The Sopranos (1999–2007): Season 5, Episode 2 - Rat Pack - full transcript
Carmine's passing opens new wounds, while cousin Tony wants to put his past behind him. Tony Soprano, meanwhile, discovers a traitor.
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There he is.
Black Jack Massarone.
I saw this
and I thought of you.
- Ho, look at that!
- Guy's local.
He makes them as part of a program
for disabled vets.
A little gift
to show my gratitude
for all our work
together.
Thanks.
- Look at those guys, huh?
- Mmm.
They had some times, huh?
You know we're finally
gonna cut the ribbon
for the museum
on the 22nd.
They're gonna ask me to make
a little speech
on the challenges of contemporary
urban development.
Thank you.
- Somethin' for you?
- Oh, um...
I'll have what
he's having.
Listen, my buddy
in city plan check
says he just pulled
a permit
to turn the old bus station
into a mixed use.
The thing is, Zellman still hasn't
given me a number.
Has he said anything
to you about another bid?
Oh, we don't
talk much.
Take your hat off.
Relax.
Yeah, I just started
on the Rogaine.
Listen, you think maybe
you could ask Ron
if this falls under
the same arrangement?
Kinda soggy, you
wanna know the truth.
Tony, this is federal
redevelopment.
I'll look into it.
- So, a speech, huh?
- Yeah.
The Museum of Science
and Truckin'.
I just wish my mother
could've seen it.
Well, wherever she is,
I'm sure she's proud.
Actually, I think I know
exactly where she is
and it's pretty
fuckin' hot.
You had one of those,
too, huh?
Gentlemen.
Is everything
okay here?
Yeah, sure.
Just talkin'.
Okay then.
Have a good night.
So they go through labor.
Big deal.
Try a prostate exam.
This is great.
And I usually don't
like modern art.
The Rat Pack.
Do you know
a Joseph "Joey" Cogo?
Not much, I mean,
I met him...
last week.
Me and Chrissy
were havin' dinner
with Tony and his
friend, Valentina.
Joey Cogo sent over
a bottle of Veuve.
Wanna show
her those?
Oh my God.
Was this man
with him?
Yeah.
I saw him.
- You're sure?
- Tuesday night.
Jesus, 'cause
of what I said?
You're supposed
to be earners.
That's why you got
the top tier positions.
So each one of ya go out
to your people on the street,
crack some fuckin'...
Create some fuckin' earners out there!
So, what's he sayin'?
The way I remember
he said,
"That's why you got
the top tier positions. "
This other inaudible
is "Crack fuckin' heads,"
not legs.
I need a signature.
Now that's it.
That's all I gotta say.
Frankly,
I'm depressed and...
Depressed and what?
"Depressed
and ashamed. "
So what about my Alan Stewart
shirt from that meeting?
Ralph Cifaretto spilt
my coffee and ruined it.
I can petty cash it.
Resubmit, okay?
This Crazy Horse pole camera's
working out really good.
Paulie Gualtieri's car again.
She's still lying.
Listen, any chance
you could ask Ron
if this falls under
the same arrangement?
It's kinda soggy, you
wanna know the truth.
- Pie. He was eating.
- Tony, this is federal redevelopment.
I'll look into it.
- So a speech, huh?
- The sound quality is amazing.
New hats. Mic's right
in the button.
Museum of Science
and Truckin'.
I just wish my mother
could've seen it.
Give it to Angela
and shut the door.
Wherever she is,
I'm sure she's proud.
What happened to the jury
tampering investigation
- on Junior Soprano's trial?
- Actually, I...
You guys just drop
the ball on that?
Massarone's
a huge asset.
- Couple him with...
- What? Three-year-old airline tickets?
Some ties to
the Bevelaqua murder?
Even if Massarone
and 1,000 other
snitches pan out,
we've still gotta
put Tony on trial.
That's useless
until we find out how
they penetrated
the anonymous jury system.
And what? Jury duty's
not tough enough?
You know we don't like
to dig into some citizen.
Tough shit. One of those
citizens is a felon.
Get on it.
You know what's
goin' on here, right?
He fucked up his six-figure future
with O'Melveny & Meyers
when he blew
the Junior Soprano trial.
Of course he'll keep tryin'
him until he fixes that.
- Hey!
- Hey.
There he is,
John Barrymore.
- How are ya?
- All right.
I thought nobody
ever comes to see you.
I was droppin' off
some dandelions.
Saw a beautiful patch
in a vacant lot over by 15th Street.
- Nice salad.
- Any word about Tony B?
Yeah, yeah,
should be any day now.
Aunt Quintina's gonna call
the moment she hears.
He's a good kid,
your cousin, huh? Smart.
Fuckin' weirdo,
you ask me.
All right, the vacant lot
over on 15th Street?
That's where all the neighborhood
dogs go to piss.
You goddamn clown.
You got anything
lined up for the kid?
Yeah, yeah, air-bags.
We pull 'em
from boosted cars.
People buy 'em
like you wouldn't fuckin' believe.
Hey, legit dealers,
body shops...
they reinstall
undeployed bags as new.
Top dollar.
Brave new world.
Jesus Christ, they didn't even have
shoulder belts when I went away.
So you'll let me know
when the kid gets out, huh?
Yeah, we'll have
a party for him.
- I love you, okay.
- All right.
Come on, eat.
Don't be so sensitive.
I was bein' polite.
It's like... it's like eatin' red fescue.
I'll take an egg.
You want an egg?
Bobby, make
my nephew an egg.
I don't want an egg.
Tony B.
Like a welcome
home present.
- What's that, a Motorola?
- Yeah.
Supposed to be
the best.
You know, I figured
he could use one.
Call me when
he needs me.
All the fellas
are gettin' out, huh?
The class of 2004.
Old rats
on a new ship.
I think I'll take
an egg.
Make us
a couple eggs.
I'm doin' it. You told me.
He don't want one.
- You and Tony Egg again.
- Tony Egg? Tony B.
Like the time you two,
you took that camera in the bathroom
at your sister Barbara's
confirmation.
Hello?
Oh, that's terrible.
Where is he gonna
be laid out?
Who now?
God damn it!
Well, let us know.
Carmine Lupertazzi.
He passed
during the night.
What a fuckin' blow.
He was a great man.
My cousin told me it was Carmine
who invented point shaving.
C.C.N.Y. versus
Kentucky, 1951.
Nobody beat the spread.
I bought a black Fleetwood.
Anthony. Anthony, did I ever tell you
I want to be cremated?
About four times.
And don't throw my ashes
in somebody's yard
or off some
fuckin' bridge.
I wanna be on the mantelpiece
surrounded by family.
Yeah, under the moose head,
I know.
Keep jokin'. Let me
tell ya somethin'.
It's like that game
we used to play as kids...
crack the whip.
You run around like
an idiot holdin' hands
as tight as you can
and then the line snaps,
somebody lets go
and you're next.
Your father meant
a lot to all of us.
And not just
financially either.
How are ya?
What's up, buddy?
Nicole...
- you remember Mr. Petrille?
- What, honey?
He meant a lot to us.
- Ginny.
- Phil, how ya doin'?
- Hey, kid.
- Angelo.
I'm heartbroken.
- Nicole, you remember Mr. Garepe.
- Of course.
That was my aunt.
My cousin's out.
Aw, that's great news.
Start him off
small, T.
You hear that?
Your cousin's out.
- Oh, look who's comin'.
- What?
- Hey there, handsome.
- Hey, baby.
- How are ya?
- Good.
Lorraine,
you're lookin' good.
Yeah, keepin' it together
with pilates and gin.
Sil, Paulie,
how's it hangin'?
Still got the nice
manners, huh?
Ah,
this is my
nephew Christopher.
Lady Shylock,
you got some reputation.
Yeah, my mother said
that might happen.
I'd like to introduce you
to the love of my life.
This is my partner
Jason Evanina.
- Honor to meet ya.
- Hey, how are ya?
So Jesus leans off the cross
and whispers to Peter,
"I can see your house
from here. "
I'm so sorry.
This was such a shock.
- This is a very hard day.
- I just saw Ginny.
The flowers
are beautiful.
- John, got a minute?
- Yeah.
Nicole, I'm sorry.
What's goin'
on here?
- What are you talkin' about?
- My father.
Look at his hands.
- He looks peaceful.
- I'm talkin' about his rosary.
The medal?
You think I don't
know what that is?
It's for Opus Dei.
The fuck
is that about?
In his later years,
your father was very sensitive about
- what's been goin' on in the church.
- Bullshit!
Your wife is into
Opus Dei.
You told Colombino
to put it there.
- You sure about that?
- Yes, John, I'm sure.
Body's not even cold.
No respect
for anything anymore.
And New Jersey housewife
fundamentalist shit?
I doubt it, John.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
You yourself said
I was like another son to him.
I was bein' polite.
It was his deathbed.
I should've written
those words down.
Maybe you should have,
'cause they don't mean anything anymore.
You understand
what I'm sayin'?
I saw a huge
mushroom cloud
from the shell.
Jim Campbell
might be alive today
if he hadn't said to me,
"Heffron, you stay
here with your gun.
I'm going up. "
All your life, you gotta remember
what one guy did
because he thought
it was his job to do
and he took
a shot for you.
This shit's not supposed
to run and here I look like a raccoon.
You are irresistible
and you know it.
Danny said I was clingy.
Fuck him. He's the one
with self-esteem issues.
You don't know what
it's like out there, Ade.
You're marrying
Christopher.
He's handsome, makes money,
he's got great hair.
Oh...
Okay.
You know I love animals,
but this thing is so gorgeous.
Isn't it? My dad
almost had a stroke.
But I told him,
"Hey, asshole,
I'm the one taking
all the fucking risk here.
I have to fake
the invoices. "
Sometimes you gotta just take care
of yourself, you know?
Sure you do, honey.
Come here.
- Oh.
- Mmm.
Come on. Let's don't
keep your date waiting.
He likes you,
I can tell.
We got a white
wine for Ade.
That's another
apple martini for you.
Thank you, my dear.
My Seven-and-7,
and nothing-and-nothing.
Don't listen to him,
Chrissy.
I think what you're
doing's brave.
It's not for everybody.
Things are different
when you don't have
that crutch, you know?
We make up for it
other ways.
My God,
it's hot in here.
What do you expect?
You're dancing in a mink coat.
It's fox.
She's my fox
in a box.
Let's see her box,
or maybe her socks.
Stupid.
Well, I have to wear fur
on the outside on account
of being bare
everywhere else.
- You believe this one?
- No shit.
Every place I go,
I got substances
I can't enjoy
shoved in my face.
But I guess asking you
for a little support system
in my own home
is way the fuck outta line.
You gotta have
some more wine.
Seemed to have
a good time tonight.
What the fuck
you talking about?
What, Tina?
Come on, that cunt's
too full of herself, anyway.
Cunt? She's my maid
of honor, Christopher.
She's no fucking maid,
let me tell you.
Great, now I'm upset.
See what
I'm talking about?
But I guess
it's all my problem.
I'm sorry, baby.
Okay?
Please, stop.
All right, all right.
My handsome nephew.
Auntie Quin, look at you
all dolled up, huh?
I never thought I'd live
to see this day.
Well, here ya are,
still here.
Where's Tony?
Downstairs getting
into one of his old suits.
- I'll buy him some new suits.
- He's fine.
I only wish he had more
to come back to.
That ex-wife of his...
she uses her
answering machine
to ignore me, so forget about
his seeing the twins.
How's Kelly?
How's she doing?
Well, she's lost
to us, Anthony.
But Tony says
he's gonna hire
a detective.
Look at this.
The two of you
were so cute.
Even then, my cannoli
was bigger than his.
Ooh, stop.
Aw, man.
There he is.
Ah.
God, Ton'.
Look at us.
- 15 fucking years.
- The language.
Go ahead say it.
I haven't changed a bit, right?
You look good,
you look good.
Say "provolone. "
Surprise!
Shit.
Very nice, you give me
a heart attack.
Ma, it's enough,
all right?
Stop crying.
I'm embarrassed enough.
I don't know
what to say.
Don't say anything.
Just eat.
- Oh, hey!
- Ha!
I got peppers been
marinating for 15 years!
Hey.
- What?
- Where's Tubs?
- Artie?
- Yo.
- What happened here?
- Still a ball-breaker, huh?
What the fuck's
with him?
Ask him.
You guys
have a beef?
I loaned the guy some money
then he tried to kill himself.
And guess
who got the blame?
Oh my God, Tony.
My God, we have
all missed you so much.
I swear, you look
exactly the same.
Oh, you're still
full of shit, huh?
Is Nancy here yet?
The twins?
No, Nancy
couldn't make it.
Her aunt in Bayonne,
the sciatica.
- What are you gonna do?
- Cousin!
Jan.
Come, come, I want you
to meet my family.
I'm talking
to him right now.
- Tony, you remember Bobby.
- Oh, yeah.
- Good to see you.
- Now my husband.
And guys, this is your
Uncle Tony Blundetto.
Hey, there.
How come we never
met you before?
I've been away
on business.
I've never even
heard of you.
Stop playing
with your ice, come on.
They let that kid
say anything.
- Welcome home, Uncle Tony.
- Oh, Jesus.
This is Meadow.
God, you turned out
beautiful, honey.
And this strapping
young man is Anthony Jr.
How's Kelly?
Our regular dinner,
out by you Thursday, right?
Yes, Daddy.
See with my family
now, you know, the separation,
you gotta make an appointment
to see each other.
I should go see
Uncle Zio.
- Yeah.
- All right.
- Show him the phone!
- Yeah.
Tony.
I'll make this fast
'cause I know you're all hungry.
I remember growing up,
I was always asking
why I just used
to have sisters.
I said to my mother, I said,
"Can't you save up something
and then get me
a baby brother?"
And my mother said,
"What's wrong with your cousin Tony?"
And she was right,
'cause we were brothers.
Except, you know,
we had the same name.
There was like 50 Tonys
in the family.
Some of you remember this.
My dad's name was Johnny
and his dad's name
was Alfred.
And so whenever we were out
running around and we'd hear
"Tony Uncle Johnny,"
that was for me.
And "Tony Uncle Al,"
that was for him.
And there was
"Tony Uncle Philly!"
- Remember?
- Right, yeah, yeah.
But he passed away...
buon' anima.
And Uncle Phil...
Uncle Phil, he passed away
a long time ago, too.
So...
anyway.
Tony's being away
has been hard.
But he's back now,
for good.
So welcome home.
- Welcome home.
- Thank you.
Salut.
Come on, let me hear it.
Welcome home!
Welcome home!
Tony, Meadow is incredible.
She's a fucking Ivy Leaguer.
- You and Carm hit a home run.
- Yeah.
I'm sure Kelly's all right,
wherever she is.
Hey, her old man
was in prison.
We tried to do
everything we could.
I wasn't around.
What could I expect?
If things had gone different
way back when, who knows?
- What do you want from me?
- Nothing!
I'm just saying it's good
it wasn't both of us.
These things
happen, right?
You're gonna like this place.
This is nice.
This is the kind of place we always
talked about having.
Fucking weird.
My cousin
in the old man's seat.
It's like
Sun Tizzu says...
"A good commander
is benevolent
and unconcerned
with fame. "
- What?
- Sun Tizzu.
The Chinese
Prince Machiavelli.
Tony turned me
on to him.
Tzu, Tzu!
Sun Tzu, you
fucking ass-kiss.
Hey.
Feech!
You know I missed you
by two weeks at Allenwood.
This'll help
you get started.
Jesus, you're on
your feet already?
You hit the ground running
and you don't look back, huh?
Thank you.
Come on.
So you in on the bus
station project?
Massarone's waiting
on a number.
- How's he doing?
- Good.
We had coffee.
He used to bore me,
Jack.
But he ain't a bad guy
once you get to know him.
I always liked him.
I was very touched
by that funeral the other day.
- Real heart-grabber.
- That fucking little Carmine.
And after what?
Five years in Florida
fixing wet t-shirt
contests.
M'boy are you fat.
What did you say?
Reginald
Van Gleason III.
"M'boy are you fat. "
That's good, yeah.
Oh!
So I got some ideas,
you know, for you.
Get you on your feet.
Unless, of course, you already know
what you wanna do.
- Thanks.
- You're welcome.
- Well, yeah. I kinda got an idea.
- Yeah?
Like four years in I got
moved to Springfield.
You know, where they got
the big prison hospital.
It's mostly stab wounds,
detox.
Anyway, this guy I knew from Elkton,
he was telling me
how I could be
an orderly, you know?
And how it's easy
time and all.
Well, you know,
so then you're the guy
that hooks everybody up.
That's smart.
Yeah, but it wasn't
business for me.
I mean I really got
into this shit.
Rehab block had guys
with broken limbs, muscle diseases
and we'd help
them back.
So, I think this might
be a thing I can do.
I got my associate's
degree already.
Took me five years.
And now it's only
like six months more
for my massage license.
So you wanna run
a massage parlor?
No.
I'm gonna be a licensed
massage therapist.
Look, I've been away
from all this a long time.
I mean if I got
a shot at staying out
and putting shit together,
I should take it.
Oh.
'Cause I was thinking,
you know,
I got this air-bag
thing going...
Oh, Tony, thanks,
but...
I mean it's
a really nice offer,
but I need regular work
until I'm certified.
Just regular work.
Well, I guess I know
this guy looking for...
a delivery man
for his linen fleet.
- Bobby Gociletto?
- No, no, no, Koreans.
You know, I don't got
my driver's license.
So you'll go to my guy
at the DMV.
As far as the union shit,
I can take care of that.
Wow, Tony.
Thanks.
Thank you.
- You're the best, you know that?
- Yeah, yeah.
- Out.
- Why?
Because we are watching
a movie and you are studying.
And why must we keep
having that conversation?
Here it is. #1 on the American
Film Institute's
Greatest American
Movies list.
- "Citizen Kane. "
- Jesus, it's black and white.
That is what film club is all about...
trying new things.
Now, to give us
some background,
let's see what
Leonard Maltin has to say.
"A film that broke all the rules
and invented some new ones.
The cinematography, music
and Oscar-winning screenplay
by Welles and Herman
J- something are all first rate. "
- Wow.
- So it was a sled, huh?
He should've
told somebody.
I think it's fascinating
the man had all that stuff,
but he died alone
with nothing and nobody.
Good.
Prick.
I hated it.
"You supply the war.
I'll supply the headlines. "
How conceited.
There was
the cinematography.
Yeah, that
was very good.
- Oh my God.
- What?
I saw Laura Basi
in the dressing room at Loehmann's.
Definitely
had some work.
D- cup at least
and a lift.
Well, she said she was
remodeling her upstairs.
But I had no idea.
So, Carm,
how you doing?
I'm okay.
My lawyer, he's a top guy...
Robert Greenberg.
He says that New Jersey
has this equitable
distribution law.
So apparently 20 years entitles me
to at least half his money.
Well, it should.
You made Tony a home,
you raised his children.
Does this guy know
how to get it?
Well, it's mostly
cash, obviously.
God, all those years
and you could get nothing.
This other lawyer, Dan Minditch
says that we should play hardball.
You know, go after
the real assets.
Marriage is beautiful
in the beginning,
but two,
three years later?
You'd think there'd be
some romance at least.
Janice, you're
a newlywed.
I know. Six months and Bobby
still hasn't found my rosebud.
Maybe he should
hire a reporter.
So the movie's over
and they all start talking
about their marriages
and how miserable they are.
Bitterness.
So besides
the movie night?
- You have kids?
- No.
So did you attend
Carmine Lupertazzi's funeral?
I didn't know him.
Movie night
was fun, though.
Who was there
at the Tony Blundetto homecoming?
I told you,
just family.
God, is that all you think about
is your fucking work?
You don't care how
I feel about anything.
Okay.
I was married
to an agent.
What happened?
Did he cheat on you?
While we were trying
to get pregnant
he climbed right over me
to become an assistant supervisor
on the Milken
task force.
Moved to Los Angeles and jumped
a pay grade without me.
My God, that's terrible.
So where were we?
What am I doing?
I can't talk to you.
I can't even talk to Christopher
and he's my soul mate
for God's sake.
I can't talk
to my friends.
I am being ripped
apart here
just snitching
on people.
For what? What do
I get out of it?
Take some comfort in the fact
that you're trying to do the right thing
- by helping your government.
- No, seriously.
For me, it was when
I was in college.
My sister's
boyfriend Kyle
traded our TV
for six handguns.
He sold five
to a high school kid
then used the last one
to open a coconut.
The ricochet left
my sister a paraplegic.
I knew I had to do something
about guys like him.
And nowhere but the FBI
is the line clearer
between the good guys
and the bad guys.
And you're with
the good guys now.
Wow.
Jesus.
- Hey.
- TB.
I didn't call
for no linen delivery.
What do I find
at the pork store?
A bunch of guys
beating the meat.
- Wanna deal me in?
- Absolutely.
Stakes might be
a little high for you.
You know you can't
pay us in napkins.
You got to let that dry
before you put on a second coat?
Fucking Grandpa
Munster over here.
Oh!
You gonna deal those?
They're not candy bars.
You can let
some of 'em go.
What the fuck's that for?
Drying shirts?
It's a Tao master
massage chair.
I had no idea
I was so tense.
It's like my back
is on vacation.
Well, it could
definitely use one.
What the fuck
is this?
Hey T, you gotta
try this.
He's really
fucking good.
Nothing like being
in the joint
to teach you how to ease
another man's tensions.
Jesus Christ,
I'm gone for one hour.
All of a sudden it turns
into a fucking slumber party.
Somebody woke up
on the wrong side of the bed.
Could I talk
to you a minute?
None of your
fucking business
which side of the bed
I wake up on.
Jesus, it's just
an expression.
Bullshit. Don't tell me you don't know
what I'm talking about.
All that Reggie Van Gleason,
"M'boy are you fat. "
Things have changed
around here.
I'm the boss
of this fucking family.
You're crowding me.
You don't make fun of me.
Got it?
Got it.
And knock off
the massage shit.
It's a place of business,
not a Jack LaLanne.
You gotta
declare all that?
Most of it, anyway.
Well, if you had
a good bookkeeper...
Hey, you got change?
Been fucking sliding
this stupid bill in and out
of the cigarette machine
for like an hour.
An hour?
I bet you can go longer than that.
Listen to you.
Why do you always
talk like a whore?
Because men like it.
Yeah?
I think you're
right about that.
I'm telling you I'm
having a fucking time.
Stay out late, come home drunk,
fuck anyone I want.
Yeah, so what's
the difference?
I don't know.
It's a mindset.
Jesus Christ.
Tony, I was hoping you'd be here.
I gotta tell you,
you shouldn't eat up there
in Fairfield no more.
What the fuck
you talking about?
I went to collect
from my cop up there
and he gave me a heads up.
His buddy on the force saw some car
out by Napoleon's Diner
a couple of weeks ago.
And I remembered
how your goomah lives up there.
- Yeah?
- Guy thought maybe they were fags,
but he ran the plate
and it bounced
back a no-hit.
Feds.
Cop said they were
just sitting there in the rain.
They always do that, but I know
it wasn't me they tailed that night
'cause my whole life's
in the fucking rear view.
- Mine, too.
- Absolutely.
It's Massarone.
Aw, Jesus Christ.
If he flipped
I'd be fucked.
We all would.
Well he ain't been
to the grand jury,
because we would have
heard from our girl up there.
They could be just following
him at this point,
see if they could
get anything on him.
Yeah, and eventually
they'll bring him in.
They've turned a lot fucking tougher
guys than Jack Massarone.
You want me
to take care of it?
No, we don't know
shit yet, right?
He did give me that
fucking painting, though.
There was that,
Tony.
Can't a guy be fucking
nice anymore? Friendly?
So what do
you wanna do?
I wanna be absolutely
fucking sure.
That's what
I wanna do.
We arrange a meet.
I'll feel him out a little bit.
I gotta do it.
I know the guy.
I know the way he thinks.
I know the way
he acts.
My old man was very good
at vibing people out, too.
If Massarone's
up to something
I'll pick it up.
You piece of shit.
I don't believe this.
Hold on.
Yeah.
I just wanted to thank you for taking
the components out of the home theater.
Hey, I bought that for us to watch
movies as a family, okay?
Not to entertain
your girlfriends.
I talked to my lawyer about filing
a separation agreement.
I'm not paying
a lawyer.
We should be able to settle
this thing like adults!
Then stop taking shit
out of the house!
- Hey Tony, what's up?
- Let's take a walk.
There he is, huh?
Hey, how you doing?
- Good, good. How are you doing?
- Okay.
- Everything all right?
- Yeah, watch the curb.
Hey, wait a second.
Before you say anything,
have you lost
a little weight?
You think, huh?
I don't know.
Listen, I talked
to our friend.
- The one that celebrates Hanukkah?
- Uh-huh.
- It's in the works.
- Oh great, it's good news.
- Thank you.
- Yeah. Yeah.
So I been meaning
to ask you
you noticed
anything lately?
What are we
talking about?
You weren't followed
here, were you?
No, I...
I don't think so.
I'm... I'm pretty
careful.
All right.
Everything else okay,
good EKG and shit, huh?
- Yeah, I guess.
- All right.
But I gotta tell you,
I don't like what I'm hearing.
Relax.
It's not worth
losing your hair over.
- Right?
- Okay.
All right.
I couldn't tell shit.
What the fuck am I,
a mind reader?
So what's the next
step here, Ton'?
What?
Said I looked like
I lost some weight.
Oh.
The motherfucker.
Yeah?
Hey, whoa, whoa.
Take it easy.
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
hold on.
That Korean... Kim.
Something about your
cousin... I don't know.
Yeah?
It's your fucking
linen truck.
What do you want me
to do about it?
Yeah, yeah, it's okay.
Fire him. Go ahead.
Put him out in the fucking
street for all I care!
If Tony B wants
to pick up some scratch
he could do this Massarone thing...
if it goes.
What the fuck
is wrong with you?!
The man is trying
to go straight.
Don't you give a fuck
about your cousin?!
I'm sorry, T.
You're right.
That was a great party
the other night.
Fuck him.
Guy is fucking
useless to me.
Was that a yes
on Massarone?
Tony's got
his own process.
What's to process here?
Honestly, Carm, this is a lot better
than watching "Casablanca. "
I didn't need to see
that movie again anyway.
Even if it kills Tony,
I will have that system
back for next time.
So what is next
on that list?
Number three...
"The Godfather. "
Look at us. We'll kill ourselves
for these cigarettes.
You know they had
a bear back here?
So how come Angie Bonpensiero
don't come?
Please. She's not
welcome here.
I thought everybody
liked her.
Don't you know
about Pussy?
He went in the program.
He turned on everybody...
us, the people he knew
his whole life.
Who knows why people
do what they do?
But what kind
of person does that?
I mean it's like
Judas or something,
eating that last
supper with Jesus.
And the whole time he knows
they're gonna crucify him.
I mean, at least Judas
didn't go into any
apostle protection
program.
He hung himself.
He knew what he did.
Oh, look at you.
You're shivering.
I didn't know it was
that cold, sweetie.
I'll tell you, I don't know how
I'd be holding up.
It's just...
I guess you all are
really important to me.
Aw, Carm,
you'd do the same.
We love you so much.
Ade, you okay?
What's the matter?
I'm not what you think.
I don't know
what to do.
I need...
I wanna tell you
all something.
It's driving me crazy.
You know you can
tell us anything.
Oh God.
She's been drinking
like crazy.
Where are you going?
Oh, my God!
Ah!
Honey!
I'm fine, okay?
Just leave me alone.
No, you're bleeding.
Let me drive you.
Ton'? It's like 3:00
in the morning.
Yeah, yeah.
I couldn't sleep
so I wanted to see
if the phone worked.
Well, yeah,
it works great.
I'm in my mother's basement
and I can really hear you.
Listen, you should
know that...
that boss there, Kim,
he's after your ass.
I rub him
the wrong way.
Maybe you shouldn't
be a masseuse then.
Oh.
Tony, the reason I called,
about the other day...
look, you can kid
around with me, okay?
But not when the other
guys are there.
I gotta maintain respect.
No, I know.
You're the boss.
Jesus.
See you gotta be careful
what you say on this phone.
It doesn't affect you,
but it affects me.
Right.
I'm sorry.
Is everything
good over there?
You know, my mom's
on my case.
Who'd have thought
we'd both be on our own again?
Well, you can get back together
with Carm if you want.
'Course she thinks
it's up to her
and she goes from zero
to bitch every time
I try to show
any warmth, you know?
That's gotta be tough.
Listen, Tony, I gotta
be up in two hours.
So go to sleep.
But you're my cousin
and my best friend.
You gotta know
we could always talk.
Yeah, well I'll buy
a fucking lunch box.
All right, go to sleep,
go to sleep.
We gotta talk about
my compensation overall.
Interferon for my son's MS?
That's 20 a year now.
Right. You said you
were gonna get us
a making ceremony
which you didn't do.
And here you are
asking for a raise.
Can't you talk
to the higher-ups?
Okay, we made
Vito Spatafore
as running Ralph Cifaretto's
construction business.
Has Chris ever
confirmed that?
- You wanna know something?
- What?
This girl, she's totally
ripping off her employer.
Probably over 100 grand.
What do you mean?
Tina Francesco's
her name.
She's a bookkeeper
for this furniture wholesaler.
So she makes up vendors,
but she writes them real checks.
Then her father cashes them.
Is that a federal crime?
How many checks?
I mean, how much?
Like I said, probably
over 100 grand.
Tina?
Francesco.
The father's
name's Victor.
It's Brettler
& Son's Imports.
---
There he is.
Black Jack Massarone.
I saw this
and I thought of you.
- Ho, look at that!
- Guy's local.
He makes them as part of a program
for disabled vets.
A little gift
to show my gratitude
for all our work
together.
Thanks.
- Look at those guys, huh?
- Mmm.
They had some times, huh?
You know we're finally
gonna cut the ribbon
for the museum
on the 22nd.
They're gonna ask me to make
a little speech
on the challenges of contemporary
urban development.
Thank you.
- Somethin' for you?
- Oh, um...
I'll have what
he's having.
Listen, my buddy
in city plan check
says he just pulled
a permit
to turn the old bus station
into a mixed use.
The thing is, Zellman still hasn't
given me a number.
Has he said anything
to you about another bid?
Oh, we don't
talk much.
Take your hat off.
Relax.
Yeah, I just started
on the Rogaine.
Listen, you think maybe
you could ask Ron
if this falls under
the same arrangement?
Kinda soggy, you
wanna know the truth.
Tony, this is federal
redevelopment.
I'll look into it.
- So, a speech, huh?
- Yeah.
The Museum of Science
and Truckin'.
I just wish my mother
could've seen it.
Well, wherever she is,
I'm sure she's proud.
Actually, I think I know
exactly where she is
and it's pretty
fuckin' hot.
You had one of those,
too, huh?
Gentlemen.
Is everything
okay here?
Yeah, sure.
Just talkin'.
Okay then.
Have a good night.
So they go through labor.
Big deal.
Try a prostate exam.
This is great.
And I usually don't
like modern art.
The Rat Pack.
Do you know
a Joseph "Joey" Cogo?
Not much, I mean,
I met him...
last week.
Me and Chrissy
were havin' dinner
with Tony and his
friend, Valentina.
Joey Cogo sent over
a bottle of Veuve.
Wanna show
her those?
Oh my God.
Was this man
with him?
Yeah.
I saw him.
- You're sure?
- Tuesday night.
Jesus, 'cause
of what I said?
You're supposed
to be earners.
That's why you got
the top tier positions.
So each one of ya go out
to your people on the street,
crack some fuckin'...
Create some fuckin' earners out there!
So, what's he sayin'?
The way I remember
he said,
"That's why you got
the top tier positions. "
This other inaudible
is "Crack fuckin' heads,"
not legs.
I need a signature.
Now that's it.
That's all I gotta say.
Frankly,
I'm depressed and...
Depressed and what?
"Depressed
and ashamed. "
So what about my Alan Stewart
shirt from that meeting?
Ralph Cifaretto spilt
my coffee and ruined it.
I can petty cash it.
Resubmit, okay?
This Crazy Horse pole camera's
working out really good.
Paulie Gualtieri's car again.
She's still lying.
Listen, any chance
you could ask Ron
if this falls under
the same arrangement?
It's kinda soggy, you
wanna know the truth.
- Pie. He was eating.
- Tony, this is federal redevelopment.
I'll look into it.
- So a speech, huh?
- The sound quality is amazing.
New hats. Mic's right
in the button.
Museum of Science
and Truckin'.
I just wish my mother
could've seen it.
Give it to Angela
and shut the door.
Wherever she is,
I'm sure she's proud.
What happened to the jury
tampering investigation
- on Junior Soprano's trial?
- Actually, I...
You guys just drop
the ball on that?
Massarone's
a huge asset.
- Couple him with...
- What? Three-year-old airline tickets?
Some ties to
the Bevelaqua murder?
Even if Massarone
and 1,000 other
snitches pan out,
we've still gotta
put Tony on trial.
That's useless
until we find out how
they penetrated
the anonymous jury system.
And what? Jury duty's
not tough enough?
You know we don't like
to dig into some citizen.
Tough shit. One of those
citizens is a felon.
Get on it.
You know what's
goin' on here, right?
He fucked up his six-figure future
with O'Melveny & Meyers
when he blew
the Junior Soprano trial.
Of course he'll keep tryin'
him until he fixes that.
- Hey!
- Hey.
There he is,
John Barrymore.
- How are ya?
- All right.
I thought nobody
ever comes to see you.
I was droppin' off
some dandelions.
Saw a beautiful patch
in a vacant lot over by 15th Street.
- Nice salad.
- Any word about Tony B?
Yeah, yeah,
should be any day now.
Aunt Quintina's gonna call
the moment she hears.
He's a good kid,
your cousin, huh? Smart.
Fuckin' weirdo,
you ask me.
All right, the vacant lot
over on 15th Street?
That's where all the neighborhood
dogs go to piss.
You goddamn clown.
You got anything
lined up for the kid?
Yeah, yeah, air-bags.
We pull 'em
from boosted cars.
People buy 'em
like you wouldn't fuckin' believe.
Hey, legit dealers,
body shops...
they reinstall
undeployed bags as new.
Top dollar.
Brave new world.
Jesus Christ, they didn't even have
shoulder belts when I went away.
So you'll let me know
when the kid gets out, huh?
Yeah, we'll have
a party for him.
- I love you, okay.
- All right.
Come on, eat.
Don't be so sensitive.
I was bein' polite.
It's like... it's like eatin' red fescue.
I'll take an egg.
You want an egg?
Bobby, make
my nephew an egg.
I don't want an egg.
Tony B.
Like a welcome
home present.
- What's that, a Motorola?
- Yeah.
Supposed to be
the best.
You know, I figured
he could use one.
Call me when
he needs me.
All the fellas
are gettin' out, huh?
The class of 2004.
Old rats
on a new ship.
I think I'll take
an egg.
Make us
a couple eggs.
I'm doin' it. You told me.
He don't want one.
- You and Tony Egg again.
- Tony Egg? Tony B.
Like the time you two,
you took that camera in the bathroom
at your sister Barbara's
confirmation.
Hello?
Oh, that's terrible.
Where is he gonna
be laid out?
Who now?
God damn it!
Well, let us know.
Carmine Lupertazzi.
He passed
during the night.
What a fuckin' blow.
He was a great man.
My cousin told me it was Carmine
who invented point shaving.
C.C.N.Y. versus
Kentucky, 1951.
Nobody beat the spread.
I bought a black Fleetwood.
Anthony. Anthony, did I ever tell you
I want to be cremated?
About four times.
And don't throw my ashes
in somebody's yard
or off some
fuckin' bridge.
I wanna be on the mantelpiece
surrounded by family.
Yeah, under the moose head,
I know.
Keep jokin'. Let me
tell ya somethin'.
It's like that game
we used to play as kids...
crack the whip.
You run around like
an idiot holdin' hands
as tight as you can
and then the line snaps,
somebody lets go
and you're next.
Your father meant
a lot to all of us.
And not just
financially either.
How are ya?
What's up, buddy?
Nicole...
- you remember Mr. Petrille?
- What, honey?
He meant a lot to us.
- Ginny.
- Phil, how ya doin'?
- Hey, kid.
- Angelo.
I'm heartbroken.
- Nicole, you remember Mr. Garepe.
- Of course.
That was my aunt.
My cousin's out.
Aw, that's great news.
Start him off
small, T.
You hear that?
Your cousin's out.
- Oh, look who's comin'.
- What?
- Hey there, handsome.
- Hey, baby.
- How are ya?
- Good.
Lorraine,
you're lookin' good.
Yeah, keepin' it together
with pilates and gin.
Sil, Paulie,
how's it hangin'?
Still got the nice
manners, huh?
Ah,
this is my
nephew Christopher.
Lady Shylock,
you got some reputation.
Yeah, my mother said
that might happen.
I'd like to introduce you
to the love of my life.
This is my partner
Jason Evanina.
- Honor to meet ya.
- Hey, how are ya?
So Jesus leans off the cross
and whispers to Peter,
"I can see your house
from here. "
I'm so sorry.
This was such a shock.
- This is a very hard day.
- I just saw Ginny.
The flowers
are beautiful.
- John, got a minute?
- Yeah.
Nicole, I'm sorry.
What's goin'
on here?
- What are you talkin' about?
- My father.
Look at his hands.
- He looks peaceful.
- I'm talkin' about his rosary.
The medal?
You think I don't
know what that is?
It's for Opus Dei.
The fuck
is that about?
In his later years,
your father was very sensitive about
- what's been goin' on in the church.
- Bullshit!
Your wife is into
Opus Dei.
You told Colombino
to put it there.
- You sure about that?
- Yes, John, I'm sure.
Body's not even cold.
No respect
for anything anymore.
And New Jersey housewife
fundamentalist shit?
I doubt it, John.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
You yourself said
I was like another son to him.
I was bein' polite.
It was his deathbed.
I should've written
those words down.
Maybe you should have,
'cause they don't mean anything anymore.
You understand
what I'm sayin'?
I saw a huge
mushroom cloud
from the shell.
Jim Campbell
might be alive today
if he hadn't said to me,
"Heffron, you stay
here with your gun.
I'm going up. "
All your life, you gotta remember
what one guy did
because he thought
it was his job to do
and he took
a shot for you.
This shit's not supposed
to run and here I look like a raccoon.
You are irresistible
and you know it.
Danny said I was clingy.
Fuck him. He's the one
with self-esteem issues.
You don't know what
it's like out there, Ade.
You're marrying
Christopher.
He's handsome, makes money,
he's got great hair.
Oh...
Okay.
You know I love animals,
but this thing is so gorgeous.
Isn't it? My dad
almost had a stroke.
But I told him,
"Hey, asshole,
I'm the one taking
all the fucking risk here.
I have to fake
the invoices. "
Sometimes you gotta just take care
of yourself, you know?
Sure you do, honey.
Come here.
- Oh.
- Mmm.
Come on. Let's don't
keep your date waiting.
He likes you,
I can tell.
We got a white
wine for Ade.
That's another
apple martini for you.
Thank you, my dear.
My Seven-and-7,
and nothing-and-nothing.
Don't listen to him,
Chrissy.
I think what you're
doing's brave.
It's not for everybody.
Things are different
when you don't have
that crutch, you know?
We make up for it
other ways.
My God,
it's hot in here.
What do you expect?
You're dancing in a mink coat.
It's fox.
She's my fox
in a box.
Let's see her box,
or maybe her socks.
Stupid.
Well, I have to wear fur
on the outside on account
of being bare
everywhere else.
- You believe this one?
- No shit.
Every place I go,
I got substances
I can't enjoy
shoved in my face.
But I guess asking you
for a little support system
in my own home
is way the fuck outta line.
You gotta have
some more wine.
Seemed to have
a good time tonight.
What the fuck
you talking about?
What, Tina?
Come on, that cunt's
too full of herself, anyway.
Cunt? She's my maid
of honor, Christopher.
She's no fucking maid,
let me tell you.
Great, now I'm upset.
See what
I'm talking about?
But I guess
it's all my problem.
I'm sorry, baby.
Okay?
Please, stop.
All right, all right.
My handsome nephew.
Auntie Quin, look at you
all dolled up, huh?
I never thought I'd live
to see this day.
Well, here ya are,
still here.
Where's Tony?
Downstairs getting
into one of his old suits.
- I'll buy him some new suits.
- He's fine.
I only wish he had more
to come back to.
That ex-wife of his...
she uses her
answering machine
to ignore me, so forget about
his seeing the twins.
How's Kelly?
How's she doing?
Well, she's lost
to us, Anthony.
But Tony says
he's gonna hire
a detective.
Look at this.
The two of you
were so cute.
Even then, my cannoli
was bigger than his.
Ooh, stop.
Aw, man.
There he is.
Ah.
God, Ton'.
Look at us.
- 15 fucking years.
- The language.
Go ahead say it.
I haven't changed a bit, right?
You look good,
you look good.
Say "provolone. "
Surprise!
Shit.
Very nice, you give me
a heart attack.
Ma, it's enough,
all right?
Stop crying.
I'm embarrassed enough.
I don't know
what to say.
Don't say anything.
Just eat.
- Oh, hey!
- Ha!
I got peppers been
marinating for 15 years!
Hey.
- What?
- Where's Tubs?
- Artie?
- Yo.
- What happened here?
- Still a ball-breaker, huh?
What the fuck's
with him?
Ask him.
You guys
have a beef?
I loaned the guy some money
then he tried to kill himself.
And guess
who got the blame?
Oh my God, Tony.
My God, we have
all missed you so much.
I swear, you look
exactly the same.
Oh, you're still
full of shit, huh?
Is Nancy here yet?
The twins?
No, Nancy
couldn't make it.
Her aunt in Bayonne,
the sciatica.
- What are you gonna do?
- Cousin!
Jan.
Come, come, I want you
to meet my family.
I'm talking
to him right now.
- Tony, you remember Bobby.
- Oh, yeah.
- Good to see you.
- Now my husband.
And guys, this is your
Uncle Tony Blundetto.
Hey, there.
How come we never
met you before?
I've been away
on business.
I've never even
heard of you.
Stop playing
with your ice, come on.
They let that kid
say anything.
- Welcome home, Uncle Tony.
- Oh, Jesus.
This is Meadow.
God, you turned out
beautiful, honey.
And this strapping
young man is Anthony Jr.
How's Kelly?
Our regular dinner,
out by you Thursday, right?
Yes, Daddy.
See with my family
now, you know, the separation,
you gotta make an appointment
to see each other.
I should go see
Uncle Zio.
- Yeah.
- All right.
- Show him the phone!
- Yeah.
Tony.
I'll make this fast
'cause I know you're all hungry.
I remember growing up,
I was always asking
why I just used
to have sisters.
I said to my mother, I said,
"Can't you save up something
and then get me
a baby brother?"
And my mother said,
"What's wrong with your cousin Tony?"
And she was right,
'cause we were brothers.
Except, you know,
we had the same name.
There was like 50 Tonys
in the family.
Some of you remember this.
My dad's name was Johnny
and his dad's name
was Alfred.
And so whenever we were out
running around and we'd hear
"Tony Uncle Johnny,"
that was for me.
And "Tony Uncle Al,"
that was for him.
And there was
"Tony Uncle Philly!"
- Remember?
- Right, yeah, yeah.
But he passed away...
buon' anima.
And Uncle Phil...
Uncle Phil, he passed away
a long time ago, too.
So...
anyway.
Tony's being away
has been hard.
But he's back now,
for good.
So welcome home.
- Welcome home.
- Thank you.
Salut.
Come on, let me hear it.
Welcome home!
Welcome home!
Tony, Meadow is incredible.
She's a fucking Ivy Leaguer.
- You and Carm hit a home run.
- Yeah.
I'm sure Kelly's all right,
wherever she is.
Hey, her old man
was in prison.
We tried to do
everything we could.
I wasn't around.
What could I expect?
If things had gone different
way back when, who knows?
- What do you want from me?
- Nothing!
I'm just saying it's good
it wasn't both of us.
These things
happen, right?
You're gonna like this place.
This is nice.
This is the kind of place we always
talked about having.
Fucking weird.
My cousin
in the old man's seat.
It's like
Sun Tizzu says...
"A good commander
is benevolent
and unconcerned
with fame. "
- What?
- Sun Tizzu.
The Chinese
Prince Machiavelli.
Tony turned me
on to him.
Tzu, Tzu!
Sun Tzu, you
fucking ass-kiss.
Hey.
Feech!
You know I missed you
by two weeks at Allenwood.
This'll help
you get started.
Jesus, you're on
your feet already?
You hit the ground running
and you don't look back, huh?
Thank you.
Come on.
So you in on the bus
station project?
Massarone's waiting
on a number.
- How's he doing?
- Good.
We had coffee.
He used to bore me,
Jack.
But he ain't a bad guy
once you get to know him.
I always liked him.
I was very touched
by that funeral the other day.
- Real heart-grabber.
- That fucking little Carmine.
And after what?
Five years in Florida
fixing wet t-shirt
contests.
M'boy are you fat.
What did you say?
Reginald
Van Gleason III.
"M'boy are you fat. "
That's good, yeah.
Oh!
So I got some ideas,
you know, for you.
Get you on your feet.
Unless, of course, you already know
what you wanna do.
- Thanks.
- You're welcome.
- Well, yeah. I kinda got an idea.
- Yeah?
Like four years in I got
moved to Springfield.
You know, where they got
the big prison hospital.
It's mostly stab wounds,
detox.
Anyway, this guy I knew from Elkton,
he was telling me
how I could be
an orderly, you know?
And how it's easy
time and all.
Well, you know,
so then you're the guy
that hooks everybody up.
That's smart.
Yeah, but it wasn't
business for me.
I mean I really got
into this shit.
Rehab block had guys
with broken limbs, muscle diseases
and we'd help
them back.
So, I think this might
be a thing I can do.
I got my associate's
degree already.
Took me five years.
And now it's only
like six months more
for my massage license.
So you wanna run
a massage parlor?
No.
I'm gonna be a licensed
massage therapist.
Look, I've been away
from all this a long time.
I mean if I got
a shot at staying out
and putting shit together,
I should take it.
Oh.
'Cause I was thinking,
you know,
I got this air-bag
thing going...
Oh, Tony, thanks,
but...
I mean it's
a really nice offer,
but I need regular work
until I'm certified.
Just regular work.
Well, I guess I know
this guy looking for...
a delivery man
for his linen fleet.
- Bobby Gociletto?
- No, no, no, Koreans.
You know, I don't got
my driver's license.
So you'll go to my guy
at the DMV.
As far as the union shit,
I can take care of that.
Wow, Tony.
Thanks.
Thank you.
- You're the best, you know that?
- Yeah, yeah.
- Out.
- Why?
Because we are watching
a movie and you are studying.
And why must we keep
having that conversation?
Here it is. #1 on the American
Film Institute's
Greatest American
Movies list.
- "Citizen Kane. "
- Jesus, it's black and white.
That is what film club is all about...
trying new things.
Now, to give us
some background,
let's see what
Leonard Maltin has to say.
"A film that broke all the rules
and invented some new ones.
The cinematography, music
and Oscar-winning screenplay
by Welles and Herman
J- something are all first rate. "
- Wow.
- So it was a sled, huh?
He should've
told somebody.
I think it's fascinating
the man had all that stuff,
but he died alone
with nothing and nobody.
Good.
Prick.
I hated it.
"You supply the war.
I'll supply the headlines. "
How conceited.
There was
the cinematography.
Yeah, that
was very good.
- Oh my God.
- What?
I saw Laura Basi
in the dressing room at Loehmann's.
Definitely
had some work.
D- cup at least
and a lift.
Well, she said she was
remodeling her upstairs.
But I had no idea.
So, Carm,
how you doing?
I'm okay.
My lawyer, he's a top guy...
Robert Greenberg.
He says that New Jersey
has this equitable
distribution law.
So apparently 20 years entitles me
to at least half his money.
Well, it should.
You made Tony a home,
you raised his children.
Does this guy know
how to get it?
Well, it's mostly
cash, obviously.
God, all those years
and you could get nothing.
This other lawyer, Dan Minditch
says that we should play hardball.
You know, go after
the real assets.
Marriage is beautiful
in the beginning,
but two,
three years later?
You'd think there'd be
some romance at least.
Janice, you're
a newlywed.
I know. Six months and Bobby
still hasn't found my rosebud.
Maybe he should
hire a reporter.
So the movie's over
and they all start talking
about their marriages
and how miserable they are.
Bitterness.
So besides
the movie night?
- You have kids?
- No.
So did you attend
Carmine Lupertazzi's funeral?
I didn't know him.
Movie night
was fun, though.
Who was there
at the Tony Blundetto homecoming?
I told you,
just family.
God, is that all you think about
is your fucking work?
You don't care how
I feel about anything.
Okay.
I was married
to an agent.
What happened?
Did he cheat on you?
While we were trying
to get pregnant
he climbed right over me
to become an assistant supervisor
on the Milken
task force.
Moved to Los Angeles and jumped
a pay grade without me.
My God, that's terrible.
So where were we?
What am I doing?
I can't talk to you.
I can't even talk to Christopher
and he's my soul mate
for God's sake.
I can't talk
to my friends.
I am being ripped
apart here
just snitching
on people.
For what? What do
I get out of it?
Take some comfort in the fact
that you're trying to do the right thing
- by helping your government.
- No, seriously.
For me, it was when
I was in college.
My sister's
boyfriend Kyle
traded our TV
for six handguns.
He sold five
to a high school kid
then used the last one
to open a coconut.
The ricochet left
my sister a paraplegic.
I knew I had to do something
about guys like him.
And nowhere but the FBI
is the line clearer
between the good guys
and the bad guys.
And you're with
the good guys now.
Wow.
Jesus.
- Hey.
- TB.
I didn't call
for no linen delivery.
What do I find
at the pork store?
A bunch of guys
beating the meat.
- Wanna deal me in?
- Absolutely.
Stakes might be
a little high for you.
You know you can't
pay us in napkins.
You got to let that dry
before you put on a second coat?
Fucking Grandpa
Munster over here.
Oh!
You gonna deal those?
They're not candy bars.
You can let
some of 'em go.
What the fuck's that for?
Drying shirts?
It's a Tao master
massage chair.
I had no idea
I was so tense.
It's like my back
is on vacation.
Well, it could
definitely use one.
What the fuck
is this?
Hey T, you gotta
try this.
He's really
fucking good.
Nothing like being
in the joint
to teach you how to ease
another man's tensions.
Jesus Christ,
I'm gone for one hour.
All of a sudden it turns
into a fucking slumber party.
Somebody woke up
on the wrong side of the bed.
Could I talk
to you a minute?
None of your
fucking business
which side of the bed
I wake up on.
Jesus, it's just
an expression.
Bullshit. Don't tell me you don't know
what I'm talking about.
All that Reggie Van Gleason,
"M'boy are you fat. "
Things have changed
around here.
I'm the boss
of this fucking family.
You're crowding me.
You don't make fun of me.
Got it?
Got it.
And knock off
the massage shit.
It's a place of business,
not a Jack LaLanne.
You gotta
declare all that?
Most of it, anyway.
Well, if you had
a good bookkeeper...
Hey, you got change?
Been fucking sliding
this stupid bill in and out
of the cigarette machine
for like an hour.
An hour?
I bet you can go longer than that.
Listen to you.
Why do you always
talk like a whore?
Because men like it.
Yeah?
I think you're
right about that.
I'm telling you I'm
having a fucking time.
Stay out late, come home drunk,
fuck anyone I want.
Yeah, so what's
the difference?
I don't know.
It's a mindset.
Jesus Christ.
Tony, I was hoping you'd be here.
I gotta tell you,
you shouldn't eat up there
in Fairfield no more.
What the fuck
you talking about?
I went to collect
from my cop up there
and he gave me a heads up.
His buddy on the force saw some car
out by Napoleon's Diner
a couple of weeks ago.
And I remembered
how your goomah lives up there.
- Yeah?
- Guy thought maybe they were fags,
but he ran the plate
and it bounced
back a no-hit.
Feds.
Cop said they were
just sitting there in the rain.
They always do that, but I know
it wasn't me they tailed that night
'cause my whole life's
in the fucking rear view.
- Mine, too.
- Absolutely.
It's Massarone.
Aw, Jesus Christ.
If he flipped
I'd be fucked.
We all would.
Well he ain't been
to the grand jury,
because we would have
heard from our girl up there.
They could be just following
him at this point,
see if they could
get anything on him.
Yeah, and eventually
they'll bring him in.
They've turned a lot fucking tougher
guys than Jack Massarone.
You want me
to take care of it?
No, we don't know
shit yet, right?
He did give me that
fucking painting, though.
There was that,
Tony.
Can't a guy be fucking
nice anymore? Friendly?
So what do
you wanna do?
I wanna be absolutely
fucking sure.
That's what
I wanna do.
We arrange a meet.
I'll feel him out a little bit.
I gotta do it.
I know the guy.
I know the way he thinks.
I know the way
he acts.
My old man was very good
at vibing people out, too.
If Massarone's
up to something
I'll pick it up.
You piece of shit.
I don't believe this.
Hold on.
Yeah.
I just wanted to thank you for taking
the components out of the home theater.
Hey, I bought that for us to watch
movies as a family, okay?
Not to entertain
your girlfriends.
I talked to my lawyer about filing
a separation agreement.
I'm not paying
a lawyer.
We should be able to settle
this thing like adults!
Then stop taking shit
out of the house!
- Hey Tony, what's up?
- Let's take a walk.
There he is, huh?
Hey, how you doing?
- Good, good. How are you doing?
- Okay.
- Everything all right?
- Yeah, watch the curb.
Hey, wait a second.
Before you say anything,
have you lost
a little weight?
You think, huh?
I don't know.
Listen, I talked
to our friend.
- The one that celebrates Hanukkah?
- Uh-huh.
- It's in the works.
- Oh great, it's good news.
- Thank you.
- Yeah. Yeah.
So I been meaning
to ask you
you noticed
anything lately?
What are we
talking about?
You weren't followed
here, were you?
No, I...
I don't think so.
I'm... I'm pretty
careful.
All right.
Everything else okay,
good EKG and shit, huh?
- Yeah, I guess.
- All right.
But I gotta tell you,
I don't like what I'm hearing.
Relax.
It's not worth
losing your hair over.
- Right?
- Okay.
All right.
I couldn't tell shit.
What the fuck am I,
a mind reader?
So what's the next
step here, Ton'?
What?
Said I looked like
I lost some weight.
Oh.
The motherfucker.
Yeah?
Hey, whoa, whoa.
Take it easy.
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
hold on.
That Korean... Kim.
Something about your
cousin... I don't know.
Yeah?
It's your fucking
linen truck.
What do you want me
to do about it?
Yeah, yeah, it's okay.
Fire him. Go ahead.
Put him out in the fucking
street for all I care!
If Tony B wants
to pick up some scratch
he could do this Massarone thing...
if it goes.
What the fuck
is wrong with you?!
The man is trying
to go straight.
Don't you give a fuck
about your cousin?!
I'm sorry, T.
You're right.
That was a great party
the other night.
Fuck him.
Guy is fucking
useless to me.
Was that a yes
on Massarone?
Tony's got
his own process.
What's to process here?
Honestly, Carm, this is a lot better
than watching "Casablanca. "
I didn't need to see
that movie again anyway.
Even if it kills Tony,
I will have that system
back for next time.
So what is next
on that list?
Number three...
"The Godfather. "
Look at us. We'll kill ourselves
for these cigarettes.
You know they had
a bear back here?
So how come Angie Bonpensiero
don't come?
Please. She's not
welcome here.
I thought everybody
liked her.
Don't you know
about Pussy?
He went in the program.
He turned on everybody...
us, the people he knew
his whole life.
Who knows why people
do what they do?
But what kind
of person does that?
I mean it's like
Judas or something,
eating that last
supper with Jesus.
And the whole time he knows
they're gonna crucify him.
I mean, at least Judas
didn't go into any
apostle protection
program.
He hung himself.
He knew what he did.
Oh, look at you.
You're shivering.
I didn't know it was
that cold, sweetie.
I'll tell you, I don't know how
I'd be holding up.
It's just...
I guess you all are
really important to me.
Aw, Carm,
you'd do the same.
We love you so much.
Ade, you okay?
What's the matter?
I'm not what you think.
I don't know
what to do.
I need...
I wanna tell you
all something.
It's driving me crazy.
You know you can
tell us anything.
Oh God.
She's been drinking
like crazy.
Where are you going?
Oh, my God!
Ah!
Honey!
I'm fine, okay?
Just leave me alone.
No, you're bleeding.
Let me drive you.
Ton'? It's like 3:00
in the morning.
Yeah, yeah.
I couldn't sleep
so I wanted to see
if the phone worked.
Well, yeah,
it works great.
I'm in my mother's basement
and I can really hear you.
Listen, you should
know that...
that boss there, Kim,
he's after your ass.
I rub him
the wrong way.
Maybe you shouldn't
be a masseuse then.
Oh.
Tony, the reason I called,
about the other day...
look, you can kid
around with me, okay?
But not when the other
guys are there.
I gotta maintain respect.
No, I know.
You're the boss.
Jesus.
See you gotta be careful
what you say on this phone.
It doesn't affect you,
but it affects me.
Right.
I'm sorry.
Is everything
good over there?
You know, my mom's
on my case.
Who'd have thought
we'd both be on our own again?
Well, you can get back together
with Carm if you want.
'Course she thinks
it's up to her
and she goes from zero
to bitch every time
I try to show
any warmth, you know?
That's gotta be tough.
Listen, Tony, I gotta
be up in two hours.
So go to sleep.
But you're my cousin
and my best friend.
You gotta know
we could always talk.
Yeah, well I'll buy
a fucking lunch box.
All right, go to sleep,
go to sleep.
We gotta talk about
my compensation overall.
Interferon for my son's MS?
That's 20 a year now.
Right. You said you
were gonna get us
a making ceremony
which you didn't do.
And here you are
asking for a raise.
Can't you talk
to the higher-ups?
Okay, we made
Vito Spatafore
as running Ralph Cifaretto's
construction business.
Has Chris ever
confirmed that?
- You wanna know something?
- What?
This girl, she's totally
ripping off her employer.
Probably over 100 grand.
What do you mean?
Tina Francesco's
her name.
She's a bookkeeper
for this furniture wholesaler.
So she makes up vendors,
but she writes them real checks.
Then her father cashes them.
Is that a federal crime?
How many checks?
I mean, how much?
Like I said, probably
over 100 grand.
Tina?
Francesco.
The father's
name's Victor.
It's Brettler
& Son's Imports.