The Sopranos (1999–2007): Season 2, Episode 3 - Toodle-Fucking-Oo - full transcript
Richie Aprile gets out after ten years in prison and starts reasserting his authority while unaware of the changes made in the crime family's archetype. Meadow gets in trouble after a party gets out of hand.
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(SOPRANOS THEME SONG)
Hey, no speeding.
This is a party zone!
(ROWDY CHATTER)
Come on! We can do it!
Hey, Janet Jackson.
Hi, Mr. Soprano!
Where's Meadow?
I give up. In the house?
- Tony.
- Billy, thanks for calling.
As soon as I found out
it was your mom's place.
O.D. Friend says
Special K and ecstasy.
- You fucking kidding me?
- Your kid's all right.
She's a little drunk.
321, repeat,
you're breaking up.
529, are you in pursuit
of vehicle on 75 North?
- In your grandmother's house.
- It wasn't my fault.
If I had a quarter
every time I heard that...
...I'd have a private jet
on 24-hour standby.
Get in the car.
(VOMITING)
- In your grandmother's house.
- Now he's repeating himself.
Just lucky I knew that cop.
So he cut me a favor.
Let me guess, he owes you money?
(CAR APPROACHING)
- What did she do?
- Go upstairs.
- No, I want to see the fight.
- Get your little ass up those stairs!
Meadow!
- We can talk about it in the morning.
- Get down here!
Let her go to bed.
I want her to answer for herself!
She's drunk! Was she driving?
I could've taken ecstasy but I didn't!
Don't puke on the floor!
You still up? Go to bed!
- She's on ecstasy and you yell at me?
- Get up there!
What did she say for herself?
The usual shit. "Wasn't my fault."
There was designer drugs there, Tony.
So, what did you say?
I don't know. I yelled.
What the fuck else am I gonna do?
You sure you're gonna
be all right, Uncle Rich?
I want to walk.
See if I run into any
of the old crowd.
Thanks, doll.
Motherfucker.
There has to be consequences.
What kind of parents would we be
if we let her get away with this?
Typical?
Plenty of parents
still crack the whip.
Yeah, that's what they tell you.
I cannot wait until
she goes off to college.
Oh, right, so you can get
Empty Nest Syndrome...
...and go on Wellbutrin
like your sister.
As a parent today, you are over
a barrel no matter what you do.
You take the car, you're a chauffeur.
Ground her, you stay in
and be a prison guard.
Throw her out,
social services returns her...
...and we face a judge.
She's not 18 yet.
That's your solution?
All I'm saying, with the laws today,
you can't restrain your kid physically.
She could sue you for child abuse.
There has to be consequences.
And there will be.
I hear you, okay?
Let's not overplay our hand. If she
knows we're powerless, we're fucked.
Hey.
That guy wants to talk to you.
Jesus. Mother of Christ! Richie.
So when did you get out?
How come nobody told me?
That's funny. Paulie Walnuts
told me he ran into you this morning.
Honest to fucking God,
nobody said a word.
Just shut the fuck up.
You know, I did a lot of meditation
in the can on this.
On what?
You can't believe how crazy things...
- You ever meditate?
- Me? Meditate?
- Are you crazy?
- Not as crazy as I used to be.
But still crazy enough
to take an eye out.
What's going on here, Rich?
Ten years. And not even a pleasant
"Go fuck yourself" from you I get.
You know, I always asked
how you were doing.
Hold on there. You.
How could you let my dear friend
sit here with an empty cup?
- I'm sorry.
- That's all right.
Take it easy, kid.
Bring this gentleman
a veal-parm sandwich.
And hurry the fuck up about it.
The other two stores
doing as good as this?
Come on, you know, it's a grind.
That doesn't answer my question.
Rich, I know you're a made guy,
so I lose either way.
But I always respected you
and your brother, Jackie.
I'm no victim here.
I'm not some greaseball storeowner.
I'm sorry, Richie.
I will not be shaken down.
This sucking up to Tony Soprano
has done wonders for you.
I go away for a while. I come back,
you're a tough guy.
- Don't do this.
- Do what?
Take what's owed to me?
- What's owed to you?
- I put you in action, Beansie.
You got a bad memory, Beansie.
Veal parmigiana sandwich.
Fuck you.
I'll be back every Saturday, partner.
I don't fucking believe this.
I'm being shaken down, for what?
Tell me, what did I do?
This is not right.
I'm not gonna fucking lay down.
I'll step up.
Won't lay down, huh? You don't want
to lay dawn? You piece of shit!
All right, let's get her down here.
I guess.
- Where is the Bride of Frankenstein?
- She's still sleeping.
- Yeah, right. Go wake her up.
- I wake her up?
I want to get this shit
out of the way before I go out.
- You guys are making too much of this.
- I don't think we're making enough.
She was drunk.
Her choice. There's a Zuni saying:
"For every 20 wrongs
a child does, ignore 19."
There's an old Italian saying:
"You fuck up once, you lose two teeth."
That's what all this is about.
Ego and control.
- I beg your pardon?
- No, don't try to make sense with her.
No, I want to understand this.
Go ahead, tell me.
You want to hold on to control
over a young woman...
...whose entire
biological determinism...
...is to achieve independent
thought and behavior.
She's exercised her independence...
...but you want to penalize her
because you don't like her choices.
Go get a fucking permanent.
I'm trying to watch TV!
Well.
Good morning.
I'm sorry, is it afternoon?
- Mom, please.
- Please what?
- You'd better have some answers.
- (TONY) Yeah. That's right!
- Fine. You're punished.
- For what? I didn't do anything!
You did nothing?
- It wasn't my fault!
- It's never your fault, Meadow.
It was gonna be me,
Hunter and the Macaluso twins.
Then Steve shows up with Adam
and people from Boonton!
So Steve's just trying doorknobs
till he hits the jackpot?
- No, Hunter tells him.
- Now with the Hunter.
And she's at home, blaming it on you.
It's an old game.
You try studying day and night
to get into college.
- We work hard. We deserved a night!
- Take it easy.
Take it easy.
I'm sorry you're under a lot of
pressure. It's still no excuse.
- So who was this ecstasy guy?
- I just told you. Adam.
I don't know him.
He came with Steve.
The Steve I know?
The school kid you're always with?
He's a flake. Why do you think
I stopped hanging with him?
That's news to me you don't
hang out with Steve.
It's painful to talk about, okay?
You're gonna get punished.
Look, you guys,
I know what I did was not okay.
I've been thinking about it a lot and
really not feeling good about myself.
You should take away my Discover card.
- You better believe it!
- That's right!
For two weeks.
Three!
How do I buy gas?
Your allowance.
I spent my allowance.
And I already owe Mom.
The Pashmina.
We can wait on that.
You get 10 dollars a week. Cash.
No more.
Till you get your card back.
For gas!
Come here.
Look at you.
You look great. You're sinew.
You sack of shit. If you lost that
baby fat, you'd disappoint me.
Hey, fuck you.
You been laid yet?
God, what's wrong? I'm trying.
Hey, I said 4:00.
I leave before
the stock market closes...
...you yell for not watching
the phone guys.
Meet Richie Aprile.
Jesus Christ, how you doing?
Your brother, Jackie,
was like a fucking god.
A great leader.
And I heard a lot about you.
Yeah, well, I heard a lot about you.
That's why I'm here.
What do you mean?
Out of respect for our friend here,
I'm gonna talk nice.
I ever hear you raise your hands
to my niece again...
...next time you won't see my face.
You understand?
Who told you I put my hand on her?
Is this kid getting jerky with me?
Look, kid, I shouldn't
have to explain myself.
I'm from the old school.
You want to raise your hands,
give her your last name.
Then it's not my business.
Until then, keep your hands
in your pockets.
We understand each other?
Now get out of here.
I want to talk to Tony.
Go ahead.
He's a good kid.
Capable.
Look, Ton, this is the thing.
I want to get my shy business back.
I keep getting calls
from Jackie's customers...
- Where the fuck are you going?
- I'll talk to you later, Richie.
What just happened?
No more business talk
with him directly.
You fucking with me?
You can talk to him.
But not now.
And never here.
Can you believe we drank
a whole bottle of wine?
Thank God!
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
- We're out of here.
- Okay.
Richie broke a chair over his head.
You shitting me?
Hit him with a coffeepot too.
Broke his cheekbone.
Prick. I talked to him yesterday.
He's all sweetness and lights.
Already this shit's getting old.
Yo, bright eyes.
- Where you going?
- This isn't the Bing, huh?
Fuck did I say?
Hey, how have you been?
Can't complain.
- You look good.
- Where did your friends go?
- Tell them to come back, join us.
- No, they're leaving.
First time here. Excellent veal.
We making small talk now?
Nice to see you.
Yeah, you too.
- Toodle-oo.
- Bye-bye.
Not a bad ass.
She had nice pipe-fitter lips.
No disrespect.
Hey, what do I give a fuck?
I hardly know her.
You mean, you would take
the lips over the tits?
Trust me, my boy.
There's two things I'm good at:
It's pulling dents
and spotting good blowjobs.
And that sweetie had
world-class blowjob lips.
Am I right, skipper? Good or no?
What the fuck do I know?
It was a long time ago.
All right, she was good. All right?
Good?
Or great?
Why you busting my balls?
It was a long time ago.
Hey, I remember
every blowjob I ever got.
You remember your first blowjob?
Yeah, of course.
How long did it take
for the guy to come?
I said, "You remember
your first blowjob?"
"Yeah." "How long did it take
for the guy to come?"
"Toodle-fucking-oo"?
What the fuck was that?
I couldn't sleep
from the embarrassment.
What was so wrong?
It's an accepted form of goodbye.
That's not the way
I talk with patients.
It wasn't me. It was someone else.
It was Jennifer.
For whatever reason, at that moment,
you felt safer showing him Jennifer.
What did you see at that table
that made you want to hide "Doctor"?
Who were you hiding from?
I saw a patient that
I never wanted to see again.
That's who I was hiding from.
A patient.
When you say "see"...
...do you mean professionally
or just plain "see"?
- What's the difference?
- There's a big difference.
If it was just a matter
of just plain old "see"...
...the cordial doctor
would've said, "Good night."
But, because he's someone you didn't
want to see professionally...
...you abandoned the doctor fa?ade
and adopted the Jennifer posture.
Hence, "Toodle-oo."
You're almost there,
Elliot, but not quite.
Young girls are not accountable
for their behavior.
I think "Toodle-oo" was the action
of a ditsy young girl.
And I regressed into the girl thing
to escape responsibility...
...for abandoning a patient.
He asked me for help.
Look, I need you as a colleague
to tell me that I did the right thing.
You gotta ask yourself
why you became a psychiatrist.
If it was to help people stop
smoking or biting nails...
...then so be it.
There's nothing wrong with that.
Another patient committed suicide
because I was treating this man.
Because I had to go on the lam.
Treating patients from a motel room
isn't optimum...
...but you were there for her,
in phone contact.
It would have been the same
if you'd been on vacation.
Did you say "lam"?
(YOGA INSTRUCTOR)
And lifting up into Cobra.
And now rising up
into Downward Facing Dog.
Coming back down into Cobra.
And relaxing into Child's Pose.
Richie.
Janice. You know,
I thought that was you.
"Parvati."
I changed my name to Parvati in '78.
I thought you lived in California now.
Seattle, actually, last couple years.
- So, how long you been?
- Out of jail?
One week. That's where
I picked up this yoga shit.
It's working. You seem very supple.
I'm doing a lot of stretching.
- So you back now?
- My mom's at St. Erasmus. A stroke.
Sorry to hear that.
Tony didn't say anything about it.
- Guess we're all getting a little old.
- Only if that's our choice.
Drag me all the way out here...
I walk through the food court,
this kid spills fried rice on me.
Take it easy.
Keep your voice down. Let's talk.
Yeah, let's. How would you feel?
Your crew evaporates, then you walk
away from me like I got a disease.
I don't talk business.
Don't take it personal.
I'm a government target.
Why do you think we're meeting
in a fucking mall?
It feels disrespectful.
You know, that's all I'm saying.
I'm the guy who saved you
from the hit parade.
When? When did you ever
step in for me?
You forget?
You and my brother stuck up
Feech LaManna's card game?
Feech was a made man.
If it wasn't for me, you would've got
a vicious beating, to say the least.
You know I love you.
You're like my big brother.
You'll be taken care of.
What was yours before you left
will be yours again.
You just gotta give us some time.
Jeez, Anthony, you'd do that for me?
Hey, fuck you.
What's mine is not yours to give me.
- Hey, prick, you reached out to me.
- I said what I wanted to say.
Well, we got a problem, kid?
I'm trying to get you to slow down.
Things are different now.
You gotta be extra, extra careful.
When do you know me not to be careful?
When?
You been out of the can 10 minutes,
you shake down Beansie for a piece.
Do me a favor, back off.
He's a good earner.
Yeah, for you.
That's none of your fucking cazzi.
Those joints are a cash business.
They come in handy.
- He's a sneaky cocksucker.
- Whatever, back off.
You taking the side
of a civilian over me?
Christ, I'm asking you
to do me a favor.
Do it if you want to.
If you don't, go fuck yourself.
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.
How's your sister?
- There's no need for that talk.
- What?
My sister.
Janice. How's she doing?
Oh, I thought you were baiting me.
You know...
"How's your sister?"
"Fuck your mother."
No.
(DOOR SLAMS)
See what she did?
- Who?
- Meadow.
That house is fucked!
- Thought you didn't swear.
- What are you talking about?
I'm outraged.
No, I am beyond outraged.
Talk about disgrace? Disrespect for
other people's property?
It's like a freaking
shooting gallery.
It smells of urine, there's puke
all over the hardwood floors...
- Sounds like your place in Venice.
- She's been punished.
Three weeks without a card.
Oh, Madonna,
that's some heavy shit there!
- Janice...
- If that was my child...
You got a lot of fucking balls,
you know that?
- Don't talk to me like that.
- Let's clear the air here.
You're a Vishnu-come-lately,
playing concerned.
Who the fuck are you kidding?
You're here to pick
the frigging bones.
There's a lot I could say right now
that I am not gonna say.
A lot of balls.
Temper tantrums.
He hasn't changed one iota
since we lived in Newark. Not one!
You're passing judgment on him, Janice.
On us as parents.
How we discipline our children
is none of anybody's business.
You let that girl walk all over you,
you'll regret it.
Mother of God, Janice!
Are all of you Sopranos the same?
I ask you nicely to stay out of it,
you pretend not to hear.
Maybe you'll hear this.
Mind your fucking business. Keep your
mouth shut when it comes to my kids!
Alright?!
Maybe I've stayed here too long.
The fall in the shower didn't affect
your pre-existing heart condition.
- But you already knew that.
- It never hurts to be sure.
Fucking bum hip.
What next does the Man Upstairs
have in store for me?
You're lucky it was a sprain.
The thing is, doc, I've been feeling
these, like, little fibrillations.
Psychosomatic.
You got out of jail on a medical.
It's the mind-body connection.
Your body's just pitching in to help.
(KNOCKING)
Hey!
There's my boy!
I was afraid you didn't
get the message.
Put a shirt on,
I'm getting a chubby.
Doc, this is one of my dearest friends.
Richie, this is the best heart man
in the world, Doug Schreck.
Mr. Soprano oversold me.
I'm only the best in the Western world.
Fucking ball-breaker.
Doc, do me a favor?
Me and Richie...
Yeah, no problem.
He's good. Lets me use his doctor-
patient privilege to meet people here.
Fucking house arrest.
Federal marshals so far up my ass,
I can taste Brylcreem.
Jesus, you look good.
How you feeling?
Better than some,
not as bad as others.
I gotta meet Tony at a mall, you here.
What the fuck is happening?
Like the man said,
"May you live in interesting times."
You met with Tony?
It's more like a fucking audience
with the pope.
What are you gonna do?
Whatever you tell me.
You and your brother
were always good boys.
You tell me this is the way it is,
then so be it.
You tell me otherwise...
...I'm yours, Junior.
Whatever, whoever.
You just say it.
Once again, a big welcome home
to our guest of honor.
Richie was surprised by
the changes in 10 years.
New Jersey has a hockey team.
It's interesting,
Meadowlands is the only NHL arena...
...where the penalty box
is maximum-security.
Maximum-security penalty box.
Help me.
What the fuck?
I was talking to Paulie Walnuts...
...who thought that Richie
had been in Bosnia...
...where there's also
a large Muslim population.
- That's it. Out of here.
- Enough.
And now for all you youngsters with
visions of tit-fucking in your head...
...here are the Bing girls!
Come on!
(APPLAUSE)
Hey.
Welcome home.
Wait till you open it. It's all ones.
I'm a grandfather now, Rich.
Imagine that?
Please, no pictures.
Exploiting medical curiosities
is against the law.
That why they canceled
your mom's audition?
What did you say?
- It's a homecoming.
- Cocksucker.
Take a walk.
Welcome home, Rich.
- Is Beansie here?
- Haven't seen him.
Richie, how's your balls?
They're hanging.
Ready and waiting.
What?
Go with Silvio.
- Who?
- Go!
I'll hold this.
- Don't worry about it.
- Come on.
This guy.
Trust me!
He's got a real
fucking attitude problem.
- Careful.
- Come on.
He just did 10 fucking years.
He has a right to be a bit fucked up.
No.
Richie will be all right.
(MOANING)
Yeah, Yeah.
I see you like the dark.
Yeah, something like that.
Silvio says we can't take it.
Whose joint did you just cop,
mine or his?
- Did we do something wrong?
- You were fine.
Get out of here.
(APPLAUSE)
Hey, buddy!
What the fuck are you doing?
What'd you think Tony Soprano
was gonna do for you?
You got a raging hard-on for me.
- I don't know what for!
- You don't?
- Come here!
- No.
Come here! Come here!
How come you weren't at the party?
I moved a lot of H for you...
...and you made the lion's share.
You're just bitter because I invested
my money smart and you didn't.
I spent mine on lawyers,
you slippery fuck!
You want to talk like a tough guy?
Tough guy, here!
Hey, come on. Please, no guns.
What happened to
"I'm no greaseball storeowner"?
Tell me again how
you won't lay down, huh?
(GUNSHOT)
(HORN HONKING)
Asshole!
(LOUD MUSIC)
Janice?
- I'm sorry, is the music too loud?
- Oh, no, it's fine.
I just wanted to apologize.
You know, about earlier.
No, I should be apologizing to you.
I was out of line.
You're right.
I never raised a child.
I was robbed of that when Eugene
took him back to Montreal.
I'm petitioning
the State Department...
...but they have me on their
enemy radicals list, so...
When was the last time you saw Harpo?
He changed his name to Hal.
I'm sorry, Carm,
can we not talk about him?
Look, I just want you to know
that I was way out of line.
Well, I'm sorry too.
Really, I just feel terrible.
You know, you're family.
And family means a lot.
I just don't feel right
about you leaving here.
I don't know.
I don't think Tony wants me here.
Where will you go? The house is in no
condition to move into, especially now.
I'll be all right.
No, I'm sorry.
I really can't let you leave.
Really, I want you to stay.
Okay.
- Okay.
- All right.
- Well, good night.
- Good night.
Oh, maybe just a little bit.
The music.
Oh, all right.
(HONKING)
Richie, no! Richie, no!
Jesus!
(POP SONG PLAYING)
- Do I put the chocolate in now?
- Put it in, I'll pour the milk.
What did your parents
say about Saturday?
The usual. Nothing.
They're afraid I'll go bulimic again.
Mine just "blah, blah, blah."
Purge and they won't say anything.
When will they realize we're adults,
responsible for ourselves?
So we had a party
at your grandmother's.
Would they prefer we go to Limelight?
Hello!
It's because they have no life.
They focus on bullshit.
So, what did yours do?
They took my Discover card
for three weeks.
- That's nothing.
- I know, it was my idea.
- Dicks.
- So hypocritical too.
When you think how my dad
makes a living.
Oh, jeez! What is this?
- Why don't you ring for the nurse?
- Never you mind!
That's their job.
I don't need them.
My daughter came
all the way from Seattle.
(TV BLARING)
Oh, Jesus!
(KNOCKING)
Hello?
- She rang for you.
- I did not.
Mrs. Soprano.
- Who are you?
- Richie.
Richie Aprile.
But I thought you were dead.
No, hon, that was my brother, Jackie.
Oh, I'm sorry.
How did he die, the poor baby?
He had cancer.
Me too.
Shut that curtain, will ya?
You know, I was in a private room.
My Johnny would roll over
in his grave if he saw this.
Oh, they wheel people in and out,
in and out. Oh, go on!
So isn't Parvati supposed to be here?
I don't know who that is.
Your daughter, Parvati. Janice.
Oh, yeah, please.
Don't start with that name business.
She did it to shame me.
(JANICE) You'll have to have your
tea without lemon.
Richie.
You see the beautiful flowers
he brought me?
Yeah, see? Your father
has friends with class.
Not like some people.
Ma, he's not one of Dad's friends.
He's my friend.
You mean, he's your boyfriend?
Remember? You used to yell at me...
...for beeping my horn
when I came to pick up Janice.
Pimps beep!
You know, someday somebody's gonna
wash out your mouth with soap, hon.
Oh, yeah, who? You?
Oh, I wish the Lord would take me.
Ohh, Ma, Statazeet.
- The man's come to visit you.
- Take it easy!
Is that how you talk to your mother?
You lay the same trip
on everybody who comes.
- Don't you have any shame?
- Shame?
Oh, I got plenty of shame.
Believe me.
You don't want to hear
what I'm ashamed of.
Go ahead, Ma. Shoot your best shot.
Never you mind.
Just remember what
we talked about last week.
Ma, I'm gonna go to
the cafeteria for some coffee.
- Are you coming back?
- Yes.
I bet you're very good to your mother.
She'll be better when I get her home.
Does that mean you're sticking around?
- If I don't, who'll take care of her?
- What about Tony?
Long story.
You haven't heard what happened?
Tony blames everyone else...
...for anything bad in life,
including Ma.
Tony? No.
Trust me. Nothing's ever his fault.
So, what's with the flowers,
Mr. Candy Stripe?
I couldn't visit her empty-handed.
Oh.
- You weren't at yoga.
- I'm very busy with my mother.
Too busy for dinner?
We weren't good together
20 years ago.
Why do you think
it's any different now?
Let's get to the point.
After getting to where I am, it'd be
ridiculous to decompensate now.
I am so not that person anymore.
It works both ways.
You know, I don't think I'd be
interested in the same Jan I knew.
- So, what, you've grown?
- Well, you tell me.
Did you ever think you'd
see Richie Aprile doing...
...Downward Facing Dog?
- Can she put more gook shit in here?
- It's not that much.
Soy milk, tofu, I hate all that shit!
(A.J.) Yeah, me too.
Shut up, you said you liked soy milk.
I lied. She was taking me
to the video store.
I'm happy Aunt Parvati's staying.
The one who thinks you're spoiled?
It wasn't my fault.
How many fucking times I gotta say it?
- Hey!
- Whoa!
Don't look like you're gonna cry.
You made your bed.
I need $15.
Excuse me?
A Cole Porter CD. It's for Madrigals.
We're doing three of his songs.
You took my card, remember?
Here.
What's your problem?
Nothing.
Thank you, by the way!
Janice should be home by now.
My sister was almost out
and you fall for her con?
She can't afford a motel.
How about she goes back
to where she was for 20 years...
...while I took care of our mother?
I thought we couldn't
mention Grandma in this house.
(CARMELA) Fine. I'm not gonna
argue with you, Tony.
You tell her to leave.
I won't. It's not Christian.
See? This shit works out.
She's a Buddhist.
(JANICE)
Hello!
We're in here, Par.
- Isn't it cruel to cut flowers?
- Richie gave them to Ma.
- They're beautiful.
- Aren't they?
Richie?
Richie Aprile?
He went to visit her.
You know he always loved Ma.
All right, I gotta go.
You better water them.
I think I hear them crying.
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
(WIZARD OF OZ MUSIC PLAYING)
(TRUCK HORN HONKING)
(CRASHING SOUNDS)
(FEMALE SOBBING)
Aw, Jesus Christ!
Peter, you're scaring your mother.
Leave me the fuck alone.
Hey, is that a way to talk?
Tony?
Can you pick up the BBC
on that thing, or what?
- No jokes please, Tony.
- (NURSE) Only family.
Let him stay.
How you doing, pal?
You said he wasn't
gonna bother me, Tony.
Jesus.
They said I might not walk.
(FEMALE) Come on, Mom. Let's go
downstairs for a little while.
You gonna let that animal
get away with this?
I'll let you talk to your "friend."
Don't listen to these fucking doctors.
When it comes to spinal injuries,
it's all a mystery to them.
Paulie's cousin got run over
by a forklift. Broke his back.
The guy's dancing
in tango competitions.
(SOBBING)
All right, here.
Here.
I can't do it.
Ah, ah...
Come on.
Thanks.
Thanks, Tony.
I might not be able to wipe
my own ass, you know that?
Your nose is as far
as I'm willing to go.
(LAUGHING)
Listen...
...Beans.
You 1000% sure it was
Richie Aprile driving?
A thousand percent? No.
A fucking million percent.
And let me tell you something.
He's lucky I ain't no rat fuck.
Because the law knows
that was no random hit-and-run.
Don't start talking foolish.
We're old school, right?
We wash our own dirty laundry.
Hey, am I right, Beans?
Yeah, yeah. Old school.
Okay, good.
So you here to see your ma?
I hear she's upstairs.
No, I came here to see you, you prick.
That's okay.
Go do what you gotta do.
- I told you to back off Beansie.
- I did. Then I put it in drive.
This is funny?
He might never walk again.
Did you know that? And for what?
He didn't duke you enough?
He didn't visit you in the can?
When did you visit anybody in the can?
When's the last time you gave a fuck
about anybody but yourself?
You remember one thing,
and listen good.
You want to talk this old school shit?
Here's a rule you might remember:
I'm the motherfucking fucking one
who calls the shots.
You pay me the respect I gave your
brother or we're gonna have a problem.
A bad one.
Now get the fuck out of here.
All right, Tony.
Yeah. All right.
- Hey.
- How you doing?
I'll open it, you change the locks.
Okay.
(COUGHING)
(ROCK SONG PLAYING)
---
(SOPRANOS THEME SONG)
Hey, no speeding.
This is a party zone!
(ROWDY CHATTER)
Come on! We can do it!
Hey, Janet Jackson.
Hi, Mr. Soprano!
Where's Meadow?
I give up. In the house?
- Tony.
- Billy, thanks for calling.
As soon as I found out
it was your mom's place.
O.D. Friend says
Special K and ecstasy.
- You fucking kidding me?
- Your kid's all right.
She's a little drunk.
321, repeat,
you're breaking up.
529, are you in pursuit
of vehicle on 75 North?
- In your grandmother's house.
- It wasn't my fault.
If I had a quarter
every time I heard that...
...I'd have a private jet
on 24-hour standby.
Get in the car.
(VOMITING)
- In your grandmother's house.
- Now he's repeating himself.
Just lucky I knew that cop.
So he cut me a favor.
Let me guess, he owes you money?
(CAR APPROACHING)
- What did she do?
- Go upstairs.
- No, I want to see the fight.
- Get your little ass up those stairs!
Meadow!
- We can talk about it in the morning.
- Get down here!
Let her go to bed.
I want her to answer for herself!
She's drunk! Was she driving?
I could've taken ecstasy but I didn't!
Don't puke on the floor!
You still up? Go to bed!
- She's on ecstasy and you yell at me?
- Get up there!
What did she say for herself?
The usual shit. "Wasn't my fault."
There was designer drugs there, Tony.
So, what did you say?
I don't know. I yelled.
What the fuck else am I gonna do?
You sure you're gonna
be all right, Uncle Rich?
I want to walk.
See if I run into any
of the old crowd.
Thanks, doll.
Motherfucker.
There has to be consequences.
What kind of parents would we be
if we let her get away with this?
Typical?
Plenty of parents
still crack the whip.
Yeah, that's what they tell you.
I cannot wait until
she goes off to college.
Oh, right, so you can get
Empty Nest Syndrome...
...and go on Wellbutrin
like your sister.
As a parent today, you are over
a barrel no matter what you do.
You take the car, you're a chauffeur.
Ground her, you stay in
and be a prison guard.
Throw her out,
social services returns her...
...and we face a judge.
She's not 18 yet.
That's your solution?
All I'm saying, with the laws today,
you can't restrain your kid physically.
She could sue you for child abuse.
There has to be consequences.
And there will be.
I hear you, okay?
Let's not overplay our hand. If she
knows we're powerless, we're fucked.
Hey.
That guy wants to talk to you.
Jesus. Mother of Christ! Richie.
So when did you get out?
How come nobody told me?
That's funny. Paulie Walnuts
told me he ran into you this morning.
Honest to fucking God,
nobody said a word.
Just shut the fuck up.
You know, I did a lot of meditation
in the can on this.
On what?
You can't believe how crazy things...
- You ever meditate?
- Me? Meditate?
- Are you crazy?
- Not as crazy as I used to be.
But still crazy enough
to take an eye out.
What's going on here, Rich?
Ten years. And not even a pleasant
"Go fuck yourself" from you I get.
You know, I always asked
how you were doing.
Hold on there. You.
How could you let my dear friend
sit here with an empty cup?
- I'm sorry.
- That's all right.
Take it easy, kid.
Bring this gentleman
a veal-parm sandwich.
And hurry the fuck up about it.
The other two stores
doing as good as this?
Come on, you know, it's a grind.
That doesn't answer my question.
Rich, I know you're a made guy,
so I lose either way.
But I always respected you
and your brother, Jackie.
I'm no victim here.
I'm not some greaseball storeowner.
I'm sorry, Richie.
I will not be shaken down.
This sucking up to Tony Soprano
has done wonders for you.
I go away for a while. I come back,
you're a tough guy.
- Don't do this.
- Do what?
Take what's owed to me?
- What's owed to you?
- I put you in action, Beansie.
You got a bad memory, Beansie.
Veal parmigiana sandwich.
Fuck you.
I'll be back every Saturday, partner.
I don't fucking believe this.
I'm being shaken down, for what?
Tell me, what did I do?
This is not right.
I'm not gonna fucking lay down.
I'll step up.
Won't lay down, huh? You don't want
to lay dawn? You piece of shit!
All right, let's get her down here.
I guess.
- Where is the Bride of Frankenstein?
- She's still sleeping.
- Yeah, right. Go wake her up.
- I wake her up?
I want to get this shit
out of the way before I go out.
- You guys are making too much of this.
- I don't think we're making enough.
She was drunk.
Her choice. There's a Zuni saying:
"For every 20 wrongs
a child does, ignore 19."
There's an old Italian saying:
"You fuck up once, you lose two teeth."
That's what all this is about.
Ego and control.
- I beg your pardon?
- No, don't try to make sense with her.
No, I want to understand this.
Go ahead, tell me.
You want to hold on to control
over a young woman...
...whose entire
biological determinism...
...is to achieve independent
thought and behavior.
She's exercised her independence...
...but you want to penalize her
because you don't like her choices.
Go get a fucking permanent.
I'm trying to watch TV!
Well.
Good morning.
I'm sorry, is it afternoon?
- Mom, please.
- Please what?
- You'd better have some answers.
- (TONY) Yeah. That's right!
- Fine. You're punished.
- For what? I didn't do anything!
You did nothing?
- It wasn't my fault!
- It's never your fault, Meadow.
It was gonna be me,
Hunter and the Macaluso twins.
Then Steve shows up with Adam
and people from Boonton!
So Steve's just trying doorknobs
till he hits the jackpot?
- No, Hunter tells him.
- Now with the Hunter.
And she's at home, blaming it on you.
It's an old game.
You try studying day and night
to get into college.
- We work hard. We deserved a night!
- Take it easy.
Take it easy.
I'm sorry you're under a lot of
pressure. It's still no excuse.
- So who was this ecstasy guy?
- I just told you. Adam.
I don't know him.
He came with Steve.
The Steve I know?
The school kid you're always with?
He's a flake. Why do you think
I stopped hanging with him?
That's news to me you don't
hang out with Steve.
It's painful to talk about, okay?
You're gonna get punished.
Look, you guys,
I know what I did was not okay.
I've been thinking about it a lot and
really not feeling good about myself.
You should take away my Discover card.
- You better believe it!
- That's right!
For two weeks.
Three!
How do I buy gas?
Your allowance.
I spent my allowance.
And I already owe Mom.
The Pashmina.
We can wait on that.
You get 10 dollars a week. Cash.
No more.
Till you get your card back.
For gas!
Come here.
Look at you.
You look great. You're sinew.
You sack of shit. If you lost that
baby fat, you'd disappoint me.
Hey, fuck you.
You been laid yet?
God, what's wrong? I'm trying.
Hey, I said 4:00.
I leave before
the stock market closes...
...you yell for not watching
the phone guys.
Meet Richie Aprile.
Jesus Christ, how you doing?
Your brother, Jackie,
was like a fucking god.
A great leader.
And I heard a lot about you.
Yeah, well, I heard a lot about you.
That's why I'm here.
What do you mean?
Out of respect for our friend here,
I'm gonna talk nice.
I ever hear you raise your hands
to my niece again...
...next time you won't see my face.
You understand?
Who told you I put my hand on her?
Is this kid getting jerky with me?
Look, kid, I shouldn't
have to explain myself.
I'm from the old school.
You want to raise your hands,
give her your last name.
Then it's not my business.
Until then, keep your hands
in your pockets.
We understand each other?
Now get out of here.
I want to talk to Tony.
Go ahead.
He's a good kid.
Capable.
Look, Ton, this is the thing.
I want to get my shy business back.
I keep getting calls
from Jackie's customers...
- Where the fuck are you going?
- I'll talk to you later, Richie.
What just happened?
No more business talk
with him directly.
You fucking with me?
You can talk to him.
But not now.
And never here.
Can you believe we drank
a whole bottle of wine?
Thank God!
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
- We're out of here.
- Okay.
Richie broke a chair over his head.
You shitting me?
Hit him with a coffeepot too.
Broke his cheekbone.
Prick. I talked to him yesterday.
He's all sweetness and lights.
Already this shit's getting old.
Yo, bright eyes.
- Where you going?
- This isn't the Bing, huh?
Fuck did I say?
Hey, how have you been?
Can't complain.
- You look good.
- Where did your friends go?
- Tell them to come back, join us.
- No, they're leaving.
First time here. Excellent veal.
We making small talk now?
Nice to see you.
Yeah, you too.
- Toodle-oo.
- Bye-bye.
Not a bad ass.
She had nice pipe-fitter lips.
No disrespect.
Hey, what do I give a fuck?
I hardly know her.
You mean, you would take
the lips over the tits?
Trust me, my boy.
There's two things I'm good at:
It's pulling dents
and spotting good blowjobs.
And that sweetie had
world-class blowjob lips.
Am I right, skipper? Good or no?
What the fuck do I know?
It was a long time ago.
All right, she was good. All right?
Good?
Or great?
Why you busting my balls?
It was a long time ago.
Hey, I remember
every blowjob I ever got.
You remember your first blowjob?
Yeah, of course.
How long did it take
for the guy to come?
I said, "You remember
your first blowjob?"
"Yeah." "How long did it take
for the guy to come?"
"Toodle-fucking-oo"?
What the fuck was that?
I couldn't sleep
from the embarrassment.
What was so wrong?
It's an accepted form of goodbye.
That's not the way
I talk with patients.
It wasn't me. It was someone else.
It was Jennifer.
For whatever reason, at that moment,
you felt safer showing him Jennifer.
What did you see at that table
that made you want to hide "Doctor"?
Who were you hiding from?
I saw a patient that
I never wanted to see again.
That's who I was hiding from.
A patient.
When you say "see"...
...do you mean professionally
or just plain "see"?
- What's the difference?
- There's a big difference.
If it was just a matter
of just plain old "see"...
...the cordial doctor
would've said, "Good night."
But, because he's someone you didn't
want to see professionally...
...you abandoned the doctor fa?ade
and adopted the Jennifer posture.
Hence, "Toodle-oo."
You're almost there,
Elliot, but not quite.
Young girls are not accountable
for their behavior.
I think "Toodle-oo" was the action
of a ditsy young girl.
And I regressed into the girl thing
to escape responsibility...
...for abandoning a patient.
He asked me for help.
Look, I need you as a colleague
to tell me that I did the right thing.
You gotta ask yourself
why you became a psychiatrist.
If it was to help people stop
smoking or biting nails...
...then so be it.
There's nothing wrong with that.
Another patient committed suicide
because I was treating this man.
Because I had to go on the lam.
Treating patients from a motel room
isn't optimum...
...but you were there for her,
in phone contact.
It would have been the same
if you'd been on vacation.
Did you say "lam"?
(YOGA INSTRUCTOR)
And lifting up into Cobra.
And now rising up
into Downward Facing Dog.
Coming back down into Cobra.
And relaxing into Child's Pose.
Richie.
Janice. You know,
I thought that was you.
"Parvati."
I changed my name to Parvati in '78.
I thought you lived in California now.
Seattle, actually, last couple years.
- So, how long you been?
- Out of jail?
One week. That's where
I picked up this yoga shit.
It's working. You seem very supple.
I'm doing a lot of stretching.
- So you back now?
- My mom's at St. Erasmus. A stroke.
Sorry to hear that.
Tony didn't say anything about it.
- Guess we're all getting a little old.
- Only if that's our choice.
Drag me all the way out here...
I walk through the food court,
this kid spills fried rice on me.
Take it easy.
Keep your voice down. Let's talk.
Yeah, let's. How would you feel?
Your crew evaporates, then you walk
away from me like I got a disease.
I don't talk business.
Don't take it personal.
I'm a government target.
Why do you think we're meeting
in a fucking mall?
It feels disrespectful.
You know, that's all I'm saying.
I'm the guy who saved you
from the hit parade.
When? When did you ever
step in for me?
You forget?
You and my brother stuck up
Feech LaManna's card game?
Feech was a made man.
If it wasn't for me, you would've got
a vicious beating, to say the least.
You know I love you.
You're like my big brother.
You'll be taken care of.
What was yours before you left
will be yours again.
You just gotta give us some time.
Jeez, Anthony, you'd do that for me?
Hey, fuck you.
What's mine is not yours to give me.
- Hey, prick, you reached out to me.
- I said what I wanted to say.
Well, we got a problem, kid?
I'm trying to get you to slow down.
Things are different now.
You gotta be extra, extra careful.
When do you know me not to be careful?
When?
You been out of the can 10 minutes,
you shake down Beansie for a piece.
Do me a favor, back off.
He's a good earner.
Yeah, for you.
That's none of your fucking cazzi.
Those joints are a cash business.
They come in handy.
- He's a sneaky cocksucker.
- Whatever, back off.
You taking the side
of a civilian over me?
Christ, I'm asking you
to do me a favor.
Do it if you want to.
If you don't, go fuck yourself.
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.
How's your sister?
- There's no need for that talk.
- What?
My sister.
Janice. How's she doing?
Oh, I thought you were baiting me.
You know...
"How's your sister?"
"Fuck your mother."
No.
(DOOR SLAMS)
See what she did?
- Who?
- Meadow.
That house is fucked!
- Thought you didn't swear.
- What are you talking about?
I'm outraged.
No, I am beyond outraged.
Talk about disgrace? Disrespect for
other people's property?
It's like a freaking
shooting gallery.
It smells of urine, there's puke
all over the hardwood floors...
- Sounds like your place in Venice.
- She's been punished.
Three weeks without a card.
Oh, Madonna,
that's some heavy shit there!
- Janice...
- If that was my child...
You got a lot of fucking balls,
you know that?
- Don't talk to me like that.
- Let's clear the air here.
You're a Vishnu-come-lately,
playing concerned.
Who the fuck are you kidding?
You're here to pick
the frigging bones.
There's a lot I could say right now
that I am not gonna say.
A lot of balls.
Temper tantrums.
He hasn't changed one iota
since we lived in Newark. Not one!
You're passing judgment on him, Janice.
On us as parents.
How we discipline our children
is none of anybody's business.
You let that girl walk all over you,
you'll regret it.
Mother of God, Janice!
Are all of you Sopranos the same?
I ask you nicely to stay out of it,
you pretend not to hear.
Maybe you'll hear this.
Mind your fucking business. Keep your
mouth shut when it comes to my kids!
Alright?!
Maybe I've stayed here too long.
The fall in the shower didn't affect
your pre-existing heart condition.
- But you already knew that.
- It never hurts to be sure.
Fucking bum hip.
What next does the Man Upstairs
have in store for me?
You're lucky it was a sprain.
The thing is, doc, I've been feeling
these, like, little fibrillations.
Psychosomatic.
You got out of jail on a medical.
It's the mind-body connection.
Your body's just pitching in to help.
(KNOCKING)
Hey!
There's my boy!
I was afraid you didn't
get the message.
Put a shirt on,
I'm getting a chubby.
Doc, this is one of my dearest friends.
Richie, this is the best heart man
in the world, Doug Schreck.
Mr. Soprano oversold me.
I'm only the best in the Western world.
Fucking ball-breaker.
Doc, do me a favor?
Me and Richie...
Yeah, no problem.
He's good. Lets me use his doctor-
patient privilege to meet people here.
Fucking house arrest.
Federal marshals so far up my ass,
I can taste Brylcreem.
Jesus, you look good.
How you feeling?
Better than some,
not as bad as others.
I gotta meet Tony at a mall, you here.
What the fuck is happening?
Like the man said,
"May you live in interesting times."
You met with Tony?
It's more like a fucking audience
with the pope.
What are you gonna do?
Whatever you tell me.
You and your brother
were always good boys.
You tell me this is the way it is,
then so be it.
You tell me otherwise...
...I'm yours, Junior.
Whatever, whoever.
You just say it.
Once again, a big welcome home
to our guest of honor.
Richie was surprised by
the changes in 10 years.
New Jersey has a hockey team.
It's interesting,
Meadowlands is the only NHL arena...
...where the penalty box
is maximum-security.
Maximum-security penalty box.
Help me.
What the fuck?
I was talking to Paulie Walnuts...
...who thought that Richie
had been in Bosnia...
...where there's also
a large Muslim population.
- That's it. Out of here.
- Enough.
And now for all you youngsters with
visions of tit-fucking in your head...
...here are the Bing girls!
Come on!
(APPLAUSE)
Hey.
Welcome home.
Wait till you open it. It's all ones.
I'm a grandfather now, Rich.
Imagine that?
Please, no pictures.
Exploiting medical curiosities
is against the law.
That why they canceled
your mom's audition?
What did you say?
- It's a homecoming.
- Cocksucker.
Take a walk.
Welcome home, Rich.
- Is Beansie here?
- Haven't seen him.
Richie, how's your balls?
They're hanging.
Ready and waiting.
What?
Go with Silvio.
- Who?
- Go!
I'll hold this.
- Don't worry about it.
- Come on.
This guy.
Trust me!
He's got a real
fucking attitude problem.
- Careful.
- Come on.
He just did 10 fucking years.
He has a right to be a bit fucked up.
No.
Richie will be all right.
(MOANING)
Yeah, Yeah.
I see you like the dark.
Yeah, something like that.
Silvio says we can't take it.
Whose joint did you just cop,
mine or his?
- Did we do something wrong?
- You were fine.
Get out of here.
(APPLAUSE)
Hey, buddy!
What the fuck are you doing?
What'd you think Tony Soprano
was gonna do for you?
You got a raging hard-on for me.
- I don't know what for!
- You don't?
- Come here!
- No.
Come here! Come here!
How come you weren't at the party?
I moved a lot of H for you...
...and you made the lion's share.
You're just bitter because I invested
my money smart and you didn't.
I spent mine on lawyers,
you slippery fuck!
You want to talk like a tough guy?
Tough guy, here!
Hey, come on. Please, no guns.
What happened to
"I'm no greaseball storeowner"?
Tell me again how
you won't lay down, huh?
(GUNSHOT)
(HORN HONKING)
Asshole!
(LOUD MUSIC)
Janice?
- I'm sorry, is the music too loud?
- Oh, no, it's fine.
I just wanted to apologize.
You know, about earlier.
No, I should be apologizing to you.
I was out of line.
You're right.
I never raised a child.
I was robbed of that when Eugene
took him back to Montreal.
I'm petitioning
the State Department...
...but they have me on their
enemy radicals list, so...
When was the last time you saw Harpo?
He changed his name to Hal.
I'm sorry, Carm,
can we not talk about him?
Look, I just want you to know
that I was way out of line.
Well, I'm sorry too.
Really, I just feel terrible.
You know, you're family.
And family means a lot.
I just don't feel right
about you leaving here.
I don't know.
I don't think Tony wants me here.
Where will you go? The house is in no
condition to move into, especially now.
I'll be all right.
No, I'm sorry.
I really can't let you leave.
Really, I want you to stay.
Okay.
- Okay.
- All right.
- Well, good night.
- Good night.
Oh, maybe just a little bit.
The music.
Oh, all right.
(HONKING)
Richie, no! Richie, no!
Jesus!
(POP SONG PLAYING)
- Do I put the chocolate in now?
- Put it in, I'll pour the milk.
What did your parents
say about Saturday?
The usual. Nothing.
They're afraid I'll go bulimic again.
Mine just "blah, blah, blah."
Purge and they won't say anything.
When will they realize we're adults,
responsible for ourselves?
So we had a party
at your grandmother's.
Would they prefer we go to Limelight?
Hello!
It's because they have no life.
They focus on bullshit.
So, what did yours do?
They took my Discover card
for three weeks.
- That's nothing.
- I know, it was my idea.
- Dicks.
- So hypocritical too.
When you think how my dad
makes a living.
Oh, jeez! What is this?
- Why don't you ring for the nurse?
- Never you mind!
That's their job.
I don't need them.
My daughter came
all the way from Seattle.
(TV BLARING)
Oh, Jesus!
(KNOCKING)
Hello?
- She rang for you.
- I did not.
Mrs. Soprano.
- Who are you?
- Richie.
Richie Aprile.
But I thought you were dead.
No, hon, that was my brother, Jackie.
Oh, I'm sorry.
How did he die, the poor baby?
He had cancer.
Me too.
Shut that curtain, will ya?
You know, I was in a private room.
My Johnny would roll over
in his grave if he saw this.
Oh, they wheel people in and out,
in and out. Oh, go on!
So isn't Parvati supposed to be here?
I don't know who that is.
Your daughter, Parvati. Janice.
Oh, yeah, please.
Don't start with that name business.
She did it to shame me.
(JANICE) You'll have to have your
tea without lemon.
Richie.
You see the beautiful flowers
he brought me?
Yeah, see? Your father
has friends with class.
Not like some people.
Ma, he's not one of Dad's friends.
He's my friend.
You mean, he's your boyfriend?
Remember? You used to yell at me...
...for beeping my horn
when I came to pick up Janice.
Pimps beep!
You know, someday somebody's gonna
wash out your mouth with soap, hon.
Oh, yeah, who? You?
Oh, I wish the Lord would take me.
Ohh, Ma, Statazeet.
- The man's come to visit you.
- Take it easy!
Is that how you talk to your mother?
You lay the same trip
on everybody who comes.
- Don't you have any shame?
- Shame?
Oh, I got plenty of shame.
Believe me.
You don't want to hear
what I'm ashamed of.
Go ahead, Ma. Shoot your best shot.
Never you mind.
Just remember what
we talked about last week.
Ma, I'm gonna go to
the cafeteria for some coffee.
- Are you coming back?
- Yes.
I bet you're very good to your mother.
She'll be better when I get her home.
Does that mean you're sticking around?
- If I don't, who'll take care of her?
- What about Tony?
Long story.
You haven't heard what happened?
Tony blames everyone else...
...for anything bad in life,
including Ma.
Tony? No.
Trust me. Nothing's ever his fault.
So, what's with the flowers,
Mr. Candy Stripe?
I couldn't visit her empty-handed.
Oh.
- You weren't at yoga.
- I'm very busy with my mother.
Too busy for dinner?
We weren't good together
20 years ago.
Why do you think
it's any different now?
Let's get to the point.
After getting to where I am, it'd be
ridiculous to decompensate now.
I am so not that person anymore.
It works both ways.
You know, I don't think I'd be
interested in the same Jan I knew.
- So, what, you've grown?
- Well, you tell me.
Did you ever think you'd
see Richie Aprile doing...
...Downward Facing Dog?
- Can she put more gook shit in here?
- It's not that much.
Soy milk, tofu, I hate all that shit!
(A.J.) Yeah, me too.
Shut up, you said you liked soy milk.
I lied. She was taking me
to the video store.
I'm happy Aunt Parvati's staying.
The one who thinks you're spoiled?
It wasn't my fault.
How many fucking times I gotta say it?
- Hey!
- Whoa!
Don't look like you're gonna cry.
You made your bed.
I need $15.
Excuse me?
A Cole Porter CD. It's for Madrigals.
We're doing three of his songs.
You took my card, remember?
Here.
What's your problem?
Nothing.
Thank you, by the way!
Janice should be home by now.
My sister was almost out
and you fall for her con?
She can't afford a motel.
How about she goes back
to where she was for 20 years...
...while I took care of our mother?
I thought we couldn't
mention Grandma in this house.
(CARMELA) Fine. I'm not gonna
argue with you, Tony.
You tell her to leave.
I won't. It's not Christian.
See? This shit works out.
She's a Buddhist.
(JANICE)
Hello!
We're in here, Par.
- Isn't it cruel to cut flowers?
- Richie gave them to Ma.
- They're beautiful.
- Aren't they?
Richie?
Richie Aprile?
He went to visit her.
You know he always loved Ma.
All right, I gotta go.
You better water them.
I think I hear them crying.
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
(WIZARD OF OZ MUSIC PLAYING)
(TRUCK HORN HONKING)
(CRASHING SOUNDS)
(FEMALE SOBBING)
Aw, Jesus Christ!
Peter, you're scaring your mother.
Leave me the fuck alone.
Hey, is that a way to talk?
Tony?
Can you pick up the BBC
on that thing, or what?
- No jokes please, Tony.
- (NURSE) Only family.
Let him stay.
How you doing, pal?
You said he wasn't
gonna bother me, Tony.
Jesus.
They said I might not walk.
(FEMALE) Come on, Mom. Let's go
downstairs for a little while.
You gonna let that animal
get away with this?
I'll let you talk to your "friend."
Don't listen to these fucking doctors.
When it comes to spinal injuries,
it's all a mystery to them.
Paulie's cousin got run over
by a forklift. Broke his back.
The guy's dancing
in tango competitions.
(SOBBING)
All right, here.
Here.
I can't do it.
Ah, ah...
Come on.
Thanks.
Thanks, Tony.
I might not be able to wipe
my own ass, you know that?
Your nose is as far
as I'm willing to go.
(LAUGHING)
Listen...
...Beans.
You 1000% sure it was
Richie Aprile driving?
A thousand percent? No.
A fucking million percent.
And let me tell you something.
He's lucky I ain't no rat fuck.
Because the law knows
that was no random hit-and-run.
Don't start talking foolish.
We're old school, right?
We wash our own dirty laundry.
Hey, am I right, Beans?
Yeah, yeah. Old school.
Okay, good.
So you here to see your ma?
I hear she's upstairs.
No, I came here to see you, you prick.
That's okay.
Go do what you gotta do.
- I told you to back off Beansie.
- I did. Then I put it in drive.
This is funny?
He might never walk again.
Did you know that? And for what?
He didn't duke you enough?
He didn't visit you in the can?
When did you visit anybody in the can?
When's the last time you gave a fuck
about anybody but yourself?
You remember one thing,
and listen good.
You want to talk this old school shit?
Here's a rule you might remember:
I'm the motherfucking fucking one
who calls the shots.
You pay me the respect I gave your
brother or we're gonna have a problem.
A bad one.
Now get the fuck out of here.
All right, Tony.
Yeah. All right.
- Hey.
- How you doing?
I'll open it, you change the locks.
Okay.
(COUGHING)
(ROCK SONG PLAYING)