The Sopranos (1999–2007): Season 4, Episode 2 - No Show - full transcript

Who's a big boy, huh?
Who's a big boy?

Lilac Personal Shopping.

- Hey, you.
- Hey.

My cousin came through
on those day-spa certificates.

Excellent. How's outside
Daffy's at 11?

Perfect.

You want some lunch?
I was gonna sit down to a tuna san.

- Onions? In the morning?
- Actually, it's 2:00.

I'm going out by the pool.

What, Mom?

You were gonna get up at 8:30
to be at TCBY Yogurt...

...when the manager got there.

Five days till school starts.
What's the use of getting a job?

Oh, I don't know.
A few textbooks you could buy.

Pairs of socks. And anything that
we don't have to supply.

This whole thing about working
between now and class...

...is about you being pissed
because I didn't intern at the playhouse.

We bought you a car so you could
drive back and forth to your internship.

You don't feel bad you didn't
live up to your end?

We've been through this
how many times?

There was no stagecraft whatsoever
in what they had me doing.

Xeroxing does not count
towards a drama internship.

Did you call the drama department,
check that out?

No, I didn't, so can we shitcan
the courtroom theatrics?

Watch your mouth.

Like I haven't been through
enough this year.

Twelve credits each semester.
I'm not entitled to a summer?

You hardly...

Hello?

Are you kidding?

Listen, can I call you back?

You hardly broke a C, Meadow,
your entire second semester.

Maybe you forgot
my ex-boyfriend died?

Your grades started going down
while you were with Jackie.

Great.

Jesus, did you ever lose
a friend at my age?

Did you ever have to grieve
when you were 19?

Meadow, honey, you should have
been working this summer.

If only to feel good about yourself.
Get your mind off Jackie...

...instead of laying out by that pool.
I read, Mom, out by that pool.

- Probably half the canon.
- "The canon." Okay, what is that now?

Now?

The great books?
Western literature?

Dead white males?

Who even in their reductionism
have quite interesting things to say...

...about death and loss.

More interesting than
what you have to say.

Is Mary Higgins Clark
part of that group?

Because that's what I saw you reading
every time I passed by the pool.

Hello? Oh, hi.
You're not surprised, are you?

Come on, he's so totally duplicitous.

He had the nerve
to come to the pub crawl?

Can I call you back?

Are we through talking?

- Did you at least register for classes?
- I will.

Oh, just go.

Hi.

There's some guy
in your driveway with a ponytail?

What is his story?

- Hi, Mrs. Sop.
- Hello, Misty.

Fur, hi. He'll be down in a second.
He's just changing.

He was working outside this morning.

- So you want some coffee?
- Sure.

- I'm gonna buy a house, you know.
- No, I didn't. Where?

- Nutley.
- So you're gonna stay, huh?

- You gonna become a citizen too?
- No, you don't need that.

- How's it going, Ton?
- Oh, here at Peaceful Acres? Just swell.

You don't got time for coffee.

I need you to drop me off
so I can pick up my car.

Then I got an appointment.
I'll drive myself. All right?

Later.

- Say goodbye to Med for me.
- Why don't you say goodbye yourself.

I'll tell you what a gold mine is,
those Harry Potter books.

That's because it gives the other kids,
the 98-pound weaklings, hope.

Oh, speaking of 98 pounds?

I hear Ginny Sack's getting a 95-pound
mole taken off her ass.

Hey, some guy's wife. Come on.

All right, gentlemen, I gotta go.

- Talk to Patsy.
- Happy birthday.

All right, come on.

- See you, guys.
- See you, Ton.

Happy birthday, Al.

So, Pasqualin', I understand
we have some business to discuss.

The floor is yours.

Go on, tell him.

I drove out to Youngstown
to see Uncle Paulie...

...and he was, I don't know...

...hoping you could settle this shit with
Ralph and the no-show carpenter jobs.

Ralph?

Okay, for the record,
I had my guy go over the books.

one no-show, one no-work.

Two jobs? On a $300 million project?

Come on, Ralph.

What's the real number?

What am I, speaking in tongues here?
Two. Maybe I can do three.

- My uncle's looking for at least 10.
- I'm talking here.

The guy's in the can.

You think you wanna keep him
happy maybe?

All right. Here it is.

And this comes from...

For the duration...

...you will give Paulie
five carpenter jobs:

Two no-shows and three no-works.

One of the no-shows
our friend in Youngstown keeps...

...and one he gives to Chrissy here.

The others, the no-work jobs,
that's for Paulie.

How he wants to distribute them.

It is so decreed.
Now, if there isn't anything else?

There is something else.

With Paulie in the can,
there's a new acting capo of his crew.

- It's Chrissy.
- Hey, Chrissy, good job.

That's the way certain people want it,
and we trust there will be no ill will.

This is fucking great. I mean,
I know I'm just the acting, but still...

- It's a big responsibility, Chrissy.
- Hey, I got it covered.

First thing I'm doing
is getting wings in my hair.

You know, like Paulie.

I'll talk to you later.

See these crystal paperweights?

Last year, I bought the Christmas gifts
for the entire Jets front office.

Over 600 of these,
shaped like footballs.

- You ever get tickets?
- Lost the account.

To better times, huh?

That's so adorable,
with the animals shaped like letters.

I know, if I ever have a baby...

Yeah.

- What?
- Nothing.

Christopher talks about
having kids once in a while.

I don't know.

- Where is our angry young man?
- Out with his friends, I guess.

I used to date this one guy Vinnie.

He was more like a fuck buddy,
but he lived on Staten Island.

I swear, we'd be in
the middle of doing it...

...and if his goddamn
beeper went off...

...then he'd just leave.

I think he was, like, connected
or something.

He used to carry a gun.

It's probably just to protect himself.
I mean, Christopher does sometimes.

- When you're in a cash business...
- Stocks is a cash business?

Can I tell you something?

Sure.

I don't think I can have kids.

What? Why?

I can't believe I'm telling you this.
It's just I feel really close to you.

A long time ago, before Christopher even,
I had an abortion.

I didn't want to.
I know it was wrong...

...but the guy was such an asshole.
It was really the best thing.

Anyway, there were complications.

My gynecologist says...

...that there's a good chance
I won't be able to hold a pregnancy.

Oh, God, I can't believe
I'm telling you this.

Christopher don't even know.
My own mother, even.

Sometimes it helps to talk, huh?

They can do incredible things
these days, Ade.

When the time comes,
I know a great ob-gyn...

...that my sister went to in the city.

Really?

You just show up without calling?
I thought you were going out.

I'm a man of many mysteries.

This is Christopher's friend
Paulie Germani.

- Hey, how you doing?
- Hey.

Yeah, so you put this in the back
of your freezer, it'll take out any odors.

Go on, buy her a drink somewheres.
I gotta talk to my fianc?e.

- Christopher, some manners?
- I'll call you tomorrow, Ade.

So, what? You from around here?

- Something's wrong with that broad.
- Something's wrong with you.

Yeah? Here's what's wrong with me.

Holy shit.

Oh, my God.

- These diamonds...
- Harry Winston, baby.

It's got more carats than Bugs Bunny.

Christopher.

I had a great conversation
with Silvio today.

What? Tell me.

Let's just say that Carmela
ain't gonna be first lady forever.

Political disagreement is often a catalyst
leading to violence in a world gone mad.

Burning rage in Korea spilled
onto the street with deadly results.

Check it out.
The guy in the red jacket?

In like 10 seconds,
that cop's a fucking fireball.

I don't think I wanna see this.

- Janice?
- Oh, fuck, it's my brother.

Janice?

Coming. I'm coming.

- Hey.
- Hey.

- What are you doing here?
- I was at Bacala's.

- Figured I'd come by, say hello.
- Good. Good.

- How's he doing?
- He's fat.

Faces of Death? What,
was The Sound of Music already rented?

It's research for our Christian rock video
I'm coordinating with the record release.

That Tommy Mottola,
he's one slow motherfucker.

- What's it been, about a year?
- Actually, we're not going with Sony.

We're considering a smaller
independent label.

Oh, naturally. Got any coffee?

I may only have soy milk.

What?

What do you care, Tony?
It's none of your business anyhow.

- Ralph Cifaretto, Janice?
- It's always fucking something with you.

Why don't you stay out of
other people's living rooms.

Jesus Christ.

You look good.
Better than last time.

Ralph came through with those jobs.

- Well, what did Tony say?
- I guess Tony made him do it.

I wished Albert
a happy birthday for you.

Who's been to see my ma?

Well, I don't think anybody, Paulie.

Chrissy says Tony sent her
some chocolates.

Whoa. Chrissy said T made a killing
in real estate down Frelinghuysen.

That assemblyman guy
hyped him to it.

Ralph told this funny fucking
joke, though, at Albert's party.

He goes, "Ginny Sack...

...had a 95-pound mole
surgically taken off her ass."

- He said that?
- Yeah.

And you think it's funny?

It's in bad taste, huh?

The fuck?

No, that's not what I want.
No, no, no.

No, I want a 50 T's,
50 reverse. Got that?

Guys, pick up those
ice-cream wrappers.

If I were a carpenter
And you were a douche bag

- Hey, what are you doing?
- Breaking my balls. What's it look like?

I tell you, this no-show shit is tough.

Deciding what not to wear to work,
what not to put in my lunch box.

You're breaking my heart.

You should try sitting here
10:30 to 3:00.

You got Carson Ave?

Hey, you know that girl
the other night, Danielle?

She's a piece of ass
but fucking rude.

- It's all here?
- You remember to put the spores in there?

That's not funny.

- What the fuck's all that?
- Fiber-optic cable.

High-speed Internet access.

- A lot of money in this shit.
- Oh, yeah?

The kid was supposed to get
a job this summer, an internship.

Then it wasn't right for what she
was studying. Okay, that's one down.

Then she was gonna be a hostess at
Artie Bucco's restaurant. I got her that.

And there was a problem about she
couldn't work Tuesdays...

...because of her babysitting
commitment.

And Artie didn't try to understand,
so she left.

Then the babysitting family
disappeared to Nantucket.

Then something else fell through,
and then, and then, and then.

So she's regressing.

If she keeps it up,
she'll be back in the womb.

Over the course of a child's life...

...there's a constant moving away
and coming back.

Security versus freedom.

But what I find interesting,
and that's if I hear you right...

...is that at the age of 19, she actually
wants to stay close to home.

Well, see, that's what
I was gonna say.

- She did have someone close die.
- Jackie.

But she brings that up whenever you ask
her to clean up after herself or whatever.

- That she's traumatized.
- He was shot to death.

Yeah, it's tragic, that kid.

- It was some kind of drug deal, you said?
- Exactly, yeah, yeah. All the earmarks.

No, it's gotta be tough.

Then again, they'd been broken up,
and he wasn't nice to her.

- It may be a manipulation in part...
- She's got a hard-on about Columbia.

"It's so competitive."

But it doesn't mean that her pain
over Jackie's death isn't real.

Has she said to you or Carmela
she's depressed?

Oh, come on with that shit.
She's gonna be all right.

Maybe she should be on medication.

And her anger is focused
on Carmela, not on you?

I catch some shit.

But me and Med, we were
always close. Even in that...

...15-year-old period, you know?

When she could hardly
stomach Carmela?

Well...

...you are the dad.

The template for all future lovers.

She loves me.

I know that.

Since she was a tiny baby.

Might be helpful if she saw someone.

Dr. Wendi Kobler.

She's an adolescent psychologist
and an educational consultant.

Well, what do you mean? Talk about
private family stuff like I do here?

- With you?
- Yes.

Look, like you said,
she's going back to school.

She's gonna be with her college pals,
back to the grindstone.

That's all good shit.

I thought you had
final registration today.

Technically, drop-and-add
goes on for the next three weeks.

Well, still, shouldn't you
register for the classes...

...you know you want
so you don't lose them?

Look, I decided to take a year off.

You what?!

And do what, loaf around the house?

Actually, I'm going to Europe,
with Misty.

What are you talking about?

Look, Mom, I'm just not ready.

If I go back now,
I'll have to meet with advisers...

...who will at least want me
to declare a major...

...or independent course of study.
I'll have that to deal with.

And obviously, you don't
want me around here.

That is not what I said at all.

You think I don't want you here?

She knows what I fucking make.
Who am I, Bill Gates?

I already support the kids.

You're the bartender. You're supposed
to listen to my problems.

Yeah.

Hey, Ton, sorry I'm late. What's up?

You tell me. I got a call
from Jack Massarone.

Massarone Construction?
A very angry call.

The M-80 in the Porta-Pot.
I told Benny...

Don't fuck with me on this.

- The fiber-optic shit.
- You knew it was boosted?

No. Well, yeah, I mean,
Patsy mentioned some...

Jesus Christ, if I wanted
Patsy in charge...

Use your fucking head, Christopher.

I'm sorry, T, I thought I was.

By drawing heat
to a quarter-billion-dollar job?

Think, Christopher, think.
The big fucking picture, huh?

Aren't they insured?

She's nice, Janice, you know?
Not my usual type, but...

Her hair, it's pretty. Pre-Raphaelite
they call it, with the curls.

Nothing but net, motherfucker.

She does have an earthy quality,
give her that.

It's those big tits.

No disrespect.

Of course, there's
the issue of her family.

Making her happy wouldn't be the worst
thing in the world for my career.

Game.

Where you going?

- Come on, Ralph, I'm tired.
- Come on, one more.

Come on.

Come on, a little fucking defense, huh?

Hook shot.

Oh, thank God. Where is that number
of the therapist that Melfi gave you?

- Why? What happened?
- She's going to Europe, your daughter.

She's dropping out of school,
going all over the place on a Eurailpass.

- Is she fucking kidding?
- Apparently not.

Her passport from going to
the Bahamas is still valid.

- Where is she?
- I don't know, down the shore.

I suppose all these parties she goes to
are all memorials for Jackie Jr?

- Tony, please, with the yelling.
- You still online?

Yes, as a matter of fact, I am.

- So, what the fuck's in Europe?
- I don't know. Experience.

Real life. Art.

I knew this constant harping on art
was gonna cause trouble.

Gonna work in publicity or something.

Some friend of Misty's
is making a movie in Denmark.

I think we should call that therapist.

She's going back to school.
They got counselors there.

Better ones. Ivy League ones.

- No fucking way she's going to Europe.
- Fine.

Maybe they don't have to talk.
Maybe they're...

...the kind of couple that doesn't
have to talk constantly.

- One beer left?
- Danielle was over. We had pizza.

I figured out what's wrong with
that broad, and it's some bad shit.

What's the matter, baby?

Tony again?

I owe this guy a lot,
but he's a fucking jerk sometimes.

Like he never heard
of a learning curve.

You know what?

I'm gonna get high.

Christopher, I thought you were gonna
stop using junk because of your new job.

I am.

This is my goodbye party with heroin.

You wanna do a hit?

I don't know.
I did some blow at the club.

It's funny with Tony.
It's like Danielle was saying...

...how we send food
to the poorer countries.

- No good deed goes unpunished.
- What is it with you and this girl?

- What, I can't have friends?
- You're amazing, you know that?

With all of your intelligence,
you never see the big picture.

- You met her where?
- At the mall. So?

Think, Adriana, think.

Girl like that. Ass like that.

She don't have a boyfriend,
she don't like Paulie.

- Oh, like he's Jude Law.
- Yeah, whatever.

Are you that fucking blind?

- She's a dyke.
- No.

You think?

Use your head, huh?
It's a quarter-billion-dollar job.

- My head? It was your idea.
- Excuse me?

When the kid there, Vito,
told you how expensive the shit was...

...I don't know, you gave me a look.

A look?

So now you're a fucking
mind reader now?

Hey, it won't happen again. Christo...

Stop now, it'll be that much harder
to get back on track.

Your mother's right.

Just out of curiosity, what are
you planning on using for money?

Cheap Tickets is running a sale.

I can cash in the bonds Nana gave me,
and most likely, I'll be working.

Oh, yeah, some student film.

It's not a student film.
It's a feature on DV cam.

Alvar hangs out with Dogma.

He got honorable mention at the
Winnipeg Film Festival last year.

Oh, forget money,
what about security?

You think traipsing around
Europe's a smart move?

Like Europe's any less safe than here?

Look, you don't seem to get it.
I keep having images of Jackie Aprile...

...lying in a pool of his own blood
in some street somewhere.

So, what, French discos drive
away all sad thoughts?

What, Mom, you've never heard
of the restorative nature of travel?

Read Henry James.

Why does every college have junior year
abroad if there isn't a need for it?

Then why don't you wait for
junior year. It's eight months.

- Because I need it now.
- You wanna go to Europe? Go.

Clear your head.

Do whatever it is the hell
they do over there.

Thank you, I will.

Don't you think she should talk
to someone first? A counselor, maybe?

The college of hard knocks
is what she needs.

See how she likes it
when a gypsy lifts her wallet.

You can't work there
without a permit...

...which the French
hang on to like their balls.

Thank you for that united front.

The more we fight,
the more she's gonna wanna go.

She's going, Tony. I don't understand you
with this flip-flop.

She'll meet other boys. Maybe an actual
Italian one. Jackie will stop playing...

- You'd want her married to a foreigner?
- Married, no. Jesus.

Although, look at Furio.
What's so bad about him?

Do what you want, Tony.

I am not gonna stand idle
while she throws her education away.

What are you gonna do?

She's not gonna take this step
without talking to somebody.

Come on.

Dr. Melfi's person
is an educational consultant.

Maybe she can explain
to Meadow how dropping out now...

...is not gonna look at all good
to medical schools.

We could use an ally here, Tony.

Some adult, besides us, to toe the line
for accountability and responsibility.

So maybe you go on
an antidepressant to tide you over.

You're not paying for it.

I don't know, maybe.

Anyway, it was supposed
to be his funeral.

- Jack's.
- And they all stood around drinking...

...and blubbering at these egregious,
saccharine, fucking Italian ballads.

It was revolting.

- After I left the restaurant, I vomited.
- You were drinking?

I smoked a joint with my friends too.

Well, that's okay.

As long as you didn't
deliberately purge.

When I asked you earlier what
Dad does for a living, you said:

"Waste management, wink-wink."
What does "wink-wink" mean?

Okay.

He's like...

You know.

You mentioned Jack's father
was in the Mafia.

I didn't realize your dad was too.

There's no such thing as the Mafia.

I said Jackie's dad was a loan shark.

How did Dad react when he heard
Jack had been killed?

He was pretty upset.

He used to tell Jackie all the time,
"Don't get involved, stay in school."

Get involved?

With what?

Drugs.

Right. The X.

So Dad was a positive force
in Jack's life?

Jackie.

Yeah.

You don't like talking much
about Dad, do you?

It doesn't bother me.

Meadow, I'm gonna ask you
a question about Dad.

This may be very painful for you.

Did Dad ever molest you?

No.

I don't tell them
what we discuss, Meadow.

Gee, I don't think so.

- What about Mom?
- God, no.

Unless you consider obsessing about
my fucking GPA an assault, which I do.

Well, she has to learn that education
is a lifelong process.

- That's what I told them.
- A college degree is a nice thing, sure...

...but not at the sake
of emotional well-being.

That's exactly what I said.

Perhaps they should examine their
own needs to have you stay in school.

Blow off their self-esteem issues.

So you book on Columbia,
you can come back when you're ready.

Or I could write you a letter
to the University of Barcelona.

It's a hot school.

I'm on a consultancy there.

- Busy out there?
- Bachelor party.

Some asshole just slipped
on a lime wedge.

So I was talking to Patsy.

Sounds like Chrissy's got
a little Napoleon thing going on.

Yeah?

Good.

Right. Of course.

Nobody's denying
his leadership abilities.

So, what's the problem?

It's just...

I don't know. Patsy feels bad,
maybe he was passed over.

So, what the fuck do you care?

Last year, you were pushing me
to take him out.

I'm just saying, with the change
of rank and all, maybe he feels...

...marginalized.

Marginalized?

What the fuck does that even mean?

I like your pants. Leather?

Yeah, I got them at Bebe.

Fucking packed tonight.

Let's celebrate.

No, I'm gonna stick
with the champagne.

Oh, it's primo shit, Dannie.
We got an awesome connection.

It's okay.

So I was thinking, right?

What we do is start our own group.

I'll be the singer,
and you two can back me up.

- Please.
- Right.

What? It's so hard to rap?

My bitch, my ho
My ho, my bitch, my bitch-bitch

- What? It's a joke?
- Stop.

- You don't wanna back me up?
- Stop.

God.

- That's gorgeous.
- Isn't it?

Christopher gave it to me.

Yeah, you like it, huh, baby?

- What are you doing?!
- What?

- I'm gonna go.
- What? Hang out. What's the matter?

I'll call you tomorrow, Ade.

- You piece of fucking shit.
- Oh, what the fuck?!

I saw you. What'd you think,
you were gonna fuck the two of us?!

- You and those fucking videos.
- She came on to me!

She took my hand,
she was rubbing it on herself.

- Bullshit.
- Yeah?

Right before you came over, she was
telling me where she buys her pants.

Her underwear.
Fucking Bebe's. Like I give a fuck.

- You said she was gay.
- Who knows what her problem is?

A broad like her will fuck a snake.
Use your head, huh?

What do I want with that skank
when I got you?

You were saying she had a nice ass.

I was trying to say something positive
because she's your friend.

Come here.

What have I been telling you
about this pucchiacca, huh?

She's trying to fuck us up, Adriana.

And what we have is stronger
than any of that shit.

I'm sorry.

Son of a fucking bitch.

What happened to the Krazy Glue?

Somebody left the top off.
It dried out.

- What'd you want?
- Nothing, really.

But you should see
the floor tiles, though.

That got delivered to the job site?
Mexican travertine.

Johnny Sposato will take that shit.

No more dipping at the job
according to fucking Alfalfa.

But the order comes down
from Tony.

- Go ahead.
- What?

Knock off the tile?

- If Tony says no?
- I got your back.

Tony will be fine with it.

Hey.

The rotor on the washing machine broke.
Carm said I could use yours.

Clean out the filter this time.
Disgusting.

So how's your love life?

Why don't you mind your business.

Feels like it is my business,
considering I had to haul...

...your last boyfriend out of
your kitchen in a Hefty bag.

You're a miserable fuck,
you know that?

- You're just like Ma.
- Oh, yeah?

Yeah, really. With your condescension
and your sabotage.

For your information,
Ralph is a great guy.

Trust me, I got more information
than I need about Ralphie.

It's always something, Tony.

You threatened because
he has a sense of style?

- Sense of style?
- Ralph Lauren? Collegiate?

Let me ask you a question, Janice.
Do I know this guy better than you?

Because I'm telling you,
he's no good.

My happiness really drives you
crazy, doesn't it, Tony?

This reorganization of the bureau
could be good for both of us.

- Lilac Personal Shopping.
- Five fucking messages, Danielle?

Can't you take a hint?
Stop fucking calling here.

- Sweetie, don't be like that.
- Sweetie, bullshit.

- You're lucky I don't rip your ass.
- I thought we were friends.

Did you take his hand
off your leg? Did you?

- I tried.
- Bullshit.

And don't ever fucking
call me anymore.

Four fucking months of work.

Maybe if we let her cool off.

She thinks I tried to seduce
her fianc?, Dwight.

- Little shit bag that he is.
- What now?

Do we set someone else up?

And waste another five months getting
in close? Her guard will be up anyway.

I think we should consider
the undercover op a dead issue.

Let's just bring her in straight up.

Still in all, good work, Ciccerone.

Yeah, right. Thanks.

You know what the problem is, right?

She gave Moltisanti a hard-on.

So, what do we do?
Hire only schifosas?

You know, I had a dream
about her the other night.

Tony!

Tony!

Oh, this boring cocksucker.

Jehovah's Witnesses
are more interesting.

Jack, how's your balls?
What are you doing here?

Yeah, I got a foursome
with some city engineers.

- You got a sec?
- Yeah, sure.

- Artie Bucco, Jack Massarone.
- Sure, you been in my restaurant.

- Problem with the stracciatelli, right?
- Yeah.

Come.

- It's all right.
- Listen, I don't mean to be a pest...

...but your guys...
I'll take care of that.

This is not the fiber optics.
I'm talking about the floor tiles.

- What floor tiles?
- Last night, somebody hijacked a trailer.

The truck crushed a shed
on its way out too.

Christopher, my mother's expecting us.

Hoho!

Look what the cat dragged in.

Fucking greedy cocksucker.
You had to come back for more, huh?

- Fucking floor tiles now.
- You little fucking prick.

- Come on. Come on.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, relax, fellas.

- Mind your own fucking business.
- What did I say?

I distinctly told you to lay off
this fucking job.

Talk to Silvio! He gave the order,
you stupid fuck.

Yeah? What did you call me, huh?

That's right. That's right.
Little fucking tough guy, huh?

- You bastard.
- Chris, come on.

You work for me, not fucking Silvio.
I told you to knock it off.

I'm calling the police.

Don't think I forgot about you going
through my fianc?e's underwear.

- That wasn't me, you fucking jerk.
- We'll see, huh?

So...

...who the fuck are you?
Ralph Bunche over here?

- Hey, hey, hey.
- You motherfucker.

- Oh, my God.
- Pat! Pat!

- Let me go.
- Get out of here. Let's get out of here.

Get him to a fucking hospital.
Make sure he keeps his mouth shut.

Keep your fucking mouth shut.

For right, he's the one.

I never said they shouldn't get engaged.

Mom.

Hi, can I have a tuna san?

- Will you hang up that phone, please?
- Excuse me?

Can I call you back?

- Did you go to see Dr. Kobler?
- Yeah.

- Well, what did you talk about?
- I don't have to tell you or Dad.

It's confidential.

This is what we pay $200 for?

It was your idea. I only saw her
out of a gesture of goodwill.

Tony!

I don't know what you're
so upset about.

It's my right to go to Europe.
That's what she said.

I don't care what she said.
She's totally irresponsible.

What?

The therapist told her it is her right
to go to Europe.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

She actually thinks
this is a good idea...?

She actually thinks
this is a good idea?

She said it's no big deal. I can pick up
my education wherever, whenever.

- Oh, really?
- Wendi can get me into school...

...in Barcelona if I decided to stay.

- Who's Wendi?
- Dr. Wendi Kobler.

Barcelona.

I could take Melfi's head
and crush it like a walnut.

- I feel battered.
- I've gotta get to the salon.

Did you tell Wendi that you
didn't work all summer?

Wait, you're right.

I forgot to mention the pivotal role
of the work ethic in this family.

You can lose that smart mouth
right now.

Or what? What is this, Afghanistan?

I'm over 18 now. I'm a grown woman.
I can do what I want.

All right! Jesus, God, we know that.
Is that your only point here?!

Because just getting what you want
is for babies, not adults.

It may interest you to know she also
thinks I should be on Prozac.

- She does?
- She said that?

Jackie was murdered.
I know you think...

...it's nothing that the Columbia/Army
game wouldn't cure.

- That is so unfair.
- All right, look.

I've been thinking about this.

Now, you're a smart girl.
The right move for you is to wait.

Just till next year, maybe.

You know what I don't
understand, Dad?

- You were all in favor of me going.
- Your mother doesn't want it.

Wow, listen to Mr. Mob Boss.

- What did you call me?
- All this fucking pussyfooting around.

Years now. Why don't we just
get it all out there.

- Tony...
- Shut up.

You got something you
wanna say to me?

- What do you mean?
- What do I mean? What do you mean?

All these innuendoes.
You inferring to me that I didn't do...

...everything I could to keep that kid
from fucking himself up?

That, yeah, knowing him
and his family...

...that I didn't try to be a better dad to
him than his own dad, God rest his soul?

That I didn't try to protect Jackie Jr?
That I didn't smack him around...

...because I was so frustrated?
Is that what you're trying to tell me?

I'm through telling people you help
with environmental cleanup.

That's not what I asked.

Like you could talk honestly
for three seconds...

You try me!

I made my plans. I'm going to Europe,
and I'm getting the fuck out of here!

- You've been told no.
- Watch me.

Don't do it! I'm warning you,
do not do it.

Do it for Mommy. That's a good girl.

Adriana La Cerva?
I'm Special Agent Dwight Harris, FBI.

I believe you two have already met.

- Holy fucking shit.
- Don't make a scene.

- You don't wanna attract attention.
- You're in the fucking FBI?

We need to talk.
It'll only take a half-hour.

- I assure you it's in your best interest.
- Could you come with us, please?

- My dog.
- It's okay. Just take her with you.

Am I under arrest?

Not at this time, but that can
all change momentarily.

your office, your club, your cocaine.

- It's not my cocaine.
- Really?

- That's not what I have on tape.
- You were fucking taping me?

If I were you, I'd put aside
my hurt feelings for a while.

I told you shit in confidence that
had nothing to do with any of this shit.

Things I never told no one.

We're offering you a way out, Ade.

A chance to save your life
and Christopher's life.

You don't give a fuck about us.
You and your fucking ob-gyn doctor.

You wanted me
and Christopher together...

...long enough
so you could find shit out.

We understand your fianc?
is moving up in the world.

- Or down, as the case may be.
- Problems at the Esplanade site.

Oh, my God.

We're not asking you
to wear a wire.

We're not asking you to testify.
We just want information.

Is your name even Danielle?

What if I say no?

If you say no, you'll be placed
under arrest...

...and charged with possession
and intent to distribute cocaine.

A charge that carries with it a penalty
of up to 25 years in prison.

Oh, my God.

After you make bail
you can explain to Tony Soprano...

...why you brought an undercover
federal agent into his home.

- My God.
- We'll never hear about it, though.

Chances are you and Christopher
will just disappear.

Get the wastebasket.

Come on.

Ton, I left three messages,
are you okay?

You look like shit.

I didn't sleep too good.

It's Meadow.

I don't know, we think
maybe she ran off to Europe.

- Europe?
- Yeah.

- So you got a minute?
- Who's that?

Nobody, go back to sleep.

- Oh, hey, Sil.
- How you doing, hon?

This floor-tile shit. Misunderstanding.

Patsy. Christopher.

It's a huge job, Sil.

Lot of money at stake.

You of all people should know that.

What, are you mad at me now?

You know, you're getting to be a
very strange man in your old age.

What?

I'm just asking.

Is it a hanging offense or not?

- Did you deliberately disobey me?
- Of course not.

Because Patsy says you gave the okay.

- This is after Chrissy talked to him.
- The time line got fucked up.

- We go back a long way, Sil.
- Indeed we do.

If, in any way, you feel like
Chrissy usurped you...

...or anything like that,
and you're trying to ream me...

That's not how it is.

Fine.

The whole thing...

...a misunderstanding.

A truckload of floor tiles.

You should be looking
at what, 30 grand?

Should be about 2 grand there.
I'll have the rest for you later.

I know you will.

What? You catch some shrapnel?

Intro to Social Theory is...
Sorry, it's closed out.

You're cutting it a little close
for most of the popular classes.

- What about this one?
- 09531?

It's your lucky day.

Hey.

I've been thinking, and if you want...

...we can talk to your cousin Brian
about the estate planning.

Listen to him now.
What, do you feel guilty?

You have nothing
to feel guilty about.

It's me she blames.

What for?