The Six Million Dollar Man (1974–1978): Season 3, Episode 9 - The Bionic Criminal - full transcript
Oscar and Rudy are performing a test on Barney Hiller to see if his bionic power can be turned on and off again when needed. A concerned Steve Austin proposes to keep an eye on Barney for the full 48 hours he has possession of his full strength. After competing in a car race, Barney loses control, panics and turns to a former O.S.I scientist who wants to use him for criminal purposes.
FLIGHT COM:
It looks good at NASA One.
B- 52 >PILOT:
Roger.
BCS Arm switch is on.
FLIGHT COM:
Okay, Victor.
B-52 PILOT:
Landing Rocket Arm switch is on.
Here comes the throttle.
Circuit breakers in.
STEVE:
We have separation.
B-52 PILOT:
Inboard and outboards are on.
I'm comin' forward with the side stick.
FLIGHT COM:
Looks good.
PILOT:
Ah, Roger.
STEVE:
I've got a blowout in damper three.
SR-71 PILOT:
Get your pitch to zero.
STEVE:
Pitch is out. I can't hold altitude!
B-52 PILOT: Correction. Alpha Hold is oil“.
Threat selector is emergency.
STEVE: Flight Com. I can't hold it!
She's breaking up! She's breaking...
ANNOUNCER:
Steve Austin. Astronaut.
A man barely alive.
Gentlemen, we can rebuild him.
We have the technology.
We have the capability
to make the world's first bionic man.
Steve Austin will be that man.
Better than he was before.
Better, stronger, faster.
(MAIN TITLE THEME)
(BEEPS)
(70$ POP MUSIC)
Some people got it made.
Steve!
How are you?
You look great!
I'm so glad to see you! And they
told me you were away on business.
Well, the business is finished...
and you look great.
Barney will be
so happy to see you.
Steve, we did it!
We got married!
Hey.
Can you imagine?
Well, congratulations, Mrs. Hiller.
Three wonderful months ago today...
Well, I've tried to keep tabs
on you two.
Well, no one could do that.
Just so long as you're still
on Barney's team.
Well, you know I am.
Then that's all that's important
to me... and to Barney.
When you two first met...
I wasn't sure whether
you'd ever be friends.
Yeah, I know what you mean.
(CHIMES)
Ready?
Go.
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
Did you really think that
when the great Oscar Goldman...
pushed one of his little buttons
and ordered up you...
his brand-new bionic gadget...
do you really think he only ordered
one of a kind?
Wrong.
(CHIMES)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
It's wild, Steve, it's wild!
(CHIMES)
Barney, I've had it with you!
Up to here!
Now wait a minute.
Nobody forced you to be bionic.
They made a bionic man out of you
and you can't handle it, okay.
But you're gonna stop knocking people
around, understand?
All right! All right!
What do you want me to say,
it's true.
You think I like
what I'm turning into?
Look, you're too valuable a person
to throw it all away.
Valuable?
Let me tell you what valuable is!
I drove the fastest race cars in the world...
and I did it better than anybody else.
Indy, La Mans,
I won it all, everything!
BARNEY:
That had value.
You know what's really driving me nuts?
What?
Do you know what's driving me nuts,
Stevie boy?
Because you made it,
and I can't.
(CHIMES)
What it means is that Dr. Wells will
neutralize your bionic power.
Now nothing else will change,
Barney.
Except when it came to strength,
you'd be normal.
What's the matter, Stevie Boy,
you afraid of the competition?
Well, no way!
(CHIMES)
(BEEPING)
Well, your body's reacting normally to the
reduction in bionic power, I'm happy to say.
How much longer?
Oh, two,
maybe three days at the most.
Then we'll have to run some tests.
Don't go away.
(BEEPING CONTINUES)
I know, in the next world he's probably
going to be some laser beam...
with overhead cams or something,
but for now....
Say, what's he in with Rudy for,
a checkup or something?
No.
I guess you were out of town
and they couldn't tell you.
Steve!
Steve!
Hello, Steve.
Oscar, when you deactivated Barney,
we agreed...
Rudy and I have given this very
careful consideration, Steve.
The man can't handle bionic strength!
You know that.
And so do you, Rudy!
STEVE: Why are you doing it?
Why make another bionic time bomb?
This is an entirely different
situation, Steve.
It's a controlled experiment.
Oscar, you can't control him,
not if he doesn't want to be controlled.
(MOANS)
Well, that concludes
the circuit functions.
Disconnect the panels.
Barney Hiller is now fully bionic.
Well, he'll be coming around
in a minute or two.
Why take this risk?
A very highly placed general has
become privy to our bionic experiments.
He looks to the time when
our country might need 100 bionic men.
All bionically deactivated
as Barney is now in peace time.
And, in the event of
a national emergency...
You could reactivate them.
Exactly.
This business of reactivation and
deactivation...
is something we've never had
a chance to experiment with.
And now we have our subject.
Barney.
You could have used me.
Too risky, Steve.
We have no way of knowing
how much power can be reactivated...
or what the side effects might be.
If we had experimented with you...
you might never regain the
full power that you now have.
We couldn't take that chance.
I'm too valuable.
And Barney's expendable,
is that it?
In a manner of speaking, yes.
OSCAR: If he doesn't
live up to his capabilities...
we've lost nothing.
We simply deactivate him...
and we know
what we have to work on.
And Barney agreed to all this?
He did.
It's for a testing period of 48 hours,
that's all.
He said he'd be glad to help.
I know you disagree with
what we're doing...
but now that it's done...
will you help us out?
OSCAR: Steve, we want to check
his bionic strength against yours.
Will you help us?
(GROANS)
Hey, Rudy.
Wow.
What a sleep.
How do you feel, Barney?
Feel fine.
A little loggy, that's all.
Hey, Steve!
Hi, Barney.
It's great to see you again,
old buddy.
So what do you think of
these guys?
Juicin' me up again so they can
run me around the track...
see how the old
engine's holding up.
Yeah, they're clever all right.
Hey, Rudy, is it okay
for me to get up?
If you feel like it.
Oh, yeah.
I feel like it.
Feel great.
(CHUCKLES)
Really together. I mean...
lfeel... great.
Yeah.
Good, then we can begin with the testing.
Well? What do you say, pal?
Sure, let's get this thing
over with.
Ay, come on, Steve.
Now don't rush me.
I've only got 48 hours to play
Superman again.
I want to enjoy every minute.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
(MUSIC CONTINUES)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
Okay, Barney.
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(MUSIC CONTINUES)
Nice going.
Yeah.
Hey, what time is it?
About 9:30.
I gotta get to the track.
The track?
I got a car to run... If everything goes well,
there's a possibility of a race on Saturday.
Does Oscar know about this?
Sure, I told them
I need a few hours off.
Look, Steve, I'm a professional driver,
I mean, that's what I do.
They couldn't get
the car ready until today.
Well, they should have scheduled
these tests some other time.
Well, they couldn't.
If I get the car to drive,
I'll be tied up from Saturday until...
until I stop winning.
Why?
What's the difference?
You're looking good, Barney.
Far better than I expected.
It feels good.
I feel good.
But I think old Steve has a problem.
Barney here tells me
you've given him a little time off.
We had to schedule this
as best we could, Steve.
That was my one condition.
Look, I'm going to go shower and change.
I'll see you all this afternoon, right?
Fine.
Good.
What track, Barney?
It's out at Coghill.
Later.
I thought you said this was
supposed to be a controlled experiment.
You don't think that we should
let him out of our sight, huh?
Not for one minute.
(ENGINE ROARING)
How's he doing?
He's done better.
It's quite a place.
What you mean is, this looks like
the bottom of the barrel, right?
For a man who's raced
at Indianapolis...
(TIRES SCREECHING)
(ENGINE ROARING)
Has he been winning?
No.
And it tears him up inside, Steve.
Me, too.
(TIRES SCREECHING)
I thought maybe he'd take that
design offer and quit driving...
but when he heard Oscar wanted
to tune him up again...
he called Shatley.
Shatley?
The owner of the car.
Barney told him he was in top shape
and he could really give his car a ride.
You mean, Barney arranged this
after he knew of Oscar's plans?
He's desperate for a win, Steve.
But before you can win,
you've got to get a ride.
Any ride.
(ENGINE ROARING)
(TIRES SCREECHING)
(ENGINE REVS)
(ENGINE REVS)
It's the front end, Tom.
It is, huh?
Yeah, there's something wrong.
I checked this car this morning,
it was perfect.
Perfect, huh? Well, I'm telling you
it's off, I ought'a know.
You saying that's why
you spun her out?
What else? I wasn't going that fast.
Look, I coulda put my foot through the floor
of this turkey and blown your engine...
is that what you want?
Tom, I was just feeling her out
and she spun on me.
Are you gonna check out this front end
or do I have to?
I'll check her out.
Okay.
John!
(CAR ENGINE STARTS)
Mr. Hiller?
Yeah.
My name is Burstyn...
we spoke on the phone
a few months ago, remember?
Yeah, well...
Look, Mr. Burstyn, if everything
in my life goes down the tubes...
you'd still be wasting your time.
My dear friend...
I'm not your dear friend.
You're lucky I didn't report you to Oscar
Goldman the first time you called me.
Yeah, I suppose I am.
The fact is you didn't tell Goldman.
And another fact is...
at this very moment
you're bionically activated...
and will be for 48 hours.
Who's that Barney's talking to?
I don't know.
(BIONIC EYE SOUND EFFECT)
Okay, so you have a friend in
Rudy Wells' lab who tells you things.
We could make millions.
You really believe in living
dangerously, don't you?
If I told Goldman what you had in mind,
you'd be locked up in a flash.
I know, but somehow, unless
I've seriously misjudged you...
I don't think I have to
worry about that.
Well, don't bet on it.
Hi, Barney.
Well, did you come to root for me
or did Oscar send you?
Well, both. What happened?
You spun out down there.
That's the car.
Oh.
Shatley, the owner, says it's me,
that I'm not getting everything out of it.
Well, are you?
I don't know.
Man, I am trying.
Somehow I felt today I could...
I don't know.
That's why you had your bionics
tuned up, isn't it, Barney?
You know, bionic strength
can't make a car go faster.
It can make me feel better.
I didn't start losing
until Rudy tuned me down.
Well, he only put you back to normal.
Normal? How do you know
what's normal for me?
BARNEY:
How can Rudy tell what's normal for me?
To win, you've gotta have just the
right reflexes, just the right touch.
Well, I haven't won anything
since they made me bionic.
I've hardly even finished a race.
No, Rudy didn't put me back to normal.
Not my normal.
Before, I won everything,
everything in sight.
That was normal for me.
Barney, you had a near fatal accident.
That's got to affect your driving.
Yeah, a man with no arms and no legs,
isn't quite the same, is he?
Well, you've got both arms, legs.
Sure.
And a nice monthly pension
from good, old Oscar Goldman.
They saved my life.
They made me bionic...
but they couldn't give me back
what I had that made me special.
The timing, the reflexes...
Look, I gotta go.
Barney, that man you were
talking to, who is he?
I've seen him someplace.
I don't know... he, uh...
said something about
TV commercials.
Well?
There's nothing wrong
with this car.
Then you're still saying it's me.
I'm saying this car is
in perfect shape.
You've got to let it out.
You think I can?
Show me.
All right. Take him out!
(ENGINE SPUTTERS, THEN ROARS)
(ENGINE ROARING)
How's he doing?
Not bad... for city traffic.
(TIRES SCREECHING)
It's not the end of the world,
Barney.
Well, if your world is racing?
Well, everybody has an off day.
No! It had to be the car!
I couldn't have been off
that much.
Hey, look, Steve,
wait for me, will you?
I want to have a few things
out with Shatley.
Yeah, well, keep cool, huh?
Yeah, sure, sure.
Everything that I asked for,
that's all I want.
Tom?
Now look, Tom, I'm telling you,
there's gotta be something wrong.
There is.
It's you, Barney.
No! It's the car.
It's gotta be the car.
That's funny.
I had Ray Collins take it out this morning,
he tore up the track, no problems.
You let Collins take this car out?
Asked for a chance.
I let him have it... lucky thing I did.
You gotta be out of your head.
Collins is just a kid.
Come on, Tom,
what's he ever won?
Now, with me, you've got a
proven winner, you know that.
What've you won lately, Barney?
And what're you doing at this kind of
a track trying to hustle me, anyway.
Look, Tom.
No, you look!
SHATLEY: I know with Collins
I got a faster ride.
That makes him a better man for me.
Better than you are on that track!
You don't know what you're seeing.
Right now I'm in better shape than
any driver anywhere in the world.
Maybe it's a mental block, Barney.
I've seen it happen before.
I can drive this car.
You've got to let me try!
No way, Barney.
Now suppose you...
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
Tom. Tom.
Steve, I forgot.
I hit him.
I don't get a pulse.
Oh, my God.
No, it's no use, it's too late.
Barney!
Barney, he's breathing!
(ENGINE STARTS)
STEVE: Barney!
Barney, he's alive!
Thank God
he's going to be all right.
The trouble is,
Barney doesn't know that.
Well, we can tell him.
If we can find him.
I've got a man in his apartment.
The police have been notified.
Police?
Oscar, it was an accident.
We're just going to pick him up
for questioning, Carla.
Wait a minute.
You're not telling me everything.
We're afraid of what Barney might do,
thinking he killed Shatley.
STEVE:
It'll be all right once we find him.
Come on, I'll drive you home.
I'll see you at the office, Steve.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
(OMINOUS MUSIC)
I've reconsidered your offer.
I am delighted to hear that.
I just need money and a place to hide.
I'm in kind of a jam.
I can provide everything,
including...
gainful employment
starting tomorrow morning.
Yeah, whatever.
Let's get out of here.
Of course.
(OMINOUS MUSIC)
OSCAR: Steve, did you learn anything
else from Carla?
Carla has no idea where he could be.
Says she'll call if she hears from him.
Say, Oscar, let me look at the file
on the personnel at Rudy's lab, will you?
Rudy's lab? Sure.
Would you mind telling me why?
Well there was a guy at the track Barney
was talking to. He looked familiar.
I think I've seen him somewhere,
Rudy's lab maybe.
What would one of Rudy's lab men
be doing at the track?
Well, Barney's the only connection.
I, um... I want to thank you, pal.
For what?
For not saying, "I told you so"
about Barney.
Well, it was just a freak accident.
If only he hadn't run.
Well, he just panicked, I guess.
Burstyn. Lester Burstyn.
That's the man Barney was talking
to at the track.
OSCAR:
Yes, I recognize him.
He's a highly knowledgeable man.
We had to let him go last year when
we had a budget cut. I remember now.
Well, I asked Barney about him, he said he
had something to do with TV commercials.
Give me everything you have on a
Lester Burstyn, a former employee.
Right.
(CHIMES)
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
(HORN HONKING)
(TIRES SCREECHING)
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(TRUCK CREAKING)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(BANGING ON WINDOW)
(LOUD CRASHING)
(METAL CLANGING)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(ENGINE STARTS)
(TIRES SCREECHING)
OSCAR:
Barney's work all right.
The armored car was overturned.
Anyone hurt?
No, the guards were stunned.
He got away with a million dollars,
cold cash.
Is that all?
Is that all?
Oscar, don't you realize that a bionic man
turned criminal, how much he could steal?
He could burrow into Fort Knox.
I don't want to think about it.
(PHONE BUZZES)
Yes.
All right, put her on.
It's Carla.
Wants to talk with you.
Yes, Carla.
No, we haven't heard a word.
Now take it easy,
I'm sure he'll show up.
I promise,
as soon as we hear anything.
Right.
Well, I didn't want to
worry her any more.
Have you heard anything
on Burstyn yet?
He went undercover
two months ago.
We're questioning everybody
that knows him.
(CRUSHING METAL)
One more job like this
and I'll have the lab I always wanted.
Of course, my friend.
We're partners.
Now we were partners, Burstyn.
This is all I need.
(CHUCKLES)
Something funny?
I was right.
Yeah, what does that mean?
I knew you'd want to quit before
I was ready to have you quit.
This money's going to
Tom Shatley's widow.
I'll keep just enough
to get out of the country.
You're a fool, Barney.
Yeah.
I guess maybe I am.
At least the last few days
seem to bear that out.
All I want to do now is disappear
and try to stay out of trouble.
A noble wish.
Yeah.
Thanks, Burstyn.
Sorry I can't help you anymore.
Do you want me to stop him?
No, you couldn't if you tried.
No, there's only one way to persuade
Mr. Hiller to remain with us.
How's that?
His wife Carla.
Once we have her, I will have
the bionic Barney Hiller...
willing to do anything I ask.
OSCAR: There's nothing in Burstyn's file
that can help us. Nothing!
We've traced everything he's done,
everywhere he's gone.
Nothing.
There's one thing about him
that doesn't fit. He's not a crook.
He's not a professional thief.
And neither is Barney.
Well, for a couple of amateurs,
I'd say they've done pretty well.
Burstyn is a scientist.
And a good one.
All right, he's a good scientist.
So what does that prove?
Well, I'm not sure.
Rudy, if you were Burstyn,
what would you do?
Okay. I've been working for the
government nearly half my life.
The last year and a half on a mysterious
project having to do with bionics.
Does Burstyn know that I'm bionic?
No. He only knows about the work
done on Barney.
Okay, so you're Burstyn and you've got
Barney, a bionic man working for you.
What then?
Well, as a scientist I'd like to know
what makes him tick.
Can Burstyn find that out by
taking Barney apart?
No.
I don't know what you guys
are talking about.
Burstyn has gotten Barney
to hold up an armored car.
Between them they've got a million dollars.
Okay, so you're rich.
Then what do you do?
Well, I can buy what I want,
do what I want.
I can have my own lab.
I'd even have
recognition, power.
Burstyn has got all the power
he needs right now, Rudy...
and his name is Barney Hiller.
(OMINOUS MUSIC)
You going back to the office?
I'm gonna get some sleep.
I was up all last night.
I'll go back and check Burstyn's file,
there's gotta be a clue in there somewhere.
Be my guest.
(OMINOUS MUSIC)
Hello, Rudy.
Hey, Barney!
Boy am I glad to see you.
Are you all right? We've been
looking for you everywhere.
Rudy, you're one of the few people
I can really trust.
I want you to see that this money
gets to Tom Shatley's widow.
Wid...
You really don't know, do you?
Know what?
You didn't kill Shatley.
RUDY: He's alive.
I saw him myself.
He'll be out of bed tomorrow.
RUDY: It's true, Barney.
Then there's no need to hide...
to run.
That's right.
What about this and howl got it?
Oh, don't worry about that.
Oscar'll see that the money's returned.
After all, there were extenuating
circumstances.
Yeah, but there are others involved.
Oscar will take care of everything.
Yeah.
Good old Oscar, huh?
(CHUCKLES)
Well, I gotta see Carla.
She thinks I'm leaving the country.
Yeah, wait a minute, I want to call Steve
and Oscar and tell them that you're here.
No, no, no. That can wait.
I'll drop by Oscar's office
after I see Carla.
Rudy, thanks again.
Hey, man.
Hey, Barney, wait a minute,
will you!
No sweat. No sweat.
Everything's going to be great!
Just great!
(PHONE RINGS)
Yes?
When, Rudy?
I'll get right over to Carla's.
(TIRES SCREECHING)
What are you doing here?
I had a hunch
you might show up here.
We need to talk.
No more talk, Burstyn.
I'm telling Oscar Goldman
everything I know about you.
That would cause a severe
hardship, Barney.
Well, for you, maybe, yeah.
For your wife.
Carla?
She's at the factory right now,
under heavy guard.
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
You'll never see alive again!
That's better.
My guards at the factory have orders to
kill her at the sign of the least commotion.
What do you want, Burstyn?
Right now you get in the van.
I've got another job
for you to do.
(TIRES SCREECHING)
It's way too small.
Here try this one.
Come on.
Very nice.
Now we'll drop you off and pick you up
in the underground garage.
I figure the whole job shouldn't take you
more than 10, 15 minutes.
(BRAKES SQUEAL)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(LOUD CRASHING)
(HORN HONKS)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(METAL CREAKING)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(METAL CRUNCHING)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
That's quite a withdrawal
you made there, Barney.
Don't try to stop me, Steve.
You don't understand.
Then explain it to me.
There's no time.
There's got to be time.
Look, Steve.
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
Steve, I've got to do this.
They're holding Carla!
We can get her out.
No, it's too dangerous. They'd kill her if we
tried.
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(TIRES SCREECHING)
You will both get to your feet now.
You show amazing strength,
Colonel Austin.
Anyone who can hold his own
with a bionic man.
Well, I keep in shape.
Barney, get the money sacks.
In the van, Colonel Austin.
Now I have two hostages.
One to keep Barney in line...
and one to keep Oscar Goldman
off my back.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
What bothers me, Colonel Austin...
is why Oscar Goldman sent you to
apprehend Barney.
Of course, I know you've worked
for Oscar for a long time, but...
And you, Barney...
I told you, he got lucky
and I tripped. That's all.
Still, why did Goldman send him?
You want him to talk?
I'll make him talk.
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
You won't get anything out of him
any other way.
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
Pass out, we'll just bring you around
and start all over again.
Well, Colonel Austin?
Oscar knew that we were friends.
He thought I could convince Barney
to come back to our side.
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
How sentimental of Oscar.
Well, we'll soon find out what value
he places on Colonel Austin.
Put him in with Barney's wife.
Ed? Ed, it's Ralph, open up!
We got another one for you.
Steve!
Look, Burstyn, what am I gonna have to
do to get you to release Carla?
I'll think of something, Barney.
Mr. Goldman's office, please.
You all right, Steve?
Yeah, I will be... eventualy.
Ow, I'm just getting the kinks
out of my neck.
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
Carla, stay here!
That's right, call him at home,
just make sure he gets this message...
how much is
Colonel Austin worth?
BURSTYN:
I'll call back in an hour.
(SLAMS PHONE)
You better get some rest,
my friend.
No, first you release Carla,
then I'll do whatever you want.
(GUN FIRE CONTINUES)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
I thought you'd never show up.
After what you did to my neck,
I wasn't sure I would.
(UPLIFTING MUSIC)
Hey, Steve.
Welcome to heaven.
Yeah, I believe it.
It's wonderful.
Barney's really a genius at design.
Hey, old buddy, it's about time
you came by to see us.
Well, I haven't needed a
tune-up until now.
A tune-up, huh?
You or your car?
How do you like It?
Oh, it looks great.
Did you hear about my car
winning in Ontario?
Yeah, what about the driving?
Do you miss it?
Well, now, what do you think?
Every time get near a track, it's all I can do
to keep from jumping behind the wheel.
But I've got a young hot dog
that does all right for me.
It's going good, Steve.
How do you feel?
You look great.
Not bad if you like being normal.
Oh, by the way,
Oscar sends his thanks...
for proving it's possible to tune down
bionic man to lead a normal life.
Yeah.
Well, how about lunch?
Good idea! Steve?
Well, my car's right here.
We'll take it on one condition.
What's that?
You gotta let me drive.
(END THEME MUSIC)
It looks good at NASA One.
B- 52 >PILOT:
Roger.
BCS Arm switch is on.
FLIGHT COM:
Okay, Victor.
B-52 PILOT:
Landing Rocket Arm switch is on.
Here comes the throttle.
Circuit breakers in.
STEVE:
We have separation.
B-52 PILOT:
Inboard and outboards are on.
I'm comin' forward with the side stick.
FLIGHT COM:
Looks good.
PILOT:
Ah, Roger.
STEVE:
I've got a blowout in damper three.
SR-71 PILOT:
Get your pitch to zero.
STEVE:
Pitch is out. I can't hold altitude!
B-52 PILOT: Correction. Alpha Hold is oil“.
Threat selector is emergency.
STEVE: Flight Com. I can't hold it!
She's breaking up! She's breaking...
ANNOUNCER:
Steve Austin. Astronaut.
A man barely alive.
Gentlemen, we can rebuild him.
We have the technology.
We have the capability
to make the world's first bionic man.
Steve Austin will be that man.
Better than he was before.
Better, stronger, faster.
(MAIN TITLE THEME)
(BEEPS)
(70$ POP MUSIC)
Some people got it made.
Steve!
How are you?
You look great!
I'm so glad to see you! And they
told me you were away on business.
Well, the business is finished...
and you look great.
Barney will be
so happy to see you.
Steve, we did it!
We got married!
Hey.
Can you imagine?
Well, congratulations, Mrs. Hiller.
Three wonderful months ago today...
Well, I've tried to keep tabs
on you two.
Well, no one could do that.
Just so long as you're still
on Barney's team.
Well, you know I am.
Then that's all that's important
to me... and to Barney.
When you two first met...
I wasn't sure whether
you'd ever be friends.
Yeah, I know what you mean.
(CHIMES)
Ready?
Go.
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
Did you really think that
when the great Oscar Goldman...
pushed one of his little buttons
and ordered up you...
his brand-new bionic gadget...
do you really think he only ordered
one of a kind?
Wrong.
(CHIMES)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
It's wild, Steve, it's wild!
(CHIMES)
Barney, I've had it with you!
Up to here!
Now wait a minute.
Nobody forced you to be bionic.
They made a bionic man out of you
and you can't handle it, okay.
But you're gonna stop knocking people
around, understand?
All right! All right!
What do you want me to say,
it's true.
You think I like
what I'm turning into?
Look, you're too valuable a person
to throw it all away.
Valuable?
Let me tell you what valuable is!
I drove the fastest race cars in the world...
and I did it better than anybody else.
Indy, La Mans,
I won it all, everything!
BARNEY:
That had value.
You know what's really driving me nuts?
What?
Do you know what's driving me nuts,
Stevie boy?
Because you made it,
and I can't.
(CHIMES)
What it means is that Dr. Wells will
neutralize your bionic power.
Now nothing else will change,
Barney.
Except when it came to strength,
you'd be normal.
What's the matter, Stevie Boy,
you afraid of the competition?
Well, no way!
(CHIMES)
(BEEPING)
Well, your body's reacting normally to the
reduction in bionic power, I'm happy to say.
How much longer?
Oh, two,
maybe three days at the most.
Then we'll have to run some tests.
Don't go away.
(BEEPING CONTINUES)
I know, in the next world he's probably
going to be some laser beam...
with overhead cams or something,
but for now....
Say, what's he in with Rudy for,
a checkup or something?
No.
I guess you were out of town
and they couldn't tell you.
Steve!
Steve!
Hello, Steve.
Oscar, when you deactivated Barney,
we agreed...
Rudy and I have given this very
careful consideration, Steve.
The man can't handle bionic strength!
You know that.
And so do you, Rudy!
STEVE: Why are you doing it?
Why make another bionic time bomb?
This is an entirely different
situation, Steve.
It's a controlled experiment.
Oscar, you can't control him,
not if he doesn't want to be controlled.
(MOANS)
Well, that concludes
the circuit functions.
Disconnect the panels.
Barney Hiller is now fully bionic.
Well, he'll be coming around
in a minute or two.
Why take this risk?
A very highly placed general has
become privy to our bionic experiments.
He looks to the time when
our country might need 100 bionic men.
All bionically deactivated
as Barney is now in peace time.
And, in the event of
a national emergency...
You could reactivate them.
Exactly.
This business of reactivation and
deactivation...
is something we've never had
a chance to experiment with.
And now we have our subject.
Barney.
You could have used me.
Too risky, Steve.
We have no way of knowing
how much power can be reactivated...
or what the side effects might be.
If we had experimented with you...
you might never regain the
full power that you now have.
We couldn't take that chance.
I'm too valuable.
And Barney's expendable,
is that it?
In a manner of speaking, yes.
OSCAR: If he doesn't
live up to his capabilities...
we've lost nothing.
We simply deactivate him...
and we know
what we have to work on.
And Barney agreed to all this?
He did.
It's for a testing period of 48 hours,
that's all.
He said he'd be glad to help.
I know you disagree with
what we're doing...
but now that it's done...
will you help us out?
OSCAR: Steve, we want to check
his bionic strength against yours.
Will you help us?
(GROANS)
Hey, Rudy.
Wow.
What a sleep.
How do you feel, Barney?
Feel fine.
A little loggy, that's all.
Hey, Steve!
Hi, Barney.
It's great to see you again,
old buddy.
So what do you think of
these guys?
Juicin' me up again so they can
run me around the track...
see how the old
engine's holding up.
Yeah, they're clever all right.
Hey, Rudy, is it okay
for me to get up?
If you feel like it.
Oh, yeah.
I feel like it.
Feel great.
(CHUCKLES)
Really together. I mean...
lfeel... great.
Yeah.
Good, then we can begin with the testing.
Well? What do you say, pal?
Sure, let's get this thing
over with.
Ay, come on, Steve.
Now don't rush me.
I've only got 48 hours to play
Superman again.
I want to enjoy every minute.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
(MUSIC CONTINUES)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
Okay, Barney.
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(MUSIC CONTINUES)
Nice going.
Yeah.
Hey, what time is it?
About 9:30.
I gotta get to the track.
The track?
I got a car to run... If everything goes well,
there's a possibility of a race on Saturday.
Does Oscar know about this?
Sure, I told them
I need a few hours off.
Look, Steve, I'm a professional driver,
I mean, that's what I do.
They couldn't get
the car ready until today.
Well, they should have scheduled
these tests some other time.
Well, they couldn't.
If I get the car to drive,
I'll be tied up from Saturday until...
until I stop winning.
Why?
What's the difference?
You're looking good, Barney.
Far better than I expected.
It feels good.
I feel good.
But I think old Steve has a problem.
Barney here tells me
you've given him a little time off.
We had to schedule this
as best we could, Steve.
That was my one condition.
Look, I'm going to go shower and change.
I'll see you all this afternoon, right?
Fine.
Good.
What track, Barney?
It's out at Coghill.
Later.
I thought you said this was
supposed to be a controlled experiment.
You don't think that we should
let him out of our sight, huh?
Not for one minute.
(ENGINE ROARING)
How's he doing?
He's done better.
It's quite a place.
What you mean is, this looks like
the bottom of the barrel, right?
For a man who's raced
at Indianapolis...
(TIRES SCREECHING)
(ENGINE ROARING)
Has he been winning?
No.
And it tears him up inside, Steve.
Me, too.
(TIRES SCREECHING)
I thought maybe he'd take that
design offer and quit driving...
but when he heard Oscar wanted
to tune him up again...
he called Shatley.
Shatley?
The owner of the car.
Barney told him he was in top shape
and he could really give his car a ride.
You mean, Barney arranged this
after he knew of Oscar's plans?
He's desperate for a win, Steve.
But before you can win,
you've got to get a ride.
Any ride.
(ENGINE ROARING)
(TIRES SCREECHING)
(ENGINE REVS)
(ENGINE REVS)
It's the front end, Tom.
It is, huh?
Yeah, there's something wrong.
I checked this car this morning,
it was perfect.
Perfect, huh? Well, I'm telling you
it's off, I ought'a know.
You saying that's why
you spun her out?
What else? I wasn't going that fast.
Look, I coulda put my foot through the floor
of this turkey and blown your engine...
is that what you want?
Tom, I was just feeling her out
and she spun on me.
Are you gonna check out this front end
or do I have to?
I'll check her out.
Okay.
John!
(CAR ENGINE STARTS)
Mr. Hiller?
Yeah.
My name is Burstyn...
we spoke on the phone
a few months ago, remember?
Yeah, well...
Look, Mr. Burstyn, if everything
in my life goes down the tubes...
you'd still be wasting your time.
My dear friend...
I'm not your dear friend.
You're lucky I didn't report you to Oscar
Goldman the first time you called me.
Yeah, I suppose I am.
The fact is you didn't tell Goldman.
And another fact is...
at this very moment
you're bionically activated...
and will be for 48 hours.
Who's that Barney's talking to?
I don't know.
(BIONIC EYE SOUND EFFECT)
Okay, so you have a friend in
Rudy Wells' lab who tells you things.
We could make millions.
You really believe in living
dangerously, don't you?
If I told Goldman what you had in mind,
you'd be locked up in a flash.
I know, but somehow, unless
I've seriously misjudged you...
I don't think I have to
worry about that.
Well, don't bet on it.
Hi, Barney.
Well, did you come to root for me
or did Oscar send you?
Well, both. What happened?
You spun out down there.
That's the car.
Oh.
Shatley, the owner, says it's me,
that I'm not getting everything out of it.
Well, are you?
I don't know.
Man, I am trying.
Somehow I felt today I could...
I don't know.
That's why you had your bionics
tuned up, isn't it, Barney?
You know, bionic strength
can't make a car go faster.
It can make me feel better.
I didn't start losing
until Rudy tuned me down.
Well, he only put you back to normal.
Normal? How do you know
what's normal for me?
BARNEY:
How can Rudy tell what's normal for me?
To win, you've gotta have just the
right reflexes, just the right touch.
Well, I haven't won anything
since they made me bionic.
I've hardly even finished a race.
No, Rudy didn't put me back to normal.
Not my normal.
Before, I won everything,
everything in sight.
That was normal for me.
Barney, you had a near fatal accident.
That's got to affect your driving.
Yeah, a man with no arms and no legs,
isn't quite the same, is he?
Well, you've got both arms, legs.
Sure.
And a nice monthly pension
from good, old Oscar Goldman.
They saved my life.
They made me bionic...
but they couldn't give me back
what I had that made me special.
The timing, the reflexes...
Look, I gotta go.
Barney, that man you were
talking to, who is he?
I've seen him someplace.
I don't know... he, uh...
said something about
TV commercials.
Well?
There's nothing wrong
with this car.
Then you're still saying it's me.
I'm saying this car is
in perfect shape.
You've got to let it out.
You think I can?
Show me.
All right. Take him out!
(ENGINE SPUTTERS, THEN ROARS)
(ENGINE ROARING)
How's he doing?
Not bad... for city traffic.
(TIRES SCREECHING)
It's not the end of the world,
Barney.
Well, if your world is racing?
Well, everybody has an off day.
No! It had to be the car!
I couldn't have been off
that much.
Hey, look, Steve,
wait for me, will you?
I want to have a few things
out with Shatley.
Yeah, well, keep cool, huh?
Yeah, sure, sure.
Everything that I asked for,
that's all I want.
Tom?
Now look, Tom, I'm telling you,
there's gotta be something wrong.
There is.
It's you, Barney.
No! It's the car.
It's gotta be the car.
That's funny.
I had Ray Collins take it out this morning,
he tore up the track, no problems.
You let Collins take this car out?
Asked for a chance.
I let him have it... lucky thing I did.
You gotta be out of your head.
Collins is just a kid.
Come on, Tom,
what's he ever won?
Now, with me, you've got a
proven winner, you know that.
What've you won lately, Barney?
And what're you doing at this kind of
a track trying to hustle me, anyway.
Look, Tom.
No, you look!
SHATLEY: I know with Collins
I got a faster ride.
That makes him a better man for me.
Better than you are on that track!
You don't know what you're seeing.
Right now I'm in better shape than
any driver anywhere in the world.
Maybe it's a mental block, Barney.
I've seen it happen before.
I can drive this car.
You've got to let me try!
No way, Barney.
Now suppose you...
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
Tom. Tom.
Steve, I forgot.
I hit him.
I don't get a pulse.
Oh, my God.
No, it's no use, it's too late.
Barney!
Barney, he's breathing!
(ENGINE STARTS)
STEVE: Barney!
Barney, he's alive!
Thank God
he's going to be all right.
The trouble is,
Barney doesn't know that.
Well, we can tell him.
If we can find him.
I've got a man in his apartment.
The police have been notified.
Police?
Oscar, it was an accident.
We're just going to pick him up
for questioning, Carla.
Wait a minute.
You're not telling me everything.
We're afraid of what Barney might do,
thinking he killed Shatley.
STEVE:
It'll be all right once we find him.
Come on, I'll drive you home.
I'll see you at the office, Steve.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
(OMINOUS MUSIC)
I've reconsidered your offer.
I am delighted to hear that.
I just need money and a place to hide.
I'm in kind of a jam.
I can provide everything,
including...
gainful employment
starting tomorrow morning.
Yeah, whatever.
Let's get out of here.
Of course.
(OMINOUS MUSIC)
OSCAR: Steve, did you learn anything
else from Carla?
Carla has no idea where he could be.
Says she'll call if she hears from him.
Say, Oscar, let me look at the file
on the personnel at Rudy's lab, will you?
Rudy's lab? Sure.
Would you mind telling me why?
Well there was a guy at the track Barney
was talking to. He looked familiar.
I think I've seen him somewhere,
Rudy's lab maybe.
What would one of Rudy's lab men
be doing at the track?
Well, Barney's the only connection.
I, um... I want to thank you, pal.
For what?
For not saying, "I told you so"
about Barney.
Well, it was just a freak accident.
If only he hadn't run.
Well, he just panicked, I guess.
Burstyn. Lester Burstyn.
That's the man Barney was talking
to at the track.
OSCAR:
Yes, I recognize him.
He's a highly knowledgeable man.
We had to let him go last year when
we had a budget cut. I remember now.
Well, I asked Barney about him, he said he
had something to do with TV commercials.
Give me everything you have on a
Lester Burstyn, a former employee.
Right.
(CHIMES)
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
(HORN HONKING)
(TIRES SCREECHING)
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(TRUCK CREAKING)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(BANGING ON WINDOW)
(LOUD CRASHING)
(METAL CLANGING)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(ENGINE STARTS)
(TIRES SCREECHING)
OSCAR:
Barney's work all right.
The armored car was overturned.
Anyone hurt?
No, the guards were stunned.
He got away with a million dollars,
cold cash.
Is that all?
Is that all?
Oscar, don't you realize that a bionic man
turned criminal, how much he could steal?
He could burrow into Fort Knox.
I don't want to think about it.
(PHONE BUZZES)
Yes.
All right, put her on.
It's Carla.
Wants to talk with you.
Yes, Carla.
No, we haven't heard a word.
Now take it easy,
I'm sure he'll show up.
I promise,
as soon as we hear anything.
Right.
Well, I didn't want to
worry her any more.
Have you heard anything
on Burstyn yet?
He went undercover
two months ago.
We're questioning everybody
that knows him.
(CRUSHING METAL)
One more job like this
and I'll have the lab I always wanted.
Of course, my friend.
We're partners.
Now we were partners, Burstyn.
This is all I need.
(CHUCKLES)
Something funny?
I was right.
Yeah, what does that mean?
I knew you'd want to quit before
I was ready to have you quit.
This money's going to
Tom Shatley's widow.
I'll keep just enough
to get out of the country.
You're a fool, Barney.
Yeah.
I guess maybe I am.
At least the last few days
seem to bear that out.
All I want to do now is disappear
and try to stay out of trouble.
A noble wish.
Yeah.
Thanks, Burstyn.
Sorry I can't help you anymore.
Do you want me to stop him?
No, you couldn't if you tried.
No, there's only one way to persuade
Mr. Hiller to remain with us.
How's that?
His wife Carla.
Once we have her, I will have
the bionic Barney Hiller...
willing to do anything I ask.
OSCAR: There's nothing in Burstyn's file
that can help us. Nothing!
We've traced everything he's done,
everywhere he's gone.
Nothing.
There's one thing about him
that doesn't fit. He's not a crook.
He's not a professional thief.
And neither is Barney.
Well, for a couple of amateurs,
I'd say they've done pretty well.
Burstyn is a scientist.
And a good one.
All right, he's a good scientist.
So what does that prove?
Well, I'm not sure.
Rudy, if you were Burstyn,
what would you do?
Okay. I've been working for the
government nearly half my life.
The last year and a half on a mysterious
project having to do with bionics.
Does Burstyn know that I'm bionic?
No. He only knows about the work
done on Barney.
Okay, so you're Burstyn and you've got
Barney, a bionic man working for you.
What then?
Well, as a scientist I'd like to know
what makes him tick.
Can Burstyn find that out by
taking Barney apart?
No.
I don't know what you guys
are talking about.
Burstyn has gotten Barney
to hold up an armored car.
Between them they've got a million dollars.
Okay, so you're rich.
Then what do you do?
Well, I can buy what I want,
do what I want.
I can have my own lab.
I'd even have
recognition, power.
Burstyn has got all the power
he needs right now, Rudy...
and his name is Barney Hiller.
(OMINOUS MUSIC)
You going back to the office?
I'm gonna get some sleep.
I was up all last night.
I'll go back and check Burstyn's file,
there's gotta be a clue in there somewhere.
Be my guest.
(OMINOUS MUSIC)
Hello, Rudy.
Hey, Barney!
Boy am I glad to see you.
Are you all right? We've been
looking for you everywhere.
Rudy, you're one of the few people
I can really trust.
I want you to see that this money
gets to Tom Shatley's widow.
Wid...
You really don't know, do you?
Know what?
You didn't kill Shatley.
RUDY: He's alive.
I saw him myself.
He'll be out of bed tomorrow.
RUDY: It's true, Barney.
Then there's no need to hide...
to run.
That's right.
What about this and howl got it?
Oh, don't worry about that.
Oscar'll see that the money's returned.
After all, there were extenuating
circumstances.
Yeah, but there are others involved.
Oscar will take care of everything.
Yeah.
Good old Oscar, huh?
(CHUCKLES)
Well, I gotta see Carla.
She thinks I'm leaving the country.
Yeah, wait a minute, I want to call Steve
and Oscar and tell them that you're here.
No, no, no. That can wait.
I'll drop by Oscar's office
after I see Carla.
Rudy, thanks again.
Hey, man.
Hey, Barney, wait a minute,
will you!
No sweat. No sweat.
Everything's going to be great!
Just great!
(PHONE RINGS)
Yes?
When, Rudy?
I'll get right over to Carla's.
(TIRES SCREECHING)
What are you doing here?
I had a hunch
you might show up here.
We need to talk.
No more talk, Burstyn.
I'm telling Oscar Goldman
everything I know about you.
That would cause a severe
hardship, Barney.
Well, for you, maybe, yeah.
For your wife.
Carla?
She's at the factory right now,
under heavy guard.
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
You'll never see alive again!
That's better.
My guards at the factory have orders to
kill her at the sign of the least commotion.
What do you want, Burstyn?
Right now you get in the van.
I've got another job
for you to do.
(TIRES SCREECHING)
It's way too small.
Here try this one.
Come on.
Very nice.
Now we'll drop you off and pick you up
in the underground garage.
I figure the whole job shouldn't take you
more than 10, 15 minutes.
(BRAKES SQUEAL)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(LOUD CRASHING)
(HORN HONKS)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(METAL CREAKING)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(METAL CRUNCHING)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
That's quite a withdrawal
you made there, Barney.
Don't try to stop me, Steve.
You don't understand.
Then explain it to me.
There's no time.
There's got to be time.
Look, Steve.
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
Steve, I've got to do this.
They're holding Carla!
We can get her out.
No, it's too dangerous. They'd kill her if we
tried.
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(TIRES SCREECHING)
You will both get to your feet now.
You show amazing strength,
Colonel Austin.
Anyone who can hold his own
with a bionic man.
Well, I keep in shape.
Barney, get the money sacks.
In the van, Colonel Austin.
Now I have two hostages.
One to keep Barney in line...
and one to keep Oscar Goldman
off my back.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
What bothers me, Colonel Austin...
is why Oscar Goldman sent you to
apprehend Barney.
Of course, I know you've worked
for Oscar for a long time, but...
And you, Barney...
I told you, he got lucky
and I tripped. That's all.
Still, why did Goldman send him?
You want him to talk?
I'll make him talk.
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
You won't get anything out of him
any other way.
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
Pass out, we'll just bring you around
and start all over again.
Well, Colonel Austin?
Oscar knew that we were friends.
He thought I could convince Barney
to come back to our side.
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
How sentimental of Oscar.
Well, we'll soon find out what value
he places on Colonel Austin.
Put him in with Barney's wife.
Ed? Ed, it's Ralph, open up!
We got another one for you.
Steve!
Look, Burstyn, what am I gonna have to
do to get you to release Carla?
I'll think of something, Barney.
Mr. Goldman's office, please.
You all right, Steve?
Yeah, I will be... eventualy.
Ow, I'm just getting the kinks
out of my neck.
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
Carla, stay here!
That's right, call him at home,
just make sure he gets this message...
how much is
Colonel Austin worth?
BURSTYN:
I'll call back in an hour.
(SLAMS PHONE)
You better get some rest,
my friend.
No, first you release Carla,
then I'll do whatever you want.
(GUN FIRE CONTINUES)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
I thought you'd never show up.
After what you did to my neck,
I wasn't sure I would.
(UPLIFTING MUSIC)
Hey, Steve.
Welcome to heaven.
Yeah, I believe it.
It's wonderful.
Barney's really a genius at design.
Hey, old buddy, it's about time
you came by to see us.
Well, I haven't needed a
tune-up until now.
A tune-up, huh?
You or your car?
How do you like It?
Oh, it looks great.
Did you hear about my car
winning in Ontario?
Yeah, what about the driving?
Do you miss it?
Well, now, what do you think?
Every time get near a track, it's all I can do
to keep from jumping behind the wheel.
But I've got a young hot dog
that does all right for me.
It's going good, Steve.
How do you feel?
You look great.
Not bad if you like being normal.
Oh, by the way,
Oscar sends his thanks...
for proving it's possible to tune down
bionic man to lead a normal life.
Yeah.
Well, how about lunch?
Good idea! Steve?
Well, my car's right here.
We'll take it on one condition.
What's that?
You gotta let me drive.
(END THEME MUSIC)