The Simpsons (1989–…): Season 26, Episode 12 - The Musk Who Fell to Earth - full transcript
Inventor Elon Musk lands his space craft in the Simpsons' garden and, inadvertently inspired by Homer's ramblings, comes up with a host of new products to benefit the town. This includes running the power station on eco-friendly electricity though this leads to a fall in profits and mass unemployment and Homer must reluctantly tell his new friend that he is no longer welcome.
Ay-ay-ay!
(bees buzzing)
♪ The Simpsons 26x12 ♪
The Musk Who Fell to Earth
Original Air Date on January
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther
(birds chirping)
Oh! Looks like our birdhouse is
benefitting from positive word of beak.
(laughs)
(eagle screeches)
A bald eagle!
It is!
(screeches)
Maybe he's giving those
little baby birds some food.
(screams)
(screeches)
(gasps)
Homer, quick!
Get your shooing broom.
Marge, an eagle is
our country's mascot!
Fighting him is like kicking George
Washington in his wooden nuts!
Aah!
(grunting)
(screeches)
(grunts)
Ow. Ow.
This means war!
Boy, bring my toupee.
Go ahead, boy.
MILHOUSE:
It's working!
It's definitely working!
For once, we're finally
gonna catch that mouse.
(screeches)
- Got you!
- Ha.ha! Stupid eagle!
It wasn't the mouse
we were after. It was you!
Marge, preheat the oven!
(grunting)
(screeching)
I got him cornered, boy!
Bag him up!
(screeching)
(grunting)
(laughing)
Not so majestic in
a trash bag, are you?
Oopsie.
(puffing)
Seems almost a shame
I'm gonna have to
bang you against
the wall till you die.
No!
Let's take the eagle
to Shelbyville Animal Rescue
where you took that injured hummingbird
you found on the front lawn.
Uh...
um...
Or maybe we can nurse him back to health
and set him free in the wild.
Okay, Bart, think of a name.
Make it great--
insanely,
unbelievably great!
- Squawky?
- Perfect.
Just like when we let
you name Maggie.
(humming)
Squawky, until I met you, I never
thought I could love something bald.
(screeches)
Bye!
We love you.
(all gasp)
Oh, my God.
Brace yourselves, family.
We're about to meet a being with
intelligence far beyond ours.
Boy, give me my
baseball bat.
Hello. I'm Elon Musk.
- Die!
- What the...?
Dad, no! Elon Musk is possibly
the greatest living inventor!
You're the guy who put
wheels on luggage?
Oh, bless you!
Bless you!
(crying)
I'm-I'm not that guy.
His company perfected electric cars
and then gave away the patents!
He changed the way
Hollywood drives!
And now he's landed
in our yard.
On my son's bike and on
our mailman's leg.
Honey, guess who
crushed me?
I'll give you a hint.
His first name is Elon.
Ah! That's right!
So, what brings you
to Springfield, Mr. Musk?
What does bring me
to Springfield?
Well, to start with, I'm an idea man.
It's my raison d'être.
Mmm, Raisin Detra.
I've hit a dry patch.
I'm blocked.
In my personal drought,
I'm traveling the country
quietly by spaceship,
looking for... inspiration.
That's so sad.
Maybe we're the same.
Two lost ships in
the intellectual sea.
Each of whom could inspire
the other to reach...
Hey, Elon, if
you're interested,
you could come to the nuclear
plant where I work tomorrow.
I am and I will!
Great. And if anyone asks where
I am, just cover for me.
- Homer!
- Fine!
We'll both go, and if
anybody asks you
something you don't
understand, just say protons.
So... do you get satellite
radio cheaper in space?
Homer, if we're gonna carpool together,
there's one thing you have to know.
Ass, gas or grass--
no one rides for free.
It's as old as the Bible.
No, it's that I don't talk to anyone unless
they provide the mental stimulation I seek.
Ditto.
(Lisa giggles nervously)
Hi. I didn't want to miss one more
chance to spend time with Mr. Musk.
It is such an honor.
He is.
And may I save that paper?
"No ideas."
(gasps)
That's sad.
(gasps)
That's even worse.
- (sighs)
- (gasps)
Aw, man, I wish those
were white meatballs.
(triumphant orchestra
music playing)
Oh, my. That's an idea!
White meatballs-- synthetic meat
that you can print in your printer.
Say something else.
Please! Now!
Uh... don't tase me, bro.
Chocolate rain!
Tase, bro, chocolate rain.
Use electroplating to remove
metal ions from rainwater,
making it suitable
for drinking.
What about the chocolate?
We'll make the device a soothing
chocolate color-- brilliant!
He's taking your Homerisms and turning
them into his own great ideas!
This is the most inspirational
moment of my life, but...
unfortunately,
this is my stop.
Bye.
Well, come on,
keep throwing things at me.
Um...
(grunts)
Oh, this is a break.
We're-we're taking a break!
- (grunts)
- (laughs)
(both laughing)
I got you!
- MUSK: You're fun.
- HOMER: Well, duh.
(laughs)
Why don't have fun
like that, Lou?
(huffing)
Ah, Chief!
Did anyone ever tell you
there's a safety on that gun?
What do you mean
this thing?
(grunts)
That's the trigger!
What are you writing?
Share, buddy.
Suggestion for
the suggestion box.
Can anyone make
a suggestion?
Be my guest, but I seriously doubt
the old man ever reads them.
Suggestion 8,432.
Nix!
Hmm, technically an order,
not a suggestion.
"Installing an MHD generator
would allow the plant to
"operate at a higher temperature
without the tyranny of moving parts
using conducting plasma
as the moving conductor"?
Excellent.
Clearly the work of Lenny.
That's the white one, right?
Is this your suggestion?
No. No, mine was rubber mats in
the decontamination showers.
Also, water in the
decontamination showers.
Never!
- Mm-hmm. Mm.
- Good Lord!
Sir, you know who that is?
The man who's revolutionized
the car industry.
Henry Ford, good
to see you.
As healthy and vibrant
as Detroit itself.
No, sir, this is Elon Musk.
For some reason, he's sharing
a console with Homer Simpson.
His mind is as rich as
an Italian wedding soup.
Homer, what are
you thinking now?
Uh, Pittsburgh 35, Dallas 31!
(triumphant orchestra
music playing)
Pittsburgh steel,
Dallas Cowboys...
Robotic cattle herding!
Thank you, Homer.
(gentle music playing)
Sorry, that's something
I'm working on
so that I don't have
to display facial expressions.
(electrical crackling)
Young man, I look at you
and I see myself.
How much would you
charge to work for me?
I don't care about the money.
The whole monetary system is
just a series of interconnected
heterogeneous databases.
Could you repeat
that first part?
- I don't care about the money.
- Once more... with feeling?
I don't care
about the money.
Now, let me feel
the vibrations of your lips.
(muffled):
I don't care about the money.
And I want you to get your
fingers out of my mouth!
Smithers, there's something
strange in his mouth.
It's called moisture.
Hmm, I see.
Okay, Musk, what
do you propose?
Well, you'll need to increase
the capacity of your plant.
You cover the costs,
you get 100% of the profits.
Careful, Elon, he's not
as kindly as he appears.
(creaking)
Now, Burns, what if
everything in town
not powered by electricity
were powered my electricity.
The electricity you sell them.
Imagine that.
(gasps)
My doctor says I'm not allowed to imagine,
so I hired someone to do it for me.
Send in the imaginer.
(humming)
Oh, that's fabulous. Oh, my
goodness, I can see everything.
I'm in.
Oh, by the way, Mr. Burns?
I haven't been
paid in a while.
Here you go. Imagine.
Ooh, Swiss francs!
Time to take my wife
for a night on the town.
Hey, wait a minute!
(sniffs)
So, what kind
of lunch do you pack?
Wow, Elon, you're like Willy Wonka
without the underpaid munchkins.
Uh, I'd like to offer
you something.
But all I got is coffee.
With cream!
Come on, I want cream.
Give it up.
(grunting)
D'oh!
Cream and sugar are
one thing too many!
(triumphant orchestra
music playing)
Exactly, exactly!
What if we made the cream cup out of
sugar so it dissolved in the coffee?
Wow. Wow!
Between your genius and my
nothing, we make a great team!
Come on, give me a hug.
Sorry, I'm not
one for hugging.
Well, I'm not one
for just talking.
(violin playing romantic melody)
Does that drone do date
nights with the wife?
My partner, Montgomery Burns...
ALL:
Boo!
- ...and I...
- (cheering) Hooray!
have exciting news.
Springfield Nuclear
has electric solutions
to all of your energy needs.
The Springfield Hyperloop.
Electrifying the school to
replace the old power source,
Willy pushing a wheel.
(drumming rhythmically)
And my passion project,
the Glayvinator.
You have a Glayvinator, too?
Is it, um, uh,
patent-pending?
Patent granted.
All the years of Glayvining
in my basement for naught!
I'm a failure.
Ah, yes,
everyone's been there.
- You have those feelings, too?
- Of course not.
If I knew how to make
a fist, I'd hit you.
This is wonderful, Smithers.
For once in my life,
something's going my way.
I'm not so sure.
Oh, another visit
from Mr. Worrywart.
I don't trust Musk.
Anyone with that much money
has a darkness in his soul.
Says you.
(sighs)
SMITHERS:
Mr. Burns?
Mr. Burns?
Sir, Musk's ideas sound
great, too great.
We're meant for wretched lives.
We should pass on this.
And before you reply, remember,
I've never let you down.
You know what I'm
going to say, right?
- Release the...
- I was going to say "Get out,"
but your idea
sounds better.
(sighs)
- Can you give me a ten-second
head start? - Of course.
One, two, three!
(barking)
Not on my carpet.
Attention, fans of
The Little Rascals.
The last of them died today
in Palm Springs.
Now it's time for traffic
with Arnie Pye.
Nothing to report, Kent.
Since Elon Musk gave everyone
self-driving cars,
there hasn't been
a single accident.
(chuckles) Well, you be
careful up there, Arnie.
No need. Mr. Musk gave me
a self-flying chopper!
Where's Arnie?
Now I can get as loaded as I want,
which is pretty damn loaded.
Oh, boy.
♪ Elon, Elon, you're my guy ♪
♪ Since you came down
from the sky. ♪
(gulping)
Car, go park at work so
people think I'm there.
(horn honks)
AUTOMATED VOICE:
Force of habit.
Car, wake Grampa.
(zapping)
(Grampa groaning)
Thank you.
Mm. (mutters)
- Bart, what are you doing?
- Disable auto drive.
AUTOMATED VOICE:
Enter password.
Foolish boy.
You'll never guess
Elon Musk's master password.
Musk rulez, with a "Z."
AUTOMATED VOICE:
Password verified.
Manual control enabled.
(laughs)
(tires squealing)
Welcome, friends.
I have invited you here to share in
our first quarterly profit report.
I'm sure you're all eager
to hear how much richer I am.
Now, to end
the suspense, Elon?
- Thank you, Monty. At our
current rate... - Yes?
assuming a linear
growth model...
Of course!
...we are losing roughly
$50 million a quarter.
Just remember, our purpose is to show
the planet how to save itself.
Oh, the planet.
I adore the planet.
Do you know my favorite
part of the planet?
Gravity!
There are no trapdoors
on this podium, Burns.
You just started
the PowerPoint presentation.
♪ ♪
No, no, no!
Musk, you tricked me.
Not a trick. We sacrifice
now to take care
of the future in a way
totally determined by me.
(groans) All I wanted was
to make obscene profits
in the last year of my life
and leave it to no one.
Why does God
hate dreamers?
Due to recent fluctuations
in my judgment,
and the once in a lifetime mistake
of trusting another human being,
I am saddened to announce
massive layoffs.
Who will pay for my radiation
sickness treatments?
Not my concern.
But Musk was our savior!
Your so-called savior isn't interested
in saving anything but the world. Bah!
Burns' layoffs have thrown
the city into a new depression,
marked by the singing of songs
from the old depression.
If you're old enough to have
suffered then and now,
why don't you sing along?
♪ Now the rain's a-fallin' ♪
♪ Hear the trains a-callin' ♪
♪ Whoo-ee ♪
♪ My mama done told me ♪
♪ Hear that lonesome whistle ♪
♪ Blowin' cross the trestle ♪
♪ Whoo-ee ♪
♪ My mama done told me ♪
♪ A-Whoo-ee ♪
♪ A-Whoo-ee ♪
(clopping hoofbeats)
♪ Oh, clickety-clack
and it's echoing back ♪
♪ The blues in the night. ♪
My final invention.
A pill that removes all grief.
(chittering)
Ah...
(groans)
(chittering)
Oh, my God, it
attracts women, too.
You're welcome, you're welcome,
you're welcome.
(distorted):
You're... welcome.
(whistles)
You really came back from
that Tommy John surgery.
Tell Musk there's more
where that came from.
More of what? (groans)
BURNS: Smithers, the hounds feel
terrible for what they did,
and good news, one
pooped out your ear.
We'll dip it in iodine,
and it's just like new.
(groans)
Also, I'm sorry, I couldn't
find the records
of the shots the hounds
had which, in turn,
led to all those painful
injections in your abdomen.
(groans)
Now, the reason I'm here...
I've made the calls. I'm
gonna have Elon Musk killed,
and I'll give you a little
extra morphine, friend.
(screaming)
(dogs snarling)
Oh, right,
that's a trapdoor.
(groans)
What's wrong, Homer?
Is it that all your friends are out
of work, and it's kind of your fault?
(scoffs) No, it's Elon.
I don't care how
much he likes me,
I don't want to be friends
with him anymore.
None of his pie in the sky
ideas ever work out.
Sky pies are lie pies.
Of all the planets
in the universe,
why did he have
to come to this one?
How do you break
up with a guy?
Here's what you do.
You just take his hand,
look in his eyes, and say,
"I don't want to be
with you anymore."
Wow, you're good at that.
It's gotten me out of a lot
of gym memberships.
♪ ♪
Sir, I have my concern about the team
of hit men you've assembled.
They seem a little long
in the tooth.
Nonsense. Just because
a man can't see
or hold his hands steady doesn't
make him any less of a marksman.
A yoga mat that
rolls itself up.
Silent Velcro, baseball tickets
that guide you to your seat.
(gunshots)
Sweet Columbian Exposition!
Musk lives.
But, uh, three of your hit men don't.
Recoil was pretty bad.
Oh, my God, Oh, my God.
You saved my life!
Which is gonna make what I'm
about to say even more awkward.
Whatever you want, we'll make
it work, right, Homer?
Elon, Elon, Elon,
I want to say something to you, and I don't
want you to be inspired by it.
I want you to listen.
No!
I don't want to be
with you anymore.
Can I ask why?
I could say
it's the being shot at,
or the flat, emotionless
way you talk,
or the fact that PayPal
was my idea,
and I was just about to do it
when you came out with it,
but really it's that this
town isn't ready for you.
- And neither am I.
- It's okay; I'll be fine.
(gentle music playing)
It's on your face, too.
Well, I did save you
one last prize from the Cracker
Jack box that is my brain.
Use it as you will.
On the Miami Dolphins helmet, the little
dolphin is also wearing a helmet.
Why are they always the most beautiful
just when they're breaking up with you?
I think it's time to tell
my luggage to self pack.
(beeps)
Good-bye, Elon.
Our town will never
forgive you.
Thanks for the real
working lightsaber.
(whooshing)
Ay, caramba!
(giggles)
I just wanted to see
if there was a better life,
even for a little bit.
When you're 16, I'll drive
you to Cincinnati,
and you'll see what
there is to see.
Mr. Musk, before you go,
is there anything you could do
to give a little girl hope
that the world of the future
won't be as grim
as all our current
movies forecast?
I guess humanity wants its
change one birdhouse at a time.
Hmm, for a man
who likes electric cars,
he sure burns
a lot of rocket fuel.
(moans)
- What's wrong, Dad?
- Nothing.
Elon's log, Earth date,
25 January, 2015.
I have left Springfield forever, but there
are some things I will definitely miss.
The little dolphin is
also wearing a helmet.
Wearing a helmet.
Wearing a helmet.
I never thought I'd say this, but
sometimes holograms miss the point.
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther
♪ There's a starman ♪
♪ Waiting in the sky ♪
♪ He'd like to come
and meet us ♪
♪ But he thinks
he'd blow our minds ♪
♪ There's a starman ♪
♪ Waiting in the sky ♪
♪ He's told us not to blow it ♪
♪ 'Cause he knows
it's all worthwhile ♪
♪ He told me ♪
♪ Let the children lose it ♪
♪ Let the children use it ♪
♪ Let all the children boogie ♪
♪ There's a starman ♪
♪ Waiting in the sky ♪
♪ He'd like to come
and meet us ♪
♪ But he thinks
he'd blow our minds ♪
♪ There's a starman ♪
♪ Waiting in the sky ♪
♪ He's told us not to blow it ♪
♪ 'Cause he knows
it's all worthwhile ♪
♪ He told me ♪
♪ Let the children lose it ♪
♪ Let the children use it ♪
♪ Let all the children boogie. ♪
Shh!
(bees buzzing)
♪ The Simpsons 26x12 ♪
The Musk Who Fell to Earth
Original Air Date on January
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther
(birds chirping)
Oh! Looks like our birdhouse is
benefitting from positive word of beak.
(laughs)
(eagle screeches)
A bald eagle!
It is!
(screeches)
Maybe he's giving those
little baby birds some food.
(screams)
(screeches)
(gasps)
Homer, quick!
Get your shooing broom.
Marge, an eagle is
our country's mascot!
Fighting him is like kicking George
Washington in his wooden nuts!
Aah!
(grunting)
(screeches)
(grunts)
Ow. Ow.
This means war!
Boy, bring my toupee.
Go ahead, boy.
MILHOUSE:
It's working!
It's definitely working!
For once, we're finally
gonna catch that mouse.
(screeches)
- Got you!
- Ha.ha! Stupid eagle!
It wasn't the mouse
we were after. It was you!
Marge, preheat the oven!
(grunting)
(screeching)
I got him cornered, boy!
Bag him up!
(screeching)
(grunting)
(laughing)
Not so majestic in
a trash bag, are you?
Oopsie.
(puffing)
Seems almost a shame
I'm gonna have to
bang you against
the wall till you die.
No!
Let's take the eagle
to Shelbyville Animal Rescue
where you took that injured hummingbird
you found on the front lawn.
Uh...
um...
Or maybe we can nurse him back to health
and set him free in the wild.
Okay, Bart, think of a name.
Make it great--
insanely,
unbelievably great!
- Squawky?
- Perfect.
Just like when we let
you name Maggie.
(humming)
Squawky, until I met you, I never
thought I could love something bald.
(screeches)
Bye!
We love you.
(all gasp)
Oh, my God.
Brace yourselves, family.
We're about to meet a being with
intelligence far beyond ours.
Boy, give me my
baseball bat.
Hello. I'm Elon Musk.
- Die!
- What the...?
Dad, no! Elon Musk is possibly
the greatest living inventor!
You're the guy who put
wheels on luggage?
Oh, bless you!
Bless you!
(crying)
I'm-I'm not that guy.
His company perfected electric cars
and then gave away the patents!
He changed the way
Hollywood drives!
And now he's landed
in our yard.
On my son's bike and on
our mailman's leg.
Honey, guess who
crushed me?
I'll give you a hint.
His first name is Elon.
Ah! That's right!
So, what brings you
to Springfield, Mr. Musk?
What does bring me
to Springfield?
Well, to start with, I'm an idea man.
It's my raison d'être.
Mmm, Raisin Detra.
I've hit a dry patch.
I'm blocked.
In my personal drought,
I'm traveling the country
quietly by spaceship,
looking for... inspiration.
That's so sad.
Maybe we're the same.
Two lost ships in
the intellectual sea.
Each of whom could inspire
the other to reach...
Hey, Elon, if
you're interested,
you could come to the nuclear
plant where I work tomorrow.
I am and I will!
Great. And if anyone asks where
I am, just cover for me.
- Homer!
- Fine!
We'll both go, and if
anybody asks you
something you don't
understand, just say protons.
So... do you get satellite
radio cheaper in space?
Homer, if we're gonna carpool together,
there's one thing you have to know.
Ass, gas or grass--
no one rides for free.
It's as old as the Bible.
No, it's that I don't talk to anyone unless
they provide the mental stimulation I seek.
Ditto.
(Lisa giggles nervously)
Hi. I didn't want to miss one more
chance to spend time with Mr. Musk.
It is such an honor.
He is.
And may I save that paper?
"No ideas."
(gasps)
That's sad.
(gasps)
That's even worse.
- (sighs)
- (gasps)
Aw, man, I wish those
were white meatballs.
(triumphant orchestra
music playing)
Oh, my. That's an idea!
White meatballs-- synthetic meat
that you can print in your printer.
Say something else.
Please! Now!
Uh... don't tase me, bro.
Chocolate rain!
Tase, bro, chocolate rain.
Use electroplating to remove
metal ions from rainwater,
making it suitable
for drinking.
What about the chocolate?
We'll make the device a soothing
chocolate color-- brilliant!
He's taking your Homerisms and turning
them into his own great ideas!
This is the most inspirational
moment of my life, but...
unfortunately,
this is my stop.
Bye.
Well, come on,
keep throwing things at me.
Um...
(grunts)
Oh, this is a break.
We're-we're taking a break!
- (grunts)
- (laughs)
(both laughing)
I got you!
- MUSK: You're fun.
- HOMER: Well, duh.
(laughs)
Why don't have fun
like that, Lou?
(huffing)
Ah, Chief!
Did anyone ever tell you
there's a safety on that gun?
What do you mean
this thing?
(grunts)
That's the trigger!
What are you writing?
Share, buddy.
Suggestion for
the suggestion box.
Can anyone make
a suggestion?
Be my guest, but I seriously doubt
the old man ever reads them.
Suggestion 8,432.
Nix!
Hmm, technically an order,
not a suggestion.
"Installing an MHD generator
would allow the plant to
"operate at a higher temperature
without the tyranny of moving parts
using conducting plasma
as the moving conductor"?
Excellent.
Clearly the work of Lenny.
That's the white one, right?
Is this your suggestion?
No. No, mine was rubber mats in
the decontamination showers.
Also, water in the
decontamination showers.
Never!
- Mm-hmm. Mm.
- Good Lord!
Sir, you know who that is?
The man who's revolutionized
the car industry.
Henry Ford, good
to see you.
As healthy and vibrant
as Detroit itself.
No, sir, this is Elon Musk.
For some reason, he's sharing
a console with Homer Simpson.
His mind is as rich as
an Italian wedding soup.
Homer, what are
you thinking now?
Uh, Pittsburgh 35, Dallas 31!
(triumphant orchestra
music playing)
Pittsburgh steel,
Dallas Cowboys...
Robotic cattle herding!
Thank you, Homer.
(gentle music playing)
Sorry, that's something
I'm working on
so that I don't have
to display facial expressions.
(electrical crackling)
Young man, I look at you
and I see myself.
How much would you
charge to work for me?
I don't care about the money.
The whole monetary system is
just a series of interconnected
heterogeneous databases.
Could you repeat
that first part?
- I don't care about the money.
- Once more... with feeling?
I don't care
about the money.
Now, let me feel
the vibrations of your lips.
(muffled):
I don't care about the money.
And I want you to get your
fingers out of my mouth!
Smithers, there's something
strange in his mouth.
It's called moisture.
Hmm, I see.
Okay, Musk, what
do you propose?
Well, you'll need to increase
the capacity of your plant.
You cover the costs,
you get 100% of the profits.
Careful, Elon, he's not
as kindly as he appears.
(creaking)
Now, Burns, what if
everything in town
not powered by electricity
were powered my electricity.
The electricity you sell them.
Imagine that.
(gasps)
My doctor says I'm not allowed to imagine,
so I hired someone to do it for me.
Send in the imaginer.
(humming)
Oh, that's fabulous. Oh, my
goodness, I can see everything.
I'm in.
Oh, by the way, Mr. Burns?
I haven't been
paid in a while.
Here you go. Imagine.
Ooh, Swiss francs!
Time to take my wife
for a night on the town.
Hey, wait a minute!
(sniffs)
So, what kind
of lunch do you pack?
Wow, Elon, you're like Willy Wonka
without the underpaid munchkins.
Uh, I'd like to offer
you something.
But all I got is coffee.
With cream!
Come on, I want cream.
Give it up.
(grunting)
D'oh!
Cream and sugar are
one thing too many!
(triumphant orchestra
music playing)
Exactly, exactly!
What if we made the cream cup out of
sugar so it dissolved in the coffee?
Wow. Wow!
Between your genius and my
nothing, we make a great team!
Come on, give me a hug.
Sorry, I'm not
one for hugging.
Well, I'm not one
for just talking.
(violin playing romantic melody)
Does that drone do date
nights with the wife?
My partner, Montgomery Burns...
ALL:
Boo!
- ...and I...
- (cheering) Hooray!
have exciting news.
Springfield Nuclear
has electric solutions
to all of your energy needs.
The Springfield Hyperloop.
Electrifying the school to
replace the old power source,
Willy pushing a wheel.
(drumming rhythmically)
And my passion project,
the Glayvinator.
You have a Glayvinator, too?
Is it, um, uh,
patent-pending?
Patent granted.
All the years of Glayvining
in my basement for naught!
I'm a failure.
Ah, yes,
everyone's been there.
- You have those feelings, too?
- Of course not.
If I knew how to make
a fist, I'd hit you.
This is wonderful, Smithers.
For once in my life,
something's going my way.
I'm not so sure.
Oh, another visit
from Mr. Worrywart.
I don't trust Musk.
Anyone with that much money
has a darkness in his soul.
Says you.
(sighs)
SMITHERS:
Mr. Burns?
Mr. Burns?
Sir, Musk's ideas sound
great, too great.
We're meant for wretched lives.
We should pass on this.
And before you reply, remember,
I've never let you down.
You know what I'm
going to say, right?
- Release the...
- I was going to say "Get out,"
but your idea
sounds better.
(sighs)
- Can you give me a ten-second
head start? - Of course.
One, two, three!
(barking)
Not on my carpet.
Attention, fans of
The Little Rascals.
The last of them died today
in Palm Springs.
Now it's time for traffic
with Arnie Pye.
Nothing to report, Kent.
Since Elon Musk gave everyone
self-driving cars,
there hasn't been
a single accident.
(chuckles) Well, you be
careful up there, Arnie.
No need. Mr. Musk gave me
a self-flying chopper!
Where's Arnie?
Now I can get as loaded as I want,
which is pretty damn loaded.
Oh, boy.
♪ Elon, Elon, you're my guy ♪
♪ Since you came down
from the sky. ♪
(gulping)
Car, go park at work so
people think I'm there.
(horn honks)
AUTOMATED VOICE:
Force of habit.
Car, wake Grampa.
(zapping)
(Grampa groaning)
Thank you.
Mm. (mutters)
- Bart, what are you doing?
- Disable auto drive.
AUTOMATED VOICE:
Enter password.
Foolish boy.
You'll never guess
Elon Musk's master password.
Musk rulez, with a "Z."
AUTOMATED VOICE:
Password verified.
Manual control enabled.
(laughs)
(tires squealing)
Welcome, friends.
I have invited you here to share in
our first quarterly profit report.
I'm sure you're all eager
to hear how much richer I am.
Now, to end
the suspense, Elon?
- Thank you, Monty. At our
current rate... - Yes?
assuming a linear
growth model...
Of course!
...we are losing roughly
$50 million a quarter.
Just remember, our purpose is to show
the planet how to save itself.
Oh, the planet.
I adore the planet.
Do you know my favorite
part of the planet?
Gravity!
There are no trapdoors
on this podium, Burns.
You just started
the PowerPoint presentation.
♪ ♪
No, no, no!
Musk, you tricked me.
Not a trick. We sacrifice
now to take care
of the future in a way
totally determined by me.
(groans) All I wanted was
to make obscene profits
in the last year of my life
and leave it to no one.
Why does God
hate dreamers?
Due to recent fluctuations
in my judgment,
and the once in a lifetime mistake
of trusting another human being,
I am saddened to announce
massive layoffs.
Who will pay for my radiation
sickness treatments?
Not my concern.
But Musk was our savior!
Your so-called savior isn't interested
in saving anything but the world. Bah!
Burns' layoffs have thrown
the city into a new depression,
marked by the singing of songs
from the old depression.
If you're old enough to have
suffered then and now,
why don't you sing along?
♪ Now the rain's a-fallin' ♪
♪ Hear the trains a-callin' ♪
♪ Whoo-ee ♪
♪ My mama done told me ♪
♪ Hear that lonesome whistle ♪
♪ Blowin' cross the trestle ♪
♪ Whoo-ee ♪
♪ My mama done told me ♪
♪ A-Whoo-ee ♪
♪ A-Whoo-ee ♪
(clopping hoofbeats)
♪ Oh, clickety-clack
and it's echoing back ♪
♪ The blues in the night. ♪
My final invention.
A pill that removes all grief.
(chittering)
Ah...
(groans)
(chittering)
Oh, my God, it
attracts women, too.
You're welcome, you're welcome,
you're welcome.
(distorted):
You're... welcome.
(whistles)
You really came back from
that Tommy John surgery.
Tell Musk there's more
where that came from.
More of what? (groans)
BURNS: Smithers, the hounds feel
terrible for what they did,
and good news, one
pooped out your ear.
We'll dip it in iodine,
and it's just like new.
(groans)
Also, I'm sorry, I couldn't
find the records
of the shots the hounds
had which, in turn,
led to all those painful
injections in your abdomen.
(groans)
Now, the reason I'm here...
I've made the calls. I'm
gonna have Elon Musk killed,
and I'll give you a little
extra morphine, friend.
(screaming)
(dogs snarling)
Oh, right,
that's a trapdoor.
(groans)
What's wrong, Homer?
Is it that all your friends are out
of work, and it's kind of your fault?
(scoffs) No, it's Elon.
I don't care how
much he likes me,
I don't want to be friends
with him anymore.
None of his pie in the sky
ideas ever work out.
Sky pies are lie pies.
Of all the planets
in the universe,
why did he have
to come to this one?
How do you break
up with a guy?
Here's what you do.
You just take his hand,
look in his eyes, and say,
"I don't want to be
with you anymore."
Wow, you're good at that.
It's gotten me out of a lot
of gym memberships.
♪ ♪
Sir, I have my concern about the team
of hit men you've assembled.
They seem a little long
in the tooth.
Nonsense. Just because
a man can't see
or hold his hands steady doesn't
make him any less of a marksman.
A yoga mat that
rolls itself up.
Silent Velcro, baseball tickets
that guide you to your seat.
(gunshots)
Sweet Columbian Exposition!
Musk lives.
But, uh, three of your hit men don't.
Recoil was pretty bad.
Oh, my God, Oh, my God.
You saved my life!
Which is gonna make what I'm
about to say even more awkward.
Whatever you want, we'll make
it work, right, Homer?
Elon, Elon, Elon,
I want to say something to you, and I don't
want you to be inspired by it.
I want you to listen.
No!
I don't want to be
with you anymore.
Can I ask why?
I could say
it's the being shot at,
or the flat, emotionless
way you talk,
or the fact that PayPal
was my idea,
and I was just about to do it
when you came out with it,
but really it's that this
town isn't ready for you.
- And neither am I.
- It's okay; I'll be fine.
(gentle music playing)
It's on your face, too.
Well, I did save you
one last prize from the Cracker
Jack box that is my brain.
Use it as you will.
On the Miami Dolphins helmet, the little
dolphin is also wearing a helmet.
Why are they always the most beautiful
just when they're breaking up with you?
I think it's time to tell
my luggage to self pack.
(beeps)
Good-bye, Elon.
Our town will never
forgive you.
Thanks for the real
working lightsaber.
(whooshing)
Ay, caramba!
(giggles)
I just wanted to see
if there was a better life,
even for a little bit.
When you're 16, I'll drive
you to Cincinnati,
and you'll see what
there is to see.
Mr. Musk, before you go,
is there anything you could do
to give a little girl hope
that the world of the future
won't be as grim
as all our current
movies forecast?
I guess humanity wants its
change one birdhouse at a time.
Hmm, for a man
who likes electric cars,
he sure burns
a lot of rocket fuel.
(moans)
- What's wrong, Dad?
- Nothing.
Elon's log, Earth date,
25 January, 2015.
I have left Springfield forever, but there
are some things I will definitely miss.
The little dolphin is
also wearing a helmet.
Wearing a helmet.
Wearing a helmet.
I never thought I'd say this, but
sometimes holograms miss the point.
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther
♪ There's a starman ♪
♪ Waiting in the sky ♪
♪ He'd like to come
and meet us ♪
♪ But he thinks
he'd blow our minds ♪
♪ There's a starman ♪
♪ Waiting in the sky ♪
♪ He's told us not to blow it ♪
♪ 'Cause he knows
it's all worthwhile ♪
♪ He told me ♪
♪ Let the children lose it ♪
♪ Let the children use it ♪
♪ Let all the children boogie ♪
♪ There's a starman ♪
♪ Waiting in the sky ♪
♪ He'd like to come
and meet us ♪
♪ But he thinks
he'd blow our minds ♪
♪ There's a starman ♪
♪ Waiting in the sky ♪
♪ He's told us not to blow it ♪
♪ 'Cause he knows
it's all worthwhile ♪
♪ He told me ♪
♪ Let the children lose it ♪
♪ Let the children use it ♪
♪ Let all the children boogie. ♪
Shh!