yeah... talk louder!
Nanny.
Between the reception
and her language skills...
I suppose you got a little
choo-choo train at home, huh?
Takes your toast right from the kitchen,
delivers it to your bedroom?
Look, Ton'... I'm sorry
about what happened
with Junior
and the shooting, but...
Don't mention Junior
to me ever again.
I'll tell you this, Bobby...
You can't hide behind
this brother-in-law shit forever.
You're an okay guy,
but each and every man
is judged on his own merit.
- Have you heard the good news?
- Jesus Christ!
That's right.
Aaron Arkaway, Jan's friend.
Oh yeah, right.
We're protesting
downstairs and...
I saw Jan in the elevator
this morning.
She told me you were up here.
That's what all
that yelling and singing is?
The druggist from the hospital
pharmacy was fired
for refusing
to fill birth control prescriptions.
We're trying
to get his job back.
Tony, this is our prayer leader,
Bob Brewster.
Hi, Aaron's told me
a lot about you.
I thought we'd come up
and pray with you.
- Bottom feeding, huh?
- It's where the big fish are.
Son of a fuckin' bitch!
They cut my morphine,
trying to wean me off.
You know, I've seen people delivered
from unbelievable pain...
myself included.
- Oh yeah?
- I was at rock bottom.
I was addicted
to cocaine and strippers.
Then I lost my wife
and I crashed my car, drunk.
Ended up upside down, hanging
by my seat belt, completely terrified.
Then I prayed
for God to save me.
- And He came in.
- Praise Him.
And in that moment,
I was reborn.
And I see you there
and I know you're hurting.
And the answer is to accept the Lord
as your personal Savior.
Well I got all this covered, you know,
with my parish priest.
That's great, but what God wants
is for you to love Him directly,
not necessarily through
the intercession of liturgy
or any human agent.
Is this Aaron Arkaway?
- Hey.
- What are you fellas doing here?
Mrs. Soprano.
We were just dialoguing
with your husband.
We were about to pray.
- They were.
- You're having surgery tomorrow.
You know they've done clinical
studies about the power of prayer.
Prayed-for patients
have 11% fewer complications.
I have read that.
It does help to pray.
I mean even if it just
takes your mind off it.
Dear Jesus...
hear these words
and bestow Your loving, healing grace
upon our injured friend.
Lord, help heal his wounds
and help him with
Your cleansing love.
Where sin abounds,
grace abounds even more.
Amen.
- Amen.
- Amen.
Amen.
So, Reverend, let me, uh...
let me ask you about
this guy not selling birth control.
He should be free
to exercise his moral convictions
without suffering
loss of livelihood.
Well here's
what I'm getting at... I'm... I'm...
I'm worried about Viagra.
The way I see it,
I'm gonna need plenty of that,
considering my condition and...
what if somebody decides that Viagra
is wrong and God don't like it?
Well, God loves procreation.
No one's saying
anything against Viagra.
Birth control in the name
of the morning-after pill is a sin
because it strikes
at life, at the unborn.
Yeah but what if somebody
goes after Viagra?
I'm not talking
about procreation
and listen up,
'cause this affects you too.
Something like Viagra
will never be an issue.
Excuse me, but at one time
they were going after booze,
and as a proprietor
of a drinking and eating establishment,
I take this stuff
very seriously.
Strip club, I believe it is.
- Oh, you've been to the Bing?
- No.
He should rest.
Thank you so much
for coming, Pastor, and Aaron.
Thank you so much
for your prayer.
- Sure.
- Yeah, really I...
- I really appreciate it.
- Bye, guys. Praise God.
- What are you, a wiseass?
- What?
What'd I do?
- Oh my God.
- What is it, Doctor?
I just found Jimmy Hoffa.
In Montana, the fossilized remains
of a Tyrannosaurus Rex
yielded soft tissue that indicated
a definite link
between dinosaurs
and modern birds.
- Look who I got here.
- Ho, the sanitation prince.
Hi, Tony. I'm sorry
you're not feeling well.
Thank you.
Sorry about your loss.
Your father and I
were very close.
Remember my daughter
Meadow? Jason Barone.
- Hi.
- Hey.
Remember when you were a kid,
at that field box
at Shea, opening day?
Me, you, your dad
and Paulie here?
Oh yeah. Kingman was
just back from the Cubs.
Mookie Wilson hit that foul tip,
beaned that guy in the loge.
I gotta get to the office.
Finn's picking me up.
- I'll be back later.
- Sweetheart,
thank you for everything.
Okay. Don't wear him out.
She wants to be a doctor.
Also considering law.
So, you're living
in Deer Valley?
Yeah, ski instructor.
So, Paulie tells me
you're thinking of selling
your father's business
to Chuckie Cinelli.
Yeah, I think it's
the best thing for Mom.
And of course, Tony, there'd be
a severance package for you.
Frankly, Jason, I don't think
you should sell
the business right now.
There's a lot
of potential buyers out there.
When I get out of the hospital,
run the numbers,
get you the best price.
No, Cinelli's offer seemed fair.
There's lots of things
to take into account.
- You even know what your EBITDA is?
- My what?
Earnings Before Interest, Taxes,
Depreciation and Amortization.
Gives the true picture
of a company's profitability.
Jas, you let me handle this.
I don't want
to see you get hurt.
The carting business...
it's a different
corporate culture.
You're tired, T.
We'll leave. Come on.
All right.
Bye, Tony.
We're afraid
she doesn't have long left.
I'm surprised she
didn't call Ma.
Well she asked specifically
to see you.
Ooh, Madonn'.
Paulie.
Aunt Dottie.
Hold on a sec.
- It's chilly in here.
- I'm burning up. I'm burning up.
I brought you
some pignolis and...
a new pair of those
Speedo skin-diver socks you like.
Look at those.
The treads are all gone.
You slip on the linoleum again,
then where are we?
- Paulie, I gotta tell you...
- Just a sec.
Sister, please
give me a hand here.
Put these on my aunt, will ya?
Paulie, you should know...
- Speak up, Aunt Dot.
- I was...
- I was a bad girl.
- How could you be a bad girl?
- You're a nun.
- These are too small.
No they ain't. They're supposed
to be snug so she don't slip.
- Put 'em on.
- Paulie...
During the war,
I was still a novitiate.
I was helping out at the USO,
and there was
this soldier... Russ.
And he was so lonely...
Aunt Dottie,
if this is going where I think,
maybe you should
talk to a priest.
I got pregnant.
- I had a baby.
- A baby?
Listen to her.
The Alzheimer's is gettin' to her.
You didn't have no baby.
I did.
I did have a baby.
Paulie...
it was you.
You're my son.
But...
But Ma?
Marianuccia is your aunt.
I'm your Ma.
I was a bad girl.
Good afternoon, Mr. Soprano.
How are you doing?
- Better now.
- I'm glad to hear that.
Where they been keepin' you?
The other doctors around here...
it's like the United Colors
of Benetton.
I'm not a doctor.
I'm a utilization
review specialist.
I represent
your insurance carrier.
It's my job, together with
your physicians,
to see how fast we can
get you out of this place and back home.
Well this is good.
They've closed your incision
and you're ambulatory
now and I see they got the Foley out.
You wanna kick me out of here.
Well, a hospital stay
costs a lot of money.
My bowels don't work.
I'm in pain.
I just got operated on,
for Christ's sake.
Perhaps your bowels
would be working better
if you hadn't tried to eat
the sausage sandwich on 3/28.
I don't believe this. With all the money
I've been contributing
over the years,
you wanna put me in the street.
Look, you think we're the enemy,
but if you hadn't had insurance,
you would have ended up
at the County Hospital.
It's a good thing that you had your
card with you
when they performed
the wallet biopsy.
- The what?
- In the ambulance.
If you hadn't had
your card with you,
they would have dropped your butt
at Martin Luther King.
The "wallet biopsy"?
Get out of my room,
you sick cunt.
You're doing great.
Mrs. Soprano? Doctor Taschlin's
on the phone for you.
Can you sit here
for a minute, Ton'?
Yeah, I'm winded.
He says he's downhearted.
I tried to explain to him
there's an upside to everything.
Yeah, man.
I know it's
a difficult struggle,
but let's lead with some good news
for a change.
Yeah.
"Armor Gettin" ' CD
is now charting
number five, arrow up.
Look, frankly the shooting
couldn't have come at a better time.
Yeah, but it really hurts.
Sure it does, baby boy.
Sure it does, but check it.
Seven caps!
Tupac ain't get near that.
And 50, he only got two more.
Yeah, but it really hurts.
It's helping considerably
with the street cred,
which, as you know, has always
been something of a problem
because you had
a job all those years.
I'm gonna lose my thumb?
Special hand surgeon coming in.
Come on, man.
You gonna be all right, Lux.
"Don't put on that face.
It don't make me weep.
Keep your eyes to yourself,
you sexy freak."
Nah, I like it better.
"Keep your eyes to yourself, bitch.
I'm on a murder streak."
Word, word.
Yeah, kinda warn her ass,
you know what I mean?
- Yeah, that's fine.
- You writing a song, huh?
I always wondered
how it was done.
Like this here.
Are you a rap star
my son would know?
Da Lux gonna produce my album.
Then he gets shot.
Make him gangsta number one.
It's like he losing
focus on my shit.
My son says he's
more popular than ever 'cause of it.
What I know is
I ain't gonna have...
no major release this year.
Man.
Dear...
Paulie, I won $40 at Keno.
Ow!
Is there something
you wanna tell me about?
What?
I just saw
Aunt Dottie, and guess what?
Turns out she's not my aunt.
Turns out she's my mother.
No, that's not true.
Don't bullshit me.
You been bullshitting me my entire life.
- Paulie.
- It's true, isn't it?
Isn't it?
Son of a bitch!
Oh how I dreaded this day.
I gave you everything!
I gave you a son's love,
all under false pretenses.
- No.
- You're a fraud,
and a phony.
And she's even worse.
She's a whore.
My mother's a fuckin' whore!
Don't say that.
She was a young girl.
She wanted to be a nun,
but she got in trouble.
And you helped her out,
cooked up this little scheme.
Forget who gets victimized!
I loved you.
I always loved you.
Paulie!
There he is.
I've been thinking about your problem.
Maybe it would help you
if you got shot.
Fuck you talking 'bout?
"Got shot"?
Make you more popular too,
you know raise your profile with Ex Lax.
Something easy.
The fleshy part of the thigh.
- I'm a marksman.
- You's a crazy motherfucker.
Good morning. Welcome to "Today"
on a Thursday morning.
- I'm Matt Lauer.
- And I'm Katie Couric.
Poll numbers vary...
somewhat disappointing
for the administration.
Excuse me. Hi.
You're a friend of Anthony's.
I was just about to visit him.
How's he doing?
He's in a lot better shape than those
fuckin' nuns you got up there.
Put away such memories.
Between father and son,
there is a bridge
which neither time nor death...
Hey, I got
Phil Leotardo downstairs
This show...
used to watch it all the time
- when I was a little kid.
- What about it?
The bridge of which I speak,
Grasshopper.
- You want me to bring him up?
- No.
Help me out of here.
Hold on.
Easy, easy.
Ho! Where the fuck
you going?
Sorry, Ton'.
Hope you got
some sleep last night.
I was snoring
like a son of a bitch.
Oh, I hope you got some sleep.
I was cutting farts like sonic booms.
John Schwinn.
Oh, bicycle heir.
Unfortunately no relation.
I was just a foot soldier
at Bell Labs.
Oh, you guys invented stereo.
- Eh...
- Tony Soprano.
What're you in for?
- Sinus infection.
- Oh.
They were going to enlarge the opening
in my lower right maxillary sinus,
and then they saw
some stuff they didn't like,
so they're running tests.
Another guinea pig.
Thank you
for giving my kid that CD.
Tony Soprano?
- Original G.
- Yeah, whatever.
Why don't you come by
my joint later on tonight?
Gonna have the fight
on satellite.
Not even a courtesy call,
and you try to poach my company?
No disrespect, Tony.
You've been in a coma.
That give you carte blanche?
Huh?
It's that fucking John.
He's sitting in the can.
The feds are trying
to take everything he's got.
- He's in a panic state.
- I'm sensitive to that.
But whatever happens
to Barone Sanitation,
I gotta be kept on.
I need that W-2.
And as you can see,
I'm facing a long convalescence here.
And Barone is my secondary insurance
carrier. I need it.
John's gonna take care of you.
You know that, Tony.
But what you're asking?
25% of the sale price,
years' salary till retirement,
plus skim?
Come on.
Look, I don't wanna argue.
I'm not well, so I'll give John
a break on the skim.
Getting two Gs a week now.
How many stops we base that on?
Ho! How many stops?
- 11.
- The fuck you talking about?!
- It's at least 25.
- 25.
What? Yeah.
All right, take the skim on 20.
1,500 a week, but I stay on
the payroll as is.
All I can do is deliver
the message, Anthony.
You got your head
up your ass today.
- What's going on?
- My Aunt Dottie's been sick.
Call I got?
She just died.
Oh.
Sorry.
You were close?
Your mom's sister or your dad's?
Mom's.
She must be broken up, huh?
Here we are.
Guess your brother
and sister coming in?
Yeah.
Your aunt, she's the nun.
- Yeah.
- Always wondered.
They got hair under there?
Yeah, short.
Well maybe you don't
wanna talk about it.
Yeah.
Those wedding rings they wear...
are they really
married to Jesus?
So I understand.
T, this is the guy,
the paramedic.
"Wallet biopsy"?
Nice.
Very nice.
These people are saying I took money
from your wallet? Fuck that.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
What'd you say?
I was looking
for proof of insurance.
- I was only doing my job.
- They heard a lot of that at Nuremberg.
You owe me two K.
It was gone from my wallet.
I don't have that kind of money.
One week, Rudy Diaz,
or you'll need a paramedic.
Oh, nice of you to come by.
We'll see you next week, huh?
All this activity, Tony,
are you getting any rest?
Absolutely. The guys
are just leaving.
Carmela.
So, you two came together.
You talking now?
Mom apologized to me.
And he got a job at Blockbuster.
Good. Well I'm glad
to see you made up.
- Yeah, get 'em, man.
- Know what I'm saying?
Fucker keeps dropping his hands.
Your boy's getting tired.
Fool's costing me 50 Gs.
Who you place your action with?
- Pinnacle.
- Online?
What price they give
you on Alvarez?
350.
- Damn!
- Oh man.
Hold the motherfucker steady!
My friend here'll give you 375.
Right, Paulie?
He don't even wanna fight, man.
Wonder what kind
of health insurance he's got.
It's a life of abuse.
Yes, well he is a boxer.
It's the same for everybody.
Look at you, T.
You do your uncle a kindness,
you get shot for your efforts.
You think you got family,
but in the end,
they fuck you too.
He's grieving.
His aunt just died.
I tell ya, we each
and every one of us,
we're alone in the ring,
fighting for our lives,
- just like that poor prick.
- Well, that's one way to look at it.
- You got a better one?
- Don't get me started.
- It's complicated.
- You think I'm stupid?!
It's actually an illusion
those two boxers are separate entities.
- What the fuck?
- Illusion?
Their separate entities is simply
the way we choose to perceive them.
- I didn't chose nothing.
- It's physics.
Schr?dinger's equation.
The boxers, you, me... we're all part
of the same quantum field.
You ever substitute teach
at Carver Middle School?
He's a rocket scientist,
for Christ's sake. Bell Labs.
Shit. Lift it up, nigga!
You were saying?
Well, think of the two boxers
as ocean waves
or currents of air,
two tornadoes, say.
They appear to be two things, right?
Two separate things.
But they're not.
Tornadoes are just wind,
the wind stirred up
in different directions.
The fact is, nothing is separate...
everything's connected.
Everything is everything.
- I'm down with that.
- Get the fuck out of here.
The universe is just
one big soup of molecules...
bumping up against one another.
The shapes we see exist only in our
own consciousness.
Keshawn, don't make me
come over there.
You're so fucking smart,
fix that TV.
Okay, okay.
Besides the financial ramifications,
he says there's the issue of his W-2
and health insurance.
That selfish prick.
I'm sitting in here
facing a shitstorm
and all he can think
about is himself?!
As far as the sale's concerned,
that ship has sailed.
It's going through,
and as a friend,
I would appreciate Tony's help.
Because he's a friend,
here's what I'm willing to do.
Cinelli will retain him as waste
management consultant for two years.
During that time, he can keep his
fucking W-2 and his health insurance.
Plus 5% of the sale price.
And we lease him a new car.
Are you fuckin' kidding me?
I told them I need
that W-2 in perpetuity,
and 5% of the fucking
sale price?!
He thinks 'cause I'm
in this weakened condition,
he can take advantage.
Well, he can go fuck himself.
I'm just telling you
what Phil told me, Ton'.
You tell Jason before he sells,
he better understand
his obligation!
What's up, Paulie?
Since even with Tony's advice,
you seem determined
to sell your father's company,
there's something you should know.
Whatever happens,
we gotta be taken care of.
Yeah, of course.
I'm going to honor whatever provisions
- are in the contract.
- Fuck the contract.
Tony's given years
of his life to that company,
and he expects
to be duly compensated.
Johnny Sack sure as shit
ain't gonna perform.
- Who?
- Mr. Cinelli's waste management
consultant. And since Johnny Sack
ain't gonna step up,
guess what?
It's coming out of your ass.
You know, I'm starting to feel
a little intimidated.
As well you should, my friend.
A man who teaches skiing
for a living
ought to look after
his physical condition,
wouldn't you say?
His knees.
Kid, you wouldn't be in this
situation
if you'd listened to Tony
in the first place.
He's looking out for you.
He doesn't wanna see you get hurt.
I got a lot on my
mind these days.
I don't need this shit.
Jason, we shook hands.
A deal's a deal.
There's lifetime employees
who expect compensation.
It's only equitable. Now if you're
willing to take care of that,
maybe we could
still work things out.
Tony Soprano, right?
Fuck that and fuck him.
He's your problem.
- Look, the numbers just don't work.
- Jason!
I'm going to the buffet table.
Be right there, Mom.
If I give Tony what he wants,
I lose money on the sale.
- I can't do that to my mom.
- Kid, you work it out any way you want,
- but nobody's backing out of the deal.
- Mr. Cinelli, I'm sorry,
but the bottom line is I'm not selling
the company to you.
There are other buyers out there.
Tony was quite clear about that.
I'll tell you the fuckin' bottom line,
laddy buck.
The Barone routes
are now Cinelli routes.
That's that.
T.
Horrible thing.
They brought this little girl in,
she's got third-degree burns
on 80% of her body.
You wouldn't believe
the week I've had.
What?
There's a little girl
burned in there.
- Jesus Christ.
- Sorry, T.
No. Now what the fuck
is with you?
And I want some answers, 'cause you're
starting to drive me fuckin' nuts.
This remains between us?
'Course.
My aunt who died...
she wasn't my aunt.
She was my mother.
What?
Your aunt, the nun...
was your mother?
Some cocksucker G.I.
knocked her up during the war.
Russ.
- So what was your mother?
- My ma's my aunt.
She adopted me
to hide the family shame.
Believe this shit?
All I did for her.
Not only is my ma not my ma,
who the fuck even knows
who this Russ bastard is?
Worst thing, I'm not who I am.
It's like my whole
life is a joke,
a big fuckin' joke on me.
Can I come with you every day?
You gotta go back to school.
This is just for the vacation.
Stay here.
- What's going on?
- This ain't your route no more.
It's ours. Cinelli.
What do you mean?
I have this route for five years.
Stupid fuck.
Fuck this.
Papi!
Papi!
Papi!
Papi! Papi!
Papi!
Papi!
Get back in your pajamas,
go to bed, eat nothing but gallons
of ice cream, tons of pizza...
Who's there?
Oh, hi Paulie.
You didn't go to your mother's funeral.
It's a sin.
Some mother. Even a rat don't
abandon its own children.
No, you should
feel sorry for her.
She's gonna have
to face St. Peter
with this stain on her.
- I hope she rots in hell!
- Don't say that!
And you.
I was your meal ticket,
the goose with the golden eggs!
Look at this place.
Who set you up here?
Not that fuckin'
brother of mine or Rose.
They never provided
you with shit!
Well, your real children
can start now.
I went without,
so you could have.
The mink coat, the massage chair
from Sharper's Image,
the flat-screen TV.
$2,000 bucks
for a woman I don't even know!
Paulie!
Paulie, please.
You're on your own.
I never wanna see you again.
I told you. It's a different
corporate culture.
I tried to redefine the deal.
You shouldn't have made the deal without
talking to me in the first place!
Well God damn it,
how was I supposed to know?
I made it perfectly clear:
Give up part of your profits.
Thanks to you,
a man is beaten half to death.
While his little boy
was watching.
And it's all over the media!
It's not fair.
The business belongs to my family.
"Fair"?
You fuckin' believe this shit?
You remind me of my kid.
Talk to the Katrina victims
about fair.
Talk to Paulie here.
He'll tell you about fair!
- Absolutely.
- You're worse than my son!
- Get him the fuck outta here!
- Hey!
How was I supposed to know?
My family kept me in the dark.
What kind of pathetic fuckin' excuse
is that?! Don't you communicate?
You make me sick,
you fucking baby.
Shoot me one time,
one time only, you heard?
Fleshy part of the thigh,
like you said.
There's only 7,000 here.
I said eight.
Hey, hey, hey, I get my little brother
to do it for less, believe that.
Trust me, you gotta go outside
the family for something like this.
You don't want people knowing.
That way you can blame it
on Dr. Droop or whoever.
7,000's all I got.
Okay.
I don't wanna know
when it's coming. You decide.
Get this...
It says here that if the history
of the planet
was represented
by the Empire State Building,
the time that human beings
have been on earth
would only be a postage stamp
at the very top.
You realize how insignificant
that makes us?
I don't feel that way.
- Hey.
- Hey.
There he is.
- Hi, Chris.
- Hesh, how are you?
Great to see you
looking so robust.
- Hey.
- How you doing?
- Beth wanted to come.
- Yeah, sure.
- Hi, Tony.
- Hey.
So how's Eli?
I hear that with the physical therapy,
they got him using a walker.
He's doing better.
Thank you.
Hey, Tony.
Okay to visit?
Yeah, yeah, sure.
My nephew Christopher,
Pastor Bob.
Hesh Rabkin, his daughter Beth.
- Hi.
- How you feeling?
Physically,
a little better than I was.
So maybe you're right.
That prayer business works.
I brought you something.
- "Born Again."
- Charles Colson.
The Watergate guy.
Friend of mine
did time with him.
A ruthless, powerful man
who thought he was above the law.
He committed crimes
and then went to prison.
And then he found Jesus,
and everything changed.
Became a different man.
Yeah, so?
Salvation isn't just about
being saved from hell
after you die.
It's also about being saved from
yourself while you're still alive.
I hope when you get
out of the hospital
that you'll join us at the Church
of the Open Door of the Redeemer.
Well it must be nice
to have something to hold onto.
Maybe.
- Hmm.
- What?
Dinosaurs.
My kids can't get enough.
Yeah, yeah, me too.
Every since I saw King Kong
kick their ass in the original.
My son loves dinosaurs too.
- That's interesting.
- What?
Some people would
have you believe
dinosaurs existed
millions of years ago.
It's just not true.
God created the earth
6,000 years ago.
And I tell my kids,
you have to remember,
dinosaurs and human beings
lived on the earth at the same time.
What, like "The Flintstones"?
It's in the Bible.
Yeah, but what about all that
carbon-dating stuff?
A lot of scientists
would disagree with you.
Well, I think you'll find
all those people have an agenda, Tony...
evolution, which is
Satan's plan to deny God.
Evolution and salvation
are mutually exclusive.
Guy next door's a scientist.
Think he'd disagree with you big time.
Then that man's not saved.
Read about Mr. Colson.
We'll talk later.
What's he saying? There were dinosaurs
back with Adam and Eve?
- I guess.
- No way.
T. Rex in the garden
of Eden?
Adam and Eve
would be running all the time,
scared shitless.
But the Bible says it was paradise.
You can disagree
with Evangelicals,
but they're great friends
of the Jews
because Israel is the Holy Land.
You wait.
Hey, how ya doing?
- Hi.
- I'm gonna go to the bathroom.
Your color's better.
So Mr. Wizard, you were talking
about tornados.
You know what
the Indians say about the wind?
- No.
- They say that sometimes
we go around feeling pity
for ourselves,
but behind our back,
a great wind is carrying us.
We don't see we're part
of a much bigger reality.
- Then we die.
- Why are you so interested in all this?
I was in this coma and, uh...
look, I don't remember nothing,
but before I woke up,
I felt like I was being pulled
towards something.
And I don't wanna go back.
And my wife told me
I woke up at one point and said...
"Who am I?
Where am I going?"
Kinda makes you wonder,
about heaven and hell.
That presupposes a duality
of good and evil.
You know it gets us
back to the idea
of separate, opposing entities.
You know where I go with that.
But this Bible guy
I know says you're going to hell.
Maybe he's right.
Got my test results back.
Laryngeal cancer.
Jesus, I'm sorry.
You know I was thinking,
maybe you could do me a favor
and, uh, you know
what's the term,
"whack" me?
Sorry, bad joke.
- Walking alone again.
- What, I'm gonna wait for Vito?
Hour and a half
to take a dump, that guy.
Could build a jetty
with what comes out.
Little Paulie tells me
you didn't go to your aunt's funeral.
And I'll tell you
something else...
I'm done with Nucci.
Four Gs a month
for that nursing home? Fuck that.
What are you gonna do,
throw her out on the street?
Way I see it,
serves her right.
What the fuck, Paulie?
That woman loved you.
She fed you.
How many times she bail you out
of the can when you were a kid?
Huh? Am I right?
I'll tell ya
what really fries me...
It's not Nucci.
It's Dottie.
I know to your way of thinking,
you didn't have a great mother...
- Ho!
- All I'm saying,
Livia, with all her faults,
never abandoned you.
For Christ's sake, Paulie.
You know what your problem is?
You go around
in pity for yourself.
You think you got it bad.
You're not stuck
in some hospital room
with fucking tubes
coming out of you.
You can eat food
like a normal person.
T, I never meant
to trivialize your situation.
Well, you gotta get beyond this petty
bullshit, Paulie.
You're part of something bigger.
When you gonna learn that?
- My ass!
- Marvin?!
Ow! They shot me
in my ass!
They shot me in my ass!
Marvin!
Pearl's oyster bar...
the lobster roll.
Listen, Ton', that package,
from Vito and Paulie?
I have to believe
that there was more there.
Sure. So?
Vito especially
is somebody you should watch.
Mr. Soprano?
Good morning, Mrs. Soprano.
Ah, the bird of prey.
Okay, it looks like your last drainage
tube is coming out today.
Dr. Plepler says you're stable
and the pain is manageable
so that's good news.
You're husband's coming home.
- Are you sure he's ready?
- What does she give a shit?
She's trying to save a buck.
Hold on a minute.
Guy next door... Mr. Schwinn.
Had surgery
this morning, cancer.
You know anything about it?
I heard they removed his larynx.
Wrote attorney Jim Sokoloff...
On the city of 6,000...
"Gitanos."
That's a Mexican word
for gypsies.
Tony? How are you?
Hey! All right.
I made you
some stuffed zucchini.
- He can't eat that.
- Oh, oh, I'm sorry.
It was thoughtful anyways.
Listen, my condolences
regarding Dick.
- You get my flowers?
- Oh yeah.
They were beautiful.
- Have a seat.
- Oh thank you.
Uh, Jas told me
about the conversation you had.
I can only imagine
how upset you must be.
Well it is a very
unfortunate situation.
Jason just doesn't understand
how the business works.
- That's for sure.
- No, it's not his fault.
It's my fault. Dick and I purposely
kept him in the dark.
Blame me, not him.
You're not involved
in this, Helen.
I was too wrapped up
in my own grief.
I didn't realize...
He's my boy, Tony.
He's my baby.
It'd kill me
if anything happened to him.
What are you talkin' about?
Tony, please. You have a son.
I'm begging you.
Helen, believe me,
nothin's gonna happen to him.
I'm his mother, Tony.
I love him.
If anyone has to pay
for this, let it be me.
How many times I gotta tell you?
It's gonna be fine.
But, Tony, do I have your word?
Yeah. Yeah, yeah,
you got my word.
Especially good week this week.
Good.
I know how good you feel.
I was only in the hospital overnight.
I couldn't wait to get out.
Hold on.
You wanna go in, say goodbye?
No.
I wanted to make sure
you had this before you checked out.
Whoa, whoa.
Not here.
It's all right.
Let's go.
- Ton'?
- Let's go.
Hey. H-hey!
I'm gonna go get the car.
I'll follow you home.
- Janice.
- What?
Supposed to be dead.
Now I'm alive.
I'm the luckiest guy
in the whole world.
Listen, after this...
from now on,
every day is a gift.
Yeah.
I'm gonna go get the car.
Tony? Phil Leotardo
is here to see you.
- Hmm.
- 10 minutes.
You're supposed to be resting.
Hey, blondie.
It's all you, you know.
The reason I'm back here.
No, it's not just me
by any means.
Thank you for saying that.
- Anthony.
- Hey.
Johnny doesn't want
another unfortunate incident.
He's willing to let you keep
your paycheck and your W-2 for 10 years.
To replace the skim,
he'll jack up your share
of the sale price to 12%.
No more skim.
Truth be told,
there's enough garbage
for everybody.
- Does that mean we got a deal?
- Yeah, we got a deal.
Be well.
Aw, fuck!
Guess what, fuckin' mama's boy?!
You're kicking up
four grand to me every month.
I don't care if you're in Deer Valley
or Death Valley!
Four grand, every goddamn month!
And if you ever mention
a word of this to Tony,
I'll stick this up your ass
and pull the trigger
till the bullets come out your eyes.
Jesus Christ.
I'll never get used to seeing that.
Won't have to much longer.
Got you scheduled
for surgery tomorrow.
Finally close you up.
- More surgery?
- It's a good sign.
Dr. Plepler doesn't think
he'll need access anymore.
Watch it with the morphine, now.
Beautiful thought.
Who put that up?
My sister.
Who else?
Why you keep it up there
if you don't find it inspirational?
My daughter likes it.
Everybody keeps telling me
how lucky I am.
You are. Septic shock?
As long as you were out?
Attending staff
gave you 20 to one.
You read the paper?
My own uncle
puts me through this.
New gunshot.
Rapper. Da Lux.
He's hot. Got shot seven times
coming out of a club.
He's still got
all his pancreas, though.
All done.
Fiona.
Look, I've been feeling...
I don't know,
not myself,
since I woke up from the coma.
My thoughts keep
running away with me.
These feelings?
They'll pass.
It's very common
in post-surgical patients.
Maybe you'd like to talk to someone.
Social worker?
Hey, babe, how ya feeling?
Oh, good, good.
That candy striper out there,
there's not much of a selection.
There was something on "Sink the
Bismarck," but half the pages were gone.
But you like dinosaurs.
Having surgery tomorrow.
They say they're closing me up.
Gus!
Jason, my condolences.
Your dad was the best boss
any of us ever had.
We're sad to hear
you're selling the company.
I've been going over the books.
We're paying an Anthony Soprano
the second-highest salary
in the company.
He's a consultant.
Where do I reach him?
I want to make some changes,
but his office is full of junk.
There's a 55-horse
Johnson outboard on the desk.
Looks like nobody's ever there.
He's in the hospital.
You should talk
to his colleague, Mr. Gaultieri.
Paulie?
Oh, Tony Soprano.
Of course.
I knew him when I was a kid.
He was a friend of the family.
I'm having surgery tomorrow.
I'm not supposed to eat!
You fucking believe this?
Always something.
So anyway, she was crying
the entire night
and I didn't get any sleep.
Why don't you ride on the fucking
zephyrs and sleep on a cloud?
What, you think
I put that up there?
- I didn't.
- Right.
Who then?
Hello. I can't hear...
Yeah... talk louder!
Nanny.
Between the reception
and her language skills...
I suppose you got a little
choo-choo train at home, huh?
Takes your toast right from the kitchen,
delivers it to your bedroom?
Look, Ton'... I'm sorry
about what happened
with Junior
and the shooting, but...
Don't mention Junior
to me ever again.
I'll tell you this, Bobby...
You can't hide behind
this brother-in-law shit forever.
You're an okay guy,
but each and every man
is judged on his own merit.
- Have you heard the good news?
- Jesus Christ!
That's right.
Aaron Arkaway, Jan's friend.
Oh yeah, right.
We're protesting
downstairs and...
I saw Jan in the elevator
this morning.
She told me you were up here.
That's what all
that yelling and singing is?
The druggist from the hospital
pharmacy was fired
for refusing
to fill birth control prescriptions.
We're trying
to get his job back.
Tony, this is our prayer leader,
Bob Brewster.
Hi, Aaron's told me
a lot about you.
I thought we'd come up
and pray with you.
- Bottom feeding, huh?
- It's where the big fish are.
Son of a fuckin' bitch!
They cut my morphine,
trying to wean me off.
You know, I've seen people delivered
from unbelievable pain...
myself included.
- Oh yeah?
- I was at rock bottom.
I was addicted
to cocaine and strippers.
Then I lost my wife
and I crashed my car, drunk.
Ended up upside down, hanging
by my seat belt, completely terrified.
Then I prayed
for God to save me.
- And He came in.
- Praise Him.
And in that moment,
I was reborn.
And I see you there
and I know you're hurting.
And the answer is to accept the Lord
as your personal Savior.
Well I got all this covered, you know,
with my parish priest.
That's great, but what God wants
is for you to love Him directly,
not necessarily through
the intercession of liturgy
or any human agent.
Is this Aaron Arkaway?
- Hey.
- What are you fellas doing here?
Mrs. Soprano.
We were just dialoguing
with your husband.
We were about to pray.
- They were.
- You're having surgery tomorrow.
You know they've done clinical
studies about the power of prayer.
Prayed-for patients
have 11% fewer complications.
I have read that.
It does help to pray.
I mean even if it just
takes your mind off it.
Dear Jesus...
hear these words
and bestow Your loving, healing grace
upon our injured friend.
Lord, help heal his wounds
and help him with
Your cleansing love.
Where sin abounds,
grace abounds even more.
Amen.
- Amen.
- Amen.
Amen.
So, Reverend, let me, uh...
let me ask you about
this guy not selling birth control.
He should be free
to exercise his moral convictions
without suffering
loss of livelihood.
Well here's
what I'm getting at... I'm... I'm...
I'm worried about Viagra.
The way I see it,
I'm gonna need plenty of that,
considering my condition and...
what if somebody decides that Viagra
is wrong and God don't like it?
Well, God loves procreation.
No one's saying
anything against Viagra.
Birth control in the name
of the morning-after pill is a sin
because it strikes
at life, at the unborn.
Yeah but what if somebody
goes after Viagra?
I'm not talking
about procreation
and listen up,
'cause this affects you too.
Something like Viagra
will never be an issue.
Excuse me, but at one time
they were going after booze,
and as a proprietor
of a drinking and eating establishment,
I take this stuff
very seriously.
Strip club, I believe it is.
- Oh, you've been to the Bing?
- No.
He should rest.
Thank you so much
for coming, Pastor, and Aaron.
Thank you so much
for your prayer.
- Sure.
- Yeah, really I...
- I really appreciate it.
- Bye, guys. Praise God.
- What are you, a wiseass?
- What?
What'd I do?
- Oh my God.
- What is it, Doctor?
I just found Jimmy Hoffa.
In Montana, the fossilized remains
of a Tyrannosaurus Rex
yielded soft tissue that indicated
a definite link
between dinosaurs
and modern birds.
- Look who I got here.
- Ho, the sanitation prince.
Hi, Tony. I'm sorry
you're not feeling well.
Thank you.
Sorry about your loss.
Your father and I
were very close.
Remember my daughter
Meadow? Jason Barone.
- Hi.
- Hey.
Remember when you were a kid,
at that field box
at Shea, opening day?
Me, you, your dad
and Paulie here?
Oh yeah. Kingman was
just back from the Cubs.
Mookie Wilson hit that foul tip,
beaned that guy in the loge.
I gotta get to the office.
Finn's picking me up.
- I'll be back later.
- Sweetheart,
thank you for everything.
Okay. Don't wear him out.
She wants to be a doctor.
Also considering law.
So, you're living
in Deer Valley?
Yeah, ski instructor.
So, Paulie tells me
you're thinking of selling
your father's business
to Chuckie Cinelli.
Yeah, I think it's
the best thing for Mom.
And of course, Tony, there'd be
a severance package for you.
Frankly, Jason, I don't think
you should sell
the business right now.
There's a lot
of potential buyers out there.
When I get out of the hospital,
run the numbers,
get you the best price.
No, Cinelli's offer seemed fair.
There's lots of things
to take into account.
- You even know what your EBITDA is?
- My what?
Earnings Before Interest, Taxes,
Depreciation and Amortization.
Gives the true picture
of a company's profitability.
Jas, you let me handle this.
I don't want
to see you get hurt.
The carting business...
it's a different
corporate culture.
You're tired, T.
We'll leave. Come on.
All right.
Bye, Tony.
We're afraid
she doesn't have long left.
I'm surprised she
didn't call Ma.
Well she asked specifically
to see you.
Ooh, Madonn'.
Paulie.
Aunt Dottie.
Hold on a sec.
- It's chilly in here.
- I'm burning up. I'm burning up.
I brought you
some pignolis and...
a new pair of those
Speedo skin-diver socks you like.
Look at those.
The treads are all gone.
You slip on the linoleum again,
then where are we?
- Paulie, I gotta tell you...
- Just a sec.
Sister, please
give me a hand here.
Put these on my aunt, will ya?
Paulie, you should know...
- Speak up, Aunt Dot.
- I was...
- I was a bad girl.
- How could you be a bad girl?
- You're a nun.
- These are too small.
No they ain't. They're supposed
to be snug so she don't slip.
- Put 'em on.
- Paulie...
During the war,
I was still a novitiate.
I was helping out at the USO,
and there was
this soldier... Russ.
And he was so lonely...
Aunt Dottie,
if this is going where I think,
maybe you should
talk to a priest.
I got pregnant.
- I had a baby.
- A baby?
Listen to her.
The Alzheimer's is gettin' to her.
You didn't have no baby.
I did.
I did have a baby.
Paulie...
it was you.
You're my son.
But...
But Ma?
Marianuccia is your aunt.
I'm your Ma.
I was a bad girl.
Good afternoon, Mr. Soprano.
How are you doing?
- Better now.
- I'm glad to hear that.
Where they been keepin' you?
The other doctors around here...
it's like the United Colors
of Benetton.
I'm not a doctor.
I'm a utilization
review specialist.
I represent
your insurance carrier.
It's my job, together with
your physicians,
to see how fast we can
get you out of this place and back home.
Well this is good.
They've closed your incision
and you're ambulatory
now and I see they got the Foley out.
You wanna kick me out of here.
Well, a hospital stay
costs a lot of money.
My bowels don't work.
I'm in pain.
I just got operated on,
for Christ's sake.
Perhaps your bowels
would be working better
if you hadn't tried to eat
the sausage sandwich on 3/28.
I don't believe this. With all the money
I've been contributing
over the years,
you wanna put me in the street.
Look, you think we're the enemy,
but if you hadn't had insurance,
you would have ended up
at the County Hospital.
It's a good thing that you had your
card with you
when they performed
the wallet biopsy.
- The what?
- In the ambulance.
If you hadn't had
your card with you,
they would have dropped your butt
at Martin Luther King.
The "wallet biopsy"?
Get out of my room,
you sick cunt.
You're doing great.
Mrs. Soprano? Doctor Taschlin's
on the phone for you.
Can you sit here
for a minute, Ton'?
Yeah, I'm winded.
He says he's downhearted.
I tried to explain to him
there's an upside to everything.
Yeah, man.
I know it's
a difficult struggle,
but let's lead with some good news
for a change.
Yeah.
"Armor Gettin" ' CD
is now charting
number five, arrow up.
Look, frankly the shooting
couldn't have come at a better time.
Yeah, but it really hurts.
Sure it does, baby boy.
Sure it does, but check it.
Seven caps!
Tupac ain't get near that.
And 50, he only got two more.
Yeah, but it really hurts.
It's helping considerably
with the street cred,
which, as you know, has always
been something of a problem
because you had
a job all those years.
I'm gonna lose my thumb?
Special hand surgeon coming in.
Come on, man.
You gonna be all right, Lux.
"Don't put on that face.
It don't make me weep.
Keep your eyes to yourself,
you sexy freak."
Nah, I like it better.
"Keep your eyes to yourself, bitch.
I'm on a murder streak."
Word, word.
Yeah, kinda warn her ass,
you know what I mean?
- Yeah, that's fine.
- You writing a song, huh?
I always wondered
how it was done.
Like this here.
Are you a rap star
my son would know?
Da Lux gonna produce my album.
Then he gets shot.
Make him gangsta number one.
It's like he losing
focus on my shit.
My son says he's
more popular than ever 'cause of it.
What I know is
I ain't gonna have...
no major release this year.
Man.
Dear...
Paulie, I won $40 at Keno.
Ow!
Is there something
you wanna tell me about?
What?
I just saw
Aunt Dottie, and guess what?
Turns out she's not my aunt.
Turns out she's my mother.
No, that's not true.
Don't bullshit me.
You been bullshitting me my entire life.
- Paulie.
- It's true, isn't it?
Isn't it?
Son of a bitch!
Oh how I dreaded this day.
I gave you everything!
I gave you a son's love,
all under false pretenses.
- No.
- You're a fraud,
and a phony.
And she's even worse.
She's a whore.
My mother's a fuckin' whore!
Don't say that.
She was a young girl.
She wanted to be a nun,
but she got in trouble.
And you helped her out,
cooked up this little scheme.
Forget who gets victimized!
I loved you.
I always loved you.
Paulie!
There he is.
I've been thinking about your problem.
Maybe it would help you
if you got shot.
Fuck you talking 'bout?
"Got shot"?
Make you more popular too,
you know raise your profile with Ex Lax.
Something easy.
The fleshy part of the thigh.
- I'm a marksman.
- You's a crazy motherfucker.
Good morning. Welcome to "Today"
on a Thursday morning.
- I'm Matt Lauer.
- And I'm Katie Couric.
Poll numbers vary...
somewhat disappointing
for the administration.
Excuse me. Hi.
You're a friend of Anthony's.
I was just about to visit him.
How's he doing?
He's in a lot better shape than those
fuckin' nuns you got up there.
Put away such memories.
Between father and son,
there is a bridge
which neither time nor death...
Hey, I got
Phil Leotardo downstairs
This show...
used to watch it all the time
- when I was a little kid.
- What about it?
The bridge of which I speak,
Grasshopper.
- You want me to bring him up?
- No.
Help me out of here.
Hold on.
Easy, easy.
Ho! Where the fuck
you going?
Sorry, Ton'.
Hope you got
some sleep last night.
I was snoring
like a son of a bitch.
Oh, I hope you got some sleep.
I was cutting farts like sonic booms.
John Schwinn.
Oh, bicycle heir.
Unfortunately no relation.
I was just a foot soldier
at Bell Labs.
Oh, you guys invented stereo.
- Eh...
- Tony Soprano.
What're you in for?
- Sinus infection.
- Oh.
They were going to enlarge the opening
in my lower right maxillary sinus,
and then they saw
some stuff they didn't like,
so they're running tests.
Another guinea pig.
Thank you
for giving my kid that CD.
Tony Soprano?
- Original G.
- Yeah, whatever.
Why don't you come by
my joint later on tonight?
Gonna have the fight
on satellite.
Not even a courtesy call,
and you try to poach my company?
No disrespect, Tony.
You've been in a coma.
That give you carte blanche?
Huh?
It's that fucking John.
He's sitting in the can.
The feds are trying
to take everything he's got.
- He's in a panic state.
- I'm sensitive to that.
But whatever happens
to Barone Sanitation,
I gotta be kept on.
I need that W-2.
And as you can see,
I'm facing a long convalescence here.
And Barone is my secondary insurance
carrier. I need it.
John's gonna take care of you.
You know that, Tony.
But what you're asking?
25% of the sale price,
years' salary till retirement,
plus skim?
Come on.
Look, I don't wanna argue.
I'm not well, so I'll give John
a break on the skim.
Getting two Gs a week now.
How many stops we base that on?
Ho! How many stops?
- 11.
- The fuck you talking about?!
- It's at least 25.
- 25.
What? Yeah.
All right, take the skim on 20.
1,500 a week, but I stay on
the payroll as is.
All I can do is deliver
the message, Anthony.
You got your head
up your ass today.
- What's going on?
- My Aunt Dottie's been sick.
Call I got?
She just died.
Oh.
Sorry.
You were close?
Your mom's sister or your dad's?
Mom's.
She must be broken up, huh?
Here we are.
Guess your brother
and sister coming in?
Yeah.
Your aunt, she's the nun.
- Yeah.
- Always wondered.
They got hair under there?
Yeah, short.
Well maybe you don't
wanna talk about it.
Yeah.
Those wedding rings they wear...
are they really
married to Jesus?
So I understand.
T, this is the guy,
the paramedic.
"Wallet biopsy"?
Nice.
Very nice.
These people are saying I took money
from your wallet? Fuck that.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
What'd you say?
I was looking
for proof of insurance.
- I was only doing my job.
- They heard a lot of that at Nuremberg.
You owe me two K.
It was gone from my wallet.
I don't have that kind of money.
One week, Rudy Diaz,
or you'll need a paramedic.
Oh, nice of you to come by.
We'll see you next week, huh?
All this activity, Tony,
are you getting any rest?
Absolutely. The guys
are just leaving.
Carmela.
So, you two came together.
You talking now?
Mom apologized to me.
And he got a job at Blockbuster.
Good. Well I'm glad
to see you made up.
- Yeah, get 'em, man.
- Know what I'm saying?
Fucker keeps dropping his hands.
Your boy's getting tired.
Fool's costing me 50 Gs.
Who you place your action with?
- Pinnacle.
- Online?
What price they give
you on Alvarez?
350.
- Damn!
- Oh man.
Hold the motherfucker steady!
My friend here'll give you 375.
Right, Paulie?
He don't even wanna fight, man.
Wonder what kind
of health insurance he's got.
It's a life of abuse.
Yes, well he is a boxer.
It's the same for everybody.
Look at you, T.
You do your uncle a kindness,
you get shot for your efforts.
You think you got family,
but in the end,
they fuck you too.
He's grieving.
His aunt just died.
I tell ya, we each
and every one of us,
we're alone in the ring,
fighting for our lives,
- just like that poor prick.
- Well, that's one way to look at it.
- You got a better one?
- Don't get me started.
- It's complicated.
- You think I'm stupid?!
It's actually an illusion
those two boxers are separate entities.
- What the fuck?
- Illusion?
Their separate entities is simply
the way we choose to perceive them.
- I didn't chose nothing.
- It's physics.
Schr?dinger's equation.
The boxers, you, me... we're all part
of the same quantum field.
You ever substitute teach
at Carver Middle School?
He's a rocket scientist,
for Christ's sake. Bell Labs.
Shit. Lift it up, nigga!
You were saying?
Well, think of the two boxers
as ocean waves
or currents of air,
two tornadoes, say.
They appear to be two things, right?
Two separate things.
But they're not.
Tornadoes are just wind,
the wind stirred up
in different directions.
The fact is, nothing is separate...
everything's connected.
Everything is everything.
- I'm down with that.
- Get the fuck out of here.
The universe is just
one big soup of molecules...
bumping up against one another.
The shapes we see exist only in our
own consciousness.
Keshawn, don't make me
come over there.
You're so fucking smart,
fix that TV.
Okay, okay.
Besides the financial ramifications,
he says there's the issue of his W-2
and health insurance.
That selfish prick.
I'm sitting in here
facing a shitstorm
and all he can think
about is himself?!
As far as the sale's concerned,
that ship has sailed.
It's going through,
and as a friend,
I would appreciate Tony's help.
Because he's a friend,
here's what I'm willing to do.
Cinelli will retain him as waste
management consultant for two years.
During that time, he can keep his
fucking W-2 and his health insurance.
Plus 5% of the sale price.
And we lease him a new car.
Are you fuckin' kidding me?
I told them I need
that W-2 in perpetuity,
and 5% of the fucking
sale price?!
He thinks 'cause I'm
in this weakened condition,
he can take advantage.
Well, he can go fuck himself.
I'm just telling you
what Phil told me, Ton'.
You tell Jason before he sells,
he better understand
his obligation!
What's up, Paulie?
Since even with Tony's advice,
you seem determined
to sell your father's company,
there's something you should know.
Whatever happens,
we gotta be taken care of.
Yeah, of course.
I'm going to honor whatever provisions
- are in the contract.
- Fuck the contract.
Tony's given years
of his life to that company,
and he expects
to be duly compensated.
Johnny Sack sure as shit
ain't gonna perform.
- Who?
- Mr. Cinelli's waste management
consultant. And since Johnny Sack
ain't gonna step up,
guess what?
It's coming out of your ass.
You know, I'm starting to feel
a little intimidated.
As well you should, my friend.
A man who teaches skiing
for a living
ought to look after
his physical condition,
wouldn't you say?
His knees.
Kid, you wouldn't be in this
situation
if you'd listened to Tony
in the first place.
He's looking out for you.
He doesn't wanna see you get hurt.
I got a lot on my
mind these days.
I don't need this shit.
Jason, we shook hands.
A deal's a deal.
There's lifetime employees
who expect compensation.
It's only equitable. Now if you're
willing to take care of that,
maybe we could
still work things out.
Tony Soprano, right?
Fuck that and fuck him.
He's your problem.
- Look, the numbers just don't work.
- Jason!
I'm going to the buffet table.
Be right there, Mom.
If I give Tony what he wants,
I lose money on the sale.
- I can't do that to my mom.
- Kid, you work it out any way you want,
- but nobody's backing out of the deal.
- Mr. Cinelli, I'm sorry,
but the bottom line is I'm not selling
the company to you.
There are other buyers out there.
Tony was quite clear about that.
I'll tell you the fuckin' bottom line,
laddy buck.
The Barone routes
are now Cinelli routes.
That's that.
T.
Horrible thing.
They brought this little girl in,
she's got third-degree burns
on 80% of her body.
You wouldn't believe
the week I've had.
What?
There's a little girl
burned in there.
- Jesus Christ.
- Sorry, T.
No. Now what the fuck
is with you?
And I want some answers, 'cause you're
starting to drive me fuckin' nuts.
This remains between us?
'Course.
My aunt who died...
she wasn't my aunt.
She was my mother.
What?
Your aunt, the nun...
was your mother?
Some cocksucker G.I.
knocked her up during the war.
Russ.
- So what was your mother?
- My ma's my aunt.
She adopted me
to hide the family shame.
Believe this shit?
All I did for her.
Not only is my ma not my ma,
who the fuck even knows
who this Russ bastard is?
Worst thing, I'm not who I am.
It's like my whole
life is a joke,
a big fuckin' joke on me.
Can I come with you every day?
You gotta go back to school.
This is just for the vacation.
Stay here.
- What's going on?
- This ain't your route no more.
It's ours. Cinelli.
What do you mean?
I have this route for five years.
Stupid fuck.
Fuck this.
Papi!
Papi!
Papi!
Papi! Papi!
Papi!
Papi!
Get back in your pajamas,
go to bed, eat nothing but gallons
of ice cream, tons of pizza...
Who's there?
Oh, hi Paulie.
You didn't go to your mother's funeral.
It's a sin.
Some mother. Even a rat don't
abandon its own children.
No, you should
feel sorry for her.
She's gonna have
to face St. Peter
with this stain on her.
- I hope she rots in hell!
- Don't say that!
And you.
I was your meal ticket,
the goose with the golden eggs!
Look at this place.
Who set you up here?
Not that fuckin'
brother of mine or Rose.
They never provided
you with shit!
Well, your real children
can start now.
I went without,
so you could have.
The mink coat, the massage chair
from Sharper's Image,
the flat-screen TV.
$2,000 bucks
for a woman I don't even know!
Paulie!
Paulie, please.
You're on your own.
I never wanna see you again.
I told you. It's a different
corporate culture.
I tried to redefine the deal.
You shouldn't have made the deal without
talking to me in the first place!
Well God damn it,
how was I supposed to know?
I made it perfectly clear:
Give up part of your profits.
Thanks to you,
a man is beaten half to death.
While his little boy
was watching.
And it's all over the media!
It's not fair.
The business belongs to my family.
"Fair"?
You fuckin' believe this shit?
You remind me of my kid.
Talk to the Katrina victims
about fair.
Talk to Paulie here.
He'll tell you about fair!
- Absolutely.
- You're worse than my son!
- Get him the fuck outta here!
- Hey!
How was I supposed to know?
My family kept me in the dark.
What kind of pathetic fuckin' excuse
is that?! Don't you communicate?
You make me sick,
you fucking baby.
Shoot me one time,
one time only, you heard?
Fleshy part of the thigh,
like you said.
There's only 7,000 here.
I said eight.
Hey, hey, hey, I get my little brother
to do it for less, believe that.
Trust me, you gotta go outside
the family for something like this.
You don't want people knowing.
That way you can blame it
on Dr. Droop or whoever.
7,000's all I got.
Okay.
I don't wanna know
when it's coming. You decide.
Get this...
It says here that if the history
of the planet
was represented
by the Empire State Building,
the time that human beings
have been on earth
would only be a postage stamp
at the very top.
You realize how insignificant
that makes us?
I don't feel that way.
- Hey.
- Hey.
There he is.
- Hi, Chris.
- Hesh, how are you?
Great to see you
looking so robust.
- Hey.
- How you doing?
- Beth wanted to come.
- Yeah, sure.
- Hi, Tony.
- Hey.
So how's Eli?
I hear that with the physical therapy,
they got him using a walker.
He's doing better.
Thank you.
Hey, Tony.
Okay to visit?
Yeah, yeah, sure.
My nephew Christopher,
Pastor Bob.
Hesh Rabkin, his daughter Beth.
- Hi.
- How you feeling?
Physically,
a little better than I was.
So maybe you're right.
That prayer business works.
I brought you something.
- "Born Again."
- Charles Colson.
The Watergate guy.
Friend of mine
did time with him.
A ruthless, powerful man
who thought he was above the law.
He committed crimes
and then went to prison.
And then he found Jesus,
and everything changed.
Became a different man.
Yeah, so?
Salvation isn't just about
being saved from hell
after you die.
It's also about being saved from
yourself while you're still alive.
I hope when you get
out of the hospital
that you'll join us at the Church
of the Open Door of the Redeemer.
Well it must be nice
to have something to hold onto.
Maybe.
- Hmm.
- What?
Dinosaurs.
My kids can't get enough.
Yeah, yeah, me too.
Every since I saw King Kong
kick their ass in the original.
My son loves dinosaurs too.
- That's interesting.
- What?
Some people would
have you believe
dinosaurs existed
millions of years ago.
It's just not true.
God created the earth
6,000 years ago.
And I tell my kids,
you have to remember,
dinosaurs and human beings
lived on the earth at the same time.
What, like "The Flintstones"?
It's in the Bible.
Yeah, but what about all that
carbon-dating stuff?
A lot of scientists
would disagree with you.
Well, I think you'll find
all those people have an agenda, Tony...
evolution, which is
Satan's plan to deny God.
Evolution and salvation
are mutually exclusive.
Guy next door's a scientist.
Think he'd disagree with you big time.
Then that man's not saved.
Read about Mr. Colson.
We'll talk later.
What's he saying? There were dinosaurs
back with Adam and Eve?
- I guess.
- No way.
T. Rex in the garden
of Eden?
Adam and Eve
would be running all the time,
scared shitless.
But the Bible says it was paradise.
You can disagree
with Evangelicals,
but they're great friends
of the Jews
because Israel is the Holy Land.
You wait.
Hey, how ya doing?
- Hi.
- I'm gonna go to the bathroom.
Your color's better.
So Mr. Wizard, you were talking
about tornados.
You know what
the Indians say about the wind?
- No.
- They say that sometimes
we go around feeling pity
for ourselves,
but behind our back,
a great wind is carrying us.
We don't see we're part
of a much bigger reality.
- Then we die.
- Why are you so interested in all this?
I was in this coma and, uh...
look, I don't remember nothing,
but before I woke up,
I felt like I was being pulled
towards something.
And I don't wanna go back.
And my wife told me
I woke up at one point and said...
"Who am I?
Where am I going?"
Kinda makes you wonder,
about heaven and hell.
That presupposes a duality
of good and evil.
You know it gets us
back to the idea
of separate, opposing entities.
You know where I go with that.
But this Bible guy
I know says you're going to hell.
Maybe he's right.
Got my test results back.
Laryngeal cancer.
Jesus, I'm sorry.
You know I was thinking,
maybe you could do me a favor
and, uh, you know
what's the term,
"whack" me?
Sorry, bad joke.
- Walking alone again.
- What, I'm gonna wait for Vito?
Hour and a half
to take a dump, that guy.
Could build a jetty
with what comes out.
Little Paulie tells me
you didn't go to your aunt's funeral.
And I'll tell you
something else...
I'm done with Nucci.
Four Gs a month
for that nursing home? Fuck that.
What are you gonna do,
throw her out on the street?
Way I see it,
serves her right.
What the fuck, Paulie?
That woman loved you.
She fed you.
How many times she bail you out
of the can when you were a kid?
Huh? Am I right?
I'll tell ya
what really fries me...
It's not Nucci.
It's Dottie.
I know to your way of thinking,
you didn't have a great mother...
- Ho!
- All I'm saying,
Livia, with all her faults,
never abandoned you.
For Christ's sake, Paulie.
You know what your problem is?
You go around
in pity for yourself.
You think you got it bad.
You're not stuck
in some hospital room
with fucking tubes
coming out of you.
You can eat food
like a normal person.
T, I never meant
to trivialize your situation.
Well, you gotta get beyond this petty
bullshit, Paulie.
You're part of something bigger.
When you gonna learn that?
- My ass!
- Marvin?!
Ow! They shot me
in my ass!
They shot me in my ass!
Marvin!
Pearl's oyster bar...
the lobster roll.
Listen, Ton', that package,
from Vito and Paulie?
I have to believe
that there was more there.
Sure. So?
Vito especially
is somebody you should watch.
Mr. Soprano?
Good morning, Mrs. Soprano.
Ah, the bird of prey.
Okay, it looks like your last drainage
tube is coming out today.
Dr. Plepler says you're stable
and the pain is manageable
so that's good news.
You're husband's coming home.
- Are you sure he's ready?
- What does she give a shit?
She's trying to save a buck.
Hold on a minute.
Guy next door... Mr. Schwinn.
Had surgery
this morning, cancer.
You know anything about it?
I heard they removed his larynx.
Wrote attorney Jim Sokoloff...
On the city of 6,000...
"Gitanos."
That's a Mexican word
for gypsies.
Tony? How are you?
Hey! All right.
I made you
some stuffed zucchini.
- He can't eat that.
- Oh, oh, I'm sorry.
It was thoughtful anyways.
Listen, my condolences
regarding Dick.
- You get my flowers?
- Oh yeah.
They were beautiful.
- Have a seat.
- Oh thank you.
Uh, Jas told me
about the conversation you had.
I can only imagine
how upset you must be.
Well it is a very
unfortunate situation.
Jason just doesn't understand
how the business works.
- That's for sure.
- No, it's not his fault.
It's my fault. Dick and I purposely
kept him in the dark.
Blame me, not him.
You're not involved
in this, Helen.
I was too wrapped up
in my own grief.
I didn't realize...
He's my boy, Tony.
He's my baby.
It'd kill me
if anything happened to him.
What are you talkin' about?
Tony, please. You have a son.
I'm begging you.
Helen, believe me,
nothin's gonna happen to him.
I'm his mother, Tony.
I love him.
If anyone has to pay
for this, let it be me.
How many times I gotta tell you?
It's gonna be fine.
But, Tony, do I have your word?
Yeah. Yeah, yeah,
you got my word.
Especially good week this week.
Good.
I know how good you feel.
I was only in the hospital overnight.
I couldn't wait to get out.
Hold on.
You wanna go in, say goodbye?
No.
I wanted to make sure
you had this before you checked out.
Whoa, whoa.
Not here.
It's all right.
Let's go.
- Ton'?
- Let's go.
Hey. H-hey!
I'm gonna go get the car.
I'll follow you home.
- Janice.
- What?
Supposed to be dead.
Now I'm alive.
I'm the luckiest guy
in the whole world.
Listen, after this...
from now on,
every day is a gift.
Yeah.
I'm gonna go get the car.
Tony? Phil Leotardo
is here to see you.
- Hmm.
- 10 minutes.
You're supposed to be resting.
Hey, blondie.
It's all you, you know.
The reason I'm back here.
No, it's not just me
by any means.
Thank you for saying that.
- Anthony.
- Hey.
Johnny doesn't want
another unfortunate incident.
He's willing to let you keep
your paycheck and your W-2 for 10 years.
To replace the skim,
he'll jack up your share
of the sale price to 12%.
No more skim.
Truth be told,
there's enough garbage
for everybody.
- Does that mean we got a deal?
- Yeah, we got a deal.
Be well.
Aw, fuck!
Guess what, fuckin' mama's boy?!
You're kicking up
four grand to me every month.
I don't care if you're in Deer Valley
or Death Valley!
Four grand, every goddamn month!
And if you ever mention
a word of this to Tony,
I'll stick this up your ass
and pull the trigger
till the bullets come out your eyes.