The Simpsons (1989–…): Season 33, Episode 20 - Marge the Meanie - full transcript
Marge bonds with Bart when she discovers a secret from her past, terrifying Homer.
Hmm? Mm.
- Don't pick it.
- D'oh!
♪ ♪
498...
499...
It's time.
♪ ♪
It's time.
I'm sorry. We're going
to have to pull the plug.
It's time.
See ya later, vegitaters. Ha-ha!
All ears on me!
For 37 years, we've
played shuffleboard
against our crosstown rivals.
The Golden Exits
Retirement Farm.
Those rich snobs think
they're better than us,
with their yoga classes,
and their aquacise,
and their name-brand applesauce.
But today we show them
what we can do!
Cloudy eyes! Functioning hearts!
Can't lose!
Aw, they want something.
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
No fair. The other
team's got a ringer.
♪ Owner of an '80s car ♪
♪ 200,000 miles ♪
♪ Owner of an '80s car ♪
♪ Got it for graduation. ♪
Mm.
♪ ♪
We win!
Yet somehow I feel guilty.
That woman won't
stop staring at me.
I'm not surprised, Marge.
You are a senior home ten.
Do I... know you?
Margie the Meanie?
You've caused me enough trouble!
No! Oh...
Mom, what don't
we know about you?
Marge Bouvier,
you ruined my life!
I never want to see you again!
That is my old principal.
Mom, she's treating you like
you were a bad kid in school.
But that's impossible.
Unless...
Well, I... not really.
You were a bad kid in school!
High five. And now
you're trying to lie about it!
We're the same!
We're the same! We're
the same! We're the same!
Oh, I finally have a
parent I am proud of.
Aw.
Marge.
You must've run
into Principal York.
You made her life a living hell.
It started
in middle school.
Middle school.
That's when we were
sopranos in the choir.
Ah! Still got it.
In seventh grade,
I had to switch schools.
♪ ♪
We wear top and bottom eyeliner.
Check out this tattoo.
Is that press-on?
Henna.
They were so nasty to me.
Ah!
And then one day,
against a checked-out principal,
you won them over.
The mean girls are
picking on me again.
Well, what do you
expect me to do,
start some kind of
anti-bullying policy?
Also no standing during lunch.
I'll do a lot better with
the next person I hire.
He'll be a win-ner!
The new girl did that.
It was cool.
Cool girl! Cool girl!
I am a cool girl.
Don't check with my old school.
You pranked the principal?
I embarrassed her,
but I shouldn't have.
But that didn't stop
you from doing it again.
Oh, my God! We
saw the principal's bra.
We've entered...
...puberty!
And again.
It's not
even grammatical.
Oh, my God, Mom,
you're not perfect.
You're so not perfect.
Bart, I'm not...
This is the first hug where
you've ever hugged me back.
Hug you back? I
started the damn hug.
Language, but aw...
Two customers in
the shop at once.
Call the fire marshal.
I want to buy a Batman.
Um, not so fast. Which era?
Which artist? Dark
Knight or Adam West?
Sometimes I regret
not finishing medical school.
I was one credit away. One.
I want the one where
Batman eats lasagna.
That is Garfield, who
is not a bat, but a cat.
How can someone with
such a big head be so stupid?
That is so cruel, picking
on that poor Wiggum boy.
Someone should
teach him a lesson.
Someone who's not afraid
to be a hero to her son.
Do it, Marge. Prank that guy.
Superman?
Uh, for legal reasons, you
can call me Uber Hombre.
Once again the lack
of clear copyright
in my country has screwed me.
My copyright expired.
Would you like to be
the Scarlet Pimpernel?
No, thank you.
Maybe something should be done.
Aw.
Why, look, if it
isn't Lex Loser.
Ha. Stop working
the package to see
what the middle comic
is in the three-pack.
Take your chances like a man.
But I want to see if the
middle one is valuable.
The middle comic
is never valuable.
It's there to take up space
like lettuce on a hamburger,
a seat filler at the Emmys,
or you.
♪ ♪
Uh, excuse me, Mr. Guy?
I have more money
than you've ever seen
in this store.
Yes, sir, and may I
offer you a snack?
You serve snacks?
For valued customers, yes.
Have a mint, or if you prefer,
a near mint.
Could I interest you
in this very emotional
Spider-Man, in which
Peter Parker confronts and
forgives the spider who bit him?
A comic book's arch enemy!
Cola! No!
Oh, God! Oh!
Oh, God! Ah!
To quote the immortal Shaggy:
"Zoinks!"
What's so funny?
Mom and I...
...did a prank together.
Shh! Sweetie.
Whoa, wait a minute.
So Bart gets his wild side
from his mother?
That makes no sense.
Boys get stuff from their dads,
like their favorite baseball
team, mental disorders,
and the lame joke
they tell every waiter.
Say, Maggie?
Why don't you get this one?
Ha-ha-ha.
Imagine, a baby paying a check.
Well, maybe Bart's
pranking allele
is on the maternal chromosome.
The only part
of that I understood
was "allele."
I'm talking Mendelian genetics.
Young lady, we do not
discuss that at the dinner table.
Now pass the peas.
Hmm. How come
one quarter are yellow?
So Bart's not like me,
Lisa's not like me.
There will be no evidence
I was ever on this earth.
Wait, wait. Maybe Maggie.
How many times I
got to tell you, Homer?
No outside peas.
It's just that I realized the
kids totally take after Marge.
- Nothing from me.
- Come on, Homer.
There's got to be something
you passed on to your kids.
That adorable way you pout?
Uh, the way you can burp-sing
the national anthem?
Great chiming in today, guys.
- Oh, thanks for noticing.
- Appreciate it.
There is something we
have in common, Dad.
That we're both
made out of beer?
No, something deeper. Profound.
Dark beer?
You'll have to
figure it out yourself.
Oh, I hate when
foam makes me think.
Hey, you guys have
forgotten one thing.
Lisa Simpson.
She is 100% scientific proof
that I exist.
To Lisa "What's Her
Middle Name" Simpson.
Daddy's little girl.
No clinking? What's wrong?
Yeah, well, truth be told,
uh, none of us was positive
Lisa was really your kid.
She's smart as a whip.
- Wha...?
- She can control her temper.
Why, you...!
You look exactly like her
if she was a big, fat,
bald guy, which she's not.
In the least.
For your information,
I'm gonna find a wonderful bond
between myself
and my little girl.
And you childless loners
are gonna be so jealous.
You losers will never have this!
Losers!
Oh, right, Maggie's in the car.
Shut the damn door!
Marge, I see you're buying
Slaughterhouse
Sweepins brand hot dogs.
It must be so easy to shop
when anything's good enough
for your family.
Eh? Eh?
No. No more pranking.
Now we've got to buy
food before the prices go up.
Timothy and I prefer
Opera House Franks.
Maybe you've seen
their commercials?
Oh, wait, they're
only advertised
on premium cable
channels.
♪ ♪
I need a price check on a pack
of Gassy Granny Underwear.
That's not mine.
How did it get in my cart?
I also need a price check
on a gallon of Sober
by Six Day Drinker's Gin,
Lady Stinkfoot Insoles,
The Marvelous Mrs.
Miser's Week-Old Bread,
Barely Helpful Herpes Ointment,
FEMA Brand
Emergency Toilet Paper...
and Garbage Mouth Bad
Breath Neutralizing Suppositories.
♪ ♪
Vegetarians like food?
Is that pulled pork
dripping with cheese?
Uh, yes, except
instead of cheese,
I'm using cashew paste
with nutritional yeast
and for pork, I'm
substituting jackfruit.
No pork?
Jackfruit is vegan, abundant,
and no plucking,
so it's cruelty-free.
Try some.
Hmm, not bad, not bad.
This is it-- food is our thing.
Well, if you like jackfruit,
I know a place you will love.
Mmm.
It's probably not
what you're thinking.
D'oh!
Please give me the best
kombucha you have on tap,
and a bottle of your
finest liquid aminos.
You got it. Namaste.
Mmm. Jicama sticks.
Dad, do you like this food?
Oh, sweetie, I love this meal.
I hated that meal.
Oh, thank God I keep
an emergency sausage
beside the bed.
Ew, what is this?
It's a ground-up kickball.
I pranked you.
Why, you little...!
Ow!
Ow! Ow! Ooh! See, Marge?
That's why we shouldn't
have books in the house.
Do you think I like
doing this pranking?
When I'm done
laughing, I hate myself.
I'm behaving like a little brat
and it's made me
a better mother.
But pranking isn't
like you, it's like me.
We can't have two
of me in this marriage.
One of me is
enough for three of us.
But I can't stop, 'cause I've
never been closer to Bart.
I've waited for a connection
like this for so long.
Longer than the
new Avatar movie.
It's coming, Marge.
You've got to have faith.
You sound like James
Cameron, Homer.
What if we never
see Pandora again?
The real unobtanium
is the sequel.
Have faith, have faith.
Oh, sorry. No one's
allowed in the store
while Mr. Burns shops
for the right chewing gum.
Are you for real?
I am. He doesn't want to, quote,
"Catch your poverty."
Double mint?
A little too strong
for my liking.
My baby has a rash!
And it makes her
a wiggle monster.
Babies. When will you learn
that old people are our future?
Please!
Sorry, I have a
medical condition
where I don't give a damn.
♪ ♪
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
He'll just fall
into that soft grass over there.
Ah! Ow! Oh!
Oh, my God, Bart.
We went too far.
You mean you went too far.
We've never been closer!
Marge, you're incredibly
lucky Mr. Burns is okay.
It taught me a lesson, Smithers.
- Life could end at any moment.
- Mm-hmm.
So we have to jam as much evil
as possible into
each remaining day.
What are you looking at?
Marge, I don't understand.
What made you
attack that hateful,
nasty, hateful old man?
Um, I was taught that a lady
should never express
or experience emotions.
And I don't, except
every couple of decades
I snap. Otherwise
I'm just simmering,
simmering, simmering, simmering,
- simmering, simmering...
- You must have been such a good little girl.
I don't want to
talk anymore today.
Well, it's up to you. We can
do this over 20 costly years,
or you can have your
breakthrough now.
Oh, people can have
instant breakthroughs?
Not people with good insurance,
but yours is lousy.
Oh, my God!
It's okay. It's okay.
Therapists almost
never give useful advice,
but here's what you do:
just find your old principal,
make your peace,
and you'll feel better.
Are you sure?
As sure as I am I really
don't want to see you again.
Bart, I-I'm sorry.
Pranking is selfish and unkind.
Even if it's
hilarious. I'm done.
Mom, no!
I don't know who I
am without pranking.
It's in our blood.
Like when you had me,
that was a total prank on Dad.
If you give it up,
you're giving me up!
♪ ♪
Okay, fine.
I think I have one
more prank left in me.
And it's gonna be a real doozy.
I love the way you say
cool things in lame ways.
Mm.
This is great. So great.
I would kill the Easter Bunny
for one meatball.
- Now, we shred in some kale.
- Oh, no.
- And Brussels sprouts,
tofu, -You're killing me.
- bell peppers, mushrooms,
- I'm gagging! Oh!
- broccolini, artichokes.
- Don't say-- oh!
- Want some blueberries?
- Ew! Yuck!
Ooh, sunflower seeds.
You know, if a bag of
pig knuckles fell in there,
it wouldn't be the
end of the world.
Dad, I love you, but
I don't want to do this
if you're gonna... Homer it up.
My name is a verb,
meaning "to ruin"?
- That is pretty Homer-ed up.
- I'm sorry.
Just try a sip.
What do you think?
Soggy
and underseasoned.
I'm sorry. I hate this.
I have no similarities
with any of my offspring.
My tongue
is swelling, too!
Hey! Look at us! Our
throats are closing as one.
Aw. Want to share an ambulance?
Yes.
It turns out you two have
many common allergies, including
allspice, dust, feathers, fur,
the stuff in peanut
butter that isn't peanuts,
also peanuts, animal
dander, Irish Spring--
the season and the soap--
and the smell of honeysuckle
on a dark Georgia night.
What's wrong, Dad?
You're such a great kid.
Sorry I passed down
all those bad parts.
Dad, you passed down the
most important part of yourself.
Your kind heart.
I'm afraid
I'm allergic to treacle.
I'm here to apologize.
Let me guess,
there's bees inside.
Please, I just want you
to know I'm a good person.
I really am.
Just sniff the
flowers, you'll see.
Oh! Meanie!
We got you!
I've always hated children.
¡Ay, caramba!
You're going to juvie
and you're going
to women's prison.
And the victim is
gonna be buried
with deceased members
of the Blue Man Group,
which there are way
more than you'd think.
All died
in hilarious ways.
Oh, my God, oh, my
God! Please be alive.
I'll never prank again. Never!
We got ya!
Uh-oh, Lou. We have got
a zombie situation here.
Aim for the brain.
It's the only way.
Just teaching a
lesson to my son.
She was never dead.
She's a zombie lover, Lou!
Aim for both their
heads. It's the only way.
They're not zombies, Chief.
And neither were the Wilsons.
Uh, don't mention the Wilsons.
So, Mom, you taught me
the dangers of pranking
while pulling an awesome prank.
Lesson learned.
Have some peanut brittle.
Mm-hmm, no snakes?
I took out the snakes and
actually put in peanut brittle.
That's how much I respect you.
Hmm.
Well, you know I love
you and I always will.
But enough with the pranking.
Enough with the pranking.
"Dear Agnes, I'm so sorry
"I put laxatives
in your dog's food.
"Then secretly filmed it.
"Then sent it to America's
Worst Carpet Disasters.
"Then I won. And used the
prize money to buy more laxatives.
Sincerely, Marge."
Another one done.
Well, that's the A's.
"Dear Bernice..."
Captioning sponsored by 20th
CENTURY FOX TELEVISION
FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY
And FORD. We go
further, so you can.
Shh!
- Don't pick it.
- D'oh!
♪ ♪
498...
499...
It's time.
♪ ♪
It's time.
I'm sorry. We're going
to have to pull the plug.
It's time.
See ya later, vegitaters. Ha-ha!
All ears on me!
For 37 years, we've
played shuffleboard
against our crosstown rivals.
The Golden Exits
Retirement Farm.
Those rich snobs think
they're better than us,
with their yoga classes,
and their aquacise,
and their name-brand applesauce.
But today we show them
what we can do!
Cloudy eyes! Functioning hearts!
Can't lose!
Aw, they want something.
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
No fair. The other
team's got a ringer.
♪ Owner of an '80s car ♪
♪ 200,000 miles ♪
♪ Owner of an '80s car ♪
♪ Got it for graduation. ♪
Mm.
♪ ♪
We win!
Yet somehow I feel guilty.
That woman won't
stop staring at me.
I'm not surprised, Marge.
You are a senior home ten.
Do I... know you?
Margie the Meanie?
You've caused me enough trouble!
No! Oh...
Mom, what don't
we know about you?
Marge Bouvier,
you ruined my life!
I never want to see you again!
That is my old principal.
Mom, she's treating you like
you were a bad kid in school.
But that's impossible.
Unless...
Well, I... not really.
You were a bad kid in school!
High five. And now
you're trying to lie about it!
We're the same!
We're the same! We're
the same! We're the same!
Oh, I finally have a
parent I am proud of.
Aw.
Marge.
You must've run
into Principal York.
You made her life a living hell.
It started
in middle school.
Middle school.
That's when we were
sopranos in the choir.
Ah! Still got it.
In seventh grade,
I had to switch schools.
♪ ♪
We wear top and bottom eyeliner.
Check out this tattoo.
Is that press-on?
Henna.
They were so nasty to me.
Ah!
And then one day,
against a checked-out principal,
you won them over.
The mean girls are
picking on me again.
Well, what do you
expect me to do,
start some kind of
anti-bullying policy?
Also no standing during lunch.
I'll do a lot better with
the next person I hire.
He'll be a win-ner!
The new girl did that.
It was cool.
Cool girl! Cool girl!
I am a cool girl.
Don't check with my old school.
You pranked the principal?
I embarrassed her,
but I shouldn't have.
But that didn't stop
you from doing it again.
Oh, my God! We
saw the principal's bra.
We've entered...
...puberty!
And again.
It's not
even grammatical.
Oh, my God, Mom,
you're not perfect.
You're so not perfect.
Bart, I'm not...
This is the first hug where
you've ever hugged me back.
Hug you back? I
started the damn hug.
Language, but aw...
Two customers in
the shop at once.
Call the fire marshal.
I want to buy a Batman.
Um, not so fast. Which era?
Which artist? Dark
Knight or Adam West?
Sometimes I regret
not finishing medical school.
I was one credit away. One.
I want the one where
Batman eats lasagna.
That is Garfield, who
is not a bat, but a cat.
How can someone with
such a big head be so stupid?
That is so cruel, picking
on that poor Wiggum boy.
Someone should
teach him a lesson.
Someone who's not afraid
to be a hero to her son.
Do it, Marge. Prank that guy.
Superman?
Uh, for legal reasons, you
can call me Uber Hombre.
Once again the lack
of clear copyright
in my country has screwed me.
My copyright expired.
Would you like to be
the Scarlet Pimpernel?
No, thank you.
Maybe something should be done.
Aw.
Why, look, if it
isn't Lex Loser.
Ha. Stop working
the package to see
what the middle comic
is in the three-pack.
Take your chances like a man.
But I want to see if the
middle one is valuable.
The middle comic
is never valuable.
It's there to take up space
like lettuce on a hamburger,
a seat filler at the Emmys,
or you.
♪ ♪
Uh, excuse me, Mr. Guy?
I have more money
than you've ever seen
in this store.
Yes, sir, and may I
offer you a snack?
You serve snacks?
For valued customers, yes.
Have a mint, or if you prefer,
a near mint.
Could I interest you
in this very emotional
Spider-Man, in which
Peter Parker confronts and
forgives the spider who bit him?
A comic book's arch enemy!
Cola! No!
Oh, God! Oh!
Oh, God! Ah!
To quote the immortal Shaggy:
"Zoinks!"
What's so funny?
Mom and I...
...did a prank together.
Shh! Sweetie.
Whoa, wait a minute.
So Bart gets his wild side
from his mother?
That makes no sense.
Boys get stuff from their dads,
like their favorite baseball
team, mental disorders,
and the lame joke
they tell every waiter.
Say, Maggie?
Why don't you get this one?
Ha-ha-ha.
Imagine, a baby paying a check.
Well, maybe Bart's
pranking allele
is on the maternal chromosome.
The only part
of that I understood
was "allele."
I'm talking Mendelian genetics.
Young lady, we do not
discuss that at the dinner table.
Now pass the peas.
Hmm. How come
one quarter are yellow?
So Bart's not like me,
Lisa's not like me.
There will be no evidence
I was ever on this earth.
Wait, wait. Maybe Maggie.
How many times I
got to tell you, Homer?
No outside peas.
It's just that I realized the
kids totally take after Marge.
- Nothing from me.
- Come on, Homer.
There's got to be something
you passed on to your kids.
That adorable way you pout?
Uh, the way you can burp-sing
the national anthem?
Great chiming in today, guys.
- Oh, thanks for noticing.
- Appreciate it.
There is something we
have in common, Dad.
That we're both
made out of beer?
No, something deeper. Profound.
Dark beer?
You'll have to
figure it out yourself.
Oh, I hate when
foam makes me think.
Hey, you guys have
forgotten one thing.
Lisa Simpson.
She is 100% scientific proof
that I exist.
To Lisa "What's Her
Middle Name" Simpson.
Daddy's little girl.
No clinking? What's wrong?
Yeah, well, truth be told,
uh, none of us was positive
Lisa was really your kid.
She's smart as a whip.
- Wha...?
- She can control her temper.
Why, you...!
You look exactly like her
if she was a big, fat,
bald guy, which she's not.
In the least.
For your information,
I'm gonna find a wonderful bond
between myself
and my little girl.
And you childless loners
are gonna be so jealous.
You losers will never have this!
Losers!
Oh, right, Maggie's in the car.
Shut the damn door!
Marge, I see you're buying
Slaughterhouse
Sweepins brand hot dogs.
It must be so easy to shop
when anything's good enough
for your family.
Eh? Eh?
No. No more pranking.
Now we've got to buy
food before the prices go up.
Timothy and I prefer
Opera House Franks.
Maybe you've seen
their commercials?
Oh, wait, they're
only advertised
on premium cable
channels.
♪ ♪
I need a price check on a pack
of Gassy Granny Underwear.
That's not mine.
How did it get in my cart?
I also need a price check
on a gallon of Sober
by Six Day Drinker's Gin,
Lady Stinkfoot Insoles,
The Marvelous Mrs.
Miser's Week-Old Bread,
Barely Helpful Herpes Ointment,
FEMA Brand
Emergency Toilet Paper...
and Garbage Mouth Bad
Breath Neutralizing Suppositories.
♪ ♪
Vegetarians like food?
Is that pulled pork
dripping with cheese?
Uh, yes, except
instead of cheese,
I'm using cashew paste
with nutritional yeast
and for pork, I'm
substituting jackfruit.
No pork?
Jackfruit is vegan, abundant,
and no plucking,
so it's cruelty-free.
Try some.
Hmm, not bad, not bad.
This is it-- food is our thing.
Well, if you like jackfruit,
I know a place you will love.
Mmm.
It's probably not
what you're thinking.
D'oh!
Please give me the best
kombucha you have on tap,
and a bottle of your
finest liquid aminos.
You got it. Namaste.
Mmm. Jicama sticks.
Dad, do you like this food?
Oh, sweetie, I love this meal.
I hated that meal.
Oh, thank God I keep
an emergency sausage
beside the bed.
Ew, what is this?
It's a ground-up kickball.
I pranked you.
Why, you little...!
Ow!
Ow! Ow! Ooh! See, Marge?
That's why we shouldn't
have books in the house.
Do you think I like
doing this pranking?
When I'm done
laughing, I hate myself.
I'm behaving like a little brat
and it's made me
a better mother.
But pranking isn't
like you, it's like me.
We can't have two
of me in this marriage.
One of me is
enough for three of us.
But I can't stop, 'cause I've
never been closer to Bart.
I've waited for a connection
like this for so long.
Longer than the
new Avatar movie.
It's coming, Marge.
You've got to have faith.
You sound like James
Cameron, Homer.
What if we never
see Pandora again?
The real unobtanium
is the sequel.
Have faith, have faith.
Oh, sorry. No one's
allowed in the store
while Mr. Burns shops
for the right chewing gum.
Are you for real?
I am. He doesn't want to, quote,
"Catch your poverty."
Double mint?
A little too strong
for my liking.
My baby has a rash!
And it makes her
a wiggle monster.
Babies. When will you learn
that old people are our future?
Please!
Sorry, I have a
medical condition
where I don't give a damn.
♪ ♪
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
He'll just fall
into that soft grass over there.
Ah! Ow! Oh!
Oh, my God, Bart.
We went too far.
You mean you went too far.
We've never been closer!
Marge, you're incredibly
lucky Mr. Burns is okay.
It taught me a lesson, Smithers.
- Life could end at any moment.
- Mm-hmm.
So we have to jam as much evil
as possible into
each remaining day.
What are you looking at?
Marge, I don't understand.
What made you
attack that hateful,
nasty, hateful old man?
Um, I was taught that a lady
should never express
or experience emotions.
And I don't, except
every couple of decades
I snap. Otherwise
I'm just simmering,
simmering, simmering, simmering,
- simmering, simmering...
- You must have been such a good little girl.
I don't want to
talk anymore today.
Well, it's up to you. We can
do this over 20 costly years,
or you can have your
breakthrough now.
Oh, people can have
instant breakthroughs?
Not people with good insurance,
but yours is lousy.
Oh, my God!
It's okay. It's okay.
Therapists almost
never give useful advice,
but here's what you do:
just find your old principal,
make your peace,
and you'll feel better.
Are you sure?
As sure as I am I really
don't want to see you again.
Bart, I-I'm sorry.
Pranking is selfish and unkind.
Even if it's
hilarious. I'm done.
Mom, no!
I don't know who I
am without pranking.
It's in our blood.
Like when you had me,
that was a total prank on Dad.
If you give it up,
you're giving me up!
♪ ♪
Okay, fine.
I think I have one
more prank left in me.
And it's gonna be a real doozy.
I love the way you say
cool things in lame ways.
Mm.
This is great. So great.
I would kill the Easter Bunny
for one meatball.
- Now, we shred in some kale.
- Oh, no.
- And Brussels sprouts,
tofu, -You're killing me.
- bell peppers, mushrooms,
- I'm gagging! Oh!
- broccolini, artichokes.
- Don't say-- oh!
- Want some blueberries?
- Ew! Yuck!
Ooh, sunflower seeds.
You know, if a bag of
pig knuckles fell in there,
it wouldn't be the
end of the world.
Dad, I love you, but
I don't want to do this
if you're gonna... Homer it up.
My name is a verb,
meaning "to ruin"?
- That is pretty Homer-ed up.
- I'm sorry.
Just try a sip.
What do you think?
Soggy
and underseasoned.
I'm sorry. I hate this.
I have no similarities
with any of my offspring.
My tongue
is swelling, too!
Hey! Look at us! Our
throats are closing as one.
Aw. Want to share an ambulance?
Yes.
It turns out you two have
many common allergies, including
allspice, dust, feathers, fur,
the stuff in peanut
butter that isn't peanuts,
also peanuts, animal
dander, Irish Spring--
the season and the soap--
and the smell of honeysuckle
on a dark Georgia night.
What's wrong, Dad?
You're such a great kid.
Sorry I passed down
all those bad parts.
Dad, you passed down the
most important part of yourself.
Your kind heart.
I'm afraid
I'm allergic to treacle.
I'm here to apologize.
Let me guess,
there's bees inside.
Please, I just want you
to know I'm a good person.
I really am.
Just sniff the
flowers, you'll see.
Oh! Meanie!
We got you!
I've always hated children.
¡Ay, caramba!
You're going to juvie
and you're going
to women's prison.
And the victim is
gonna be buried
with deceased members
of the Blue Man Group,
which there are way
more than you'd think.
All died
in hilarious ways.
Oh, my God, oh, my
God! Please be alive.
I'll never prank again. Never!
We got ya!
Uh-oh, Lou. We have got
a zombie situation here.
Aim for the brain.
It's the only way.
Just teaching a
lesson to my son.
She was never dead.
She's a zombie lover, Lou!
Aim for both their
heads. It's the only way.
They're not zombies, Chief.
And neither were the Wilsons.
Uh, don't mention the Wilsons.
So, Mom, you taught me
the dangers of pranking
while pulling an awesome prank.
Lesson learned.
Have some peanut brittle.
Mm-hmm, no snakes?
I took out the snakes and
actually put in peanut brittle.
That's how much I respect you.
Hmm.
Well, you know I love
you and I always will.
But enough with the pranking.
Enough with the pranking.
"Dear Agnes, I'm so sorry
"I put laxatives
in your dog's food.
"Then secretly filmed it.
"Then sent it to America's
Worst Carpet Disasters.
"Then I won. And used the
prize money to buy more laxatives.
Sincerely, Marge."
Another one done.
Well, that's the A's.
"Dear Bernice..."
Captioning sponsored by 20th
CENTURY FOX TELEVISION
FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY
And FORD. We go
further, so you can.
Shh!