The Sopranos (1999–2007): Season 4, Episode 9 - Whoever Did This - full transcript

Rusty!

Rusty!

You don't answer,
someone calls you?

Look at this shit now.

What do you got
for me, Counselor?

The Brioni.

Hear ye, hear ye.

The Honorable Dennis Holzer of the
Eastern District of New York presiding.

Court is now in session.
Be seated.

Come to order.

The defendant's request for temporary
release from federal custody

to attend his daughter's
wedding is ludicrous.

Mr. Sacrimoni is a known member
of organized crime

at the helm of a vast
criminal conspiracy.

I notice you're wearing
a wedding ring, Ms. Vaughn.

Was your father at your wedding?

My father wasn't awaiting trial
on 47 RICO predicates,

including murder.

Mr. Sacrimoni...

your application is granted.

- Oh, thank God!
- On the following conditions. Quiet!

You'll be released
for a total of six hours

to attend the church service
and party thereafter.

During the entirety
of the six hours,

you will be escorted
by U.S. marshals.

The cost of their presence,
transportation

and the cost of metal-detection
screening equipment

is to be borne by you
at your own expense.

You will consume no alcohol

nor other
intoxicating substances.

Do you understand
and agree to these conditions?

I do, Your Honor, and thank you.

Mrs. Soprano, good morning.

- I'm Perry... Annunziata.
- Come in.

Beautiful house.

You are Gina Annunziata's
cousin, right?

Muscles Marinara,
the Italian strongman.

I'm just glad you got somebody
capable of protecting you,

- driving for you.
- Well, that's why I got him here.

She worries, my wife.

- Yeah, well...
- He's in good hands, Mrs. Soprano.

First runner-up,
Mr. Teenage Bloomfield.

Your first day back at work.

Gosh, I feel like a mommy.

Hey. Come on.

See you later.

So what do you do?
Free weights, machines?

Little bit of both. Depends what muscles
I'm trying to hit, you know?

Oh.

Yeah, I gotta get
back to the gym.

You want, I'll make you
a program.

There was a time
when I could bench over 300 lbs.

With a major head cold
one time, I did it.

You cough with weights
like that over your head,

you crush your neck.

I guess I don't gotta tell you.

Ho! You don't signal?

Hey, fuck you!

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Sorry.

My mom says I should count 10,
but I never remember.

Well, here I am.

- Back.
- Yep.

So let me ask you right off,

is there any chance
of a mercy fuck?

Just kidding.

- How are you feeling?
- You went to medical school.

A gut shot is everything they ever
told you it was.

And emotionally?

I'm happy to be alive.

Have you spoken
to your uncle since it happened?

No. And won't.

Finally get to sleep
in my own bed tonight.

Had a hospital bed in the house

- last month and a half or so.
- Is sleeping difficult?

- Tylenol helps.
- What about dreams,

night terrors,
anything like that?

Gloom is your business,
and business is good.

You were shot, Anthony,
by a member of your family.

I know.

And unless I know
absolutely nothing

about what I'm doing,

I think you and I'll
have a lot to talk about.

Are you familiar with the term

"post-traumatic stress"?

I get it, okay?

My uncle tried to kill me,
for the second time.

Three strikes
and I'm out, right?

Who knows? Maybe I
am suppressing things.

But for right now,
I feel like each day is a gift.

I told my sister.

And that's how it's gonna stay.

Fair enough.

Is there something
else you'd like to talk about then?

Let's pick up where
we left off before this all happened.

A.J.

Believe it or not,

things have gotten
worse with that kid.

Flunked out of college.
He waited till I was in a coma.

Didn't you leave Seton Hall after
a semester and a half?

All right, fine,

but why can't he copy
some of the good things about me?

- Does he have a job?
- Blockbuster.

First stop
on the shitbird express.

In some ways, this horrible shooting
may provide an opportunity

for him to learn
from your mistakes.

My mistakes...

I got caught up
in domestic violence.

You think it can't happen
to you, but it does.

But I was referring
to the bigger picture:

The ready access to guns,

the use of violence
to solve disputes

because of the nature
of your work, your uncle's work.

I told you I didn't want
to talk about my uncle.

Fine, but for now
is it safe to say

that there are worse
ways to earn money

than by stocking shelves
at Blockbuster?

Yeah, there are.

- Come on, you in or what?
- Don't fuck with my concentration.

I've warned you before.

What is it?
800 more?

Fuck it. Fold.

Cards.

Oh! There's the skip.

Back with a vengeance.

- You look great.
- How are you?

Welcome home, T.

- Come here, you malingerer you.
- Easy, easy, easy.

- Great to have you back, T.
- Fucking great to be back.

- Sit, Ton', I'll clear your spot.
- We got you your bialy

as soon as we heard
you were coming in today.

Nuke that joe so it's hot.

Oh, fuck.

The onions...
I can't.

Oh, scoop out that bialy.

- I got it.
- Sorry.

I got it, Ton', no problem.

There you go. I'll get your coffee,
and you're all set.

So the municipal
swimming pool...

- the bid start on that yet?
- I got a lunch tomorrow.

That guy Deutsch
from the planning commission.

Antibiotics.

I had that with the spleen.
Staves off the infection.

Spleen, my ass.

Beat this.

- Oof, Madonn'.
- Fuck that.

Check out this bad boy.

I had the plastic surgeon,
Taschlin, do the outside sutures.

Plepler, the head trauma man,
he did the inside work.

He dealt with the sepsis.

I was the first guy
at the hospital to have the VAC.

It's an open-incision
situation.

It's a better way to heal.
Less pulling on the outer dermis layers.

The thing is with all the Ativan
and the Dilaudid I was taking,

intestinal blockage
was a constant fucking problem.

- So in the long run...
- There's your coffee, Ton'.

- Yeah.
- Ton', with your medicine,

you want I set my watch
so you don't gotta worry?

Nurse Betty over here.

When my mom had the lupus,
God rest her soul,

'round the clock care
I gave that woman.

Medicine, food, lifted her
in and out of the tub.

- The man's trying to eat.
- I'm just saying.

Another life I might have gone
into health care. I actually enjoyed it.

How about a bandage over your mouth
then? We're trying to play.

You can lift a grown
woman out of a tub?

Isn't it ironic?

Fucking hospital stay like mine,

you lose goddamn
muscle mass, not fat.

Fucking believe it?

You'd think at least something good
would have come out of the situation.

- You in, Ton'?
- Sure, why not?

- He's in.
- Same game, five-card calls?

Same game. Why? You wanna change
games now 'cause I won three pots?

Keep the cards down, Sil.

The government's
own neuropsychologist

clearly finds
evidence of dementia.

Evidence consistent
with dementia.

Nonetheless, I'm going to
recommend he be sent

to a prison psychiatric
facility for further evaluation.

He'll only be warehoused
in a public facility.

Now, Your Honor, we ask
that Mr. Soprano be sent

- to a private locked facility.
- Why not a resort in Antigua?

You want his mental state
improved so you can put him on trial?

Just let him go to a place where
he can get better.

You got Uncle Angelo
at table 19?

What?
He's with Connie and them.

And when he sees Aunt Lorraine
and the Haitian boyfriend

sitting next to them...

- I thought you were on top of this.
- There's 400 people, John.

I've had other things
on my mind.

And I'm idling away the hours?

Who's not talking to who?

This one can't see that one.

It's okay, honey.
Take it easy.

You were the one
who wanted a big wedding.

Catherine, your sister has enough
to deal with without the commentary.

I'm sorry I blew my stack, okay?

We are gonna get through
this as a family... dignified, proud...

despite all the persecution
and roadblocks.

And when I say family,
that includes you, too, Eric.

- Thank you, John.
- Thank you who?

Thank you, Dad.

You...

I want you to relax.
Make sure you eat.

- You too.
- Me? No, thank you.

I am eight lbs. away from my goal,
and I am fitting in that dress

- if it kills me.
- Jesus, can we ever talk about anything

in this family besides food?

- Three sixes.
- Boat, 10s over Jacks.

- Vito, you again.
- All right, that's it for me.

- Banker's hours.
- Pace myself, doctor said.

You'd be surprised
how much energy the body expends

- during the healing process.
- Penne Arabiatta,

go get the car
cooled down, will you?

- Penne Arabiatta.
- Yeah, that's what I call him.

Red pepper flakes up his ass.

He's a fucking hothead.

Ton', Phil Leotardo's here.

All right, bring him in.

There he is.
Back in business.

- How's the labonza?
- Oh, it's good.

You guys letting him win?

Listen, I need to bend your ear.

Can't it wait?
I was just about to go.

I just sat in traffic
all the way from Brooklyn.

I was up by John.
He sends his regards.

He'd like you to do
him a favor, though.

What now?

Our friend there,
the Mayor of Munchkinland,

John wants him gone.

Jesus. Rusty?

John's worried he might
find another puppet like Little Carmine,

try to run the family
through him.

So why me hit him?

You guys got more buttons
than my grandmother's fucking corsets.

John wants things to point away
from the family.

You know what?
Tell him no.

Time and again
I've done his bidding.

It's time to set some limits.

- Really?
- Yeah, really.

Be well.

I thought I heard the door.

How was the first day?

It was good.

- Tired, though.
- You wanna take a nap?

Smells good.

Downy fresh.

God, this feels great.

It does.

Chris.

Let 'em in.

Ho! Where are the rest
of the 40 thieves?

You got it?

Good week.
120 credit card numbers

plus the three-digit
security codes,

- but I won't charge you no extra.
- Excellent.

- Don't leave home without it.
- No, we'll use them.

No, credit cards.

The commercial.

So Tony's out of hospital.
Please give him our wishes.

We brought him some dates.

Also, Chris, you know
how we can purchase

a couple of TEC-9 semi-automatics,
extended magazines?

Hold on. TEC-9s?
What the fuck for?

It's a family problem.

My former brother-in-law,
actually.

All right, fucking take it easy.

What did the guy say?

Our friend from the other place,
he talked to the guy?

What's his name, the local guy.

Yeah, yeah, I know.

Hold on.

Yep, I see it.
Thank you, Ro.

Mr. Sacrimoni, I'm Deputy Feathem,
U.S. Marshal Service.

This is my partner
Deputy Mayweather.

We're here to escort you
to the wedding today.

Gentlemen.

Though ordered by the court,
your release is at our discretion.

So based on your behavior or any other
mitigating factors,

we can elect
to bring you back early.

- Patent leather?
- It's a tuxedo.

Have you read an issue
of "GQ" in the past three or four years?

Allegra Sacrimoni
getting married.

Were we not just
at her christening?

1980... 50-lb.
Bundle of joy.

She'll be a beautiful
bride, Tony.

All brides are beautiful.

Wait till this one gets married.

How much are we giving?
So I can write it down.

You keep tabs on gifts?
How sentimental.

- That's how it's done, Meadow.
- So we can know if they stiff us

- when your big day comes.
- Exactly.

All this pressure.

I know you'd like to think
it's me pressuring you,

but the reality is it's your father
keeps this going.

Please, like you aren't desperate
to have a grandchild.

Any thoughts on when you and Finn
are tying the knot?

This discussion is over.

Look, sweetie.

It's just...

what I been through,

it changes the way you think.

Holding my grandkids...

your kids...

on my lap...

all of a sudden,
it's very important to me.

Could I have your name, sir?

Hey, is that the father?
Jesus Christ.

Yeah.

Cell phones, cameras, keys.

All metal objects
must be placed in a tray.

- Sir, what is this?
- Nitroglycerin. What do you think?

Cologne. Smell it,
you don't believe me.

Proceed.

You'd think bin Laden
was getting married in there.

You realize they made John pay
for all this heightened security

- out of his own pocket?
- Are you kidding?

- The government did that?
- Mm-hmm.

- You okay?
- Yeah,

- it's hot.
- Almost there.

All metal objects
in the tray, sir.

Jesus Christ!

Arms outstretched, please.

All right, you'll need to step out
and remove your shoes, sir.

- Oh, come on!
- It's all right.

Tony, Tony!

- Daddy!
- A.J., get him a chair!

I should have worn loafers.

It ain't your fault, T.
It's all this bullshit.

- It's a steam bath.
- I'll get a damp paper towel.

Sorry.

Here, Ton', some water.

He just got out of the hospital.
Are the shoes really necessary?

- Sorry, Miss.
- Let me do it, don't bend.

All right.

I, Eric, take you,
Allegra, to be my wife.

Allegra. Ain't that
a cold medicine?

It means happiness in Italian.

What the fuck's that got to do
with cold medicine?

Forsaking all others
so long as you both shall live.

In sickness and in health,

forsaking all others
as long as we both shall live.

Allegra, repeat these words.

I, Allegra, take you,
Eric, to be my husband...

I, Allegra, take you,
Eric, to be my husband...

To have and to hold
in good times and bad,

for richer and for poorer...

To have and to hold
in good times and bad,

for richer and for poorer...

In sickness and in health,

forsaking all others,

so long as we both shall live.

In sickness and in health,

forsaking all others,
so long as we both shall live.

Would you believe this place,
the money they've spent?

It's either this or give it to the feds
in the asset seizure.

Check this out. They got a whole
seafood station over there.

- You're not hungry, sweetie?
- I don't eat fish. The toxins.

Pinot grig for the missus.

- Rum and coke for the kids.
- Thank you.

And a club soda
for the convalescent.

Thank you, sir.

Salut.

Hey, there he is.

Meadow, you look stunning.

- Thank you.
- And look at this young dentist,

all handsome
in his Calvin Klein.

Some beautiful grandkids
these two will make, huh?

So, Ton', you got a sec?

Yeah.

Listen, Ton',
I don't mean to talk business,

but I had to tell you.

I met with that guy Deutsch,
the one from the planning commission.

Not only is he in charge of approving
bids for all city contracts,

he's also a degenerate
horse player.

So he'll play ball?

He's fucking Joe DiMaggio.

And this is from Weehawken,
the strip mall.

Enjoy your day.

Oh, here he is.
Father of the bride.

- Good to see you.
- John, she looks so beautiful.

- It was so moving.
- Thank you, honey. I appreciate it.

All this.

Hey, googootz, you wanna
be an event planner,

you learn from this.

An event planner?
Where do you get this shit?

"Stuff" would do nicely, A.J.
We're at a wedding.

Good to see you, my friend.

You too, John.

It's been a long time.

Obviously, I couldn't come
visit you in the hospital.

When I heard what happened,
I was devastated.

That's life, huh?

So seriously,
what's the damages here?

What am I in for with Meadow?

Not counting the honeymoon, 425.

So adjusting for inflation,

I'm looking at half a rock.

What's it all for, though, Tony, huh?
What we put in, the grind.

Isn't that for things like this?

Yeah.

So I heard Phil came to see you.

Let's go say hello to your dad.

So how you doing here?
You having a good time?

- Which one are you?
- My friend Tony, Pop.

Hey, I'm gonna say a few things,

and these pricks are watching,

so I'm gonna make like
I'm talking to your dad and them.

Hey, Aunt... Farris.

Hello.

What you asked me to do
with the little guy,

I can't do it.

This fucking prick,

he's disruptive.

He doesn't have the balls
to step up himself.

- What did he say?
- So just keep him away from Phil.

He's a cancer.
I can't let it spread.

Well, you're gonna
have to use one of your own doctors.

Oh, I'd love to.
Believe me.

But my position is
not completely solidified.

You should call
Dr. Cuomo.

- We're just talking here, Aunt Louise.
- Don't eat that pepper!

- When Carmine died...
- What?

Rusty could have been boss.
He should have been.

But he didn't want
the responsibility.

Like I advised you.

Say no more.

It's too fucking
late now anyway.

I need your help, Tony.

Some of these guys, my captains,

they find out I'm behind
the move against him?

Make things worse. I can't take
that risk while I'm in jail.

Stay out of trouble.

So I'm supposed
to put myself at risk,

share the same fucking
jail cell as you?

- What did he say?
- I don't know.

Forget it, John.

It's Allegra's wedding, Tony.

The way things are,

I don't know if I'll be
around for Catherine's.

I know you're going through a rough
time right now, all right?

Then do me this favor, Tony.

Okay, I'll take care of it.

I won't forget it.

All right.

And now the moment
we've all been waiting for,

for the first time anywhere,

let's give a huge hand
and a lot of love to...

Mr. and Mrs.
Eric DiBenedetto!

Ladies and gentlemen,
for their first dance as man and wife,

Allegra and Eric have chosen

the lovely...

Please join our bride and groom
on the dance floor.

How you doing over there?

I'm okay.

- Wanna dance?
- Really?

It's a slow one.

Thank you, gentlemen.

Okay, Corrado.

- Taking any medication?
- Coumadin.

Not bad, Corrado.

- You got a tree outside.
- Don't bullshit me.

Doctor will be in later
to do a thorough admission.

So, I'll check in
with you at the end of the week.

You're gonna get the help
you need here, Corrado,

so you can aid
in your own defense.

I didn't shoot anybody!

Corrado, look, I don't
know you that well, but you have to...

He's my nephew, God damn it.
Why would I shoot him? Why?

The gun was on the fritz.

I wanna go home.

- Corrado, stop it.
- I wanna go home!

Stop.

You know that's not possible.

If I did it, the fucking gun
malfunctioned.

It was old, okay?
I should have cleaned it.

Try to get some sleep.

You'll feel better
in the morning.

Ladies and gentlemen,
at this time

our lovely bride will dance
with her father.

This is how it works,
I'm thinking.

We bring somebody over
from Naples.

What?

Completely insulate ourselves.
They do Rusty,

they're back on a plane
over the Atlantic two hours later.

I don't know, T.
You ask me, farming it out

is a pussy-ass
maneuver.

Excuse me?

Ton', the rollatine!

Hold on.

If we're gonna do it,
we should do it ourselves,

maintain control.

Better yet, tell New York
to fucking handle it already.

John just asked me specifically.

So it's like the movie then.

- What movie?
- One.

That you can't
refuse a man's request

- on his daughter's wedding day.
- No, it's the other way around.

That I should be asking
him for something he can't refuse.

- So did you?
- No.

- You should ask not to do this.
- I already fucking agreed.

Look, we wanna keep
him placated, right?

I mean, the shit with Phil
and his little brother

and the perpetual hard-on
he's still got with us.

I don't think it's a good idea.

Well, I didn't ask you
what you fucking think.

- Come on.
- You're going already?

He's always like this
at weddings.

You make me sound rude. Crab cakes.
I told you I don't feel good.

They don't keep in this heat.

Vito, let's go.

Francesca, come on.

Good night.

John, gonna have to
wrap this up.

Six hours you said.
I got till quarter till 11:00.

That includes
transportation, sir.

- You fucking kidding me?
- I tried, John. They won't budge.

Can he have some cake at least?

You can pack some
to take with you, if you'd like.

Heartless pricks.

Out front in 20.

Here they come!

Thank you, Daddy.

- I love you, baby.
- I love you, too.

Mom!

You came this close to almost
making your goal.

- Have a great time, sweetheart.
- I'll call you when we land.

Bye, Grandpa.

Say hi to Don Ho.

I love you.

What the fuck?!

- Let's go, John.
- What? Wait a second.

- Let's go.
- Stand back, please.

Can you let my daughter
leave at least?

- Daddy, what's happening?
- I will not ask you again.

- You motherfucker.
- Oh my God.

- What are you doing?
- Get your hands off him.

Jesus Christ! Is that
fucking necessary?

Stand back. Now!

John.

Bye.

Mom! Oh God.
Oh God!

- Is she all right?
- Ginny!

Oh my God!

Put her head back.
Let me check her airway.

Go.

I'll tell you one thing, and I'm
not ashamed to say it,

my estimation
of John Sacrimoni as a man

just fucking plummeted.

Give him a break, will ya?

It's an emotional day.

To cry like a woman?
It's a fucking disgrace.

His fucking coach
turned into a pumpkin.

Well, even Cinderella
didn't cry.

When it comes to daughters,
all bets are off.

I've seen tougher guys
than John cry at weddings.

Well, let me ask you this...

If they can make him cry
and if he's that weak,

what the fuck else
can they make him do?

I gotta agree with Phil, Ton'.

Oh, you do, do you?

Terrible out there, huh?
Poor guy.

He's an emotional man.
He loves his daughter.

I want to give you
a home, take care of you.

Love you.

Oh, Steve.

You don't know me.

I still love...

Where are you going?

- I gotta make some collections.
- Now?

- I thought you were sick.
- Go to bed.

I'll see you later.

Maybe too much.

Don't think I want any less.

Do you love me?

I think I do.

We have been very lucky, Tony.

The house, the kids,

what we just went through
at the hospital.

You make your own luck in life.

I'll stop by tomorrow.

What do you got for me, Nicky?

Let met get my wallet.

Fucking skeeve, this shit.

What's a guy gotta do
to buy you a drink?

You just did it.

Vito?

What the fuck?

- Sal, hey.
- Fuck you doing?

Nothing. I was here.
It's a joke.

- You're a fucking fag?
- Watch it, buddy.

You fucking watch it, cupcake.

- Guys, come on. It's okay.
- You think so?

Sal, please,
it's a fucking joke.

Right, sure.
Say hi to your wife.

I'm serious.
I'm... Sal, please.

Don't say nothing, Sal!

Fuck those jerks.
What do you care what they think?

What? Leave me
the fuck alone.

- Honey.
- Go back to sleep.

I'm gonna take a shower.

- Hello.
- Is Sil there?

Vito Spatafore.

- Hello.
- What do you know? What do you say?

What do I know?
What do I say?

It's three o-fucking clock.
Is Tony all right?

That's why I'm calling you.
Checking in.

Last I saw,
he was having dessert.

All right, then.

- Everything else okay?
- Yeah.

Call me on my cell,
you need anything.

The point is they made me
take off my shoes,

and I nearly passed out in front
of everybody trying to bend over.

- Well, that's not good.
- People misinterpret.

They think you're weak,
they see an opportunity.

They're my friends,

a lot of them, but they're also
fucking jackals.

- Alpha male.
- It's subtle,

but since I been back,
I been noticing certain looks

and people questioning my judgment
where they never did before.

Sure, cat's away,
bad habits set in.

In a perfect world

I just relax,

let them think whatever
the fuck they want.

Act as if.

As if you're not
feeling vulnerable.

As if you're
the same old Anthony.

Strong, "I'm sure," decisive.

People see only what
you allow them to see.

Yeah, I been thinking
the same thing.

Thanks for the advice.

Glad to be of service.

Bring that.
Come on, come on, come on!

Where you going?

Ho, get the skip a chair.

I don't want a chair.
I'm fine.

Ton', how you doing?

- What are you weighing these days?
- Don't ask. 265.

Let's go.

Hey, what's up, Ton'?

- Skip.
- Hey, boss.

You talk to Vito?

Huh? I called him two times.
He never called me back.

You try the house?

'Cause he called me
just the other night.

Hungry, T? You want, I'll have
Bissell fix you a sandwich.

No, no, I'm good.
I'm good.

What's your fucking problem?

Huh?

What the fuck is your problem?

Slamming the goddamn
refrigerator door.

- What? No.
- Are you gonna argue with me now?

I didn't even
open the refrigerator.

The Coke was out on the counter.

So you are gonna
argue with me, huh, you fucking mutt?

Look, Tony, I don't wanna...

You don't wanna what?
You don't wanna what?

This fucking guy, huh?

Fucking Philadelphia lawyer.

Jesus!

- Don't do it!
- No, don't do it!

My arm!

How's that, huh?

You got anything else to say?

Get up.