The Six Million Dollar Man (1974–1978): Season 5, Episode 19 - Date with Danger - full transcript
FLIGHT COM:
It looks good at NASA One.
B-52 >PILOT:
Roger.
BCS Arm switch is on.
FLIGHT COM:
Okay, Victor.
B-52 PILOT: Landing Rocket Arm switch
is on. Here comes the throttle.
Circuit breakers in.
STEVE:
We have separation.
B-52 PILOT:
Inboard and outboards are on.
I'm comin' forward with the side stick.
FLIGHT COM:
Looks good.
PILOT:
Ah, Roger.
STEVE:
I've got a blowout in damper three.
SR-71 PILOT:
Get your pitch to zero.
STEVE:
Pitch is out. I can't hold altitude!
B-52 PILOT: Correction. Alpha Hold is oil“.
Threat selector is emergency.
STEVE: Flight Com. I can't hold it!
She's breaking up! She's breaking...
ANNOUNCER:
Steve Austin. Astronaut.
A man barely alive.
Gentlemen, we can rebuild him.
We have the technology.
We have the capability
to make the world's first bionic man.
Steve Austin will be that man.
Better than he was before.
Better, stronger, faster.
(MAIN TITLE THEME)
(OMINOUS MUSIC)
You know, a man could get
jealous of that computer.
It's a very good instrument.
I never felt that way about it
when it was mine.
Well, I suppose
that's why you sold it.
It likes its new owner.
Lucky computer.
(SIGHS)
You've got some mail
over there on the counter.
Could I ask you a question?
Would you tell me
why you get your mail here...
when you have your
own office down the hall?
I like to maintain
a personal touch.
You ready to
take me up on my offer?
You mean about dinner?
And all the trimmings.
That covers an awful lot of fine print.
You see, I bought this from you.
I happen to know
how you can trim a girl.
Well, I'd sure like to try.
Sorry, not tonight.
I'm sitting up with a sick friend.
Got a little trouble
with my Beta input.
Well, I have a few calls to make.
I'll try you again on the way out.
I'm no quitter.
Now that's the kind of spirit
that made this country great.
(HIGH-PITCHED WHIRRING)
Who's using Mark 9?
You got me.
I didn't know it was scheduled.
Neither did I.
That's kind of freaky.
Who...
Never mind who.
What?
OSCAR: The security of the O.S.I.
has been breached.
Who knows how many national defense
secrets have been compromised.
No, no, don't put him under arrest!
Just keep him under surveillance
at that winter resort.
That's right.
Find out who he sees, where he goes,
telephone calls, everything.
Thank you.
Joe Canton stole
a half a million dollars?
You gotta be kidding.
You don't believe that.
I'd like to think that money
was all he stole.
Oscar, Joe is no thief.
Steve, as our communication chief,
he was in charge of all computers...
including budget items and funds.
When we found out that the money was
stolen, we tracked it through computers...
through five banks,
three dummy corporations...
and a laundering operation
that was pure genius.
It was all done by
your friend Joe Canton.
(PHONE BUZZES)
Yes.
Harold Bell is here,
Mr. Goldman.
Send him in.
I know what you're gonna say.
You're gonna say
it was a computer error.
Let me tell you, we all started out
thinking it was a computer error.
But it wasn't!
(DOOR OPENS)
What do you got, Harold?
I can't believe it.
Joe Canton?
I'd sooner believe I ripped off O.S.I.
Have you got some
alternative explanation?
No, and I sure tried.
All right, I'm gonna put you
in charge of communications...
until we can appoint
someone permanently.
I want you to pay particular attention
to the Ryker Satellite requirements.
That was the place where
the money was taken from.
Yes, sir.
And one more thing!
I want you to understand the Ryker satellite
is vital to our national defense.
It'll be your responsibility.
That'll be all.
I understand.
Do you realize you just said a loyal,
dedicated, honorable guy...
not only stole money but may also have
sabotaged a vital US. defense program?
The proof is right on that paper, pal.
I don't call this proof.
It's a piece of paper printed by
a machine that takes orders from men.
What you're saying is that
your friend is being framed.
Well, if he's framed, remember...
he was in charge of the computers
that printed that paper!
Other men could have
had access to it.
My old man always said, if something's
fishy, see who's casting bait.
Now if Canton's out,
who profits?
You mean Bell, his assistant,
gets a promotion?
Look, I'm not accusing him.
But it is a possibility.
I admire your loyalty
to friendship, Steve...
but you don't get Canton off
the hook by blaming Harold Bell.
Here, look at
his personnel record.
Clean.
Look, I know his record.
It's too good.
Outside of cheating on
a spelling exam in the fourth grade...
he's a candidate for sainthood.
I don't hire people
with bad records, Steve.
Well, I want to check the
complete memory core of the M-9.
Well, that's impossible.
There are hundreds of thousands
of data bits in that core.
It'll take forever.
Maybe not for me.
You just make sure
Bell is clear of the area.
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(BIONIC EYE SOUND EFFECT)
I hear that you burned out
our computer.
You know it costs almost
as much as you did.
Something sure burned it out.
What do you mean?
Well, I started getting a list of
phone lines coming into the Mark 9...
from terminals around the world,
22 of them.
I was getting what I think was
a 23rd when it blew up.
An illegal line?
I suppose there was one.
He computer was programmed to
self-destruct if anybody get near it.
Did you check with
the telephone company?
Yes, but it's hard to tell
with the damage that's been done.
But the numbers on the 22
legitimate lines check out.
And I've got a partial number
on what I think is the illegal one.
Nobody could feed a line
into our building here...
without checking with the
telephone company first.
That's right, and they would only cooperate
if they had had a direct order from O.S.I.
An inside job.
Fragments of the numbers I've got could
belong to any one of three computer users.
The Washington Chancellery Office
of the Catholic Church.
The Massachusetts
Institute of Technology.
Wait a minute,
that doesn't sound right.
Yeah, but there's also
an outfit called Datamate.
That's the one
I want to check out.
See you later.
(OMINOUS MUSIC)
(KNOCKS)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
This thing cost me
11 bucks at an auction...
but it still gets busted over your
head if you make one move!
I'm not moving.
Good, good.
Now I'm gonna call the police.
Just... not one move.
Put your hands up.
Do you always treat
your customers this way?
Mister, I'm not open for business...
and even if I was I don't care for
customers who break and enter.
The door was unlocked.
I just walked right in.
It's always locked.
Don't try it!
I was just gonna show you.
Operator, give me the police.
Did you...
No, I guess not.
Anyway, don't.
You know you're gonna look pretty silly
when the police arrive...
to find I walked into a public business
through an unlocked door.
You won't look so good
wearing this chair as a necklace.
Before you talk to the police...
you could save us both a lot of trouble
if you just check the lock.
All right.
Move over there.
Come on.
Over there.
I don't believe it.
You re-set the lock
after you broke in.
What? You see any evidence
of breaking and entering?
I mean, that's gonna
look pretty silly to the police.
You used a pick lock.
Come on, search me.
Look, I tell you I was just here
to ask about your service.
A guy who looks like you needing dates?
Come on!
I could be shy.
I could be the Empress of Iran.
I'll believe you if you'll believe me.
I don't know, I still think I'm gonna check you
out with the cops just to make sure.
Now wait just a minute.
I can explain.
I got the feeling this is gonna
be really good. Go ahead.
My name is Steve Austin.
I work for the government...
That's why you look familiar!
You're an astronaut, aren't you?
I was.
Now I work for another
government agency.
And if it was any of my business,
you'd tell me which one, right?
Right, and if you'll give me that weapon,
I'd just like to talk to you.
Do you mind me asking how long
you've been in this business?
I bought this company a couple of months
ago from a guy who couldn't make a go of it.
Between finishing up
on my former job...
and re-programming this thing with
the clients that have already resigned...
I haven't really started yet.
Why?
Your computer may be illegally tied in
to another computer by telephone lines.
Oh, no.
No, I've been working with it.
I would have picked up any outside lines
while I was running the test programs.
Yeah, but what if those lines were buried
where no one could find them?
Excuse me.
Do you believe in false modesty?
I guess not.
Good, good, 'cause neither do I.
You see, I happen to be one of the
absolute best computer modelers...
and programmers in the business.
In fact, I would say that I am the best,
but I don't know them all.
I wouldn't call that false modesty, no.
I can find out in two minutes if this machine
is hooked up to something out of line.
Come here.
(COMPUTER WHIRRING)
You were right.
We should call the power company and see
if there was a sudden surge on the line.
You won't find it there.
Second time in a day
that a machine's blown up...
when the wrong question
was asked.
Thanks very little!
You knew I was gonna blow this
computer and yet you let me go ahead.
No, I didn't know.
Look, I'm sorry.
(SIGHS)
I hocked everything but the
family jewels to buy this company.
I don't have any family jewels.
How bad is it damaged?
I don't know.
Maybe not too bad.
It's a good thing you're handy
with that fire extinguisher.
Let's see.
Maybe we can do a fix on this.
Could you track down any strange programs
or illegal entry into this machine?
Could you stand by
to put out any fires?
Sure.
I was kidding, sort of.
Now that I know that this thing bites,
I'm gonna train it with a whip and a chair.
Would be sort of nice if you
kind of hung around, though.
A company.
I'll go along with that.
Think we could get the janitor
to help us move this thing...
I'd like to get around to the back.
Maybe we won't need him.
Oh, not a chance.
This thing weighs too much.
Even the floor
had to be reinforced.
Oh, sometimes, if you exert
leverage in the right way...
You get a hernia.
Funny.
Move your plants.
Wait a minute.
What am I doing?
This is a total waste of time.
Do you always have this strange
power over beautiful brunette...
30...
28-year-old computer programmers?
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
How did you do that?
Well, like I said, leverage.
Say, tell me about the person
you bought this company from.
Cloche.
George Cloche.
Computer freak...
and generally freaky.
Thinks of himself as a real heart-throb.
Where can I find him?
Straight down the hall...
if he's in, which usually he isn't.
He rents the office.
Hey, do you think you could get me the
screwdriver in the desk, the third drawer?
Sure.
Thanks.
Why does he have an office
if he never uses it?
You did say screwdriver,
not tennis shoes?
Yeah, oh good,
you found the shoes.
I've been looking
for them all week.
Cloche, yeah, like I said,
he's real flakey.
Mostly in and out.
Usually comes in with
a phony excuse to get his mail.
What do you mean phony?
He hardly gets any, mostly ads.
Just comes in,
just as an excuse to date me.
I think I'll drop in on him.
I'd like to see him, too.
Because if he stiffed me on this computer,
rigging it to burn out...
well, I still have that chair
that I didn't use on you.
It did cost you 11 dollars.
You're right.
How long are you gonna
be working on this thing?
Hours, days, weeks, who knows?
I'll bring you something to eat.
You know you do have a strange
power over a beautiful, brunette...
28...
26-year-old computer programmer.
On the off chance I run into Cloche,
tell me what he looks like.
Lots of hair, beard,
too neat, too precise.
He dresses as if he hasn't
heard that sloppy was in.
Average height, medium build.
If you see a guy who looks like
he's playing a foreign diplomat...
in a late-night TV movie,
that's Cloche.
Oh, Emily, you're brazen,
shameless and calculating...
and I love you for it.
I hope he does.
(KNOCKS)
(TIRES SQUEAL)
STEVE:
I think I saw Cloche.
Could he have known me?
I don't know, I don't have any answers,
but I do have a question of my own.
The illegal phone line?
I don't know the answer to that.
The fire beat us to it.
I found an extra memory
core in the computer.
Now it's not part of what I bought with the
Datamate and it isn't related to the service.
What's in it?
I don't know.
I was just about to find out.
Nothing.
Names of clients and other data
are recorded on other cores.
Hold it!
J.C. 214 Union Street, Number 205.
What's that supposed to mean?
It's your computer.
None of the other entries
are in this form.
Now why should one entry appear
on a core that's already been wiped clean?
J.C., J.C.,
Joe Canton?
Doesn't mean anything to me.
One entry, sitting there like a sore thumb,
waiting to be noticed.
Sure would like to get in
on this conversation...
if you care to tell me
what you're talking about.
Somebody wanted
that item to be found.
Why?
To arouse interest, curiosity, to get you
or me or somebody to 214 Union Street.
A trap?
Probably.
Are you going?
Yes.
Me, too.
Nah, could be dangerous.
It's a free country.
You try and keep me away
from 214 Union Street.
All right, let's go.
I haven't had so much fun
since I busted my nose...
playing field hockey
in junior high school!
(HIGH-PITCHED WHIRRING)
(COMPUTER CLICKS)
Oh, I sure wish you'd do business
with people who set their traps...
in a more exclusive part of town.
It all checks out.
The building's empty.
So let her go!
There doesn't seem
to be much here.
Well, I think this might
be a government secret.
It says here World War II
is expected to end soon.
I knew about that.
You people who work for the government,
you're just in on everything, aren't you?
Come on, let's get out of here.
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
You all right?
Hold it! Hold it!
Are you out of your mind?
You nearly got us killed in there.
That building's condemned.
It's being demolished.
Where did you get your orders?
From my dispatcher.
How long ago?
When we got the wrong address
on the route sheet.
He called it in with the correction
by radio after we left the yard.
When?
Few minutes, maybe half hour.
Where's your work sheet?
What are you a cop or something?
Something.
427 Market Street, that's the building
you were supposed to knock down.
Yeah, yeah, that's what we had.
But apparently our computer caught
the error and corrected it.
You better check with your company.
Tell them they've got a computer
that lost its marbles.
They did what?!
What's the name?
Acme Wrecking.
All right, I'll see what I can
find out about it right away.
It's a computerized operation.
Anything connected with computers
lately has been bad luck.
I've got a hunch we've
only seen the beginning.
I'll see you later.
See what you can find out about
a computer at Acme Wrecking.
See if there's anything
unusual about it.
Yes, sir.
(PHONE RINGING)
Yes.
Right, this is Arnold T. Banner.
I'm Ms. Wilbur,
Washington-Federal Bank.
I just wanted to inform you
that your account has been opened.
What account is that?
The $100, 000 escrow account.
Now it's in your name but, of course,
the money won't be available...
until it's released by our
San Francisco Branch.
That's where you had it
deposited originally, I suppose.
Yes. Sure.
San Francisco.
Now you're entitled to a free safe
deposit box, free travelers' checks...
and membership in our VIP Club.
How nice.
Does it say anything
on the escrow account...
about when or where
the money will be released?
Um, something about
completion of transaction.
It doesn't say what transaction or when.
I'm sure we'll get the word
at the proper time.
Thank you for calling.
The Acme Wrecking Company
is a legitimate organization, Steve.
I have here the handwritten demolition
order with the Market Street address.
And, of course, they have no idea
who put in that substitution?
Could be a computer error.
Computers don't make errors.
People do.
If a machine is programmed wrong,
you're gonna get wrong answers.
Now, from what Steve has been telling me
and what I've been seeing myself...
somebody has deliberately made a master
computer do some very scary things.
Scary things, eh?
I understand that you're quite an
accomplished programmer yourself, Emily.
Mister, if that's your
cute way of hinting that...
I tried to get myself slapped around
by a wrecking ball...
there are ways of getting killed
that are a lot more laughs!
I'm not accusing you
of anything.
I'm just simply stating the fact
that your computer at Datamate...
was apparently tied in illegally
to a government machine.
Now as far as these scary things
that were happening...
they only began to happen when Colonel
Austin started investigating your company.
Datamate.
Is he for real?
Steve told you about Cloche.
Now, didn't it register?
We have checked every file in the
entire world including Interpol.
Nothing.
So he doesn't have a police record.
You know, not everybody does.
I don't.
We don't even know that he exists!
He doesn't have a Social Security number!
He doesn't have
a background or a history.
He doesn't even have a bank account
to receive the money...
that you said you paid him
when you bought Datamate!
I've got cancelled checks!
You could have endorsed them yourself.
Cloche could have a computer tied
from his office to the Datamate machine.
Why don't I check that out?
Steve, Steve, wait,
I'm going with you.
Because if I'm Cloche,
I want to be there when I confront me.
Good morning, Fowler.
Is the launch on schedule?
Yes, on-board computer is all set
to be re-programmed by us.
Is everything all right on your side?
Will be.
I need your help
in moving my computer.
Something's gone wrong!
Relax.
It's just a preventive measure.
Steve Austin is snooping.
He won't find anything.
If anybody finds out that I tempered with
the equipment in the satellite launch...
I could be in trouble until...
Pull yourself together, please!
Panic doesn't contribute
greatly to efficiency.
(KNOCKS ON DOOR)
JANITOR:
Nobody there.
What?
Office was cleaned out
this morning.
Cloche?
Porter Moving Company was here.
Took everything.
Any idea where?
Well, moving men
don't like to talk a lot.
They just grunt.
Hey, it's open.
Just like mine was open
when you got into Datamate, huh?
Would I lie?
Anything?
Nothing I can tell you about.
Sorry.
Now you think I'm The Spy
Who Went Out In The Cold?
Look, I do trust you,
I just can't tell you about this.
I'll see you later.
Don't forget your cloak and dagger!
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
Mr. Arnold Banner?
What is it?
Envelope.
You'll have to sign for it.
Well, give it to me.
(OMINOUS MUSIC)
This is the exact information that
Bell dug up on Acme Wrecking.
I know.
It was left out in the open where
someone would be sure to find it.
To frame Bell?
It was an obvious plant.
I didn't tell Emily because Bell
automatically comes under suspicion.
This is probably proof that Bell
is as pure as new-falling snow.
We'll still have to check him out,
though, Steve.
He's still working on the Ryker project
and you know how sensitive that is.
If Canton could be framed,
so could Bell.
What's important is who's really
stealing O.S.I. computer data.
The invisible Mr. Cloche.
He's a major threat
to national security.
With his control of computers,
like the one at Acme Wrecking...
he could arrange to kill anyone
who comes close to tracking him down.
Where's the computer?
How do I know?
It's gone!
I suppose Steve Austin took it?
Took it? Took it where?
How? Why?
I'll find out.
Come on, let's get out of here.
This place will be
swarming with security.
Drop those things!
(PHONE RINGS)
Datamate.
Hi!
Oh, you.
Hello.
I just wondered if I'd
accumulated any mail?
Uh-huh.
That doesn't sound too important.
I'll stop by when I get time.
How are things?
What's been happening?
Uh, nothing, nothing actually.
Things started out slow,
then got quiet...
now I'm working on dull.
Where are you?
Between stops.
Well, I'd sure welcome
some company.
Are you alone now?
Never more alone.
Why don't you come on over?
We can have a drink or dinner or...
I'd like that.
I'll see if I can clear
my schedule and call you back.
What's wrong?
I don't know.
But if the O.S.I. moved
that master computer...
they've got her
working for them, too.
Well, then we've gotta
call the plan off.
If somebody, probably O.S.I.,
has the computer.
That means they can control it.
We've worked too long
to give up now.
They'll know everything
we were going to do.
If the O.S.I. has it,
maybe I can get it back.
You take a taxi to Ryker
and wait.
Hmm?
OSCAR: What do you mean, you can't find
where the equipment was moved?
What kind of a moving
company is that anyway?
Get tough with them.
Let's get a court order on them.
Amazing.
The Porter people have absolutely
no record of any pickup at Cloche's office.
Needless to tell you,
their routing is done by computer.
(PHONE BUZZES)
Yeah.
Call for Colonel Austin on line one.
It's for you, Steve.
Colonel Austin.
Steve, I'm sorry.
I think I blew it.
Cloche called.
I was trying to get him
to come on over here.
Well, I think I came
on a bit too strong.
He's been trying
to date me for two months...
and when I finally played ready...
he just cooled off.
We've got some security people
on their way to your building.
If Cloche should show up,
just stall him.
Don't take chances.
He's dangerous.
Okay.
I sure would feel a lot safer
if you were here.
I'll see you in a little
while when I finish here.
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
Steve, there's somebody at the door.
Stay on the phone?
It might be him.
Come in!
I'm from O.S.I.
Oh, yeah, okay fine,
I'll be right with you.
It's okay, Steve.
It's one of your guys.
He's kind of good-looking.
If you're tied up,
just take your time.
I'll see you later, okay?
I'll be over a little later.
(HIGH-PITCHED WHIRRING)
No, no! There will be
no restrictions on his activities.
Right, good.
Joe Canton got back
from his vacation early.
What are you doing about it?
What am I doing about it?
I'm trusting him.
He's in the computer room now
catching up on everything.
I'm gonna go down and see him.
Okay.
Colonel Austin.
Harold, what's going on?
I heard Joe Canton was cleared.
I just wanted to tell you
how glad I am.
Yes, we all are.
Would you like a drink?
No, thank you.
Does that mean you've located
the stolen money?
Sit down.
I wish that we had, but no.
Well, I've been trying to
backtrack as you ordered.
Obviously, the line into
our computer has been...
tied into another computer
somewhere...
but I haven't found
any links to follow.
Well, you've done the best you can.
Have any of our other
departments found out anything...
about the computer we're after?
We're up against a blank wall.
Well, I'll keep working...
and put out the word I'm to be
informed should anything develop.
Hmm? Yes, do that.
Thank you very much.
Thank you, sir.
Okay, thank you very much.
Hello, Joe.
I owe you a big one.
Oh, forget it.
You went to bat for me.
I don't think I'd have believed in myself
with the evidence I saw.
Well, maybe I know you better.
It looks bad, real bad, Steve.
What the chances of backtracking
to whoever put up this stunt?
Whoever or whatever?
What do you mean?
Well, these are my babies.
I raised them, nursed them,
taught them everything they know.
And I love them.
But I gotta tell you something.
I'm scared of them.
If a pet elephant at the zoo...
were to go off its rocker
and attack its keeper...
now that wouldn't be news.
The computers are elephants?
A million times smarter,
a million times stronger.
And we still don't know just how
these mechanical brains function.
But they can't move around, Joe.
They got no legs.
More legs than a centipede, Steve.
They're tied into every telephone wire
that ties into any device...
hooked to any other computer.
I've had a few bumps today
that kind of shock me up...
but I still believe there
was a man behind it.
Probably.
Maybe I've been working
too long with these things.
I'm dreaming up nightmares.
But I can tell you, it'd be a lot easier
dealing with an evil man...
than a master computer
that's gone amok.
Tell me something.
Are you the kind of guy that would
bring wine with fish and chips?
I beg your pardon?
You're not.
Forget it.
Everybody out, please, right now.
We're clearing the building.
Why?
There's been a report that a bomb has been
planted somewhere in one of the offices.
Okay, miss.
We gotta get out of here, fast.
Right, as soon as I make
one phone call to Steve Austin.
Miss, didn't you hear the policeman?
He said right now.
Right now. Right now as soon
as I finish this phone call.
Steve Austin, please.
(HIGH-PITCHED WHIRRING)
Emily, it may be a hoax
but don't take any chances.
Clear out.
Then you won't get to see me.
I'll manage.
I won't be here.
Unless, of course, you want to
meet me at my apartment later.
What is it?
Martine Apartments,
1987 Havenhurst.
Apartment 804.
Colonel Austin?
Who are you?
Doesn't matter.
Go up the stairs, please?
Look, I never saw you before in my life
and you shove a gun at me.
Why? Robbery?
No. Move.
Well, what then?
It wouldn't do you
any good if I told you.
Come on.
What are you, some kind of a hitman?
Right.
Who hired you?
I don't know.
It doesn't really make any
difference anyway, Colonel?
The important thing is...
is to do a good job.
(END THEME MUSIC)
It looks good at NASA One.
B-52 >PILOT:
Roger.
BCS Arm switch is on.
FLIGHT COM:
Okay, Victor.
B-52 PILOT: Landing Rocket Arm switch
is on. Here comes the throttle.
Circuit breakers in.
STEVE:
We have separation.
B-52 PILOT:
Inboard and outboards are on.
I'm comin' forward with the side stick.
FLIGHT COM:
Looks good.
PILOT:
Ah, Roger.
STEVE:
I've got a blowout in damper three.
SR-71 PILOT:
Get your pitch to zero.
STEVE:
Pitch is out. I can't hold altitude!
B-52 PILOT: Correction. Alpha Hold is oil“.
Threat selector is emergency.
STEVE: Flight Com. I can't hold it!
She's breaking up! She's breaking...
ANNOUNCER:
Steve Austin. Astronaut.
A man barely alive.
Gentlemen, we can rebuild him.
We have the technology.
We have the capability
to make the world's first bionic man.
Steve Austin will be that man.
Better than he was before.
Better, stronger, faster.
(MAIN TITLE THEME)
(OMINOUS MUSIC)
You know, a man could get
jealous of that computer.
It's a very good instrument.
I never felt that way about it
when it was mine.
Well, I suppose
that's why you sold it.
It likes its new owner.
Lucky computer.
(SIGHS)
You've got some mail
over there on the counter.
Could I ask you a question?
Would you tell me
why you get your mail here...
when you have your
own office down the hall?
I like to maintain
a personal touch.
You ready to
take me up on my offer?
You mean about dinner?
And all the trimmings.
That covers an awful lot of fine print.
You see, I bought this from you.
I happen to know
how you can trim a girl.
Well, I'd sure like to try.
Sorry, not tonight.
I'm sitting up with a sick friend.
Got a little trouble
with my Beta input.
Well, I have a few calls to make.
I'll try you again on the way out.
I'm no quitter.
Now that's the kind of spirit
that made this country great.
(HIGH-PITCHED WHIRRING)
Who's using Mark 9?
You got me.
I didn't know it was scheduled.
Neither did I.
That's kind of freaky.
Who...
Never mind who.
What?
OSCAR: The security of the O.S.I.
has been breached.
Who knows how many national defense
secrets have been compromised.
No, no, don't put him under arrest!
Just keep him under surveillance
at that winter resort.
That's right.
Find out who he sees, where he goes,
telephone calls, everything.
Thank you.
Joe Canton stole
a half a million dollars?
You gotta be kidding.
You don't believe that.
I'd like to think that money
was all he stole.
Oscar, Joe is no thief.
Steve, as our communication chief,
he was in charge of all computers...
including budget items and funds.
When we found out that the money was
stolen, we tracked it through computers...
through five banks,
three dummy corporations...
and a laundering operation
that was pure genius.
It was all done by
your friend Joe Canton.
(PHONE BUZZES)
Yes.
Harold Bell is here,
Mr. Goldman.
Send him in.
I know what you're gonna say.
You're gonna say
it was a computer error.
Let me tell you, we all started out
thinking it was a computer error.
But it wasn't!
(DOOR OPENS)
What do you got, Harold?
I can't believe it.
Joe Canton?
I'd sooner believe I ripped off O.S.I.
Have you got some
alternative explanation?
No, and I sure tried.
All right, I'm gonna put you
in charge of communications...
until we can appoint
someone permanently.
I want you to pay particular attention
to the Ryker Satellite requirements.
That was the place where
the money was taken from.
Yes, sir.
And one more thing!
I want you to understand the Ryker satellite
is vital to our national defense.
It'll be your responsibility.
That'll be all.
I understand.
Do you realize you just said a loyal,
dedicated, honorable guy...
not only stole money but may also have
sabotaged a vital US. defense program?
The proof is right on that paper, pal.
I don't call this proof.
It's a piece of paper printed by
a machine that takes orders from men.
What you're saying is that
your friend is being framed.
Well, if he's framed, remember...
he was in charge of the computers
that printed that paper!
Other men could have
had access to it.
My old man always said, if something's
fishy, see who's casting bait.
Now if Canton's out,
who profits?
You mean Bell, his assistant,
gets a promotion?
Look, I'm not accusing him.
But it is a possibility.
I admire your loyalty
to friendship, Steve...
but you don't get Canton off
the hook by blaming Harold Bell.
Here, look at
his personnel record.
Clean.
Look, I know his record.
It's too good.
Outside of cheating on
a spelling exam in the fourth grade...
he's a candidate for sainthood.
I don't hire people
with bad records, Steve.
Well, I want to check the
complete memory core of the M-9.
Well, that's impossible.
There are hundreds of thousands
of data bits in that core.
It'll take forever.
Maybe not for me.
You just make sure
Bell is clear of the area.
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(BIONIC EYE SOUND EFFECT)
I hear that you burned out
our computer.
You know it costs almost
as much as you did.
Something sure burned it out.
What do you mean?
Well, I started getting a list of
phone lines coming into the Mark 9...
from terminals around the world,
22 of them.
I was getting what I think was
a 23rd when it blew up.
An illegal line?
I suppose there was one.
He computer was programmed to
self-destruct if anybody get near it.
Did you check with
the telephone company?
Yes, but it's hard to tell
with the damage that's been done.
But the numbers on the 22
legitimate lines check out.
And I've got a partial number
on what I think is the illegal one.
Nobody could feed a line
into our building here...
without checking with the
telephone company first.
That's right, and they would only cooperate
if they had had a direct order from O.S.I.
An inside job.
Fragments of the numbers I've got could
belong to any one of three computer users.
The Washington Chancellery Office
of the Catholic Church.
The Massachusetts
Institute of Technology.
Wait a minute,
that doesn't sound right.
Yeah, but there's also
an outfit called Datamate.
That's the one
I want to check out.
See you later.
(OMINOUS MUSIC)
(KNOCKS)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
This thing cost me
11 bucks at an auction...
but it still gets busted over your
head if you make one move!
I'm not moving.
Good, good.
Now I'm gonna call the police.
Just... not one move.
Put your hands up.
Do you always treat
your customers this way?
Mister, I'm not open for business...
and even if I was I don't care for
customers who break and enter.
The door was unlocked.
I just walked right in.
It's always locked.
Don't try it!
I was just gonna show you.
Operator, give me the police.
Did you...
No, I guess not.
Anyway, don't.
You know you're gonna look pretty silly
when the police arrive...
to find I walked into a public business
through an unlocked door.
You won't look so good
wearing this chair as a necklace.
Before you talk to the police...
you could save us both a lot of trouble
if you just check the lock.
All right.
Move over there.
Come on.
Over there.
I don't believe it.
You re-set the lock
after you broke in.
What? You see any evidence
of breaking and entering?
I mean, that's gonna
look pretty silly to the police.
You used a pick lock.
Come on, search me.
Look, I tell you I was just here
to ask about your service.
A guy who looks like you needing dates?
Come on!
I could be shy.
I could be the Empress of Iran.
I'll believe you if you'll believe me.
I don't know, I still think I'm gonna check you
out with the cops just to make sure.
Now wait just a minute.
I can explain.
I got the feeling this is gonna
be really good. Go ahead.
My name is Steve Austin.
I work for the government...
That's why you look familiar!
You're an astronaut, aren't you?
I was.
Now I work for another
government agency.
And if it was any of my business,
you'd tell me which one, right?
Right, and if you'll give me that weapon,
I'd just like to talk to you.
Do you mind me asking how long
you've been in this business?
I bought this company a couple of months
ago from a guy who couldn't make a go of it.
Between finishing up
on my former job...
and re-programming this thing with
the clients that have already resigned...
I haven't really started yet.
Why?
Your computer may be illegally tied in
to another computer by telephone lines.
Oh, no.
No, I've been working with it.
I would have picked up any outside lines
while I was running the test programs.
Yeah, but what if those lines were buried
where no one could find them?
Excuse me.
Do you believe in false modesty?
I guess not.
Good, good, 'cause neither do I.
You see, I happen to be one of the
absolute best computer modelers...
and programmers in the business.
In fact, I would say that I am the best,
but I don't know them all.
I wouldn't call that false modesty, no.
I can find out in two minutes if this machine
is hooked up to something out of line.
Come here.
(COMPUTER WHIRRING)
You were right.
We should call the power company and see
if there was a sudden surge on the line.
You won't find it there.
Second time in a day
that a machine's blown up...
when the wrong question
was asked.
Thanks very little!
You knew I was gonna blow this
computer and yet you let me go ahead.
No, I didn't know.
Look, I'm sorry.
(SIGHS)
I hocked everything but the
family jewels to buy this company.
I don't have any family jewels.
How bad is it damaged?
I don't know.
Maybe not too bad.
It's a good thing you're handy
with that fire extinguisher.
Let's see.
Maybe we can do a fix on this.
Could you track down any strange programs
or illegal entry into this machine?
Could you stand by
to put out any fires?
Sure.
I was kidding, sort of.
Now that I know that this thing bites,
I'm gonna train it with a whip and a chair.
Would be sort of nice if you
kind of hung around, though.
A company.
I'll go along with that.
Think we could get the janitor
to help us move this thing...
I'd like to get around to the back.
Maybe we won't need him.
Oh, not a chance.
This thing weighs too much.
Even the floor
had to be reinforced.
Oh, sometimes, if you exert
leverage in the right way...
You get a hernia.
Funny.
Move your plants.
Wait a minute.
What am I doing?
This is a total waste of time.
Do you always have this strange
power over beautiful brunette...
30...
28-year-old computer programmers?
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
How did you do that?
Well, like I said, leverage.
Say, tell me about the person
you bought this company from.
Cloche.
George Cloche.
Computer freak...
and generally freaky.
Thinks of himself as a real heart-throb.
Where can I find him?
Straight down the hall...
if he's in, which usually he isn't.
He rents the office.
Hey, do you think you could get me the
screwdriver in the desk, the third drawer?
Sure.
Thanks.
Why does he have an office
if he never uses it?
You did say screwdriver,
not tennis shoes?
Yeah, oh good,
you found the shoes.
I've been looking
for them all week.
Cloche, yeah, like I said,
he's real flakey.
Mostly in and out.
Usually comes in with
a phony excuse to get his mail.
What do you mean phony?
He hardly gets any, mostly ads.
Just comes in,
just as an excuse to date me.
I think I'll drop in on him.
I'd like to see him, too.
Because if he stiffed me on this computer,
rigging it to burn out...
well, I still have that chair
that I didn't use on you.
It did cost you 11 dollars.
You're right.
How long are you gonna
be working on this thing?
Hours, days, weeks, who knows?
I'll bring you something to eat.
You know you do have a strange
power over a beautiful, brunette...
28...
26-year-old computer programmer.
On the off chance I run into Cloche,
tell me what he looks like.
Lots of hair, beard,
too neat, too precise.
He dresses as if he hasn't
heard that sloppy was in.
Average height, medium build.
If you see a guy who looks like
he's playing a foreign diplomat...
in a late-night TV movie,
that's Cloche.
Oh, Emily, you're brazen,
shameless and calculating...
and I love you for it.
I hope he does.
(KNOCKS)
(TIRES SQUEAL)
STEVE:
I think I saw Cloche.
Could he have known me?
I don't know, I don't have any answers,
but I do have a question of my own.
The illegal phone line?
I don't know the answer to that.
The fire beat us to it.
I found an extra memory
core in the computer.
Now it's not part of what I bought with the
Datamate and it isn't related to the service.
What's in it?
I don't know.
I was just about to find out.
Nothing.
Names of clients and other data
are recorded on other cores.
Hold it!
J.C. 214 Union Street, Number 205.
What's that supposed to mean?
It's your computer.
None of the other entries
are in this form.
Now why should one entry appear
on a core that's already been wiped clean?
J.C., J.C.,
Joe Canton?
Doesn't mean anything to me.
One entry, sitting there like a sore thumb,
waiting to be noticed.
Sure would like to get in
on this conversation...
if you care to tell me
what you're talking about.
Somebody wanted
that item to be found.
Why?
To arouse interest, curiosity, to get you
or me or somebody to 214 Union Street.
A trap?
Probably.
Are you going?
Yes.
Me, too.
Nah, could be dangerous.
It's a free country.
You try and keep me away
from 214 Union Street.
All right, let's go.
I haven't had so much fun
since I busted my nose...
playing field hockey
in junior high school!
(HIGH-PITCHED WHIRRING)
(COMPUTER CLICKS)
Oh, I sure wish you'd do business
with people who set their traps...
in a more exclusive part of town.
It all checks out.
The building's empty.
So let her go!
There doesn't seem
to be much here.
Well, I think this might
be a government secret.
It says here World War II
is expected to end soon.
I knew about that.
You people who work for the government,
you're just in on everything, aren't you?
Come on, let's get out of here.
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
You all right?
Hold it! Hold it!
Are you out of your mind?
You nearly got us killed in there.
That building's condemned.
It's being demolished.
Where did you get your orders?
From my dispatcher.
How long ago?
When we got the wrong address
on the route sheet.
He called it in with the correction
by radio after we left the yard.
When?
Few minutes, maybe half hour.
Where's your work sheet?
What are you a cop or something?
Something.
427 Market Street, that's the building
you were supposed to knock down.
Yeah, yeah, that's what we had.
But apparently our computer caught
the error and corrected it.
You better check with your company.
Tell them they've got a computer
that lost its marbles.
They did what?!
What's the name?
Acme Wrecking.
All right, I'll see what I can
find out about it right away.
It's a computerized operation.
Anything connected with computers
lately has been bad luck.
I've got a hunch we've
only seen the beginning.
I'll see you later.
See what you can find out about
a computer at Acme Wrecking.
See if there's anything
unusual about it.
Yes, sir.
(PHONE RINGING)
Yes.
Right, this is Arnold T. Banner.
I'm Ms. Wilbur,
Washington-Federal Bank.
I just wanted to inform you
that your account has been opened.
What account is that?
The $100, 000 escrow account.
Now it's in your name but, of course,
the money won't be available...
until it's released by our
San Francisco Branch.
That's where you had it
deposited originally, I suppose.
Yes. Sure.
San Francisco.
Now you're entitled to a free safe
deposit box, free travelers' checks...
and membership in our VIP Club.
How nice.
Does it say anything
on the escrow account...
about when or where
the money will be released?
Um, something about
completion of transaction.
It doesn't say what transaction or when.
I'm sure we'll get the word
at the proper time.
Thank you for calling.
The Acme Wrecking Company
is a legitimate organization, Steve.
I have here the handwritten demolition
order with the Market Street address.
And, of course, they have no idea
who put in that substitution?
Could be a computer error.
Computers don't make errors.
People do.
If a machine is programmed wrong,
you're gonna get wrong answers.
Now, from what Steve has been telling me
and what I've been seeing myself...
somebody has deliberately made a master
computer do some very scary things.
Scary things, eh?
I understand that you're quite an
accomplished programmer yourself, Emily.
Mister, if that's your
cute way of hinting that...
I tried to get myself slapped around
by a wrecking ball...
there are ways of getting killed
that are a lot more laughs!
I'm not accusing you
of anything.
I'm just simply stating the fact
that your computer at Datamate...
was apparently tied in illegally
to a government machine.
Now as far as these scary things
that were happening...
they only began to happen when Colonel
Austin started investigating your company.
Datamate.
Is he for real?
Steve told you about Cloche.
Now, didn't it register?
We have checked every file in the
entire world including Interpol.
Nothing.
So he doesn't have a police record.
You know, not everybody does.
I don't.
We don't even know that he exists!
He doesn't have a Social Security number!
He doesn't have
a background or a history.
He doesn't even have a bank account
to receive the money...
that you said you paid him
when you bought Datamate!
I've got cancelled checks!
You could have endorsed them yourself.
Cloche could have a computer tied
from his office to the Datamate machine.
Why don't I check that out?
Steve, Steve, wait,
I'm going with you.
Because if I'm Cloche,
I want to be there when I confront me.
Good morning, Fowler.
Is the launch on schedule?
Yes, on-board computer is all set
to be re-programmed by us.
Is everything all right on your side?
Will be.
I need your help
in moving my computer.
Something's gone wrong!
Relax.
It's just a preventive measure.
Steve Austin is snooping.
He won't find anything.
If anybody finds out that I tempered with
the equipment in the satellite launch...
I could be in trouble until...
Pull yourself together, please!
Panic doesn't contribute
greatly to efficiency.
(KNOCKS ON DOOR)
JANITOR:
Nobody there.
What?
Office was cleaned out
this morning.
Cloche?
Porter Moving Company was here.
Took everything.
Any idea where?
Well, moving men
don't like to talk a lot.
They just grunt.
Hey, it's open.
Just like mine was open
when you got into Datamate, huh?
Would I lie?
Anything?
Nothing I can tell you about.
Sorry.
Now you think I'm The Spy
Who Went Out In The Cold?
Look, I do trust you,
I just can't tell you about this.
I'll see you later.
Don't forget your cloak and dagger!
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
Mr. Arnold Banner?
What is it?
Envelope.
You'll have to sign for it.
Well, give it to me.
(OMINOUS MUSIC)
This is the exact information that
Bell dug up on Acme Wrecking.
I know.
It was left out in the open where
someone would be sure to find it.
To frame Bell?
It was an obvious plant.
I didn't tell Emily because Bell
automatically comes under suspicion.
This is probably proof that Bell
is as pure as new-falling snow.
We'll still have to check him out,
though, Steve.
He's still working on the Ryker project
and you know how sensitive that is.
If Canton could be framed,
so could Bell.
What's important is who's really
stealing O.S.I. computer data.
The invisible Mr. Cloche.
He's a major threat
to national security.
With his control of computers,
like the one at Acme Wrecking...
he could arrange to kill anyone
who comes close to tracking him down.
Where's the computer?
How do I know?
It's gone!
I suppose Steve Austin took it?
Took it? Took it where?
How? Why?
I'll find out.
Come on, let's get out of here.
This place will be
swarming with security.
Drop those things!
(PHONE RINGS)
Datamate.
Hi!
Oh, you.
Hello.
I just wondered if I'd
accumulated any mail?
Uh-huh.
That doesn't sound too important.
I'll stop by when I get time.
How are things?
What's been happening?
Uh, nothing, nothing actually.
Things started out slow,
then got quiet...
now I'm working on dull.
Where are you?
Between stops.
Well, I'd sure welcome
some company.
Are you alone now?
Never more alone.
Why don't you come on over?
We can have a drink or dinner or...
I'd like that.
I'll see if I can clear
my schedule and call you back.
What's wrong?
I don't know.
But if the O.S.I. moved
that master computer...
they've got her
working for them, too.
Well, then we've gotta
call the plan off.
If somebody, probably O.S.I.,
has the computer.
That means they can control it.
We've worked too long
to give up now.
They'll know everything
we were going to do.
If the O.S.I. has it,
maybe I can get it back.
You take a taxi to Ryker
and wait.
Hmm?
OSCAR: What do you mean, you can't find
where the equipment was moved?
What kind of a moving
company is that anyway?
Get tough with them.
Let's get a court order on them.
Amazing.
The Porter people have absolutely
no record of any pickup at Cloche's office.
Needless to tell you,
their routing is done by computer.
(PHONE BUZZES)
Yeah.
Call for Colonel Austin on line one.
It's for you, Steve.
Colonel Austin.
Steve, I'm sorry.
I think I blew it.
Cloche called.
I was trying to get him
to come on over here.
Well, I think I came
on a bit too strong.
He's been trying
to date me for two months...
and when I finally played ready...
he just cooled off.
We've got some security people
on their way to your building.
If Cloche should show up,
just stall him.
Don't take chances.
He's dangerous.
Okay.
I sure would feel a lot safer
if you were here.
I'll see you in a little
while when I finish here.
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
Steve, there's somebody at the door.
Stay on the phone?
It might be him.
Come in!
I'm from O.S.I.
Oh, yeah, okay fine,
I'll be right with you.
It's okay, Steve.
It's one of your guys.
He's kind of good-looking.
If you're tied up,
just take your time.
I'll see you later, okay?
I'll be over a little later.
(HIGH-PITCHED WHIRRING)
No, no! There will be
no restrictions on his activities.
Right, good.
Joe Canton got back
from his vacation early.
What are you doing about it?
What am I doing about it?
I'm trusting him.
He's in the computer room now
catching up on everything.
I'm gonna go down and see him.
Okay.
Colonel Austin.
Harold, what's going on?
I heard Joe Canton was cleared.
I just wanted to tell you
how glad I am.
Yes, we all are.
Would you like a drink?
No, thank you.
Does that mean you've located
the stolen money?
Sit down.
I wish that we had, but no.
Well, I've been trying to
backtrack as you ordered.
Obviously, the line into
our computer has been...
tied into another computer
somewhere...
but I haven't found
any links to follow.
Well, you've done the best you can.
Have any of our other
departments found out anything...
about the computer we're after?
We're up against a blank wall.
Well, I'll keep working...
and put out the word I'm to be
informed should anything develop.
Hmm? Yes, do that.
Thank you very much.
Thank you, sir.
Okay, thank you very much.
Hello, Joe.
I owe you a big one.
Oh, forget it.
You went to bat for me.
I don't think I'd have believed in myself
with the evidence I saw.
Well, maybe I know you better.
It looks bad, real bad, Steve.
What the chances of backtracking
to whoever put up this stunt?
Whoever or whatever?
What do you mean?
Well, these are my babies.
I raised them, nursed them,
taught them everything they know.
And I love them.
But I gotta tell you something.
I'm scared of them.
If a pet elephant at the zoo...
were to go off its rocker
and attack its keeper...
now that wouldn't be news.
The computers are elephants?
A million times smarter,
a million times stronger.
And we still don't know just how
these mechanical brains function.
But they can't move around, Joe.
They got no legs.
More legs than a centipede, Steve.
They're tied into every telephone wire
that ties into any device...
hooked to any other computer.
I've had a few bumps today
that kind of shock me up...
but I still believe there
was a man behind it.
Probably.
Maybe I've been working
too long with these things.
I'm dreaming up nightmares.
But I can tell you, it'd be a lot easier
dealing with an evil man...
than a master computer
that's gone amok.
Tell me something.
Are you the kind of guy that would
bring wine with fish and chips?
I beg your pardon?
You're not.
Forget it.
Everybody out, please, right now.
We're clearing the building.
Why?
There's been a report that a bomb has been
planted somewhere in one of the offices.
Okay, miss.
We gotta get out of here, fast.
Right, as soon as I make
one phone call to Steve Austin.
Miss, didn't you hear the policeman?
He said right now.
Right now. Right now as soon
as I finish this phone call.
Steve Austin, please.
(HIGH-PITCHED WHIRRING)
Emily, it may be a hoax
but don't take any chances.
Clear out.
Then you won't get to see me.
I'll manage.
I won't be here.
Unless, of course, you want to
meet me at my apartment later.
What is it?
Martine Apartments,
1987 Havenhurst.
Apartment 804.
Colonel Austin?
Who are you?
Doesn't matter.
Go up the stairs, please?
Look, I never saw you before in my life
and you shove a gun at me.
Why? Robbery?
No. Move.
Well, what then?
It wouldn't do you
any good if I told you.
Come on.
What are you, some kind of a hitman?
Right.
Who hired you?
I don't know.
It doesn't really make any
difference anyway, Colonel?
The important thing is...
is to do a good job.
(END THEME MUSIC)