The Sopranos (1999–2007): Season 3, Episode 3 - Fortunate Son - full transcript

MAN: A guy that really understands
you people. And that really frightens me.

Hey, while there have been some turnover
in the elite teams of last year...

...one thing remains consistent,
the Eagles.

The Cowboys have remained
fairly healthy this year...

(BEEPER)

- Come on, don't answer it. You just got in.
- I have to. It's football season.

Oh, come on. There is no game tonight.

- Paulie, what's up?
- Forget that betting.

- I was making cheese dogs for you.
- Why, what's going on?

Okay.

All right.

I'll be there.

Chrissy!

Plus it was a bitch
getting off of work tonight.

- Adriana, I think this could be it.
- What?

He told me to look sharp and
meet him at Modell's in half an hour.

He told me to shine my shoes.

Oh, my God. Christopher!

Find me a shirt and tie to go with this.
Not the camellia. Paulie's got one just like it.

I can't believe it. I mean,
I knew it would happen, but...

So now can we get out of here, you know?
Get a big loft, maybe?

- You're giving notice today.
- You wish.

The wife of a made guy doesn't hostess.

I'm so proud of you.

- I love you, Christopher.
- You better.

- What?
- I don't know.

You getting called like this and
going off all happy. I worry, that's all.

You've seen too many movies.

- How you doing, kid?
- Good.

No, no, no. Ride up front.

Where we going?

You look good. Shoot your cuffs.

Where we going, Sil?

Here he is.

So this is it.

All right.

He sat on one ass cheek
the whole way over!

- Too many fucking movies, that's his problem.
- Bullshit, I sat funny.

All right. Let's get started. Come on.

PAULIE: All right, finish up over there.

TONY: All right, you know
why we're here.

So if you've got any doubts or reservations,
now's the time to say so.

No one will think any less of you.

Because once you enter this family,
there's no getting out.

This family comes before
everything else. Everything.

Before your wife, and your children,
and your mother and your father.

It's a thing of honor.

And God forbid, if something happens
and you can't earn...

...we'll take care of you,
because that's part of it.

If you got a problem,
you just gotta let somebody know.

This man right here,
he's like your father.

It doesn't matter if it's with
somebody here or on the outside...

...you bring it to him, he'll solve it.

You stay within the family.

All right, give me your hand.

Okay.

That's St. Peter, my family saint.
Now, as that card burns...

...so may your soul burn in hell
if you betray your friends in the family.

Now rub your hands together like this
and repeat after me.

- May I burn in hell...
- May I burn in hell...

...if I betray my friends.
...If I betray my friends.

Congratulations.

Beautiful.

- My fucking heart's still pounding.
- You been doing good with the sports book.

- Yeah, it's been good.
- I'm gonna give it to you, my boy. It's yours.

- I was wondering what it was gonna be.
- You're a made guy now.

It's your turn to make some real money,
and I get to relax a little.

Your only problem in life now is you give me
10 points of your take every settle-up day.

Other than that, you got no problem.

My only problem in life? I gotta kick
my points to that man over there.

And onward goes this thing of ours.

When you think of all the headaches
most human beings have in life...

...ours are all boiled down to only one.
Not a bad deal, huh?

You got it.

Only thing, there's a six-G
minimum every week.

I gotta get something out of this.
But six grand, that could be a lot or a little.

Depends on you, and how
much you grow the business.

I love you, Paulie.
We're in it together now.

I love you too, kid.

Anything on the Riverfront Esplanade project
in Newark?

My guy says the matching funds
are this close.

The development agency, they added plans
for a Newark Museum of Science and Trucking.

More cement. More everything.

Answer the fucking thing.

So you feeling okay?

Oh, you mean about my mother?
Well, I mean, what're you gonna do?

- You pick up the pieces and go on.
- I meant your spells.

They're not spells.

How do you know about that in New York?

Everybody knows.
There's nothing to be ashamed of, Tony.

- For chrissakes, Julius Caesar was an epileptic.
- I'm not an epileptic.

Whatever it is, you gotta take care of yourself.
It's your health.

- Is the psychiatrist helping?
- Oh, you know about that too.

So what?
There's no stigmata these days.

My kid saw a shrink. He got
court-ordered for that thing with his wife.

- They're very happy now.
- Whatever happened to privacy?

Our family's been doing our Jersey business
a long time with the Sopranos.

In a peaceful and profitable way.
And I wanna keep it like that. Take care of this.

- All right, Carmine.
- Why fuck around? Be a better friend to yourself.

I will.
I appreciate your concern. Really.

Jayne was determined to bust
into the business, so to speak.

Hollywood folklore has it that she
called Paramount Pictures and said:

"My name's Jayne Mansfield
and I wanna be a movie star."

Nowadays you get a dial tone.
But back in 1954...

You got a phone call
from some young kid.

- Drew. Asked when you were coming home.
- How'd he sound?

Like he was about 15 years old.

- Wait. Is that your so-called fiancé?
- He's 19, actually, and he can go all night.

When are you going back to Seattle,
Janice?

It depends on how long it takes
to settle Ma's estate.

Estate? A falling-down house
and some old-lady underwear.

- Sad, isn't it? What it all comes down to.
- Janice, you know how much we love you.

And you know how much
we love having you around.

But there's a whole big house over there.
And I know you want maximum value.

So maybe for security reasons, or so it don't
fall into disrepair, you could stay there.

I been thinking the same thing.
I just don't wanna push Svetlana out.

Yeah, well, I talked to her. She's moving out
tomorrow, maybe the next day.

- Really?
- Yeah.

Great.

I better go pack.

Jesus Christ. Let me come around.

How you doing, Roy?

Congratulations.

Hector, large Old Blue Eyes for this
gentleman. Soft drinks of choice.

Look.

- Take away Tony Soprano, he's a zero with shoes.
- He's wearing a stripe now.

- My uncle Richie was gonna...
- Yeah, but he never did.

- Chris. My propers.
- Dino.

Hey, Benny.

Congratulations.

- When'd you get out, Benny?
- D.A. tossed it. The witness bailed.

- So, Jackie, how's Rutgers?
- Fuck that. I'm dropping out.

Come on. "Boola Boola."

We were just talking about our former
alma mater. They got the coffeehouse.

It's a pure cash operation.
And the beauty part is...

...I mean, who's gonna stop you?
Kids? Campus security?

What are you telling him about that?
That's ours.

- Watch where the fuck you're going!
- Kiss my ass!

Take that shit outside!
Don't disrespect the pizza parlor.

- Fucking asshole! I know where you live!
- You hear what I said?

Yo, it was good talking to you, Chris.
Keep Dino in mind.

I don't wanna sound like an asshole, but
I can't be seen in a place like this anymore.

All right.

This has gotta start showing results
or end.

Now, I talked to a business associate,
a man I respect, about these panic attacks.

Enough fucking around.
Enough money in your pocket.

What's the story here?

The latest treatment of Panic Attack
Syndrome is a three-pronged approach.

So it's a syndrome?

Medication to treat the depression,
psychotherapy...

...and cognitive behavioral therapy.

We've got you on medication.

If you feel you're ready,
you could see a behaviorist.

- You mean talk to somebody else?
- You seem unhappy with my approach.

If you're really ready to commit
to mental health, I say great.

Let's get going, I'm ready to help.

But we'll have to delve deeper. Focus.

This latest incident, for starters.

All right. Fine.

My daughter brought home a black.

They were on the couch, watching TV.
Snuggling.

And?

And she went upstairs, and I had a
frank conversation with Buckwheat.

You know? I told him to stay the fuck
away from my daughter.

And she came downstairs and they left.

And then you had the attack?

Well, no, not right then. I went to the kitchen
to fix a sandwich, I opened the cabinet...

...I saw a box of Uncle Ben's rice.
Boom!

I see. The rice logo.

The first onset of hyperventilation,
that occurred upon seeing the rice?

No, no. I was taking the capocollo
and shit out of the fridge.

I'm thinking when you first came here,
the panic attack with ducks...

...as I remember it,
you were grilling meat, weren't you?

The memory on you.

- Sausages, wasn't it?
- Sausages. Steaks. Yeah.

Let's get back to that capocollo.

I gotta take that. My busy season.

Yeah?

Fifty?

That's pretty rich for one game.

All right. If he's good for it, take it.

But keep me posted on Duke-Wake Forest.

All right.

Sorry.

Where were we?

The connection between
your anxiety attacks and meat.

Right.

What was it again?

Closing Ohio State, guys.
They're kicking off.

- Who you like? Iowa?
- No difference, as long as it pays out.

Chris, fuck. Oregon vs. USC?

See, I told you we should have
fucking laid off some of that action.

Spread's 11. Oregon's down by 12,
they're on the 45-yard line, no timeouts.

Oregon's got an
All-American fucking field-goal kicker.

Why didn't somebody tell me?

- See?
- And it's good!

Forty-three yarder.

USC, that spread could've opened at 18,
fucking top-10 team!

Even so, we should have laid off some
of the action. Paulie did it all the time.

You see him here?

(PHONES RINGING)

What's the matter with you people?
You deaf? Answer the fucking phones!

- Minor setback, that's all.
- Oh, yeah?

- The frost is on the pumpkin.
- Supposed to warm up again.

Good football weather.

Mom said to tell you she's waiting for the meat.

- Did Jackie Jr. show yet?
- I don't know.

- Little fuck promised his mother he'd be here.
- Watch your language in front of my kid.

Probably keeping a booth warm
at the O.F., him and Dino Zerilli.

What's Jackie Jr. doing? I promised his
old man I'd try to keep him out of this shit.

- He's the heir apparent.
- Not this kid.

Do me a favor. You watch out for Jackie, okay?

You ought to turn that one link there.

Little setback, huh?

Ro, your kid's late.
He's being rude, he should be set straight.

He'll be here. I paged him.
Honey, the poor kid lost his dad.

I lost mine when I was 6.

Ralph had to drop out in the 11th grade
to raise his brothers and sisters.

You'd never know it.

I'm Satan to this kid,
just because I'm in love with his mom.

- What are we talking about?
- Hey, A.J. The cheerleaders. Any hotties?

There's no cheerleaders
for freshman ball.

These are Mario Batali's string beans,
with Parmesan.

(PHONE)

- You are very late, young man.
- It's me.

- Meadow! Hi, babe.
- Who is it?

- It's Meadow. What are you doing?
- Nothing. What's going on there?

- Well, Sunday dinner.
- Yeah?

- You wanna talk to your father? He's outside.
- Burning a cross?

I'm not sure I know what you're driving at,
but I know now is not the proper time.

- Here, your brother wants to talk to you.
- No, I don't.

- Hello?
- Hey. What's up?

- Everybody's here. It's really boring.
- Is that Jackie?

It's not him. It's Meadow from school.

Hold on, call waiting. Hello?

- My mother there?
- Yeah. One minute.

Aunt Ro? Yeah, I gotta go.

Thank you.

- Jackie, where are you?
- I can't make it.

- We're all waiting. You promised.
- Fuck it.

The way he talks to me...

You know what? I'll bring it up to Tony,
maybe he'll talk to him.

(SNORING)

Paulie?

What time is it?

That's almost all of it. Warren
probably told you about Oregon-USC.

- This is unacceptable.
- It's $4000, Paulie.

- I'll have the rest in a couple days.
- I thought I made myself clear.

Fucking college ball.
But I learned a valuable lesson.

I'm not running a school here, kid.

Paulie, this is me.
You know I'm good for it.

Don't fucking drag in our friendship.
This isn't about that. You work for me.

- Yeah, I want to...
- Just shut your mouth and listen.

I'll give you a few days...

...but it'll cost you another two G's
as a reminder not to fuck it up.

I make myself clear?

And don't give me the malocchio.
I'm not the one with the short bag.

Any word from your Ivy Leaguer?
And how's Carm with the empty nest?

What empty? Meadow's always home
with laundry or hauling food out.

All that talk, she didn't go far.

We created too nice a home life.
They don't wanna go out in the world.

But, hey, if they're closer to us than we
were with our parents, is that bad?

- What time is it?
- I'm here, aren't I?

- Out of respect to my father.
- I gotta make two phone call.

Sit down.

- You want something to eat?
- I'm not hungry.

That's too bad. I said lunch meeting.

You want a drink?

Lose the glasses.

I'm gonna say a few things.

I'm gonna say some bad words,
and you're just gonna have to deal with it.

Now, I know what you're thinking.
You're thinking I clipped your uncle.

On the one hand, you'd be a shithead
to believe me when I told you I didn't do it.

But I didn't.

And I got some bad news for you.
Look at me.

Look at me.

- Your uncle was a rat.
- No fucking way!

Sit down. Sit down. Sit the fuck down.

Your uncle was a rat, and now he's
in the Witness Protection Program.

- That's my father's brother you're talking about.
- I'm a member of your family, almost.

You think I'm the only one
that knows this about Richie?

You ask anybody. This hurt all of us.

Jesus Christ.

Your dad and me,
you know how close we were?

He never wanted this for you.
He wanted you to be a doctor.

Give me a fucking break.

Let me tell you something. Besides
the money, doctor's a very powerful position.

I'm no doctor.

You know how hard you have to work
to get your MD? How many years it takes?

I was even thinking maybe osteopathy,
but I don't think I have the grades for that even.

You're not gonna drop out of Rutgers,
are you?

No. But those fucking premed courses
almost killed me.

I only did it because my dad was sick.

But you should know,
he never wanted this life for you.

And I'll tell you something.
I don't want it for my son either.

Hut!

Come on! Let's go, I wanna see
you hit them! Get off the ball!

Fourth and three and this cetriolo
is going for it? With that offensive line?

And why's my kid still sitting on the bench?

The coach will let him in. Freshman rules,
they all get to play one quarter.

Pucillo in for Sposato!

Hey, Pucillo played already! Put my kid in!

It's the rules.

Hut!

(WHISTLING)

I told you they wouldn't make it.

Are you fucking crazy, ref?
Are you fucking crazy? What?

What did you say? No!
Come here and say that to me!

- Romano. The periodontist.
- Get off the field, you asshole!

I'll rip your fucking heart out!

- Look. Anthony's going in.
- All right, A.J!

Okay, defense, 41 stack.

- A.J! Stick them, baby!
- Stick them! Do it!

- Fumble!
- Fumble!

(CHEERING)

Up! Up! Everybody up! Wait, get up.

Red ball.

(CHEERING IN SLOW MOTION)

It's A.J! Yeah!
Yeah! Good job, A.J!

Good job, good job. Yeah!

Hey! Hey!

That's my son.

You got a nose for the ball,
and that can't be taught.

The defensive lineman, you gotta
have leverage and footwork.

I remember staying after practice every day,
hitting that sled till my shoulder was raw.

But then you gotta reward yourself.

So I'll take you to Stewart's
and buy you some dogs.

I just wanna go home.

You should be riding high after what
you did on the field today. Come on!

Wanna play some Nintendo? You and me?

When are you gonna throw that
thing out the freaking window?

- Why?
- Well, all right. Play Nintendo.

Okay, let's go to Stewart's.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

(PHONE)

- Yeah?
- I need you home, Tony, for dinner.

- Now? It's our busiest season.
- I know.

It's important with Meadow gone that we not
turn into a family who eats standing at the counter.

All right. I'll be there.

Pass the potatoes, please.

Anthony? The potatoes?

- Sorry.
- Every night.

Go ahead. Pour yourself another glass.

You need good bones
for those open-field tackles.

So...
How was everybody's day today?

Busy.

So Nana was asking me today
where you might wanna go to college.

- I don't know.
- West Point.

- West Point?
- Yeah, that's what you said.

- No, I didn't.
- You did. You were sitting right there.

- You said either Harvard or West Point.
- No way I'd ever have said that. I'd never get in.

- Can we eat with the TV on?
- No.

(PHONE)

I gotta take that. It's my busy season.

- Yeah?
- Mom there?

Hey, how are you?

Is Mom there?

- Yeah, she's here. How's school?
- Fine.

Is Mom there?

- Is that Meadow? Can I talk?
- Yeah, you can have her.

Hello?

Did you hear what happened
to Bobby Capodianco?

I feel bad. Taking your old room.

Don't worry about it.
You're all settled in.

You could sleep in your mother's room.

- Pass.
- Won't be for long.

Bill's children going to live with their
mother, end of week. I stay with him.

A few days is not a problem.
I'm glad I can help you out.

God knows my brother used to sleep
like a fucking dead man in there.

I'm sorry about how I behaved
at the cemetery.

Janice. I cannot give records back.

I wish you'd reconsider.

I know Livia left no will,
but possession is 9/10 of law.

Let's not descend into that.

Feeling in me is,
she is not here to ask.

I know. I'm sorry.
Just this is an emotional issue for me.

I thought that if we had the chance
to talk one-on-one...

...I could make you understand
how much those records mean to me.

Just promise me you'll sleep on it.

(DOOR CLOSING)

It was that bird!
It was that fucking bird in the window!

It was a coincidence.

I was making good jack at that betting parlor!
I was in the zone. Now everything turns to shit?

The bird thing is if it's in the house,
flapping around. And that's death, not bad luck.

- Will your mother loan me the money?
- She's still paying for her hysterectomy.

Where's that fucking bracelet I got you?

Why don't you get rid of
that stupid fucking Range Rover?

I'm sorry.

(BEEPER)

Jesus-fucking-Christ.

Janice! Janice! Janice!

Janice? Janice!

(In Russian)
Fucking whore.

May she burn alive.

Hello.

Hello, it's Svetlana.

That slut sow stole my leg.

- The fuck is this? You owe me $300!
- I ain't using. Chris, I got mugged...

That's it! I want my money!
I want my money!

Fuck!

(GROANING)

(KNOCKING)

- Janice call yet?
- No.

Hello, Tony.

- How have you been?
- What is she doing here?

She brings old leg.
Piece of shit, made in Russia.

I have losted weight,
cannot wear it no more.

Only an hour, then starts to hurt.

- I'm getting married. Did you know?
- You told me.

- Wish you all the best.
- She put into my Sprite three Halcyon.

I miss you so much, Tony.

Why don't we just stick to the subject?
Your cousin's missing a leg.

$20,000. That's how much it cost,
leg she took.

Flex foot, latest technology
with vertical shock pylon.

Plus, calfskin boot.

Kenneth Cole.

You don't even want to talk to me anymore.
I don't see why we can't be friends.

You know what? I don't even know what
I'm doing here, except you worked it this way.

- We could have talked about this on the phone.
- I'm sorry, Tony.

It's not your fault.

Look, I'm sorry about your leg.

I'll reach Janice.

- Janice put any food in there?
- No, but I have orange juice.

Plus there are two Miller Genuines.

And your mother's meat delivery
still is coming every week.

(SPEAKING RUSSIAN)

(RUSSIAN)

Southern California vs. Notre Dame.

We're in Indiana, where we have
a perfect football afternoon.

- See you next week.
- Thank you.

Talk about good timing.
I was just gonna call you, Johnny.

Oh, yeah?

(BELLS ON DOOR RINGING)

- Someplace we can talk in private?
- I'm kind of busy.

Gonna call.

Now you're busy.

- Something I could get you, Junior?
- No, I'm good.

It'll just take a minute.

Anthony, I told you
to wait in the car!

Listen to your old man, Anthony.

So, what were you gonna call me about?

I don't got it.

Weasely son of a bitch!

You got payments you can't make,
you come see me, work out a plan.

- I swear, I got a vendor owes me $300.
- Shut the fuck up!

Your wife's weekly order's all ready.
It's gotta be $30 worth of meat there.

Capocollo, chops
and a beautiful standing roast.

You gonna backtalk me?
Junior, get him over here.

No, wait, please!
What are you gonna do?

Anthony, what did I fucking tell you?!

What, your father never cut off
anybody's pinky?

That's traumatic for anyone
to witness, much less an 11 -year-old.

Actually, it wasn't.

It was a rush,
if you wanna know the truth.

- You want me to delve?
- Go on.

(MUSIC PLAYING)

Dinner's ready.

Come here.

Come on, I wanna talk to you.

What you seen today, Anthony,
a very sad thing.

You disobeyed your old man,
and I ought to give you the belt.

But I gotta say that...

...a lot of boys your age would have
run like a little girl. But you stayed.

I know you like Mr. Satriale.
We all do. He's a lovely man.

The man is a gambler.

He got over his head in debt.
He owed me money and refused to pay.

He avoided me.

That's why you should never gamble,
Anthony.

What was I supposed to do?

That's my livelihood.
It's how I put food on the table.

You should never gamble, Anthony.

Johnny, dinner's ready! Anthony!
Janice, turn that off.

Let this be a lesson to you.

A man honors his debts.

Beautiful cut he sent.

You like it standing
with the bone in, Lee?

Look at those juices.

(CROONING GENTLY)

Go, Wayne Newton.

Can I have the end piece?

Johnny, let's eat while it's still hot.

You bet, baby. The lady loves her meat.

Four stitches. Ruined dinner.

- This was your first panic attack?
- Fainted, that's what my old man called it.

Obviously, we've finally touched
on something here.

What you witnessed that day,
where the meat came from.

And your mother's great pleasure in it.

It was the only time
she'd be in a good mood...

...when the weekly meat delivery
from Satriale's showed up.

Or Fusco, the vegetable man, maybe.

Probably the only time
the old man got laid.

- Probably.
- Pretty sick, huh?

Getting turned on by free cold cuts?

Do you think that your mother
questioned why the meat was free?

The meat that was going
into her children's mouths?

I don't know. I don't wanna know.
I don't wanna think about any of this shit.

I'm sure it was too much for you then
too. That's why you short-circuited.

Puberty. Witnessing not only your
mother and father's sexuality...

...but also the violence and blood
so closely connected...

...to the food you were about to eat.

And also, the thought that someday...

...you might be called upon
to bring home the bacon.

- Like your father.
- All this from a slice of capocollo?

Kind of like Proust's madeleines.

- What?
- Marcel Proust.

Wrote a seven-volume classic,
Remembrance of Things Past.

He took a bite of a madeleine.

It's a kind of tea cookie
he used to have as a child.

And that one bite unleashed
a tide of memories of his childhood...

...and ultimately of his entire life.

This sounds very gay.
I hope you're not saying that.

No.

Understanding root causes will make you
less vulnerable to future episodes.

My fucking head is swimming here.

We're gonna have to stop.
It's a lot to process.

But we've made real progress today.
Good work.

And I'd really like you to write down
any thoughts or associations.

You see the left tackle?

He fakes inside,
and then gets a spin move on the guy.

Now he's charging the quarterback.
See?

- I thought the tailback had it.
- You gotta keep your eye on the ball.

The ball. That's what it's all about.

- Okay, I'm going.
- Where?

I gotta bring Med her biking shoes,
she's been missing my braciole.

- Can I come?
- Hey, we're watching the game.

I like going to the city.
I can catch the game in the car.

It's nice he wants to visit his sister.

- You're right. I'll get my shoes.
- Why don't you watch your game?

What, I shouldn't go now?

A.J., why don't you bring this stuff
out to the car?

This is about Sambo, right?
I'm paying for that goddamn college.

I don't know what's going on. But if you wanna
make a big scene at your daughter's new college...

...then comb your hair and come right along.
Embarrass her.

Alienate her. Or better yet, cut her off.

Let her drop out and go to a state
school. Or maybe move back in here.

I was just trying to protect her from herself.
And I'll do that till the day I die.

I'm not gonna tell you you can't come.
She's your daughter.

I'll probably watch the game.

(DOOR CLOSING)

(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)
Come on, find the open man!

You gotta throw the ball.

Let it rip, already!

ANNOUNCER: Garcia handing off
at the 40-yard line across to the 43.

I got your favorite
Santa Barbara olives.

Leave me the fuck alone.

Chicken shit cocksuckers. Go for the touchdown.
I need another five points to cover the spread.

Hi. Pardon me.

Here she is. Come on. Meadow!

We're here.

- Hi.
- Hi.

- This is my mom and my little brother, A.J.
- Hey.

- Dad didn't come?
- No, he didn't. Did you want him to?

- Noah, would you mind?
- Noah told me what Dad said to him.

- It's out in the open, so fuck this.
- Let's watch the latrine-lip.

Oh, well, what'd Dad say?

Anthony, would you go downstairs and
wait for me? I would like to talk to your sister.

- Oh, I know what he said.
- Go.

I'm always being sent away.
Why do I bother going anywhere?

- What did your father say?
- Like he didn't tell you. Please.

- Well, believe what you like...
- He called Noah things that are so ugly...

...I can't even repeat it.

- You're right. There's no excuse.
- He's lucky I didn't punch his fucking lights out.

- Because you're a civilized person.
- So this was gonna be a big drama?

You wanted your father to come here for what?
To subject your friend to this again?

Wait. So I'm in the wrong?

The rest of the world
should work around...

...his racist, retrograde,
fucking-asshole personality?

He comes from a place and a time
where he thinks it's in your best interest.

New Jersey? The third millennium?

Noah, I'm sure you must know
what I'm talking about.

Coming from a racially-mixed marriage
must have been a difficult burden.

Don't slam his family background.
Look what you wound up in!

Noah, would you excuse us a moment?
I want a word with my daughter.

I'm not going anywhere
unless she wants me to.

It's okay. I'll be up in a little while.

I would hate to think you're airing
your family's business in public.

Noah's not stupid.
It took him a while, but he caught on.

But he keeps his opinions to himself.

Unlike some people,
he's brilliant and sensitive.

I'll keep my mouth shut.

Anything I say to you
or your father will just fuel this.

I'm not gonna stop seeing Noah.

I put your helmet in there and your padded
shorts. Though I'd rather you not bike in the city.

If you must know, I'm going to
Litchfield, Connecticut...

...to the weekend home of Noah's
parents' friends, who work at NBC.

- But Hegel is talking about...

- Svetlana, get out here!
- Oh, hi.

You must be the famous Bill.
It's moving day, huh?

Oh, I didn't think you would have
the nerve to show your face to me.

- Why? What happened? What's wrong?
- Don't bullshit me. Where is my leg?

- Your leg? Oh, yeah, where's your...?
- I know you took it.

That's preposterous.
What possible use would I have for it?

Because you think that will make me
give records back, but you are wrong.

If you see some karmic connection
between your taking my mother's records...

...and the disappearance of your leg, wow!

The records return, and so does
the leg. I can see how you got there.

I don't know how you can live with yourself.

Bill, don't waste breath.

This cunt is gonna be sorry
she ever fuck with me.

You better hope you have all your shit
because I'm calling the locksmith.

Doc. Where's Dino?

- They got him for possession.
- Shit.

What do you care?

He mentioned that job over at Rutgers.
A coffeehouse.

Coffeehouse, shit. We were gonna
jack a benefit concert there tonight.

- Jewel and Amnesty International.
- You know the details?

- Can you make it work without Dino?
- It was my fucking idea.

I know this must be hard for you, Anthony.

Your sister off at college,
you here at home all by yourself with us.

But it won't be for long.

Pretty soon, you'll be heading
off to college yourself.

- I don't think I'm gonna go.
- What, college? Of course you will.

I don't wanna talk about it right now.

There's so many people there,
all smarter than me. A bunch of freaks.

What?

You're not excused!

- You're punished!
- He's all right.

Under no circumstances move this car
or your life will not be worth shit.

- Get me Jewel's autograph.
- You're a good kid.

I'll bring you her underpants.

- All goes in there, no one gets shot.
- Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

- You're robbing a benefit concert.
- Is that all there is?

I'll fucking blow your head off!

- Most people used student cards.
- Hey! What's going on, you?

Say one word on that fucking thing
and you're dead!

(SCREAMING)

(FEMALE SCREAMING)

Hit it!

There's your money.

- You ought to hit a tanning salon.
- I had a late night.

You gotta give that shit a rest.
A man needs his seven hours to keep sharp.

This was work. Little Jackie hyped us
to a score at Rutgers, not bad.

What's the matter, Chrissy?
Tell Uncle Paulie.

This being made isn't like I thought.
A lot of responsibilities.

- Fucking A. What did you think?
- You're only as smart as the week's lines.

One false move and you spend your time
chasing it, instead of making money.

Welcome to the NFL, rookie.
Go home, get some sleep.

Tomorrow's a new day.

Sorry I'm late. I had to make a few stops.

- Have a smelt.
- No.

We had a very good week
this week, boss.

- How's our little friend doing?
- He had a few knocks...

...but it came out all right.

Wait'll he hears the policy
on newly-made guys.

They're subject to strip search
for wires and shit.

He'll love that.

He had to augment his kick with a stickup
at Rutgers little Jackie put him onto.

Jackie Aprile?

- He did the thing in the papers?
- Don't worry. He was only the wheel man.

- I told Christopher to leave him the fuck out.
- I'm just telling you what I know.

(PHONE)

(PHONE AND BEEPER)

Don't be too hard on Chrissy.
He's having a hard enough time as it is.

Yeah, but what's wrong with the kid?
When's he gonna grow up?

- Where's Soprano?
- Here.

Guys, take a good look at Soprano here
and remember his performance last week.

Soprano's on the sidelines three whole quarters,
waiting. But does his mind go soft?

No. Does his fire go out? Heck, no.

When the call came,
he brought his A game.

This young man may have a big future.
He may be a leader.

And that's what it takes. And that's
why I'm naming him defensive captain.

All right! All right. So let's hit those showers,
one thought in mind...

Soprano! Soprano, you all right?