The Six Million Dollar Man (1974–1978): Season 4, Episode 22 - Ghostly Teletype - full transcript

(EERIE WHIRR)

Hi.

Hello, Oscar.

Been a long day.

You can say that again.

You about through?

Yeah. For now.

In a day or so, I may begin to
understand what Brenner's doing.

Thank you.

Hand me Brenner's work sheet
and formula breakdown there.

Okay.



Steve?

What in the world is this?

Miller?
Yes, sir.

Anybody else been in here
with Colonel Austin today?

No, sir.
Not until you came in.

Thank you.

I'm going to have to explain
to the Secretary...

that somebody walked
into this guarded room...

removed a top secret document,
replaced it with a blank piece of paper...

walked out,
and you didn't notice anything.

FLIGHT COM:
It looks good at NASA One.

B- 52 >PILOT:
Roger.

BCS Arm switch is on.

FLIGHT COM:
Okay, Victor.



B-52 PILOT:
Landing Rocket Arm switch is on.
Here comes the throttle.

Circuit breakers in.

STEVE:
We have separation.

B-52 PILOT:
Inboard and outboards are on.

I'm comin' forward with the side stick.

FLIGHT COM:
Looks good.

PILOT:
Ah, Roger.

STEVE:
I've got a blowout in damper three.

SR-71 PILOT:
Get your pitch to zero.

STEVE:
Pitch is out. I can't hold altitude!

B-52 PILOT: Correction. Alpha Hold is oil“.
Threat selector is emergency.

STEVE: Flight Com. I can't hold it!
She's breaking up! She's breaking...

ANNOUNCER:
Steve Austin. Astronaut.

A man barely alive.

Gentlemen, we can rebuild him.

We have the technology.

We have the capability
to make the world's first bionic man.

Steve Austin will be that man.

Better than he was before.

Better, stronger, faster.

(MAIN TITLE THEME)

Well?

You've been temporarily suspended.

What about the lab report
on that blank piece of paper?

Relax, pal. It'll take a little while
before I get the lab tests back.

Meanwhile, we're just sitting around.

Nobody's sitting around.

Look, I wanna leave for Santa Monica.
I want to talk to Dr. Brenner.

Dr. Brenner is on his way to Washington.

He should arrive within the hour.

You mean the Board of Inquiry actually
thinks I stole that piece of paper?

You were searched, Steve.
And nobody found the paper on you.

Nobody can accuse you of anything.

Which means they think I did it,
but they just can't figure out how.

(RESTAURANT CHATTER)

Is this your card?
Five of spades?

Nope. You owe me a beer.

No, you owe me a beer.

For what? You didn't do anything.

Just take out your wallet,
pay the bartender...

and while you've got your wallet out,
you might find your card.

My card's the queen of hearts.

This is the 5 of spades again.

Again? Now how about that beer?

Okay.

I see you at another show, folks.

You working for drinks these days?

Hey, Steve. How are you?
How'd you find me here?

I checked the theater
across the street.

They said you spend most
of your time doing shows here.

Well, haven't bought a drink in five years.

This bar is sort of my road company.

I try all my new bits here.

What's the latest?

Nothing as big as your trick.
I'll never walk on the moon.

Yeah, I wish I’d stayed there.

I heard about your problem.

Newspapers play it up pretty big.

"Astronaut Under Suspicion
of Espionage"?

What can I do for you?

Well, you can tell me how somebody can
steal a file right out from under my nose...

without coming in the room.

Probably a hundred different ways.

Oscar's got a psychic working on it.

He figures if I didn't do it, there's gotta
be some unnatural forces at work.

Unnatural forces?

Pick a card.

(DOOR OPENS, CLOSES)

Anything?

The paper wasn't substituted.

You see, this is the original file...

and we were able to raise
a latent image on it.

That's great, Bill. Just great.

At least you know Colonel Austin didn't
permit the file to leave the security room.

But who would want to erase the ink?

What good would it do to them anyway?

Watch the coin, Steve.

See, most magic is
based on misdirection.

But I was alone in the room.

Did the guard bring you
in the room originally?

Yes.

And wasn't Oscar in
the room with you also?

Of course.
There you have it.

There's two other people that were in the
room you were supposed to be alone in.

Hey, is anybody in here
named Austin?

That's funny. I didn't even know
myself I was coming here.

Hello.

Steve, we got the lab reports.

How'd you know where I was?

Never mind about that.

You've been having me followed.

I really am in trouble.

I calling to tell you that the paper
with Brenner's formula on it...

never left the room.

Somehow, the ink was removed.

Oscar, I gotta talk to Dr. Brenner.
Where can I find him?

I'm sorry, Steve. After what's happened,
that information is classified.

Thanks. Call me again when
you get some more good news.

(DIAL TONE)

Well, I was wrong.
The file wasn't stolen from the room.

The ink was stolen from the paper.

Hmm.

And now everyone is convinced
the spirit world is at work.

Well, what else are they gonna think?
Either that, or I did it.

Steve, see that five?

Watch the center pit.

See, that's how someone
made that ink disappear.

It was a trick.

Everything's a trick.
Now what can I do for you?

I've gotta get Oscar to tell me
where I can find a man named Brenner.

Excuse me, Mr. Goldman.

I'm looking for Colonel Steve Austin.
I'm an old friend of his.

Oh, well, if you leave your name
and phone number with my secretary...

I'll have Colonel Austin call you.

Terribly warm in here,
isn't it, Mr. Goldman?

I hadn't noticed.

Oh, excuse me. You again.

My office is in that direction.

I realize that, sir,
but we spoke of the heat?

Yes.

And suddenly, I got very thirsty.

Suggestion is a powerful force,
don't you agree, Mr. Goldman?

Did you find out anything?

Yeah.

He didn't catch you on anything?

You kidding? You know I do the best
pick-pocket act in show business.

Of course, I had to do it to him twice.
Second time I returned his pad.

Dr. Brenner is at the
O.S.I. Elmville facility.

Thanks.

(BIONIC EYE SOUND EFFECT)

(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)

(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)

(CIRCUIT CLICKING)

That's nonsense, and you know it!

Dr. Brenner?

I don't like machines telling me
something can't be done!

Dr. Brenner?

Who are you?
And how did you get in here?

I'm Steve Austin.

Oh, yes. Yes, I read about you.

(KNOCKING)

Uh, pardon me.

Sorry to bother you, Dr. Brenner.

We just wanted to make sure
that you were all right.

And why wouldn't I be?

GUARD: We have a feeling someone might
have gotten past our security, tonight.

Have you seen or heard anyone?

I appreciate your concern, but I gave
strict orders not to be disturbed.

And that applies both to
guards and intruders.

(CHUCKLES)
It will take him a while to 'figure that out.

Thanks for not telling him.

I owe you that much.

I somehow feel my work is more or less
the cause of your troubles.

Just what is your work,
Dr. Brenner?

Simple biochemistry.

I'm working on a process
to slow down the aging of cells.

Have you been successful?

Very close.

In about fifty years, we'll be able to extend
the life cycle of the human animal...

to between a 120 and a 150 years.

I thought you said you were close.

(LAUGHS)

Colonel Austin, you are a man of action.

You are used to results now.

What I don't understand,
is why all the security around a process...

that won't even be effective
for half a century.

My lab in Santa Monica was broken into
twice, and my early notes were stolen.

Other strange things have happened.

So the O.S.I. recalled me
to Washington for a debriefing.

Have you brought your
work sheets with you?

They're back in Santa Monica.

But they're in my private code.

They'd be useless to anyone else.

Dr. Brenner,
you understand the trouble I'm in.

I'd like your permission
to check your lab out carefully.

Certainly, Colonel Austin.

I have the keys here, somewhere.

You keep hearing about
absent-minded professors, hmm?

I grant you the freedom of my laboratory.

And from what I've seen, you obviously
don't worry too much about keys.

Watch very closely.

Take the napkin.
Tear it up in shreds.

Like this, all right?
Roll 'em all up in a ball.

Okay, now you blow.

Very good, now watch.

(LAUGHS)

Don't ever tell anybody
how you did that.

You get a chance to talk to Brenner?

I'm leaving for California
to check out his lab.

I thought maybe...
No. No.

I'm not gonna go with you.

But if you find anything that needs
any explanation, feel free to call me.

Thanks.

Steve, remember.

Everything has a perfectly
natural explanation.

Right?

(BIRD coos)

(JET ENGINES ROAR)

(TIRES SCREECH)

(DOG BARKING)

(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)

(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT,
LOCK BREAKS)

MAN: Hey! You up there!

What do you think you're doing?

I lost my keys.

This your house?

Of course.

What's your name?

Brenner. Dr. Arnold Brenner.

I live here.

You got identification?

Naturally.

Throw it down.

I don't know if I can.
If I let go with one hand, I...

I said, throw it down.

Sorry.

You're sure gonna be.

It's okay. I'll get it.

Hold it!

Just hold it right there.

(ELECTRONIC HUMMING)

MAN: Where is Brenner?

I told you, I am Dr. Brenner.

I'll ask you again, Colonel Austin.

Where is Brenner?

Maybe you'd better come down.

I don't know if I can.
I'm starting to get a little dizzy.

Do your best.

If you fall, I'll catch you.

Hey, mister, will you throw
my ball for me?

Mama!

Come down, Colonel Austin!

Or I'll bring you down
like a partridge.

Come on.

(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)

(METAL CREAKING)

SMALL BOY: There he is, mama!
He kicked my ball!

Lady, it was him!
He did it! He did it!

(TIRES SCREECH)

(TIRES SCREECH)

WOMAN'S VOICE: Who wants
to see Madame Marka?

Someone in trouble.

Madame Marka never sends
away a person in trouble.

Enter.

Madame Marka?

What is it that you want?
To contact a loved one?

To know the future?

Advice on a job?

I'm not sure why I came.

If I weren't so desperate...

You don't have to tell me.

Won't you please sit down?

I think I made a mistake.
Sorry to have bothered you.

I didn't say I couldn't be of any help.

I see you are an intelligent man.

And I apologize for the gaudy show.

Thanks for not wasting my time.

My problems are real, not emotional.

They're can't be solved by electrical
or psychological tricks.

Forgive me for the halo trick.

It's unfortunate, but the real thing
is rarely impressive.

I occasionally resort to
phony trappings...

to impress those who find things like...

(CHUCKLES)
auras necessary...

Colonel Austin.

Okay, so you know my name,
but I'm not completely unknown.

My picture has been
in the papers.

You are in trouble with your government.

Some papers entrusted
to you have disappeared.

That's been in the papers, too,
Madame Marka.

Think you're gonna have to
do a little better than that.

I'm not auditioning for you,
Colonel Austin.

I do not do card tricks.

Now do you want my help,
or don't you?

Thanks, anyway.

(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)

(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)

(LOUD CRACK)

That's about what happened to you,
isn't it, Colonel Austin?

You are thinking...

"Now how did she know where I was?"

How did you know?

I could be a mind reader.

Or, I could have followed you.

I see they've stolen
Dr. Brenner's notes.

They?

Did I say "they"?

Yes. Why didn't you say he or she?

I don't know.

(WEIRD WHIRRING)

I get a feeling of two somehow.

But not really two.

More like one.

Or maybe three?
On the other hand, it could be four.

I'm sorry, Colonel Austin,
I really am trying to help you.

But something is very muddy here.

I get a feeling of children.

But it isn't children.

You can't miss, can you?
It's either one or more than one.

It's either children or adults.

I know it seems vague...

but somehow, what I'm telling you...

does have a definite meaning.

Thank you. I realize
you're doing your best.

Wait. You've been here before!

Earlier today.

Did you follow me before or have you
been talking to the lady next door?

No. Please. What happened?

I was chased away by
a man with a gun.

But that's not quite true.

You chased him away.

Do you know who he was?

I thought maybe you could tell me that.

Perhaps I can help you with that.

Come with me.

Was it parked here?

STEVE: Judging from
the skid marks, I'd say yes.

I get nothing about a car.

No color, no model.

I... I get a word.

No, a name.

Pearl.

It means nothing to me, either.

I'm sorry.

It's okay.

Riddles.

You bring me all the way
across the country...

to solve the stupid riddles of
a phony stage mentalist.

Something's going on.

Even if Marka is a phony,
she knows too much just to be guessing.

Maybe she's even in on it somehow.

All right, old chum, since I'm here,
we might as well go through the motions.

All right, she said,
two but not really two.

Yeah.
One.

She said she had a feeling of children
but not really children.

And the big goon with the gun?
He's supposed to be Pearl?

What does it mean to you?

It's all rubbish, Steve.

All right, what if it weren't rubbish?

I mean how would you interpret it?
What would it mean to you?

I used to do an act like that.

I know.

Now the two persons who are really one...

I'd say that'd be twins.

Well, that's something.

Steve, this is a game we're playing.

Don't try to make so much of it.

And the children who are really adults?

What about Pearl?

Pearl is a girl's name.
It's also a kind of a gem.

Or, with a different spelling,
it's a term used in knitting.

It's also the word used
for the sound of rippling water.

Let's get back to the twins.

Working on the basis that Madame Marka
is not talking through her turban...

I've got a friend at the University
that's a leading expert on twins.

I'll drop in on her.

Meanwhile, why don't you go
back to the theater...

and see if you can get Madame Marka
to come up with anything more on pearl.

All right, you take my car.
It's across the street.

The theater is just down the road there.

I'll meet you back here at four o'clock.

Yeah.

(BIONIC EYE SOUND EFFECT)

(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)

Good morning, Mrs...?

Wagner. May I help you?

Well, I don't know.

See, I was given this address, 2400.

But something seems wrong.
Could you tell me who lives here?

Why, I do, young man.

Do you live here alone?

Oh, mercy no.

I have my two little children.

Well, my grandchildren actually.

The man who drove up in that car,
he looked familiar.

Does he live here, too?

Oh, mercy no.
He works for the children.

You mean the children hired him?

That's right.

To do what?

Goodness knows.

The little dears are
always up to something.

This must be the right house.

Would you mind if I had
a little talk with the children?

Why, I think that would be fine.

Little Davey and Margaret
don't get many visitors.

They don't seem to play with
the children on this block any more.

Thank you.
Mmm-hmm.

(STEVE KNOCKS)

(LOUD BANG)

Oh, my! What happened
to that poor young man?

It's all right, Mrs. Wagner.
I think a touch of heat.

I'll just take him inside,
and he'll be all right.

Tell me, Dr. Burns, do you really
go for all this mumbojumbo?

Or is it just that your research grant
is too high to turn down?

Call it.

Star.

Star it is.

You see? Even you may
have clairvoyant powers.

Lucky guess.

Like to try more?

Square.

Circle.

Square.

Wavy line.

Cross.

Another star.

Shall I go on?

That's unbelievable.

You still insist that there's
nothing to E.S.P.?

Seven lucky guesses.

Do you know what the odds are against
you getting seven in a row like that?

Dr. Burns, when you turned
around a moment ago...

and let me get my hands on the deck,
the odds dropped considerably.

Wait a minute.

A dispassionate scientist does not
hurl a bag of cards in the face of a subject.

(BOTH LAUGH)

I don't care what you say.

You are a mind reader.

Who are you, Colonel Austin?

You have my driver's license.

That's not what we meant.

Why were you at Dr. Brenner's,
and why did you come here?

Where is Dr. Brenner?

I don't know. Why do you want him?

We have his notes,
but they're in code.

We need Dr. Brenner to translate them
and we need you to bring him to us.

Afraid I can't do that.

We mean him no harm.

In fact, we want to help
him with his work.

Well, you've gone about it
in an awfully funny way.

You'd better rest a bit.

Grandma was stronger
than we thought.

GIRL: We'll talk more later.

Yes, I have done a lot of work with twins.

I'm very flattered you remember.

I've read about similar brain waves in twins,
but as far mental telepathy is concerned...

I'm still not sold.

We've done some amazing work
with telepathy with twins.

In fact, one case in particular,
I remember.

What about them?

Their record, it was so perfect.

We knew it could only be
the work of trickery.

You mean no misses?

It was almost as if they were
one mind, one person.

Well, did I finally say something
that made sense to you?

Yes.

Something that an oracle
said to me recently.

About two persons,
but really one person.

Tell me more about these twins.

Well, they were very mature for their age.

They were ten, but they seemed
much more like fifteen or sixteen.

How long ago was this?

About two years ago.

They'd be twelve now.

I seemed to have hit another nerve.

Yes. Something else the oracle said.

About children, but not really children.

Would you still have
their address on file?

Oh, I'm sure we do.

They had no parents as I recall.

They lived with their grandmother.

(ELECTRONIC HUMMING)

We apologize for the restraint,
Colonel Austin.

But you didn't seem
that cooperative.

You are not being harmed.

We are merely opening
a telepathic channel to your mind.

I thought you two were natural telepaths.

Only between each other.

Oh, you noticed how we communicated
with Jack here, and Grandmother.

No, we had to lay down communication
cable, as it were...

just as we're now doing with you.

You must bring Dr. Brenner to us.

It's a matter of life and death.

You have all his notes.
Why do you need him?

As we said before,
the notes are in code.

The formulas you took
from the O.S.I. vaults?

The early half of his work.

We must have his latest experiments.

But he's fifty years from positive results.

We can accelerate that.

Working from the start
he's already made...

in perhaps two or three years, we'll be
able to totally arrest cell deterioration.

What makes you think
you can do it that much faster?

We're freaks, Colonel Austin.

Many twins have brains that are
perfectly in tune with each other.

The brain waves are identical.
Information flows freely.

When we were born,
our togetherness went beyond that.

We literally have one brain
between the two of us.

Each of our brains, by itself, is the
equivalent of the normal superior brain.

Together, we share a single brain
having twice the capacities...

twice the abilities of
the finest brain on this earth.

Why didn't you just offer
your help to Dr. Brenner?

Because in this country,
the prejudice against experiments...

involving human beings
is almost insurmountable.

Brenner uses animals in his experiments.

That is why it will take
fifty years to produce results.

And you'll use humans?

Not here, but there are countries
where we will be permitted...

to experiment with human beings.

Five thousand, ten thousand subjects.
The number's almost limitless.

In two or three years,
the work will be complete.

And what about the ten thousand
victims of your experiments?

I'm afraid that's sentimental
nonsense, Colonel Austin.

That's the kind of thinking that's held up
scientific progress for hundreds of years.

You should be thinking of
the hundreds of millions of people...

we will be saving from a short, stingy life.

Why is it so desperately important
to you? You're both so young...

Yes, but do you have
any idea how young?

Twenty-eight. Thirty at the most.

We are twelve years old,
Colonel Austin.

I don't believe it.

Our minds are able to function
at a geometrically faster rate...

than that of the average person.

In payment for this...

We are aging at a rate that is
geometrically faster than normal.

In ten years we'll be
at the equivalent of sixty-five...

and at fifteen,
we'll both be dead.

I think his mind is open to us now.

We'll run some tests.

Star.

STEVE: Circle.

Cross.

Square.

Star.

Cross.

Wavy line.

Cross.

Circle.

17 hits out of 25. Fantastic.

But not good enough.

The chart shows only eight hits.

You tried lying on nine.

Deliberately missed.

We have a polygraph
wired to the computer.

I'm sorry, Colonel Austin,
but we need perfection.

Another 45 minutes, and I would say
you will score 25 out of 25.

You're turning me into a zombie.

Not at all.

You'll have perfect free will, except for
certain non-verbal instructions from us.

And once you deliver Dr. Brenner to us,
you'll be free to go on your own way.

The file that disappeared
from O.S.I. headquarters.

You did it, didn't you?

Yes.

How?

By a perfectly natural means.

In its simplest form, you might say
we transferred it from there to here.

In much the same way that
a picture is taken out of the air...

and transferred into your
living room as television.

Or sound is picked up
and sent into your home...

reorganized into its original
components called radio.

But how could ink be reorganized
and then reconstructed?

You know about the molecular
memory of plastic?

How it will return to
its original shape if freed?

We did somewhat the same with the ink.

We taught it molecular memory.

And it had no choice but
to reform its original shape.

Pardon me. Mrs. Wagner?

Yes. Why, you must be the doctor.

One of the children is ill?

Oh, dear no.

It was the young man
who came to play with them.

Yes, of course.

He fell down just like that.

They told me it was sunstroke, but it doesn't
seem warm enough for that, does it?

Mrs. Wagner, what did
this young man look like?

He was tall, fair, light brown hair...

and he was wearing
a blue denim jacket.

Excuse me, Mrs. Wagner,
I'd best be getting to see my patient.

Yes, go right on in, Doctor.

The door is open.

Thank you.

Won't do you any good.
Those things cover a wide range.

Hold it!

I'm Dr. Murdoch.

Mrs. Wagner said there was
an injured man up here.

Hold it!

Hold it just right there.

No one called a doctor.

(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)

That's a pretty good rope escape.

You'll have to show me that sometime.

This the Wagner twins?

MURDOCH: Did you know
they're only twelve?

So they say.

Think we can handle them?

I would think so.

Like taking candy from a baby.

I'm afraid, sir, that you're
a bit outnumbered.

Three to one odds are hardly fair.

(EERIE WHIRR)

(VOICE ECHOES)
Block them.

MARKA: Think of a steel wall.

Steel wall.

(EERIE WHIRR)

Think steel.

Congratulations, Colonel Austin.

I'm not quite sure how
you got away from us...

but that was very good.

Well, I guess
we call the police now.

Yes, do that.

But hadn't you first better
consider the charges?

Theft of government documents.

Theft of ink, really.

Do you think
a jury will buy that?

Kidnapping.

You were trespassing, Colonel Austin.

As householders, we had
a right to defend ourselves.

Assault with intent to commit
great bodily harm.

Would you really want to send
that sweet, harmless woman to prison?

I'm sure the DA. will think
of something, Miss Wagner.

You were almost a candidate
for an assault charge yourself.

What made you decide
not to clobber me?

I had a strange hallucination
there for a moment.

At least I hope it was a hallucination.

So this is the ghost teletype.

I told you it would have
a scientific basis.

Every single thing had
a perfectly natural explanation.

Everything?
Everything.

What about Madame Marka?

One person, but two?
Little children, big people?

She's a poet, Steve, not a psychic.

We'll know soon enough.
Oscar went to the theater to question her.

See if she had any connection
with the Wagners.

He'll find one of three things.

She's either a liar, a lucky guesser,
or an accomplice in the crime.

(DOOR OPENS)

Did you talk to her?

She wasn't at the theater, Steve.
Did she close?

She's never played there.

Sure she did. I talked to her
in her dressing room.

Her name was on the marquee.

I even had a poster of her.

Have you got the poster?

No, I threw it away.

Did you talk to the manager?

I did.

He's been booking musical acts
there for the past 15 years.

He doesn't recall a mentalist
ever playing there.

And he's been with that
theater for 37 years.

(END THEME MUSIC)