The Six Million Dollar Man (1974–1978): Season 5, Episode 21 - The Moving Mountain - full transcript
Steve Austin teams up with a KGB agent, Andrea Mastrova, to track down stolen U.S. smart missiles developed by the OSI and a stolen Russian missile launching tank both taken by a man named ...
FLIGHT COM:
It looks good at NASA One.
B-52 >PILOT:
Roger.
BCS Arm switch is on.
FLIGHT COM:
Okay, Victor.
B-52 PILOT:
Landing Rocket Arm switch is on.
Here comes the throttle.
Circuit breakers in.
STEVE:
We have separation.
B-52 PILOT:
Inboard and outboards are on.
I'm comin' forward with the side stick.
FLIGHT COM:
Looks good.
PILOT:
Ah, Roger.
STEVE:
I've got a blowout in damper three.
SR-71 PILOT:
Get your pitch to zero.
STEVE:
Pitch is out. I can't hold altitude!
B-52 PILOT: Correction. Alpha Hold is oil“.
Threat selector is emergency.
STEVE: Flight Com. I can't hold it!
She's breaking up! She's breaking...
ANNOUNCER:
Steve Austin. Astronaut.
A man barely alive.
Gentlemen, we can rebuild him.
We have the technology.
We have the capability
to make the world's first bionic man.
Steve Austin will be that man.
Better than he was before.
Better, stronger, faster.
(MAIN TITLE THEME)
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
Reporting as ordered,
Comrade General.
Such formality, Andrea?
This is an assignment,
not a military review.
Relax.
Thank you, Semyon.
You read the file on the missile
launcher incident, hmm?
The latest, top-secret version of our
launcher, Code Name: Mountain.
Stolen from one of
our so-called allies.
One of our most
valuable military devices...
so I naturally assign our most
valuable operative to get it back.
What have we to go on?
You have nothing, unfortunately.
But, you'll find some leads.
I have confidence.
Do we assume the
Americans are behind this?
We always assume the
Americans are behind everything...
as they assume we are.
In this case, it seems very probable.
Americans, working
through their agents...
or hiring some shabby traitor to sell
out for a few of their beloved dollars.
I shall go to work
at it at once, Comrade.
You have top priority
with all facilities of the KGB.
Thank you.
“bl.“
We want it back.
(GOAT BLEATS)
(ENGINE HUMMING)
(ENGINES ROAR)
Santos! Santos!
Planes!
Routine surveillance.
The imperialists follow their
routines with blind predictability.
If this works, we can hold
the whole world for ransom...
and finance an army of terrorists!
I said it will work.
We are almost in position.
Reconnaissance planes report all clear.
Good.
(PHONE RINGS)
Colonel Austin.
Roger.
Air Force says it's okay.
The perimeter security's all clear.
Let's roll her out.
The O.S.I.'s remote guidance
system is the real kicker.
We can control that tank
from 10 miles off safely.
That capability makes it a major
advance for NATO's ground defenses.
Impressive.
(ENGINE SLOWS)
The tank will be reaching
the experimental range now.
Are you certain?
I spent two weeks there
cleaning out latrines...
and memorizing the
layout and procedures.
Whenever we're ready.
I have the experimental tank
locked on the radar.
We must hit it
the first time, Santos.
There will be no
second chance...
and the test base is over
20 kilometers away.
These missiles are self-guided
and accurate up to 50 kilometers.
A modern American military miracle,
compliments of the O.S.I.
Now!
(WHIRRING)
Radar's picked up on something.
Missile or a large artillery shell!
Bring back the tank.
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
How did that miss us?
It was flying right for our heads!
Lucky, I guess.
This picture was taken by one of
the test monitor cameras, Oscar.
The tank dodged, and the missile
followed it like it had the scent.
In a sophisticated,
electronic sense, it had, Steve.
It's a smart missile.
One of ours.
What, American?
Worse. It was developed by the O.S.I.
How embarrassing,
it just blew up a NATO tank.
Any idea who pulled the trigger?
He's gone under a dozen names,
but usually, Santos.
Santos.
Ideological terrorist...
worked with Black September...
and the Japanese
Vengeance Brigade.
There was an airport
hijacking that, uh...
Gatwick Airport, two years ago.
8 killed, 23 wounded
and a 747 blown up.
And Santos got away clean, Steve,
with half a million British pounds.
He got away clean
this time, too.
Ballistics indicate that the missile
was fired from a farmhouse...
about 20 kilometers away.
We checked it out,
and it was clean.
There’s just no way to hide
an entire missile launch complex.
Oh yes, there is.
If it's mobile.
And that's just what he did.
He fired the missile...
and then he drove away
with the missile vehicle.
We don't have such a vehicle.
We don't, but the Russians do.
A self-powered, heavily armored
mobile missile launcher.
Code named, Gora.
Mountain.
Moving Mountain.
Santos stole it? How?
We don't know.
Maybe with help from the inside,
some ideological fanatic.
We don't even know
how he got our missiles.
But I'm gonna find out
while you're out looking for them.
Bringing back the missiles and Santos?
And the Soviet missile launcher,
if possible.
Oscar, did it ever occur to you...
that the Russians may be
interested in nailing Santos?
Yes, it has, Colonel.
They're going to send somebody...
and you're just gonna
have to handle him.
ANDREA: This time, at least,
the Americans were not responsible...
for the theft of Mountain.
We've established that the terrorist,
Santos, has the device.
Of course.
Things fall into place.
I've done some establishing, too.
The NATO robot tank.
Destroyed by a rocket during
a test run to show its capabilities.
Our work?
No. We limited ourselves
to arranging for these photographs...
and acquiring some
very interesting information.
That tank was blown up
by an American missile.
One remarkably accurate missile
fired from who knows where?
The Americans had a safe
perimeter of seven miles.
So you assume it was fired
from our mobile launcher.
An American missile,
stolen by Santos...
fired from a Russian launcher,
stolen by Santos.
I'll go after him at once.
GORBUKOV: The Americans have
assigned Colonel Steve Austin...
O.S.I., to the case.
To recover the American missiles?
Of course.
But I don't want to simply break even
on this just get Mountain back.
We need a profit
this time, Andrea.
Pressure again?
There is always pressure.
They're reviewing my budget now.
I need a success.
Remember, your father was killed...
in an attempt to penetrate
the O.S.I. armory, two years ago.
This could be your opportunity...
to complete the mission
he planned against the O.S.I.
You know about Austin...
he does not know about you.
Use that advantage: block him,
trick him, seduce him.
Do whatever is necessary.
Whatever?
I know your feelings, Andrea.
On this assignment,
there will be no necessity to kill.
Thank you.
I do not like it, she's too soft.
Full of humanitarianism.
It is ridiculous.
I agree.
But she will function with higher efficiency
if she believes she doesn't have to kill.
But when it is necessary...
there is a trigger in Andrea's mind.
She doesn't know about it herself.
But when I pull it...
she will kill Austin
with the greatest of pleasure.
Sorry. I was told no one was here.
The Vallardins are away.
Did you want them?
No.
Are you here often?
I come in every day to clean up
a bit and to milk the cow.
Then you were here yesterday?
Yes, sir.
About this time?
Uh... earlier.
Did you notice anything unusual?
No...
The Fouquets, from the farm
3 kilometers down the road...
they went into town.
A day early, this week.
Did you notice any strange vehicles?
I don't think so, sir.
They drove in their wagon.
On, no. Not the neighbors.
Have there been any
military-looking vehicles?
No, sir.
(BIONIC EYE SOUND EFFECT)
(TEARING)
Thanks.
If there is anything
I can do, sir...
No, thanks.
(DOOR OPENS, CLOSES)
OSCAR: There's your peasant girl.
She's not mine.
You bet she isn't.
She belongs to the KGB,
Gorbukov's Special Unit.
Andrea Alexeyovna Mestrova.
Rank: Major.
Top-level agent.
Outstanding record,
including this morning.
Thanks. I needed that.
Good thing she wasn't after you.
She's after Santos.
And it looks like she's got
a roaring head start on you, pal.
Not exactly. I gave Rudy
a description of the match I found.
Yeah, I had this sketch made and
ran some details through the computer.
It comes from a mountain village
about 80 kilometers east of here.
It's a well-known starting point
for climbing the Alps...
a charming inn there,
named the Chamonix.
Chamonix.
Well, you know
where you're going.
(HORN HONKS)
(PHONE RINGS)
Yes?
Who?
You are certain?
All right, then, put him through.
Hello, Oscar.
How are you?
I'm fine, Semyon.
I'm in excellent health.
I'm anxious to talk with you.
I'm flattered, my friend.
Any subject in particular?
Sports? Theatre? Music?
How about Santos?
And my budget.
I'm not sure I understand.
Semyon, let's be semi-honest
for a change.
I have an agent out looking
for Santos and my missiles.
You have an agent out looking
for Santos and your mobile launcher.
It's seems as if we have
a community of interest.
In Santos, yes.
You mentioned your budget, Oscar.
We're always fighting
penny-pinching bookkeepers, too.
Are you suggesting that we might save
money by not opposing each other?
Better yet.
How about cooperation?
Two agents, one team.
No waste of energy,
and a better shot at Santos.
I see.
But, uh, your missiles.
And our launcher?
Once we nail Santos,
you take your property...
I take mine and we go home.
Most intriguing.
But at the moment, Colonel Austin has,
I understand, fallen a trifle behind.
Wrong, Semyon.
He'll be in Chamonix
in less than two hours.
Very good.
All right, Oscar, why not?
Then it's a deal?
Yes! Andrea and your Steve Austin,
they'll make a marvelous team!
Temporarily, of course.
Of course, Semyon.
You know, Semyon, we may
have just made a little history today.
We shall know that, Oscar,
when we have Santos.
So the best of luck.
You're trusting Semyon Gorbukov?
You can not believe him!
I don't.
It's obvious that in a crisis Austin
will simply overpower Andrea.
Exactly! And
what will stop him?
Two years ago, Andrea's father died,
trying to penetrate O.S.I. security.
What she doesn't know...
is that Colonel Steve Austin killed him.
When she learns that,
she will kill Austin without hesitation.
(BEEPS TWICE)
This is insane!
I agree.
But our thimble-brained
superiors gave the order.
Major Mestrova,
we are now a team, you and me.
Call your com center.
I've got the number,
in case you've forgotten it.
It's ridiculous!
Exactly what I told Oscar,
but you haven't heard it all yet.
Know howl got this at the desk?
I'm your husband.
What?
We're newlyweds, Mrs. Austin.
On a honeymoon,
off into the romantic wild mountains.
Newlyweds...
Oh. Because of Santos.
The perfect cover
while we search for Santos.
Who'd suspect two lovers?
We can wander around and...
(KNOCKING)
I took the liberty of ordering
us some champagne.
I thought you might need it.
I do.
Come in!
How wonderful, Darling!
It looks very tasty.
Exactly what I was thinking.
We don't seem to have
much choice, Colonel Austin.
Yes, this is true.
But it's not Colonel Austin,
it's Steve.
In that case, Steve.
To coexistence.
(CLINK)
I don't recognize the man...
but the woman is
Major A. A. Mestrova of the K.G.B.
Right here, in our little hotel.
Extremely convenient.
(cows MOO)
You'll have no difficulties, Mr. Austin.
Just stay on those trails there.
Thank you.
Standard operating procedure.
I've got the trails marked.
Good. My people say
Santos is still in the area.
With the Mountain
and the missiles.
How much does that
Mountain launcher weigh?
Fully equipped without
armament, four tons.
How many missiles did he steal?
Six. He's used one.
How heavy are they?
Uh, 250 pounds.
Not a little toy
he can drive on every trail.
The road to the north is too steep.
He'd avoid the populated
areas to the west.
The bridge across river
to the south isn't strong enough.
Due east, into the valley.
That's where we'll find him.
Somewhere...
What is it?
I was just congratulating myself
on my great taste in wives.
(RADIO SIGNAL)
Good morning, Oscar.
You were supposed to check in
two and a half minutes ago.
I overslept.
Just relax, we're leaving now.
I've laid out a search pattern.
We'll check with you tonight.
Good.
Have an interesting
honeymoon, pal...
and send my best to your bride.
All bureaucrats are the same.
Living by their paper schedules,
in their paper worlds.
I checked in with my
Com Control earlier.
They wanted to know if you had attempted
to influence me ideologically.
We better start moving.
Aren't we going to have breakfast first?
I'm very hungry.
Of course.
Tell me about yourself, Andrea.
Brothers, sisters, family, friends.
Lam an orphan. No family.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Is that why you became an agent?
In a way, perhaps.
Why did you? Ex-astronaut,
you could have found an easier life.
I read your file, Steve.
As I am sure you read mine.
STEVE: Sure. All the paperwork...
but that's a sorry approximation
for a human being.
Of a beautiful girl, with a sense
of humor and a taste for the ballet?
Lam quite un-Russian.
I am bored by the ballet.
But when I was little, I planned
to become a hockey player.
Unfortunately, I did not grow up to be
6 feet tall, weighing 200 pounds.
And with all your teeth knocked out.
I'm just as glad.
My second choice was to be
a Cossack trick rider.
I've always loved horses.
That sounds a little bit more feminine.
Not the way I ride!
It's curious.
We are enemies from different worlds
and yet, I can talk to you so easily.
I know, Andrea.
We're in a difficult profession.
But now, for just a little while,
we can be just two people.
And speaking for one of them,
I'm very grateful.
All right, Capitalist Swine, let's go.
On our way, Red Menace.
Kill them.
OSCAR: How's it going, Rudy?
Well, as soon as we finish
the seeking circuitry...
we'll be able to patch into the
O.S.I. computer banks, via satellite.
What's the level of security?
It's normal.
That's not good enough,
not on this one.
What?
With the Russians monitoring
every transmission.
I want these communications
penetration proof.
Oscar, that'd take time.
I don't care what it'll take.
Can you do it?
Yeah.
There goes my night's sleep.
I'll allocate O.S.I. funds
for an extra pot of hot coffee.
(RUSTLING, FOOTSTEPS)
It's just me.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Don't be.
I find it reassuring.
As your American saying has it:
"Better to be quick than dead."
Although I wish we were only
climbing in the mountains.
Without fears,
without the promise of death.
Yeah, I know.
But we both volunteered
and here we are.
Yes.
And I will tell you, Steve,
I've have had worse assignments.
And worse partners.
I'll drink to that..
It's done?
Couple of hours.
I'll check with Steve.
(RADIO SIGNAL)
My master's voice.
Good morning, Oscar.
We're approximately
30 kilometers out...
we haven't seen
anything or anybody.
I wouldn't expect that you would,
Steve, first day.
We'll have an information retrieval capability
ready in a couple of hours.
Terrific! We'll try to think
of interesting questions.
Anything you want to know,
Andrea?
NATO secrets?
O.S.I. codes?
ANDREA: Will I get an answer?
Not for your pretty ears.
No. Nothing right now, Oscar.
Over and out.
The way Steve sounds.
He's out there with a woman...
who is a top-notch,
dedicated KGB agent...
and I think
she's softening him up.
Get me everything you
can on Major Mestrova.
Will do.
Beautiful, huh?
Yeah. Maybe we'll come back some day
when we're not on assignment.
I'd like that.
We better move.
Yeah.
(BIONIC EYE SOUND EFFECT)
What is it?
There's somebody up there.
Where?
I'll handle it. You just keep
walking to hold his attention.
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
You're going to tell me
a few things I want to know.
What did you find?
One of Santos' men.
I left him tied up.
Where is Santos?
Unless that fellow is lying,
which I don't think he is...
he's back at the Creva Hotel
setting up an ambush...
for the OPEC's ministers meeting
tomorrow afternoon.
OPEC. The Oil ministers.
Santos has the missiles
targeted for the hotel.
One for the road in,
the second will hit the ministers...
if they don't come up
with the ransom.
Hmmm.
Austin to Goldman.
Austin to Goldman.
Austin to Goldman.
Austin to Goldman.
It's wiped out.
I'm beyond the range of my communications
device so we're on our own.
Past the point of no return.
So we stop Santos
or he won't be stopped.
Well, I guess we'd better stop him.
Let's go.
I can't get through to Steve.
Steve? Steve Austin?
This is Oscar Goldman speaking,
calling Steve Austin.
Hopeless.
All we're getting is dead air.
I just have to gamble
that he's all right.
Yeah.
I've gotten all our data
on Andrea Mestrova...
and I don't think she'll
slow Steve down much.
Impressive record, that lady.
And Mestroff started training her
when she was in diapers.
Mestroff?
Her father.
Alexei Ivanovich Mestroff.
Why?
Get me through to Moscow.
Semyon Gorbukov.
Oscar, it's always a pleasure
to hear from you...
but two phone calls
in so short a time?
My superiors will begin to wonder
if I'm up to something.
I know what you're up to,
and it won't work, Semyon.
Oscar, you're disturbed.
Have I done anything?
Mestrova. Mestroff's daughter.
Marvelous girl. You should meet her.
You'd love her.
Her father was killed...
By Austin.
Luck of the game.
Oscar...
We're old hands.
We don't hold grudges for the failures,
the risks, the hurts.
You assigned her
to kill Steve Austin.
Oscar, I thought we trusted each other.
We are old hands, pal.
Too old to trust.
So, I have warned Steve Austin
that he might be with a bitter enemy.
Good. Not true,
but it will relieve your mind.
If I'd thought it was important, I would have
mentioned it when we first spoke.
All right. All right. But warn her.
She hasn't a chance if she
tries anything with Steve Austin.
I'll tell her...
but Mestrova needs no warnings.
She has accepted the circumstances
of her father's death.
Oh, relax, Oscar.
We're not fighting
the Cold War this week.
We're allies.
Call me anytime.
MISHKIN: Goldman knows.
He's told Austin.
That's what he says.
I was right, Mestrova is
no good for this assignment.
With Austin knowing, she has not a chance
and she lacks the killer instinct.
If Oscar had been able to warn Austin,
why would he phone me to tell me?
Why wouldn't he warn Austin?
I don't know.
If I had to guess, I would say there was
some communications breakdown.
At any rate, his call is a guarantee that
he hasn't managed to alert his agent...
so, Mishkin old friend, all goes well.
All goes very well indeed.
Just beyond this point
is Creva Ridge.
And the hotel.
Nothing else in the valley except
a few houses for the peasants...
who work the hotel grounds.
Santos is there.
Waiting, waiting for the ministers.
And watching for anyone to arrive.
Which we're about to do.
It's undoubtedly guarded.
There's no way to surprise him.
But we must capture him.
Well, with no hope to sneak in...
that leaves only a frontal
approach in broad daylight.
So we march in, knock on the door
and announce our presence?
Something like that.
With modifications.
Sounds crazy...
but then again the two of us
going against Santos' gang...
isn't exactly sane
no matter how we do it.
We won't need this anymore.
If Santos spots us, we won't need anything
short of a high velocity machine gun.
You're right.
Let me have some of that
machine gun ammunition.
Planning to shoot someone?
Nope. Planning to give
that impression.
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
How do you do that?
It's a matter of applying
pressure in the right place.
I once got out of a tight spot
using firecrackers.
Same idea.
When you finish what you're doing...
we have to wait for morning
until we go after Santos, right?
Right.
Hmmm.
All night, just the two of us
and nothing to do.
We'll have to think
of something, won't we?
I already have.
I found him tied to a tree
like a peasant's goat.
Santos, I had to tell them.
He would've killed me.
Instead, you betrayed us.
No! We can get away.
No, no. Don't be stupid.
If they'd raised an alarm...
the hills would be crawling
with troops by now.
We shall have the pleasure
of striking a blow against both.
Mestrova and the American
are undoubtedly nearby.
And soon, they will making
a strike against the lodge.
And it will be a surprise.
This is Oscar Goldman Speaking.
I'd like to speak to Semyon Gorbukov.
I'm sorry, Comrade Goldman.
Comrade Gorbukov is not here.
Do you know where he is?
Do you know where I can reach him?
I do not know.
Is there any message I can
give him when he returns?
Would you be good enough
to have him call me? He knows my number.
It's very important.
He will be told the minute he enters,
Comrade Goldman.
When?
I don't know. He could be sitting right there.
Goldman must be
worried about Austin.
Since he's worrying
about Austin, I won't.
Why should both of us be
concerned about an American agent?
But Mestrova is with him.
We have not heard from her.
Oh, Mishkin, Mishkin,
you have no trust in people.
Mestrova is a remarkable woman.
I believe in her.
Until I have reason to doubt
that she is doing well...
I will assume that she will
complete her assignment as always.
And Austin?
That will be part of her assignment.
You know what it might be,
he could be ducking your call...
because he hasn't told Mestrova
what you asked him to.
I don't expect him to
tell me the truth...
I just thought I might get some hint
from the tone of his voice.
In the meantime,
he left us hanging out to dry.
Never mind where we're left, Rudy.
Steve is facing a dangerous
group of terrorists...
and he's got a woman for a partner
that probably intends to kill him.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
You okay?
Never better.
You're some kind of lady.
I admit a weakness.
I wouldn't like it if anything
happened to you, Imperialist Dog.
If I have my druthers,
nothing will happen to either of us.
Come on, let's go.
ANDREA: It's quiet so far.
Yeah. Too quiet.
They've spotted us.
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
Freeze!
Your Mountain, Comrade Mestrova....
and your missiles, Colonel Austin...
in position to greet the
OPEC Ministers this afternoon.
It's unfortunate
you won't be able to see...
the successful marriage of technologies
of the US. and the USSR.
Maybe we can make a deal.
We'll do anything you say.
(HORSE NEIGHS)
On your bellies.
Flat. Arms out.
Hands spread. Quick.
Good job.
You aren't bad.
At any rate, it's done.
Semyon.
That's how Santos knew about us.
STEVE: And how he stole
a Soviet missile launcher.
Yes.
Why?
The most capitalist of motives,
Andrea Alexeyovna.
Money.
Two million dollars.
You don't care about money.
You work for our country.
I grow old, I grow old.
I shall wear the bottoms
of my trousers rolled.
English is a marvelous
language for poets.
Lam losing influence.
The Polit bureau is suspicious,
they make demands, threats.
What are you talking about?
You're a hero.
Oh, yes.
Of course.
And an aging hero is an old man...
in a faded uniform, sitting on a park bench,
trying to stay alive on his pension.
No. Not for me.
So that's why you plotted
treason with Santos.
GORBUKOV: A gamble.
And a very good one.
I still play excellent chess.
We were planning on asking two billion
dollars in ransom from the OPEC Ministers.
I stood to win a share of it,
or at least a measure of prestige...
for ending the notorious Santos.
But I didn't plan on witnesses.
Drop your gun, Semyon.
Andrea Alexeyovna.
Do you know how your father died?
What?
In the United States.
At the hands of an O.S.I. agent.
This O.S.I. agent,
Steve Austin.
Steve?
It's in the official file.
Steve....
Approximately two years ago.
The experimental explosive,
you remember, Colonel?
Steve.
Yes. I remember.
I surprised the man.
He was carrying the explosives.
He ran and it detonated.
Yes.
GORBUKOV: The man who
murdered your father.
Kill him,
Moscow will be delighted.
Santos, his terrorist brigade...
and the man who murdered
Alexei Ivanovich Mestroff.
Kill him.
Austin!
(ENGINE STARTS)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
Andrea...
not for me, for your father.
GORBUKOV: The father you loved.
Kill him.
Andrea.
ANDREA: Steve, it's impossible.
Why?
I have to report in.
Well, me too.
But you need rest and I feel
a responsibility to see that you get it.
(KNOCKING)
Steve!
I told them to make up something suitable
for two newlyweds, for one week.
One week!
Okay, two weeks.
Filthy Crypto-Fascist.
Bolshevik Saboteur,
I bet you make love to your tractor.
That's one bet you'd lose.
(END THEME MUSIC)
It looks good at NASA One.
B-52 >PILOT:
Roger.
BCS Arm switch is on.
FLIGHT COM:
Okay, Victor.
B-52 PILOT:
Landing Rocket Arm switch is on.
Here comes the throttle.
Circuit breakers in.
STEVE:
We have separation.
B-52 PILOT:
Inboard and outboards are on.
I'm comin' forward with the side stick.
FLIGHT COM:
Looks good.
PILOT:
Ah, Roger.
STEVE:
I've got a blowout in damper three.
SR-71 PILOT:
Get your pitch to zero.
STEVE:
Pitch is out. I can't hold altitude!
B-52 PILOT: Correction. Alpha Hold is oil“.
Threat selector is emergency.
STEVE: Flight Com. I can't hold it!
She's breaking up! She's breaking...
ANNOUNCER:
Steve Austin. Astronaut.
A man barely alive.
Gentlemen, we can rebuild him.
We have the technology.
We have the capability
to make the world's first bionic man.
Steve Austin will be that man.
Better than he was before.
Better, stronger, faster.
(MAIN TITLE THEME)
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
Reporting as ordered,
Comrade General.
Such formality, Andrea?
This is an assignment,
not a military review.
Relax.
Thank you, Semyon.
You read the file on the missile
launcher incident, hmm?
The latest, top-secret version of our
launcher, Code Name: Mountain.
Stolen from one of
our so-called allies.
One of our most
valuable military devices...
so I naturally assign our most
valuable operative to get it back.
What have we to go on?
You have nothing, unfortunately.
But, you'll find some leads.
I have confidence.
Do we assume the
Americans are behind this?
We always assume the
Americans are behind everything...
as they assume we are.
In this case, it seems very probable.
Americans, working
through their agents...
or hiring some shabby traitor to sell
out for a few of their beloved dollars.
I shall go to work
at it at once, Comrade.
You have top priority
with all facilities of the KGB.
Thank you.
“bl.“
We want it back.
(GOAT BLEATS)
(ENGINE HUMMING)
(ENGINES ROAR)
Santos! Santos!
Planes!
Routine surveillance.
The imperialists follow their
routines with blind predictability.
If this works, we can hold
the whole world for ransom...
and finance an army of terrorists!
I said it will work.
We are almost in position.
Reconnaissance planes report all clear.
Good.
(PHONE RINGS)
Colonel Austin.
Roger.
Air Force says it's okay.
The perimeter security's all clear.
Let's roll her out.
The O.S.I.'s remote guidance
system is the real kicker.
We can control that tank
from 10 miles off safely.
That capability makes it a major
advance for NATO's ground defenses.
Impressive.
(ENGINE SLOWS)
The tank will be reaching
the experimental range now.
Are you certain?
I spent two weeks there
cleaning out latrines...
and memorizing the
layout and procedures.
Whenever we're ready.
I have the experimental tank
locked on the radar.
We must hit it
the first time, Santos.
There will be no
second chance...
and the test base is over
20 kilometers away.
These missiles are self-guided
and accurate up to 50 kilometers.
A modern American military miracle,
compliments of the O.S.I.
Now!
(WHIRRING)
Radar's picked up on something.
Missile or a large artillery shell!
Bring back the tank.
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
How did that miss us?
It was flying right for our heads!
Lucky, I guess.
This picture was taken by one of
the test monitor cameras, Oscar.
The tank dodged, and the missile
followed it like it had the scent.
In a sophisticated,
electronic sense, it had, Steve.
It's a smart missile.
One of ours.
What, American?
Worse. It was developed by the O.S.I.
How embarrassing,
it just blew up a NATO tank.
Any idea who pulled the trigger?
He's gone under a dozen names,
but usually, Santos.
Santos.
Ideological terrorist...
worked with Black September...
and the Japanese
Vengeance Brigade.
There was an airport
hijacking that, uh...
Gatwick Airport, two years ago.
8 killed, 23 wounded
and a 747 blown up.
And Santos got away clean, Steve,
with half a million British pounds.
He got away clean
this time, too.
Ballistics indicate that the missile
was fired from a farmhouse...
about 20 kilometers away.
We checked it out,
and it was clean.
There’s just no way to hide
an entire missile launch complex.
Oh yes, there is.
If it's mobile.
And that's just what he did.
He fired the missile...
and then he drove away
with the missile vehicle.
We don't have such a vehicle.
We don't, but the Russians do.
A self-powered, heavily armored
mobile missile launcher.
Code named, Gora.
Mountain.
Moving Mountain.
Santos stole it? How?
We don't know.
Maybe with help from the inside,
some ideological fanatic.
We don't even know
how he got our missiles.
But I'm gonna find out
while you're out looking for them.
Bringing back the missiles and Santos?
And the Soviet missile launcher,
if possible.
Oscar, did it ever occur to you...
that the Russians may be
interested in nailing Santos?
Yes, it has, Colonel.
They're going to send somebody...
and you're just gonna
have to handle him.
ANDREA: This time, at least,
the Americans were not responsible...
for the theft of Mountain.
We've established that the terrorist,
Santos, has the device.
Of course.
Things fall into place.
I've done some establishing, too.
The NATO robot tank.
Destroyed by a rocket during
a test run to show its capabilities.
Our work?
No. We limited ourselves
to arranging for these photographs...
and acquiring some
very interesting information.
That tank was blown up
by an American missile.
One remarkably accurate missile
fired from who knows where?
The Americans had a safe
perimeter of seven miles.
So you assume it was fired
from our mobile launcher.
An American missile,
stolen by Santos...
fired from a Russian launcher,
stolen by Santos.
I'll go after him at once.
GORBUKOV: The Americans have
assigned Colonel Steve Austin...
O.S.I., to the case.
To recover the American missiles?
Of course.
But I don't want to simply break even
on this just get Mountain back.
We need a profit
this time, Andrea.
Pressure again?
There is always pressure.
They're reviewing my budget now.
I need a success.
Remember, your father was killed...
in an attempt to penetrate
the O.S.I. armory, two years ago.
This could be your opportunity...
to complete the mission
he planned against the O.S.I.
You know about Austin...
he does not know about you.
Use that advantage: block him,
trick him, seduce him.
Do whatever is necessary.
Whatever?
I know your feelings, Andrea.
On this assignment,
there will be no necessity to kill.
Thank you.
I do not like it, she's too soft.
Full of humanitarianism.
It is ridiculous.
I agree.
But she will function with higher efficiency
if she believes she doesn't have to kill.
But when it is necessary...
there is a trigger in Andrea's mind.
She doesn't know about it herself.
But when I pull it...
she will kill Austin
with the greatest of pleasure.
Sorry. I was told no one was here.
The Vallardins are away.
Did you want them?
No.
Are you here often?
I come in every day to clean up
a bit and to milk the cow.
Then you were here yesterday?
Yes, sir.
About this time?
Uh... earlier.
Did you notice anything unusual?
No...
The Fouquets, from the farm
3 kilometers down the road...
they went into town.
A day early, this week.
Did you notice any strange vehicles?
I don't think so, sir.
They drove in their wagon.
On, no. Not the neighbors.
Have there been any
military-looking vehicles?
No, sir.
(BIONIC EYE SOUND EFFECT)
(TEARING)
Thanks.
If there is anything
I can do, sir...
No, thanks.
(DOOR OPENS, CLOSES)
OSCAR: There's your peasant girl.
She's not mine.
You bet she isn't.
She belongs to the KGB,
Gorbukov's Special Unit.
Andrea Alexeyovna Mestrova.
Rank: Major.
Top-level agent.
Outstanding record,
including this morning.
Thanks. I needed that.
Good thing she wasn't after you.
She's after Santos.
And it looks like she's got
a roaring head start on you, pal.
Not exactly. I gave Rudy
a description of the match I found.
Yeah, I had this sketch made and
ran some details through the computer.
It comes from a mountain village
about 80 kilometers east of here.
It's a well-known starting point
for climbing the Alps...
a charming inn there,
named the Chamonix.
Chamonix.
Well, you know
where you're going.
(HORN HONKS)
(PHONE RINGS)
Yes?
Who?
You are certain?
All right, then, put him through.
Hello, Oscar.
How are you?
I'm fine, Semyon.
I'm in excellent health.
I'm anxious to talk with you.
I'm flattered, my friend.
Any subject in particular?
Sports? Theatre? Music?
How about Santos?
And my budget.
I'm not sure I understand.
Semyon, let's be semi-honest
for a change.
I have an agent out looking
for Santos and my missiles.
You have an agent out looking
for Santos and your mobile launcher.
It's seems as if we have
a community of interest.
In Santos, yes.
You mentioned your budget, Oscar.
We're always fighting
penny-pinching bookkeepers, too.
Are you suggesting that we might save
money by not opposing each other?
Better yet.
How about cooperation?
Two agents, one team.
No waste of energy,
and a better shot at Santos.
I see.
But, uh, your missiles.
And our launcher?
Once we nail Santos,
you take your property...
I take mine and we go home.
Most intriguing.
But at the moment, Colonel Austin has,
I understand, fallen a trifle behind.
Wrong, Semyon.
He'll be in Chamonix
in less than two hours.
Very good.
All right, Oscar, why not?
Then it's a deal?
Yes! Andrea and your Steve Austin,
they'll make a marvelous team!
Temporarily, of course.
Of course, Semyon.
You know, Semyon, we may
have just made a little history today.
We shall know that, Oscar,
when we have Santos.
So the best of luck.
You're trusting Semyon Gorbukov?
You can not believe him!
I don't.
It's obvious that in a crisis Austin
will simply overpower Andrea.
Exactly! And
what will stop him?
Two years ago, Andrea's father died,
trying to penetrate O.S.I. security.
What she doesn't know...
is that Colonel Steve Austin killed him.
When she learns that,
she will kill Austin without hesitation.
(BEEPS TWICE)
This is insane!
I agree.
But our thimble-brained
superiors gave the order.
Major Mestrova,
we are now a team, you and me.
Call your com center.
I've got the number,
in case you've forgotten it.
It's ridiculous!
Exactly what I told Oscar,
but you haven't heard it all yet.
Know howl got this at the desk?
I'm your husband.
What?
We're newlyweds, Mrs. Austin.
On a honeymoon,
off into the romantic wild mountains.
Newlyweds...
Oh. Because of Santos.
The perfect cover
while we search for Santos.
Who'd suspect two lovers?
We can wander around and...
(KNOCKING)
I took the liberty of ordering
us some champagne.
I thought you might need it.
I do.
Come in!
How wonderful, Darling!
It looks very tasty.
Exactly what I was thinking.
We don't seem to have
much choice, Colonel Austin.
Yes, this is true.
But it's not Colonel Austin,
it's Steve.
In that case, Steve.
To coexistence.
(CLINK)
I don't recognize the man...
but the woman is
Major A. A. Mestrova of the K.G.B.
Right here, in our little hotel.
Extremely convenient.
(cows MOO)
You'll have no difficulties, Mr. Austin.
Just stay on those trails there.
Thank you.
Standard operating procedure.
I've got the trails marked.
Good. My people say
Santos is still in the area.
With the Mountain
and the missiles.
How much does that
Mountain launcher weigh?
Fully equipped without
armament, four tons.
How many missiles did he steal?
Six. He's used one.
How heavy are they?
Uh, 250 pounds.
Not a little toy
he can drive on every trail.
The road to the north is too steep.
He'd avoid the populated
areas to the west.
The bridge across river
to the south isn't strong enough.
Due east, into the valley.
That's where we'll find him.
Somewhere...
What is it?
I was just congratulating myself
on my great taste in wives.
(RADIO SIGNAL)
Good morning, Oscar.
You were supposed to check in
two and a half minutes ago.
I overslept.
Just relax, we're leaving now.
I've laid out a search pattern.
We'll check with you tonight.
Good.
Have an interesting
honeymoon, pal...
and send my best to your bride.
All bureaucrats are the same.
Living by their paper schedules,
in their paper worlds.
I checked in with my
Com Control earlier.
They wanted to know if you had attempted
to influence me ideologically.
We better start moving.
Aren't we going to have breakfast first?
I'm very hungry.
Of course.
Tell me about yourself, Andrea.
Brothers, sisters, family, friends.
Lam an orphan. No family.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Is that why you became an agent?
In a way, perhaps.
Why did you? Ex-astronaut,
you could have found an easier life.
I read your file, Steve.
As I am sure you read mine.
STEVE: Sure. All the paperwork...
but that's a sorry approximation
for a human being.
Of a beautiful girl, with a sense
of humor and a taste for the ballet?
Lam quite un-Russian.
I am bored by the ballet.
But when I was little, I planned
to become a hockey player.
Unfortunately, I did not grow up to be
6 feet tall, weighing 200 pounds.
And with all your teeth knocked out.
I'm just as glad.
My second choice was to be
a Cossack trick rider.
I've always loved horses.
That sounds a little bit more feminine.
Not the way I ride!
It's curious.
We are enemies from different worlds
and yet, I can talk to you so easily.
I know, Andrea.
We're in a difficult profession.
But now, for just a little while,
we can be just two people.
And speaking for one of them,
I'm very grateful.
All right, Capitalist Swine, let's go.
On our way, Red Menace.
Kill them.
OSCAR: How's it going, Rudy?
Well, as soon as we finish
the seeking circuitry...
we'll be able to patch into the
O.S.I. computer banks, via satellite.
What's the level of security?
It's normal.
That's not good enough,
not on this one.
What?
With the Russians monitoring
every transmission.
I want these communications
penetration proof.
Oscar, that'd take time.
I don't care what it'll take.
Can you do it?
Yeah.
There goes my night's sleep.
I'll allocate O.S.I. funds
for an extra pot of hot coffee.
(RUSTLING, FOOTSTEPS)
It's just me.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Don't be.
I find it reassuring.
As your American saying has it:
"Better to be quick than dead."
Although I wish we were only
climbing in the mountains.
Without fears,
without the promise of death.
Yeah, I know.
But we both volunteered
and here we are.
Yes.
And I will tell you, Steve,
I've have had worse assignments.
And worse partners.
I'll drink to that..
It's done?
Couple of hours.
I'll check with Steve.
(RADIO SIGNAL)
My master's voice.
Good morning, Oscar.
We're approximately
30 kilometers out...
we haven't seen
anything or anybody.
I wouldn't expect that you would,
Steve, first day.
We'll have an information retrieval capability
ready in a couple of hours.
Terrific! We'll try to think
of interesting questions.
Anything you want to know,
Andrea?
NATO secrets?
O.S.I. codes?
ANDREA: Will I get an answer?
Not for your pretty ears.
No. Nothing right now, Oscar.
Over and out.
The way Steve sounds.
He's out there with a woman...
who is a top-notch,
dedicated KGB agent...
and I think
she's softening him up.
Get me everything you
can on Major Mestrova.
Will do.
Beautiful, huh?
Yeah. Maybe we'll come back some day
when we're not on assignment.
I'd like that.
We better move.
Yeah.
(BIONIC EYE SOUND EFFECT)
What is it?
There's somebody up there.
Where?
I'll handle it. You just keep
walking to hold his attention.
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
You're going to tell me
a few things I want to know.
What did you find?
One of Santos' men.
I left him tied up.
Where is Santos?
Unless that fellow is lying,
which I don't think he is...
he's back at the Creva Hotel
setting up an ambush...
for the OPEC's ministers meeting
tomorrow afternoon.
OPEC. The Oil ministers.
Santos has the missiles
targeted for the hotel.
One for the road in,
the second will hit the ministers...
if they don't come up
with the ransom.
Hmmm.
Austin to Goldman.
Austin to Goldman.
Austin to Goldman.
Austin to Goldman.
It's wiped out.
I'm beyond the range of my communications
device so we're on our own.
Past the point of no return.
So we stop Santos
or he won't be stopped.
Well, I guess we'd better stop him.
Let's go.
I can't get through to Steve.
Steve? Steve Austin?
This is Oscar Goldman speaking,
calling Steve Austin.
Hopeless.
All we're getting is dead air.
I just have to gamble
that he's all right.
Yeah.
I've gotten all our data
on Andrea Mestrova...
and I don't think she'll
slow Steve down much.
Impressive record, that lady.
And Mestroff started training her
when she was in diapers.
Mestroff?
Her father.
Alexei Ivanovich Mestroff.
Why?
Get me through to Moscow.
Semyon Gorbukov.
Oscar, it's always a pleasure
to hear from you...
but two phone calls
in so short a time?
My superiors will begin to wonder
if I'm up to something.
I know what you're up to,
and it won't work, Semyon.
Oscar, you're disturbed.
Have I done anything?
Mestrova. Mestroff's daughter.
Marvelous girl. You should meet her.
You'd love her.
Her father was killed...
By Austin.
Luck of the game.
Oscar...
We're old hands.
We don't hold grudges for the failures,
the risks, the hurts.
You assigned her
to kill Steve Austin.
Oscar, I thought we trusted each other.
We are old hands, pal.
Too old to trust.
So, I have warned Steve Austin
that he might be with a bitter enemy.
Good. Not true,
but it will relieve your mind.
If I'd thought it was important, I would have
mentioned it when we first spoke.
All right. All right. But warn her.
She hasn't a chance if she
tries anything with Steve Austin.
I'll tell her...
but Mestrova needs no warnings.
She has accepted the circumstances
of her father's death.
Oh, relax, Oscar.
We're not fighting
the Cold War this week.
We're allies.
Call me anytime.
MISHKIN: Goldman knows.
He's told Austin.
That's what he says.
I was right, Mestrova is
no good for this assignment.
With Austin knowing, she has not a chance
and she lacks the killer instinct.
If Oscar had been able to warn Austin,
why would he phone me to tell me?
Why wouldn't he warn Austin?
I don't know.
If I had to guess, I would say there was
some communications breakdown.
At any rate, his call is a guarantee that
he hasn't managed to alert his agent...
so, Mishkin old friend, all goes well.
All goes very well indeed.
Just beyond this point
is Creva Ridge.
And the hotel.
Nothing else in the valley except
a few houses for the peasants...
who work the hotel grounds.
Santos is there.
Waiting, waiting for the ministers.
And watching for anyone to arrive.
Which we're about to do.
It's undoubtedly guarded.
There's no way to surprise him.
But we must capture him.
Well, with no hope to sneak in...
that leaves only a frontal
approach in broad daylight.
So we march in, knock on the door
and announce our presence?
Something like that.
With modifications.
Sounds crazy...
but then again the two of us
going against Santos' gang...
isn't exactly sane
no matter how we do it.
We won't need this anymore.
If Santos spots us, we won't need anything
short of a high velocity machine gun.
You're right.
Let me have some of that
machine gun ammunition.
Planning to shoot someone?
Nope. Planning to give
that impression.
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
How do you do that?
It's a matter of applying
pressure in the right place.
I once got out of a tight spot
using firecrackers.
Same idea.
When you finish what you're doing...
we have to wait for morning
until we go after Santos, right?
Right.
Hmmm.
All night, just the two of us
and nothing to do.
We'll have to think
of something, won't we?
I already have.
I found him tied to a tree
like a peasant's goat.
Santos, I had to tell them.
He would've killed me.
Instead, you betrayed us.
No! We can get away.
No, no. Don't be stupid.
If they'd raised an alarm...
the hills would be crawling
with troops by now.
We shall have the pleasure
of striking a blow against both.
Mestrova and the American
are undoubtedly nearby.
And soon, they will making
a strike against the lodge.
And it will be a surprise.
This is Oscar Goldman Speaking.
I'd like to speak to Semyon Gorbukov.
I'm sorry, Comrade Goldman.
Comrade Gorbukov is not here.
Do you know where he is?
Do you know where I can reach him?
I do not know.
Is there any message I can
give him when he returns?
Would you be good enough
to have him call me? He knows my number.
It's very important.
He will be told the minute he enters,
Comrade Goldman.
When?
I don't know. He could be sitting right there.
Goldman must be
worried about Austin.
Since he's worrying
about Austin, I won't.
Why should both of us be
concerned about an American agent?
But Mestrova is with him.
We have not heard from her.
Oh, Mishkin, Mishkin,
you have no trust in people.
Mestrova is a remarkable woman.
I believe in her.
Until I have reason to doubt
that she is doing well...
I will assume that she will
complete her assignment as always.
And Austin?
That will be part of her assignment.
You know what it might be,
he could be ducking your call...
because he hasn't told Mestrova
what you asked him to.
I don't expect him to
tell me the truth...
I just thought I might get some hint
from the tone of his voice.
In the meantime,
he left us hanging out to dry.
Never mind where we're left, Rudy.
Steve is facing a dangerous
group of terrorists...
and he's got a woman for a partner
that probably intends to kill him.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
You okay?
Never better.
You're some kind of lady.
I admit a weakness.
I wouldn't like it if anything
happened to you, Imperialist Dog.
If I have my druthers,
nothing will happen to either of us.
Come on, let's go.
ANDREA: It's quiet so far.
Yeah. Too quiet.
They've spotted us.
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
Freeze!
Your Mountain, Comrade Mestrova....
and your missiles, Colonel Austin...
in position to greet the
OPEC Ministers this afternoon.
It's unfortunate
you won't be able to see...
the successful marriage of technologies
of the US. and the USSR.
Maybe we can make a deal.
We'll do anything you say.
(HORSE NEIGHS)
On your bellies.
Flat. Arms out.
Hands spread. Quick.
Good job.
You aren't bad.
At any rate, it's done.
Semyon.
That's how Santos knew about us.
STEVE: And how he stole
a Soviet missile launcher.
Yes.
Why?
The most capitalist of motives,
Andrea Alexeyovna.
Money.
Two million dollars.
You don't care about money.
You work for our country.
I grow old, I grow old.
I shall wear the bottoms
of my trousers rolled.
English is a marvelous
language for poets.
Lam losing influence.
The Polit bureau is suspicious,
they make demands, threats.
What are you talking about?
You're a hero.
Oh, yes.
Of course.
And an aging hero is an old man...
in a faded uniform, sitting on a park bench,
trying to stay alive on his pension.
No. Not for me.
So that's why you plotted
treason with Santos.
GORBUKOV: A gamble.
And a very good one.
I still play excellent chess.
We were planning on asking two billion
dollars in ransom from the OPEC Ministers.
I stood to win a share of it,
or at least a measure of prestige...
for ending the notorious Santos.
But I didn't plan on witnesses.
Drop your gun, Semyon.
Andrea Alexeyovna.
Do you know how your father died?
What?
In the United States.
At the hands of an O.S.I. agent.
This O.S.I. agent,
Steve Austin.
Steve?
It's in the official file.
Steve....
Approximately two years ago.
The experimental explosive,
you remember, Colonel?
Steve.
Yes. I remember.
I surprised the man.
He was carrying the explosives.
He ran and it detonated.
Yes.
GORBUKOV: The man who
murdered your father.
Kill him,
Moscow will be delighted.
Santos, his terrorist brigade...
and the man who murdered
Alexei Ivanovich Mestroff.
Kill him.
Austin!
(ENGINE STARTS)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
Andrea...
not for me, for your father.
GORBUKOV: The father you loved.
Kill him.
Andrea.
ANDREA: Steve, it's impossible.
Why?
I have to report in.
Well, me too.
But you need rest and I feel
a responsibility to see that you get it.
(KNOCKING)
Steve!
I told them to make up something suitable
for two newlyweds, for one week.
One week!
Okay, two weeks.
Filthy Crypto-Fascist.
Bolshevik Saboteur,
I bet you make love to your tractor.
That's one bet you'd lose.
(END THEME MUSIC)