The Simpsons (1989–…): Season 27, Episode 22 - Orange Is the New Yellow - full transcript

Marge lets Bart go to the park alone because he's too irritating, then she ends up getting arrested for leaving him unsupervised.

♪ The Simpsons 27x22 ♪
Orange is the New Yellow
Original Air Date on Ma

== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man

Oh, not again!

D'oh!

Eh, hello?

Bart!

Hell no!

D'oh!

Mmm.

D'oh!

Homer.



Do something.

Quittin' time!

Quittin' time.

Thank God it's Friday.

Thursday.

Same thing. See you Monday.

Marge, baby, I'm out the door.

Are you sure?

Because sometimes people say
they're out the door

when they really
haven't left yet.

Those people are horrible,
horrible liars.

See you soon.

Simpson, not so fast.

Hold up one end of this poster.



Now use it to conceal this.

Excellent.

Now, let me just
crank up the plumb bob

to determine the vertical.

With this mechanical marvel,

we'll have this poster
level in under three hours.

Ooh, and for a
little excitement,

how about a plumb bob song?

Uh...

All right.
Um...

♪ One must never, never ♪

♪ Never rush ♪

♪ The plumb bob ♪

♪ Slow is the way ♪

♪ The only way to go ♪

♪ Clear your schedule ♪

♪ Before you use the plumb bob ♪

♪ Yes, the plumb bob ♪

♪ Is mighty, mighty ♪

♪ Mighty ♪

♪ Slow... ♪

Okay.

Maggie's had her bath,

dinner's on the stove.
Hmm.

Dare I pop a cork?

Give me a spin, Marge.

You're so deft.

- Not like...
- him.

Mom. Mom!

My costume for the
science play is all wrong!

You said you were a seahorse.

A male seahorse.

With a pouch.

Males have pouches?

Male seahorse's nurturing is one
of the wonders of the world.

You said you read the script.

Bart gave me a synopsis.

I...

Oh, boy.

Oh, now what?

Eat your carrot and pea medley.

Mom, I'll clean
that up for you.

Oh, thank God, some help.

Where's the mop?
In the mop closet.

Where's the bucket?
Under the mop.

Other closet.

There's stuff in front of it.

Let me help.

Ay, caramba!

Hey, there's wood
underneath this linoleum.

Oh!
Just go play outside.

Outside?
Your loss.

I do not get what kids
see in these places.

It's the genie of the sub.

Genie? I wish.

You get a lamp and a carpet,

which is more than
I've got in here.

Hmm, didn't know this place
was filled with such losers.

Hey, Martin.

Bartholomew!

This playground has safely
stimulated my imagination.

What the hell are
you talking about?

Martin.

Who's your new friend?

Mother, don't blow this for me.

Fine, I'll just go sit
and talk to his mother.

Where is she?

I'm here by myself.

But I have a safety number.

Moe's Tavern.

Homer ain't here.

And for once, that's the truth.

Simpson, are you
here unsupervised?

Yeah.
And so what?

I'd lose the attitude,
"Sylvester Alone."

Finally, a laugh out of Lou.

Son, kids aren't allowed
on their own anymore.

Now, who said you
could come here?

My mom.

Ugh.
Always the mom.

She's got needles.

What did Bart do now?

I was playing
nicely in the park.

Bart, how could you... What?

Your children
need to be supervised.

Take her away, boys.

If you take me away, then
who's gonna watch my kids?

You should've thought of that

before we showed up
unannounced.

What, Marge?

You're being arrested?

I'm afraid so, Mr. Simpson.

A mother at the park saw
something she disapproved of.

And luckily for your son,
she overreacted.

I, uh...
I get carsick in the front.

Our top story,
a Springfield mother

has been arrested for
an outrageous "negligée."

The...

Sorry, I'm being told
it's negligence.

Which is very boring.

Judge, I don't understand.

When I was a kid,
we used to go out and play

and not come home until dark.

I see.

Bailiff, incarcerate
Marge Simpsons' mother.

Thanks for
ratting me out, Marge

With all due respect, Judge,

this is wackadoodle.

Nobody cares about
their kids more than I do.

Liar.

Marge is right, Your Honor.

My e-mail password
is "bad dad."

Yeah, Judge.

If you want to know
who should be in jail,

he weighs 240
and smells like onions.

It is not within
the purview of this court

to determine how fat
and smelly your father may be.

Woo-hoo!

Mrs. Simpsons, 90 days.

This is Kafkaesque.

Kafkaesque!

I've got my eye on you.

Now it's Orwellian.

Hey, kitties.

You got a new
ball of yarn.

Oh, that guard
is awfully slammy.

Newbies on top.

Oh.
Where's the ladder?

Have you been claimed yet?

Claimed?

By one of the book clubs.

Yeah, we read
a little, dig a little,

read a little, dig a little,

kiss a little,
dig a little.

Homer, I think you're supposed
to cook sausage.

What's the point?

Well, hi there, Homer.

I know a time like this is when
a man really needs his neighbor.

Yeah, well,
thanks for the check-in.

Well, this is
more than a check-in.

It's a chance to do good
for us boys in the hood!

Just call us NWA,

"Neighbors With Appetizers."

Wow, wow.

I really am
the richest man in town.

Not rich in money,

but in what really matters:
pity.

And what happened to Marge
is a wake up call for us all.

There's no greater crime
than half-assed parenting.

Kirk, where's Milhouse?

On the leash, baby.
On the leash.

He's too far.

Retract.
Retract!

Whoa!
Why'd you pull me back?

Some new kids were just
about to give me a chance.

Don't try anything new, son.

I could've married a woman
who didn't look exactly like me.

But that would've been crazy.

Hey, newbie.

Nobody touches
the new James Patterson

until Solar reads it first.

She wants you
to pick it up.

You scared, huh?

Oh! Whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa.

Anybody else want a
taste of Blue Thunder?

Uh, I do. Yeah.

Now, if you ladies
recall what this place

is supposed
to be for...

Mm... Mm...
Smokin' weed?

Reading!

Dad, if this is what they send
when Mom goes to jail,

just imagine what happens
when you kick the bucket.

Oh, man, that's gonna
be so awesome.

Dad, Dad! You're
eating a teddy bear!

That's
my stomach's problem.

Okay, Homer, I just changed
all the linens,

diapered the dog
for modesty,

and replaced the batteries
in the smoke detectors,

which were all bad.

One was just a candy dish
with a red light painted on.

Was there any candy in it?

There is now.

Oh, Flanders.

It turns out there's
a good side to you after all.

Well, sir, maybe I know a little
bit about what it's like

to lose the lady of the house.

Oh, I think I heard
a dryer ding.

Thank you, Mr. Flanders.

Tell your boys
I want to hang.

Flanders is great.

I've always said that.

But we can't forget your mother.

Oh...

Oh, my first prison flower.

Can it be? Am I starting
to like it in here?

Exercise time!

Ooh.

I never have time
to exercise.

Is this a prison or a spa?

Aah! It's a prison.

Hey, uh, are there any more
chocolate chip muffins?

Sorry, Dad. The only ones left
have caraway seeds.

Oh. I miss your mother
so much.

Shockingly, these gift baskets
haven't solved anything.

Wait, Dad. That one that
looks like blueberry

actually has M&M'S.

Oh. Oh, thank God.
Everything's okay.

But for how long?

Mom, I really, really miss you.

Also, I have a field trip form

that needs to be signed
for school.

I think if I mail it to you
at the prison it's still

easier than getting it from Dad.

I want to talk to Mom.

Can you send me a shiv
for show and tell?

Preferably with blood on it.

Hey, give me the phone.

Are my blue pants done
at the prison laundry?

Remember to sign my form.

Shiv with blood.

Press my pants.

The electric chair.

And then he thought it was
the electric chair.

8:00.
Lights out.

Really? 8:00?
I get to go to bed?

I don't have to clean
a sink full of dishes,

or write a paragraph with
topic sentence for Homer?

Aw, you're tired too.

Everyone goes to sleep
so easily here.

Marge, your positivity
is contagious.

I'm starting to believe
I really will show everyone.

Simpson, you
got a visitor.

Oh, gee, now?
It's a shame to go inside.

Okay, let's
move in the body now.

Marge, I got great news.

We hired the one
good lawyer in town.

Yes, Mrs. Simpson, I got
you off on a technicality.

Since your husband never
filed for a birth certificate,

Bart isn't
legally your son.

Mm? Mm?

How about that?

Why aren't you
saying anything, Marge?

You're free. Free.

Now, it's not the world
you remember.

The girl at the coffee place
that left?

Came back.

So you'll have that
to get used to.

I'm free?

Oh, and just in time.

Bart's claiming
he's in another dimension,

but I think he's just
hiding in the closet.

I had 90 days.

I was promised 90 days.

Now you have to give me
more time.

Oh, no you don't.

I can't go to another
school meeting.

I can't!

Everyone just asks about
their own kid.

Hey, you like shopping?
'Cause you just

bought yourself
two more months.

Sorry, Homie.
I can't go back yet.

Just tell me where the soap
for the dishwasher goes

and how do I...

Marge would rather stay in
prison than come home to me.

I have to reexamine
my entire life.

Yeah, maybe you can start by not
bringing your kids to the bar.

Yeah, it's kind of funny-- Homer
takes his kids to a saloon,

but Marge is in jail
for being a bad parent.

I guess somebody up there
likes me.

Do you like him?

Uh, not really, no.

I've got to change, show Marge
I can help around the house.

More than just turning up
the TV when she vacuums.

I've got to become
the perfect homemaker.

Oh...

Oh, I was doing so great,

but it turned out
I was a secret alcoholic.

Yeah, good thing
it's just your imagination.

Oh, yeah.

When we said we'd take turns
watching all the kids,

I never thought
it would be my turn.

Why did I get
the choke chain?

Go around
this side of the tree.

This side of the tree.
This side of the tree!

No, Ralph. No!

Hi, Mr. Bobcat.

You're in charge, boy.

Now, listen, bobcat.

Are you as sick as I am
of having grown-ups

everywhere you go?

I say we sneak off to the park
and have fun by ourselves.

Great idea.
I'll text my mom.

My Jitterbug
senior phone!

Jitterbug call center.

If you've fallen
and need assistance, press one.

If you're lonely and want
to talk, press disconnect.

Oh, I really miss my family.

I thought they were
letting you out.

I just wasn't ready
for the outside.

I didn't realize how
much I needed a break.

But maybe not
a prison break.

Prison break?
Prison break! Yeah!

All right, all our parents

think we're playing after-school
rugby with Willie.

What... Where's me scrum?

Time for unsupervised play!

I'm going down
the hot slide in shorts.

I'm gonna freckle.

I'm gonna ride the hobbyhorse
English style.

Finally-- kids having fun
the way they were meant to.

It just proves
that danger is not the rule,

but the exception.

Tornado!

This is Kent Brockman covering
two of the biggest stories

a tornado
and a prison break,

while I report safely from the
Channel Six Emmy Watch bunker.

Arnie Pye, what's the situation?

I'm-I'm about to die, Kent.

And worst of all
is the fact that your voice

is the last one I'll ever hear,

you pompous snow monkey!

Homer, what are you
doing here?

I had to do whatever it
takes to get you to leave.

So I dressed up as
a prison guard.

Now I'd better not
blow my cover.

Get back. Get back.

Okay, a little forward.

Now back! Back! Back!

Now forward.

And back! Back! Back!

It's very sweet
that you came for me.

I know things won't always
be perfect----

but they'll be better than
fighting off prison inmates

in a tornado.

I believe you.

And I want to go home.

Mwah.

Come on, man. Take the shot.

No, I can't. I'll fire
a warning shot at her hair.

Oh, she uses
too much product.

Don't worry. All the kids
are accounted for

except for, uh... Raife Waggum.

Well, I have a sad call to make.

Huh. Busy.

Bart, would you like
some extra bacon?

Sure would, Mom.

Okay, but you owe me.

Sorry, sorry,
force of habit.

It's okay, Mom. Whatever you
want, just glad you're back.

Geez, ever since I got sprung
from the hoosegow,

you kids have been
kind of clingy.

No, Mom, we're just really
glad to have you back.

And we're not nuts or
anything, but please

don't let the refrigerator
door block my view of you.

Aah!

Hmm, I need some spices
from the pantry.

I'm coming, too.

Oh, you're pathetic.

Let me in.

Now, kids, give your mother
a little peace and...

Aw.

Aw.

I want to say two things:

I love you guys and
we're out of peanut butter.

== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man

Shh!