The Simpsons (1989–…): Season 3, Episode 11 - Burns Verkaufen der Kraftwerk - full transcript
Burns decides to retire and sells the power plant to a German consortium for an exorbitant price. Homer's laziness and inefficiency are quickly exposed by his new bosses, and he is laid off.
## The Simpsons ##
D'oh!
It's formulated to rinse clean
with no oily deposits.
Hot dog.
And mild enough to use daily.
Isn't life grand?
What's wrong, sir?
Did I get some in your eyes?
The shampoo specifically said,
''No more tears.''
A lovely promise...
but one beyond the powers
of a mere shampoo.
There's something
you're not telling me.
Perhaps you'd talk to
Snappy the alligator?
Maybe.
Hello, Mr. Burns.
Snappy, it's hard to imagine...
but I was once a barefoot boy
with cheek of tan.
I dreamed of grand slam home runs...
and wiping out nations
with the stroke of a pen.
There's still time for that.
Is there?
Controlled nuclear fission
is a demanding mistress.
So you feel resentful
towards the plant.
Yes, exactly!
You know, maybe it's time
I sold the old girl.
Mmm!... Hmm?!
D'oh!
Ohh, what do they want?
Maybe a nap will boost my spirits.
I'll get that whale song
cassette you like, sir.
Oh, it's not fair!
I know how you feel, Simpson.
I've never seen Mr. Burns
so depressed.
People think because he's
rich and powerful and cruel...
he doesn't have feelings,
but he does.
I bet he wouldn't sell
the plant for $1 00 million.
Ooh, that's a lot of money.
D'oh!
Uh... Mr. Smithers...
do you have change for a dollar?
Good, good--
try to eat something.
Homer Simpson here.
It's your stockbroker.
Your stock in the plant...
just went up for the first time
in ten years.
I own stock?
All employees got some...
in exchange for waiving
certain constitutional rights.
So, how much did it go up?
The book says to make small talk...
before getting down to business.
- Everybody alive?
- Yeah.
- Like any sports?
- Sure.
- Ever go dancing?
- Not anymore.
- We should get together sometime.
- That'd be great.
There.
Now we trust each other.
Well, how are you?
Near death!
I renew my notary license
on a weekly basis.
So what's my stock up to?
Let me punch that up
on the computer.
Uh... 25? a share.
What should I do?
Let me put it this way--
you'll get $25 if you sell now.
Sell! Sell! Sell!
Whoo-hoo!
Twenty-five dollars!
Ooh!
Mmm... hot wax.
Oh, hammer.
##...Fight, fight, fight
fight, fight, fight ##
# The Itchy & Scratchy Show #
Mmm.
Bart, turn to
the Financial Channel.
Aunt Patty says our stock
is skyrocketing.
Unconfirmed takeover rumors...
have pushed Burns Worldwide
from 1 /8 to 52 and a quarter.
Your father's stock
is worth $5,200!
Wow! 5,200 smackers!
Oooh!
Ahhh...
Hey, Homer.
Want a Duff?
No, I'd like a bottle...
of Henry K. Duff's
Private Reserve.
Are you sure?
'Cause once I open the bottle,
there's no refund.
For your information...
I just made a cool $25
playing the market.
Buy low, sell high--
that's my motto.
I may quit my job
at the power plant...
and become a full-time...
stock market guy.
Have a Duff, boys!
Oh, thank you.
My English is not perfect,
but I have to tell you...
your beer is like swill to us.
Only a swine would drink this beer.
Thank you, anyway.
You aren't from around here,
are you?
We are from Germany.
He is from the east;
I am from the west.
I had a big company,
he had a big company.
Now we have a very big company.
We want to buy the power plant.
Would your owner ever sell it?
Well, I happen to know
he won't sell it...
for less than $1 00,000,000.
1 00,000,000?
Ein, zwei, drei, vier, funf...
Oh, don't worry.
We'll have enough left
to buy the Cleveland Browns.
It's the miracle...
we've been waiting for.
What are we spending it on?
Homer's probably buying
some magic beans with it.
We'll have a savings account.
We've never had one.
Kids, I think everything is
going to be okay from now on.
Hey, hey!
Oh, Homer!
You heard?
We heard.
Isn't it wonderful?
We have some great plans
for that money.
I'm afraid I had
some great plans too.
What do you mean?
I spent it on beer.
Surprise, surprise.
You spent $5,200 on beer?!
$5,200?
What are you talking about?
What?
I sold it all for 25 bucks!
- Oww!
- Come on, everybody.
It makes you feel better.
Hey, Homer.
Did you buy this car
with your stock money?
Sure did,
and the great thing about it...
is everybody got rich.
For once
us working stiffs got a break.
Wait till you see Lenny.
He just got back from
the plastic surgeon.
Lenny, looks like you
got the works.
It started as an eye tuck,
but the stock kept climbing.
Come here.
Mr. Burns is on TV.
Mr. Burns?
Here, Mr. Burns.
Over here.
Mr. Burns.
We've heard a German consortium
offered to purchase the plant.
Any comments?
You'll see the Statue of Liberty
wearing lederhosen...
before you'll see Germans
running my plant!
Then why are you meeting with them?
So I can look Uncle Fritz
square in the monocle...
and say, ''Nein.!''
You never cease to amaze me, sir.
Hmm?
Whoo-hoo!
Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo!
Whoo-hoo-hoo!
I grudgingly accept.
Now, don't worry.
You'll find these two gentlemen
are as American as apple pie.
Hans and Fritz--
Why, that's justJohn and Frank.
Ich bin ein Springfielder.
They'll bring their own people in.
This ain't good.
We could all lose our jobs.
Look at all those
worried faces...
except for Lenny.
He looks great.
This is the worst day of my life.
Those Germans can't fire me.
I'm the only one who can
unjam the rod dissociator.
They can't fire me.
I run the gaseous contaminant
particularifier.
They can't fire me.
- Why?
- Why?
'Cause...
Guten morgen.
I am Horst.
I'm speaking with you...
because I am
the most nonthreatening.
Perhaps I remind you
of lovable Sergeant Schultz...
on Hogan's Heroes.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, he does.
What is the best way...
to an efficient plant?
- I don't know.
- Well, uh...
Search me.
Happy workers who feel secure
at their jobs--
So let's get to
know each other better.
Do we have any alcoholics among us?
Uh... me.
Right here.
I'm drunk right now.
You'll be given
a six-week treatment...
at our drying-out facility
in Hawaii...
after which
you'll return at full pay.
- Oh, great!
- Great.
Hey, maybe I'll marry
Elizabeth Taylor.
Lucky drunks.
We cannot uber-emphasize...
the importance of employee safety.
We plan to have
some frank discussions...
with your safety inspector.
Yeah, sock it to 'em, Horst!
Psst. Hey, Homer.
Aren't you the safety inspector?
D'oh!
Mm-hmm-hmm...
mm-hmm...
That's one big check.
You look sharp today, sir.
You looken sharpen todayen,
mein herr.
You looken sharpen todayen,
mein herr.
That was a gutsy decision, sir.
Smithers, come here.
I wanted to give you something...
and I know you
wanted this photo...
of Elvis and me.
He was good to his mother.
Yes, but I couldn't understand
a word that man said.
''Mr. Burns...
...hound dog.''
Stop it.
You're killing me, sir.
Sir, what will you do next?
I'll get that new hip
I've been hankering for.
Then, who knows?
Beekeeping? Boxing?
Bocce ball?
The world is my oyster, Smithers.
Farewell.
Lisa, your father needs your help.
Do you know anything about Germany?
Well, it's a country in Europe.
Good. I'm learning.
An economic power of the world.
Because we send them money?
No.
They're efficient and punctual,
with a strong work ethic.
D'oh!
Oh, woe is me.
Homie, come to bed.
Oh, Marge, I'm going to be fired.
I know it.
Don't worry.
Whatever happens,
we'll pay the bills somehow.
Marge, it's not the money.
My job is my identity.
If I'm not a safety ''whatchamajigger,''
I''m nothing.
Well, if you can't sleep...
why don't you do
something constructive?
Ooh... Battlestar Galactica.!
Fit, damn you! Fit!
There.
Yo, Homer, you got
to get ready for work.
Uh-huh.
What?
What am I gonna--
Hey, you!
Stop being... so unsafe!
Smitty... safen up.
Could we have a word?
No.
I must have phrased that badly.
My English is inelegant.
I meant to say...
may we have a brief,
friendly chat?
No.
Failed again.
''We request
the pleasure of your company...
for a free exchange of ideas.''
Nooo!
You've been safety inspector
for two years.
What initiatives
have you spearheaded?
Uh... all of them?
I see.
Then you must have
some good ideas...
for the future as well.
I sure do!
Such as?
Well, uh...
I wish the candy machine...
wasn't so picky about taking
beat-up dollar bills...
because...
a lot of workers
really like candy.
We understand, Homer.
After all, we are from
the land of chocolate.
Wow... chocolate, half-price!
# La la la-la-la-la-la #
Mr. Simpson.
# La-la-la-la-la #
Mr. Simpson?
Huh? Oh, sorry.
We were talking about chocolate?
That was ten minutes ago.
I think I did
pretty good in there.
Yeah, those Germans aren't so bad.
Sure, they've made mistakes in the past,
but that's why pencils have erasers.
Attention, workers.
We have completed our evaluation.
We regret to announce
the following layoffs...
which I will read
in alphabetical order.
Simpson, Homer.
That is all.
Ay, caramba.!
Bart, Lisa did
a wonderful job on my hair.
And we saved $40
for the family.
We all have to pull together
till your father gets a new job.
I made some soap by squeezing
soap slivers together.
That's very clever.
Instead of buying comic books,
I read them in the store.
You shouldn't do that.
My jump rope broke,
but I tied it together.
Good, Lisa.
I didn't take a bath today
and may not take one tomorrow.
I want you to take baths, Bart.
Lousy German know-it-alls.
Who are they
to say I'm not safe?
Oh, what's the matter
with this thing?
No problems here.
That's right, Burnsie.
Keep your wrist supple.
Throw it, don't aim it.
This is my park.
Get out!
It was worth it.
This place has gone to hell.
It's obscene what they did
to your office.
You caught me at a bad time.
But my folk guitar class
has been canceled.
Would you like to get together
for a drink?
Would I?!
I got to go.
See you at 6:00.
You're going down, my friend.
Yes, sir, Mr. Burns.
That shouldn't be.
Ach du lieber.!
Raccoons!
That's right.
Gather the nectar,
my little drones...
and make the honey--
honey for your children.
Fools!
Ready for that drink, sir?
Just a second.
Let me introduce you to the gang.
That's Buzz, that's Honey.
And you see that queen?
Her name is Smithers.
That's very flattering,
but we should go.
Several bees are stinging me.
Moe's Tavern.
Moe speaking.
I'm looking...
for a Mrs. O'Problem,
first name: Bea.
Uh...just a minute, I'll check.
Uh... Bea O'Problem?
Bea O'Problem?
Come on, guys.
Do I have a Bea O'Problem here?
You sure do.
Oh! It's you, isn't it?
When I get you, I'm gonna
use your head for a bucket...
and paint my house
with your brains.
Bart, I want you to go down
to Moe's Tavern.
I need you to bring
your father home.
Excuse me.
I'm looking for...
Wait a minute.
I know that voice.
If it isn't little Bart Simpson!
I haven't seen you in years.
That's right.
That's my pop.
Oh, little Bart.
We hear all about your monkeyshines.
Bet you get into
all kinds of trouble...
he don't even know about.
Am I right?
Well, I make some crank phone calls.
Aw, ha-ha, that's great!
Ha-ha-ha!
Hey, would you sing
that old song...
you used to sing for me?
Moe, for you, anything.
Look.!
A blue-collar bar.
Oh, Smithers, let's go slumming.
Encore!
He's a pip, this one is.
Ah, the mirthless laugh
of the damned.
Hold your nose, Smithers.
We're going in.
Watch me blend in.
Barkeep,
some cheap domestic beer...
for me and my buddy here.
I'm not your buddy,
you greedy old reptile.
Smithers, who is this saucy fellow?
Homer Simpson.
Sector sieben-gruben--
I mean, sector 7-G.
Recently terminated.
I lost my job...
so you could have
another $1 00 million!
Does your money cheer you up
when you're feeling blue?
Yes.
Bad example.
Let me ask you this:
Does your money ever hug you...
when you come home at night?
Why, no.
And does it ever say
''I love you''?
No, it doesn't.
# Nobody loves you #
# Nobody loves you
You're old and you're ugly #
Way to go, Homer!
Good heavens, Smithers.
They're not afraid of me anymore.
Hey, Mr. Burns,
did you get that letter I sent?
Letter? I don't recall--
That's because
I forgot to stamp it!
Ah, that kid slays me.
That was no accident.
Let's get out of here.
# Na na nah nah #
# Na na nah nah #
#Wa-a-ave #
# Good-bye #
What good is money...
if you can't inspire terror
in your fellow man?
I've got to get my plant back.
Gott in himmel.!
Who'd have thought a nuclear plant
could be such a death trap?
It will cost another 1 00 million
just to bring it up to code.
Please sell me my plant back.
I'll pay anything.
What a happy coincidence!
You are desperate to buy,
and we are desperate to sell.
Desperate, eh?
Advantage: Burns.
This is my offer.
You'll find it's most unfair,
but those are the breaks.
But this is half
of what we paid you.
That's my final offer.
Take it or leave it.
All right, Mr. Burns, you win.
But beware-- we Germans
aren't all smiles und sunshine.
Ooh, the Germans are mad at me.
I'm so scared.
Ooh, the Germans!
Stop it.
Stop that.
The Germans are coming after me.
Stop the pretending
you are scared game.
They're so big.
Stop it, Mr. Burns.
Protect me from the Germans!
Stop it!
Get out!
This is my office now!
Get out!
You too!
This is a place of business,
not a peewee flophouse!
Your orders, sir.
Restore my office,
cancel all repairs...
and rehire that chap
who sassed me in the bar.
Homer Simpson? But why?
Smithers,
I keep my friends close...
and my enemies even closer.
He'll slowly regain his confidence...
as the months and years drift by...
blissfully unaware...
that the sword of Damocles
is dangling just above his head.
Whoo-hoo!
I got my job back!
Shh!
D'oh!
It's formulated to rinse clean
with no oily deposits.
Hot dog.
And mild enough to use daily.
Isn't life grand?
What's wrong, sir?
Did I get some in your eyes?
The shampoo specifically said,
''No more tears.''
A lovely promise...
but one beyond the powers
of a mere shampoo.
There's something
you're not telling me.
Perhaps you'd talk to
Snappy the alligator?
Maybe.
Hello, Mr. Burns.
Snappy, it's hard to imagine...
but I was once a barefoot boy
with cheek of tan.
I dreamed of grand slam home runs...
and wiping out nations
with the stroke of a pen.
There's still time for that.
Is there?
Controlled nuclear fission
is a demanding mistress.
So you feel resentful
towards the plant.
Yes, exactly!
You know, maybe it's time
I sold the old girl.
Mmm!... Hmm?!
D'oh!
Ohh, what do they want?
Maybe a nap will boost my spirits.
I'll get that whale song
cassette you like, sir.
Oh, it's not fair!
I know how you feel, Simpson.
I've never seen Mr. Burns
so depressed.
People think because he's
rich and powerful and cruel...
he doesn't have feelings,
but he does.
I bet he wouldn't sell
the plant for $1 00 million.
Ooh, that's a lot of money.
D'oh!
Uh... Mr. Smithers...
do you have change for a dollar?
Good, good--
try to eat something.
Homer Simpson here.
It's your stockbroker.
Your stock in the plant...
just went up for the first time
in ten years.
I own stock?
All employees got some...
in exchange for waiving
certain constitutional rights.
So, how much did it go up?
The book says to make small talk...
before getting down to business.
- Everybody alive?
- Yeah.
- Like any sports?
- Sure.
- Ever go dancing?
- Not anymore.
- We should get together sometime.
- That'd be great.
There.
Now we trust each other.
Well, how are you?
Near death!
I renew my notary license
on a weekly basis.
So what's my stock up to?
Let me punch that up
on the computer.
Uh... 25? a share.
What should I do?
Let me put it this way--
you'll get $25 if you sell now.
Sell! Sell! Sell!
Whoo-hoo!
Twenty-five dollars!
Ooh!
Mmm... hot wax.
Oh, hammer.
##...Fight, fight, fight
fight, fight, fight ##
# The Itchy & Scratchy Show #
Mmm.
Bart, turn to
the Financial Channel.
Aunt Patty says our stock
is skyrocketing.
Unconfirmed takeover rumors...
have pushed Burns Worldwide
from 1 /8 to 52 and a quarter.
Your father's stock
is worth $5,200!
Wow! 5,200 smackers!
Oooh!
Ahhh...
Hey, Homer.
Want a Duff?
No, I'd like a bottle...
of Henry K. Duff's
Private Reserve.
Are you sure?
'Cause once I open the bottle,
there's no refund.
For your information...
I just made a cool $25
playing the market.
Buy low, sell high--
that's my motto.
I may quit my job
at the power plant...
and become a full-time...
stock market guy.
Have a Duff, boys!
Oh, thank you.
My English is not perfect,
but I have to tell you...
your beer is like swill to us.
Only a swine would drink this beer.
Thank you, anyway.
You aren't from around here,
are you?
We are from Germany.
He is from the east;
I am from the west.
I had a big company,
he had a big company.
Now we have a very big company.
We want to buy the power plant.
Would your owner ever sell it?
Well, I happen to know
he won't sell it...
for less than $1 00,000,000.
1 00,000,000?
Ein, zwei, drei, vier, funf...
Oh, don't worry.
We'll have enough left
to buy the Cleveland Browns.
It's the miracle...
we've been waiting for.
What are we spending it on?
Homer's probably buying
some magic beans with it.
We'll have a savings account.
We've never had one.
Kids, I think everything is
going to be okay from now on.
Hey, hey!
Oh, Homer!
You heard?
We heard.
Isn't it wonderful?
We have some great plans
for that money.
I'm afraid I had
some great plans too.
What do you mean?
I spent it on beer.
Surprise, surprise.
You spent $5,200 on beer?!
$5,200?
What are you talking about?
What?
I sold it all for 25 bucks!
- Oww!
- Come on, everybody.
It makes you feel better.
Hey, Homer.
Did you buy this car
with your stock money?
Sure did,
and the great thing about it...
is everybody got rich.
For once
us working stiffs got a break.
Wait till you see Lenny.
He just got back from
the plastic surgeon.
Lenny, looks like you
got the works.
It started as an eye tuck,
but the stock kept climbing.
Come here.
Mr. Burns is on TV.
Mr. Burns?
Here, Mr. Burns.
Over here.
Mr. Burns.
We've heard a German consortium
offered to purchase the plant.
Any comments?
You'll see the Statue of Liberty
wearing lederhosen...
before you'll see Germans
running my plant!
Then why are you meeting with them?
So I can look Uncle Fritz
square in the monocle...
and say, ''Nein.!''
You never cease to amaze me, sir.
Hmm?
Whoo-hoo!
Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo!
Whoo-hoo-hoo!
I grudgingly accept.
Now, don't worry.
You'll find these two gentlemen
are as American as apple pie.
Hans and Fritz--
Why, that's justJohn and Frank.
Ich bin ein Springfielder.
They'll bring their own people in.
This ain't good.
We could all lose our jobs.
Look at all those
worried faces...
except for Lenny.
He looks great.
This is the worst day of my life.
Those Germans can't fire me.
I'm the only one who can
unjam the rod dissociator.
They can't fire me.
I run the gaseous contaminant
particularifier.
They can't fire me.
- Why?
- Why?
'Cause...
Guten morgen.
I am Horst.
I'm speaking with you...
because I am
the most nonthreatening.
Perhaps I remind you
of lovable Sergeant Schultz...
on Hogan's Heroes.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, he does.
What is the best way...
to an efficient plant?
- I don't know.
- Well, uh...
Search me.
Happy workers who feel secure
at their jobs--
So let's get to
know each other better.
Do we have any alcoholics among us?
Uh... me.
Right here.
I'm drunk right now.
You'll be given
a six-week treatment...
at our drying-out facility
in Hawaii...
after which
you'll return at full pay.
- Oh, great!
- Great.
Hey, maybe I'll marry
Elizabeth Taylor.
Lucky drunks.
We cannot uber-emphasize...
the importance of employee safety.
We plan to have
some frank discussions...
with your safety inspector.
Yeah, sock it to 'em, Horst!
Psst. Hey, Homer.
Aren't you the safety inspector?
D'oh!
Mm-hmm-hmm...
mm-hmm...
That's one big check.
You look sharp today, sir.
You looken sharpen todayen,
mein herr.
You looken sharpen todayen,
mein herr.
That was a gutsy decision, sir.
Smithers, come here.
I wanted to give you something...
and I know you
wanted this photo...
of Elvis and me.
He was good to his mother.
Yes, but I couldn't understand
a word that man said.
''Mr. Burns...
...hound dog.''
Stop it.
You're killing me, sir.
Sir, what will you do next?
I'll get that new hip
I've been hankering for.
Then, who knows?
Beekeeping? Boxing?
Bocce ball?
The world is my oyster, Smithers.
Farewell.
Lisa, your father needs your help.
Do you know anything about Germany?
Well, it's a country in Europe.
Good. I'm learning.
An economic power of the world.
Because we send them money?
No.
They're efficient and punctual,
with a strong work ethic.
D'oh!
Oh, woe is me.
Homie, come to bed.
Oh, Marge, I'm going to be fired.
I know it.
Don't worry.
Whatever happens,
we'll pay the bills somehow.
Marge, it's not the money.
My job is my identity.
If I'm not a safety ''whatchamajigger,''
I''m nothing.
Well, if you can't sleep...
why don't you do
something constructive?
Ooh... Battlestar Galactica.!
Fit, damn you! Fit!
There.
Yo, Homer, you got
to get ready for work.
Uh-huh.
What?
What am I gonna--
Hey, you!
Stop being... so unsafe!
Smitty... safen up.
Could we have a word?
No.
I must have phrased that badly.
My English is inelegant.
I meant to say...
may we have a brief,
friendly chat?
No.
Failed again.
''We request
the pleasure of your company...
for a free exchange of ideas.''
Nooo!
You've been safety inspector
for two years.
What initiatives
have you spearheaded?
Uh... all of them?
I see.
Then you must have
some good ideas...
for the future as well.
I sure do!
Such as?
Well, uh...
I wish the candy machine...
wasn't so picky about taking
beat-up dollar bills...
because...
a lot of workers
really like candy.
We understand, Homer.
After all, we are from
the land of chocolate.
Wow... chocolate, half-price!
# La la la-la-la-la-la #
Mr. Simpson.
# La-la-la-la-la #
Mr. Simpson?
Huh? Oh, sorry.
We were talking about chocolate?
That was ten minutes ago.
I think I did
pretty good in there.
Yeah, those Germans aren't so bad.
Sure, they've made mistakes in the past,
but that's why pencils have erasers.
Attention, workers.
We have completed our evaluation.
We regret to announce
the following layoffs...
which I will read
in alphabetical order.
Simpson, Homer.
That is all.
Ay, caramba.!
Bart, Lisa did
a wonderful job on my hair.
And we saved $40
for the family.
We all have to pull together
till your father gets a new job.
I made some soap by squeezing
soap slivers together.
That's very clever.
Instead of buying comic books,
I read them in the store.
You shouldn't do that.
My jump rope broke,
but I tied it together.
Good, Lisa.
I didn't take a bath today
and may not take one tomorrow.
I want you to take baths, Bart.
Lousy German know-it-alls.
Who are they
to say I'm not safe?
Oh, what's the matter
with this thing?
No problems here.
That's right, Burnsie.
Keep your wrist supple.
Throw it, don't aim it.
This is my park.
Get out!
It was worth it.
This place has gone to hell.
It's obscene what they did
to your office.
You caught me at a bad time.
But my folk guitar class
has been canceled.
Would you like to get together
for a drink?
Would I?!
I got to go.
See you at 6:00.
You're going down, my friend.
Yes, sir, Mr. Burns.
That shouldn't be.
Ach du lieber.!
Raccoons!
That's right.
Gather the nectar,
my little drones...
and make the honey--
honey for your children.
Fools!
Ready for that drink, sir?
Just a second.
Let me introduce you to the gang.
That's Buzz, that's Honey.
And you see that queen?
Her name is Smithers.
That's very flattering,
but we should go.
Several bees are stinging me.
Moe's Tavern.
Moe speaking.
I'm looking...
for a Mrs. O'Problem,
first name: Bea.
Uh...just a minute, I'll check.
Uh... Bea O'Problem?
Bea O'Problem?
Come on, guys.
Do I have a Bea O'Problem here?
You sure do.
Oh! It's you, isn't it?
When I get you, I'm gonna
use your head for a bucket...
and paint my house
with your brains.
Bart, I want you to go down
to Moe's Tavern.
I need you to bring
your father home.
Excuse me.
I'm looking for...
Wait a minute.
I know that voice.
If it isn't little Bart Simpson!
I haven't seen you in years.
That's right.
That's my pop.
Oh, little Bart.
We hear all about your monkeyshines.
Bet you get into
all kinds of trouble...
he don't even know about.
Am I right?
Well, I make some crank phone calls.
Aw, ha-ha, that's great!
Ha-ha-ha!
Hey, would you sing
that old song...
you used to sing for me?
Moe, for you, anything.
Look.!
A blue-collar bar.
Oh, Smithers, let's go slumming.
Encore!
He's a pip, this one is.
Ah, the mirthless laugh
of the damned.
Hold your nose, Smithers.
We're going in.
Watch me blend in.
Barkeep,
some cheap domestic beer...
for me and my buddy here.
I'm not your buddy,
you greedy old reptile.
Smithers, who is this saucy fellow?
Homer Simpson.
Sector sieben-gruben--
I mean, sector 7-G.
Recently terminated.
I lost my job...
so you could have
another $1 00 million!
Does your money cheer you up
when you're feeling blue?
Yes.
Bad example.
Let me ask you this:
Does your money ever hug you...
when you come home at night?
Why, no.
And does it ever say
''I love you''?
No, it doesn't.
# Nobody loves you #
# Nobody loves you
You're old and you're ugly #
Way to go, Homer!
Good heavens, Smithers.
They're not afraid of me anymore.
Hey, Mr. Burns,
did you get that letter I sent?
Letter? I don't recall--
That's because
I forgot to stamp it!
Ah, that kid slays me.
That was no accident.
Let's get out of here.
# Na na nah nah #
# Na na nah nah #
#Wa-a-ave #
# Good-bye #
What good is money...
if you can't inspire terror
in your fellow man?
I've got to get my plant back.
Gott in himmel.!
Who'd have thought a nuclear plant
could be such a death trap?
It will cost another 1 00 million
just to bring it up to code.
Please sell me my plant back.
I'll pay anything.
What a happy coincidence!
You are desperate to buy,
and we are desperate to sell.
Desperate, eh?
Advantage: Burns.
This is my offer.
You'll find it's most unfair,
but those are the breaks.
But this is half
of what we paid you.
That's my final offer.
Take it or leave it.
All right, Mr. Burns, you win.
But beware-- we Germans
aren't all smiles und sunshine.
Ooh, the Germans are mad at me.
I'm so scared.
Ooh, the Germans!
Stop it.
Stop that.
The Germans are coming after me.
Stop the pretending
you are scared game.
They're so big.
Stop it, Mr. Burns.
Protect me from the Germans!
Stop it!
Get out!
This is my office now!
Get out!
You too!
This is a place of business,
not a peewee flophouse!
Your orders, sir.
Restore my office,
cancel all repairs...
and rehire that chap
who sassed me in the bar.
Homer Simpson? But why?
Smithers,
I keep my friends close...
and my enemies even closer.
He'll slowly regain his confidence...
as the months and years drift by...
blissfully unaware...
that the sword of Damocles
is dangling just above his head.
Whoo-hoo!
I got my job back!
Shh!