The Simpsons (1989–…): Season 26, Episode 11 - Bart's New Friend - full transcript
Homer is hypnotized into believing he's ten years old and ends up stuck in his new age when the hypnotist dies, so he bonds with Bart and refuses to take back the responsibilities of adulthood.
(exclaiming)
(school bell ringing)
(Barney belches)
(tires screeching)
D'oh!
(tires screeching)
(grunts)
(all gasp)
(yelling)
(thudding and clattering)
(growling)
♪ Walking down
the down corridor ♪
♪ Using both my feet
♪ Wish I was in Floridor
♪ Now I will repeat
♪ Oh, I'm walking
down the corridor ♪
♪ Using both my feet.
Hmm?
Don Bookner.
Can't believe you're retiring.
Yup, it's time
for the gold watch.
Thank you.
You're free to go.
(clocks ticking)
Good old Don.
We sure will
miss your...
your, um, uh...
What did you
do again?
Safety inspector, 7-G.
But wait a minute.
That's my job.
Yes, of course it is.
There are two of us,
and I've been covering for you
all these years.
That would explain a lot.
But why did you do it?
I felt there was
something special in you.
It's like rooting
for the Cubs.
You keep thinking
they'll make it,
and then you realize
they never, ever will.
(whimpers)
But now, you won't have me
to protect you.
Oh, please.
All I'm asking you to do
is stay 21 more years.
Too late. I'm gone.
If I was Fred Flintstone,
I'd be at the end
of the dinosaur's tail.
♪ For he's a jolly good fellow
♪ For he's a jolly
good fellow ♪
♪ For he's a jolly
good fellow... ♪
(gasps)
♪ Which nobody can deny.
Last time I'm covering
your ass, Homer.
(whimpering):
Oh, it's such a big ass.
(tires screeching)
(sighs)
How was your day?
Oh, stressful.
You see how loose my tie is?
Mah!
For the first time,
I actually have
to do my job!
Oh, sweetie.
(groans)
And, Marge, I got this weird
new feeling in my stomach--
a little sour
and a little sick.
There's a Yiddish word
for it-- shpilkes.
They have a lot of funny words
for not so funny things.
(crow caws)
Hey, Homer,
Carl and I are gonna see
if we can sneak out
of the men's room
without setting off
the automatic toilets.
Ninja-style.
Look,
I don't have time
for childish games.
If I don't do my job,
atoms go boom.
Simpson, I want a full
plant status report at 5:00.
Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Can I
get a 4:55 wakeup call?
No!
Oh.
(toilet flushing)
Damn it!
(birds singing)
I thought we weren't allowed
to do homework at the table.
It's called
a double standard,
one of the bedrocks
of parenting?
You've been working so hard
lately.
Maybe you should take a break.
No. Marge, if I lose my job
in this economy,
it's a death sentence.
Well, I guess as a fallback,
I could direct films,
like Angelina Jolie.
How many properties
do we have an option on?
None.
What?! When were you
gonna tell me?!
Uh, uh...
When?
(keyboard keys clicking)
Homie,
a workaholic is probably
your best aholic ever,
but you need to relax,
so, I got us all tickets to
see the circus on Saturday.
The circus? Hmm.
I haven't been to the circus
since I was a kid.
♪
(yelling, thudding,
crowd gasping)
Son, look over there.
(trumpeting)
Uh, I mean look over there.
Ten bucks a cone?!
Look back at the elephant.
(laughs)
Okay, Marge, we can go
to the circus.
And maybe I can finally find out
why a man would think
a stool is a proper defense
against a lion.
Damn it! This circus
Wi-Fi is a joke!
Oh, come on!
I thought you were going
to try to relax.
How can anyone relax when they
made us park in stacked parking?
I knew he wasn't gonna
like the stacked parking.
What kind of insane
parking system is designed
so you're blocked in by everyone
that arrived after you?
(clack)
The early bird gets the shaft!
Shh!
Shh!
♪
(cheering and crowd chatter)
Oh, my God.
What if all those clowns are
parked in the same lot as us?!
Maybe there's better
Wi-Fi in the freak tent.
Mah. Excuse me.
Pardon me.
(phone ringing)
What the hell?!
Oh, finally.
The business call
I've been waiting for.
Hello, this... (groans)
Come on, kids.
There's nothing you'd
be interested in here.
(snapping)
Uh, uh... Hey!
Hey, uh... they'll
grow back.
Oh, Homer, I have
to use the... Porta Potti.
Oh, for gah... Now?
Do you have to?
No woman uses
one of these by choice.
(groaning)
Hey, Dad, since
we got to wait,
can't we please
see an act?
Ugh. Fine, but I'll be amazed
if I'm astounded.
Thereby proving
Zorn's Lemma.
Give me my damn
husband back!
Dang, look at all them
hobo signs!
My head bone hurts. Aah.
(applause and chatter)
I need a new volunteer.
How about you, sir?
(gasps)
Hey, is that time right?
I have a deadline
in an hour and a half.
You know, Dad,
studies show
being hypnotized
makes you more efficient.
Mm, oh, okay.
Is that true?
Mah. I just wanted to see him
cluck like a chicken. (laughs)
Now, we've never
met, have we, sir?
Ooh, patter.
Do you have
any children?
No, but we're
having fun trying.
(laughs)
Wait. I mean three.
When I snap my fingers,
you shall be
ten years old.
Look, can we get
to the point?
I'm stack parked.
Did you hear me? Stack...
You are ten years old!
No, I'm not.
Yes, you are.
No, I'm not.
Yes, you are.
No, I'm not.
Yes, you are!
Yes, you are.
No, yes, yes,
you are.
Yes, you are.
Look, I said you are.
Yeah, and you are, too.
Only a ten-year-old boy
could be this annoying!
(applause, gasping,
crowd chatter)
I'm not convinced.
I know you are,
but what am I?
Infinity plus one. Jinx!
Only the coolest kid ever
could think of that.
Good golly, Sven Golly,
you did it!
Sven Golly,
born Svenjamin Golly,
you are under arrest
for mesmerizing
the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame
to induct Kiss.
You are wanted by the police,
by which I mean Sting,
Andy Summers, uh...
Hey, is it...
Is is getting hot in here?
Oh, not again.
Mom, Dad's been hypnotized
to think he was ten.
Ah.
(gasps)
Hmm.
(rhythmic thudding)
Now I'm gonna test
just how deeply
Homer's mind has been effected.
Take a sip of this,
young man.
(coughing)
Ew! Gross!
What did you give him?
Beer.
(all gasp)
This hypnotism is strong.
Dinner theater strong.
My husband can't really
think he's ten.
I'm saying, he so desperately
needs to believe he's ten,
that only the original hypnotist
who did this can undo the trance
without risking permanent
damage to Homer's psyche.
(laughs)
(in high-pitched voice):
Hey, oh, help me!
Dear God.
Psych!
Oops.
So, what do we do?
Do not force the truth.
For now, just treat Homer
just as you would
a regular ten-year-old boy.
Can he be nine
so I can beat him up?
No, I'm afraid not.
The rules of hypnotism
are inflexible.
Then can we
get pizza on
the way home?
Ask for boogers
on Bart's half.
(laughs)
Good one.
Booger pizza.
You better pray they find
that hypnotist, Marge.
HOMER:
Get the ball, boy! Come on.
(squeaking)
Go get it, boy!
(barking)
Go get it, boy.
(whines)
Go get it, boy!
(snarls, barking)
Hey! Ow! Ow!
I thought you were
my best friend.
(barking)
Ooh! Ow-Ow!
So, where is he
gonna sleep?
Well, I guess it'll have
to be in Bart's room.
Oh. And I thought when Homer
cut off his thumb was bad.
Um, Mrs. Simpson?
Aah!
(laughing)
MARGE:
Oh!
(snoring)
(snoring)
(groans)
Hey? What? Who?
Homer, can't you sleep with Mom?
I'd be too nervous.
Have you noticed
that she's kind of hot?
Gross! Weird!
Complicated!
Go to sleep.
(grumbles)
I really do miss my Homie
this time of night.
Hmm.
Hmm. Hmm.
Mm-hmm.
We're gonna have a lot
of mittens this winter.
(birds singing)
Aw, if I'm gonna get
through this day,
I better Irish up my coffee.
I'm ready to go to school.
Homer, you're not
going to school.
I'm not? Cool!
Am I sick?
'Cause if I'm sick, I get
to stay home and make s'mores.
All I need is graham
crackers, chocolate,
marshmallows, sticks, fire...
Did I say graham crackers?
Chocolate, marshmallows,
sticks, fire...
Oops! My homework.
Fine, you can
go to school.
Yo, this is tunnel tag.
When you're tagged, you have to
spread your legs and freeze.
Guess I chose the wrong day
to wear culottes.
Every day's the wrong
day to wear culottes.
You're it!
(kids laughing, clamoring)
(kids gasp)
Can I play?
Oh, God, no.
If Milhouse can play,
anyone can play.
Once again, I'm the lower bound.
You're it!
(kids laughing, clamoring)
Is that a grown man
going between
the children's legs?
Well, there's nothing in
the rule book against it.
It's on page one
of the rule book!
That's where I doodle.
It's a comic strip I do called
Bumble and Grumble.
Grumble likes to yell,
but deep down he loves
Bumble like a son.
No, he doesn't.
HOMER:
I'm beat.
(yawns)
Today was fun.
Yeah.
Listen, Homer, do
you ever think about
what you want to do
when you're grown up?
I'll eat in bed.
Not just snacks,
messy stuff like lasagna.
Oh, and the TV would be on.
Loud.
Hey, would you ever want to
have a real job and a family?
(scoffs)
Wife? Three kids? Steady job?
If I did,
I'd secretly be very sad.
You could tell by how much
I would eat and drink
and just sit on the couch.
(gasps)
Yeah, thank God
that never happened.
(snoring)
Wow.
He doesn't want to be my dad, he
just wants to be a kid like me.
Almost makes me
not want to prank him.
Almost.
(grunting)
(snoring)
Touché.
(kids grunting)
If you wedgie me,
my friend will beat you up.
That's not your friend,
it's your screwed-up dad.
Pretty sad, really.
We'll leave you alone.
You did it, Homer!
You saved me
from the bullies!
You're the coolest kid
I ever met.
What about me?
You're in the top hundred.
Boo-yah!
Now you're not.
(groans):
Oh.
(laughter)
(confused grunts)
(laughter)
(Homer yells, Bart screams)
(groans)
HOMER:
Uh, Lisa,
your ma says I should
do something with you.
Need some help
with your homework?
I'm done.
Want to see me
make a muscle?
Mm, not right now.
Well, that's everything
I know that girls like.
Listen, Homer,
I just want to take advantage
of this opportunity
to have you enjoy my saxophone
with me.
Okay.
(saxophone playing
"Baker Street")
(vocalizing along)
Ah, thank God they pulled
that other safety inspector
out of retirement.
(Homer continues vocalizing)
You know,
you're the closest thing
I've ever had to a brother.
Me, too.
You know what?
I'm afraid you
might change back.
Change back to what?
(sighs)
Look in the lake,
tell me what you see.
Bloated corpse under the water.
I'd say he's been there
a few months at least.
Interesting the way
his lips move just like mine.
Why do you ask?
Uh, no reason, brother.
(laughing)
(laughing)
(coughing)
(gurgling)
Geez, I hope
this is the call
I've been praying for.
It is. We have
captured Sven Golly,
using a specially dedicated
anti-hypnosis squad.
(bangs into car)
Well, bring him here now.
I want my Homie back.
I miss him
and the things he did.
Lis, you know how Dad thinks
he's a ten-year-old?
I've been emotionally dealing
with that all week, so yes.
Well, now that hypnotist
is gonna come back and
snap him out of it!
Look, Dad had
to get cured sometime.
There's nothing
we can do about it.
Or isn't there not?
WIGGUM:
All right, Sven Golly,
you're gonna untangle
this guy's noodle,
and that's it--
no more hypnotizing anyone.
You have my word...
Chief Kangaroo!
Boing, boing,
boing, boing, boing...
(groans)
(wind whistling)
(gasps)
They've run away!
Quick! Hypnotize me
into a...
a-a competent policeman!
I'm good, I'm
not that good.
Ha-ha.
♪
I wanted you to enjoy being
a kid just a little longer.
HOMER:
Whoo-hoo!
♪
HOMER:
Whoo... hoo-hoo-hoo!
(coughing)
(Bart and Homer coughing)
I do it all myself.
♪
(two gunshots)
♪
(people screaming)
(people clamoring)
We've returned
to Itchy & Scratchy Land,
which means you'll
have to pay again.
What do we do next?
What do we do next?
WIGGUM:
Homer Simpson!
Uh, your second
childhood is over.
You're going back to taking
statins and paying FICA.
No! You can't
take him now.
We've only been
on two rides.
You should've used
Fastpass.
Fastpass can't solve everything.
Eh, spoken like a kid
who's never lived
in a non-Fastpass world.
Homer, I'm here.
♪
Bye, Bart.
Stay ten forever.
Good-bye, friend.
Hmm...
Before you fix him,
can you change one little thing?
(quietly):
I'm embarrassed
to ask this,
but after we,
uh, snuggle,
he always rolls over
and goes to sleep,
and I'd rather just...
(whispering indistinctly)
That's the only thing
you want changed?
Everything else
about him is perfect?
Yes.
Ugh, where were you
when I was straight?
All right, let's do this.
(whispers):
Cuddle your wife.
You are back!
Parked! I hate
stacked parking!
Wait, where am I?
This isn't a circus.
It's an amusement park.
The furthest thing
from a circus.
Well, here's
what happened.
Marge, sweetie,
I'm not gonna lie.
I must've tied
one on at Moe's.
If you have it in your heart,
could you forgive me
and totally blame
my friends?
Homie, I've missed you.
Ooh-hoo-hoo!
I missed you, too.
♪
(tires screech)
(tired sigh)
(The Itchy & Scratchy Show
theme song playing on TV)
♪
What the...?
Lasagna in bed?
Recommended by a kid
I used to know.
You know, I used
to have this friend.
I told him all my dreams.
Really, really great kid.
You think so?
The best.
Wonder whatever happened to him?
maybe you sat on him and
he was never seen again.
Why, you little...!
Ooh. You know, boy,
I'm not sure I can
strangle you anymore.
I'm gonna try
something new.
(strained grunt)
What do you say, boy,
want to split the lasagna?
Get lost.
Why, you little...!
(moaning, kissing)
Oh... so good
to have you back.
(yawns)
It's great to be back.
(yawns)
(grumbles)
Hmm.
Can we cuddle
for a little while?
(gasps)
Thank you, Sven Golly.
I knitted us a blanket.
Mm...
You can find them
for, like, six bucks.
♪
Check and mate.
Once again you're too
smart for me, my friend.
That's why I'm
the master hypnotist
and you're the bumbling
police chief.
Exactly so, Sven Golly.
Exactly so.
See you tomorrow?
Yes,
I might be a little late.
That Chief Wiggum,
what a dope!
(gasps) Loki!
Shh!
(school bell ringing)
(Barney belches)
(tires screeching)
D'oh!
(tires screeching)
(grunts)
(all gasp)
(yelling)
(thudding and clattering)
(growling)
♪ Walking down
the down corridor ♪
♪ Using both my feet
♪ Wish I was in Floridor
♪ Now I will repeat
♪ Oh, I'm walking
down the corridor ♪
♪ Using both my feet.
Hmm?
Don Bookner.
Can't believe you're retiring.
Yup, it's time
for the gold watch.
Thank you.
You're free to go.
(clocks ticking)
Good old Don.
We sure will
miss your...
your, um, uh...
What did you
do again?
Safety inspector, 7-G.
But wait a minute.
That's my job.
Yes, of course it is.
There are two of us,
and I've been covering for you
all these years.
That would explain a lot.
But why did you do it?
I felt there was
something special in you.
It's like rooting
for the Cubs.
You keep thinking
they'll make it,
and then you realize
they never, ever will.
(whimpers)
But now, you won't have me
to protect you.
Oh, please.
All I'm asking you to do
is stay 21 more years.
Too late. I'm gone.
If I was Fred Flintstone,
I'd be at the end
of the dinosaur's tail.
♪ For he's a jolly good fellow
♪ For he's a jolly
good fellow ♪
♪ For he's a jolly
good fellow... ♪
(gasps)
♪ Which nobody can deny.
Last time I'm covering
your ass, Homer.
(whimpering):
Oh, it's such a big ass.
(tires screeching)
(sighs)
How was your day?
Oh, stressful.
You see how loose my tie is?
Mah!
For the first time,
I actually have
to do my job!
Oh, sweetie.
(groans)
And, Marge, I got this weird
new feeling in my stomach--
a little sour
and a little sick.
There's a Yiddish word
for it-- shpilkes.
They have a lot of funny words
for not so funny things.
(crow caws)
Hey, Homer,
Carl and I are gonna see
if we can sneak out
of the men's room
without setting off
the automatic toilets.
Ninja-style.
Look,
I don't have time
for childish games.
If I don't do my job,
atoms go boom.
Simpson, I want a full
plant status report at 5:00.
Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Can I
get a 4:55 wakeup call?
No!
Oh.
(toilet flushing)
Damn it!
(birds singing)
I thought we weren't allowed
to do homework at the table.
It's called
a double standard,
one of the bedrocks
of parenting?
You've been working so hard
lately.
Maybe you should take a break.
No. Marge, if I lose my job
in this economy,
it's a death sentence.
Well, I guess as a fallback,
I could direct films,
like Angelina Jolie.
How many properties
do we have an option on?
None.
What?! When were you
gonna tell me?!
Uh, uh...
When?
(keyboard keys clicking)
Homie,
a workaholic is probably
your best aholic ever,
but you need to relax,
so, I got us all tickets to
see the circus on Saturday.
The circus? Hmm.
I haven't been to the circus
since I was a kid.
♪
(yelling, thudding,
crowd gasping)
Son, look over there.
(trumpeting)
Uh, I mean look over there.
Ten bucks a cone?!
Look back at the elephant.
(laughs)
Okay, Marge, we can go
to the circus.
And maybe I can finally find out
why a man would think
a stool is a proper defense
against a lion.
Damn it! This circus
Wi-Fi is a joke!
Oh, come on!
I thought you were going
to try to relax.
How can anyone relax when they
made us park in stacked parking?
I knew he wasn't gonna
like the stacked parking.
What kind of insane
parking system is designed
so you're blocked in by everyone
that arrived after you?
(clack)
The early bird gets the shaft!
Shh!
Shh!
♪
(cheering and crowd chatter)
Oh, my God.
What if all those clowns are
parked in the same lot as us?!
Maybe there's better
Wi-Fi in the freak tent.
Mah. Excuse me.
Pardon me.
(phone ringing)
What the hell?!
Oh, finally.
The business call
I've been waiting for.
Hello, this... (groans)
Come on, kids.
There's nothing you'd
be interested in here.
(snapping)
Uh, uh... Hey!
Hey, uh... they'll
grow back.
Oh, Homer, I have
to use the... Porta Potti.
Oh, for gah... Now?
Do you have to?
No woman uses
one of these by choice.
(groaning)
Hey, Dad, since
we got to wait,
can't we please
see an act?
Ugh. Fine, but I'll be amazed
if I'm astounded.
Thereby proving
Zorn's Lemma.
Give me my damn
husband back!
Dang, look at all them
hobo signs!
My head bone hurts. Aah.
(applause and chatter)
I need a new volunteer.
How about you, sir?
(gasps)
Hey, is that time right?
I have a deadline
in an hour and a half.
You know, Dad,
studies show
being hypnotized
makes you more efficient.
Mm, oh, okay.
Is that true?
Mah. I just wanted to see him
cluck like a chicken. (laughs)
Now, we've never
met, have we, sir?
Ooh, patter.
Do you have
any children?
No, but we're
having fun trying.
(laughs)
Wait. I mean three.
When I snap my fingers,
you shall be
ten years old.
Look, can we get
to the point?
I'm stack parked.
Did you hear me? Stack...
You are ten years old!
No, I'm not.
Yes, you are.
No, I'm not.
Yes, you are.
No, I'm not.
Yes, you are!
Yes, you are.
No, yes, yes,
you are.
Yes, you are.
Look, I said you are.
Yeah, and you are, too.
Only a ten-year-old boy
could be this annoying!
(applause, gasping,
crowd chatter)
I'm not convinced.
I know you are,
but what am I?
Infinity plus one. Jinx!
Only the coolest kid ever
could think of that.
Good golly, Sven Golly,
you did it!
Sven Golly,
born Svenjamin Golly,
you are under arrest
for mesmerizing
the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame
to induct Kiss.
You are wanted by the police,
by which I mean Sting,
Andy Summers, uh...
Hey, is it...
Is is getting hot in here?
Oh, not again.
Mom, Dad's been hypnotized
to think he was ten.
Ah.
(gasps)
Hmm.
(rhythmic thudding)
Now I'm gonna test
just how deeply
Homer's mind has been effected.
Take a sip of this,
young man.
(coughing)
Ew! Gross!
What did you give him?
Beer.
(all gasp)
This hypnotism is strong.
Dinner theater strong.
My husband can't really
think he's ten.
I'm saying, he so desperately
needs to believe he's ten,
that only the original hypnotist
who did this can undo the trance
without risking permanent
damage to Homer's psyche.
(laughs)
(in high-pitched voice):
Hey, oh, help me!
Dear God.
Psych!
Oops.
So, what do we do?
Do not force the truth.
For now, just treat Homer
just as you would
a regular ten-year-old boy.
Can he be nine
so I can beat him up?
No, I'm afraid not.
The rules of hypnotism
are inflexible.
Then can we
get pizza on
the way home?
Ask for boogers
on Bart's half.
(laughs)
Good one.
Booger pizza.
You better pray they find
that hypnotist, Marge.
HOMER:
Get the ball, boy! Come on.
(squeaking)
Go get it, boy!
(barking)
Go get it, boy.
(whines)
Go get it, boy!
(snarls, barking)
Hey! Ow! Ow!
I thought you were
my best friend.
(barking)
Ooh! Ow-Ow!
So, where is he
gonna sleep?
Well, I guess it'll have
to be in Bart's room.
Oh. And I thought when Homer
cut off his thumb was bad.
Um, Mrs. Simpson?
Aah!
(laughing)
MARGE:
Oh!
(snoring)
(snoring)
(groans)
Hey? What? Who?
Homer, can't you sleep with Mom?
I'd be too nervous.
Have you noticed
that she's kind of hot?
Gross! Weird!
Complicated!
Go to sleep.
(grumbles)
I really do miss my Homie
this time of night.
Hmm.
Hmm. Hmm.
Mm-hmm.
We're gonna have a lot
of mittens this winter.
(birds singing)
Aw, if I'm gonna get
through this day,
I better Irish up my coffee.
I'm ready to go to school.
Homer, you're not
going to school.
I'm not? Cool!
Am I sick?
'Cause if I'm sick, I get
to stay home and make s'mores.
All I need is graham
crackers, chocolate,
marshmallows, sticks, fire...
Did I say graham crackers?
Chocolate, marshmallows,
sticks, fire...
Oops! My homework.
Fine, you can
go to school.
Yo, this is tunnel tag.
When you're tagged, you have to
spread your legs and freeze.
Guess I chose the wrong day
to wear culottes.
Every day's the wrong
day to wear culottes.
You're it!
(kids laughing, clamoring)
(kids gasp)
Can I play?
Oh, God, no.
If Milhouse can play,
anyone can play.
Once again, I'm the lower bound.
You're it!
(kids laughing, clamoring)
Is that a grown man
going between
the children's legs?
Well, there's nothing in
the rule book against it.
It's on page one
of the rule book!
That's where I doodle.
It's a comic strip I do called
Bumble and Grumble.
Grumble likes to yell,
but deep down he loves
Bumble like a son.
No, he doesn't.
HOMER:
I'm beat.
(yawns)
Today was fun.
Yeah.
Listen, Homer, do
you ever think about
what you want to do
when you're grown up?
I'll eat in bed.
Not just snacks,
messy stuff like lasagna.
Oh, and the TV would be on.
Loud.
Hey, would you ever want to
have a real job and a family?
(scoffs)
Wife? Three kids? Steady job?
If I did,
I'd secretly be very sad.
You could tell by how much
I would eat and drink
and just sit on the couch.
(gasps)
Yeah, thank God
that never happened.
(snoring)
Wow.
He doesn't want to be my dad, he
just wants to be a kid like me.
Almost makes me
not want to prank him.
Almost.
(grunting)
(snoring)
Touché.
(kids grunting)
If you wedgie me,
my friend will beat you up.
That's not your friend,
it's your screwed-up dad.
Pretty sad, really.
We'll leave you alone.
You did it, Homer!
You saved me
from the bullies!
You're the coolest kid
I ever met.
What about me?
You're in the top hundred.
Boo-yah!
Now you're not.
(groans):
Oh.
(laughter)
(confused grunts)
(laughter)
(Homer yells, Bart screams)
(groans)
HOMER:
Uh, Lisa,
your ma says I should
do something with you.
Need some help
with your homework?
I'm done.
Want to see me
make a muscle?
Mm, not right now.
Well, that's everything
I know that girls like.
Listen, Homer,
I just want to take advantage
of this opportunity
to have you enjoy my saxophone
with me.
Okay.
(saxophone playing
"Baker Street")
(vocalizing along)
Ah, thank God they pulled
that other safety inspector
out of retirement.
(Homer continues vocalizing)
You know,
you're the closest thing
I've ever had to a brother.
Me, too.
You know what?
I'm afraid you
might change back.
Change back to what?
(sighs)
Look in the lake,
tell me what you see.
Bloated corpse under the water.
I'd say he's been there
a few months at least.
Interesting the way
his lips move just like mine.
Why do you ask?
Uh, no reason, brother.
(laughing)
(laughing)
(coughing)
(gurgling)
Geez, I hope
this is the call
I've been praying for.
It is. We have
captured Sven Golly,
using a specially dedicated
anti-hypnosis squad.
(bangs into car)
Well, bring him here now.
I want my Homie back.
I miss him
and the things he did.
Lis, you know how Dad thinks
he's a ten-year-old?
I've been emotionally dealing
with that all week, so yes.
Well, now that hypnotist
is gonna come back and
snap him out of it!
Look, Dad had
to get cured sometime.
There's nothing
we can do about it.
Or isn't there not?
WIGGUM:
All right, Sven Golly,
you're gonna untangle
this guy's noodle,
and that's it--
no more hypnotizing anyone.
You have my word...
Chief Kangaroo!
Boing, boing,
boing, boing, boing...
(groans)
(wind whistling)
(gasps)
They've run away!
Quick! Hypnotize me
into a...
a-a competent policeman!
I'm good, I'm
not that good.
Ha-ha.
♪
I wanted you to enjoy being
a kid just a little longer.
HOMER:
Whoo-hoo!
♪
HOMER:
Whoo... hoo-hoo-hoo!
(coughing)
(Bart and Homer coughing)
I do it all myself.
♪
(two gunshots)
♪
(people screaming)
(people clamoring)
We've returned
to Itchy & Scratchy Land,
which means you'll
have to pay again.
What do we do next?
What do we do next?
WIGGUM:
Homer Simpson!
Uh, your second
childhood is over.
You're going back to taking
statins and paying FICA.
No! You can't
take him now.
We've only been
on two rides.
You should've used
Fastpass.
Fastpass can't solve everything.
Eh, spoken like a kid
who's never lived
in a non-Fastpass world.
Homer, I'm here.
♪
Bye, Bart.
Stay ten forever.
Good-bye, friend.
Hmm...
Before you fix him,
can you change one little thing?
(quietly):
I'm embarrassed
to ask this,
but after we,
uh, snuggle,
he always rolls over
and goes to sleep,
and I'd rather just...
(whispering indistinctly)
That's the only thing
you want changed?
Everything else
about him is perfect?
Yes.
Ugh, where were you
when I was straight?
All right, let's do this.
(whispers):
Cuddle your wife.
You are back!
Parked! I hate
stacked parking!
Wait, where am I?
This isn't a circus.
It's an amusement park.
The furthest thing
from a circus.
Well, here's
what happened.
Marge, sweetie,
I'm not gonna lie.
I must've tied
one on at Moe's.
If you have it in your heart,
could you forgive me
and totally blame
my friends?
Homie, I've missed you.
Ooh-hoo-hoo!
I missed you, too.
♪
(tires screech)
(tired sigh)
(The Itchy & Scratchy Show
theme song playing on TV)
♪
What the...?
Lasagna in bed?
Recommended by a kid
I used to know.
You know, I used
to have this friend.
I told him all my dreams.
Really, really great kid.
You think so?
The best.
Wonder whatever happened to him?
maybe you sat on him and
he was never seen again.
Why, you little...!
Ooh. You know, boy,
I'm not sure I can
strangle you anymore.
I'm gonna try
something new.
(strained grunt)
What do you say, boy,
want to split the lasagna?
Get lost.
Why, you little...!
(moaning, kissing)
Oh... so good
to have you back.
(yawns)
It's great to be back.
(yawns)
(grumbles)
Hmm.
Can we cuddle
for a little while?
(gasps)
Thank you, Sven Golly.
I knitted us a blanket.
Mm...
You can find them
for, like, six bucks.
♪
Check and mate.
Once again you're too
smart for me, my friend.
That's why I'm
the master hypnotist
and you're the bumbling
police chief.
Exactly so, Sven Golly.
Exactly so.
See you tomorrow?
Yes,
I might be a little late.
That Chief Wiggum,
what a dope!
(gasps) Loki!
Shh!