The Simpsons (1989–…): Season 34, Episode 12 - My Life as a Vlog - full transcript
The rise and fall of the Simpson Family Vlog is told through a series of recommended YouTube videos.
Hmm. Hmm.
Hmm!
Hey, guys.
It's your favorite
YouTube family vloggers:
the Simpsons.
Coinstar bought us a new house,
and we're gonna give
you the grand tour.
Come on in. Take
your shoes off first.
All 50 million of you.
Now, we can't tell you where
the new house is located
because we value our privacy.
Which you know if you watched
our last family therapy sesh
where Marge begged me to
stop filming our therapy seshes.
Video link in bio.
This is my favorite room
because the kitchen is
really the heart of a home.
Also, because a robot cleans it.
And check it out.
The refrigerator
blends into the wall.
No more tedious seeing
your refrigerator all the time.
Come on, we want to
show you our favorite room.
This is our screening room.
It's also where we
shoot our confessionals.
It's cool that Dad doesn't have
to work nine to five anymore.
We just have to
post 15 videos a day.
After homeschooling,
we're free to do fun kid stuff.
Zoom calls with
our fan club in Dubai,
giving Lamborghinis
to the homeless.
Sometimes I just
chill in my room,
recording Cameo messages
until my voice gives out.
Huh.
M'atchomaroon,
or "Hey, guys" in Dothraki.
Today I'm doing a deep-dive
on the Internet's
current obsession,
The Simpsons Family
Channel. Camera 2.
In case you've been living in a
tauntaun these past four months,
here's the video
that started it all:
"Cute Baby Gets Stage
Fright." Let's take a look.
Maggie, remember
what we practiced.
Poke Daddy's tummy
and kill the ants.
Shake your diaper,
touch the starfish,
open your sandwich,
and Mick Jagger, Jagger, Jagger.
No, don't!
Best... origin story... ever.
It deservedly got
20 million views,
and Homer launched a
channel all about the special bond
between himself and
the youngling Maggie.
Say, Maggie,
do you think our viewers
could enter the code "Aw"
Mmm.
The Internet fell in love
with the rest of the Simpsons
when they released...
Whoa, what's going on?
Oh. I love this song.
Hmm.
Hmm.
Greetings, newshounds.
Today, a retrospective on
The Simpsons Family Vlog.
In case you've been living in
a grammar-rodeo boot camp
these past four months,
here's the video
that started it all.
Soon each family member
had their own channel.
Marge combined
her love of cooking
and deeply personal questions
for a groundbreaking
interview show.
How you holding up, Krusty?
Ready for number four?
I'm not gonna lie,
number three feels like
it's not done with me,
but my agent said this is
what talk shows are now,
so... bring it on.
Next up, The Coagulator.
A tuna melt dipped
in funnel cake batter,
then fried in hot mayonnaise.
It clocks in at 300,000
on the Lethargo Scale.
Oh, I'm really regretting
all those bagels
I ate in the greenroom.
The grease and
the powdered sugar
are forming a paste in
the back of my throat.
Do you think your
comedy is fueled by rage
towards your father
or towards yourself?
Well, I'd rather talk about
my new holiday movie,
A Very Merry Bris-mas.
Oh, the batter is in my lungs.
Ow! Why is this a show?!
And Bart took
pranking to a whole new level
with The 'Gurt Squad.
Can I sample the
strawberry yogurt?
Wait, I'm allergic to strawb...
The Simpsons were
YouTube sensations,
and corporate
America lavished them
with sponsorships and lucre.
But Lisa used her newfound fame
to draw attention to
issues close to her heart.
Hey, guys. I'm here
at Needle Beach,
super stoked to
start this clean-up
because, as you can see,
this beach is pretty messed up.
What's that?
Oh! Oh, you poor thing.
Luckily, I always
carry wire cutters.
Attention, Internet.
It is I, Truth Wizard.
The Simpsons are not
who you think they are,
and I can't let
these lies continue
for even one more sec...
and I can't let
these lies continue
for even one more sec...
Milhouse, why
are you sitting in the dark?
You'll ruin your eyes.
Mom.
The doctor said your nose
can't support thicker glasses.
I'm recording a
takedown. Get out.
Okay, fine, it's me, Milhouse.
I was the one filming
every Simpson family video.
Take your shoes off first.
All 50 million of you.
Yo, camera-monkey, shoes off.
I saw firsthand
how the pressure to create content
turned them into monsters.
- Where the hell is the refrigerator?!
- Coming.
You have to tap it.
Oh, who would want this?
- I'm getting a hammer.
- No.
You never let me get the hammer!
Ew, your hand is so sweaty.
Would you tell my scene
partner to be professional?
Uh,
Bart? Lisa has a note...
Shut up, Milhouse.
Ow.
And those cool
'Gurt Squad friends
that hype up
Bart's prank videos?
Paid Spucklers.
Hey, guys, you
don't have to go home
just 'cause we're
done filming pranks.
Yeah, we was meaning
to ask you about that.
How is what you do a prank?
This just seems like a
mean-spirited waste of yogurt.
Okay, we'll use
pudding. Great note.
Hey, you guys want to
jump on my trampoline?
I'll take the safety
barrier down.
We prefer to keep our
relationship professional.
I'll... pay you.
Fine.
Time and a half.
And a basket of eggs.
Our hen is feeling poorly.
Even my
off-again, off-again girlfriend Lisa
fell prey to the siren's
call of Internet fame.
What the hell is this?
This beach is spotless.
Sorry,
Lisa. We're on it.
Now where's this thing
I'm supposed to save?
Uh, Gil, how's it coming?
I-I'm trying. Ow!
This little fella's really
good at freeing himself.
That's
a rented seal. Catch him.
We're gonna lose our deposit.
But let's take a look
at the relationship
that started this
whole crazy ride:
Homer and Maggie.
We are so excited
to work with Maggie
on this viral campaign for
European Nom-cation.
We got Maggie's room all set up
for the ultimate immersive
Nom-Nom experience.
Uh, one little hiccup.
Maggie's terrified of Nom-Noms,
especially the girl one.
I'm not sure why.
Uh, Bart will do it.
The yogurt kid? No way. No.
Either the Internet
baby goes in there,
or you forfeit all
nom-pensation.
So that's, uh,
"nom" -negotiable?
That's not a real word.
Maggie, there's a cute
baby bunny in there,
so put this GoPro
on your head...
Nom-nom-nom-nom-nom-nom-nom-nom.
Nom-nom-nom-nom-nom-nom-
nom-nom-nom-nom-nom-nom...
Oh...
Maggie, I'm sorry.
Poor Maggie. Although
I like the girl Nom-Nom.
I like her a lot.
I like the way her glasses
have eyelashes and...
Milhouse,
come do your ear drops.
Mom!
Hey, guys.
Welcome to episode 751 of
The Lenny and Carl Situation.
Back with us is our
frequent guest Moe.
You gonna behave today, Moe?
Hey, don't cancel me, huh?
Today we're talking
about the Simpson family,
specifically "Super Dad"
himself, Homer Simpson.
Guy's a phony.
You go back five, six months,
we were best
friends with the guy
before he got famous
for those baby videos.
Yeah, so many nights getting
blackout drunk with Homer.
I don't remember him
mentioning that baby once.
And I heard Maggie won't
make any more videos with him.
What people been seeing
is all high-tech trickery.
Intern Barney, play the clip.
Mmm.
Oh, even fake Maggies hate me.
You know, I'm thinking about
going on the all-peanut
diet. You heard about this?
Supposed to be
great for the adrenals.
You know, the Aztecs,
that's all they ate was peanuts.
Not like the crap we got today.
Them ancient nuts, they
was full of that, uh, uh,
niacinnamonites. Yeah.
'Cause of the sand they had.
And they lived to be a
hundred, 200 years old.
Same
thing with the Mayans and cashews...
Uh-uh.
Hey, guys.
We know there have been
a lot of rumors going around.
So we wanted to
formally announce
that we'll be making a
formal announcement
tomorrow night on our livestream
which will address all
the recent controversies.
And we'll Cluck-Stop at
nothing to earn your trust back.
That was nine days ago.
Nobody has seen or heard
from the Simpsons family since.
Over the next two hours, I
will break down my theories
on what might have caused
their dramatic disappearance
on this special edition of...
That's your cue. This
special edition of...
Frinkileaks.
Now play the suspenseful music.
No, that's a latte macchiato.
Well, you might as well
finish my coffee now.
Which brings us once
again to Snowball I,
which...
Marker fumes. Oh, my.
Hoyvik! Blarvlagin! Ivy.
I apologize.
Um... in summary, I have
concluded that the Simpsons
are being held hostage
by a major tech company.
Now, I cannot say
which one, but, um,
follow the Google Doodles.
If, uh, you pause right
where the video glitches,
you can see Homer
doesn't look human.
More like an alien wearing
an ill-fitting human suit.
Let me tell you something,
Homer Simpsons has
done more for this country
than Dr. Fauci and
Dr. Pimple Popper combined.
It's not his fault
he has a trash son
with a face like a
lunch bag, okay?
Leave Homer Simpsons
alone! Leave him alone!
Welcome back to Patty...
And Selma's...
Tingle Palace.
We were going to do part four
of our scalp-delousing
role-play.
But, in light of recent events,
we're going to tell you what
we think happened to our
sister Marge Simpson.
It's pretty obvious
that Homer snapped,
ate the whole family.
And is hiding on a houseboat,
in a cloud of belches
that used to be his wife
and kids.
Hmm... hmm.
What's up, guys? Today we had
a whole cemetery parkour
segment ready to go,
but instead we've got
a big announcement.
The location of the
Simpsons' mansion
has always been super secret,
but we figured out where it is.
We found clues in
all their old videos.
We're talking
regional birdsongs,
town-specific ice
cream truck jingle.
My mom's dating a guy
who got fired from
the post office,
and he gave us their address.
We're heading there
tonight to get some answers.
But first, parkour.
Parkour.
Beloved husband!
Angel-baby!
Jewish guy! Parkour!
Eh...
Huh.
Hey, guys, I'm Shauna.
With a freaking exclusive.
I found the Simpsons mansion.
What the hell, Jimbo? Did
you tell her the address?
Duh. She's
my girlfriend. Hey...
Martin Prince here, now embedded
at the Simpsons family compound.
We're about to
get scooped, dumb-wads.
Hey, guys, Simpsons...
Like and subscribe.
- Hey, guys.
- Hey, guys.
- Hey, guys.
- Hey, guys.
It's a vlog swarm.
No, no, no. This is our content.
Okay, okay.
But turn on that light.
This way, come on.
Ha! Look at this.
They obviously left in a
hurry without their phones.
Shut up. I can't
hear myself Shauna.
- Move out, people, let's go, let's go, let's go.
- Come on, guys, let's go.
Huh?
- Hmm?
- What is this?
I found 'em!
Somebody get a pic!
Bart, the door!
- Grab it!
- Get it!
Welcome, Simpson family.
So, nine days in a
panic room. Why?
Well, Opal, our
house had been built
by a company we partnered
with that, at that point,
had only built NFTs of houses.
They installed the panic
room door backwards.
You could get in,
but you can't get out.
But how did you all
end up trapped there?
Well, we'd been getting ready
for our redemption livestream,
and we were all a little tense.
So I went to the panic
room, where we stored
all of our sponsored crap,
to get some children's
CBD gummies.
But I was already in
there pounding 'em.
Then I ran in
and yelled, "Stop fighting.
"You're going to sweat through
your signature line of
slimming activewear."
But when we tried to leave,
it was locked.
I said, "Nobody panic.
There's got to be
a panic button."
Then I walked in, saying,
"Marge, I can't find
the fridge again."
We tried to grab the door.
But it was too late.
We were trapped, and
it was all Homer's fault.
What? You said it
was nobody's fault.
That's what I'm
supposed to feel,
but I'm not there yet.
We survived on
products we'd been shilling
but had never
actually eaten before.
Luckily, there was
also a huge supply
of single-use hat-toilets.
Uh, I'm pretty sure
those were just hats.
We didn't have any
way to post content,
so we went through
pretty severe withdrawal.
Then, sometime around day four,
I said, "Where's Maggie?
She was just here a second ago."
I moved the table
from the wall and said,
"Oh, God. She
must've crawled in the vent."
I said,
"Maggie, come back."
That I'd never force her
to do content ever again,
that I wouldn't be
#Daddy anymore,
I'd just be Daddy.
And then...
She'd been in the
cabinet the whole time.
We were so relieved.
Then we realized
how high up she was, and then...
But Homer made an awesome catch.
And Maggie barfed on him.
Classic.
After that,
something strange happened.
We started talking
to each other.
Like texting with our mouths.
I'd almost forgotten
I could L-O-L I-R-L.
It felt like we
were coming out of a trance.
The only subscribers we needed
were in that room.
Wow. Just, wow.
We're shutting down
the YouTube channel
because "The Simpson
Family" isn't who we are.
We are the Simpsons.
We are completely offline now.
I don't even check
email anymore,
but that's mainly 'cause we
moved back to Evergreen Terrace,
and our neighborino changed
his Wi-Fi passwordily-durdily.
Well, there you have it.
A confusing, nonsense-word end
to the meteoric rise and fall
and disappearance
and reappearance
and return to status quo
for the family the
Internet could not
get enough of for
almost half a year.
Can we go look at your beehives?
Nah, we're all done here.
Well, that's four hours of
my life I'll never get back.
George R.R. Martin, you
better be working on that new book.
I am.
You said you would
finish it years ago.
I'm gonna.
They already made
two TV shows about it.
I know that. I
went to the parties.
No more parties until
you finish that book.
I'm writing it right now.
I'm... doing research.
Oh.
You did not just stick
your hands in the mint bowl.
Girl, use the spoon,
or I'm gonna have to
kick your
Rooty Tooty Fresh 'N Booty.
Bitch, that is
an IHOP reference.
- This is a Waffle House, mama.
- The Waffle House.
Shh!
Hmm!
Hey, guys.
It's your favorite
YouTube family vloggers:
the Simpsons.
Coinstar bought us a new house,
and we're gonna give
you the grand tour.
Come on in. Take
your shoes off first.
All 50 million of you.
Now, we can't tell you where
the new house is located
because we value our privacy.
Which you know if you watched
our last family therapy sesh
where Marge begged me to
stop filming our therapy seshes.
Video link in bio.
This is my favorite room
because the kitchen is
really the heart of a home.
Also, because a robot cleans it.
And check it out.
The refrigerator
blends into the wall.
No more tedious seeing
your refrigerator all the time.
Come on, we want to
show you our favorite room.
This is our screening room.
It's also where we
shoot our confessionals.
It's cool that Dad doesn't have
to work nine to five anymore.
We just have to
post 15 videos a day.
After homeschooling,
we're free to do fun kid stuff.
Zoom calls with
our fan club in Dubai,
giving Lamborghinis
to the homeless.
Sometimes I just
chill in my room,
recording Cameo messages
until my voice gives out.
Huh.
M'atchomaroon,
or "Hey, guys" in Dothraki.
Today I'm doing a deep-dive
on the Internet's
current obsession,
The Simpsons Family
Channel. Camera 2.
In case you've been living in a
tauntaun these past four months,
here's the video
that started it all:
"Cute Baby Gets Stage
Fright." Let's take a look.
Maggie, remember
what we practiced.
Poke Daddy's tummy
and kill the ants.
Shake your diaper,
touch the starfish,
open your sandwich,
and Mick Jagger, Jagger, Jagger.
No, don't!
Best... origin story... ever.
It deservedly got
20 million views,
and Homer launched a
channel all about the special bond
between himself and
the youngling Maggie.
Say, Maggie,
do you think our viewers
could enter the code "Aw"
Mmm.
The Internet fell in love
with the rest of the Simpsons
when they released...
Whoa, what's going on?
Oh. I love this song.
Hmm.
Hmm.
Greetings, newshounds.
Today, a retrospective on
The Simpsons Family Vlog.
In case you've been living in
a grammar-rodeo boot camp
these past four months,
here's the video
that started it all.
Soon each family member
had their own channel.
Marge combined
her love of cooking
and deeply personal questions
for a groundbreaking
interview show.
How you holding up, Krusty?
Ready for number four?
I'm not gonna lie,
number three feels like
it's not done with me,
but my agent said this is
what talk shows are now,
so... bring it on.
Next up, The Coagulator.
A tuna melt dipped
in funnel cake batter,
then fried in hot mayonnaise.
It clocks in at 300,000
on the Lethargo Scale.
Oh, I'm really regretting
all those bagels
I ate in the greenroom.
The grease and
the powdered sugar
are forming a paste in
the back of my throat.
Do you think your
comedy is fueled by rage
towards your father
or towards yourself?
Well, I'd rather talk about
my new holiday movie,
A Very Merry Bris-mas.
Oh, the batter is in my lungs.
Ow! Why is this a show?!
And Bart took
pranking to a whole new level
with The 'Gurt Squad.
Can I sample the
strawberry yogurt?
Wait, I'm allergic to strawb...
The Simpsons were
YouTube sensations,
and corporate
America lavished them
with sponsorships and lucre.
But Lisa used her newfound fame
to draw attention to
issues close to her heart.
Hey, guys. I'm here
at Needle Beach,
super stoked to
start this clean-up
because, as you can see,
this beach is pretty messed up.
What's that?
Oh! Oh, you poor thing.
Luckily, I always
carry wire cutters.
Attention, Internet.
It is I, Truth Wizard.
The Simpsons are not
who you think they are,
and I can't let
these lies continue
for even one more sec...
and I can't let
these lies continue
for even one more sec...
Milhouse, why
are you sitting in the dark?
You'll ruin your eyes.
Mom.
The doctor said your nose
can't support thicker glasses.
I'm recording a
takedown. Get out.
Okay, fine, it's me, Milhouse.
I was the one filming
every Simpson family video.
Take your shoes off first.
All 50 million of you.
Yo, camera-monkey, shoes off.
I saw firsthand
how the pressure to create content
turned them into monsters.
- Where the hell is the refrigerator?!
- Coming.
You have to tap it.
Oh, who would want this?
- I'm getting a hammer.
- No.
You never let me get the hammer!
Ew, your hand is so sweaty.
Would you tell my scene
partner to be professional?
Uh,
Bart? Lisa has a note...
Shut up, Milhouse.
Ow.
And those cool
'Gurt Squad friends
that hype up
Bart's prank videos?
Paid Spucklers.
Hey, guys, you
don't have to go home
just 'cause we're
done filming pranks.
Yeah, we was meaning
to ask you about that.
How is what you do a prank?
This just seems like a
mean-spirited waste of yogurt.
Okay, we'll use
pudding. Great note.
Hey, you guys want to
jump on my trampoline?
I'll take the safety
barrier down.
We prefer to keep our
relationship professional.
I'll... pay you.
Fine.
Time and a half.
And a basket of eggs.
Our hen is feeling poorly.
Even my
off-again, off-again girlfriend Lisa
fell prey to the siren's
call of Internet fame.
What the hell is this?
This beach is spotless.
Sorry,
Lisa. We're on it.
Now where's this thing
I'm supposed to save?
Uh, Gil, how's it coming?
I-I'm trying. Ow!
This little fella's really
good at freeing himself.
That's
a rented seal. Catch him.
We're gonna lose our deposit.
But let's take a look
at the relationship
that started this
whole crazy ride:
Homer and Maggie.
We are so excited
to work with Maggie
on this viral campaign for
European Nom-cation.
We got Maggie's room all set up
for the ultimate immersive
Nom-Nom experience.
Uh, one little hiccup.
Maggie's terrified of Nom-Noms,
especially the girl one.
I'm not sure why.
Uh, Bart will do it.
The yogurt kid? No way. No.
Either the Internet
baby goes in there,
or you forfeit all
nom-pensation.
So that's, uh,
"nom" -negotiable?
That's not a real word.
Maggie, there's a cute
baby bunny in there,
so put this GoPro
on your head...
Nom-nom-nom-nom-nom-nom-nom-nom.
Nom-nom-nom-nom-nom-nom-
nom-nom-nom-nom-nom-nom...
Oh...
Maggie, I'm sorry.
Poor Maggie. Although
I like the girl Nom-Nom.
I like her a lot.
I like the way her glasses
have eyelashes and...
Milhouse,
come do your ear drops.
Mom!
Hey, guys.
Welcome to episode 751 of
The Lenny and Carl Situation.
Back with us is our
frequent guest Moe.
You gonna behave today, Moe?
Hey, don't cancel me, huh?
Today we're talking
about the Simpson family,
specifically "Super Dad"
himself, Homer Simpson.
Guy's a phony.
You go back five, six months,
we were best
friends with the guy
before he got famous
for those baby videos.
Yeah, so many nights getting
blackout drunk with Homer.
I don't remember him
mentioning that baby once.
And I heard Maggie won't
make any more videos with him.
What people been seeing
is all high-tech trickery.
Intern Barney, play the clip.
Mmm.
Oh, even fake Maggies hate me.
You know, I'm thinking about
going on the all-peanut
diet. You heard about this?
Supposed to be
great for the adrenals.
You know, the Aztecs,
that's all they ate was peanuts.
Not like the crap we got today.
Them ancient nuts, they
was full of that, uh, uh,
niacinnamonites. Yeah.
'Cause of the sand they had.
And they lived to be a
hundred, 200 years old.
Same
thing with the Mayans and cashews...
Uh-uh.
Hey, guys.
We know there have been
a lot of rumors going around.
So we wanted to
formally announce
that we'll be making a
formal announcement
tomorrow night on our livestream
which will address all
the recent controversies.
And we'll Cluck-Stop at
nothing to earn your trust back.
That was nine days ago.
Nobody has seen or heard
from the Simpsons family since.
Over the next two hours, I
will break down my theories
on what might have caused
their dramatic disappearance
on this special edition of...
That's your cue. This
special edition of...
Frinkileaks.
Now play the suspenseful music.
No, that's a latte macchiato.
Well, you might as well
finish my coffee now.
Which brings us once
again to Snowball I,
which...
Marker fumes. Oh, my.
Hoyvik! Blarvlagin! Ivy.
I apologize.
Um... in summary, I have
concluded that the Simpsons
are being held hostage
by a major tech company.
Now, I cannot say
which one, but, um,
follow the Google Doodles.
If, uh, you pause right
where the video glitches,
you can see Homer
doesn't look human.
More like an alien wearing
an ill-fitting human suit.
Let me tell you something,
Homer Simpsons has
done more for this country
than Dr. Fauci and
Dr. Pimple Popper combined.
It's not his fault
he has a trash son
with a face like a
lunch bag, okay?
Leave Homer Simpsons
alone! Leave him alone!
Welcome back to Patty...
And Selma's...
Tingle Palace.
We were going to do part four
of our scalp-delousing
role-play.
But, in light of recent events,
we're going to tell you what
we think happened to our
sister Marge Simpson.
It's pretty obvious
that Homer snapped,
ate the whole family.
And is hiding on a houseboat,
in a cloud of belches
that used to be his wife
and kids.
Hmm... hmm.
What's up, guys? Today we had
a whole cemetery parkour
segment ready to go,
but instead we've got
a big announcement.
The location of the
Simpsons' mansion
has always been super secret,
but we figured out where it is.
We found clues in
all their old videos.
We're talking
regional birdsongs,
town-specific ice
cream truck jingle.
My mom's dating a guy
who got fired from
the post office,
and he gave us their address.
We're heading there
tonight to get some answers.
But first, parkour.
Parkour.
Beloved husband!
Angel-baby!
Jewish guy! Parkour!
Eh...
Huh.
Hey, guys, I'm Shauna.
With a freaking exclusive.
I found the Simpsons mansion.
What the hell, Jimbo? Did
you tell her the address?
Duh. She's
my girlfriend. Hey...
Martin Prince here, now embedded
at the Simpsons family compound.
We're about to
get scooped, dumb-wads.
Hey, guys, Simpsons...
Like and subscribe.
- Hey, guys.
- Hey, guys.
- Hey, guys.
- Hey, guys.
It's a vlog swarm.
No, no, no. This is our content.
Okay, okay.
But turn on that light.
This way, come on.
Ha! Look at this.
They obviously left in a
hurry without their phones.
Shut up. I can't
hear myself Shauna.
- Move out, people, let's go, let's go, let's go.
- Come on, guys, let's go.
Huh?
- Hmm?
- What is this?
I found 'em!
Somebody get a pic!
Bart, the door!
- Grab it!
- Get it!
Welcome, Simpson family.
So, nine days in a
panic room. Why?
Well, Opal, our
house had been built
by a company we partnered
with that, at that point,
had only built NFTs of houses.
They installed the panic
room door backwards.
You could get in,
but you can't get out.
But how did you all
end up trapped there?
Well, we'd been getting ready
for our redemption livestream,
and we were all a little tense.
So I went to the panic
room, where we stored
all of our sponsored crap,
to get some children's
CBD gummies.
But I was already in
there pounding 'em.
Then I ran in
and yelled, "Stop fighting.
"You're going to sweat through
your signature line of
slimming activewear."
But when we tried to leave,
it was locked.
I said, "Nobody panic.
There's got to be
a panic button."
Then I walked in, saying,
"Marge, I can't find
the fridge again."
We tried to grab the door.
But it was too late.
We were trapped, and
it was all Homer's fault.
What? You said it
was nobody's fault.
That's what I'm
supposed to feel,
but I'm not there yet.
We survived on
products we'd been shilling
but had never
actually eaten before.
Luckily, there was
also a huge supply
of single-use hat-toilets.
Uh, I'm pretty sure
those were just hats.
We didn't have any
way to post content,
so we went through
pretty severe withdrawal.
Then, sometime around day four,
I said, "Where's Maggie?
She was just here a second ago."
I moved the table
from the wall and said,
"Oh, God. She
must've crawled in the vent."
I said,
"Maggie, come back."
That I'd never force her
to do content ever again,
that I wouldn't be
#Daddy anymore,
I'd just be Daddy.
And then...
She'd been in the
cabinet the whole time.
We were so relieved.
Then we realized
how high up she was, and then...
But Homer made an awesome catch.
And Maggie barfed on him.
Classic.
After that,
something strange happened.
We started talking
to each other.
Like texting with our mouths.
I'd almost forgotten
I could L-O-L I-R-L.
It felt like we
were coming out of a trance.
The only subscribers we needed
were in that room.
Wow. Just, wow.
We're shutting down
the YouTube channel
because "The Simpson
Family" isn't who we are.
We are the Simpsons.
We are completely offline now.
I don't even check
email anymore,
but that's mainly 'cause we
moved back to Evergreen Terrace,
and our neighborino changed
his Wi-Fi passwordily-durdily.
Well, there you have it.
A confusing, nonsense-word end
to the meteoric rise and fall
and disappearance
and reappearance
and return to status quo
for the family the
Internet could not
get enough of for
almost half a year.
Can we go look at your beehives?
Nah, we're all done here.
Well, that's four hours of
my life I'll never get back.
George R.R. Martin, you
better be working on that new book.
I am.
You said you would
finish it years ago.
I'm gonna.
They already made
two TV shows about it.
I know that. I
went to the parties.
No more parties until
you finish that book.
I'm writing it right now.
I'm... doing research.
Oh.
You did not just stick
your hands in the mint bowl.
Girl, use the spoon,
or I'm gonna have to
kick your
Rooty Tooty Fresh 'N Booty.
Bitch, that is
an IHOP reference.
- This is a Waffle House, mama.
- The Waffle House.
Shh!