The Sopranos (1999–2007): Season 6, Episode 18 - Kennedy and Heidi - full transcript

Stop dumping. Stop dumping.

- What is matter?
- Lower your bed.

You can't dump here no more.
Talk to your boss.

Always we are dumping here.

Caballero, put the shit...

back in your truck.
What?

That is huge job!

Take it easy, boss...
we'll handle that.

Clean this up!

Where I am supposed
to be dumping this now?

Fuck you doing?

Mundo made me miss my break

You know what you're breathing
and eating on your food there?

Asbestos.

What's that?

I just now find out it's asbestos
you've been dumping over there.

What'd you think it was?

I never asked.

Tampax. What the fuck do I know?

Well, now you know.

You and Stefano
have been pocketing how much...

on this cowboys-and-Indians
asbestos removal?

Billing the townships...

like you're following
all the EPA regulations.

You got the same scam.
Why not cut through the bull?

How much you figure
you're owed on this?

- Twenty-five percent.
- Don't be an asshole.

There's close monitoring
at every fucking landfill.

Maybe if somebody
had been upfront with me.

Nobody's hiding nothing.
I had the same dumping deal with...

the operation's manager since
I've been there at Barone Sanitation.

You're not there no more. I am.

You're enjoying your generous
severance package.

Twenty-five percent,
that's not gonna happen.

You got a backyard, a pool,
dump it there.

That's my only other suggestion.

He's got us by the cazzo,
tell you that.

Unless that guy at the Pennsy landfill
decides to play ball.

That asshole's shitting his pants
he'll get pinched by the EPA.

Frankly, Ton...

I think maybe
we should meet Phil's number.

Why? I think that would set
a terrible precedent right now.

Just bend over...

when he just became boss
of the family over there?

Yeah, well, that's the flying ointment.

Even still, I say let him have it.

Life's too short.

It's also too short to live it
as a fucking lackey.

True too.

What is this,
Make-Believe Ballroom?

How many times you gonna
change the station?

This Departed soundtrack's
fucking killer.

- You got it?
- Yeah, it's good.

Regarding Phil, I gotta ask:

Whatever happened to
"stop and smell the roses"?

You're right. You're right.

You can't fight every
fucking battle, right?

Asbestos.

Each day's a gift.

Every time I look at my kid,
that's what I realize.

And that shit with Junior, please.

It's just that people like Phil...

they're not on that page.

Take those roses and stick them
up your ass, thorns first.

This system's got no balls.

So how was your party
that day at the house?

Slow the fuck down, will you?!

Maybe you should go back, Heidi.

Kennedy, I'm on my
learner's permit after dark.

- Fuck.
- Ton...

you gotta... help me.

I'm coming.

I'll never pass the drug test.

What?

You gotta get me out.

I'm gonna lose my license.

Never pass a drug test.

Call me a taxi.

911.

We've been in an accident.

Old Pumping Station Road...

past the reservoir.

- Sorry about that.
- My friend...

the guy I came with, how is he?

Your friend is dead.
Paramedics called it in the ambulance.

Breathe in, please. Hold it.

Do you know a contact number
for his next of kin?

His wife.

- Hello.
- May I speak with Carmela Soprano?

- Who is this?
- Nurse Alma Rosario...

St. Clare's Hospital, Denville.
Is Mrs. Soprano there?

Yes, this is Mrs. Soprano.

Well, I'm here with your husband.
He'd like to speak with you.

- Carm.
- Tony, is everything okay?

Are you sitting down?

- I'm serious.
- Yes, I'm in bed.

All right, listen.

Sweetheart,
there's been an accident.

We were coming back
from the city and...

Christopher's dead.

Oh, my God!

All right.

- Carm.
- What happened?

He drove off the road
and the car flipped over.

- I'll tell you in detail.
- Are you okay?

I just banged my knee, the one
from high school. I'm fine, but...

He wasn't wearing a belt.

Where are you, St. Clare's?

Listen, they're gonna call Kelli
if they haven't already and...

Just get Al and Rita on the phone
and get them started over there.

All right, all right.
Oh my God, Tony, he's dead?

Yeah.

All right. Let me get dressed.

Thank you.

Mr. Tony, Mr. Sil is here.

Okay.

Mrs. Carmela say
you should stay in bed.

- Have him come up.
- We're right here, Ton.

We came as soon as we heard.

- Ton.
- Patsy went to Chrissy's mom's house.

- Yeah, that's where Carmela is.
- Carlo's coming up.

Yeah.

- How you doing, Ton?
- My knee got banged up.

They said it's probably
gonna be okay.

You know,
last thing I remember was...

pulling away from Phil.

Skid marks all over the place,
the cops told Carm.

He had a heavy foot,
that kid, always.

Almost put me through
a billboard one time.

- Hey, Ton.
- Come on in.

I'm so sorry, Ton.
I still can't believe it.

- Thanks. I know you two were close.
- I was making my collections...

and Anthony Maffei called me.
Jesus.

There's Carlo, I bet.

Fucking idiot didn't have
his seat belt on.

His chest filled up.

Suffocated on his own blood.

- Oh, Jesus.
- Jesus Christ.

Seems like that's the cause of death.

It's not Carlo. I heard A.J.

Carlo's coming up?

What's with you
and Carlo's fucking arrival?

- I'm just saying.
- They're gonna do...

a full blood test on him.

See, you know...

if alcohol...

drugs or...
It did occur to me.

- He didn't seem high, did he?
- Are you kidding?

I would have been furious.
I would have fucking strangled him.

He'd been working the program
ever since...

he threw Little Paulie
out that window.

Let's not go there.

Even before that,
he was battling that shit.

- He gave it his all.
- Well, anyway, he's gone now...

our Chrissy.

Crazy fucking maniac.

The thing to take to heart, T,
you're here. You're all right.

You could have been killed,
for fuck's sake.

What are you gonna do?

Thanks.

- What are you doing?
- No, no, no, I gotta try and get up.

I gotta go and meet Carm
over at Chrissy's...

with Kelli and all that.

I'll make you a plate.

- Get me a Scotch.
- Are you serious?

Yeah, and have one yourself.

They were close, the two cousins.

You all right?

I know I had my differences
with that kid...

but maybe I didn't
do right by him, neither.

If you were his dad,
I was his Dutch uncle...

and what the fuck
did I do but get pissed off...

fight with him over
cock-sucking fucking money?

I'd break his balls when he tried
not to have a drink...

or a little taste of snow.

It's over, Paulie.

Gets it up. And that was blocked.
Gets it back.

Did anybody
ever hear from the hospital?

I was waiting till Kelli woke up.

They found cocaine in his blood.

Cause of death was a hemothorax.

Yeah, airbags can crush the ribs
when there's no other restraint.

They said he might have made it,
but he didn't.

Couldn't have worn
his goddamn seat belt?

- No wonder. He was wackadoo.
- AI, stop it.

Baloney. He leaves
our granddaughter fatherless.

- My only child!
- Drinking won't help, honey.

Jesus Christ.

Look at this. Syracuse is losing.

I don't know what to say.

- What?
- I just got a call from Little Paulie.

Nucci Gualtieri died.

Stroke on the bus back to the home.

They had gone to see Jersey Boys.

This is difficult.

This is pain...

like I'm not used to.

We've said before
he was like a son in some ways.

To see him die like that...

practically in my arms.

He was just starting his life.

Yeah.

You know what?

- This is bullshit.
- What?

I haven't been able
to tell anybody this, but...

I'm fucking relieved.

Really?

He was a tremendous drag
on my emotions, on my...

thoughts about the future.

Every morning I wake up thinking:

"Is today the day
one of my best friends...

is gonna dime me to the FBI?"

And a weak, fucking sniveling...

lying drug addict?
That's the worst kind of bet.

The biggest blunder of my career
is now gone.

And I don't have to be confronted
by that fact no more.

And as a relative, a friend...

someone you can count on...

I see.

Let me tell you something.

I've murdered friends before,
even relatives...

My cousin Tony...

my best friend, Puss.

But this?

Was I talking in my sleep?

Snoring.

I'm gonna put on the TV
if you don't mind.

I can't stay asleep either. I'm all...

I mean, I can laugh and cry,
and I could always get the part.

- First time?
- First time. Never could keep it.

They got onto me after a while.

I'd lose my voice,
fall down, get red in the face...

talk too fast and couldn't act.

Can you make me a cappuccino?

That fucking machine from Paulie,
you need a pilot's license.

It's so hard not to think
of Christopher as a child, isn't it?

Caity kind of looks like him,
which makes it doubly hard.

Of course that's not gonna
do her any favors...

when she hits puberty,
that schnoz.

A lot of women
found him very attractive.

I think to myself:

How could I have ever said
those things about him...

about him and Adriana,
what her mother said he did to her?

Obviously he was violent as an adult,
his upbringing, but he adored Ade.

He could never let himself take her life.

Why are we so quick to blame?
What is the attraction in that?

It's good. Thank you.

When I called you...

the night after the accident,
and you asked me:

"Oh my God, Tony, he's dead?"

Yeah.

And I thought...

Well, I thought
I picked up a twinge of...

relief.
What?

It just seemed like... I don't know...

How could you say that?
You don't know what you're saying.

Okay, good, I'm wrong.

If you did pick up something like that,
maybe it's because I was relieved...

that it was him and not you.

Well, don't feel bad about that.
That makes sense.

To be going down to the hospital again
at 2 in the morning?

And you know what?
When you were shot...

it was Christopher who held me.

You know the baby's car seat?

A giant tree branch
came through the window...

and demolished it.

She would have been dead, Caitlin...

mangled beyond recognition.

I told her about the baby seat
so she wouldn't feel so rotten.

He was high as a fucking kite.
I didn't tell her that.

In retrospect,
maybe not the best approach.

Right, I'm the asshole again.

What?

No, go ahead.

It's amazing how things work.

His mother, my cousin Joanne...

a lush.

Totally abandoned him as a parent...

but now she's reaping
all the sympathy and the tears.

How are you doing, Anthony?

There have been
some hard moments.

But a weak, lying drug addict...

who fantasized
about my downfall...

who showed people
his filthy thoughts...

on a movie screen?

Let me tell you something.
I've seen friends die before...

accidents...

even murder.

My cousin Tony,
they shot his face away.

And I was fucking prostate with grief.

But this?

I see.

And it occurs to me,
I hand-carried this kid...

through the worst crisis
he ever had.

I can't go into particulars, but...

wives, girlfriends...

they can complicate life
in a major way.

I don't have to tell you that.

Anyway, huge problem
of his own making.

And he cried.
He couldn't deal with it.

So I took up the slack. I handled it.

I felt sorry for him.

Now he talked gratitude...

but guess what pity produces in
the recipient. They shit on your pity.

And that's what broke
the camel's back.

How are you handling all this?

The worst part, truthfully...

is I gotta sit there
with people who are hurting.

Bad.

And I gotta have the long face...

and the sighing and the platitudes.

But I don't feel it.

Then that makes me feel
like a hypocrite.

And that makes me mad at them.

Oh, hi.

How are you?

Julianna Skiffle,
this is my wife, Carmela Soprano.

- Skiff.
- Oh, yeah, right.

Julianna's a real estate agent
in the old neighborhood.

And you knew Christopher?

I used to buy my meat at Satriale's.

I'm a recovering addict.

- I owe him a lot.
- That's nice to hear.

- Well, what are you gonna do, huh?
- Nothing you can do.

- That's my point.
- He was too young.

Good-looking woman.

They did a beautiful job on him.

Oh, I'm gonna go up.

I'll go up later.

Give my seat to someone
in the meantime.

How are you doing?

- It's tough.
- Yeah.

He loved you so much.

- Yeah?
- Well, you know he did.

Okay.

I'll go up later.

There she is, 3 to 5, 7 to 9.

- Why do they call her that?
- She never misses a wake.

- Oh, Lord!
- Fucking James Brown now.

I'm serious. I can't take it.

It's all right. We're here for you.

Oh, my God. Look at this.

- Like a movie star.
- Jackie Kennedy.

- I'm sorry for the loss of your cousin.
- Thanks.

Me too, bro, me too.

He was a good guy.

Hey, don't let this linger
on your head now.

You know what I'm talking about.

You know, that night...

a tree limb came in
through the car window...

completely destroyed the baby seat.

Tony.

You guys are gonna
hang in a while, right?

We really should make an appearance
at the other wake.

- Are we that late?
- No.

Glad you came.

- He'll appreciate it.
- Oh, please.

I gotta get out of here.

- Paul.
- Ton.

- Thanks for coming.
- Paul.

We are so sorry for your loss, Paulie.

- How you hanging in, Paoluccio?
- As well as can be expected.

Must be very hard for you. I know how
close the two of you had become again.

Yeah. Not much of a sendoff here.

- The room is beautiful, Paulie.
- Nobody's in it.

What kind of testament is this to
the spirit and generosity of the woman?

We're here for you, Paulie.

You know that.

Okay.

It's a fundamental lack of respect
and I'm never gonna forget it, neither.

Jesus, people your mother's age,
their friends die off.

What, she outlived Sil? Carlo?
They're all over there at your nephew's.

- Yeah, but...
- Councilman Carillo...

was here three minutes.
I clocked him.

He told Gerry
he was going to the Moltisanti wake.

People are coming,
and if they don't, fuck them.

I got 500 prayer cards.

Well, Carm and I are here.
What the fuck is that? Nothing?

No, Ton, of course not.

- It means the world.
- Okay.

She suffered too, you know.

Yeah, well, this isn't
the time or the place.

You're right.

How have you been dealing with it?

It's really sad but it's kind of
the same as with Blanca.

I don't really just keep
thinking about things the way I did...

over and over, you know?

Well, for one thing,
perhaps the meds are working.

- Did you finally enroll?
- I'm in a few classes.

Unofficially, until my transcript
clears from Ramapo.

Beginning English.

Oh, and I went to a class...

on the history
of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict.

It's hard to pick up in the middle.
I might take it next semester.

I mean, it's so dicked-up over there...

and no one knows who started it.

- Are you sleeping?
- What? In class?

No. You were having trouble,
remember?

Wellbutrin XL kicks ass.

I'm hearing good things
about the Lexapro.

Check it, paisan.
Long John Shithead.

That kid's in my
South American Lit class.

He had his toes amputated.

Said it was an accident
with his car battery.

Acid burned right through his shoe.

Oh, you little sfogliatella.

- She should nurse.
- Okay.

At least somebody feels like eating.

She doesn't know.

Isn't God wonderful that way?

- Hello?
- Alan, it's Tony. You busy?

Usual shit. Some Japanese guy
got his suit ruined at Cirque du Soleil.

- Listen, I need a suite.
- So all the guys coming out?

No. No, I'm solo.

We'll see what
we can do about that.

Look, I just wanna be alone,
peace and quiet...

chill out.
You set for transpo?

I'll be happy to send a plane.

No more bets.

Thirty-three, black, odd.

No more bets.

Five, red, odd.

It's hard to imagine for a poet...

but Wordsworth was
as rich and popular...

as, say, someone like...

John Grisham nowadays.

But Wordsworth writes:

"The world is too much with us."

Later, he invokes nature again.

Why such strong words
against the material world?

That was fast.

The gatehouse usually gives shitty
directions to the east tower. Come in.

So...

You're a friend of Chris.

Yeah. Tony, by the way.

No, I know.
He's mentioned you, actually.

Well, I heard nothing
but nice things about you.

Except...

you're more beautiful
than he let on.

- Really?
- Talked about you...

a few times, told me
more than once to look you up.

Did he?

Well, well, well.

You want a drink or something?
I got some pinot grigio in the fridge.

I got some...

serious news.

It's about Christopher.

- He's dead.
- What?

It was a car accident.
It happened a couple days ago.

Oh, my God.

- That's fucking awful.
- I'm sorry.

- What happened?
- Bad wreck...

high-speed...

He was killed instantly.

Somehow, I walked away.

Jesus, that must have been scary.

The fucking sound alone...

Did he ever...

marry that one girl,
the one who left him?

No.

Found a real sweetheart,
though, Kelli, and...

- They just had a baby girl.
- Maybe that's good, you know?

I mean, bad that he left her...

but good that he...
He left something.

Well, I thought you should know.

Well...

Extremely cool, you coming over here.
I appreciate that.

- How long you here for?
- I don't know.

Just play it as I go.

- What's up?
- It's Stefano.

Look, I'm sorry to bother you,
but I'm here at the school.

The asbestos, it's backing up.
I gotta dump this shit.

It's not wrapped to code
and all the other violations...

- Yeah?
- I could get nailed bigtime.

We're working on it, John.
I'm trying to negotiate it out...

but the asshole's taking a hard line
for now. Just hang in there.

- Let me do my thing.
- All right.

- Jeff'll clean it up.
- We'll make him clean it in bare feet.

I got the venison steaks!

What the fuck? You blind?

Me? You open the door,
you don't look at all.

Shit, you wrecked my fucking door.

You did that to your own door!

What the fuck you say?

I said he opened the door,
he don't look at all.

Look at my fucking bike!

- Dude, you hear this guy?
- You saw it!

Fuck you, nigger.

I am not a nigger!

I am from Somalia!
I go to school and I work!

Do not call me a nigger!

So you're some
terrorist piece of shit.

Either way, motherfucker,
you're in the wrong neighborhood.

Get the fuck away!

You a tough nigger now?

You got something to say?

Cocksucker!

Do you mind?

No, knock yourself out.

This is the...

This is the new shit...

medical-grade, mellow...

paranoia-free.

Well, that's good.

Chris loved to party.

What's your point?

Nothing. You just...

remind me of him, obviously.

What's that mean? I fuck like him?

So much for paranoia-free.

No, you were his friend, that's all.

Why would you bring him up?

All I'm saying...

is that there's a certain kind of guy
that I don't run into on campus.

But where I dance...

That accent, the clothes.

I'm a type?

This coming from a girl who's
stripping her way through college?

Actually, you're a surprise.

Chris sometimes talked about some
sad shit, but you seem... I don't know.

Actually sad.

Not right now I'm not.

Jesus, this is some
pretty fucking amazing dope.

Chris said you two...

took peyote together.

Yeah.

I mean, I haven't done buttons
in a while, though.

You know, I've been thinking
why the fuck I'm here.

You can get to that place.

No. No, I mean Vegas.

Truth is I always wanted
to try that shit...

but I always had
all the responsibilities.

You're a hard man to reach.

Nobody's seen hide nor hair.

Yeah, I'm away.
What do you want?

What do I want?
I'm returning your call.

I think this got
nothing to do with asbestos.

Why not let go of the old shit,
be a businessman?

- You got everything you want.
- Not everything.

But listen, allow me
to express my condolences...

regarding your nephew.

This is me hanging up.

- I can tell you're upset.
- Big fucking deal.

- What exactly happened this week?
- Nothing.

You know, people walk around
like this is all something.

They're fucking laughing...

and nobody takes even one second
to think about what's really going on.

- You sound depressed again.
- How can anybody not be?

You'd have to be fucking nuts
not to be.

I mean, you'd have to have
your head wedged so far...

up your ass that all you could see
is your own stupid face.

What specifically
are you talking about?

I mean, everything is so fucked up.

I mean, why can't we all
just get along?

You don't have to chew it.

You just wash it down like a pill.

It's the same principle
as the solar system.

No more bets.

- Twenty-four.
- Yes.

Nice.

Press it all.

No more bets.

Twenty.

Holy fucking shit.

- Here.
- Much appreciated.

No more bets.

Twenty-four again.

- He's dead.
- What?

What?

What?

I get it.

I get it!