The Six Million Dollar Man (1974–1978): Season 4, Episode 11 - Task Force - full transcript
FLIGHT COM:
It looks good at NASA One.
B- 52 >PILOT:
Roger.
BCS Arm switch is on.
FLIGHT COM:
Okay, Victor.
B-52 PILOT: Landing Rocket Arm switch
is on. Here comes the throttle.
Circuit breakers in.
STEVE:
We have separation.
B-52 PILOT:
Inboard and outboards are on.
I'm comin' forward with the side stick.
FLIGHT COM:
Looks good.
PILOT:
Ah, Roger.
STEVE:
I've got a blowout in damper three.
SR-71 PILOT:
Get your pitch to zero.
STEVE:
Pitch is out. I can't hold altitude!
B-52 PILOT: Correction. Alpha Hold is oil“.
Threat selector is emergency.
STEVE: Flight Com. I can't hold it!
She's breaking up! She's breaking...
ANNOUNCER:
Steve Austin. Astronaut.
A man barely alive.
Gentlemen, we can rebuild him.
We have the technology.
We have the capability
to make the world's first bionic man.
Steve Austin will be that man.
Better than he was before.
Better, stronger, faster.
(MAIN TITLE THEME)
OSCAR: Memo, for eyes only,
to the Secretary, from Oscar Goldman.
Dear Mr. Secretary, I've received
word less than an hour ago...
that Project Hornet is operational.
I'm flying to San Diego in ten minutes...
to personally supervise its delivery.
Regarding the report that a mercenary army
is being recruited for a mission...
against this country or our allies.
Please be advised that
Colonel Steve Austin...
attached to the
Office of Scientific Intelligence...
went undercover three days ago in an
attempt to infiltrate said mercenary army.
Since then,
we've heard nothing from him.
(YELLS)
Not bad.
STEVE:
That's kid stuff.
You wouldn't think so
if that was your neck.
Can you do it, pal?
Well, do birds fly?
You got another board?
You got something a little thicker.
How thick do you want it?
This'll do.
I'll say this for you, pal,
you talk a good one.
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
Not a bad trick.
But what do you say to this?
I'd say, "Don't do that."
What's the matter, pretty boy?
You can't take it, huh?
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
I don't like it.
Hey, maybe pretty boy's
a little better than you think.
Yeah, well, let's find out, huh!
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
You move pretty good there, Mr...
Ferguson.
Ferguson.
Haven't we met before?
I don't think so.
What do you do for a living?
I bulldog refrigerators,
freezers, major appliances.
Doesn't pay too good, does it?
Two bills a week!
To me, good is 15.
Well, it can't be legal.
It's not.
You interested?
Well, 15 bills a week,
I'd force myself.
All right.
I need your driver's license and
your social security number.
What's your phone number?
555-2883.
You'll hear from us.
Maybe.
Callahan, I'm calling from San Diego.
Have you heard from Colonel Austin yet?
No, sir.
Well, when you do, tell him
his contact will be Woronski.
Woron... who?
Woronski.
W-O-R-O-N-S-K-l.
He just returned from
an assignment in Europe.
He's a top man.
When I heard he was available...
I contacted him and
asked him to work with Steve.
Okay, Mr. Goldman,
I'll tell Colonel Austin.
Callahan, I'm counting on you
to coordinate this now.
Won't let you down, Mr. Goldman.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
Well, Oscar, I just got their call.
I'm in their private army.
Callahan!
Hi.
Where's Oscar?
Don't worry, he's working on
something called Project Hornet...
but he briefed me completely.
Yeah, well, he was supposed
to give me a backup agent.
I know.
That's why I'm here.
To get you an undercover agent
you can relay information to.
Now I take it the mercenary
recruiter has talked to you?
Yeah, this morning.
They spent the day checking me out,
and they just called me.
I'm on my way to this
warehouse for a briefing.
Ah, good.
I'll inform Woronski.
Now, are there any problems
or special instructions?
Yeah, well there is one problem.
The recruiting sergeant
and I have met before.
That's terrible!
Yeah, but he doesn't remember where.
That's good.
But neither do I.
That's bad.
Anyway, run a check on him.
His name is Dave Harraway.
Colonel, any idea when
they're shipping you out?
In the morning.
I'll let you know where
after tonight's briefing.
Fine.
Thanks, Callahan.
Bye, Colonel.
Good luck!
Sharp! You look more like
a major than my old major did.
What about the army?
They buy it?
Why not? My orders and ID.
Were perfect forgeries.
How about the real Major Pell,
no chance of him showing up?
He's 6,000 miles away.
His fake orders read 30 days
detached service in Paris.
How do they look to you?
Well, they look tough enough.
Well, they hate the army, they've blown
it in civilian life, and they love money.
What about the one you thought you
recognized? What's his name? Ferguson.
It'll come to me.
(PHONE RINGING)
Woronski...
Callahan, I'm in the hospital.
What's the matter with you,
Woronski?
Appendicitis.
Oh, dear...
But weren't you supposed
to be Colonel Austin's contact?
Hey, I'm sick.
Hey, listen, Moron-ski,
I mean, I know...
if you gotta have your appendix out,
you gotta have your appendix out.
Cover for me.
What should I do?
He already left for the warehouse.
There's no time to get anybody else,
Callahan, you're it!
Oh, yeah?
Get going!
Okay.
Right.
Oh, dear.
Oh, my dear.
Okay, men, let's go.
We're moving out now.
What?
You said in the morning!
Orders have been changed.
Hey, I got a date tonight!
Oh, fine, Romley, keep your date, if she's
more important than $1,500 a week.
I don't know.
I guess I'll never find out.
Come on, let's go!
Sarge, I need a half hour
to pick up my gear.
Everything you need
will be issued to you.
Let's go!
HARRAWAY:
Welcome to Camp Sta-Fit, California.
Remember that.
Anyone comes by here,
or you talk to anyone in town...
the story is you're all
tired businessmen.
You come here for one week
of health food and physical conditioning.
Any questions?
All right, let's go to work!
HARRAWAY:
Faster, you bums!
The last guy to catch up
with me goes without water!
STEVE: Hey, Nick, you shouldn't
be running on that leg.
Sorry, Ferguson.
You were last.
I'm worried about you.
You better get the lead out.
How long you
had a bum knee, Nic?
What bum knee?
It's gettin' a bit tough to hide.
Is it bad?
It's bad enough to get me
washed out here.
But you need the money?
I need the money.
It's hard to find jobs with a lousy leg.
Well, stick with me,
maybe we can pull you through.
I owe you.
(STEPS APPROACHING)
I said he gets no water.
Hey, look!
It's my...
All right, rest period's over!
Let's get on it!
Ow!
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
That's another one
I owe you, buddy.
Hey! Cut the talk
and get on with it!
(CHATTER)
(BIONIC EYE SOUND EFFECT)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(METAL CREAKING)
All right, Ferguson, hold it!
You got just ten seconds
to explain before this thing goes off.
(GUN COCKS)
I am waiting, Ferguson!
Hey, Ferguson!
Yeah, Nic?
Where's the ball?
The guys are waiting on it.
Yeah, I got it!
It was on the roof just like you said.
Thanks, Nick.
Man, you take chances!
Why?
I thought maybe our outfits
were up there.
Well, what's your rush?
What do you care what
kind of uniform you wear?
I was just curious.
Hey, I'll tell you something...
for 15 big ones a week,
I might go fight for the Martians.
No phone calls.
Pardon me.
Hey, honey, how about a dance?
I'm sorry, sir, we're not allowed
to dance with the customers.
Yeah, well, I'm not a customer yet,
I haven't had a chance to order!
Okay.
Okay?
Now what kind of music
do you like there, little girl?
Callahan,
what are you doing here?
I'm your contact.
Does Oscar know about this?
No, I couldn't reach him,
he was on his way to San Diego.
What happened to Woronski?
He's in the hospital.
Appendix.
And Marley was sent
to the Middle East...
and I was running out of time.
How'd you find me?
I went to the warehouse to wait outside
and tell you I couldn't find a backup man.
And you followed us from there?
To the airport.
I was on the same plane.
Hmm? Hm-hmm?
Nice going, Callahan.
Can you get in touch with Oscar now?
He should be at the
San Diego base by now.
Well, that's good.
Tell him I still don't
know where we're going...
but we'll be wearing
US. Army uniforms.
US. Army?
Any information on where
I might've met Harraway?
Not yet.
We're gonna need a place to meet
in case I need to get in touch with you.
I'll be up in the hills
just north of your camp.
I've just developed a new hobby,
it's called rock collecting.
But how will you get a message to me?
I'll find away.
Thanks for the dance, honey.
Anytime.
Hey, Ferguson!
When you were in the Navy,
were you an officer?
Hey! That's it!
That's where we met!
Sure! I was the admiral
in charge of the fleet.
Yes, Callahan.
Yes, you acted
with great enterprise.
Any news from Colonel Austin?
Yes, he found the uniforms
and they are United States Army.
You're sure he said US. Army uniforms?
Yes, sir.
There's a major piece still
missing from this puzzle, Callahan.
You want me to do anything?
No, no, we can't act until Steve
finds out where they're going.
Then I'll just stay under cover.
That's right.
Stay with it.
And let me know the minute
that you hear something.
Yes, sir.
General.
Oscar.
Well, here it is!
A new generation of guided missiles.
Three times the power
of an ordinary missile...
and a guidance system
that's virtually foolproof.
Our job is to transport it from San Diego
to the Nevada testing site...
without dropping it.
Oscar, this bird cost very close
to 30 million dollars.
Now you've laid out a nice scenic route...
but doesn't it present security problems?
Major?
(OMINOUS MUSIC)
This is Major Pell,
he's in charge of security.
Major...
We've established a checkpoint
every ten miles along the way.
Besides that, Mr. Goldman
will be overhead in a helicopter...
monitoring the progress of the convoy
continually every step of the way.
I'll be in charge of security and
I will travel with the missile.
Very well.
Hey, Ned!
Come on! Get off me!
All right!
All right!
Whoa! Listen up!
Hold it, hold it!
Come on!
Okay.
Training is finished.
Tomorrow we move out.
Hey, where?
Hang it up.
Hang it up.
In the morning you'll be issued
uniforms and given your orders.
Why can't you tell us now?
Because I don't want any of you big
mouths spreading it around.
That's why.
And no one leaves the camp from
now until we move out in the morning.
Well, what are you talking about?
No last night in town?
What is that?
Come on, one last beer.
We'll have lights out at 10:00 tonight...
and anyone outside the barracks
after that will be shot!
I don't think you're kidding.
As long as it isn't 'Nam.
What do you care where we go?
(BIONIC EYE SOUND EFFECT)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(WHISTLING THROUGH AIR)
(THINGS SHATTER INSIDE)
MAN#1: Maybe Angola.
MAN#2: I figure it's the Congo.
MAN#3: No, I got it. It's one
of them Ay-rab countries.
MAN#2: As long as it ain't 'Nam.
Ferguson,
where do you think you're goin'?
Latrine.
Hey, man, are you crazy?
The Sarge upstairs is a heart attack.
You want to get shot?
It's not 10:00 yet,
I'll make it.
Hey, it ain't 10:00 yet.
What's the difference?
Hey, Ferguson?
Where's Ferguson?
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
HARRAWAY:
Esposito, what happened?
I don't know,
it might be the generator.
Get on it.
I want those lights on.
We're moving out tomorrow.
Destination? Mission?
He won't tell us until in the morning.
Well, how will you get word to me?
I'll leave a message on the bulletin
board at the main barracks.
When we've cleared the area,
you come down and pick it up.
How much longer?
Ah, a couple of minutes,
about all.
I got that report on Harraway.
He's a bad one.
I know that.
He served in Vietnam
with the Air Force.
He lost his stripes inciting a riot...
at a night club in Saigon
called Dirty Daisy's.
A year later
he was made sergeant...
but he was caught
selling airplane parts...
And that time he was court-martialed.
Court-martialed!
I kinda thought
that would bring it back.
It sure does.
And I sat on the board
that convicted him.
Mm-hm.
Colonel,
maybe you shouldn't go back.
What if he remembers?
Well, I just gotta find a way
to take his mind off of it.
Good bye.
Good bye.
Okay, it's done!
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
Throw the switch!
Okay, come on!
You guys check over there!
I just remembered where I met you.
This better be good.
Dirty Daisy's in Saigon.
The riot?
Yeah, you broke a chair over my head.
Yeah, I remember.
Okay.
If it was you I hit.
It took awhile,
but now we're square.
US. Army? No way!
I won't go.
You really don't want me to tell you
what to do with this uniform, do you?
Pick it up, Nicolini.
I went over the hill once,
if I gotta do it again, that's okay too.
You're not in the army,
the army is the target.
We're gonna take on
the US. Army?
That's right.
Where's this gonna happen?
Right here.
We don't even leave California!
The Army is moving their Hornet
missile to Nevada for test firing.
We're gonna hijack it for the parts.
Any questions?
Yeah, I got a question.
This missile, what if they
don't want to give it up?
That's a good one, Nicolini!
Come on over here and
I'll brief you on the battle plan.
All right.
There's a convoy
that'll be moving along here.
HARRAWAY (VO): They've been
on the road for a couple of hours now.
The man in charge,
Major Pell, is one of us.
Come on, Ferguson,
move it, move it!
Load up! Load up!
Think we oughta
police up the barracks?
Why?
When the Army starts
looking for their bird...
they're bound to
check this place out.
All the garbage we left around here,
they could pick up some leads.
Don't worry about it.
It's all gonna be taken care of.
Move out.
CALLAHAN (VO):
How will you get word to me?
STEVE: I'll leave a message
on the bulletin board.
When we clear the area,
you come down and pick it up.
There's no message from Steve.
There's no way to get to Oscar.
What's the problem here?
We got some bad cracks developed
from that tremor last week, Major...
so you're gonna have to use the tunnel
that's under construction there.
Is that safe?
Oh yes, sir.
It's just a lot of dust
and a read full of rocks.
So you slow down about five miles
an hour, switch on your lights.
Mr. Goldman.
I read you, Major.
No problem, we're gonna
have to use an alternate tunnel.
We'll be slowing down to about
five miles an hour.
Roger.
Turn on your lights and follow me.
Let's go.
Let's go!
(GAS HISSING)
Come on, let's go!
Let's go!
OSCAR:
We're falling behind schedule.
They should have been
out of there by now.
Okay?
We did it, man!
We brought it off!
So far.
Oh, boy, what a team!
Ferguson and Nicolini!
We could open our own store!
OSCAR:
Okay, we're back on schedule.
(BIONIC EYE SOUND EFFECT)
I guess that guy up there
thinks everything's okay.
Yeah.
If he gets suspicious
and comes down for a look...
Esposito and Kodin got
orders to blow him out of the sky.
Yeah.
This is Checkpoint Seven to Command.
We have the convoy spotted.
They are 15 seconds behind schedule.
We gotta get off this highway.
Not yet, there's a checkpoint
on the left we gotta pass first.
I am the one who flagged you down!
I didn't burn those buildings!
Then what are you doing here?
Sheriff,
what's your security rating?
Ma'am?
Sheriff, look, I have to make
an important phone call.
You're just gonna have
to patch me through.
Patch you through?
Yeah.
We passed it yet?
Yeah, now we gotta
get rid of the chopper.
Okay, dump it.
Mr. Goldman, this is Major Pell.
We've lost a vehicle!
Two men aboard.
I see it, Major.
It looks bad.
Well, there's no way we can get to it.
You'll have to drop down
and check for casualties.
Continue on and we'll catch up.
Right!
Drive on.
Let's go, come on!
Come on! Let's go!
Okay, now we're clear.
Take the next side road.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
Looks like they thought of everything.
(DEVICE BEEPING)
Any, Jim?
This is Oscar Goldman speaking.
Checkpoint Eight, sir.
Have you investigated the accident?
Yes, the pilot and I have
searched the whole area.
We found the Jeep,
but we can't find the two men.
Something else, sir.
The convoy is over three minutes late.
Well, that doesn't make sense.
They will have had to have passed
Checkpoint Eight by now!
No, sir, we've had
no sign of them.
All right, we're going back up.
Jim, we're going back up.
(CB BUZZING)
Mr. Goldman,
this is Callahan.
Callahan, I don't have time
to talk to you now.
Mr. Goldman, the mercenaries
moved out this morning.
Steve was with them,
but I don't know where they went.
Wait a minute.
Didn't Steve say something about
issuing some Army uniforms?
Yes, sir.
All right, thanks, Callahan.
It looks like a band of mercenaries
have stolen our missile.
Let's get out of here, Jim!
Hey!
Careful, careful!
Come on, Ferguson,
what's the holdup?
Well, this plate's frozen.
Well, put some muscle into it.
Harraway, can't you move them?
Look, these guys aren't technicians.
If I push 'em too hard
they're gonna break something.
Come on, Nicolini,
get the lead out!
Or what?
You're gonna court-martial me?
What!
Court-martial?
JUDGE (VO): A decision in the case
of Sergeant Dave Harraway.
The members of the Court-martial...
Lieutenant Colonel Aaron Clemmens...
Major Martin Lanning
and Major Steve Austin.
Major Steve Austin.
Major Steve Austin.
Okay, Ferguson, if you can't
handle the job, just get out of there...
and I'll get somebody
in there who can!
All right, all right!
Kodin, get in here!
What was that all about?
I just remembered where
I know Ferguson from.
Well?
When I was court-martialed,
he was Major Austin.
So he's a plant!
Yeah, but don't worry about it.
We're gonna plant him all right.
You take this last case of explosives...
and put it in the back
of that Jeep and cover it.
All right, you guys,
out of those uniforms and fast.
Careful.
I got it.
Okay, lock that up and then all
you guys line up and get paid off.
Gettin' paid?
All right! Bread on the table
and shoes on the feet.
Oscar.
Oscar, can you hear me?
Steve!
HARRAWAY:
Ferguson!
Have you got the missile?
Where are you?!
Oscar, just listen. We're at...
Ferguson!
Steve!
Nothing!
You want to get paid, don't you?
Sure, I wouldn't want to miss that.
Esposito.
Hey, next time you get another
easy job like this, you let me know, eh?
Yeah, sure.
Okay, now we don't want to
attract any attention on the road...
so we're all gonna split up.
You three guys take that
sedan and head east.
You and your buddy, Nicolini,
take that Jeep and follow me.
At the highway intersection,
you guys go south, Pell and I'll go west.
Okay.
Let's get out of here!
This is Checkpoint Eight,
still no sign of the convoy, Mr. Goldman.
OSCAR: They've got to be somewhere
between Checkpoint Seven and Eight.
You shoulda seen Harraway's face when
I kidded him about court-martialing me.
Well, what do you mean?
Well, he looked like
he sees a ghost...
and then he starts
yellin' at you.
He remembered.
Huh?
Nothing.
OSCAR: Where are you, Steve?
(BIONIC EYE SOUND EFFECT)
It's a double-cross!
What?
Bail out!
Are you kidding?
Jump! Jump!
I'd say Major Austin has held
his last court-martial.
Are you all right?
Yeah, what happened?
It went up like a bomb!
Yeah, it was a bomb.
How do you know?
I'm gonna go for help.
Good luck, Nic.
Yeah, you too, buddy.
It was a great war while it lasted.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
Hey, what the... Get him off!
How...?
HARRAWAY:
I can't see!
PELL: Look out!
(CRASH)
(BIONIC EYE SOUND EFFECT)
Check on a Major Sidney Pell
who's on detached service in Paris.
Right.
Bye.
That Major's gonna be mighty
unhappy when he finds out...
that his assignment
in Paris has been cut short.
They check out the components?
Nothing missing.
The regular Army people were
found locked up in a van...
safe, healthy, a little groggy.
Want another beer?
Sure.
Miss? Can I have
another beer, please?
Did they get the mercenaries?
By the way, a man named Nicolini?
He told me to say hello.
When he gets out of jail,
he wants to look you up.
He says that you two would
make a great team.
Callahan.
Yes, sirs.
Callahan, the case is closed.
It is?
And you did a great job.
Thank you, sir.
Well, Callahan,
you're finished here.
Well, not exactly.
Huh?
Hi.
See it's a really lovely town...
and the people really
are very friendly.
Excuse me, please?
Hi.
Hi.
(ROMANTIC MUSIC)
(END THEME MUSIC)
It looks good at NASA One.
B- 52 >PILOT:
Roger.
BCS Arm switch is on.
FLIGHT COM:
Okay, Victor.
B-52 PILOT: Landing Rocket Arm switch
is on. Here comes the throttle.
Circuit breakers in.
STEVE:
We have separation.
B-52 PILOT:
Inboard and outboards are on.
I'm comin' forward with the side stick.
FLIGHT COM:
Looks good.
PILOT:
Ah, Roger.
STEVE:
I've got a blowout in damper three.
SR-71 PILOT:
Get your pitch to zero.
STEVE:
Pitch is out. I can't hold altitude!
B-52 PILOT: Correction. Alpha Hold is oil“.
Threat selector is emergency.
STEVE: Flight Com. I can't hold it!
She's breaking up! She's breaking...
ANNOUNCER:
Steve Austin. Astronaut.
A man barely alive.
Gentlemen, we can rebuild him.
We have the technology.
We have the capability
to make the world's first bionic man.
Steve Austin will be that man.
Better than he was before.
Better, stronger, faster.
(MAIN TITLE THEME)
OSCAR: Memo, for eyes only,
to the Secretary, from Oscar Goldman.
Dear Mr. Secretary, I've received
word less than an hour ago...
that Project Hornet is operational.
I'm flying to San Diego in ten minutes...
to personally supervise its delivery.
Regarding the report that a mercenary army
is being recruited for a mission...
against this country or our allies.
Please be advised that
Colonel Steve Austin...
attached to the
Office of Scientific Intelligence...
went undercover three days ago in an
attempt to infiltrate said mercenary army.
Since then,
we've heard nothing from him.
(YELLS)
Not bad.
STEVE:
That's kid stuff.
You wouldn't think so
if that was your neck.
Can you do it, pal?
Well, do birds fly?
You got another board?
You got something a little thicker.
How thick do you want it?
This'll do.
I'll say this for you, pal,
you talk a good one.
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
Not a bad trick.
But what do you say to this?
I'd say, "Don't do that."
What's the matter, pretty boy?
You can't take it, huh?
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
I don't like it.
Hey, maybe pretty boy's
a little better than you think.
Yeah, well, let's find out, huh!
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
You move pretty good there, Mr...
Ferguson.
Ferguson.
Haven't we met before?
I don't think so.
What do you do for a living?
I bulldog refrigerators,
freezers, major appliances.
Doesn't pay too good, does it?
Two bills a week!
To me, good is 15.
Well, it can't be legal.
It's not.
You interested?
Well, 15 bills a week,
I'd force myself.
All right.
I need your driver's license and
your social security number.
What's your phone number?
555-2883.
You'll hear from us.
Maybe.
Callahan, I'm calling from San Diego.
Have you heard from Colonel Austin yet?
No, sir.
Well, when you do, tell him
his contact will be Woronski.
Woron... who?
Woronski.
W-O-R-O-N-S-K-l.
He just returned from
an assignment in Europe.
He's a top man.
When I heard he was available...
I contacted him and
asked him to work with Steve.
Okay, Mr. Goldman,
I'll tell Colonel Austin.
Callahan, I'm counting on you
to coordinate this now.
Won't let you down, Mr. Goldman.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
Well, Oscar, I just got their call.
I'm in their private army.
Callahan!
Hi.
Where's Oscar?
Don't worry, he's working on
something called Project Hornet...
but he briefed me completely.
Yeah, well, he was supposed
to give me a backup agent.
I know.
That's why I'm here.
To get you an undercover agent
you can relay information to.
Now I take it the mercenary
recruiter has talked to you?
Yeah, this morning.
They spent the day checking me out,
and they just called me.
I'm on my way to this
warehouse for a briefing.
Ah, good.
I'll inform Woronski.
Now, are there any problems
or special instructions?
Yeah, well there is one problem.
The recruiting sergeant
and I have met before.
That's terrible!
Yeah, but he doesn't remember where.
That's good.
But neither do I.
That's bad.
Anyway, run a check on him.
His name is Dave Harraway.
Colonel, any idea when
they're shipping you out?
In the morning.
I'll let you know where
after tonight's briefing.
Fine.
Thanks, Callahan.
Bye, Colonel.
Good luck!
Sharp! You look more like
a major than my old major did.
What about the army?
They buy it?
Why not? My orders and ID.
Were perfect forgeries.
How about the real Major Pell,
no chance of him showing up?
He's 6,000 miles away.
His fake orders read 30 days
detached service in Paris.
How do they look to you?
Well, they look tough enough.
Well, they hate the army, they've blown
it in civilian life, and they love money.
What about the one you thought you
recognized? What's his name? Ferguson.
It'll come to me.
(PHONE RINGING)
Woronski...
Callahan, I'm in the hospital.
What's the matter with you,
Woronski?
Appendicitis.
Oh, dear...
But weren't you supposed
to be Colonel Austin's contact?
Hey, I'm sick.
Hey, listen, Moron-ski,
I mean, I know...
if you gotta have your appendix out,
you gotta have your appendix out.
Cover for me.
What should I do?
He already left for the warehouse.
There's no time to get anybody else,
Callahan, you're it!
Oh, yeah?
Get going!
Okay.
Right.
Oh, dear.
Oh, my dear.
Okay, men, let's go.
We're moving out now.
What?
You said in the morning!
Orders have been changed.
Hey, I got a date tonight!
Oh, fine, Romley, keep your date, if she's
more important than $1,500 a week.
I don't know.
I guess I'll never find out.
Come on, let's go!
Sarge, I need a half hour
to pick up my gear.
Everything you need
will be issued to you.
Let's go!
HARRAWAY:
Welcome to Camp Sta-Fit, California.
Remember that.
Anyone comes by here,
or you talk to anyone in town...
the story is you're all
tired businessmen.
You come here for one week
of health food and physical conditioning.
Any questions?
All right, let's go to work!
HARRAWAY:
Faster, you bums!
The last guy to catch up
with me goes without water!
STEVE: Hey, Nick, you shouldn't
be running on that leg.
Sorry, Ferguson.
You were last.
I'm worried about you.
You better get the lead out.
How long you
had a bum knee, Nic?
What bum knee?
It's gettin' a bit tough to hide.
Is it bad?
It's bad enough to get me
washed out here.
But you need the money?
I need the money.
It's hard to find jobs with a lousy leg.
Well, stick with me,
maybe we can pull you through.
I owe you.
(STEPS APPROACHING)
I said he gets no water.
Hey, look!
It's my...
All right, rest period's over!
Let's get on it!
Ow!
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
That's another one
I owe you, buddy.
Hey! Cut the talk
and get on with it!
(CHATTER)
(BIONIC EYE SOUND EFFECT)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(METAL CREAKING)
All right, Ferguson, hold it!
You got just ten seconds
to explain before this thing goes off.
(GUN COCKS)
I am waiting, Ferguson!
Hey, Ferguson!
Yeah, Nic?
Where's the ball?
The guys are waiting on it.
Yeah, I got it!
It was on the roof just like you said.
Thanks, Nick.
Man, you take chances!
Why?
I thought maybe our outfits
were up there.
Well, what's your rush?
What do you care what
kind of uniform you wear?
I was just curious.
Hey, I'll tell you something...
for 15 big ones a week,
I might go fight for the Martians.
No phone calls.
Pardon me.
Hey, honey, how about a dance?
I'm sorry, sir, we're not allowed
to dance with the customers.
Yeah, well, I'm not a customer yet,
I haven't had a chance to order!
Okay.
Okay?
Now what kind of music
do you like there, little girl?
Callahan,
what are you doing here?
I'm your contact.
Does Oscar know about this?
No, I couldn't reach him,
he was on his way to San Diego.
What happened to Woronski?
He's in the hospital.
Appendix.
And Marley was sent
to the Middle East...
and I was running out of time.
How'd you find me?
I went to the warehouse to wait outside
and tell you I couldn't find a backup man.
And you followed us from there?
To the airport.
I was on the same plane.
Hmm? Hm-hmm?
Nice going, Callahan.
Can you get in touch with Oscar now?
He should be at the
San Diego base by now.
Well, that's good.
Tell him I still don't
know where we're going...
but we'll be wearing
US. Army uniforms.
US. Army?
Any information on where
I might've met Harraway?
Not yet.
We're gonna need a place to meet
in case I need to get in touch with you.
I'll be up in the hills
just north of your camp.
I've just developed a new hobby,
it's called rock collecting.
But how will you get a message to me?
I'll find away.
Thanks for the dance, honey.
Anytime.
Hey, Ferguson!
When you were in the Navy,
were you an officer?
Hey! That's it!
That's where we met!
Sure! I was the admiral
in charge of the fleet.
Yes, Callahan.
Yes, you acted
with great enterprise.
Any news from Colonel Austin?
Yes, he found the uniforms
and they are United States Army.
You're sure he said US. Army uniforms?
Yes, sir.
There's a major piece still
missing from this puzzle, Callahan.
You want me to do anything?
No, no, we can't act until Steve
finds out where they're going.
Then I'll just stay under cover.
That's right.
Stay with it.
And let me know the minute
that you hear something.
Yes, sir.
General.
Oscar.
Well, here it is!
A new generation of guided missiles.
Three times the power
of an ordinary missile...
and a guidance system
that's virtually foolproof.
Our job is to transport it from San Diego
to the Nevada testing site...
without dropping it.
Oscar, this bird cost very close
to 30 million dollars.
Now you've laid out a nice scenic route...
but doesn't it present security problems?
Major?
(OMINOUS MUSIC)
This is Major Pell,
he's in charge of security.
Major...
We've established a checkpoint
every ten miles along the way.
Besides that, Mr. Goldman
will be overhead in a helicopter...
monitoring the progress of the convoy
continually every step of the way.
I'll be in charge of security and
I will travel with the missile.
Very well.
Hey, Ned!
Come on! Get off me!
All right!
All right!
Whoa! Listen up!
Hold it, hold it!
Come on!
Okay.
Training is finished.
Tomorrow we move out.
Hey, where?
Hang it up.
Hang it up.
In the morning you'll be issued
uniforms and given your orders.
Why can't you tell us now?
Because I don't want any of you big
mouths spreading it around.
That's why.
And no one leaves the camp from
now until we move out in the morning.
Well, what are you talking about?
No last night in town?
What is that?
Come on, one last beer.
We'll have lights out at 10:00 tonight...
and anyone outside the barracks
after that will be shot!
I don't think you're kidding.
As long as it isn't 'Nam.
What do you care where we go?
(BIONIC EYE SOUND EFFECT)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(WHISTLING THROUGH AIR)
(THINGS SHATTER INSIDE)
MAN#1: Maybe Angola.
MAN#2: I figure it's the Congo.
MAN#3: No, I got it. It's one
of them Ay-rab countries.
MAN#2: As long as it ain't 'Nam.
Ferguson,
where do you think you're goin'?
Latrine.
Hey, man, are you crazy?
The Sarge upstairs is a heart attack.
You want to get shot?
It's not 10:00 yet,
I'll make it.
Hey, it ain't 10:00 yet.
What's the difference?
Hey, Ferguson?
Where's Ferguson?
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
HARRAWAY:
Esposito, what happened?
I don't know,
it might be the generator.
Get on it.
I want those lights on.
We're moving out tomorrow.
Destination? Mission?
He won't tell us until in the morning.
Well, how will you get word to me?
I'll leave a message on the bulletin
board at the main barracks.
When we've cleared the area,
you come down and pick it up.
How much longer?
Ah, a couple of minutes,
about all.
I got that report on Harraway.
He's a bad one.
I know that.
He served in Vietnam
with the Air Force.
He lost his stripes inciting a riot...
at a night club in Saigon
called Dirty Daisy's.
A year later
he was made sergeant...
but he was caught
selling airplane parts...
And that time he was court-martialed.
Court-martialed!
I kinda thought
that would bring it back.
It sure does.
And I sat on the board
that convicted him.
Mm-hm.
Colonel,
maybe you shouldn't go back.
What if he remembers?
Well, I just gotta find a way
to take his mind off of it.
Good bye.
Good bye.
Okay, it's done!
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
Throw the switch!
Okay, come on!
You guys check over there!
I just remembered where I met you.
This better be good.
Dirty Daisy's in Saigon.
The riot?
Yeah, you broke a chair over my head.
Yeah, I remember.
Okay.
If it was you I hit.
It took awhile,
but now we're square.
US. Army? No way!
I won't go.
You really don't want me to tell you
what to do with this uniform, do you?
Pick it up, Nicolini.
I went over the hill once,
if I gotta do it again, that's okay too.
You're not in the army,
the army is the target.
We're gonna take on
the US. Army?
That's right.
Where's this gonna happen?
Right here.
We don't even leave California!
The Army is moving their Hornet
missile to Nevada for test firing.
We're gonna hijack it for the parts.
Any questions?
Yeah, I got a question.
This missile, what if they
don't want to give it up?
That's a good one, Nicolini!
Come on over here and
I'll brief you on the battle plan.
All right.
There's a convoy
that'll be moving along here.
HARRAWAY (VO): They've been
on the road for a couple of hours now.
The man in charge,
Major Pell, is one of us.
Come on, Ferguson,
move it, move it!
Load up! Load up!
Think we oughta
police up the barracks?
Why?
When the Army starts
looking for their bird...
they're bound to
check this place out.
All the garbage we left around here,
they could pick up some leads.
Don't worry about it.
It's all gonna be taken care of.
Move out.
CALLAHAN (VO):
How will you get word to me?
STEVE: I'll leave a message
on the bulletin board.
When we clear the area,
you come down and pick it up.
There's no message from Steve.
There's no way to get to Oscar.
What's the problem here?
We got some bad cracks developed
from that tremor last week, Major...
so you're gonna have to use the tunnel
that's under construction there.
Is that safe?
Oh yes, sir.
It's just a lot of dust
and a read full of rocks.
So you slow down about five miles
an hour, switch on your lights.
Mr. Goldman.
I read you, Major.
No problem, we're gonna
have to use an alternate tunnel.
We'll be slowing down to about
five miles an hour.
Roger.
Turn on your lights and follow me.
Let's go.
Let's go!
(GAS HISSING)
Come on, let's go!
Let's go!
OSCAR:
We're falling behind schedule.
They should have been
out of there by now.
Okay?
We did it, man!
We brought it off!
So far.
Oh, boy, what a team!
Ferguson and Nicolini!
We could open our own store!
OSCAR:
Okay, we're back on schedule.
(BIONIC EYE SOUND EFFECT)
I guess that guy up there
thinks everything's okay.
Yeah.
If he gets suspicious
and comes down for a look...
Esposito and Kodin got
orders to blow him out of the sky.
Yeah.
This is Checkpoint Seven to Command.
We have the convoy spotted.
They are 15 seconds behind schedule.
We gotta get off this highway.
Not yet, there's a checkpoint
on the left we gotta pass first.
I am the one who flagged you down!
I didn't burn those buildings!
Then what are you doing here?
Sheriff,
what's your security rating?
Ma'am?
Sheriff, look, I have to make
an important phone call.
You're just gonna have
to patch me through.
Patch you through?
Yeah.
We passed it yet?
Yeah, now we gotta
get rid of the chopper.
Okay, dump it.
Mr. Goldman, this is Major Pell.
We've lost a vehicle!
Two men aboard.
I see it, Major.
It looks bad.
Well, there's no way we can get to it.
You'll have to drop down
and check for casualties.
Continue on and we'll catch up.
Right!
Drive on.
Let's go, come on!
Come on! Let's go!
Okay, now we're clear.
Take the next side road.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
Looks like they thought of everything.
(DEVICE BEEPING)
Any, Jim?
This is Oscar Goldman speaking.
Checkpoint Eight, sir.
Have you investigated the accident?
Yes, the pilot and I have
searched the whole area.
We found the Jeep,
but we can't find the two men.
Something else, sir.
The convoy is over three minutes late.
Well, that doesn't make sense.
They will have had to have passed
Checkpoint Eight by now!
No, sir, we've had
no sign of them.
All right, we're going back up.
Jim, we're going back up.
(CB BUZZING)
Mr. Goldman,
this is Callahan.
Callahan, I don't have time
to talk to you now.
Mr. Goldman, the mercenaries
moved out this morning.
Steve was with them,
but I don't know where they went.
Wait a minute.
Didn't Steve say something about
issuing some Army uniforms?
Yes, sir.
All right, thanks, Callahan.
It looks like a band of mercenaries
have stolen our missile.
Let's get out of here, Jim!
Hey!
Careful, careful!
Come on, Ferguson,
what's the holdup?
Well, this plate's frozen.
Well, put some muscle into it.
Harraway, can't you move them?
Look, these guys aren't technicians.
If I push 'em too hard
they're gonna break something.
Come on, Nicolini,
get the lead out!
Or what?
You're gonna court-martial me?
What!
Court-martial?
JUDGE (VO): A decision in the case
of Sergeant Dave Harraway.
The members of the Court-martial...
Lieutenant Colonel Aaron Clemmens...
Major Martin Lanning
and Major Steve Austin.
Major Steve Austin.
Major Steve Austin.
Okay, Ferguson, if you can't
handle the job, just get out of there...
and I'll get somebody
in there who can!
All right, all right!
Kodin, get in here!
What was that all about?
I just remembered where
I know Ferguson from.
Well?
When I was court-martialed,
he was Major Austin.
So he's a plant!
Yeah, but don't worry about it.
We're gonna plant him all right.
You take this last case of explosives...
and put it in the back
of that Jeep and cover it.
All right, you guys,
out of those uniforms and fast.
Careful.
I got it.
Okay, lock that up and then all
you guys line up and get paid off.
Gettin' paid?
All right! Bread on the table
and shoes on the feet.
Oscar.
Oscar, can you hear me?
Steve!
HARRAWAY:
Ferguson!
Have you got the missile?
Where are you?!
Oscar, just listen. We're at...
Ferguson!
Steve!
Nothing!
You want to get paid, don't you?
Sure, I wouldn't want to miss that.
Esposito.
Hey, next time you get another
easy job like this, you let me know, eh?
Yeah, sure.
Okay, now we don't want to
attract any attention on the road...
so we're all gonna split up.
You three guys take that
sedan and head east.
You and your buddy, Nicolini,
take that Jeep and follow me.
At the highway intersection,
you guys go south, Pell and I'll go west.
Okay.
Let's get out of here!
This is Checkpoint Eight,
still no sign of the convoy, Mr. Goldman.
OSCAR: They've got to be somewhere
between Checkpoint Seven and Eight.
You shoulda seen Harraway's face when
I kidded him about court-martialing me.
Well, what do you mean?
Well, he looked like
he sees a ghost...
and then he starts
yellin' at you.
He remembered.
Huh?
Nothing.
OSCAR: Where are you, Steve?
(BIONIC EYE SOUND EFFECT)
It's a double-cross!
What?
Bail out!
Are you kidding?
Jump! Jump!
I'd say Major Austin has held
his last court-martial.
Are you all right?
Yeah, what happened?
It went up like a bomb!
Yeah, it was a bomb.
How do you know?
I'm gonna go for help.
Good luck, Nic.
Yeah, you too, buddy.
It was a great war while it lasted.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
Hey, what the... Get him off!
How...?
HARRAWAY:
I can't see!
PELL: Look out!
(CRASH)
(BIONIC EYE SOUND EFFECT)
Check on a Major Sidney Pell
who's on detached service in Paris.
Right.
Bye.
That Major's gonna be mighty
unhappy when he finds out...
that his assignment
in Paris has been cut short.
They check out the components?
Nothing missing.
The regular Army people were
found locked up in a van...
safe, healthy, a little groggy.
Want another beer?
Sure.
Miss? Can I have
another beer, please?
Did they get the mercenaries?
By the way, a man named Nicolini?
He told me to say hello.
When he gets out of jail,
he wants to look you up.
He says that you two would
make a great team.
Callahan.
Yes, sirs.
Callahan, the case is closed.
It is?
And you did a great job.
Thank you, sir.
Well, Callahan,
you're finished here.
Well, not exactly.
Huh?
Hi.
See it's a really lovely town...
and the people really
are very friendly.
Excuse me, please?
Hi.
Hi.
(ROMANTIC MUSIC)
(END THEME MUSIC)