The Smoke (2014): Season 1, Episode 5 - Episode #1.5 - full transcript
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Grace is my daughter.
She was adopted at birth.
Don't. Mal, please don't.
She was looking for you
and she... she just found me.
I've lost everything,
do you understand that?
We need to sort this out.
No-one gives a toss about
anything you have to say!
Oi!
Pauline Pynchon.
You can call me Pauline.
Rosa's baby died, Gog.
We killed a little girl.
Whatever happened, it's done.
Dennis will be safe with me.
All right?
I'm looking out for him.
'Asbo, persons reported,
talk to me...
'Asbo, Asbo, do you copy, over?'
Heavy smoke logging,
visibility zero.
'Hurry up, Asbo,
there's kids in there.'
Fire Service. Anybody there?
'Asbo, roof isn't gonna hold.
I'm pulling you out.'
No, Mal. Making the grab.
'Asbo!'
It's all right, I'm a firefighter!
"It's all right, I'm a firefighter!"
Save me! Save me!
Who's that?
"Who's that?"
Oi! What's happening? Get off me!
I said get off me!
Get off! Get off!
Asbo! Asbo, calm down! Asbo!
Get off me! Get off me!
Burn room! Shut it down!
Asbo, stop it!
We're only having a laugh! Asbo!
What the bloody hell's going on?
What's wrong with you! Eh?
You're taking the piss!
He's mental!
Leave it! I said leave it!
Idiot. You're a bloody idiot,
Dennis!
All of you,
back to the station, now!
Kev.
Kev. Kev!
Can we just... Can we actually talk
about this, please?
We talked. I've said everything
I wanted to say to you.
I made myself really clear,
didn't I?
Unless, of course, you want to
talk about a work issue.
This is a work issue.
He lost his shit!
In a training exercise!
The guy's a liability.
Probably having a bad day.
Yeah?
Well, I don't want to find
myself on a shout,
worrying about
if he's having a bad day or not.
Tell you what, I'm not
partnering him, not after that.
Me neither. It were like that, Zig,
just snapped.
Some people ain't got
no sense of humour.
I'm telling you,
that kid is fucked up.
Doesn't mean anything to you?
You're gonna
take his side against mine?
I'll deal with it.
How? Cos right now, I got a rookie
I can't trust
and a Watch Manager
who won't speak to me.
Maybe we just can't work
together any more.
Yeah, well, that would be great.
You get a transfer
and leave the rest of us to deal
with the Incredible Sulk out there.
All right?
Can you smell something?
Yeah, it's like BO and batshit?
I messed up, I know. If you're gonna
sack me, just do it. I get it,
I'm an idiot.
Dennis. No-one's getting sacked.
I just wanted to say that
I'm not sure if I'm going to be
sticking around.
This is cos of Mal, innit? He should
go! Why's it you who has to leave?
What I'm trying to say is,
if I'm not around,
it's important that you have a good
relationship with the Watch.
Build some bridges.
You're always shooting out
the door at the end of a shift,
never stick around for a drink.
Things have been a bit... hectic.
Guv, can I sleep in the dorm here
for a bit?
Not if you're not on duty.
You could always stay at mine
for a bit, if you like.
I'd love that, guv. I would.
All right, then.
Mate, I've been
thinking about what you said...
No, listen. This, you and me,
this is a work issue.
Mate, it just needs more time.
It'll work itself out.
No, Mal, no.
One of us needs to do it.
I'm asking for a transfer.
No, that's not what I want.
Mate...
It's not... It's not the right...
Mate, it's done.
Knees up, Mother Brown.
Cheers!
Been thinking, saw this TV show,
a big market for it,
middle-aged career women
left on the shelf,
need dates for functions
and that, all that potential...
Yeah, but mate, mate, mate,
all these career women, do you
really think they're interested in
a streak of piss from Stalybridge
who's still in love with his ex
and cries at John Lewis adverts?
Some of them. I expect.
Probably have to shag them, you
know. Bit demeaning, that, innit?
Not demeaning
when girls do it, is it?
I think it's generally accepted
it is, mate.
Oh, bloody hell!
Come here.
No, no, no.
You'll void the warranty.
Mince, I can do it!
Just let me fiddle
with your mounting flange.
It's easy as piss,
you just... Aaargh!
Sike!
Oh, yeah. You're the gigolo
that every woman dreams of.
"Screw Richard Gere, I want that
twat with the bum-fluff."
"Be still, my beating womb."
Oh, cheers.
Wondered where this had got to.
What? What is that? Oi... Oi, you
have played havoc with my appliance!
I won't forget this!
I was in a bit of a mood.
Billy pissed off?
He'll get over it.
I was the only one who saw it.
You spoken to her?
She had a kid, Zig.
Ages ago, had it adopted.
Never told me.
Hi. It's Ziggy.
Yeah, I know. Your name came up.
Oh, right. Technology, eh?
Look, erm, I think
you should come down and see Kev.
He's a bit wobbly.
He doesn't want to see me.
No, I'm not... Well, I like you...
Well, I never not liked you...
Well, no, I know it must've been
tough for you...
Oh, do you know that?
Cos last time I checked, all you
had for me were filthy looks.
Course he's wobbly, it's the
anniversary of the fire next week,
but seeing as I've rung him every day and
he won't pick up, I dunno what I can do.
Weirdest thing I've found
down a unit like this. Guess.
Human hand. Nah.
Human foot. Nah.
Weirder than a human foot?
Yep.
Go on.
A kitten's head. Weirder, innit?
Why is that?
I dunno, just is, somehow.
Aaarghh!
Already done that one, mate.
So you, er...
you trained as a plumber?
It's what I did before
I got into the service.
Well, if you ever want
any freelance work,
I've got more work
than I can handle.
That's just our USP.
We get a lot of work from racists,
but they're willing to pay a premium
rate for an English pair of hands.
But I'm half-Irish.
Well. Don't have to tell the clients
though, do you?
'Mobilise. Mobilise. Mobilise.
Zero-four-papa-one, mobilise.'
'Zero-four-papa-one,
this is Control.
'Emergency reported
at Limehouse Pumping Station -
'unaccompanied children on site,
over.'
Because it's embarrassing, Steve.
Because she's my grandmother.
Hiya, Trish Tooley?
I'm here to see Mr Caldwell.
It's my first day.
OK. Yes, take a seat, please.
Did you call 999?
The wasp stung him.
Snip! Get them away!
Mince, Zig, first aid over here.
HQ, this is zero-four-papa-one.
Come on, girls, he's going to be OK.
Request presence of police
Five unaccompanied minors, with one
adult, anaphylactic shock, over.
We can't find Felisha.
Who's Felisha?
She's my second best friend.
She started screaming when Mr Feeney
fell over, she ran in there.
Mile End! Person reported,
she went in there.
Al, you go in with Dennis!
No. No way. Not after this morning.
Jesus! OK, Mal, will you
partner Dennis, please?
No problem, guv. Looking for a girl,
name of Felisha! Copy that.
Guv, shall I call the school
and get them picked up?
Felisha!
Felisha!
Felisha!
I'm sorry. About this morning.
Don't talk to me, Asbo.
Focus on the job.
Felisha!
Trish. I'm afraid there's been
a bit of a mix-up.
A clerical error. I thought
that you'd been notified.
How do you mean, mix-up?
Well, in light in your previous
conviction, the Board feels...
The conviction's spent, I was...
In the interview,
I was very open about that.
Yes. We work with
vulnerable young people.
And you do have
a history of violence.
History? I don't have a history.
It was one incident, and I'm not...
No, I understand, but morally,
the Board don't share my...
Morally? Jesus! Anyway,
it's a development position.
I'll be fundraising
at the end of a phone,
not taking kids on a camping trip.
Even so.
You offered me the job.
My hands are tied.
I'm sorry.
No, it's... I understand.
I'm Nieve. I'm 10.
I'm Kev. I'm 37.
You want to wait with your friends,
sweetheart?
Erm... if you need paper, look,
I've got loads.
No, we're good for paper, thanks.
Go and sit down.
I know we should have
called the police,
but we didn't want to
get into trouble.
You're not getting in any trouble,
sweetheart. Don't worry.
You'll be fine,
you did the right thing.
His face went all puffed up.
I know, love. Er... sit still.
All right? Don't move.
Felisha!
Can you hear that?
Can't hear nothing.
Here, look. There's an opening.
We're not looking for
Anne fucking Frank, Asbo,
what's she gonna be
doing down there?
Asbo!
Felisha!
Felisha!
Don't touch me!
Do not fucking touch me!
I have had it up to here
with you today, swear to God.
All right, Jessie Ennis,
you got me.
Felisha's afraid of the dark,
Gurpreet's afraid of the dark,
I'm a bit sometimes, but it's all
right if Dad leaves the door open.
Like, not a lot, but a bit.
There's Felisha!
Felisha! Felisha! Gaffer!
Mal, we've got the kid, come out.
Sit still! I have to change your
hair, it's really hard to draw.
Sorry.
Useless piece of shit.
Kev, I don't think you can hear me,
I didn't catch that last bit.
Kev? Kev?
Over there. Used to be a factory,
did you know that?
No? My great-great-nan
used to work there.
She was about your age, used to work
ten hours a day making matches.
Yeah, we did a project on it.
They all got, like, this disease
and it made their faces fall off.
Did your nan's face fall off?
Don't think so. She had ten babies
after that, so probably not.
I'm not having babies.
Nah? Me neither.
Yeah, no, cos you have to take them,
like, everywhere,
and what if you wanted
to go bowling?
Yeah. There is that.
Felisha!
Kev?
Kev?
Kev!
Shit!
What the fuck?
Kev? Kev?
Kev... We're trapped down here!
Al, send a firefighter
emergency message to Control.
Ziggy,
grab the thermal imaging camera.
Hey, Snip, get them kids well away!
Right, Mince, with me.
Guv.
Stop following me! Just stay there!
Right, stay close to the edges.
Don't know how stable it
is down here.
All right, Guv.
Dennis! Mal!
Can you hear that?
Yeah.
Guv. I can smell something.
Yeah. Me too.
Just get the camera on it, quick!
Nothing. They must be clear.
What can I smell?
Gas. Oh, Christ, Asbo.
Move! Move, Asbo!
Move! Move!
Aargh! "Every day above ground
is a good day."
Oh, you know that one?
Yeah, Scarface, innit?
Hand us that down.
There you go, guv.
Still nothing.
Must be far enough away now, right?
You ever been up close to a gas
explosion before? No!
Oh, no! Oh, no, shit!
That looks deep!
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
There's nothing else we can do.
Asbo, you could drown down there.
Yeah? Yeah. Go on, then. Go ahead.
You should be the one leaving,
not him. Where d'you get off?
It was a joke, just shut up.
A joke's a joke until it ain't
funny - it's a bit rich when
you're the one no-one gives
two shits about.
Just save us all some time, just
pack it all in, go and get a job
flipping burgers or something.
Cos I don't know what the fuck you
are, but you're not a firefighter,
I'll tell you that for nothing!
We have to get out of here, guv!
Not yet. Not yet.
What? What? What are you doing?
Guv! Now!
Listen to me, we have to go!
Come on, out! Get out!
No! No! Dennis! We're coming!
Come on! We're coming!
Pull him out! Pull him out, now! GO!
Get out of my way! No!
What are you playing at?
Guv, it's too dangerous!
What are you talking about? What are
you...? They're still in there!
No! There's nothing you can do.
No! I can't let you go
back in there.
All right?
It'll be all right, love.
No. No, I don't think it will.
Now, what makes you say that?
Well, for a start,
I'm talking to you.
Get off me! Get off me!
I can do it by myself!
Kev, can you hear me? Kev?
I can lift you up.
Maybe we can reach the hole.
It's too high.
We'll never get up there!
We've got to do something.
All right. Let's do some
synchronised swimming, shall we?
That what you want?
What is your problem?
My problem is you.
Cos I'm stuck in here with
a Churchill Estate nutjob.
Oh, here we go.
Where was you born, then?
What's that got to do with anything,
where I live?
You've had it in for me
from day one.
Oh, bollocks.
First day, I'm there ten minutes
before you start calling me Asbo!
Everyone gets a nickname.
Yeah, you know what
the other watches call Guv?
Ken. Not fucking funny, is it?
Specially when Barbie's sleeping
with his best mate.
Get off me!
Get off me! Get off me!
Get off me! Get off me!
Get off!
Get off!
'Mal?'
Kev? Kev? Do you read me?
Kev?
We're about... I think we're
about half a mile north-east of you,
we're trapped in some
sort of overflow container.
There's no way out.
We're trapped in here.
Kev? Kev? Kev! Fuck!
I've made contact,
they're all right!
OK, listen up, Mile End.
They're headed north-east,
some sort of overflow tank.
I'm going to dive down.
See if I can find a way out.
Asbo, don't be an idiot.
Fuck!
Guv, Nieve asked me
to give you this.
Found a manhole cover,
about ten metres this way.
Kev, Kev,
think Asbo's found a way out.
It's a manhole cover, over.
I'd take your tunic off.
Seriously, you touch me again,
I will knock your pikey teeth out.
It's this way.
Oh, God!
Should be just under a building!
I think it's this one!
Mal? Mal?
Here!
Is that you? They're here!
Oh, thank God. Are you all right?
Bloody hell!
I thought you was...
You all right?
Here, give us a blanket!
Asbo saved my life. Yeah?
Were you scared? I'm proud of you,
Asbo. Good boy. Good boy.
Well done, mate.
What, I don't even get a blanket?
Hello? I don't even get a blanket?
Fucking children! How long
is this going to go on for, eh?
Number of times I've saved you lot.
Little Al, you faint at the sight
of Susan Boyle opening
a supermarket, who drags you out?
I had concussion!
Concussion? You was born concussed,
it's a wonder you can get your
fucking trousers on in the morning.
And Mrs Doubtfire over there...
Come on, that's enough.
No, don't you... You're the worst,
Mince. When your kitchen's flooded,
who's the mug schlepping over
to Gants Hill with the stirrup pump, eh?
Eh?! I have been your mate,
all of yous.
What, now you can't even talk to me?
Well, I'll tell you what. The night
of that fire, it weren't you lot,
peeling his skin
off the bloody concrete, was it?
Was it?
Asbo, you feel all warm
and cosy now,
cos you got your pat
on the head?
Don't get too comfy.
Cos this lot are a pack of
two-faced... I love you!
I'd never take nothing from you!
What d'you think, "Oh, Kev ain't
had had enough of a fucking
"kicking lately, I'll help him out"?
Day one, mate, I have never been
nothing but in your corner,
in your fucking corner! Do you know
how many times this year...
that's all I've had in my head,
what I've got left, I've got him
and I've got her.
What have I got now, eh?!
What have I got?!
Let's go. Come on.
It's all right, Den. Don't...
Come on, nice hot shower and a
Cuppa Soup, that's what you need.
Mate, Kaz is out tonight.
Her mum fell off a bus
and has broken her hip.
So if we put the clocks forward,
get the kids in bed by nine,
and have ourselves a little...
Call of Duty marathon!
Asbo, you fancy it, mate?
Get in!
Do you two ever leave the house?
No. I've got four kids, Zig.
My best mate lives in my spare room.
I've just got me hands
on the Breaking Bad boxset
and my wife looks
like Jennifer Beals.
She really doesn't, mate.
Why would I leave the house?
Did you do it? Yeah.
'Hi.'
Hiya, it's Trish.
I'm sorry to ring...
No, s'fine. You all right?
'I fuck everything up, Zig.'
I get in these situations, you know
what I mean, when you're
having grief already, and then
you make everything worse somehow.
Slow down. What happened?
I looked like such a knob. I walked
in there in a stupid suit all
full of myself and then they said
there'd been a mistake, there was
no job, and I just,
I just went to pieces.
'What did you do when they told you,
you just left?'
Yeah.
'Yeah, well, that was bloody stupid,
wasn't it?
'You wanna hold your ground -
that's your job.'
If you let people take things
from you, they'll take them.
I never let anybody take anything
from me, and if anybody tried,
I'd come at them, and I'd come at
them strong, you know what I mean?
Yeah.
How's your kids, Zig?
Yeah. Rob's fine,
but Little Al's a pain in the arse.
Asbo, you sexy beast!
I'm, er, I'm really sorry
about this morning, I just...
Got a lot on my mind.
Don't worry about it, mate.
Why don't you ever make cake, Mince?
I dunno, Snip, why don't you ever
eat with your mouth shut?
Well, probably shouldn't,
but there we go.
No carbs before Marbs, eh, Biggles?
Cake!
Nice one, Asbo.
I just wanted to say,
I know some of you have had
questions about
someone's background,
their personal hygiene... but I don't
want to talk about Ziggy right now.
Nah, seriously, it's really
hard to come into a group of people
who've worked
together as long as we have,
but he's one of our family now.
When I say that,
I mean like, one of them
weird cousins you only
see at funerals, but all the same.
Oh, one more thing. It's fucking
embarrassing how easily you lot
are won over by Mr Kipling,
so have a think about that, yeah?
Asbo.
Call for you in the office.
OK, so I cleared it with the pub,
and Sukie's gonna get
there by seven. Who's gonna get him
down there? What?
Hello?
Hello?
Who is this?
Gog? That you? This ain't funny.
Mr Caldwell?
Trish, hi. Look, I'm sorry, but I've
got a board meeting starting...
No, it won't take a minute.
I had a baby, a long time ago, and
she was born with cerebral palsy.
And that was... It was...
It was maybe my fault and so,
well, I had her adopted.
And that is something that I...
that I regret,
and that I live with, so...
so, I have been waiting
ten years for the chance to do
something that even starts to make
up for that. And I won't mess it up.
I'm sure you wouldn't. But...
I can get money out of people.
I'm good at that.
I know you won't believe me,
but I really fought for your corner.
I don't know what else
I can say to them.
Maybe if... Would you be willing to
come in and talk to them yourself?
Yeah?
Come on, come on. All right.
You lot think I don't know what's
going on? We're in the pub!
Who is...
Kiss him! Kiss him!
Kiss him! Kiss him!
Oh!
Ziggy, you got such soft lips.
No! No!
Oh, my God! Get me out of here!
Mal! This is a nice surprise.
You want to take a seat?
Coffee?
Fancy something stronger?
I, er...
I'm trying to lay off a bit
at the moment, actually.
Let Mr Liver have a little holiday.
I want you to put a transfer request
in for me.
Really? You've been there,
what, ten years?
12. I need a change.
Yeah, well, I'll see what I can do.
Always rookies who want
to join your station,
but you might have to
compromise on the location.
I don't mind. Anywhere.
Cheers, Nick, I appreciate it.
Is Kev all right?
Don't ask me that.
Don't you dare ask me that.
Mal, come on, I'm just...
Everyone knows that you screwed him
over that night.
See, no-one gives a toss
if you make a mistake. It's human,
making a mistake.
But you lied about it, Nick.
He's a good man.
You're a coward.
At least have the decency not
to pretend you give a shit now.
What's been bothering you, mate,
money trouble?
Nah, it's just...
My mum got attacked, in the flat.
Shit. Is she all right?
Yeah, yeah.
I sort of took care of it.
Fair play. So what's the problem?
Well, he's sort of a mate.
Doesn't matter.
Say Little Al here laid a finger
on my mother, I'd be like this -
"Step outside". Like that!
I'd never fight you, Snip.
Doesn't matter.
You'd have to step outside,
it's the rules of engagement.
Think I did the right thing then?
Yeah. Hundred percent, mate.
Hundred fucking percent.
I'm gonna boost. Asboid?
Yeah. I just got to nip
back to the station.
Meet you out front? Yeah.
Hello, Chubs.
What you doing here?
Free country.
Left Emily on her own,
where you been?!
Having a mooch. Getting stitches.
You know, the usual.
I just thought I'd let you know
that it's over for you now.
See, I'm coming for you, Chubs.
Whatever you think you've got here,
that's a dream now.
And I'm a fucking alarm clock.
Hi.
'You picked up!'
I did. How was the first day?
'You remembered.'
'Spent enough time watching you
try on that bloody suit. So?'
Yeah, no, it were fine.
Er, Ziggy rung us.
She's worried about you.
Ziggy's got a sticky beak.
Where are you?
I'm... I'm outside my...
Grace's house.
Her mum wants us to tell her
tonight, explain it to her.
She's only ten, I dunno how she'll
take it, having that dropped on her.
You know when you...
when you had her?
Was, was he there,
holding your hand, all that?
No. He were in the pub.
He were in the pub a lot.
I would've been there.
I know you would.
Jesus, Kev, I've gotta go in there
in a minute, I can't be...
You'll be fine.
She's lucky, got two mums
and one of them's you.
I always had it in my head
you'd be here for this bit.
She'd have such a crush on you,
you know.
Yeah, I've been pretty popular
with little girls lately.
Listen, next week, the anniversary,
will you ring us if you need to?
Yeah. All right, thanks for ringing.
Because as a taxpayer,
Trish, I'm asking -
treating someone like that,
how does that help recidivism?
When she comes over, we'll sit her
down, get it over with.
Look out, Sally Gunnell's here.
Hi, Grace.
Yeah, sit.
We had the Paralympic Scouts
at school last week,
she ran her best time yet,
didn't you?
But... she's only ten.
Oh, they plan ahead.
2020, they said.
Anyway, I told them,
we'll have to see how it fits in
with her Mandarin classes.
Can I have a biscuit?
No, Froggie, dinner soon.
S'for you. Wow, what is it?
Ah. Thank you, sweetheart.
It's beautiful.
Right, Grace,
come and sit between Trish and Mum.
Now, Grace, you know I'm your mum,
but I that didn't give birth to you?
Well, the reason
I wanted you to meet Trish
is because she's your birth mum.
And she wants to get to know you.
Will I still live here?
Yes, Froggie, nothing's going
to change, nothing at all.
Do you want to show her?
That's you.
Dennis?
Gog. I just saw him
and he's... Fuck.
Fuck. He's after me, guv,
and I dunno... I can't...
All right, all right, calm down, you
can kip with me, I told you that.
You want him knowing where you live,
do you?!
'If he wants to find me,
he can find me.'
'He's a boy. You remember that.'
Whatever he seems like,
he's a stupid, scared little boy.
And I can handle him.
I'm next door if you want me.
Thanks, guv.
---
Grace is my daughter.
She was adopted at birth.
Don't. Mal, please don't.
She was looking for you
and she... she just found me.
I've lost everything,
do you understand that?
We need to sort this out.
No-one gives a toss about
anything you have to say!
Oi!
Pauline Pynchon.
You can call me Pauline.
Rosa's baby died, Gog.
We killed a little girl.
Whatever happened, it's done.
Dennis will be safe with me.
All right?
I'm looking out for him.
'Asbo, persons reported,
talk to me...
'Asbo, Asbo, do you copy, over?'
Heavy smoke logging,
visibility zero.
'Hurry up, Asbo,
there's kids in there.'
Fire Service. Anybody there?
'Asbo, roof isn't gonna hold.
I'm pulling you out.'
No, Mal. Making the grab.
'Asbo!'
It's all right, I'm a firefighter!
"It's all right, I'm a firefighter!"
Save me! Save me!
Who's that?
"Who's that?"
Oi! What's happening? Get off me!
I said get off me!
Get off! Get off!
Asbo! Asbo, calm down! Asbo!
Get off me! Get off me!
Burn room! Shut it down!
Asbo, stop it!
We're only having a laugh! Asbo!
What the bloody hell's going on?
What's wrong with you! Eh?
You're taking the piss!
He's mental!
Leave it! I said leave it!
Idiot. You're a bloody idiot,
Dennis!
All of you,
back to the station, now!
Kev.
Kev. Kev!
Can we just... Can we actually talk
about this, please?
We talked. I've said everything
I wanted to say to you.
I made myself really clear,
didn't I?
Unless, of course, you want to
talk about a work issue.
This is a work issue.
He lost his shit!
In a training exercise!
The guy's a liability.
Probably having a bad day.
Yeah?
Well, I don't want to find
myself on a shout,
worrying about
if he's having a bad day or not.
Tell you what, I'm not
partnering him, not after that.
Me neither. It were like that, Zig,
just snapped.
Some people ain't got
no sense of humour.
I'm telling you,
that kid is fucked up.
Doesn't mean anything to you?
You're gonna
take his side against mine?
I'll deal with it.
How? Cos right now, I got a rookie
I can't trust
and a Watch Manager
who won't speak to me.
Maybe we just can't work
together any more.
Yeah, well, that would be great.
You get a transfer
and leave the rest of us to deal
with the Incredible Sulk out there.
All right?
Can you smell something?
Yeah, it's like BO and batshit?
I messed up, I know. If you're gonna
sack me, just do it. I get it,
I'm an idiot.
Dennis. No-one's getting sacked.
I just wanted to say that
I'm not sure if I'm going to be
sticking around.
This is cos of Mal, innit? He should
go! Why's it you who has to leave?
What I'm trying to say is,
if I'm not around,
it's important that you have a good
relationship with the Watch.
Build some bridges.
You're always shooting out
the door at the end of a shift,
never stick around for a drink.
Things have been a bit... hectic.
Guv, can I sleep in the dorm here
for a bit?
Not if you're not on duty.
You could always stay at mine
for a bit, if you like.
I'd love that, guv. I would.
All right, then.
Mate, I've been
thinking about what you said...
No, listen. This, you and me,
this is a work issue.
Mate, it just needs more time.
It'll work itself out.
No, Mal, no.
One of us needs to do it.
I'm asking for a transfer.
No, that's not what I want.
Mate...
It's not... It's not the right...
Mate, it's done.
Knees up, Mother Brown.
Cheers!
Been thinking, saw this TV show,
a big market for it,
middle-aged career women
left on the shelf,
need dates for functions
and that, all that potential...
Yeah, but mate, mate, mate,
all these career women, do you
really think they're interested in
a streak of piss from Stalybridge
who's still in love with his ex
and cries at John Lewis adverts?
Some of them. I expect.
Probably have to shag them, you
know. Bit demeaning, that, innit?
Not demeaning
when girls do it, is it?
I think it's generally accepted
it is, mate.
Oh, bloody hell!
Come here.
No, no, no.
You'll void the warranty.
Mince, I can do it!
Just let me fiddle
with your mounting flange.
It's easy as piss,
you just... Aaargh!
Sike!
Oh, yeah. You're the gigolo
that every woman dreams of.
"Screw Richard Gere, I want that
twat with the bum-fluff."
"Be still, my beating womb."
Oh, cheers.
Wondered where this had got to.
What? What is that? Oi... Oi, you
have played havoc with my appliance!
I won't forget this!
I was in a bit of a mood.
Billy pissed off?
He'll get over it.
I was the only one who saw it.
You spoken to her?
She had a kid, Zig.
Ages ago, had it adopted.
Never told me.
Hi. It's Ziggy.
Yeah, I know. Your name came up.
Oh, right. Technology, eh?
Look, erm, I think
you should come down and see Kev.
He's a bit wobbly.
He doesn't want to see me.
No, I'm not... Well, I like you...
Well, I never not liked you...
Well, no, I know it must've been
tough for you...
Oh, do you know that?
Cos last time I checked, all you
had for me were filthy looks.
Course he's wobbly, it's the
anniversary of the fire next week,
but seeing as I've rung him every day and
he won't pick up, I dunno what I can do.
Weirdest thing I've found
down a unit like this. Guess.
Human hand. Nah.
Human foot. Nah.
Weirder than a human foot?
Yep.
Go on.
A kitten's head. Weirder, innit?
Why is that?
I dunno, just is, somehow.
Aaarghh!
Already done that one, mate.
So you, er...
you trained as a plumber?
It's what I did before
I got into the service.
Well, if you ever want
any freelance work,
I've got more work
than I can handle.
That's just our USP.
We get a lot of work from racists,
but they're willing to pay a premium
rate for an English pair of hands.
But I'm half-Irish.
Well. Don't have to tell the clients
though, do you?
'Mobilise. Mobilise. Mobilise.
Zero-four-papa-one, mobilise.'
'Zero-four-papa-one,
this is Control.
'Emergency reported
at Limehouse Pumping Station -
'unaccompanied children on site,
over.'
Because it's embarrassing, Steve.
Because she's my grandmother.
Hiya, Trish Tooley?
I'm here to see Mr Caldwell.
It's my first day.
OK. Yes, take a seat, please.
Did you call 999?
The wasp stung him.
Snip! Get them away!
Mince, Zig, first aid over here.
HQ, this is zero-four-papa-one.
Come on, girls, he's going to be OK.
Request presence of police
Five unaccompanied minors, with one
adult, anaphylactic shock, over.
We can't find Felisha.
Who's Felisha?
She's my second best friend.
She started screaming when Mr Feeney
fell over, she ran in there.
Mile End! Person reported,
she went in there.
Al, you go in with Dennis!
No. No way. Not after this morning.
Jesus! OK, Mal, will you
partner Dennis, please?
No problem, guv. Looking for a girl,
name of Felisha! Copy that.
Guv, shall I call the school
and get them picked up?
Felisha!
Felisha!
Felisha!
I'm sorry. About this morning.
Don't talk to me, Asbo.
Focus on the job.
Felisha!
Trish. I'm afraid there's been
a bit of a mix-up.
A clerical error. I thought
that you'd been notified.
How do you mean, mix-up?
Well, in light in your previous
conviction, the Board feels...
The conviction's spent, I was...
In the interview,
I was very open about that.
Yes. We work with
vulnerable young people.
And you do have
a history of violence.
History? I don't have a history.
It was one incident, and I'm not...
No, I understand, but morally,
the Board don't share my...
Morally? Jesus! Anyway,
it's a development position.
I'll be fundraising
at the end of a phone,
not taking kids on a camping trip.
Even so.
You offered me the job.
My hands are tied.
I'm sorry.
No, it's... I understand.
I'm Nieve. I'm 10.
I'm Kev. I'm 37.
You want to wait with your friends,
sweetheart?
Erm... if you need paper, look,
I've got loads.
No, we're good for paper, thanks.
Go and sit down.
I know we should have
called the police,
but we didn't want to
get into trouble.
You're not getting in any trouble,
sweetheart. Don't worry.
You'll be fine,
you did the right thing.
His face went all puffed up.
I know, love. Er... sit still.
All right? Don't move.
Felisha!
Can you hear that?
Can't hear nothing.
Here, look. There's an opening.
We're not looking for
Anne fucking Frank, Asbo,
what's she gonna be
doing down there?
Asbo!
Felisha!
Felisha!
Don't touch me!
Do not fucking touch me!
I have had it up to here
with you today, swear to God.
All right, Jessie Ennis,
you got me.
Felisha's afraid of the dark,
Gurpreet's afraid of the dark,
I'm a bit sometimes, but it's all
right if Dad leaves the door open.
Like, not a lot, but a bit.
There's Felisha!
Felisha! Felisha! Gaffer!
Mal, we've got the kid, come out.
Sit still! I have to change your
hair, it's really hard to draw.
Sorry.
Useless piece of shit.
Kev, I don't think you can hear me,
I didn't catch that last bit.
Kev? Kev?
Over there. Used to be a factory,
did you know that?
No? My great-great-nan
used to work there.
She was about your age, used to work
ten hours a day making matches.
Yeah, we did a project on it.
They all got, like, this disease
and it made their faces fall off.
Did your nan's face fall off?
Don't think so. She had ten babies
after that, so probably not.
I'm not having babies.
Nah? Me neither.
Yeah, no, cos you have to take them,
like, everywhere,
and what if you wanted
to go bowling?
Yeah. There is that.
Felisha!
Kev?
Kev?
Kev!
Shit!
What the fuck?
Kev? Kev?
Kev... We're trapped down here!
Al, send a firefighter
emergency message to Control.
Ziggy,
grab the thermal imaging camera.
Hey, Snip, get them kids well away!
Right, Mince, with me.
Guv.
Stop following me! Just stay there!
Right, stay close to the edges.
Don't know how stable it
is down here.
All right, Guv.
Dennis! Mal!
Can you hear that?
Yeah.
Guv. I can smell something.
Yeah. Me too.
Just get the camera on it, quick!
Nothing. They must be clear.
What can I smell?
Gas. Oh, Christ, Asbo.
Move! Move, Asbo!
Move! Move!
Aargh! "Every day above ground
is a good day."
Oh, you know that one?
Yeah, Scarface, innit?
Hand us that down.
There you go, guv.
Still nothing.
Must be far enough away now, right?
You ever been up close to a gas
explosion before? No!
Oh, no! Oh, no, shit!
That looks deep!
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
There's nothing else we can do.
Asbo, you could drown down there.
Yeah? Yeah. Go on, then. Go ahead.
You should be the one leaving,
not him. Where d'you get off?
It was a joke, just shut up.
A joke's a joke until it ain't
funny - it's a bit rich when
you're the one no-one gives
two shits about.
Just save us all some time, just
pack it all in, go and get a job
flipping burgers or something.
Cos I don't know what the fuck you
are, but you're not a firefighter,
I'll tell you that for nothing!
We have to get out of here, guv!
Not yet. Not yet.
What? What? What are you doing?
Guv! Now!
Listen to me, we have to go!
Come on, out! Get out!
No! No! Dennis! We're coming!
Come on! We're coming!
Pull him out! Pull him out, now! GO!
Get out of my way! No!
What are you playing at?
Guv, it's too dangerous!
What are you talking about? What are
you...? They're still in there!
No! There's nothing you can do.
No! I can't let you go
back in there.
All right?
It'll be all right, love.
No. No, I don't think it will.
Now, what makes you say that?
Well, for a start,
I'm talking to you.
Get off me! Get off me!
I can do it by myself!
Kev, can you hear me? Kev?
I can lift you up.
Maybe we can reach the hole.
It's too high.
We'll never get up there!
We've got to do something.
All right. Let's do some
synchronised swimming, shall we?
That what you want?
What is your problem?
My problem is you.
Cos I'm stuck in here with
a Churchill Estate nutjob.
Oh, here we go.
Where was you born, then?
What's that got to do with anything,
where I live?
You've had it in for me
from day one.
Oh, bollocks.
First day, I'm there ten minutes
before you start calling me Asbo!
Everyone gets a nickname.
Yeah, you know what
the other watches call Guv?
Ken. Not fucking funny, is it?
Specially when Barbie's sleeping
with his best mate.
Get off me!
Get off me! Get off me!
Get off me! Get off me!
Get off!
Get off!
'Mal?'
Kev? Kev? Do you read me?
Kev?
We're about... I think we're
about half a mile north-east of you,
we're trapped in some
sort of overflow container.
There's no way out.
We're trapped in here.
Kev? Kev? Kev! Fuck!
I've made contact,
they're all right!
OK, listen up, Mile End.
They're headed north-east,
some sort of overflow tank.
I'm going to dive down.
See if I can find a way out.
Asbo, don't be an idiot.
Fuck!
Guv, Nieve asked me
to give you this.
Found a manhole cover,
about ten metres this way.
Kev, Kev,
think Asbo's found a way out.
It's a manhole cover, over.
I'd take your tunic off.
Seriously, you touch me again,
I will knock your pikey teeth out.
It's this way.
Oh, God!
Should be just under a building!
I think it's this one!
Mal? Mal?
Here!
Is that you? They're here!
Oh, thank God. Are you all right?
Bloody hell!
I thought you was...
You all right?
Here, give us a blanket!
Asbo saved my life. Yeah?
Were you scared? I'm proud of you,
Asbo. Good boy. Good boy.
Well done, mate.
What, I don't even get a blanket?
Hello? I don't even get a blanket?
Fucking children! How long
is this going to go on for, eh?
Number of times I've saved you lot.
Little Al, you faint at the sight
of Susan Boyle opening
a supermarket, who drags you out?
I had concussion!
Concussion? You was born concussed,
it's a wonder you can get your
fucking trousers on in the morning.
And Mrs Doubtfire over there...
Come on, that's enough.
No, don't you... You're the worst,
Mince. When your kitchen's flooded,
who's the mug schlepping over
to Gants Hill with the stirrup pump, eh?
Eh?! I have been your mate,
all of yous.
What, now you can't even talk to me?
Well, I'll tell you what. The night
of that fire, it weren't you lot,
peeling his skin
off the bloody concrete, was it?
Was it?
Asbo, you feel all warm
and cosy now,
cos you got your pat
on the head?
Don't get too comfy.
Cos this lot are a pack of
two-faced... I love you!
I'd never take nothing from you!
What d'you think, "Oh, Kev ain't
had had enough of a fucking
"kicking lately, I'll help him out"?
Day one, mate, I have never been
nothing but in your corner,
in your fucking corner! Do you know
how many times this year...
that's all I've had in my head,
what I've got left, I've got him
and I've got her.
What have I got now, eh?!
What have I got?!
Let's go. Come on.
It's all right, Den. Don't...
Come on, nice hot shower and a
Cuppa Soup, that's what you need.
Mate, Kaz is out tonight.
Her mum fell off a bus
and has broken her hip.
So if we put the clocks forward,
get the kids in bed by nine,
and have ourselves a little...
Call of Duty marathon!
Asbo, you fancy it, mate?
Get in!
Do you two ever leave the house?
No. I've got four kids, Zig.
My best mate lives in my spare room.
I've just got me hands
on the Breaking Bad boxset
and my wife looks
like Jennifer Beals.
She really doesn't, mate.
Why would I leave the house?
Did you do it? Yeah.
'Hi.'
Hiya, it's Trish.
I'm sorry to ring...
No, s'fine. You all right?
'I fuck everything up, Zig.'
I get in these situations, you know
what I mean, when you're
having grief already, and then
you make everything worse somehow.
Slow down. What happened?
I looked like such a knob. I walked
in there in a stupid suit all
full of myself and then they said
there'd been a mistake, there was
no job, and I just,
I just went to pieces.
'What did you do when they told you,
you just left?'
Yeah.
'Yeah, well, that was bloody stupid,
wasn't it?
'You wanna hold your ground -
that's your job.'
If you let people take things
from you, they'll take them.
I never let anybody take anything
from me, and if anybody tried,
I'd come at them, and I'd come at
them strong, you know what I mean?
Yeah.
How's your kids, Zig?
Yeah. Rob's fine,
but Little Al's a pain in the arse.
Asbo, you sexy beast!
I'm, er, I'm really sorry
about this morning, I just...
Got a lot on my mind.
Don't worry about it, mate.
Why don't you ever make cake, Mince?
I dunno, Snip, why don't you ever
eat with your mouth shut?
Well, probably shouldn't,
but there we go.
No carbs before Marbs, eh, Biggles?
Cake!
Nice one, Asbo.
I just wanted to say,
I know some of you have had
questions about
someone's background,
their personal hygiene... but I don't
want to talk about Ziggy right now.
Nah, seriously, it's really
hard to come into a group of people
who've worked
together as long as we have,
but he's one of our family now.
When I say that,
I mean like, one of them
weird cousins you only
see at funerals, but all the same.
Oh, one more thing. It's fucking
embarrassing how easily you lot
are won over by Mr Kipling,
so have a think about that, yeah?
Asbo.
Call for you in the office.
OK, so I cleared it with the pub,
and Sukie's gonna get
there by seven. Who's gonna get him
down there? What?
Hello?
Hello?
Who is this?
Gog? That you? This ain't funny.
Mr Caldwell?
Trish, hi. Look, I'm sorry, but I've
got a board meeting starting...
No, it won't take a minute.
I had a baby, a long time ago, and
she was born with cerebral palsy.
And that was... It was...
It was maybe my fault and so,
well, I had her adopted.
And that is something that I...
that I regret,
and that I live with, so...
so, I have been waiting
ten years for the chance to do
something that even starts to make
up for that. And I won't mess it up.
I'm sure you wouldn't. But...
I can get money out of people.
I'm good at that.
I know you won't believe me,
but I really fought for your corner.
I don't know what else
I can say to them.
Maybe if... Would you be willing to
come in and talk to them yourself?
Yeah?
Come on, come on. All right.
You lot think I don't know what's
going on? We're in the pub!
Who is...
Kiss him! Kiss him!
Kiss him! Kiss him!
Oh!
Ziggy, you got such soft lips.
No! No!
Oh, my God! Get me out of here!
Mal! This is a nice surprise.
You want to take a seat?
Coffee?
Fancy something stronger?
I, er...
I'm trying to lay off a bit
at the moment, actually.
Let Mr Liver have a little holiday.
I want you to put a transfer request
in for me.
Really? You've been there,
what, ten years?
12. I need a change.
Yeah, well, I'll see what I can do.
Always rookies who want
to join your station,
but you might have to
compromise on the location.
I don't mind. Anywhere.
Cheers, Nick, I appreciate it.
Is Kev all right?
Don't ask me that.
Don't you dare ask me that.
Mal, come on, I'm just...
Everyone knows that you screwed him
over that night.
See, no-one gives a toss
if you make a mistake. It's human,
making a mistake.
But you lied about it, Nick.
He's a good man.
You're a coward.
At least have the decency not
to pretend you give a shit now.
What's been bothering you, mate,
money trouble?
Nah, it's just...
My mum got attacked, in the flat.
Shit. Is she all right?
Yeah, yeah.
I sort of took care of it.
Fair play. So what's the problem?
Well, he's sort of a mate.
Doesn't matter.
Say Little Al here laid a finger
on my mother, I'd be like this -
"Step outside". Like that!
I'd never fight you, Snip.
Doesn't matter.
You'd have to step outside,
it's the rules of engagement.
Think I did the right thing then?
Yeah. Hundred percent, mate.
Hundred fucking percent.
I'm gonna boost. Asboid?
Yeah. I just got to nip
back to the station.
Meet you out front? Yeah.
Hello, Chubs.
What you doing here?
Free country.
Left Emily on her own,
where you been?!
Having a mooch. Getting stitches.
You know, the usual.
I just thought I'd let you know
that it's over for you now.
See, I'm coming for you, Chubs.
Whatever you think you've got here,
that's a dream now.
And I'm a fucking alarm clock.
Hi.
'You picked up!'
I did. How was the first day?
'You remembered.'
'Spent enough time watching you
try on that bloody suit. So?'
Yeah, no, it were fine.
Er, Ziggy rung us.
She's worried about you.
Ziggy's got a sticky beak.
Where are you?
I'm... I'm outside my...
Grace's house.
Her mum wants us to tell her
tonight, explain it to her.
She's only ten, I dunno how she'll
take it, having that dropped on her.
You know when you...
when you had her?
Was, was he there,
holding your hand, all that?
No. He were in the pub.
He were in the pub a lot.
I would've been there.
I know you would.
Jesus, Kev, I've gotta go in there
in a minute, I can't be...
You'll be fine.
She's lucky, got two mums
and one of them's you.
I always had it in my head
you'd be here for this bit.
She'd have such a crush on you,
you know.
Yeah, I've been pretty popular
with little girls lately.
Listen, next week, the anniversary,
will you ring us if you need to?
Yeah. All right, thanks for ringing.
Because as a taxpayer,
Trish, I'm asking -
treating someone like that,
how does that help recidivism?
When she comes over, we'll sit her
down, get it over with.
Look out, Sally Gunnell's here.
Hi, Grace.
Yeah, sit.
We had the Paralympic Scouts
at school last week,
she ran her best time yet,
didn't you?
But... she's only ten.
Oh, they plan ahead.
2020, they said.
Anyway, I told them,
we'll have to see how it fits in
with her Mandarin classes.
Can I have a biscuit?
No, Froggie, dinner soon.
S'for you. Wow, what is it?
Ah. Thank you, sweetheart.
It's beautiful.
Right, Grace,
come and sit between Trish and Mum.
Now, Grace, you know I'm your mum,
but I that didn't give birth to you?
Well, the reason
I wanted you to meet Trish
is because she's your birth mum.
And she wants to get to know you.
Will I still live here?
Yes, Froggie, nothing's going
to change, nothing at all.
Do you want to show her?
That's you.
Dennis?
Gog. I just saw him
and he's... Fuck.
Fuck. He's after me, guv,
and I dunno... I can't...
All right, all right, calm down, you
can kip with me, I told you that.
You want him knowing where you live,
do you?!
'If he wants to find me,
he can find me.'
'He's a boy. You remember that.'
Whatever he seems like,
he's a stupid, scared little boy.
And I can handle him.
I'm next door if you want me.
Thanks, guv.