The Sopranos (1999–2007): Season 2, Episode 8 - Full Leather Jacket - full transcript
Rebellion by some of the lower soldiers ends in bloodshed, while Carmela starts intimidating her neighbors to help Meadow's chances at Georgetown.
(SOPRANOS THEME PLAYING)
While you slept, we found out
Hunter got into Reed.
- Sayonara!
- Can't you be happy for Hunter?
It's her first choice.
She'd die if she didn't get in.
Why do you think everything
has to do with me?
Because you didn't get in.
Anthony! Nobody is hearing
anything for months.
Hunter took early acceptance
to find out early.
That meant she could only
apply to one college.
Your sister has a lot of options.
Such as: Bowdoin, Holy Cross,
Georgetown...
Georgetown is a reach for me.
They'd be crazy not to want you.
If I can get in,
I can get into Berkeley.
- Over my dead body.
- There are more...
...Nobel Prize winners in the
San Francisco area than anywhere.
Nobel Prize for what? Packing fudge?
You know that you can go anywhere
you want to go to college.
But I'm not gonna pay for Berkeley.
I want to go to Harvard or West Point.
You may get to see them on TV,
but that's about it.
To go there you gotta crack the books.
(METAL CLANKING)
Stockings, Chris.
How many do you gotta sell...
...to pay the nut on this place?
How can I express how little
I give a fuck?
Sh! What's that?
Fucking rent-a-geek.
Want me to cave the rest
of your head in?
All right, that's bent enough.
Get the crowbar, pop the plate.
Without fail, every time
we're on a job...
The adrenaline affects everybody
differently.
Big Pussy Bompensiero,
he started out as a cat burglar.
One time he left a load so big,
cop thought a bear did it.
Bompensiero started off
chipping safes like this?
Until he stepped up for Soprano
during the unrest of '83.
Back then when you did something,
you got recognized.
When your time comes, you either
step up or you look for a new career.
Selling stockings door-to-door.
The Profile Toner is a wonderful,
affordable...
...easily used alternative
to undergoing facelift surgery.
The Profile Toner is great for
any age and body type...
...even for those hereditary
conditions you've given up on.
Carm...
Why don't you take a Xanax
or something?
What is this obsession with Berkeley?
Is she trying to get away from us?
Absolutely. That's her job.
Yeah, go ahead, laugh.
What if she gets into Berkeley
and not into Georgetown?
She's in the National Honor Society.
Don't be naive, Tony. Please.
How do you think Hunter
got into Reed?
Her uncle, that's how.
Him and his wife are graduates.
That's the only way that
freak's gonna get in.
Second baby boom.
Great SAT scores.
It's not enough anymore.
It's all who you know
or how many buildings you give.
What do you want me to do?
(POP MUSIC PLAYING)
(KNOCKING)
- He here?
- Hey!
Someone leave a cage open
at Turtleback Zoo?
Sit down, for chrissake.
I want to talk to you
about Beansie Gaeta.
- He may never walk again.
- Never say never.
No, say never. He's a shopping cart,
from here on out.
He gets home from rehab soon,
poor fucker.
- You should help him out.
- Help him out?
You should build him a ramp
for the wheelchair.
You know, make the place,
whatchamacallit? Handicap accessible.
Maybe when I'm there
I'll fuck his wife.
Come on.
You're a fucking captain now.
So exert some pressure.
Call that nephew of yours,
Vito, and the other one.
They're in the building trades.
- Wait, are you fucking serious?
- Richie, it's a gesture.
- The man has a lot of friends.
- You're out of your fucking minds.
Don't take that attitude, Richie
You're gonna build Beansie a ramp.
I'll build a ramp up to your ass,
drive a Lionel up in there.
Jeannie, hi!
You're putting your roses to bed?
Carmela, hi.
I haven't seen you at spinning class.
I rang the bell,
you weren't home, either.
- Really?
- The other day, I am at the mall...
...I see you on the escalator,
and I'm yelling, "Jeannie!"
Then I realized it was your sister.
Now, didn't she go to Georgetown?
Georgetown Law.
Georgetown Law Review.
Regional secretary of the Georgetown
Alumni Association of Short Hills.
Because my Meadow
applied to Georgetown.
I hope and pray to Jesus
that she gets in.
She keeps talking about Berkeley.
Madonna, Berkeley!
College already, huh?
They get big so fast.
Oh, God, is that the time?
Jeannie, I need to ask you a favor.
I wonder if you'd ask your sister...
...to write Meadow a recommendation.
Is that too much?
But she doesn't really know Meadow.
But you do. You could give her the
transcripts, which are excellent.
Her paper on the melting ice cap
made me cry, it's so poignant.
- It was published in the Caduceus.
- My sister's so busy. That's all.
If there's any way you could
find your way to helping me out.
I'll ask her.
Thank you, Jeannie.
I'll let you get back to your plants.
Good, Good, Good.
That's it. Push up. Now, bracing
yourself on the bedside hand...
Richie.
- Could you excuse us for a moment?
- No.
Are you all right, Mr. Gaeta?
He's fine. He's so proud,
he won't accept some friendly concern.
Just stay right out in the hall.
What do you want?
Why don't you kill me, you cocksucker?
- Christ, look what you did to me.
- Whose idea was the ramp?
- What ramp?
- The fucking ramp.
If you need help, I'll fucking
help you, you understand?
- You talk to me.
- I don't want jack shit from you.
Okay. I'll leave.
But if you go crying
to Tony Soprano one more time...
...if you open your mouth...
...I'm gonna send your arms
where your legs are.
- Liz, I gotta see Adriana.
- She's not here.
- Let me in, I gotta talk to her.
- You are not welcome in this house.
What the fuck, Adriana! I'm sorry.
How many times I gotta call?
Go! I hate you!
I never want to speak to you again!
I'm calling the police.
Don't be like that. I love you.
I'm going crazy. I miss you.
- I'm dialing 911.
- Why should I listen to you?
So you can dump more wine
in your soup and embarrass me?
- Give me the phone!
- Go in the other room!
Ow.
- I want to marry you.
- What?
I mean it, Adriana. I love you.
I want to marry you.
- Got you a ring.
- Don't listen to him.
He's jerked you around for years.
- You're wasting your whole youth.
- Ma...
Open it.
I bet it was in Zane's window
this morning.
I bet there's bits
of broken glass in it.
Ma, would you leave us alone?
Adriana, I hear you sobbing
in your bed at night.
Ma!
When you get hurt next time,
this door is closed to you.
Oh, my God.
- Christopher.
- It's three carats.
The guy said you could bring it in
and have it sized if it's loose.
Oh, Christopher.
He had The Mummy before it was
in the theaters.
Look, we're wondering
why the squirrels went quiet.
Oh, this nephew of yours,
what a ball-breaker.
I told him about the tapes.
Yeah, these are the real...
...Hollywood quality
broadcast movies.
None of that time-coding bullshit,
blurry pictures those Nigerians sell.
- Oh, you're in on this?
- Ten thousand units.
- What's Johnny Sack say about that?
- Fuck New York.
Better run before
your wife gets home.
I can't be seen associating
with known felons.
What's your excuse for hanging out
with this undesirable?
The terms of my house arrest allow me
to do my grocery shopping.
Don't put handprints on the finish!
Last arugula raab from the garden.
Don't drench it in oil this time.
He likes to mop with his bread,
it's not my fault.
What brings you to an English-
speaking neighborhood?
Fucking winghead came to see me.
Paulie?
He said I gotta build a fucking ramp
on Beansie's house.
- Yeah, I know.
- Wait, this was your idea?
Jesus Christ, Tony.
Is this how you spend your time?
Beansie Gaeta would still
sell nickel bags...
...on Jefferson Avenue if it
wasn't for Jackie.
Build Beansie the ramp.
Terrible accident that kid had.
Yeah, it's done.
Come on, come here.
I got something for you.
- What's this?
- What's this? It's the jacket!
- The jacket?
- The jacket...
...I took off Rocco DiMeo.
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Toughest reputation
in Essex County.
Didn't come back after
I finished with him.
- He later died of Alzheimer's.
- Oh, yeah?
- Try it on.
- It's your fucking jacket.
You love this jacket. You and my
brother would've killed for it.
Silk lining. Fine Corinthian leather.
Nobody believed with my size I could
carry this jacket.
But with a belt, it was like Rommel.
It's a...
...nice jacket.
It's a beautiful jacket.
But it's yours to have now.
- Why?
- I gotta let go of the past.
Like the Tao says, you gotta shut
one door before another one can open.
Was that so hard to do? You did it.
That's it. That's it. Oh!
Huh? Perfect.
You look like Robert Evans over there.
Thanks.
Is that all Tony said?
Did he say anything else?
What do you want him to do?
Give you a kiss? He said
nice swag, and where's his end?
To kick up to Tony Soprano
will be an honor.
He the man.
Thought you said I was the man.
He the man, who the man?
Are we not men?
Oh, listen. Tony's cut from this
thing and that one...
...comes out of your end.
That's how it is in the beginning.
Dues concept. We're down with it.
Right, Gis?
I laid out my take on
the diamond for Ade.
Adriana La Cerva.
There's one hottie!
She loves me and these are
her childbearing years.
Don't see myself getting married.
I get all I need, and I can
hire somebody to wash and iron.
Yeah, I could see that.
(FARTING)
No more burritos before work.
Look at this place. Can you
imagine spending day after day here...
...year after year?
(DOORBELL)
- Can I help you?
- Mrs. Gaeta?
- We're here for the ramp.
- Ramp?
For your husband.
You from Outreach at Saint Erasmus?
We're also supposed to...
...alter the toilets and widen the
doorways and so on...
...to make the house accessible.
Who sent you here?
- Richie Aprile.
- Richie Aprile?
We'll be done before Beansie's
home from the hospital.
Get out of here.
I don't want anything to do
with that man after what he did.
She's got problems, but I'm not gonna
tell Richie this isn't getting done.
(WHISTLING)
(DOORBELL)
- Richie.
- Tony.
Rich, this is Matthew Bevilaqua
and Sean Gismonte.
- From West Orange.
- I'm back to Drinkwater.
It's good to meet you.
My cousin Louis worked with you
in the prison sign shop.
Oh, yeah. Lou. 5'8," about 225.
I'll take them to Uncle Joey's
to look at IROCs.
They asked if they could come
and say hello.
You been doing things for
Christopher Moltisanti?
- This and that.
- The attitude on that camel-nose fuck.
He lays his hand on my niece again...
...I'm gonna tear him apart.
- Camel-nose.
- You can't make that shit up.
What are you talking about?
I just did. Ever notice,
he's the only guy...
...who can smoke in the rain
with his hands on his back?
That nose is a natural canopy.
- The kid has his good points.
- I know. He's my homie.
- Your what?
- He lives up near me.
Why didn't you say that?
If you talk like a melanzane,
I'll send you to slip-and-fall school.
Fellas, come on. Times up, let's go.
Richie, it was good meeting you.
If there's ever anything you can do
for me, let me know.
(DOOR OPENING)
- Hi.
- Oh, my God. Did we have a lunch?
- I'm rushing to a deposition.
- I was in the neighborhood.
- Downtown Newark?
- I think I goofed, Joanie.
I don't know how I got
into this conversation.
But Carmela Soprano, from next door,
trapped me...
...into asking you to write her kid
a recommendation to Georgetown.
- The gangster's wife?
- I'm sorry.
She blind-sided me in the back yard.
What was I supposed to say?
That I'm busy, which I am.
That I don't even know the girl.
Come on, you met Meadow.
Fourth of July, at our barbecue.
That's not what I mean.
You can't expect me to do this.
It's just a letter.
Bruce just wrote one to UVM.
You do it all the time!
Gangsters, on the Georgetown campus?
I don't think so.
Oh, spare me the elitist bullshit.
- They're neighbors!
- Have you lost your mind?
Carmela asked me, Joan.
Are you frightened?
What are they gonna do?
Put you in cement boots over
an application?
It's not that. It's about manners.
What will I say?
I'm writing a letter
for someone else, which I am.
A wonderful Dominican boy from
the projects, with a 5.2 average.
I have a reputation to protect.
- I knew you wouldn't do it.
- You want to be a doormat forever?
Just deal with it, Jeannie, okay?
It's no trouble at all
to add two more.
Especially with Ms. Meadow missing.
Don't be silly. We dropped by to get
Ma's furniture from the basement.
- "Ma," now?
- Hugh, sit with me and Anthony.
Let Janice's friend sit at the foot.
Grandpa, after dinner, Hot Wheels?
Ooh.
Something smells good.
It's much cozier this way.
The more the merrier.
This is what it's all about.
Friends, family.
It's what I missed all those years.
You are always welcome, Richie.
I hope you're hungry for roast.
- Let me help.
- Ma, sit down. Janice, sit.
Everything's under control.
Oh, Janice, sit. Really, sit.
- Hey, how's the jacket?
- What jacket?
I gave your little brother
a beautiful leather jacket.
- You still liking the jacket?
- It's terrific.
Excuse me, I gotta get the Ginzu.
- What jacket?
- With the belt.
Where's my knife?
I want to compliment you
on your behavior out there.
I want him where I can see him.
That's what we mean
when we say "family."
I'm sorry. I know I'm late.
Said you could stay overnight,
not miss dinner.
I said I'm sorry.
You could've paged me.
- Any mail yesterday?
- It's where it always is.
But go set yourself a place,
we have company.
(PHONE RINGING)
What happened to this?
- Hello?
- Carmela? Hi.
- It's Jeannie Cusamano.
- Oh, hi! Hi, how are you?
Listen, Carmela.
I spoke to my sister about the letter.
And she's sorry, but she just
can't do it. I'm sorry.
She can't? Why not?
Because she already wrote a letter
for someone else.
A wonderful Dominican man
from the housing projects...
...with a 5.2 average and...
...crack-addict mother,
and cerebral palsy.
What does that mean?
She can't send two?
Did you think to ask one of
the priests at church?
A letter from Father Intintola would
mean more, I bet.
Especially at Georgetown.
I gotta go. Bye. Good luck!
Who was that?
- Can't send two what?
- It's nothing.
Joan, I don't want to interrupt you...
...but a Carmela Soprano is here.
You're kidding.
She's not in your Day-Timer.
Want me to handle it?
Oh, Christ. Send her in.
Excuse me.
Joan, hi. Is this a bad time?
Always. Come on in.
- Ricotta pie with pineapples.
- Oh, well.
I was in the neighborhood.
My mother's foot surgeon is here.
Thank you.
Listen, I think I know
why you're here.
My sister told me you want me to write
a letter to Georgetown for Fielder?
- Meadow.
- Oh, sorry.
But I just can't do it.
I thought you would at least want to
look at her grades and SAT scores...
...and teacher comments
before you decide.
She'd be a wonderful
addition to Georgetown.
Then the admissions officers
will see that.
I'm not sure that's true. The sad
fact is, that's not enough these days.
I'm sorry, Carmela.
But I can't do it.
I don't think you understand.
I want you to write that letter.
- Excuse me?
- I want you to write the letter.
- Are you threatening me?
- Threat? What threatening?
I brought a pie, and a transcript
so you could write...
...a letter for my
daughter to Georgetown.
- I'm an officer of the court.
- A lawyer.
Don't make me beg here.
I've written my last letter of
support for this academic year.
How about this? You could
write a letter to Georgetown...
...about discovering it
wasn't that person's first choice...
...and that he was using
Georgetown as a backup.
I'm not telling you what to write.
Oh, I left my mother
in the car with that foot.
Thanks for this.
(Tony)
Ask the kid to fix me a burger.
- Holy fuck. Shit.
- It's him.
- We should've said hello.
- Or asked him what time it was.
Think we should go in?
Wait, you got...
- How do I look?
- Good.
Your hair...
- Hi, Tony. How the fuck's it going?
- How you doing?
Matt Drinkwater. Bevilaqua's nephew.
Sean Gismonte.
Friends of Christopher.
Worked the card game.
I know. How you doing?
That dancer, Destinee out there?
I'd like to break my dick off
in her ass.
Chrissy spoke to us about it.
We should give you a taste from...
Jesus Christ, you stupid
shit-eating twat.
You ever hear of wiretaps?
- Look what you did.
- You made me do all the talking.
You always do that.
You get all quiet...
...you leave me hanging in
the fucking wind.
What's so important you make
a man late for the first post?
We heard from Gia Gaeta...
...your nephews ripped up the house
and then haven't been back there.
I needed them to do work
on Janice's mom's house.
Which, all do respect,
is also your boss's mother's house.
- Gentlemen.
- Ton, these guys...
...won't shut up about this ramp.
Richie, relax, sit down.
I'll buy you a cup of coffee.
Where's the jacket?
You're not wearing the jacket.
It's in the car. You want it back?
I gave Tony a jacket I took
off Rocco DiMeo.
Cocksucker had a reputation as being
the toughest guy in Essex County.
He didn't come back when
I got through with him.
We did an interview.
She was the first celebrity...
(KNOCKING)
Carmela?
Oh, hi.
Hi.
Jean, hi. Come on in.
Your plate. My sister said
the ricotta pie was delicious.
The family loved it.
She also said she reviewed
Meadow's transcripts...
...and she was knocked the fuck out
by those recommendations.
She wrote a terrific letter
to Georgetown.
That's wonderful. Do you have a copy?
No, but I'll get you one. No problem.
Thank you so much.
Jean, you are a wonderful friend.
Did I tell you how impressed Joan
was with Meadow's transcripts?
You did, thank you.
Howie T, bro,
blood's flaying on the mix.
We ought to score some Vegas,
kick the fucking bass up on this TV.
(POUNDING ON DOOR)
What the fuck was that?
(POUNDING CONTINUES)
(RAP SONG PLAYING)
(POUNDING)
Fuck! It's that zip Furio
and somebody.
Fuck, let him in before
he kicks the door down.
- Furio, right?
- We're here for the money.
- Money?
- The boss's money.
Oh, the money. Okay, yeah, sure.
Sean, get out Antonio's money.
Bella televisione.
HDTV Compatible.
You guys want something to drink?
Beer?
Just the money.
Ten percent, right? $7500.
It's all there.
Give me $1000.
One thousand more?
- Chris said 10 percent.
- One thousand dollars.
I can't believe this. You're
ripping us off. This is bullshit.
Come on, hurry up.
These two suck each
other's cocks.
What'd you say to him?
Have a nice day.
Jesus-fucking-Mother-of-Christ,
Christopher.
- You want one?
- No, I'll have a puff of yours.
- Man.
- I know.
If I knew it was gonna keep
getting better...
...I would've asked you
to marry me sooner.
Like it wasn't always good?
Ow.
- Christopher?
- What?
Nothing. Just, I love my ring.
T was right. He set me straight,
that shit he said to me:
"No more distractions. Focus.
No drugs. Eye on the prize."
I'm back on track, Adriana.
I'm rededicating myself right
down the line.
- I don't know why we always fight.
- My fault. I don't express my needs.
- We waste so much time.
- You're right.
Let's not...
- I love you so much.
- I love you too.
(POP SONG PLAYING)
(DOORBELL)
Lilliana, can you get that?
(DOOR OPENING)
Richie, what a surprise!
What brings you this way?
How are you today, dear?
This is a thank-you for Sunday dinner,
some tripe and tomatoes I made.
We gotta be the only two people
who still like tripe.
Oh, my God, Richie. Thank you.
It's for you, for dinner,
for whatever you want to do with it.
Oh, my God, the kids are gonna
freak out when they see this.
- I made some fresh drip, want a cup?
- Sure, why not?
So, Richie, you and Par...
"Janice."
This is no flash in the pan.
It's ironic how life works.
She goes to Sri Lanka, or wherever...
...I go where I went, and here we are
back where we started, 20 years ago.
For every shoe there is a mate.
Mrs. Carmela, sorry, but my husband
has come to get extra TV set...
...you said I could have.
Sure, go right ahead.
If there's one thing we don't
lack here, it's TV sets.
Lilliana, the remote is down there
somewhere too, it's on the shelves.
- Hello, missus. Thank you for TV.
- Oh, Stasiu, please. Enjoy.
The poor thing. In Poland he was
a mechanical engineer...
...here, he's driving a cab.
What's the matter? You all right?
No, I'm fine. I'm fine.
I gotta go.
Answering machine.
Christopher, where is he?
He's always here.
- This is fucked.
- What?
This. Us. Look at us.
We're like two scared rabbits.
- Douche bags.
- Don't say that.
Sean, grow up to reality.
We are nowhere.
Buying fish? Punching safes?
What is that? And for what?
We're just starting.
It's what you do.
We got stockbroker licenses.
I went to Pace College!
- Fuck. It's true, huh?
- We're fucked.
We gotta do something to get ahead.
Mom, I don't believe it,
and don't deny it!
I told you not to let Lilliana
into my room!
Look at the money they waste
on these CD-ROMs.
MindSpring, Earthlink,
what are these exactly?
Don't change the subject!
It's my room!
There were clothes a foot deep
on the floor.
You had half the bath towels.
- Don't exaggerate.
- Wet! It was starting to smell.
It's my room,
and that's the way I want it!
- I don't bitch about your room!
- Your room is in my house.
As long as you live here,
there are limits.
I won't be here for long!
I'm 18...
...going to college. I can
take care of myself, so bug out!
- Oh, you can?
- That's right!
You know what? You're right.
You are right.
You can take care of yourself.
Thank you.
You're going off on your
own to a wonderful college.
What right do I have to interfere?
- What's going on?
- Nothing I can think of.
Except it's Tuesday, 3:00.
So we gotta talk about something.
Okay, spin the wheel.
Here's something that's been
bothering me.
- I gave my daughter a car.
- Really?
Yeah, a used car. One of those SUVs.
You know, a '92 Pathfinder.
It belonged to a friend
of hers from school.
It came into my possession because
of a debt by the kid's father.
This is the way he made payment.
You gave her her friend's car?
It was a nice, safe car to which
I had the pink slip.
What's bothering you?
I must've known she'd know that it
was this kid's car...
...and how I got it.
You know, and she'd freak out.
- Then why'd you give it to her?
- I don't know.
For all these years I been shielding
and protecting her...
...from certain truths.
- So now I want to rub her nose in it?
- Any thoughts on that?
Well, this kid's father,
he's a fucking degenerate gambler.
But also a respected businessman
in the community and so on.
- One of your "Happy Wanderers."
- How do you remember this?
So it becomes my fault
he lost his kid's car?
I gotta look out for this bastard?
My friend Artie's got a restaurant.
Now, no one's telling him
to refuse a plate of fettuccine...
...to some fat fuck wandering in
eating himself to death.
Maybe that's what you said to her.
- What?
- By giving her the SUV.
- Wanting her to confront ambiguities.
- English.
Meadow's going to be going away
to college next year.
- That's why she needs the car.
- Leaving the nest.
- Not those fucking ducks again.
- Maybe you were...
...preparing her for reality, to fly.
You people are something.
I give my little daughter a car
to rub her face in shit...
...and you tell me
I did something noble?
We're getting to something here.
- Times up.
- Look, we're doing good work.
What? You feel you're cured?
Fine, I'll sit here.
But I got nothing else to say.
Yeah. Did you call me?
Oh, get the fuck out of here.
I'm supposed to go all the way
there to check a ramp?
- Christopher, what's up?
- Hey, what's up, man?
Get that motherfucker!
- Get him!
- Fucking seat belt!
(CAR ALARM GOING OFF)
(SIRENS)
- Richie.
- Yeah, what?
Matt Drinkwater, Bevilaqua.
Hear what happened to Christopher?
- Yeah, somebody blew him up.
- It was us. Me and Sean.
- It was what? You?
- Sean's dead. Christopher killed him.
- So, what are you doing here?
- We did it for you. A favor.
- What are you saying?
- You don't like him.
- So what?
- He hit your niece.
Jesus, are you crazy?
That's all I need now for that fuck...
...to think I had a part of this.
- You gotta help me, man.
- I'll help you. I'll fucking help you!
Hide me, I'm with you now.
Who told you to do that? Get out of
here, you dumb fuck! I'll kill you!
How can this happen?
How could this happen?
(BREATHING MACHINE BEEPING)
While you slept, we found out
Hunter got into Reed.
- Sayonara!
- Can't you be happy for Hunter?
It's her first choice.
She'd die if she didn't get in.
Why do you think everything
has to do with me?
Because you didn't get in.
Anthony! Nobody is hearing
anything for months.
Hunter took early acceptance
to find out early.
That meant she could only
apply to one college.
Your sister has a lot of options.
Such as: Bowdoin, Holy Cross,
Georgetown...
Georgetown is a reach for me.
They'd be crazy not to want you.
If I can get in,
I can get into Berkeley.
- Over my dead body.
- There are more...
...Nobel Prize winners in the
San Francisco area than anywhere.
Nobel Prize for what? Packing fudge?
You know that you can go anywhere
you want to go to college.
But I'm not gonna pay for Berkeley.
I want to go to Harvard or West Point.
You may get to see them on TV,
but that's about it.
To go there you gotta crack the books.
(METAL CLANKING)
Stockings, Chris.
How many do you gotta sell...
...to pay the nut on this place?
How can I express how little
I give a fuck?
Sh! What's that?
Fucking rent-a-geek.
Want me to cave the rest
of your head in?
All right, that's bent enough.
Get the crowbar, pop the plate.
Without fail, every time
we're on a job...
The adrenaline affects everybody
differently.
Big Pussy Bompensiero,
he started out as a cat burglar.
One time he left a load so big,
cop thought a bear did it.
Bompensiero started off
chipping safes like this?
Until he stepped up for Soprano
during the unrest of '83.
Back then when you did something,
you got recognized.
When your time comes, you either
step up or you look for a new career.
Selling stockings door-to-door.
The Profile Toner is a wonderful,
affordable...
...easily used alternative
to undergoing facelift surgery.
The Profile Toner is great for
any age and body type...
...even for those hereditary
conditions you've given up on.
Carm...
Why don't you take a Xanax
or something?
What is this obsession with Berkeley?
Is she trying to get away from us?
Absolutely. That's her job.
Yeah, go ahead, laugh.
What if she gets into Berkeley
and not into Georgetown?
She's in the National Honor Society.
Don't be naive, Tony. Please.
How do you think Hunter
got into Reed?
Her uncle, that's how.
Him and his wife are graduates.
That's the only way that
freak's gonna get in.
Second baby boom.
Great SAT scores.
It's not enough anymore.
It's all who you know
or how many buildings you give.
What do you want me to do?
(POP MUSIC PLAYING)
(KNOCKING)
- He here?
- Hey!
Someone leave a cage open
at Turtleback Zoo?
Sit down, for chrissake.
I want to talk to you
about Beansie Gaeta.
- He may never walk again.
- Never say never.
No, say never. He's a shopping cart,
from here on out.
He gets home from rehab soon,
poor fucker.
- You should help him out.
- Help him out?
You should build him a ramp
for the wheelchair.
You know, make the place,
whatchamacallit? Handicap accessible.
Maybe when I'm there
I'll fuck his wife.
Come on.
You're a fucking captain now.
So exert some pressure.
Call that nephew of yours,
Vito, and the other one.
They're in the building trades.
- Wait, are you fucking serious?
- Richie, it's a gesture.
- The man has a lot of friends.
- You're out of your fucking minds.
Don't take that attitude, Richie
You're gonna build Beansie a ramp.
I'll build a ramp up to your ass,
drive a Lionel up in there.
Jeannie, hi!
You're putting your roses to bed?
Carmela, hi.
I haven't seen you at spinning class.
I rang the bell,
you weren't home, either.
- Really?
- The other day, I am at the mall...
...I see you on the escalator,
and I'm yelling, "Jeannie!"
Then I realized it was your sister.
Now, didn't she go to Georgetown?
Georgetown Law.
Georgetown Law Review.
Regional secretary of the Georgetown
Alumni Association of Short Hills.
Because my Meadow
applied to Georgetown.
I hope and pray to Jesus
that she gets in.
She keeps talking about Berkeley.
Madonna, Berkeley!
College already, huh?
They get big so fast.
Oh, God, is that the time?
Jeannie, I need to ask you a favor.
I wonder if you'd ask your sister...
...to write Meadow a recommendation.
Is that too much?
But she doesn't really know Meadow.
But you do. You could give her the
transcripts, which are excellent.
Her paper on the melting ice cap
made me cry, it's so poignant.
- It was published in the Caduceus.
- My sister's so busy. That's all.
If there's any way you could
find your way to helping me out.
I'll ask her.
Thank you, Jeannie.
I'll let you get back to your plants.
Good, Good, Good.
That's it. Push up. Now, bracing
yourself on the bedside hand...
Richie.
- Could you excuse us for a moment?
- No.
Are you all right, Mr. Gaeta?
He's fine. He's so proud,
he won't accept some friendly concern.
Just stay right out in the hall.
What do you want?
Why don't you kill me, you cocksucker?
- Christ, look what you did to me.
- Whose idea was the ramp?
- What ramp?
- The fucking ramp.
If you need help, I'll fucking
help you, you understand?
- You talk to me.
- I don't want jack shit from you.
Okay. I'll leave.
But if you go crying
to Tony Soprano one more time...
...if you open your mouth...
...I'm gonna send your arms
where your legs are.
- Liz, I gotta see Adriana.
- She's not here.
- Let me in, I gotta talk to her.
- You are not welcome in this house.
What the fuck, Adriana! I'm sorry.
How many times I gotta call?
Go! I hate you!
I never want to speak to you again!
I'm calling the police.
Don't be like that. I love you.
I'm going crazy. I miss you.
- I'm dialing 911.
- Why should I listen to you?
So you can dump more wine
in your soup and embarrass me?
- Give me the phone!
- Go in the other room!
Ow.
- I want to marry you.
- What?
I mean it, Adriana. I love you.
I want to marry you.
- Got you a ring.
- Don't listen to him.
He's jerked you around for years.
- You're wasting your whole youth.
- Ma...
Open it.
I bet it was in Zane's window
this morning.
I bet there's bits
of broken glass in it.
Ma, would you leave us alone?
Adriana, I hear you sobbing
in your bed at night.
Ma!
When you get hurt next time,
this door is closed to you.
Oh, my God.
- Christopher.
- It's three carats.
The guy said you could bring it in
and have it sized if it's loose.
Oh, Christopher.
He had The Mummy before it was
in the theaters.
Look, we're wondering
why the squirrels went quiet.
Oh, this nephew of yours,
what a ball-breaker.
I told him about the tapes.
Yeah, these are the real...
...Hollywood quality
broadcast movies.
None of that time-coding bullshit,
blurry pictures those Nigerians sell.
- Oh, you're in on this?
- Ten thousand units.
- What's Johnny Sack say about that?
- Fuck New York.
Better run before
your wife gets home.
I can't be seen associating
with known felons.
What's your excuse for hanging out
with this undesirable?
The terms of my house arrest allow me
to do my grocery shopping.
Don't put handprints on the finish!
Last arugula raab from the garden.
Don't drench it in oil this time.
He likes to mop with his bread,
it's not my fault.
What brings you to an English-
speaking neighborhood?
Fucking winghead came to see me.
Paulie?
He said I gotta build a fucking ramp
on Beansie's house.
- Yeah, I know.
- Wait, this was your idea?
Jesus Christ, Tony.
Is this how you spend your time?
Beansie Gaeta would still
sell nickel bags...
...on Jefferson Avenue if it
wasn't for Jackie.
Build Beansie the ramp.
Terrible accident that kid had.
Yeah, it's done.
Come on, come here.
I got something for you.
- What's this?
- What's this? It's the jacket!
- The jacket?
- The jacket...
...I took off Rocco DiMeo.
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Toughest reputation
in Essex County.
Didn't come back after
I finished with him.
- He later died of Alzheimer's.
- Oh, yeah?
- Try it on.
- It's your fucking jacket.
You love this jacket. You and my
brother would've killed for it.
Silk lining. Fine Corinthian leather.
Nobody believed with my size I could
carry this jacket.
But with a belt, it was like Rommel.
It's a...
...nice jacket.
It's a beautiful jacket.
But it's yours to have now.
- Why?
- I gotta let go of the past.
Like the Tao says, you gotta shut
one door before another one can open.
Was that so hard to do? You did it.
That's it. That's it. Oh!
Huh? Perfect.
You look like Robert Evans over there.
Thanks.
Is that all Tony said?
Did he say anything else?
What do you want him to do?
Give you a kiss? He said
nice swag, and where's his end?
To kick up to Tony Soprano
will be an honor.
He the man.
Thought you said I was the man.
He the man, who the man?
Are we not men?
Oh, listen. Tony's cut from this
thing and that one...
...comes out of your end.
That's how it is in the beginning.
Dues concept. We're down with it.
Right, Gis?
I laid out my take on
the diamond for Ade.
Adriana La Cerva.
There's one hottie!
She loves me and these are
her childbearing years.
Don't see myself getting married.
I get all I need, and I can
hire somebody to wash and iron.
Yeah, I could see that.
(FARTING)
No more burritos before work.
Look at this place. Can you
imagine spending day after day here...
...year after year?
(DOORBELL)
- Can I help you?
- Mrs. Gaeta?
- We're here for the ramp.
- Ramp?
For your husband.
You from Outreach at Saint Erasmus?
We're also supposed to...
...alter the toilets and widen the
doorways and so on...
...to make the house accessible.
Who sent you here?
- Richie Aprile.
- Richie Aprile?
We'll be done before Beansie's
home from the hospital.
Get out of here.
I don't want anything to do
with that man after what he did.
She's got problems, but I'm not gonna
tell Richie this isn't getting done.
(WHISTLING)
(DOORBELL)
- Richie.
- Tony.
Rich, this is Matthew Bevilaqua
and Sean Gismonte.
- From West Orange.
- I'm back to Drinkwater.
It's good to meet you.
My cousin Louis worked with you
in the prison sign shop.
Oh, yeah. Lou. 5'8," about 225.
I'll take them to Uncle Joey's
to look at IROCs.
They asked if they could come
and say hello.
You been doing things for
Christopher Moltisanti?
- This and that.
- The attitude on that camel-nose fuck.
He lays his hand on my niece again...
...I'm gonna tear him apart.
- Camel-nose.
- You can't make that shit up.
What are you talking about?
I just did. Ever notice,
he's the only guy...
...who can smoke in the rain
with his hands on his back?
That nose is a natural canopy.
- The kid has his good points.
- I know. He's my homie.
- Your what?
- He lives up near me.
Why didn't you say that?
If you talk like a melanzane,
I'll send you to slip-and-fall school.
Fellas, come on. Times up, let's go.
Richie, it was good meeting you.
If there's ever anything you can do
for me, let me know.
(DOOR OPENING)
- Hi.
- Oh, my God. Did we have a lunch?
- I'm rushing to a deposition.
- I was in the neighborhood.
- Downtown Newark?
- I think I goofed, Joanie.
I don't know how I got
into this conversation.
But Carmela Soprano, from next door,
trapped me...
...into asking you to write her kid
a recommendation to Georgetown.
- The gangster's wife?
- I'm sorry.
She blind-sided me in the back yard.
What was I supposed to say?
That I'm busy, which I am.
That I don't even know the girl.
Come on, you met Meadow.
Fourth of July, at our barbecue.
That's not what I mean.
You can't expect me to do this.
It's just a letter.
Bruce just wrote one to UVM.
You do it all the time!
Gangsters, on the Georgetown campus?
I don't think so.
Oh, spare me the elitist bullshit.
- They're neighbors!
- Have you lost your mind?
Carmela asked me, Joan.
Are you frightened?
What are they gonna do?
Put you in cement boots over
an application?
It's not that. It's about manners.
What will I say?
I'm writing a letter
for someone else, which I am.
A wonderful Dominican boy from
the projects, with a 5.2 average.
I have a reputation to protect.
- I knew you wouldn't do it.
- You want to be a doormat forever?
Just deal with it, Jeannie, okay?
It's no trouble at all
to add two more.
Especially with Ms. Meadow missing.
Don't be silly. We dropped by to get
Ma's furniture from the basement.
- "Ma," now?
- Hugh, sit with me and Anthony.
Let Janice's friend sit at the foot.
Grandpa, after dinner, Hot Wheels?
Ooh.
Something smells good.
It's much cozier this way.
The more the merrier.
This is what it's all about.
Friends, family.
It's what I missed all those years.
You are always welcome, Richie.
I hope you're hungry for roast.
- Let me help.
- Ma, sit down. Janice, sit.
Everything's under control.
Oh, Janice, sit. Really, sit.
- Hey, how's the jacket?
- What jacket?
I gave your little brother
a beautiful leather jacket.
- You still liking the jacket?
- It's terrific.
Excuse me, I gotta get the Ginzu.
- What jacket?
- With the belt.
Where's my knife?
I want to compliment you
on your behavior out there.
I want him where I can see him.
That's what we mean
when we say "family."
I'm sorry. I know I'm late.
Said you could stay overnight,
not miss dinner.
I said I'm sorry.
You could've paged me.
- Any mail yesterday?
- It's where it always is.
But go set yourself a place,
we have company.
(PHONE RINGING)
What happened to this?
- Hello?
- Carmela? Hi.
- It's Jeannie Cusamano.
- Oh, hi! Hi, how are you?
Listen, Carmela.
I spoke to my sister about the letter.
And she's sorry, but she just
can't do it. I'm sorry.
She can't? Why not?
Because she already wrote a letter
for someone else.
A wonderful Dominican man
from the housing projects...
...with a 5.2 average and...
...crack-addict mother,
and cerebral palsy.
What does that mean?
She can't send two?
Did you think to ask one of
the priests at church?
A letter from Father Intintola would
mean more, I bet.
Especially at Georgetown.
I gotta go. Bye. Good luck!
Who was that?
- Can't send two what?
- It's nothing.
Joan, I don't want to interrupt you...
...but a Carmela Soprano is here.
You're kidding.
She's not in your Day-Timer.
Want me to handle it?
Oh, Christ. Send her in.
Excuse me.
Joan, hi. Is this a bad time?
Always. Come on in.
- Ricotta pie with pineapples.
- Oh, well.
I was in the neighborhood.
My mother's foot surgeon is here.
Thank you.
Listen, I think I know
why you're here.
My sister told me you want me to write
a letter to Georgetown for Fielder?
- Meadow.
- Oh, sorry.
But I just can't do it.
I thought you would at least want to
look at her grades and SAT scores...
...and teacher comments
before you decide.
She'd be a wonderful
addition to Georgetown.
Then the admissions officers
will see that.
I'm not sure that's true. The sad
fact is, that's not enough these days.
I'm sorry, Carmela.
But I can't do it.
I don't think you understand.
I want you to write that letter.
- Excuse me?
- I want you to write the letter.
- Are you threatening me?
- Threat? What threatening?
I brought a pie, and a transcript
so you could write...
...a letter for my
daughter to Georgetown.
- I'm an officer of the court.
- A lawyer.
Don't make me beg here.
I've written my last letter of
support for this academic year.
How about this? You could
write a letter to Georgetown...
...about discovering it
wasn't that person's first choice...
...and that he was using
Georgetown as a backup.
I'm not telling you what to write.
Oh, I left my mother
in the car with that foot.
Thanks for this.
(Tony)
Ask the kid to fix me a burger.
- Holy fuck. Shit.
- It's him.
- We should've said hello.
- Or asked him what time it was.
Think we should go in?
Wait, you got...
- How do I look?
- Good.
Your hair...
- Hi, Tony. How the fuck's it going?
- How you doing?
Matt Drinkwater. Bevilaqua's nephew.
Sean Gismonte.
Friends of Christopher.
Worked the card game.
I know. How you doing?
That dancer, Destinee out there?
I'd like to break my dick off
in her ass.
Chrissy spoke to us about it.
We should give you a taste from...
Jesus Christ, you stupid
shit-eating twat.
You ever hear of wiretaps?
- Look what you did.
- You made me do all the talking.
You always do that.
You get all quiet...
...you leave me hanging in
the fucking wind.
What's so important you make
a man late for the first post?
We heard from Gia Gaeta...
...your nephews ripped up the house
and then haven't been back there.
I needed them to do work
on Janice's mom's house.
Which, all do respect,
is also your boss's mother's house.
- Gentlemen.
- Ton, these guys...
...won't shut up about this ramp.
Richie, relax, sit down.
I'll buy you a cup of coffee.
Where's the jacket?
You're not wearing the jacket.
It's in the car. You want it back?
I gave Tony a jacket I took
off Rocco DiMeo.
Cocksucker had a reputation as being
the toughest guy in Essex County.
He didn't come back when
I got through with him.
We did an interview.
She was the first celebrity...
(KNOCKING)
Carmela?
Oh, hi.
Hi.
Jean, hi. Come on in.
Your plate. My sister said
the ricotta pie was delicious.
The family loved it.
She also said she reviewed
Meadow's transcripts...
...and she was knocked the fuck out
by those recommendations.
She wrote a terrific letter
to Georgetown.
That's wonderful. Do you have a copy?
No, but I'll get you one. No problem.
Thank you so much.
Jean, you are a wonderful friend.
Did I tell you how impressed Joan
was with Meadow's transcripts?
You did, thank you.
Howie T, bro,
blood's flaying on the mix.
We ought to score some Vegas,
kick the fucking bass up on this TV.
(POUNDING ON DOOR)
What the fuck was that?
(POUNDING CONTINUES)
(RAP SONG PLAYING)
(POUNDING)
Fuck! It's that zip Furio
and somebody.
Fuck, let him in before
he kicks the door down.
- Furio, right?
- We're here for the money.
- Money?
- The boss's money.
Oh, the money. Okay, yeah, sure.
Sean, get out Antonio's money.
Bella televisione.
HDTV Compatible.
You guys want something to drink?
Beer?
Just the money.
Ten percent, right? $7500.
It's all there.
Give me $1000.
One thousand more?
- Chris said 10 percent.
- One thousand dollars.
I can't believe this. You're
ripping us off. This is bullshit.
Come on, hurry up.
These two suck each
other's cocks.
What'd you say to him?
Have a nice day.
Jesus-fucking-Mother-of-Christ,
Christopher.
- You want one?
- No, I'll have a puff of yours.
- Man.
- I know.
If I knew it was gonna keep
getting better...
...I would've asked you
to marry me sooner.
Like it wasn't always good?
Ow.
- Christopher?
- What?
Nothing. Just, I love my ring.
T was right. He set me straight,
that shit he said to me:
"No more distractions. Focus.
No drugs. Eye on the prize."
I'm back on track, Adriana.
I'm rededicating myself right
down the line.
- I don't know why we always fight.
- My fault. I don't express my needs.
- We waste so much time.
- You're right.
Let's not...
- I love you so much.
- I love you too.
(POP SONG PLAYING)
(DOORBELL)
Lilliana, can you get that?
(DOOR OPENING)
Richie, what a surprise!
What brings you this way?
How are you today, dear?
This is a thank-you for Sunday dinner,
some tripe and tomatoes I made.
We gotta be the only two people
who still like tripe.
Oh, my God, Richie. Thank you.
It's for you, for dinner,
for whatever you want to do with it.
Oh, my God, the kids are gonna
freak out when they see this.
- I made some fresh drip, want a cup?
- Sure, why not?
So, Richie, you and Par...
"Janice."
This is no flash in the pan.
It's ironic how life works.
She goes to Sri Lanka, or wherever...
...I go where I went, and here we are
back where we started, 20 years ago.
For every shoe there is a mate.
Mrs. Carmela, sorry, but my husband
has come to get extra TV set...
...you said I could have.
Sure, go right ahead.
If there's one thing we don't
lack here, it's TV sets.
Lilliana, the remote is down there
somewhere too, it's on the shelves.
- Hello, missus. Thank you for TV.
- Oh, Stasiu, please. Enjoy.
The poor thing. In Poland he was
a mechanical engineer...
...here, he's driving a cab.
What's the matter? You all right?
No, I'm fine. I'm fine.
I gotta go.
Answering machine.
Christopher, where is he?
He's always here.
- This is fucked.
- What?
This. Us. Look at us.
We're like two scared rabbits.
- Douche bags.
- Don't say that.
Sean, grow up to reality.
We are nowhere.
Buying fish? Punching safes?
What is that? And for what?
We're just starting.
It's what you do.
We got stockbroker licenses.
I went to Pace College!
- Fuck. It's true, huh?
- We're fucked.
We gotta do something to get ahead.
Mom, I don't believe it,
and don't deny it!
I told you not to let Lilliana
into my room!
Look at the money they waste
on these CD-ROMs.
MindSpring, Earthlink,
what are these exactly?
Don't change the subject!
It's my room!
There were clothes a foot deep
on the floor.
You had half the bath towels.
- Don't exaggerate.
- Wet! It was starting to smell.
It's my room,
and that's the way I want it!
- I don't bitch about your room!
- Your room is in my house.
As long as you live here,
there are limits.
I won't be here for long!
I'm 18...
...going to college. I can
take care of myself, so bug out!
- Oh, you can?
- That's right!
You know what? You're right.
You are right.
You can take care of yourself.
Thank you.
You're going off on your
own to a wonderful college.
What right do I have to interfere?
- What's going on?
- Nothing I can think of.
Except it's Tuesday, 3:00.
So we gotta talk about something.
Okay, spin the wheel.
Here's something that's been
bothering me.
- I gave my daughter a car.
- Really?
Yeah, a used car. One of those SUVs.
You know, a '92 Pathfinder.
It belonged to a friend
of hers from school.
It came into my possession because
of a debt by the kid's father.
This is the way he made payment.
You gave her her friend's car?
It was a nice, safe car to which
I had the pink slip.
What's bothering you?
I must've known she'd know that it
was this kid's car...
...and how I got it.
You know, and she'd freak out.
- Then why'd you give it to her?
- I don't know.
For all these years I been shielding
and protecting her...
...from certain truths.
- So now I want to rub her nose in it?
- Any thoughts on that?
Well, this kid's father,
he's a fucking degenerate gambler.
But also a respected businessman
in the community and so on.
- One of your "Happy Wanderers."
- How do you remember this?
So it becomes my fault
he lost his kid's car?
I gotta look out for this bastard?
My friend Artie's got a restaurant.
Now, no one's telling him
to refuse a plate of fettuccine...
...to some fat fuck wandering in
eating himself to death.
Maybe that's what you said to her.
- What?
- By giving her the SUV.
- Wanting her to confront ambiguities.
- English.
Meadow's going to be going away
to college next year.
- That's why she needs the car.
- Leaving the nest.
- Not those fucking ducks again.
- Maybe you were...
...preparing her for reality, to fly.
You people are something.
I give my little daughter a car
to rub her face in shit...
...and you tell me
I did something noble?
We're getting to something here.
- Times up.
- Look, we're doing good work.
What? You feel you're cured?
Fine, I'll sit here.
But I got nothing else to say.
Yeah. Did you call me?
Oh, get the fuck out of here.
I'm supposed to go all the way
there to check a ramp?
- Christopher, what's up?
- Hey, what's up, man?
Get that motherfucker!
- Get him!
- Fucking seat belt!
(CAR ALARM GOING OFF)
(SIRENS)
- Richie.
- Yeah, what?
Matt Drinkwater, Bevilaqua.
Hear what happened to Christopher?
- Yeah, somebody blew him up.
- It was us. Me and Sean.
- It was what? You?
- Sean's dead. Christopher killed him.
- So, what are you doing here?
- We did it for you. A favor.
- What are you saying?
- You don't like him.
- So what?
- He hit your niece.
Jesus, are you crazy?
That's all I need now for that fuck...
...to think I had a part of this.
- You gotta help me, man.
- I'll help you. I'll fucking help you!
Hide me, I'm with you now.
Who told you to do that? Get out of
here, you dumb fuck! I'll kill you!
How can this happen?
How could this happen?
(BREATHING MACHINE BEEPING)