The Six Million Dollar Man (1974–1978): Season 4, Episode 13 - Death Probe - full transcript
(OMINOUS MUSIC)
(LOUD WHISTLING THROUGH AIR)
That's it, sir.
It just popped out of nowhere.
OPERATOR: It's going so fast,
I can barely keep up with it.
This is General Wiley.
Go to condition yellow.
Scramble intercept Zulu Four.
(JET ENGINES ROAR)
Bandleader, this is Zulu Four leader.
Off the deck at 0230.
OPERA TOR: Roger, Zulu Four.
Bandleader, Zulu Four leader.
Flight in position.
Missiles armed.
Roger, Zulu Four.
Bogie will arrive your position in...
estimate ten seconds or less.
OPERA TOR: Nine... eight....
seven... six....
(LOUD WHOOSH)
Zulu Four, Bogie has
arrived your position!
Can you pursue?
Pursue? I can't even see it anymore!
(PHONE RINGING)
Hello?
Oscar, it's 3:00 in the morning.
What?
Say, 3,000 miles an hour?
And it walked away
from our interceptors?
Where was this again?
Northern Wyoming.
Sure, Oscar, I understand.
I'll be right over.
General. Just picked up
telemetry again, sir.
It seems to be landing.
The drag chute has deployed.
Main chute open.
It's landing, General.
Where?
(CLICKING, WHIRRING)
The United States!
That's impossible!
Could you be mistaken?
No, sir. No mistake.
Can you give me a
more definite area?
(CLICKING)
Northern Wyoming.
(RAPID BEEPING)
See that our best people
in the area are contacted.
We must reach it
before the Americans.
FLIGHT COM:
It looks good at NASA One.
B- 52 >PILOT:
Roger.
BCS Arm switch is on.
FLIGHT COM:
Okay, Victor.
B-52 PILOT:
Landing Rocket Arm switch is on.
Here comes the throttle.
Circuit breakers in.
STEVE:
We have separation.
B-52 PILOT:
Inboard and outboards are on.
I'm comin' forward with the side stick.
FLIGHT COM:
Looks good.
PILOT:
Ah, Roger.
STEVE:
I've got a blowout in damper three.
SR-71 PILOT:
Get your pitch to zero.
STEVE:
Pitch is out. I can't hold altitude!
B-52 PILOT: Correction. Alpha Hold is all“.
Threat selector is emergency.
STEVE: Flight Com. I can't hold it!
She's breaking up! She's breaking...
ANNOUNCER:
Steve Austin. Astronaut.
A man barely alive.
Gentlemen, we can rebuild him.
We have the technology.
We have the capability
to make the world's first bionic man.
Steve Austin will be that man.
Better than he was before.
Better, stronger, faster.
(MAIN TITLE THEME)
(HORSE NEIGHS)
(DOG BARKS)
What're you barking all about, Bandit?
(GALLOPING)
(SPUTTERS, NEIGHS)
What's wrong with old Jet over there?
What's wrong with you, Jet?
(NEIGHS)
FARMER: Hey, boy!
(HORSE GROWLS, NEIGHS)
(BARKS)
What's gotten into you fool animals?
(NEIGHS)
Huh. Well, at least you ladies
is normal anyhows.
(JET NEIGHS)
Come and get it.
(SPUTTERS)
(BANDIT BARKS)
Bandit! Hush up!
(BARKS)
(NEIGHS LOUDLY)
Bandit! Bandit come back here!
(WINDS HOWL)
(LOUD THUMPING)
(MUTTERS SILENTLY)
You stay away!
You stay away from me, hear?
(LOUD CRASH)
(FARMER GASPS)
Sally, I don't take that kind
of talk from anybody.
(PHONE RINGS)
And then when he said that to me...
I just raised my eyebrow and...
Hold on, Sally. I'm gonna put you on hold.
I'll be right back.
Yes, this is the Bradville
Development Corporation.
MAN: Roberta Ham's.
Speaking.
Have you looked at the sky lately?
Yes, I'm listening.
We have a condition Red.
Go to your prime rendezvous.
You will be given instructions there.
Yes, sir.
The camera loves you, Joanie.
Oh, beautiful, sweetheart.
Beautiful. One more.
That's it.
(PHONE RINGS)
Joanie, we really oughta do
something about that mold.
Darling Daryl speak...
MAN: Have you looked at the sky lately?
Take five, Joanie.
Go.
(ENGINE STARTS, SERVICE BELL)
Thank you!
Caught that a hockey game last night?
The goalie was gun shy.
You wanna win a hockey game...
(PHONE RINGS)
Ralph's Garage.
Ralph speaking.
MAN: Have you looked at the sky lately?
See you around, okay?
There's been U.F.O.s before, Oscar.
Usually they turn out
to be weather balloons.
Or someone else's
overworked imagination.
Not this time, Steve.
We tracked it on the radar
for 10 minutes.
It was travelling at Mach 4.
That sounds like a spacecraft,
not an aircraft.
That's why they couldn't catch it.
A spacecraft comes down
out of the stratosphere.
Not across the horizon.
I take it that's what's got
the Secretary worried.
Exactly. It's a threat
to our national defense.
If this thing turns out to be
a prototype weapon...
Steve, this is top security stuff.
Do you think you can debrief
the pilots without letting on?
Sure. You say they lost it
right over their own airbase.
No, actually, a few miles away.
Place called Eagle City.
(INTERCOM BUZZES)
Yes.
Good. We're on our way.
Andrews Air Force Base.
Will you get that?
Our jet is waiting.
Before you see my pilots,
there's one more thing.
It's kind of ridiculous,
but I think I should pass it on.
Let's have it.
The Sheriff from town
called me this morning.
Seems that one of the local farmers
claims he was attacked...
by a monster from Mars.
We'll hold off on
seeing those pilots, Ed.
I think we'll pay a visit to that sheriff.
(PHONE RINGS)
Well, Mr. Goldman,
I don't know what to tell you.
Zack Meesham's been known
to take a sip now and again...
but all in all,
he's a pretty reliable fella.
If he tells me he saw something,
I'm inclined to believe him.
Sir, would you mind giving us
directions out to his place?
We'd like to hear his
story first hand.
Sure. Just take the County Line Road
till you cross the bridge.
Pretty soon, the road starts to turn left,
but you bear right.
Third road comes in there.
Zach's place is right
on the end of it.
Thank you, Sheriff.
Sheriff, it's local officials like
you who that our job easier.
My pleasure.
(LOUD THUMPING)
Unidentified Flying Object, my eye.
It come from Mars.
It wasn't flying, it was on the ground
and coming straight at me.
Make sure you put that
in the newspaper.
Oh, I will.
I will, Mr. Meesham.
Go on. I know our reader's are
going to be absolutely fascinated.
Uh, well, like I told you.
The dog started actin' funny.
The horse got strange, restless.
(HORN HONKS, DOG BARKS)
Good morning gentlemen.
Morning.
I figured a lot of you people
be showing up about now.
Us people?
Yeah. The press.
This is the biggest story
to hit these parts in years.
Except, of course,
for the time Dillinger was spotted.
I was just a little kid...
Sheriff, we're not reporters.
We're from the government.
I've been expecting
a lot of you people, too.
Name is Dan Corbett.
How do you do, Sheriff.
This is Colonel Steve Austin.
Sheriff.
My name is Oscar Goldman.
We understand that a farmer rep...
Wait a minute. You know I'm beginning
to think I was right the first time.
What do you mean?
You fellas are reporters, aren't you?
You'll do anything to get a story.
Let's start from the beginning, Sheriff.
This is Colonel Steve Austin,
and my name is Oscar Goldman.
I heard you the first time,
Mr. Oscar Goldman.
A pretty cute idea.
You been here a half hour earlier,
it might've worked.
You mean someone from
the government was already here?
Oscar Goldman, O.S.I.
And you took his word?
He had identification that said O.S.I.
You mean like this?
Come on, fellas.
This isn't funny.
Forging government documents
is a very serious offense.
Sheriff, what makes you think that
that man is the real Oscar Goldman?
Because he got here before me?
Next thing I know, there it was.
I give it two barrels,
and it didn't even blink!
Not that it had any eyes,
you understand.
But it... it bent up my shotgun
like a pipe cleaner.
And then it, uh...
It took off as quick as it come.
Did you... did you happen
to notice which way it went?
Sure did.
North. Due north.
Well, Mr. Meesham...
your encounter with this, uh...
Monster from Mars.
Yes, it's just so
absolutely vivid...
that I would like to get it
into today's edition.
Would you mind
if! call my editor?
Why, sure! Go ahead!
Ah, thanks. Thank you.
(DIALING)
(PHONE RINGS)
What is it?
Chief? Yes. We're still at the farm.
Mr. Meesham gave us
a very interesting story.
Well, he said that the monster
was going north...
when it left here.
It's heading up north.
Go on.
Why would someone
impersonate you?
I can think of several
reasons, Steve.
All of them bad.
Well.
And that his shotgun had
absolutely no effect.
Trouble.
Uh, Chief, I think we're
gonna have to go.
It looks like our
rival publication is...
Well, seems to be kind of hot
on our exclusive story.
So, we'll call you back
as soon as we can.
Lois, why don't we get some pictures of
Mr. Meesham down at the chicken coop?
Front page.
Oh, yes.
That's a great idea.
Shouldn't I change clothes?
Just fine.
Just fine.
Just the way you are.
I'm dirty.
Take care of those two.
Something's wrong.
Howdy there.
Mr. Meesham.
That's me.
My name is Oscar Goldman
of the Office of Scientific Investigation.
This is Colonel Steve Austin.
The sheriff told me
that you saw a U.F.O.
We'd like you to tell us your version.
Why sure. Be glad to.
The dog was actin' real funny.
The horse was just getting
too restless...
That'll do it. Let's go.
Come on.
I'm sorry I can't give you
a better description than that.
That thing busted up my
shotgun like a pipe cleaner.
And it just took off before
I could get a good look at it.
Did you notice which direction?
South. Due south.
Excuse me.
This is Oscar Goldman. Patch me
through to General Wiley, please.
General Wiley here.
Hello, Ed.
Ed, I think we've got something.
Not a monster from Mars, I hope.
I got a feeling that that bogie
landed somewhere near here.
I want you to organize
an air and land search.
You've got it.
Concentrate your men on the quadrant
south of County Line Road.
We've been organized
and ready to move.
Good. I'll be in touch with you.
Uh, Mr. Meesham?
Oh, yeah?
Has anybody been around here
asking you questions of any kind?
Just you fellas.
If anybody should...
would you just tell the sheriff
and he'll contact me?
Be glad to.
Thank you very much
for your help.
Steve? You coming?
Yeah, sure.
You know, Steve,
with a little luck...
you might be able to...
Oscar, I think we got
a ringer back there.
What do you mean?
Unless he's raising
his own alligators...
the shoes he's wearing must've set him
back a couple hundred dollars.
Stop. Let me out.
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
Get your hands off me!
Let me go!
Who are you anyway?
What's he doing?
Get it out!
Must be poison.
I think you got most of it.
Darn!
He's not gonna be in any
condition to talk for a while.
Oscar, nobody takes
poison over a U.F.O.
Something's wrong.
If they don't call in soon,
we'll have to go to an alternate plan.
SECRETARY: We should have
called that motel five minutes ago.
We'll call five minutes from now.
When Goldman and Austin are dead.
Here they come.
(SIREN WAILS)
You ready?
Yeah, I'm as ready
as I ever will be.
You know what to do.
I know! asked you to search
the south quadrants, Ed...
but now I'm asking you not to.
Then where should we search?
Everywhere else.
Everywhere else.
Oscar.
Well, well. What does that
look like to you, pal?
Another pair of alligator shoes.
Well, I'm glad you guys stopped.
I don't know what I would
have done if you hadn't...
All right, ma'am,
if you just put your hands up.
What?
If I'm wrong, I'll apologize.
(GUNSHOT)
You okay?
Yeah.
Can you see him?
Yeah, but he's pretty well hidden.
If you jump that fence,
zigzag through that field...
you could draw his fire.
Well, thanks a lot, pal.
You know what I mean.
He's gonna be worried about
the one of us with a gun, not the bionics.
All right.
If we get through this,
remind me to talk to Rudy Wells.
I'm gonna get some spare
bionic parts for myself.
(GUNSHOT)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
Well.
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT,
TIRES SCREECH)
Mr. Goldman, you are never
gonna get me to say anything.
That's all right, ma'am.
You're just like anybody else.
You have fingerprints, a name,
and a past history.
Yes. Good. See what you can
find out about the other two.
Her name is Sonia Minskayova.
She's a Soviet agent.
What would Russia
have to do with this?
I don't know, but she works
with Major Anatoly Popov.
Who's Popov?
He's the top Soviet agent
in North America.
We've been after him
a long time.
We have her motel key.
If we're lucky, he's waiting for her.
Hold up, Mr. Goldman.
One of my men just found Zack Meesham
trussed up like a prize heifer.
I want to know what's going on here!
I'll fill you in on the way.
On the way to where?
Where is he?
They checked
out ten minutes ago.
They?
A man and a woman.
I didn't see them.
Search the grounds.
Search party out yet?
Yes.
Double it. We're looking
for a man and a woman.
The man is about 5'10",
brown hair, brown eyes, stocky...
with a slight Russian accent.
We don't know
what the woman looks like.
All right.
Take it easy, Oscar.
We had them right in our hands.
This is Oscar Goldman.
I wanna speak to the Secretary, please.
Mr. Secretary.
We have some new developments.
There are Soviet agents
all over this place.
We think that this thing
might be a piece of Russian equipment.
I'd like to respectfully request
through diplomatic channels...
that you tell the Soviets
that we know what's going on here.
Is it dangerous?
As of this moment, we just don't know.
(LOUD THUMPING)
We've gone another five miles.
Let's try again here.
Another five miles?
Couldn't you bring something stronger
than a receiver with a five mile range?
I came to this country on
20 minutes notice, Major Popov.
I brought what I could.
Of course, you were already here.
Oh. There's a note in your voice,
Irina Leonova.
You do not approve of
my intelligence activities?
I'm a scientist, Major, not a politician.
Whether I approve or not is irrelevant.
Yet here you are, helping me
to outwit the Americans.
I am only here to salvage what
I can of the Venus space probe...
which I happen to have built.
And you were ordered to assist me.
Oh huh.
There it is!
(STEADY BEEP)
This is the probe. The center here
always indicates our position.
Excellent! How far is it?
About four miles.
Now what are you doing?
This will send out a pulse signal...
which will cause the probe
to shut itself down.
I have to reprogram the vector analysis...
to a short range intercept.
Search One, Search Two, do you read?
Roger, Command. This is Search One.
Quadrant six is negative.
Command, Search Two.
Nothing in quad eight.
Understood.
Search One, Search Two,
proceed to your next assigned positions.
Over and out.
Not that it makes any difference.
Well, these woods are
thick enough to hide anything.
Our best chance will
be on the ground.
Captain!
Yes, Mr. Goldman?
Captain, I want you to divide
your men into two groups.
I want you to take the first group
and check quadrant seven.
I'll take the other group
and search quadrant nine.
Right. Sergeant!
Have the men fall in!
Steve, you gotta probably...
I should search...
(BOTH LAUGH)
Say, I could cover more ground
in ten minutes...
than they could
in a couple of hours.
That's the idea.
You search quadrant 11.
I'll also take 13 and 15.
All right, yeah.
It's great to be appreciated.
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(STEADY BEEP)
IRINA: There.
Ready, now?
Yes.
This signal will shut down the probe.
Something's wrong?
Nothing seems to be happening.
How could that be?
I don't know!
It's almost as if...
Wait a minute. That farmer.
He fired a gun at the probe.
Yes, yes. What's that to do with it?
Well, the probe sensors could have
read it as a meteor shower...
or volcanic activity.
If that happened, the probe
would put itself on override.
Oh, dear God.
There's nothing on earth
that can stop it now.
(LOUD THUMPING)
We built many defenses into the probe.
The final one was the override,
to be triggered in the event...
I don't understand
your technical language.
What I do know is
that you've failed.
Fortunately, we anticipated
such a possibility.
Must be important.
It's locked for a very good reason.
If anyone other than myself
tries to open this...
the resulting explosion
can destroy an entire city block.
But why? What's in it?
A device to destroy the Venus probe.
We were ordered to
dismantle the probe...
and take its circuits back
to Russia, not destroy it!
We have no time for
such foolishness.
Our main job is to prevent
the secrets of the probe...
from getting into the hands
of the Americans. Excuse me.
There! See?
POPOV: Americans are here already.
Why wasn't I told?
You answered that
yourself, Leonova.
You're a scientist, not a politician.
Now wait. You can't go
near that probe.
It's operating as though
it were on Venus!
All its defense modes
are on automatic!
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(BIONIC EYE SOUND EFFECT)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
You understand the
importance of the probe.
Of course.
Then you understand we must destroy it
before the Americans get their hands on it!
Does it really matter
so much who...
(STEADY BEEP, FASTER)
(THUMPING APPROACHING)
The probe!
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(PROBE CIRCUIT CLICKING)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(SCREAMS)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
Irina.
Irina, you've got to help me.
You've got to stop that computer.
Or Vasily's death
will be meaningless.
Do you hear me?
His death would be meaningless.
Will you help me?
Alright.
Come on.
IRINA: We haven't got much time.
2 minutes and 31 seconds.
(BIONIC EYE SOUND EFFECT)
This is it.
It's no use. I'll never get them
all aligned in time.
Then it's all over.
Triggering device for the nuclear
weapon must originate here.
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
This is the main wire.
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
Get me a ground wire.
But the voltage going through
that triggering device is deadly.
Watch yourself.
Oscar, if we're gonna get
to Mars from here...
we're gonna need a new computer.
Get us out of here.
Steve?
Oh, Steve.
You all right?
Steve.
Oscar.
You all right?
We're all right.
Okay.
Irina Leonova.
They've got to be gone.
Irina, the power of that thing
is incredible.
Do you know what it is?
But it's all right now, Steve.
We can track it down
with my equipment.
And Popov has a way
of destroying it.
CAPTAIN: Medic!
We need a medic over here!
Popov!
How's that? Any better?
Much better.
I must've strained a muscle
when I jumped into that ditch.
So you designed
that space probe?
Yes. It was supposed
to land on Venus.
We still don't know
what went wrong.
Why all the secrecy?
Why Popov and all his agents?
It's made out of a new alloy.
A super metal.
Major Popov is not in favor of
the sharing of scientific discoveries.
So he brought along a missile
that could destroy it.
Excuse me.
You asked to be kept informed of
Major Popov's condition, Miss?
Yes. How is he?
Well, he's got a concussion,
maybe a fractured rib.
He's gonna be out for
a couple of hours, or days.
Days?
Mr. Goldman would like
to see you, Colonel.
Thank you.
OSCAR: Here is where
the probe landed, Steve.
And here is where
it attacked the farmer.
Then it headed north.
Right.
Then it was reported here,
and here.
Irina told me it was designed to zigzag
while exploring the surface of Venus.
As far as it's concerned,
it's on the surface of Venus now.
Which brings us to
where we are now. Here.
And then it went north again.
North again.
The town is right in its path.
Less than two hours away.
We've gotta evacuate
that town, Steve.
What, in a few hours notice?
Do you know what kind of panic
you'll have on your hands?
What else can we do?
I could go after it.
No, no. You can't face
that thing alone.
I turned it away before.
Only temporarily.
It'll turn around again.
Well, maybe not.
At least give me a chance to try.
If it's too much to handle,
we'll do it your way, I promise.
You know, sometimes I think that
stubborn streak of yours is bionic, too.
Does that mean yes?
Locate it. Stall it.
Give me time.
But that's all!
(THUMPING)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
How are you feeling?
Much better.
Where's Steve?
Tracking the space probe.
Oh no, Oscar.
You've got to stop him!
Irina, you know that Steve is bionic.
If he's just...
You don't understand!
I designed that probe for Venus.
Venus, Oscar!
A planet with temperatures
up to 900 degrees...
300 mile an hour winds...
pressures equal to
90 Earth atmospheres...
clouds of sulfuric acid.
Even a bionic man couldn't
survive under those conditions.
And anything that could would be
more powerful than... Steve.
My God.
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(PROBE CIRCUIT CLICKING)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(PROBE CIRCUIT CLICKING)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(PROBE CIRCUIT CLICKING)
(END THEME MUSIC)
(LOUD WHISTLING THROUGH AIR)
That's it, sir.
It just popped out of nowhere.
OPERATOR: It's going so fast,
I can barely keep up with it.
This is General Wiley.
Go to condition yellow.
Scramble intercept Zulu Four.
(JET ENGINES ROAR)
Bandleader, this is Zulu Four leader.
Off the deck at 0230.
OPERA TOR: Roger, Zulu Four.
Bandleader, Zulu Four leader.
Flight in position.
Missiles armed.
Roger, Zulu Four.
Bogie will arrive your position in...
estimate ten seconds or less.
OPERA TOR: Nine... eight....
seven... six....
(LOUD WHOOSH)
Zulu Four, Bogie has
arrived your position!
Can you pursue?
Pursue? I can't even see it anymore!
(PHONE RINGING)
Hello?
Oscar, it's 3:00 in the morning.
What?
Say, 3,000 miles an hour?
And it walked away
from our interceptors?
Where was this again?
Northern Wyoming.
Sure, Oscar, I understand.
I'll be right over.
General. Just picked up
telemetry again, sir.
It seems to be landing.
The drag chute has deployed.
Main chute open.
It's landing, General.
Where?
(CLICKING, WHIRRING)
The United States!
That's impossible!
Could you be mistaken?
No, sir. No mistake.
Can you give me a
more definite area?
(CLICKING)
Northern Wyoming.
(RAPID BEEPING)
See that our best people
in the area are contacted.
We must reach it
before the Americans.
FLIGHT COM:
It looks good at NASA One.
B- 52 >PILOT:
Roger.
BCS Arm switch is on.
FLIGHT COM:
Okay, Victor.
B-52 PILOT:
Landing Rocket Arm switch is on.
Here comes the throttle.
Circuit breakers in.
STEVE:
We have separation.
B-52 PILOT:
Inboard and outboards are on.
I'm comin' forward with the side stick.
FLIGHT COM:
Looks good.
PILOT:
Ah, Roger.
STEVE:
I've got a blowout in damper three.
SR-71 PILOT:
Get your pitch to zero.
STEVE:
Pitch is out. I can't hold altitude!
B-52 PILOT: Correction. Alpha Hold is all“.
Threat selector is emergency.
STEVE: Flight Com. I can't hold it!
She's breaking up! She's breaking...
ANNOUNCER:
Steve Austin. Astronaut.
A man barely alive.
Gentlemen, we can rebuild him.
We have the technology.
We have the capability
to make the world's first bionic man.
Steve Austin will be that man.
Better than he was before.
Better, stronger, faster.
(MAIN TITLE THEME)
(HORSE NEIGHS)
(DOG BARKS)
What're you barking all about, Bandit?
(GALLOPING)
(SPUTTERS, NEIGHS)
What's wrong with old Jet over there?
What's wrong with you, Jet?
(NEIGHS)
FARMER: Hey, boy!
(HORSE GROWLS, NEIGHS)
(BARKS)
What's gotten into you fool animals?
(NEIGHS)
Huh. Well, at least you ladies
is normal anyhows.
(JET NEIGHS)
Come and get it.
(SPUTTERS)
(BANDIT BARKS)
Bandit! Hush up!
(BARKS)
(NEIGHS LOUDLY)
Bandit! Bandit come back here!
(WINDS HOWL)
(LOUD THUMPING)
(MUTTERS SILENTLY)
You stay away!
You stay away from me, hear?
(LOUD CRASH)
(FARMER GASPS)
Sally, I don't take that kind
of talk from anybody.
(PHONE RINGS)
And then when he said that to me...
I just raised my eyebrow and...
Hold on, Sally. I'm gonna put you on hold.
I'll be right back.
Yes, this is the Bradville
Development Corporation.
MAN: Roberta Ham's.
Speaking.
Have you looked at the sky lately?
Yes, I'm listening.
We have a condition Red.
Go to your prime rendezvous.
You will be given instructions there.
Yes, sir.
The camera loves you, Joanie.
Oh, beautiful, sweetheart.
Beautiful. One more.
That's it.
(PHONE RINGS)
Joanie, we really oughta do
something about that mold.
Darling Daryl speak...
MAN: Have you looked at the sky lately?
Take five, Joanie.
Go.
(ENGINE STARTS, SERVICE BELL)
Thank you!
Caught that a hockey game last night?
The goalie was gun shy.
You wanna win a hockey game...
(PHONE RINGS)
Ralph's Garage.
Ralph speaking.
MAN: Have you looked at the sky lately?
See you around, okay?
There's been U.F.O.s before, Oscar.
Usually they turn out
to be weather balloons.
Or someone else's
overworked imagination.
Not this time, Steve.
We tracked it on the radar
for 10 minutes.
It was travelling at Mach 4.
That sounds like a spacecraft,
not an aircraft.
That's why they couldn't catch it.
A spacecraft comes down
out of the stratosphere.
Not across the horizon.
I take it that's what's got
the Secretary worried.
Exactly. It's a threat
to our national defense.
If this thing turns out to be
a prototype weapon...
Steve, this is top security stuff.
Do you think you can debrief
the pilots without letting on?
Sure. You say they lost it
right over their own airbase.
No, actually, a few miles away.
Place called Eagle City.
(INTERCOM BUZZES)
Yes.
Good. We're on our way.
Andrews Air Force Base.
Will you get that?
Our jet is waiting.
Before you see my pilots,
there's one more thing.
It's kind of ridiculous,
but I think I should pass it on.
Let's have it.
The Sheriff from town
called me this morning.
Seems that one of the local farmers
claims he was attacked...
by a monster from Mars.
We'll hold off on
seeing those pilots, Ed.
I think we'll pay a visit to that sheriff.
(PHONE RINGS)
Well, Mr. Goldman,
I don't know what to tell you.
Zack Meesham's been known
to take a sip now and again...
but all in all,
he's a pretty reliable fella.
If he tells me he saw something,
I'm inclined to believe him.
Sir, would you mind giving us
directions out to his place?
We'd like to hear his
story first hand.
Sure. Just take the County Line Road
till you cross the bridge.
Pretty soon, the road starts to turn left,
but you bear right.
Third road comes in there.
Zach's place is right
on the end of it.
Thank you, Sheriff.
Sheriff, it's local officials like
you who that our job easier.
My pleasure.
(LOUD THUMPING)
Unidentified Flying Object, my eye.
It come from Mars.
It wasn't flying, it was on the ground
and coming straight at me.
Make sure you put that
in the newspaper.
Oh, I will.
I will, Mr. Meesham.
Go on. I know our reader's are
going to be absolutely fascinated.
Uh, well, like I told you.
The dog started actin' funny.
The horse got strange, restless.
(HORN HONKS, DOG BARKS)
Good morning gentlemen.
Morning.
I figured a lot of you people
be showing up about now.
Us people?
Yeah. The press.
This is the biggest story
to hit these parts in years.
Except, of course,
for the time Dillinger was spotted.
I was just a little kid...
Sheriff, we're not reporters.
We're from the government.
I've been expecting
a lot of you people, too.
Name is Dan Corbett.
How do you do, Sheriff.
This is Colonel Steve Austin.
Sheriff.
My name is Oscar Goldman.
We understand that a farmer rep...
Wait a minute. You know I'm beginning
to think I was right the first time.
What do you mean?
You fellas are reporters, aren't you?
You'll do anything to get a story.
Let's start from the beginning, Sheriff.
This is Colonel Steve Austin,
and my name is Oscar Goldman.
I heard you the first time,
Mr. Oscar Goldman.
A pretty cute idea.
You been here a half hour earlier,
it might've worked.
You mean someone from
the government was already here?
Oscar Goldman, O.S.I.
And you took his word?
He had identification that said O.S.I.
You mean like this?
Come on, fellas.
This isn't funny.
Forging government documents
is a very serious offense.
Sheriff, what makes you think that
that man is the real Oscar Goldman?
Because he got here before me?
Next thing I know, there it was.
I give it two barrels,
and it didn't even blink!
Not that it had any eyes,
you understand.
But it... it bent up my shotgun
like a pipe cleaner.
And then it, uh...
It took off as quick as it come.
Did you... did you happen
to notice which way it went?
Sure did.
North. Due north.
Well, Mr. Meesham...
your encounter with this, uh...
Monster from Mars.
Yes, it's just so
absolutely vivid...
that I would like to get it
into today's edition.
Would you mind
if! call my editor?
Why, sure! Go ahead!
Ah, thanks. Thank you.
(DIALING)
(PHONE RINGS)
What is it?
Chief? Yes. We're still at the farm.
Mr. Meesham gave us
a very interesting story.
Well, he said that the monster
was going north...
when it left here.
It's heading up north.
Go on.
Why would someone
impersonate you?
I can think of several
reasons, Steve.
All of them bad.
Well.
And that his shotgun had
absolutely no effect.
Trouble.
Uh, Chief, I think we're
gonna have to go.
It looks like our
rival publication is...
Well, seems to be kind of hot
on our exclusive story.
So, we'll call you back
as soon as we can.
Lois, why don't we get some pictures of
Mr. Meesham down at the chicken coop?
Front page.
Oh, yes.
That's a great idea.
Shouldn't I change clothes?
Just fine.
Just fine.
Just the way you are.
I'm dirty.
Take care of those two.
Something's wrong.
Howdy there.
Mr. Meesham.
That's me.
My name is Oscar Goldman
of the Office of Scientific Investigation.
This is Colonel Steve Austin.
The sheriff told me
that you saw a U.F.O.
We'd like you to tell us your version.
Why sure. Be glad to.
The dog was actin' real funny.
The horse was just getting
too restless...
That'll do it. Let's go.
Come on.
I'm sorry I can't give you
a better description than that.
That thing busted up my
shotgun like a pipe cleaner.
And it just took off before
I could get a good look at it.
Did you notice which direction?
South. Due south.
Excuse me.
This is Oscar Goldman. Patch me
through to General Wiley, please.
General Wiley here.
Hello, Ed.
Ed, I think we've got something.
Not a monster from Mars, I hope.
I got a feeling that that bogie
landed somewhere near here.
I want you to organize
an air and land search.
You've got it.
Concentrate your men on the quadrant
south of County Line Road.
We've been organized
and ready to move.
Good. I'll be in touch with you.
Uh, Mr. Meesham?
Oh, yeah?
Has anybody been around here
asking you questions of any kind?
Just you fellas.
If anybody should...
would you just tell the sheriff
and he'll contact me?
Be glad to.
Thank you very much
for your help.
Steve? You coming?
Yeah, sure.
You know, Steve,
with a little luck...
you might be able to...
Oscar, I think we got
a ringer back there.
What do you mean?
Unless he's raising
his own alligators...
the shoes he's wearing must've set him
back a couple hundred dollars.
Stop. Let me out.
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
Get your hands off me!
Let me go!
Who are you anyway?
What's he doing?
Get it out!
Must be poison.
I think you got most of it.
Darn!
He's not gonna be in any
condition to talk for a while.
Oscar, nobody takes
poison over a U.F.O.
Something's wrong.
If they don't call in soon,
we'll have to go to an alternate plan.
SECRETARY: We should have
called that motel five minutes ago.
We'll call five minutes from now.
When Goldman and Austin are dead.
Here they come.
(SIREN WAILS)
You ready?
Yeah, I'm as ready
as I ever will be.
You know what to do.
I know! asked you to search
the south quadrants, Ed...
but now I'm asking you not to.
Then where should we search?
Everywhere else.
Everywhere else.
Oscar.
Well, well. What does that
look like to you, pal?
Another pair of alligator shoes.
Well, I'm glad you guys stopped.
I don't know what I would
have done if you hadn't...
All right, ma'am,
if you just put your hands up.
What?
If I'm wrong, I'll apologize.
(GUNSHOT)
You okay?
Yeah.
Can you see him?
Yeah, but he's pretty well hidden.
If you jump that fence,
zigzag through that field...
you could draw his fire.
Well, thanks a lot, pal.
You know what I mean.
He's gonna be worried about
the one of us with a gun, not the bionics.
All right.
If we get through this,
remind me to talk to Rudy Wells.
I'm gonna get some spare
bionic parts for myself.
(GUNSHOT)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
Well.
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT,
TIRES SCREECH)
Mr. Goldman, you are never
gonna get me to say anything.
That's all right, ma'am.
You're just like anybody else.
You have fingerprints, a name,
and a past history.
Yes. Good. See what you can
find out about the other two.
Her name is Sonia Minskayova.
She's a Soviet agent.
What would Russia
have to do with this?
I don't know, but she works
with Major Anatoly Popov.
Who's Popov?
He's the top Soviet agent
in North America.
We've been after him
a long time.
We have her motel key.
If we're lucky, he's waiting for her.
Hold up, Mr. Goldman.
One of my men just found Zack Meesham
trussed up like a prize heifer.
I want to know what's going on here!
I'll fill you in on the way.
On the way to where?
Where is he?
They checked
out ten minutes ago.
They?
A man and a woman.
I didn't see them.
Search the grounds.
Search party out yet?
Yes.
Double it. We're looking
for a man and a woman.
The man is about 5'10",
brown hair, brown eyes, stocky...
with a slight Russian accent.
We don't know
what the woman looks like.
All right.
Take it easy, Oscar.
We had them right in our hands.
This is Oscar Goldman.
I wanna speak to the Secretary, please.
Mr. Secretary.
We have some new developments.
There are Soviet agents
all over this place.
We think that this thing
might be a piece of Russian equipment.
I'd like to respectfully request
through diplomatic channels...
that you tell the Soviets
that we know what's going on here.
Is it dangerous?
As of this moment, we just don't know.
(LOUD THUMPING)
We've gone another five miles.
Let's try again here.
Another five miles?
Couldn't you bring something stronger
than a receiver with a five mile range?
I came to this country on
20 minutes notice, Major Popov.
I brought what I could.
Of course, you were already here.
Oh. There's a note in your voice,
Irina Leonova.
You do not approve of
my intelligence activities?
I'm a scientist, Major, not a politician.
Whether I approve or not is irrelevant.
Yet here you are, helping me
to outwit the Americans.
I am only here to salvage what
I can of the Venus space probe...
which I happen to have built.
And you were ordered to assist me.
Oh huh.
There it is!
(STEADY BEEP)
This is the probe. The center here
always indicates our position.
Excellent! How far is it?
About four miles.
Now what are you doing?
This will send out a pulse signal...
which will cause the probe
to shut itself down.
I have to reprogram the vector analysis...
to a short range intercept.
Search One, Search Two, do you read?
Roger, Command. This is Search One.
Quadrant six is negative.
Command, Search Two.
Nothing in quad eight.
Understood.
Search One, Search Two,
proceed to your next assigned positions.
Over and out.
Not that it makes any difference.
Well, these woods are
thick enough to hide anything.
Our best chance will
be on the ground.
Captain!
Yes, Mr. Goldman?
Captain, I want you to divide
your men into two groups.
I want you to take the first group
and check quadrant seven.
I'll take the other group
and search quadrant nine.
Right. Sergeant!
Have the men fall in!
Steve, you gotta probably...
I should search...
(BOTH LAUGH)
Say, I could cover more ground
in ten minutes...
than they could
in a couple of hours.
That's the idea.
You search quadrant 11.
I'll also take 13 and 15.
All right, yeah.
It's great to be appreciated.
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(STEADY BEEP)
IRINA: There.
Ready, now?
Yes.
This signal will shut down the probe.
Something's wrong?
Nothing seems to be happening.
How could that be?
I don't know!
It's almost as if...
Wait a minute. That farmer.
He fired a gun at the probe.
Yes, yes. What's that to do with it?
Well, the probe sensors could have
read it as a meteor shower...
or volcanic activity.
If that happened, the probe
would put itself on override.
Oh, dear God.
There's nothing on earth
that can stop it now.
(LOUD THUMPING)
We built many defenses into the probe.
The final one was the override,
to be triggered in the event...
I don't understand
your technical language.
What I do know is
that you've failed.
Fortunately, we anticipated
such a possibility.
Must be important.
It's locked for a very good reason.
If anyone other than myself
tries to open this...
the resulting explosion
can destroy an entire city block.
But why? What's in it?
A device to destroy the Venus probe.
We were ordered to
dismantle the probe...
and take its circuits back
to Russia, not destroy it!
We have no time for
such foolishness.
Our main job is to prevent
the secrets of the probe...
from getting into the hands
of the Americans. Excuse me.
There! See?
POPOV: Americans are here already.
Why wasn't I told?
You answered that
yourself, Leonova.
You're a scientist, not a politician.
Now wait. You can't go
near that probe.
It's operating as though
it were on Venus!
All its defense modes
are on automatic!
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(BIONIC EYE SOUND EFFECT)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
You understand the
importance of the probe.
Of course.
Then you understand we must destroy it
before the Americans get their hands on it!
Does it really matter
so much who...
(STEADY BEEP, FASTER)
(THUMPING APPROACHING)
The probe!
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(PROBE CIRCUIT CLICKING)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(SCREAMS)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
Irina.
Irina, you've got to help me.
You've got to stop that computer.
Or Vasily's death
will be meaningless.
Do you hear me?
His death would be meaningless.
Will you help me?
Alright.
Come on.
IRINA: We haven't got much time.
2 minutes and 31 seconds.
(BIONIC EYE SOUND EFFECT)
This is it.
It's no use. I'll never get them
all aligned in time.
Then it's all over.
Triggering device for the nuclear
weapon must originate here.
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
This is the main wire.
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
Get me a ground wire.
But the voltage going through
that triggering device is deadly.
Watch yourself.
Oscar, if we're gonna get
to Mars from here...
we're gonna need a new computer.
Get us out of here.
Steve?
Oh, Steve.
You all right?
Steve.
Oscar.
You all right?
We're all right.
Okay.
Irina Leonova.
They've got to be gone.
Irina, the power of that thing
is incredible.
Do you know what it is?
But it's all right now, Steve.
We can track it down
with my equipment.
And Popov has a way
of destroying it.
CAPTAIN: Medic!
We need a medic over here!
Popov!
How's that? Any better?
Much better.
I must've strained a muscle
when I jumped into that ditch.
So you designed
that space probe?
Yes. It was supposed
to land on Venus.
We still don't know
what went wrong.
Why all the secrecy?
Why Popov and all his agents?
It's made out of a new alloy.
A super metal.
Major Popov is not in favor of
the sharing of scientific discoveries.
So he brought along a missile
that could destroy it.
Excuse me.
You asked to be kept informed of
Major Popov's condition, Miss?
Yes. How is he?
Well, he's got a concussion,
maybe a fractured rib.
He's gonna be out for
a couple of hours, or days.
Days?
Mr. Goldman would like
to see you, Colonel.
Thank you.
OSCAR: Here is where
the probe landed, Steve.
And here is where
it attacked the farmer.
Then it headed north.
Right.
Then it was reported here,
and here.
Irina told me it was designed to zigzag
while exploring the surface of Venus.
As far as it's concerned,
it's on the surface of Venus now.
Which brings us to
where we are now. Here.
And then it went north again.
North again.
The town is right in its path.
Less than two hours away.
We've gotta evacuate
that town, Steve.
What, in a few hours notice?
Do you know what kind of panic
you'll have on your hands?
What else can we do?
I could go after it.
No, no. You can't face
that thing alone.
I turned it away before.
Only temporarily.
It'll turn around again.
Well, maybe not.
At least give me a chance to try.
If it's too much to handle,
we'll do it your way, I promise.
You know, sometimes I think that
stubborn streak of yours is bionic, too.
Does that mean yes?
Locate it. Stall it.
Give me time.
But that's all!
(THUMPING)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
How are you feeling?
Much better.
Where's Steve?
Tracking the space probe.
Oh no, Oscar.
You've got to stop him!
Irina, you know that Steve is bionic.
If he's just...
You don't understand!
I designed that probe for Venus.
Venus, Oscar!
A planet with temperatures
up to 900 degrees...
300 mile an hour winds...
pressures equal to
90 Earth atmospheres...
clouds of sulfuric acid.
Even a bionic man couldn't
survive under those conditions.
And anything that could would be
more powerful than... Steve.
My God.
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(PROBE CIRCUIT CLICKING)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(PROBE CIRCUIT CLICKING)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(PROBE CIRCUIT CLICKING)
(END THEME MUSIC)