The Six Million Dollar Man (1974–1978): Season 3, Episode 7 - Target in the Sky - full transcript
Steve goes undercover as lumberjack 'Steve Parker' when a government agent goes missing after reporting a missile station near Wixted Lumber Camp.
FLIGHT COM:
It looks good at NASA One.
B- 52 >PILOT:
Roger.
BCS Arm switch is on.
FLIGHT COM:
Okay, Victor.
B-52 PILOT:
Landing Rocket Arm switch is on.
Here comes the throttle.
Circuit breakers in.
STEVE:
We have separation.
B-52 PILOT:
Inboard and outboards are on.
I'm comin' forward with the side stick.
FLIGHT COM:
Looks good.
PILOT:
Ah, Roger.
STEVE:
I've got a blowout in damper three.
SR-71 PILOT:
Get your pitch to zero.
STEVE:
Pitch is out. I can't hold altitude!
B-52 PILOT: Correction. Alpha Hold is oil“.
Threat selector is emergency.
STEVE: Flight Com. I can't hold it!
She's breaking up! She's breaking...
ANNOUNCER:
Steve Austin. Astronaut.
A man barely alive.
Gentlemen, we can rebuild him.
We have the technology.
We have the capability
to make the world's first bionic man.
Steve Austin will be that man.
Better than he was before.
Better, stronger, faster.
(MAIN TITLE THEME)
CAPTAIN: Ladies and gentlemen,
we'll be arriving in San Francisco...
on schedule in 45 minutes.
Right now we're passing over our
Northern California checkpoint...
Delta Charlie.
And down below us is some of America's
most beautiful tall timber country.
(THUDS)
Oscar.
STEVE: Thought I'd better check in
before I headed to the lumber camp.
Right, Steve.
OSCAR:
No sign of Ben.
You still think it's "probably nothing?"
All I know is Ben Cosgrove was up here
on a vacation in the mountains...
and he said he saw
a SX-5 Radio Guidance Antenna...
sticking up on one of the trees
near a lumber camp.
Yeah, I know, what's a highly classified
piece of government equipment...
doing in a non-government place like this?
It's been a week now since he's gone
in for a closer look.
Maybe what he found was a citizen's band
antenna and then just went fishing.
Yeah, but Ben woulda called back.
OSCAR:
I think so.
I better go in and check it out, besides
I always wanted to be a lumberjack.
Somebody's coming, Oscar.
I'll get back to you later.
(BRAKES SQEAK)
You're not one of my men.
I'd sure like to be.
Right.
You looking for work?
Yeah. If they got
any openings up there.
You mean,
If I've got any openings.
I'm Kelly Wixted.
Hop in.
Thanks.
I'm Steve Parker.
KELLY:
see.
Are you Wixted's wife
or daughter?
Daughter.
But he died last year,
so that makes me Wixted all by myself.
Looks like you're holding up alright.
Any daughter of Jake Wixted's wouldn't
be any other way.
He was the toughest thing this side
of Eureka.
You don't look like a logger.
I can handle anything
you throw at me.
A tree, a tractor, a chain saw?
Try me.
I just might.
We're harvesting up there
right now.
That's the high lead.
Kicks the trunks out of the jumble
just like toothpicks.
Gotta be fast on your feet.
Yeah, with a little practice,
I'll get it.
You better... that thing kills.
Hey, boss lady, you look great!
Jeremy Burke, my foreman.
Uh, Steve Parker.
Who's this, another stray?
We're having enough problems
paying the men we got.
What was all that this morning about
losing that new fellow? Cosgrove?
Lose three Cosgroves,
we're still overstaffed.
Jeremy, he said he can do the job,
and I would like to see if he's man enough.
Trust me, Kell,
we don't need this guy.
Wait a minute.
All I'm asking is a chance.
Look, let me top off a tree for you...
then I'll shove off if you still don't
think can... cut it.
Sure. Why not?
This way, gringo.
I was saving this one for myself...
but seeing as you're going to be
so terrific, you can have it.
What would you like me to do with it?
(MEN LAUGHING)
Don't you guys have trees of your own
to take care of?
Okay. You got your gear,
there's the tree.
Take the top 15 feet off,
if you can climb that high.
You got it.
And if you don't,
you take a walk.
Not bad, huh?
He's no timberman.
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
Well, he sure is
good raw material.
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
Get going!
(CHAINSAW STARTS)
He can't even use a saw,
let's dump him, Kell.
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(METAL CLANGS)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(WOOD CREAKING)
(WOOD CREAKING, CRACKING)
What do you mean he can't use a saw,
he was finished.
Kell...
He's hired.
Get him settled. Put him to work.
(BIONIC EYE SOUND EFFECT)
Tracks of a P-22 missile carrier?
Are you sure, Steve?
STEVE:
I'm positive.
Just like the ones I photographed when
I flew over Cuba during the missile crisis.
Huh? What do I do, call in the Marines?
No, give me a little time to get established
as a lumberjack and see what's going on.
STEVE The camp foreman's trying
awfully hard to keep me out of here.
I think he has something to do with
what happened to Ben Cosgrove.
Right. I'll drive over to Stockwell Missile
Research and see what I can dig up.
I think we're onto something
heavy here, pal.
OSCAR: Better be careful...
'cause I don't want you to end up on a
missing-in-action list like Cosgrove.
Neither do I... neither do .
(WOOD CREAKING)
All right!
Get the lead on it!
Alright! Clamp it!
JEREMY:
Take it on up!
(ENGINE REVS)
You're up there, too.
(METAL SQUEAKING)
(BOOMING THUD)
How long you been here, Jeremy?
Long enough.
So what happened to that fellow
Cosgrove you were talking about?
Look, I had to hire you,
but I don't have to talk to you.
I'm just trying to get along, and
it doesn't look like it's gonna be easy.
Yeah? Someday you foreman for a woman
who puts you in charge...
then tells you who to hire.
Yeah.
She's quite a woman.
'Bout the strongest I ever met...
and lemme get something straight
with you...
You stay away from Kelly,
you got it?
Yeah.
Climb in.
We gotta dump this lead.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
Okay, let's honcho 'em on down
toward the mill.
Move it!
Thad, you guys take care
of that pile up down there?
We've get ourselves a small jam-up.
Climb aboard.
Unless you don't know about keeping
your balance on a floating piece of wood?
How many times I gotta prove to you
that I'm a lumberjack?
(SIGHS)
You're still working on the first time.
Come on!
Kelly's old man was the
best timber-man to ever roll a log.
I'm pretty good, what about you?
I've never tried it.
Hop on.
Hop on, I said!
See? It's just a matter of
getting your rhythm...
your feet, the other guy's feet.
See?
'Course, it helps to anticipate a little too...
that's what made old man Wixted so good.
He'd be talking to you easy as this,
looking you straight in the face...
you'd start to think
he wasn't really interested.
Aw!
(MEN LAUGHING)
Sure wish Kelly was here
to see you get dumped.
You want to try that again?
Yeah?
Sure, why not?
Careful, Jeremy!
Ease it.
(MEN LAUGHING)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
Aw!
(MEN LAUGHING)
I don't believe you guys.
I'm working my tail off
to keep this outfit afloat...
and you guys are out there
playing games.
Back off, Kelly!
Yeah, well now you know:
He's good.
And you also know my financial situation,
which is very bad.
I know, I know.
Pretty soon I'm gonna be able to do
something about that.
I told you.
I'm gonna get some money.
Yeah, that's right, Jeremy.
That would really be terrific
if it'd ever happens...
but in the meantime
you just stick to your job.
Now go get dried off.
From now on get your jollies
on your own time.
Yeah. Yeah.
Get going, you've got things to do.
Yeah, that's true.
Hey, I'm Thad Jones.
You're okay.
I'm Steve, thanks.
It would've been a day...
when Jeremy would've come up offering
you a beer for dumping him like that.
What is it? Me? Or is he like that
with everybody new?
Not exactly. There hadn't been anybody
new except you and that other guy.
Cosgrove?
Cosgrove. Yeah, I guess.
He lasted about a day.
Get along with Jeremy
about as well as I do, huh?
Just about.
Last time I saw him was
about a week ago.
I guess he just took off.
Nobody's seen him since?
He and Jeremy got in a big fight on the far
slope there next to one of the big sheds.
Yeah? What about?
Search me.
All I know is that Jeremy's
getting awfully picky...
about all of his little rules
and regulations all of a sudden.
Catch ya later.
Yeah, you bet.
(BIONIC EYE SOUND EFFECT)
Hey, Gringo!
You heard what the lady said,
get dressed.
I got a little job
all picked out for you.
Hello. I'm Oscar Goldman
to see Dr. Morton Craig.
Morton.
It's good to see you.
Oscar. You could give us
a little more notice.
I wish I'd had the time.
Listen, I've been getting some very
distressing reports from a logging camp...
about 100 miles from here.
A logging camp?
Guidance system antenna.
SX-5.
Tread marks from
a P-22 missile carrier.
What would that be
doing over there?
That's what I'm doing here?
I want to get a complete inventory
of all the missiles you have here.
We'll use a computer.
What? You think someone's stolen
some of our missiles?
How could they have
gotten past security?
I don't know,
but I'm not taking any chances.
Just think if someone got their hands on
one of those heat-seekers?
They could blow a jet
right out of the sky.
Right. Let's go.
(BRAKES SQUEAL)
Alright, lumberjack,
they're all yours.
How many of 'em?
Let's say a half-dozen to start.
That oughta keep you outta trouble
for a little while.
Yeah, for a little while.
Where's my chain saw?
Forget the saw, hotshot.
You're gonna be a jack,
use an axe.
I better not see you down in camp
till you're finished here...
or you can kiss your axe goodbye.
It's 11:00 now. I don't expect to see your
face for the rest of the day.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(WOOD CREAKING)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(CRASHING)
(BIONIC EYE SOUND EFFECT)
(DYNAMIC MUSIC)
There's the missile carrier,
but where are the missiles?
(SERIOUS MUSIC)
(VEHICLE APPROACHING)
(HORN HONKING)
(BRAKES SQUEAL)
What're you doing here?
Jeremy told me he sent you to work
on the West Ridge.
Yeah, well I finished up on the trees
he showed me...
and I wasn't sure which ones
he wanted to cut next.
Probably some of the ones
with branches on 'em.
Right.
Well, I figured I better check and I thought
I saw Jeremy heading over this way.
No. We don't use this place any more.
Now, Jeremy is back towards camp.
And from now on would you stay where
you're supposed to be working.
You got that?
Yes, ma'am.
Get in.
You like to run a tight ship,
don't you?
You could say that.
Isn't it a little tough for a woman
to handle all these men?
They respect me.
Like you better learn to.
Oh, I do.
I respect you like crazy.
I'm sorry
I've been so hardnosed.
It's just that this has been
sort of a rough time for me.
Dad left me with a lot
of big money problems.
I'm not going to be able to
make the payroll today...
and when I don't,
most of my men'll walk.
Then I will never get that river-full
of logs down stream.
Won't the men hang
with you till then?
They've been hanging with me,
for three weeks now.
I'm going to have to
declare bankruptcy.
What was Jeremy talking about...
about coming up
with some money for you?
Jeremy's been soft on me
a long time now.
He said something about getting
a lot of money soon and uh...
I don't know. Where's Jeremy
gonna come up with $60,000, huh?
That's a good question.
Mm-hmm.
(ENGINE RUNNING)
(BRAKES SQUEAL)
That's it, hotshot.
You're fired.
For what?
Riding with the boss?
You couldn't've dropped
those six trees that fast...
and I told you not to leave there
till you did.
He said he finished, Jeremy.
That's a lotta bull.
Let's just go see.
And the other four are up there.
You know, the trouble with you,
Jeremy, is you have no faith in me.
(LOUD WHISTLE)
Well, that's lunch.
I don't understand.
(MUMBLES)
She gonna make the payroll finally?
Doesn't look too good, Charlie.
Will you walk?
I don't know.
Yeah, I figured he must be
another Cosgrove.
Look, look.
I told you I didn't want to get into that,
Cosgrove was enough.
Yeah, I know exactly
how deep I'm in...
but arranging accidents
wasn't part of the deal.
How much more?
An even $100,000.
(EXHALES)
Yeah, yeah... I'm here...
I just...
Alright alright,
I'll see what I can do.
Oscar, do you read?
OPERA TOR: One second, Colonel Austin,
I'll patch you through.
OSCAR:
Yeah, Steve, what do you got?
Well, I found the missile launcher.
So far no missiles and no Ben Cosgrove.
Well, Morton and I are running
a computer check.
So far we can't account for two missiles.
STEVE: Well, I'll get back up there as quick
as I can and try to finish the job.
Meanwhile, Oscar, why don't you check
and see if there's any special aircraft...
scheduled to fly over this area soon.
Uh-huh.
With special passengers aboard, huh?
Right. Those missiles have gotta be
aimed at somebody important.
I'll check with you later.
Hey, Steve?
Yeah.
Jeremy said he wanted to see you
up by the high lead.
Now?
Said it was urgent. Said he had some
important information for you.
Jeremy did?
Yeah.
Okay, thanks.
(MACHINERY CREAKING)
(BIONIC EYE SOUND EFFECT)
Hey, Jeremy!
Yeah.
Miss Wixted couldn't make the payroll,
most of the men are gonna quit.
I haven't got time for that now.
Let 'em go!
MAN ON PHONE:
Hello?
Hello... it's Burke.
Now listen.
I want you to get your gear
and get out of here...
and take Cosgrove with you.
You just bring my money and get out,
you hear?!
What about the other party?
It's all done with him.
He's finished.
You just bring my money.
Don't worry, it's all arranged...
and thank you for a fine job.
Goodbye.
Yeah.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(WOOD CREAKING)
(BIONIC EYE SOUND EFFECT)
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(WOOD CREAKING)
(MAN COUGHS)
(COUGHING CONTINUES)
Ben?
Steve? Steve, is that...
Is that...
Take it easy,
I'll get you out of here.
Can't...
Hurts too much. Drugged.
(MOANS)
Don't worry, I'll be back with the
entire Red Cross, you hear?
Okay.
(DYNAMIC MUSIC)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(METAL CREAKING)
(METAL BREAKING)
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
Find anything else?
Well, I'd say it was
an insidejob, Morton.
Some employee who could smuggle out
component parts, say, a bit at a time.
We thought our security was air tight.
Any leads on who it might be?
It would have to be some top staff member...
someone who has complete
access to the complex.
I must be getting careless in my old age,
to have let this happen.
You can't blame yourself. Morton.
Yes, I can.
(PHONE BUZZES)
Yes?
OPERA TOR: It's Colonel Austin
calling Oscar Goldman, sir.
CRAIG:
Are you sure?
Yes, sir. Should I have him
call back, sir?
No, no, I'll talk to him,
put him on.
Dr. Craig on the line, Colonel.
CRAIG:
Yes.
Morton.
Yes.
Where's Oscar?
He's not here right now.
Perhaps I can help.
Just a moment.
This is personal,
would you excuse me?
Of course.
Tell you what I'll do.
I'll go over to the security office and check
the air traffic over the logging camp.
Now then, are you alright?
Yes. Look, I've accounted
for those two missiles.
They were in the
final stages of assembly.
But you know how limited
those rockets are.
My guess is somebody
has a specific plane in mind.
One carrying a V.I.P.
Did you destroy the missiles?
No, but I made a bird's nest
out of the launch control.
Those rockets aren't
going anywhere.
I see... good work.
STEVE:
And I found Ben Cosgrove, too.
I'll need a medical rescue team
down here on the double.
So tell Oscar to get
his task force mobilized.
Meanwhile, I'm gonna
try to get Burke to talk.
Burke?
Yeah, Jeremy Burke, he's the camp
foreman, he's in it up to his neck.
Fill Oscar in, will you?
I gotta go.
Don't worry, Steve, I'll tell Oscar
everything he needs to know.
Right.
Well, what're you doing here?:
Well, I guess I'm not supposed to be...
not after that tree you dropped on me.
(STUTTERS)
I don't know what you're talking about.
I'm talking about that little accident
I almost had.
You think I want you out of here
bad enough to cause an accident?
Maybe.
Because of Kelly? Come on.
Not because of Kelly, Jeremy...
because of those
heat-seekers in the saw mill.
(SAW REVS)
(METAL CRUNCHING)
Aw!
What d'you do, Jeremy?
Arrange accidents for people
you don't like on general principles?
Or just for undercover men
like me and Cosgrove?
You got to be outta your mind.
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(GRUNTS)
Now you knew about us.
Otherwise you wouldn't've gone
so far as attempted murder.
I'm telling you I didn't...
I saw you. I wanna know who you're
working for? You better not say Kelly.
I can't. You don't know
what they'll do to me.
You better worry about
what I'm gonna do to you.
They're gonna shoot down a plane
and I want to know which one!
I don't know.
I don't know!
Steve. What's going on?
A bunch of guys just came by
and said they want to see you.
Oscar Goldman?
Yeah. They said you'd be
looking for Jeremy.
Yeah, well, your foreman here
is in a little trouble.
Why not?
When it rains, it pours.
All of my men except Thad just quit.
Don't you know that's why I did all this?
They were gonna give me a $100,000.
That's right, I could've bailed you out.
$100,000! I coulda helped you,
Kelly, helped us.
That's why I did it.
I don't know what...
What do you mean?
He rented out part of your property
so some of his friends...
could assemble and launch
a couple of guided missiles.
I don't understand.
Well, they planned to shoot down
somebody's plane when it crossed this area.
Jeremy.
Where's Oscar and the men?
They're over by the far storage shed.
Get in.
Where's Oscar?
He couldn't make it.
Although I must admit I didn't make much
of an effort to find him after you called.
No sudden moves, Steve, or
Miss Wixted here will get very dead.
I suppose you got a good reason for this.
Two million of them.
Sure beats a paltry government
pension, doesn't it?
What do you got to do for it?
Who's in that plane that's coming over?
All the key men in the President's cabinet.
That's quite a prize.
Well, it's too bad I disabled
your launcher in there.
Which I thank you for reminding me of...
otherwise I might not have brought
along this backup unit.
Lock them up for now,
we'll dispose of them later.
Not her.
There will be no witnesses, Jeremy.
I said you not her!
I have no time for this kind of melodrama.
That plane will be in range
in seven minutes.
What about all the things I did for you?
You have my deepest appreciation.
What?!
Better do as he says, Jeremy.
Lock them up in that explosive shed
down the road.
Stand on guard at a distance.
If they try to escape, put a bullet in the
case of explosives and blow them up.
(OMINOUS MUSIC)
Get the launcher up to that clearing.
Check the radio guidance antenna.
And get the high altitude radar scan in line.
We've got six minutes!
CAPTAIN: San Francisco International,
this is Air Force II...
approaching checkpoint Delta Charlie.
(DOOR LOCKS)
Jeremy?
What you did was wrong.
It was really wrong.
But I just wanted you to know that...
Did they leave a guard?
Yeah.
You know what that man said
was right.
One bullet into that pile of explosives
out there and this place goes up.
Yep, but we've got to figure a way
out of here, and quick.
(DEVICE BEEPS)
Alright, four minutes now.
The plane will be coming in
from the north, northeast...
at an altitude of
approximately 40,000 feet.
(WHIRS)
Anything on that scope yet?
(BEEPS)
Here they come.
Give it up, you set one foot
outside that door, it's all over.
Maybe not.
(BEEPS)
Two minutes.
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(BIONIC EYE SOUND EFFECT)
Switch to remote.
Calibrate your heading at 0220.
What're you doing?
I'm gonna bounce this off
of our friend out there.
You're crazy, you could
never throw it that far.
If he thinks we're trying to escape
and gets a shot into that explosive...
Then we're gonna go out with a bang.
Hold your breath.
(BIONIC EYE SOUND EFFECT)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
(MULTIPLE DEVICES BEEPING)
(BEEPS)
Standby for launch.
20 seconds... 19,18,17...
16,15,14,13...
12, 11, 10...
(BIONIC EYE SOUND EFFECT)
Eight, seven...
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
Five, four, three, two...
CAPTAIN: We've just seen
two large explosions just below us.
TOWER: Roger, Air Force II.
Will investigate.
I'll cover them, Steve!
Hold it, Morton!
(JET FLYING OVER)
(LIGHT MUSIC)
Hello!
Hi! How you doin'?
Okay.
Good.
What about Jeremy?
STEVE: Well, he committed
some pretty serious crimes...
But we'll ask the judge to take into account
how he helped capture Craig.
With time off for good behavior,
he should be back to work soon.
That's terrific.
Now if I can get this river load
of logs down stream...
maybe I can get back in business.
Who've you got helping you?
Just Thad, nobody else'll trust me
to pay him yet.
Could you use another hand?
Are you kidding?
If I had you around full-time,
I wouldn't need anybody else.
You can have him part of the time.
That's all.
Well, that's a whole lot
better than nothing.
Are you ready?
Yeah.
(ENGINE STARTS)
Well, Oscar, you sure you don't want
to lumber along with us?
You're barking up the wrong tree, pal.
(END THEME MUSIC)
It looks good at NASA One.
B- 52 >PILOT:
Roger.
BCS Arm switch is on.
FLIGHT COM:
Okay, Victor.
B-52 PILOT:
Landing Rocket Arm switch is on.
Here comes the throttle.
Circuit breakers in.
STEVE:
We have separation.
B-52 PILOT:
Inboard and outboards are on.
I'm comin' forward with the side stick.
FLIGHT COM:
Looks good.
PILOT:
Ah, Roger.
STEVE:
I've got a blowout in damper three.
SR-71 PILOT:
Get your pitch to zero.
STEVE:
Pitch is out. I can't hold altitude!
B-52 PILOT: Correction. Alpha Hold is oil“.
Threat selector is emergency.
STEVE: Flight Com. I can't hold it!
She's breaking up! She's breaking...
ANNOUNCER:
Steve Austin. Astronaut.
A man barely alive.
Gentlemen, we can rebuild him.
We have the technology.
We have the capability
to make the world's first bionic man.
Steve Austin will be that man.
Better than he was before.
Better, stronger, faster.
(MAIN TITLE THEME)
CAPTAIN: Ladies and gentlemen,
we'll be arriving in San Francisco...
on schedule in 45 minutes.
Right now we're passing over our
Northern California checkpoint...
Delta Charlie.
And down below us is some of America's
most beautiful tall timber country.
(THUDS)
Oscar.
STEVE: Thought I'd better check in
before I headed to the lumber camp.
Right, Steve.
OSCAR:
No sign of Ben.
You still think it's "probably nothing?"
All I know is Ben Cosgrove was up here
on a vacation in the mountains...
and he said he saw
a SX-5 Radio Guidance Antenna...
sticking up on one of the trees
near a lumber camp.
Yeah, I know, what's a highly classified
piece of government equipment...
doing in a non-government place like this?
It's been a week now since he's gone
in for a closer look.
Maybe what he found was a citizen's band
antenna and then just went fishing.
Yeah, but Ben woulda called back.
OSCAR:
I think so.
I better go in and check it out, besides
I always wanted to be a lumberjack.
Somebody's coming, Oscar.
I'll get back to you later.
(BRAKES SQEAK)
You're not one of my men.
I'd sure like to be.
Right.
You looking for work?
Yeah. If they got
any openings up there.
You mean,
If I've got any openings.
I'm Kelly Wixted.
Hop in.
Thanks.
I'm Steve Parker.
KELLY:
see.
Are you Wixted's wife
or daughter?
Daughter.
But he died last year,
so that makes me Wixted all by myself.
Looks like you're holding up alright.
Any daughter of Jake Wixted's wouldn't
be any other way.
He was the toughest thing this side
of Eureka.
You don't look like a logger.
I can handle anything
you throw at me.
A tree, a tractor, a chain saw?
Try me.
I just might.
We're harvesting up there
right now.
That's the high lead.
Kicks the trunks out of the jumble
just like toothpicks.
Gotta be fast on your feet.
Yeah, with a little practice,
I'll get it.
You better... that thing kills.
Hey, boss lady, you look great!
Jeremy Burke, my foreman.
Uh, Steve Parker.
Who's this, another stray?
We're having enough problems
paying the men we got.
What was all that this morning about
losing that new fellow? Cosgrove?
Lose three Cosgroves,
we're still overstaffed.
Jeremy, he said he can do the job,
and I would like to see if he's man enough.
Trust me, Kell,
we don't need this guy.
Wait a minute.
All I'm asking is a chance.
Look, let me top off a tree for you...
then I'll shove off if you still don't
think can... cut it.
Sure. Why not?
This way, gringo.
I was saving this one for myself...
but seeing as you're going to be
so terrific, you can have it.
What would you like me to do with it?
(MEN LAUGHING)
Don't you guys have trees of your own
to take care of?
Okay. You got your gear,
there's the tree.
Take the top 15 feet off,
if you can climb that high.
You got it.
And if you don't,
you take a walk.
Not bad, huh?
He's no timberman.
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
Well, he sure is
good raw material.
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
Get going!
(CHAINSAW STARTS)
He can't even use a saw,
let's dump him, Kell.
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(METAL CLANGS)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(WOOD CREAKING)
(WOOD CREAKING, CRACKING)
What do you mean he can't use a saw,
he was finished.
Kell...
He's hired.
Get him settled. Put him to work.
(BIONIC EYE SOUND EFFECT)
Tracks of a P-22 missile carrier?
Are you sure, Steve?
STEVE:
I'm positive.
Just like the ones I photographed when
I flew over Cuba during the missile crisis.
Huh? What do I do, call in the Marines?
No, give me a little time to get established
as a lumberjack and see what's going on.
STEVE The camp foreman's trying
awfully hard to keep me out of here.
I think he has something to do with
what happened to Ben Cosgrove.
Right. I'll drive over to Stockwell Missile
Research and see what I can dig up.
I think we're onto something
heavy here, pal.
OSCAR: Better be careful...
'cause I don't want you to end up on a
missing-in-action list like Cosgrove.
Neither do I... neither do .
(WOOD CREAKING)
All right!
Get the lead on it!
Alright! Clamp it!
JEREMY:
Take it on up!
(ENGINE REVS)
You're up there, too.
(METAL SQUEAKING)
(BOOMING THUD)
How long you been here, Jeremy?
Long enough.
So what happened to that fellow
Cosgrove you were talking about?
Look, I had to hire you,
but I don't have to talk to you.
I'm just trying to get along, and
it doesn't look like it's gonna be easy.
Yeah? Someday you foreman for a woman
who puts you in charge...
then tells you who to hire.
Yeah.
She's quite a woman.
'Bout the strongest I ever met...
and lemme get something straight
with you...
You stay away from Kelly,
you got it?
Yeah.
Climb in.
We gotta dump this lead.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
Okay, let's honcho 'em on down
toward the mill.
Move it!
Thad, you guys take care
of that pile up down there?
We've get ourselves a small jam-up.
Climb aboard.
Unless you don't know about keeping
your balance on a floating piece of wood?
How many times I gotta prove to you
that I'm a lumberjack?
(SIGHS)
You're still working on the first time.
Come on!
Kelly's old man was the
best timber-man to ever roll a log.
I'm pretty good, what about you?
I've never tried it.
Hop on.
Hop on, I said!
See? It's just a matter of
getting your rhythm...
your feet, the other guy's feet.
See?
'Course, it helps to anticipate a little too...
that's what made old man Wixted so good.
He'd be talking to you easy as this,
looking you straight in the face...
you'd start to think
he wasn't really interested.
Aw!
(MEN LAUGHING)
Sure wish Kelly was here
to see you get dumped.
You want to try that again?
Yeah?
Sure, why not?
Careful, Jeremy!
Ease it.
(MEN LAUGHING)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
Aw!
(MEN LAUGHING)
I don't believe you guys.
I'm working my tail off
to keep this outfit afloat...
and you guys are out there
playing games.
Back off, Kelly!
Yeah, well now you know:
He's good.
And you also know my financial situation,
which is very bad.
I know, I know.
Pretty soon I'm gonna be able to do
something about that.
I told you.
I'm gonna get some money.
Yeah, that's right, Jeremy.
That would really be terrific
if it'd ever happens...
but in the meantime
you just stick to your job.
Now go get dried off.
From now on get your jollies
on your own time.
Yeah. Yeah.
Get going, you've got things to do.
Yeah, that's true.
Hey, I'm Thad Jones.
You're okay.
I'm Steve, thanks.
It would've been a day...
when Jeremy would've come up offering
you a beer for dumping him like that.
What is it? Me? Or is he like that
with everybody new?
Not exactly. There hadn't been anybody
new except you and that other guy.
Cosgrove?
Cosgrove. Yeah, I guess.
He lasted about a day.
Get along with Jeremy
about as well as I do, huh?
Just about.
Last time I saw him was
about a week ago.
I guess he just took off.
Nobody's seen him since?
He and Jeremy got in a big fight on the far
slope there next to one of the big sheds.
Yeah? What about?
Search me.
All I know is that Jeremy's
getting awfully picky...
about all of his little rules
and regulations all of a sudden.
Catch ya later.
Yeah, you bet.
(BIONIC EYE SOUND EFFECT)
Hey, Gringo!
You heard what the lady said,
get dressed.
I got a little job
all picked out for you.
Hello. I'm Oscar Goldman
to see Dr. Morton Craig.
Morton.
It's good to see you.
Oscar. You could give us
a little more notice.
I wish I'd had the time.
Listen, I've been getting some very
distressing reports from a logging camp...
about 100 miles from here.
A logging camp?
Guidance system antenna.
SX-5.
Tread marks from
a P-22 missile carrier.
What would that be
doing over there?
That's what I'm doing here?
I want to get a complete inventory
of all the missiles you have here.
We'll use a computer.
What? You think someone's stolen
some of our missiles?
How could they have
gotten past security?
I don't know,
but I'm not taking any chances.
Just think if someone got their hands on
one of those heat-seekers?
They could blow a jet
right out of the sky.
Right. Let's go.
(BRAKES SQUEAL)
Alright, lumberjack,
they're all yours.
How many of 'em?
Let's say a half-dozen to start.
That oughta keep you outta trouble
for a little while.
Yeah, for a little while.
Where's my chain saw?
Forget the saw, hotshot.
You're gonna be a jack,
use an axe.
I better not see you down in camp
till you're finished here...
or you can kiss your axe goodbye.
It's 11:00 now. I don't expect to see your
face for the rest of the day.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(WOOD CREAKING)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(CRASHING)
(BIONIC EYE SOUND EFFECT)
(DYNAMIC MUSIC)
There's the missile carrier,
but where are the missiles?
(SERIOUS MUSIC)
(VEHICLE APPROACHING)
(HORN HONKING)
(BRAKES SQUEAL)
What're you doing here?
Jeremy told me he sent you to work
on the West Ridge.
Yeah, well I finished up on the trees
he showed me...
and I wasn't sure which ones
he wanted to cut next.
Probably some of the ones
with branches on 'em.
Right.
Well, I figured I better check and I thought
I saw Jeremy heading over this way.
No. We don't use this place any more.
Now, Jeremy is back towards camp.
And from now on would you stay where
you're supposed to be working.
You got that?
Yes, ma'am.
Get in.
You like to run a tight ship,
don't you?
You could say that.
Isn't it a little tough for a woman
to handle all these men?
They respect me.
Like you better learn to.
Oh, I do.
I respect you like crazy.
I'm sorry
I've been so hardnosed.
It's just that this has been
sort of a rough time for me.
Dad left me with a lot
of big money problems.
I'm not going to be able to
make the payroll today...
and when I don't,
most of my men'll walk.
Then I will never get that river-full
of logs down stream.
Won't the men hang
with you till then?
They've been hanging with me,
for three weeks now.
I'm going to have to
declare bankruptcy.
What was Jeremy talking about...
about coming up
with some money for you?
Jeremy's been soft on me
a long time now.
He said something about getting
a lot of money soon and uh...
I don't know. Where's Jeremy
gonna come up with $60,000, huh?
That's a good question.
Mm-hmm.
(ENGINE RUNNING)
(BRAKES SQUEAL)
That's it, hotshot.
You're fired.
For what?
Riding with the boss?
You couldn't've dropped
those six trees that fast...
and I told you not to leave there
till you did.
He said he finished, Jeremy.
That's a lotta bull.
Let's just go see.
And the other four are up there.
You know, the trouble with you,
Jeremy, is you have no faith in me.
(LOUD WHISTLE)
Well, that's lunch.
I don't understand.
(MUMBLES)
She gonna make the payroll finally?
Doesn't look too good, Charlie.
Will you walk?
I don't know.
Yeah, I figured he must be
another Cosgrove.
Look, look.
I told you I didn't want to get into that,
Cosgrove was enough.
Yeah, I know exactly
how deep I'm in...
but arranging accidents
wasn't part of the deal.
How much more?
An even $100,000.
(EXHALES)
Yeah, yeah... I'm here...
I just...
Alright alright,
I'll see what I can do.
Oscar, do you read?
OPERA TOR: One second, Colonel Austin,
I'll patch you through.
OSCAR:
Yeah, Steve, what do you got?
Well, I found the missile launcher.
So far no missiles and no Ben Cosgrove.
Well, Morton and I are running
a computer check.
So far we can't account for two missiles.
STEVE: Well, I'll get back up there as quick
as I can and try to finish the job.
Meanwhile, Oscar, why don't you check
and see if there's any special aircraft...
scheduled to fly over this area soon.
Uh-huh.
With special passengers aboard, huh?
Right. Those missiles have gotta be
aimed at somebody important.
I'll check with you later.
Hey, Steve?
Yeah.
Jeremy said he wanted to see you
up by the high lead.
Now?
Said it was urgent. Said he had some
important information for you.
Jeremy did?
Yeah.
Okay, thanks.
(MACHINERY CREAKING)
(BIONIC EYE SOUND EFFECT)
Hey, Jeremy!
Yeah.
Miss Wixted couldn't make the payroll,
most of the men are gonna quit.
I haven't got time for that now.
Let 'em go!
MAN ON PHONE:
Hello?
Hello... it's Burke.
Now listen.
I want you to get your gear
and get out of here...
and take Cosgrove with you.
You just bring my money and get out,
you hear?!
What about the other party?
It's all done with him.
He's finished.
You just bring my money.
Don't worry, it's all arranged...
and thank you for a fine job.
Goodbye.
Yeah.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(WOOD CREAKING)
(BIONIC EYE SOUND EFFECT)
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(WOOD CREAKING)
(MAN COUGHS)
(COUGHING CONTINUES)
Ben?
Steve? Steve, is that...
Is that...
Take it easy,
I'll get you out of here.
Can't...
Hurts too much. Drugged.
(MOANS)
Don't worry, I'll be back with the
entire Red Cross, you hear?
Okay.
(DYNAMIC MUSIC)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(METAL CREAKING)
(METAL BREAKING)
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
Find anything else?
Well, I'd say it was
an insidejob, Morton.
Some employee who could smuggle out
component parts, say, a bit at a time.
We thought our security was air tight.
Any leads on who it might be?
It would have to be some top staff member...
someone who has complete
access to the complex.
I must be getting careless in my old age,
to have let this happen.
You can't blame yourself. Morton.
Yes, I can.
(PHONE BUZZES)
Yes?
OPERA TOR: It's Colonel Austin
calling Oscar Goldman, sir.
CRAIG:
Are you sure?
Yes, sir. Should I have him
call back, sir?
No, no, I'll talk to him,
put him on.
Dr. Craig on the line, Colonel.
CRAIG:
Yes.
Morton.
Yes.
Where's Oscar?
He's not here right now.
Perhaps I can help.
Just a moment.
This is personal,
would you excuse me?
Of course.
Tell you what I'll do.
I'll go over to the security office and check
the air traffic over the logging camp.
Now then, are you alright?
Yes. Look, I've accounted
for those two missiles.
They were in the
final stages of assembly.
But you know how limited
those rockets are.
My guess is somebody
has a specific plane in mind.
One carrying a V.I.P.
Did you destroy the missiles?
No, but I made a bird's nest
out of the launch control.
Those rockets aren't
going anywhere.
I see... good work.
STEVE:
And I found Ben Cosgrove, too.
I'll need a medical rescue team
down here on the double.
So tell Oscar to get
his task force mobilized.
Meanwhile, I'm gonna
try to get Burke to talk.
Burke?
Yeah, Jeremy Burke, he's the camp
foreman, he's in it up to his neck.
Fill Oscar in, will you?
I gotta go.
Don't worry, Steve, I'll tell Oscar
everything he needs to know.
Right.
Well, what're you doing here?:
Well, I guess I'm not supposed to be...
not after that tree you dropped on me.
(STUTTERS)
I don't know what you're talking about.
I'm talking about that little accident
I almost had.
You think I want you out of here
bad enough to cause an accident?
Maybe.
Because of Kelly? Come on.
Not because of Kelly, Jeremy...
because of those
heat-seekers in the saw mill.
(SAW REVS)
(METAL CRUNCHING)
Aw!
What d'you do, Jeremy?
Arrange accidents for people
you don't like on general principles?
Or just for undercover men
like me and Cosgrove?
You got to be outta your mind.
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(GRUNTS)
Now you knew about us.
Otherwise you wouldn't've gone
so far as attempted murder.
I'm telling you I didn't...
I saw you. I wanna know who you're
working for? You better not say Kelly.
I can't. You don't know
what they'll do to me.
You better worry about
what I'm gonna do to you.
They're gonna shoot down a plane
and I want to know which one!
I don't know.
I don't know!
Steve. What's going on?
A bunch of guys just came by
and said they want to see you.
Oscar Goldman?
Yeah. They said you'd be
looking for Jeremy.
Yeah, well, your foreman here
is in a little trouble.
Why not?
When it rains, it pours.
All of my men except Thad just quit.
Don't you know that's why I did all this?
They were gonna give me a $100,000.
That's right, I could've bailed you out.
$100,000! I coulda helped you,
Kelly, helped us.
That's why I did it.
I don't know what...
What do you mean?
He rented out part of your property
so some of his friends...
could assemble and launch
a couple of guided missiles.
I don't understand.
Well, they planned to shoot down
somebody's plane when it crossed this area.
Jeremy.
Where's Oscar and the men?
They're over by the far storage shed.
Get in.
Where's Oscar?
He couldn't make it.
Although I must admit I didn't make much
of an effort to find him after you called.
No sudden moves, Steve, or
Miss Wixted here will get very dead.
I suppose you got a good reason for this.
Two million of them.
Sure beats a paltry government
pension, doesn't it?
What do you got to do for it?
Who's in that plane that's coming over?
All the key men in the President's cabinet.
That's quite a prize.
Well, it's too bad I disabled
your launcher in there.
Which I thank you for reminding me of...
otherwise I might not have brought
along this backup unit.
Lock them up for now,
we'll dispose of them later.
Not her.
There will be no witnesses, Jeremy.
I said you not her!
I have no time for this kind of melodrama.
That plane will be in range
in seven minutes.
What about all the things I did for you?
You have my deepest appreciation.
What?!
Better do as he says, Jeremy.
Lock them up in that explosive shed
down the road.
Stand on guard at a distance.
If they try to escape, put a bullet in the
case of explosives and blow them up.
(OMINOUS MUSIC)
Get the launcher up to that clearing.
Check the radio guidance antenna.
And get the high altitude radar scan in line.
We've got six minutes!
CAPTAIN: San Francisco International,
this is Air Force II...
approaching checkpoint Delta Charlie.
(DOOR LOCKS)
Jeremy?
What you did was wrong.
It was really wrong.
But I just wanted you to know that...
Did they leave a guard?
Yeah.
You know what that man said
was right.
One bullet into that pile of explosives
out there and this place goes up.
Yep, but we've got to figure a way
out of here, and quick.
(DEVICE BEEPS)
Alright, four minutes now.
The plane will be coming in
from the north, northeast...
at an altitude of
approximately 40,000 feet.
(WHIRS)
Anything on that scope yet?
(BEEPS)
Here they come.
Give it up, you set one foot
outside that door, it's all over.
Maybe not.
(BEEPS)
Two minutes.
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(BIONIC EYE SOUND EFFECT)
Switch to remote.
Calibrate your heading at 0220.
What're you doing?
I'm gonna bounce this off
of our friend out there.
You're crazy, you could
never throw it that far.
If he thinks we're trying to escape
and gets a shot into that explosive...
Then we're gonna go out with a bang.
Hold your breath.
(BIONIC EYE SOUND EFFECT)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
(MULTIPLE DEVICES BEEPING)
(BEEPS)
Standby for launch.
20 seconds... 19,18,17...
16,15,14,13...
12, 11, 10...
(BIONIC EYE SOUND EFFECT)
Eight, seven...
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
Five, four, three, two...
CAPTAIN: We've just seen
two large explosions just below us.
TOWER: Roger, Air Force II.
Will investigate.
I'll cover them, Steve!
Hold it, Morton!
(JET FLYING OVER)
(LIGHT MUSIC)
Hello!
Hi! How you doin'?
Okay.
Good.
What about Jeremy?
STEVE: Well, he committed
some pretty serious crimes...
But we'll ask the judge to take into account
how he helped capture Craig.
With time off for good behavior,
he should be back to work soon.
That's terrific.
Now if I can get this river load
of logs down stream...
maybe I can get back in business.
Who've you got helping you?
Just Thad, nobody else'll trust me
to pay him yet.
Could you use another hand?
Are you kidding?
If I had you around full-time,
I wouldn't need anybody else.
You can have him part of the time.
That's all.
Well, that's a whole lot
better than nothing.
Are you ready?
Yeah.
(ENGINE STARTS)
Well, Oscar, you sure you don't want
to lumber along with us?
You're barking up the wrong tree, pal.
(END THEME MUSIC)