The Six Million Dollar Man (1974–1978): Season 3, Episode 4 - The Song and Dance Spy - full transcript
Steve is assigned to keep an eye on his college buddy, the entertainer John Perry. Oscar suspects the singer of being a courier for an espionage ring.
FLIGHT COM:
It's looks good at NASA One.
B-52 PILOT:
Roger.
BCS Arm switch is on.
FLIGHT COM:
Okay, Victor.
B-52 PILOT:
Landing Rocket Arm switch is on.
Here comes the throttle.
Circuit breakers in.
STEVE:
We have separation.
B-52 PILOT:
Inboard and outboards are on.
I'm comin' forward with the side stick.
FLIGHT COM:
Looks good.
PILOT:
Ah, Roger.
STEVE:
I've got a blowout in damper three.
SR-71 PILOT:
Get your pitch to zero.
STEVE:
Pitch is out. I can't hold altitude!
B-52 PILOT: Correction. Alpha Hold is off.
Threat selector is emergency.
STEVE: Flight Com. I can't hold it!
She's breaking up! She's breaking...
ANNOUNCER:
Steve Austin. Astronaut.
A man barely alive.
Gentlemen, we can rebuild him.
We have the technology.
We have the capability
to make the world's first bionic man.
Steve Austin will be that man.
Better than he was before.
Better, stronger, faster.
(MAIN TITLE THEME)
('7OS POP MUSIC)
SINGERS:
J‘ Ah J‘
J‘ I love you baby,
and if it's quite alright J‘
J‘ I need you baby,
to warm my lonely night J‘
J‘ I love you baby,
trust in me when I say J‘
J‘ Whoa, pretty baby,
don't' bring me down I pray J‘
J‘ Oh pretty baby,
Now that I found you stayJ‘
J‘ And let me love you, baby J‘
J‘ Let me love you J‘
J‘ You're just too good to be true J‘
J‘ Can't take my eyes off you J‘
J‘ You'd be like heaven to touch J‘
J‘ I wanna hold you so much J‘
J‘ At long last love has arrived J‘
J‘ I thank God I'm alive J‘
J‘ You're just too good to be true J‘
J‘ You're just too good
to be true J‘
J‘ You're just too good to be true J‘
J‘ Can't take my eyes off you J‘
(SONG ENDS)
(BAND PLAYS OUTRO)
Loved every minute of it!
That was pretty good, huh?
Good.
Uh-huh, very good.
Come on, let's say hello.
I'll, um... I'll wait here.
You go ahead.
I'll be right back.
JOHN: I'm glad you liked it.
This was one of our best shows.
It was huge!
Uh, excuse me.
'Scuse me?
I'm with the
Atlas Collection Agency.
Our records show you're six months behind
payments for your sound equipment.
Delinquent?
That's right.
I have a warrant here
authorizing repossession.
What?
Oh, no.
I'm sorry. Okay, boys.
Pick it up. Put it in the truck.
Wait a minute, sir. Please.
You gotta. You... you...
What's happening?
What's going on here?
This dude says that we didn't pay
for our sound equipment.
Repossessing the sound equipment.
You're crazy.
No. No, he's not.
Look, I went and blew the money
in Las Vegas gambling.
You what?
Yeah, I did.
But, sir. You've gotta
give me a break.
Please don't take the equipment.
It's my living, you know?
I just have to have that equipment.
I'll make it up, please.
Look, I'm sorry.
I'm just doing my job.
Okay, fellas?
Oh, mister.
Please, mister, please!
Please don't wrinkle my jacket.
Well, if you let me wrinkle your jacket,
I'll let you wrinkle my hair.
(LAUGHTER)
JOHN: How you doing?
STEVE: Great. Hey.
It's really good to see you.
Hiya, John.
Really good to see you.
Hey, gang...
I want you to meet a chum of mine.
He's a super astronaut,
pool shark, right?
Football hero,
and I trust him with my life.
This is Steve Austin.
Hi.
Hi, Steve.
That's Linda, that's Louise,
that's Laura...
and this is my PR man,
Lee Michaels.
Hi, Lee.
Hi there.
We have you going?
That's what we majored in in college.
We used to put each other on.
How was that?
Not bad, huh?
Well, he was pretty convincing.
You were doing
the best you could.
Being convincing
just isn't your thing, John.
Oh, come on.
John, the press is waiting.
Can you ask them to wait?
We got a lot of catch...
I haven't see... how many years?
I haven't seen him in years.
John, John, you can't keep
the press waiting, you know.
Oh, yeah.
How 'bout tomorrow?
Tomorrow. What are we
doing tomorrow?
We'll be here tomorrow.
We'll be here tomorrow.
Can you come by here tomorrow?
Sure.
I'll see you here tomorrow?
You got it.
Okay. Okay.
Deal.
Bye, y'all.
Okay, Steve.
Take care.
Hey, take one of John's cassettes.
Oh, yeah. One of my cassettes.
You'll love it.
I'm... I'm magnificent
if I do say so myself.
Can you afford it?
(LAUGHTER)
Bye, bye.
See you, Steve.
Oh, he's the same funny guy
I used to know.
You sure you don't wanna meet?
No thanks, Steve.
OSCAR:
How long have you known him, anyway?
We were roommates in college.
He's a great guy, close friend.
John Perry is also a courier
for an espionage ring?
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
What?
You heard me.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
(CROWD CHATTER)
CROWD: Aww.
I can't believe it.
I just can't believe it.
Steve, for the past year...
master tapes of
top secret information...
have been stolen and duplicated
by an espionage ring.
Well, who are they?
I don't know.
Say, where is my car anyway?
It's right over there.
Oh, I see.
Well, wouldn't you know it.
It's parked right in front of me.
It's locked. Brake is on.
Well now, you know that's no problem.
Okay.
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(METAL CREAKING)
(POP MUSIC)
I keep forgetting.
Yup.
Say, Oscar, what proof do you have
that John's tied to this espionage ring?
The stolen tapes
were sold globally.
Transactions always took place
in cities where John Perry was playing.
Yeah, but I said proof.
I've got proof in my office.
Yeah, but now, this espionage ring.
You say they sell the tapes.
That's right.
Well, John couldn't possibly be involved.
He doesn't need the money.
I mean, he makes a fortune with records,
concerts, personal appearances.
Money isn't always the motive, Steve.
Sometimes it's blackmail,
mistaken loyalties, things like that.
Next week, John Perry and his group
have been booked...
for a concert in the Philipine Islands.
Manila.
I want you to go with him.
Wait a minute, Oscar.
John's one of my oldest friends.
That's why I'm giving you
the assignment, pal.
No one will suspect you.
Yeah, but, couldn't you send
somebody else?
No. Steve,
stop by my office.
I've got all the proof there
that you'll need.
I'll think about it.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
(CHIMES)
JOHN V. 0.:
He's a super astronaut, pool shark...
football hero, and I trust him with my life.
RADIO DJ: And now here's a hit
that's climbing the charts...
and breaking everybody's heart...
John Perry's latest single recording,
"A Song For You".
J‘ I've been so many places
in my life and time I
J‘ I've sung a lot of songs,
I've made some bad rhyme J‘
J‘ I acted out my love in stages I
J‘ Ten thousand people watching I
I But we're alone now I
I And I'm singing this song for you I
J‘ I know your image of me
is what I hope to be I
I And I've treated you unkindly J‘
I But darlin' can't you see I
I There is no one more... I
(CHIMES)
OSCAR: Steve, I understand
how you feel, but, um...
You're asking me
to betray a friend, Oscar.
I'm asking you to help
catch a spy.
According to you.
Alright.
Let me show you something.
Here is John Perry
backstage in Miami.
Take it.
OSCAR:
Taking a cassette from a Mr. Kimbro.
I repeat. Taking a cassette.
Not giving one away.
How can you be sure
he's taking it?
Because the agent that took the picture
witnessed the transaction.
And here again.
In New York. John Perry.
Backstage. Taking a cassette
from a Mr. Kimbro.
And again in Los Angeles.
Two months later.
Another drop.
Oscar, how do you know
these were drops?
Because the secret information
that was taken from these tapes...
turned up
in European capitals...
in less than a week
after these transactions.
And as I told you earlier...
John Perry was playing
in these cities at the time.
And here...
is another drop.
Just yesterday.
John Perry is slated
to appear in Manila next week.
Think he'll be taking
the information to Manila?
I know he will.
Only this time,
he's gonna take a phony cassette.
We finally discovered how our friend
Mr. Kimbro was stealing our secrets...
so we slipped him a doctored tape.
Look, Oscar,
so far all you've shown me...
is some pictures of John
and some guy...
Who steals government secrets.
Mr. Kimbro has
a record of espionage...
both here in the United States
and Europe for the past ten years.
What do you need me for, Oscar?
Looks like you've got
the case all wrapped up.
Unfortunately, they found out
that we've been watching Kimbro.
Steve, Perry doesn't know this yet.
And he won't for quite some time.
But Kimbro was found dead
this morning.
Steve, you're the only one
that can hang around Perry...
without making them suspicious.
Now here's the plan.
We had an electronic beeper
spun into the tape before it was stolen.
That way we'll always be
within listening range.
I want you to be there
when that tape is delivered.
I've arranged a cover for you.
It's gonna be ugly, Steve...
the way it's starting out.
Your friend Perry might get hurt.
Whatever happens one way
or the other, if you're there...
I could protect John
while spying on him.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
Sally?
Get me a scrambler line to
General McHugh in Guam.
JOHN: Play it... play it down one more time.
Just the last three chords.
D flat to B minor.
Okay. Okay. I got it.
Hey, I'm sorry I kept you waiting.
I'm sorry, girls.
Okay, we can get into it now.
Turn it on. We'll kick right into...
Hey, I ordered those pizzas
over two hours ago. Where you been?
You.
Yes, you. You.
Well, sir, we had a lot
of deliveries to make. I'm sorry.
Yeah, well, where's the pizza?
To tell you the truth, I couldn't
remember whether you said...
light on the cheese
and heavy on the anchovies or...
heavy on the cheese
and light on the anchovies.
See what I mean?
You see what I mean?
Surrounded by incompetents.
Hey, Steve. Glad you could stop by.
How you doing?
It isn't entirely a social visit.
Oh.
I came by to twist your arm
a little bit.
Okay, twist.
I understand you're booked
to play Manila.
Right, right, right.
Would you believe eight generals
descended upon me this morning?
They wanted to see
if I could get you to play...
a service base along the way.
Well, where?
In Guam.
Guam?
John.
They did throw in a little bribe...
that I could go along as liaison officer
if I persuaded you.
Well, in that case,
we'd love to play Guam.
We would love to play Guam,
wouldn't we, girls?
Yeah.
Sure.
John. John, wait a minute.
You promised Manila you'd get there
a week early to plug the concert.
Yeah, well just tell them
we'll be a few days late.
Hey, let's go get the pizzas.
Right.
Lunch, everybody!
Let me just ask you,
was that heavy on the cheese...
and light on the anchovies?
No, that was light on the cheese
and heavy on the anchovies.
I got it.
John!
What do I tell Manila?
Tell 'em it was light on the cheese
and heavy on the anchovies.
One hour, I'll be back.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
(HORN HONKS)
Why don't you look in my ear?
There's a cannon in there.
Greetings, Mr. Damon.
May I recommend
the butterfly chair?
Uh, Mr. Buckner...
I just received a disturbing
phone call from the States.
John Perry will not be here as agreed.
Why?
He's stopping off to entertain
at a military base.
That's very patriotic of Mr. Perry.
This could effect our delivery date.
Day of our delivery
is the day of the concert.
There's another complication.
Colonel Austin
is making the trip with him.
And Austin's an OSI agent.
Why is that a complication?
Makes getting the tape more difficult.
Not necessarily.
What is the Colonel's name again?
Austin.
And what is the military base
that Mr. Perry is playing?
Anderson Air Force Base on Guam.
Then that will be as far
as Colonel Austin will go.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
Oh, isn't it lovely?
(CHATTER)
CRAWFORD:
Colonel Austin?
I'm Crawford
with intelligence, Colonel.
Oh, they told me
you were aboard.
I'd like to go over
the arrival procedure with you.
Well, there's no change.
When the luggage is transferred,
the ground crew will monitor the cassette.
You'll take over again
when we reach the base.
Yes, sir.
How's the signal coming in?
The beep is constant and clear.
Good.
Hey, what're you looking for?
A coaster?
Yeah. Be my guest.
Oh, great.
You know, nobody ever tells me things.
Yeah? Like what?
Like that you're the Colonel Austin
who walked on the moon.
I saw that whole scene on TV.
You did?
I have only one knock, Colonel.
What's that?
Your golf swing.
Bad follow through.
Well, my helmet fogged up.
Can I tell you something?
Another knock?
No. A compliment.
You know, this friendship
you've got going with John...
it's really, really nice.
>PILOT: Ladies and gentlemen,
please fasten your seat belts...
for final approach.
And on behalf of the U. S. Air Force,
welcome to...
Hey, think we should wake him?
Oh, let him dream.
Better buckle up.
Okay.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
Your staff car is over
behind that hangar.
JOHN: Okay. Let's go, gang.
Let's go load up.
Oh, what about our luggage?
They'll pick up the luggage later.
Oh, okay. Okay, let's go, gang.
I guess he said somewhere around there
we can get the staff cars.
This is gonna be a hot concert.
Any other instructions, sir?
Just keep your eye on the luggage
while it's being transferred, huh?
Right.
Got the magic.
Take the big one first, fellas.
Hey, John! Wait up!
Look out! Steve!
(BRAKES SQUEAL)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(BIONIC EYE SOUND EFFECT)
Hey, that was terrific.
What?
The put on with the crate.
It was terrific. Boy.
And you know what,
here's the coup de gras.
This is really clever.
You had 'em paint
1450 pounds on there.
That's...
You had them do that, right?
Well, I guess you're on to me.
Yeah. Good.
You wanna know something?
I'm impressed. I really...
This is the best trick
you've ever pulled on me. Best ever.
I had you going, huh?
You really had me going.
Really.
Come on.
The car's waiting.
Yeah, okay.
Listen, what'd you have them
put in here? Cotton candy?
Come on, John.
Super trick.
Ow! Ow!
I know it's a put on.
But how'd he do it?
Let's see...
Steve, are you sure you can't get
the name of that man...
that drove the forklift truck?
He jumped in a car
and drove away.
Well, it sounds like your
old friend John Perry...
Look, we got no proof John had
anything to do with it at all.
He was just as surprised as I was.
Yes, I know that old ploy.
Trust me now, huh?
And then the next time it happens,
he's in the clear?
Oscar...
Steve, I'm leaving for Manila tonight.
I'll see you there.
Okay, Oscar.
(KNOCKING)
(WATER RUNNING)
Steve!
Steve?
STEVE: Hey.
You wanna borrow a dime?
Oh. Hey, Steve, I...
I was setting you up for a gag.
I was gonna take
your Air Force ID card...
and tell the MP.
You were an imposter.
Come on, John.
You can do better than that.
Yeah, I guess I can.
Instead of taking your Air Force ID,
I can take this one from the OSI.
You never told me
you were an agent, Steve.
Yeah, well, you never asked me.
Hey, let's level with each other, okay?
Why'd you come along on this trip?
Was it the OSI... whatever that is...
They put you up to it?
John, I came
because of our friendship.
You believe me, don't you?
Yeah, of course I believe you.
Hey, get dressed
and we'll go have dinner, okay?
You got it.
See you in a few minutes.
Oh, listen,
then you'll tell me the truth, right?
Truth about what?
Come on, Steve. The crate.
The way you juggled that crate.
Now I know it was some kind of trick.
Come on, buddy. You can trust me.
How'd you do it?
Later, John, huh?
Okay, but if you don't tell me soon...
I'm gonna have to sock it to you.
I'll see you at dinner.
Listen, don't say I didn't warn you.
Hey, get out of here.
(CROWD CHEERING)
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
Thank you very much.
We've got a little surprise for you.
We have a celebrity with us
that I'd like to introduce now.
He's not a performer...
but his TV show thrilled
millions of people all over the world.
I guess you won't recognize
him here on Earth.
But on the moon,
he is the one and the only...
the super astronaut, Colonel Steve Austin!
How about that?
Come on out here!
Come on! Take a bow.
Steve Austin!
How about that?
Alright.
Steve, I have a special treat
just in honor of you.
You don't know about this,
but you're gonna love it.
Folks, I'm really honored today.
I'm gonna do a song for you.
When Steve and I were in school...
Steve wrote this terrific song.
(LAUGHTER)
He told me if I would do this song,
it would make me a star.
So he had me do this song about...
all on special occasions, like...
every night for about two years.
Well, it never made me a star.
But, we're gonna do it for you anyway.
And if you don't like it,
just file your complaint with the composer.
Let's hit it, gang.
1,2. 1,2,3, 4.
(GUITAR INTRO)
(COUNTRY ROCK MUSIC)
J‘ I'd rather have a chicken
than a neighbor J‘
J‘ And I'd rather have a dollar
than a dime J‘
J‘ Yes, if you ain't got the money J‘
J‘ You can't drive a Hollywood bunny J‘
J‘ But you can have yourself
a sunny, funny time J‘
J‘ And you can lock your sock
and then lose the key J‘
J‘ But I tell you I can surely be J‘
J‘ It's hip on down the dusty road of life J‘
J‘ I guess it all depends
upon the way in which you look at things J‘
J‘ Like if you're standing on your head
or the other way around J‘
J‘ You can sail away in a 100-foot boat J‘
J‘ Or just hop in an ocean
and hold your nose J‘
J‘ Oh, so long as you still know
your upside from your down J‘
(GUITAR BREAK)
(SPOKEN)
Now some...
J‘ Now some folks go to workin'
on the railroad day by day J‘
J‘ Others like to earn their keep J‘
J‘ By shucking corn or herding sheep J‘
J‘ Well, others catch the fish
and some pitch hay J‘
J‘ And when you hit it big
and buy a color TV J‘
J‘ But if you ever come lookin' for me J‘
J‘ I'll be chasing everyone
down that dusty road of life J‘
J‘ I guess it all depends
upon the way in which you look at things J‘
J‘ Like if you're standing on your head
or the other way around J‘
J‘ Now you can give the man a hand J‘
J‘ Or a big ol' pocket full of sand J‘
J‘ So long as you still know
your upside from your down J‘
How about a hand for Steve here.
(PHONE RINGS)
Hello?
Steve, it's Oscar.
Where are you?
Manila. I've leamed the tapes
are being offered for sale here in Manila.
Well, by whom?
We don't know yet.
Your airport car is here.
I'll be right with you.
My flight's ready, Oscar.
I'll see you in Manila, hear?
But...
LEE: Come on, my love.
Come on, baby.
Ready to go?
Yep.
Ready to go. Let's...
Come on. Come on, honey.
Let's do it. Quick.
Hey.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
Oooh!
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
PA ANNOUNCER:
Military transport Flight 77...
from Andrews Air Force Base in Guam...
now arriving in Manilalnternational Airport
on runway four.
OSCAR: Hello, Crawford.
Hi, Mr. Goldman.
Where's Colonel Austin?
Sir, he wasn't on that flight.
What? Why not?
He received orders
to stay on Guam.
Orders? What orders?
From whom?
I don't know, sir.
I assumed they were from you.
They weren't from me.
We were told to
proceed without him.
Who said that Colonel Austin
was to stay on Guam?
John Perry.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
Where's the cassette?
It's with their luggage, sir.
You stay with it.
I'm gonna telephone Guam.
Yes, sir.
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(ENGINE STARTS)
STEVE: Oscar?
OSCAR: Go ahead, Steve.
My ETA for Manila is two o'clock.
Have someone there
to check in my plane. Over.
Your change of clothes
is over at the hangar here.
What about the tape?
Hasn't been touched.
Where is it?
With Perry. You learn anything
from the men who grabbed you?
I left that for the Army to do.
No, they wouldn't say anything
about Perry anyway.
Yeah, or couldn't.
You still defending him?
He left you on Guam.
He must've known you were kidnapped.
I want John to explain it to me.
I want to hear it from him.
Crawford is tracking him
technologically.
When he checks in,
you'll have your moment to find out.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
(HORN HONKS)
(STEADY BEEPING)
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
(BRAKES SQUEAL)
I'm sorry.
He's just stunned.
You better wait here for the police though.
Did you... Hey, did you see this?
Yeah, I saw the whole thing.
It's not your fault. Come on.
Thanks for your help.
It's okay. You okay?
(STEADY BEEPING)
(BEEPING SLOWLY FADES)
How much? Two... there you go.
Yeah, just keep it.
Hi.
Hi.
Boy, why'd you bring me
all the way out here?
John, there's this great vase inside...
and I'd really like you to
buy it for me.
Gee, I can't right now, Linda.
I have to go over
to the radio station.
I'm gonna do an interview, and then
they're gonna play my new cassettes.
John, we can walk
to the station from here.
It's only right around the corner.
Please?
You know I can't resist
that beautiful smile.
But let's make it quick, okay?
Okay, great. Come on.
JOHN: What is this?
A wholesale house or something?
Hello, can I help you?
Yeah, my girlfriend saw a vase outside.
Oh, yes. The one that she liked
is right on the desk.
Oh, yeah. Is that it?
Yeah.
I'll take that case, please.
What?
The case.
I would like to have the case.
The case!
Hey, what's going...
Hey! What did you have to do that for?
I cut off the men
that was following Mr. Perry.
Good. Now get to work on these.
Linda, that was beautiful.
If I had known you were going to
do this, man, I would've never...
We had to handle it that way.
There's an OSI agent getting very close...
and our men in Guam couldn't handle it.
With Mr. Perry as our hostage...
Our chances of escape
are much better.
(GASPS)
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
(CAR PHONE RINGS)
Crawford, here.
OSCAR: Anything, Crawford?
Nothing yet, sir.
Where are you?
I'm in the export district
near the docks.
(CHATTER)
You know just
how to play really well.
How we doing, girls?
Fine.
Okay.
How long are you keeping us here?
Shouldn't you be trying to find John
instead of just sitting there?
We're working on it.
Where's that guy with the list
of phone calls I asked for?
He's on his way.
(PLAYS CHORDS)
It's probably the piano player.
Hmm?
Well, nobody ever suspects
a piano player.
What?
I need, um...
Which one of them you think's been
using John without John knowing?
Lee Michaels told John that
he was supposed to stay in Guam.
And Michaels claims
he heard it from Linda.
I think they're both involved...
including John Perry.
You're still trying to sell me that?
(BEEP)
Yes?
Crawford calling, Mr. Goldman.
Go ahead, Crawford.
Mr. Goldman, a strange thing
just happened here in the export district.
The beeper started going
and then all of a sudden it stopped.
You must've gotten out of range.
Double back.
It isn't that, sir.
The beeping sound didn't
fade away like last time.
It just stopped abruptly.
What do you think?
Well, it could be the secret tape's
being run in high powered electronic gear.
That would cause interference,
maybe block it out all together.
Crawford, stand by.
Yes, sir.
Think I'll have
the whole area surrounded.
That's a good idea,
but if they got John...
Colonel, here's a list of calls
that everybody in John Perry's group...
made to numbers in Manila from the time
they arrived in Guam until this morning.
(CHIMES)
Where did Crawford say he was?
Export district near the docks.
That's what I thought.
Crawford, Colonel Austin.
Have you seen a place called
the Manila Export Warehouse?
Just a minute, sir.
(CHIMES)
Colonel Austin...
the Manila Export Warehouse is just west
of where I am now on Escolta street.
Stay where you are.
I'll be right there.
I'm going to join Crawford.
Hello, Linda.
Hi, Steve.
Oscar wants to have
a little talk with you.
Sorry, no time.
I'm already late for rehearsal.
Well, you're gonna be late.
About twenty years late.
Oscar will explain it to you.
Now, Linda, let's hear it.
Two more copies of these,
and we can leave.
Yeah.
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
Take this out to the truck
and get ready.
Perhaps we better tie him first.
Get a rope.
Alright.
Say, would somebody tell me, please,
what's going on here anyway?
You're about to take
a long trip, my friend.
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(LOUD CRASH)
(CRASHING)
Whoa. I'll take care of
this big fella. Yah!
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
Oh no!
JOHN: He's got a match again!
JOHN: Steve! Duck! That's it!
Yah!
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
JOHN: There you go!
Hey! Atta boy, buddy!
Give it to him!
Come on!
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
Alright!
Hold it, Steve.
I'll finish him for you.
John, go sing, will you?
Come on.
You know I think what I sing...
('7OS POP MUSIC)
J‘ You're just too good to be true J‘
J‘ Can't take my eyes off you J‘
J‘ You're like heaven to touch J‘
J‘ I wanna hold you so much J‘
J‘ At long last love has arrived J‘
J‘ And I thank God I'm alive J‘
J‘ You're just too good to be true J‘
J‘ Can't take my eyes off you J‘
J‘ On the way that I stare J‘
J‘ There's nothing else to compare J‘
J‘ The sight of you leaves me weak J‘
J‘ There are no words left to speak J‘
J‘ But if you feel like I feel J‘
J‘ Please let me know that it's real J‘
J‘ You're just too good to be true J‘
J‘ Can't take my eyes off of you J‘
Look out!
(MUSIC STING)
(GASPS)
Thanks, John.
Well, we're even now.
Boy, I'll tell you something.
I can't get over Linda being one of them.
Well, I guess...
I guess they paid better than you did.
You know, she introduced me
to that Kimbro guy.
And she told me he was an arranger.
And then he'd send me
tapes all the time.
Which Linda passed on every time
you played a foreign capital.
Yeah.
By the way, Oscar,
don't you have something to say?
Yes, I'd like to apologize...
for thinking you actually were
a courier, Mr. Perry.
He made you say that, right?
Right.
Right.
(LAUGHS)
Anyway...
I accept your apology.
Thank you.
Put her there, pal.
Excuse me please.
(COMICAL MUSIC)
Thank you.
Um...
Now, I suppose you thought
that was a trick, right?
That's not the case at all.
You see, her father happened
to be the strong man in the circus.
And what happened is... well...
He was one of those...
Yeah, he lifted weights and did all that stuff.
It's probably hereditary.
See, she's an awfully strong girl.
Why don't you go sing a song?
Get out of here.
Let's hit it, gang!
Go.
J‘ I love you baby,
and if it's quite alright J‘
J‘ I need you baby,
to warm my lonely night J‘
J‘ I love you baby,
trust in me when I say J‘
J‘ Whoa, pretty baby,
don't' bring me down I pray J‘
J‘ Oh pretty baby,
Now that I found you stayJ‘
J‘ And let me love you, baby J‘
J‘ Let me love you J‘
J‘ You're just too good to be true J‘
J‘ Can't take my eyes off you J‘
J‘ You'd be like heaven to touch J‘
J‘ I wanna hold you so much J‘
J‘ At long last love has arrived J‘
J‘ I thank God I'm alive J‘
J‘ You're just too good to be true J‘
J‘ You're just too good
to be true J‘
J‘ You're just too good to be true J‘
J‘ Can't take my eyes off you J‘
(END THEME MUSIC)
It's looks good at NASA One.
B-52 PILOT:
Roger.
BCS Arm switch is on.
FLIGHT COM:
Okay, Victor.
B-52 PILOT:
Landing Rocket Arm switch is on.
Here comes the throttle.
Circuit breakers in.
STEVE:
We have separation.
B-52 PILOT:
Inboard and outboards are on.
I'm comin' forward with the side stick.
FLIGHT COM:
Looks good.
PILOT:
Ah, Roger.
STEVE:
I've got a blowout in damper three.
SR-71 PILOT:
Get your pitch to zero.
STEVE:
Pitch is out. I can't hold altitude!
B-52 PILOT: Correction. Alpha Hold is off.
Threat selector is emergency.
STEVE: Flight Com. I can't hold it!
She's breaking up! She's breaking...
ANNOUNCER:
Steve Austin. Astronaut.
A man barely alive.
Gentlemen, we can rebuild him.
We have the technology.
We have the capability
to make the world's first bionic man.
Steve Austin will be that man.
Better than he was before.
Better, stronger, faster.
(MAIN TITLE THEME)
('7OS POP MUSIC)
SINGERS:
J‘ Ah J‘
J‘ I love you baby,
and if it's quite alright J‘
J‘ I need you baby,
to warm my lonely night J‘
J‘ I love you baby,
trust in me when I say J‘
J‘ Whoa, pretty baby,
don't' bring me down I pray J‘
J‘ Oh pretty baby,
Now that I found you stayJ‘
J‘ And let me love you, baby J‘
J‘ Let me love you J‘
J‘ You're just too good to be true J‘
J‘ Can't take my eyes off you J‘
J‘ You'd be like heaven to touch J‘
J‘ I wanna hold you so much J‘
J‘ At long last love has arrived J‘
J‘ I thank God I'm alive J‘
J‘ You're just too good to be true J‘
J‘ You're just too good
to be true J‘
J‘ You're just too good to be true J‘
J‘ Can't take my eyes off you J‘
(SONG ENDS)
(BAND PLAYS OUTRO)
Loved every minute of it!
That was pretty good, huh?
Good.
Uh-huh, very good.
Come on, let's say hello.
I'll, um... I'll wait here.
You go ahead.
I'll be right back.
JOHN: I'm glad you liked it.
This was one of our best shows.
It was huge!
Uh, excuse me.
'Scuse me?
I'm with the
Atlas Collection Agency.
Our records show you're six months behind
payments for your sound equipment.
Delinquent?
That's right.
I have a warrant here
authorizing repossession.
What?
Oh, no.
I'm sorry. Okay, boys.
Pick it up. Put it in the truck.
Wait a minute, sir. Please.
You gotta. You... you...
What's happening?
What's going on here?
This dude says that we didn't pay
for our sound equipment.
Repossessing the sound equipment.
You're crazy.
No. No, he's not.
Look, I went and blew the money
in Las Vegas gambling.
You what?
Yeah, I did.
But, sir. You've gotta
give me a break.
Please don't take the equipment.
It's my living, you know?
I just have to have that equipment.
I'll make it up, please.
Look, I'm sorry.
I'm just doing my job.
Okay, fellas?
Oh, mister.
Please, mister, please!
Please don't wrinkle my jacket.
Well, if you let me wrinkle your jacket,
I'll let you wrinkle my hair.
(LAUGHTER)
JOHN: How you doing?
STEVE: Great. Hey.
It's really good to see you.
Hiya, John.
Really good to see you.
Hey, gang...
I want you to meet a chum of mine.
He's a super astronaut,
pool shark, right?
Football hero,
and I trust him with my life.
This is Steve Austin.
Hi.
Hi, Steve.
That's Linda, that's Louise,
that's Laura...
and this is my PR man,
Lee Michaels.
Hi, Lee.
Hi there.
We have you going?
That's what we majored in in college.
We used to put each other on.
How was that?
Not bad, huh?
Well, he was pretty convincing.
You were doing
the best you could.
Being convincing
just isn't your thing, John.
Oh, come on.
John, the press is waiting.
Can you ask them to wait?
We got a lot of catch...
I haven't see... how many years?
I haven't seen him in years.
John, John, you can't keep
the press waiting, you know.
Oh, yeah.
How 'bout tomorrow?
Tomorrow. What are we
doing tomorrow?
We'll be here tomorrow.
We'll be here tomorrow.
Can you come by here tomorrow?
Sure.
I'll see you here tomorrow?
You got it.
Okay. Okay.
Deal.
Bye, y'all.
Okay, Steve.
Take care.
Hey, take one of John's cassettes.
Oh, yeah. One of my cassettes.
You'll love it.
I'm... I'm magnificent
if I do say so myself.
Can you afford it?
(LAUGHTER)
Bye, bye.
See you, Steve.
Oh, he's the same funny guy
I used to know.
You sure you don't wanna meet?
No thanks, Steve.
OSCAR:
How long have you known him, anyway?
We were roommates in college.
He's a great guy, close friend.
John Perry is also a courier
for an espionage ring?
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
What?
You heard me.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
(CROWD CHATTER)
CROWD: Aww.
I can't believe it.
I just can't believe it.
Steve, for the past year...
master tapes of
top secret information...
have been stolen and duplicated
by an espionage ring.
Well, who are they?
I don't know.
Say, where is my car anyway?
It's right over there.
Oh, I see.
Well, wouldn't you know it.
It's parked right in front of me.
It's locked. Brake is on.
Well now, you know that's no problem.
Okay.
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(METAL CREAKING)
(POP MUSIC)
I keep forgetting.
Yup.
Say, Oscar, what proof do you have
that John's tied to this espionage ring?
The stolen tapes
were sold globally.
Transactions always took place
in cities where John Perry was playing.
Yeah, but I said proof.
I've got proof in my office.
Yeah, but now, this espionage ring.
You say they sell the tapes.
That's right.
Well, John couldn't possibly be involved.
He doesn't need the money.
I mean, he makes a fortune with records,
concerts, personal appearances.
Money isn't always the motive, Steve.
Sometimes it's blackmail,
mistaken loyalties, things like that.
Next week, John Perry and his group
have been booked...
for a concert in the Philipine Islands.
Manila.
I want you to go with him.
Wait a minute, Oscar.
John's one of my oldest friends.
That's why I'm giving you
the assignment, pal.
No one will suspect you.
Yeah, but, couldn't you send
somebody else?
No. Steve,
stop by my office.
I've got all the proof there
that you'll need.
I'll think about it.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
(CHIMES)
JOHN V. 0.:
He's a super astronaut, pool shark...
football hero, and I trust him with my life.
RADIO DJ: And now here's a hit
that's climbing the charts...
and breaking everybody's heart...
John Perry's latest single recording,
"A Song For You".
J‘ I've been so many places
in my life and time I
J‘ I've sung a lot of songs,
I've made some bad rhyme J‘
J‘ I acted out my love in stages I
J‘ Ten thousand people watching I
I But we're alone now I
I And I'm singing this song for you I
J‘ I know your image of me
is what I hope to be I
I And I've treated you unkindly J‘
I But darlin' can't you see I
I There is no one more... I
(CHIMES)
OSCAR: Steve, I understand
how you feel, but, um...
You're asking me
to betray a friend, Oscar.
I'm asking you to help
catch a spy.
According to you.
Alright.
Let me show you something.
Here is John Perry
backstage in Miami.
Take it.
OSCAR:
Taking a cassette from a Mr. Kimbro.
I repeat. Taking a cassette.
Not giving one away.
How can you be sure
he's taking it?
Because the agent that took the picture
witnessed the transaction.
And here again.
In New York. John Perry.
Backstage. Taking a cassette
from a Mr. Kimbro.
And again in Los Angeles.
Two months later.
Another drop.
Oscar, how do you know
these were drops?
Because the secret information
that was taken from these tapes...
turned up
in European capitals...
in less than a week
after these transactions.
And as I told you earlier...
John Perry was playing
in these cities at the time.
And here...
is another drop.
Just yesterday.
John Perry is slated
to appear in Manila next week.
Think he'll be taking
the information to Manila?
I know he will.
Only this time,
he's gonna take a phony cassette.
We finally discovered how our friend
Mr. Kimbro was stealing our secrets...
so we slipped him a doctored tape.
Look, Oscar,
so far all you've shown me...
is some pictures of John
and some guy...
Who steals government secrets.
Mr. Kimbro has
a record of espionage...
both here in the United States
and Europe for the past ten years.
What do you need me for, Oscar?
Looks like you've got
the case all wrapped up.
Unfortunately, they found out
that we've been watching Kimbro.
Steve, Perry doesn't know this yet.
And he won't for quite some time.
But Kimbro was found dead
this morning.
Steve, you're the only one
that can hang around Perry...
without making them suspicious.
Now here's the plan.
We had an electronic beeper
spun into the tape before it was stolen.
That way we'll always be
within listening range.
I want you to be there
when that tape is delivered.
I've arranged a cover for you.
It's gonna be ugly, Steve...
the way it's starting out.
Your friend Perry might get hurt.
Whatever happens one way
or the other, if you're there...
I could protect John
while spying on him.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
Sally?
Get me a scrambler line to
General McHugh in Guam.
JOHN: Play it... play it down one more time.
Just the last three chords.
D flat to B minor.
Okay. Okay. I got it.
Hey, I'm sorry I kept you waiting.
I'm sorry, girls.
Okay, we can get into it now.
Turn it on. We'll kick right into...
Hey, I ordered those pizzas
over two hours ago. Where you been?
You.
Yes, you. You.
Well, sir, we had a lot
of deliveries to make. I'm sorry.
Yeah, well, where's the pizza?
To tell you the truth, I couldn't
remember whether you said...
light on the cheese
and heavy on the anchovies or...
heavy on the cheese
and light on the anchovies.
See what I mean?
You see what I mean?
Surrounded by incompetents.
Hey, Steve. Glad you could stop by.
How you doing?
It isn't entirely a social visit.
Oh.
I came by to twist your arm
a little bit.
Okay, twist.
I understand you're booked
to play Manila.
Right, right, right.
Would you believe eight generals
descended upon me this morning?
They wanted to see
if I could get you to play...
a service base along the way.
Well, where?
In Guam.
Guam?
John.
They did throw in a little bribe...
that I could go along as liaison officer
if I persuaded you.
Well, in that case,
we'd love to play Guam.
We would love to play Guam,
wouldn't we, girls?
Yeah.
Sure.
John. John, wait a minute.
You promised Manila you'd get there
a week early to plug the concert.
Yeah, well just tell them
we'll be a few days late.
Hey, let's go get the pizzas.
Right.
Lunch, everybody!
Let me just ask you,
was that heavy on the cheese...
and light on the anchovies?
No, that was light on the cheese
and heavy on the anchovies.
I got it.
John!
What do I tell Manila?
Tell 'em it was light on the cheese
and heavy on the anchovies.
One hour, I'll be back.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
(HORN HONKS)
Why don't you look in my ear?
There's a cannon in there.
Greetings, Mr. Damon.
May I recommend
the butterfly chair?
Uh, Mr. Buckner...
I just received a disturbing
phone call from the States.
John Perry will not be here as agreed.
Why?
He's stopping off to entertain
at a military base.
That's very patriotic of Mr. Perry.
This could effect our delivery date.
Day of our delivery
is the day of the concert.
There's another complication.
Colonel Austin
is making the trip with him.
And Austin's an OSI agent.
Why is that a complication?
Makes getting the tape more difficult.
Not necessarily.
What is the Colonel's name again?
Austin.
And what is the military base
that Mr. Perry is playing?
Anderson Air Force Base on Guam.
Then that will be as far
as Colonel Austin will go.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
Oh, isn't it lovely?
(CHATTER)
CRAWFORD:
Colonel Austin?
I'm Crawford
with intelligence, Colonel.
Oh, they told me
you were aboard.
I'd like to go over
the arrival procedure with you.
Well, there's no change.
When the luggage is transferred,
the ground crew will monitor the cassette.
You'll take over again
when we reach the base.
Yes, sir.
How's the signal coming in?
The beep is constant and clear.
Good.
Hey, what're you looking for?
A coaster?
Yeah. Be my guest.
Oh, great.
You know, nobody ever tells me things.
Yeah? Like what?
Like that you're the Colonel Austin
who walked on the moon.
I saw that whole scene on TV.
You did?
I have only one knock, Colonel.
What's that?
Your golf swing.
Bad follow through.
Well, my helmet fogged up.
Can I tell you something?
Another knock?
No. A compliment.
You know, this friendship
you've got going with John...
it's really, really nice.
>PILOT: Ladies and gentlemen,
please fasten your seat belts...
for final approach.
And on behalf of the U. S. Air Force,
welcome to...
Hey, think we should wake him?
Oh, let him dream.
Better buckle up.
Okay.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
Your staff car is over
behind that hangar.
JOHN: Okay. Let's go, gang.
Let's go load up.
Oh, what about our luggage?
They'll pick up the luggage later.
Oh, okay. Okay, let's go, gang.
I guess he said somewhere around there
we can get the staff cars.
This is gonna be a hot concert.
Any other instructions, sir?
Just keep your eye on the luggage
while it's being transferred, huh?
Right.
Got the magic.
Take the big one first, fellas.
Hey, John! Wait up!
Look out! Steve!
(BRAKES SQUEAL)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(BIONIC EYE SOUND EFFECT)
Hey, that was terrific.
What?
The put on with the crate.
It was terrific. Boy.
And you know what,
here's the coup de gras.
This is really clever.
You had 'em paint
1450 pounds on there.
That's...
You had them do that, right?
Well, I guess you're on to me.
Yeah. Good.
You wanna know something?
I'm impressed. I really...
This is the best trick
you've ever pulled on me. Best ever.
I had you going, huh?
You really had me going.
Really.
Come on.
The car's waiting.
Yeah, okay.
Listen, what'd you have them
put in here? Cotton candy?
Come on, John.
Super trick.
Ow! Ow!
I know it's a put on.
But how'd he do it?
Let's see...
Steve, are you sure you can't get
the name of that man...
that drove the forklift truck?
He jumped in a car
and drove away.
Well, it sounds like your
old friend John Perry...
Look, we got no proof John had
anything to do with it at all.
He was just as surprised as I was.
Yes, I know that old ploy.
Trust me now, huh?
And then the next time it happens,
he's in the clear?
Oscar...
Steve, I'm leaving for Manila tonight.
I'll see you there.
Okay, Oscar.
(KNOCKING)
(WATER RUNNING)
Steve!
Steve?
STEVE: Hey.
You wanna borrow a dime?
Oh. Hey, Steve, I...
I was setting you up for a gag.
I was gonna take
your Air Force ID card...
and tell the MP.
You were an imposter.
Come on, John.
You can do better than that.
Yeah, I guess I can.
Instead of taking your Air Force ID,
I can take this one from the OSI.
You never told me
you were an agent, Steve.
Yeah, well, you never asked me.
Hey, let's level with each other, okay?
Why'd you come along on this trip?
Was it the OSI... whatever that is...
They put you up to it?
John, I came
because of our friendship.
You believe me, don't you?
Yeah, of course I believe you.
Hey, get dressed
and we'll go have dinner, okay?
You got it.
See you in a few minutes.
Oh, listen,
then you'll tell me the truth, right?
Truth about what?
Come on, Steve. The crate.
The way you juggled that crate.
Now I know it was some kind of trick.
Come on, buddy. You can trust me.
How'd you do it?
Later, John, huh?
Okay, but if you don't tell me soon...
I'm gonna have to sock it to you.
I'll see you at dinner.
Listen, don't say I didn't warn you.
Hey, get out of here.
(CROWD CHEERING)
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
Thank you very much.
We've got a little surprise for you.
We have a celebrity with us
that I'd like to introduce now.
He's not a performer...
but his TV show thrilled
millions of people all over the world.
I guess you won't recognize
him here on Earth.
But on the moon,
he is the one and the only...
the super astronaut, Colonel Steve Austin!
How about that?
Come on out here!
Come on! Take a bow.
Steve Austin!
How about that?
Alright.
Steve, I have a special treat
just in honor of you.
You don't know about this,
but you're gonna love it.
Folks, I'm really honored today.
I'm gonna do a song for you.
When Steve and I were in school...
Steve wrote this terrific song.
(LAUGHTER)
He told me if I would do this song,
it would make me a star.
So he had me do this song about...
all on special occasions, like...
every night for about two years.
Well, it never made me a star.
But, we're gonna do it for you anyway.
And if you don't like it,
just file your complaint with the composer.
Let's hit it, gang.
1,2. 1,2,3, 4.
(GUITAR INTRO)
(COUNTRY ROCK MUSIC)
J‘ I'd rather have a chicken
than a neighbor J‘
J‘ And I'd rather have a dollar
than a dime J‘
J‘ Yes, if you ain't got the money J‘
J‘ You can't drive a Hollywood bunny J‘
J‘ But you can have yourself
a sunny, funny time J‘
J‘ And you can lock your sock
and then lose the key J‘
J‘ But I tell you I can surely be J‘
J‘ It's hip on down the dusty road of life J‘
J‘ I guess it all depends
upon the way in which you look at things J‘
J‘ Like if you're standing on your head
or the other way around J‘
J‘ You can sail away in a 100-foot boat J‘
J‘ Or just hop in an ocean
and hold your nose J‘
J‘ Oh, so long as you still know
your upside from your down J‘
(GUITAR BREAK)
(SPOKEN)
Now some...
J‘ Now some folks go to workin'
on the railroad day by day J‘
J‘ Others like to earn their keep J‘
J‘ By shucking corn or herding sheep J‘
J‘ Well, others catch the fish
and some pitch hay J‘
J‘ And when you hit it big
and buy a color TV J‘
J‘ But if you ever come lookin' for me J‘
J‘ I'll be chasing everyone
down that dusty road of life J‘
J‘ I guess it all depends
upon the way in which you look at things J‘
J‘ Like if you're standing on your head
or the other way around J‘
J‘ Now you can give the man a hand J‘
J‘ Or a big ol' pocket full of sand J‘
J‘ So long as you still know
your upside from your down J‘
How about a hand for Steve here.
(PHONE RINGS)
Hello?
Steve, it's Oscar.
Where are you?
Manila. I've leamed the tapes
are being offered for sale here in Manila.
Well, by whom?
We don't know yet.
Your airport car is here.
I'll be right with you.
My flight's ready, Oscar.
I'll see you in Manila, hear?
But...
LEE: Come on, my love.
Come on, baby.
Ready to go?
Yep.
Ready to go. Let's...
Come on. Come on, honey.
Let's do it. Quick.
Hey.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
Oooh!
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
PA ANNOUNCER:
Military transport Flight 77...
from Andrews Air Force Base in Guam...
now arriving in Manilalnternational Airport
on runway four.
OSCAR: Hello, Crawford.
Hi, Mr. Goldman.
Where's Colonel Austin?
Sir, he wasn't on that flight.
What? Why not?
He received orders
to stay on Guam.
Orders? What orders?
From whom?
I don't know, sir.
I assumed they were from you.
They weren't from me.
We were told to
proceed without him.
Who said that Colonel Austin
was to stay on Guam?
John Perry.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
Where's the cassette?
It's with their luggage, sir.
You stay with it.
I'm gonna telephone Guam.
Yes, sir.
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(ENGINE STARTS)
STEVE: Oscar?
OSCAR: Go ahead, Steve.
My ETA for Manila is two o'clock.
Have someone there
to check in my plane. Over.
Your change of clothes
is over at the hangar here.
What about the tape?
Hasn't been touched.
Where is it?
With Perry. You learn anything
from the men who grabbed you?
I left that for the Army to do.
No, they wouldn't say anything
about Perry anyway.
Yeah, or couldn't.
You still defending him?
He left you on Guam.
He must've known you were kidnapped.
I want John to explain it to me.
I want to hear it from him.
Crawford is tracking him
technologically.
When he checks in,
you'll have your moment to find out.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
(HORN HONKS)
(STEADY BEEPING)
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
(BRAKES SQUEAL)
I'm sorry.
He's just stunned.
You better wait here for the police though.
Did you... Hey, did you see this?
Yeah, I saw the whole thing.
It's not your fault. Come on.
Thanks for your help.
It's okay. You okay?
(STEADY BEEPING)
(BEEPING SLOWLY FADES)
How much? Two... there you go.
Yeah, just keep it.
Hi.
Hi.
Boy, why'd you bring me
all the way out here?
John, there's this great vase inside...
and I'd really like you to
buy it for me.
Gee, I can't right now, Linda.
I have to go over
to the radio station.
I'm gonna do an interview, and then
they're gonna play my new cassettes.
John, we can walk
to the station from here.
It's only right around the corner.
Please?
You know I can't resist
that beautiful smile.
But let's make it quick, okay?
Okay, great. Come on.
JOHN: What is this?
A wholesale house or something?
Hello, can I help you?
Yeah, my girlfriend saw a vase outside.
Oh, yes. The one that she liked
is right on the desk.
Oh, yeah. Is that it?
Yeah.
I'll take that case, please.
What?
The case.
I would like to have the case.
The case!
Hey, what's going...
Hey! What did you have to do that for?
I cut off the men
that was following Mr. Perry.
Good. Now get to work on these.
Linda, that was beautiful.
If I had known you were going to
do this, man, I would've never...
We had to handle it that way.
There's an OSI agent getting very close...
and our men in Guam couldn't handle it.
With Mr. Perry as our hostage...
Our chances of escape
are much better.
(GASPS)
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
(CAR PHONE RINGS)
Crawford, here.
OSCAR: Anything, Crawford?
Nothing yet, sir.
Where are you?
I'm in the export district
near the docks.
(CHATTER)
You know just
how to play really well.
How we doing, girls?
Fine.
Okay.
How long are you keeping us here?
Shouldn't you be trying to find John
instead of just sitting there?
We're working on it.
Where's that guy with the list
of phone calls I asked for?
He's on his way.
(PLAYS CHORDS)
It's probably the piano player.
Hmm?
Well, nobody ever suspects
a piano player.
What?
I need, um...
Which one of them you think's been
using John without John knowing?
Lee Michaels told John that
he was supposed to stay in Guam.
And Michaels claims
he heard it from Linda.
I think they're both involved...
including John Perry.
You're still trying to sell me that?
(BEEP)
Yes?
Crawford calling, Mr. Goldman.
Go ahead, Crawford.
Mr. Goldman, a strange thing
just happened here in the export district.
The beeper started going
and then all of a sudden it stopped.
You must've gotten out of range.
Double back.
It isn't that, sir.
The beeping sound didn't
fade away like last time.
It just stopped abruptly.
What do you think?
Well, it could be the secret tape's
being run in high powered electronic gear.
That would cause interference,
maybe block it out all together.
Crawford, stand by.
Yes, sir.
Think I'll have
the whole area surrounded.
That's a good idea,
but if they got John...
Colonel, here's a list of calls
that everybody in John Perry's group...
made to numbers in Manila from the time
they arrived in Guam until this morning.
(CHIMES)
Where did Crawford say he was?
Export district near the docks.
That's what I thought.
Crawford, Colonel Austin.
Have you seen a place called
the Manila Export Warehouse?
Just a minute, sir.
(CHIMES)
Colonel Austin...
the Manila Export Warehouse is just west
of where I am now on Escolta street.
Stay where you are.
I'll be right there.
I'm going to join Crawford.
Hello, Linda.
Hi, Steve.
Oscar wants to have
a little talk with you.
Sorry, no time.
I'm already late for rehearsal.
Well, you're gonna be late.
About twenty years late.
Oscar will explain it to you.
Now, Linda, let's hear it.
Two more copies of these,
and we can leave.
Yeah.
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
Take this out to the truck
and get ready.
Perhaps we better tie him first.
Get a rope.
Alright.
Say, would somebody tell me, please,
what's going on here anyway?
You're about to take
a long trip, my friend.
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
(LOUD CRASH)
(CRASHING)
Whoa. I'll take care of
this big fella. Yah!
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
Oh no!
JOHN: He's got a match again!
JOHN: Steve! Duck! That's it!
Yah!
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
JOHN: There you go!
Hey! Atta boy, buddy!
Give it to him!
Come on!
(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)
Alright!
Hold it, Steve.
I'll finish him for you.
John, go sing, will you?
Come on.
You know I think what I sing...
('7OS POP MUSIC)
J‘ You're just too good to be true J‘
J‘ Can't take my eyes off you J‘
J‘ You're like heaven to touch J‘
J‘ I wanna hold you so much J‘
J‘ At long last love has arrived J‘
J‘ And I thank God I'm alive J‘
J‘ You're just too good to be true J‘
J‘ Can't take my eyes off you J‘
J‘ On the way that I stare J‘
J‘ There's nothing else to compare J‘
J‘ The sight of you leaves me weak J‘
J‘ There are no words left to speak J‘
J‘ But if you feel like I feel J‘
J‘ Please let me know that it's real J‘
J‘ You're just too good to be true J‘
J‘ Can't take my eyes off of you J‘
Look out!
(MUSIC STING)
(GASPS)
Thanks, John.
Well, we're even now.
Boy, I'll tell you something.
I can't get over Linda being one of them.
Well, I guess...
I guess they paid better than you did.
You know, she introduced me
to that Kimbro guy.
And she told me he was an arranger.
And then he'd send me
tapes all the time.
Which Linda passed on every time
you played a foreign capital.
Yeah.
By the way, Oscar,
don't you have something to say?
Yes, I'd like to apologize...
for thinking you actually were
a courier, Mr. Perry.
He made you say that, right?
Right.
Right.
(LAUGHS)
Anyway...
I accept your apology.
Thank you.
Put her there, pal.
Excuse me please.
(COMICAL MUSIC)
Thank you.
Um...
Now, I suppose you thought
that was a trick, right?
That's not the case at all.
You see, her father happened
to be the strong man in the circus.
And what happened is... well...
He was one of those...
Yeah, he lifted weights and did all that stuff.
It's probably hereditary.
See, she's an awfully strong girl.
Why don't you go sing a song?
Get out of here.
Let's hit it, gang!
Go.
J‘ I love you baby,
and if it's quite alright J‘
J‘ I need you baby,
to warm my lonely night J‘
J‘ I love you baby,
trust in me when I say J‘
J‘ Whoa, pretty baby,
don't' bring me down I pray J‘
J‘ Oh pretty baby,
Now that I found you stayJ‘
J‘ And let me love you, baby J‘
J‘ Let me love you J‘
J‘ You're just too good to be true J‘
J‘ Can't take my eyes off you J‘
J‘ You'd be like heaven to touch J‘
J‘ I wanna hold you so much J‘
J‘ At long last love has arrived J‘
J‘ I thank God I'm alive J‘
J‘ You're just too good to be true J‘
J‘ You're just too good
to be true J‘
J‘ You're just too good to be true J‘
J‘ Can't take my eyes off you J‘
(END THEME MUSIC)