The Simpsons (1989–…): Season 25, Episode 3 - Four Regrettings and a Funeral - full transcript
While attending a funeral, Homer, Marge, Mr. Burns, and Kent Brockman recall a past regret and try to find a way to rectify the situation.
D'oh!
S-So lonely.
No sex
without a ring.
Damn it!
Mm.
What the...?! Hey, whoa!
What about us, man?
Get your own couch.
Poor Chip. Such a big part
of everyone's life.
People called him
the "sixth Simpson."
I'm not sure why.
Chip did such a wonderful job
with my biography.
Chip was the life of Sector 6-F
at the nuclear plant,
but Chip once confessed to me
he did have a few regrets.
Chip regretted never ascending Mount
Springfield from the south face.
He regretted that the high school long
jump record he set was wind-aided.
He often spoke of that asterisk.
He never broke par on hole 17
at Springfield Mini Golf.
Let us pray.
Eh, everyone has regrets.
- Not me.
- You?
Your marriage is a dead fish floating
in a tank of stale beer.
Your baby's addicted
to pacifiers.
And your son is
out of control.
Let us kneel.
Ow! My knees!
40 years of healing, gone!
He's such a little dickens.
Although Dickens
was pretty well behaved.
He's been screwed up since the moment
Homer's DNA staggered into your womb.
I have no regrets about that.
It was a perfect pregnancy.
Didn't smoke, didn't drink,
lost three pounds.
And every night before bed,
Homer would give me a little kiss...
music!
Could Bart have been prenatally
screwed up by the KISS music?
♪ Get up! Everybody's
gonna move their feet ♪
♪ Get down! Everybody's
gonna leave their seats ♪
♪ You got to lose your mind
in Detroit Rock City. ♪
Huh?
Man, this is the weirdest
pregnancy craving ever.
Well, for some reason
it relaxes me.
Now, do that thing
Gene Simmons does.
Overstay my welcome
for 40 years?
Regrets, eh?
This local newsman's had a few.
Covering a town
of backwater rubes
who, for some reason,
hate my guts.
This is Kent Brockman...
live at the Springfield
Peach Parade.
Sir, could you give us
eight seconds of your
homespun wisdom?
It's a little-known fact that you
can get head lice from peaches.
Uh, this is my
daughter Peaches.
We'll have more regrets
at 11:00 tonight
following an all-new
bottle of scotch.
You have regrets, Mr. "I
Get to See the Weathergirl From the Side"!
I made the worst financial
decision of all time.
Oh, I can't think about it.
I won't think about it.
I don't want to think about it!
Oh, I'm thinking about it!
Mm...
Hmm.
Huh?
Oh... that's the coolest
bowling ball I've ever seen.
Hello, Bear Stearns?
I'd like to sell all my Apple stock...
...so I can buy
a fancy bowling ball.
You heard me.
Technology is a fad.
Heavy, black balls
are the future.
Now let us text on our ubiquitous
Apple tablets and phones.
Oh, you cost me a
piece of all that!
Oh, don't cry.
If it makes you
feel worse,
I'm the man who bought
the stock you sold.
I'll bet a rich man like you
has no regrets at all.
Just one.
The girl that got away.
She broke my first heart.
So, is there truly anyone
among us without regrets?
I have no regrets.
Really, Mother?
Oh, I didn't
see you there.
- I'm Father O'Greedy.
- Dimes for the needy.
Milhouse, are you the bottom
half of that mischief?
Uh... uh... uh...
Oh, my.
My pants, like the Lord,
work in mysterious ways.
Return those vestments.
Speaking of return on investments,
my Apple stock is up 3,500%.
Aw, you misheard that
on purpose!
Tithe denied!
Tithe denied!
Mm. Must find way...
to blame myself.
Um, it says I should
give you lumbar support.
Better go to
the lumber yard.
"Lum- bar."
It means "lower back."
How many times
will you make that mistake?
Just put on
the KISS record.
- Which one?
- Anything from Love Gun.
Hey, book,
are you expecting this?
And while I'm at it...
Burn, dumb, helpful books.
That is a good fire.
You're going down, Bart!
- Ah, reckless youth.
- He'll be okay.
I was referring to him.
I had a spring in my
step like that once.
Back when I met Lilah.
Lilah ran a little crepe stand
in the seventh arrondissement.
Oh, Monty,
looking at you, I could lie
in this unheated garret forever.
There's heat.
I just don't turn it on.
Seeing you there, in the sweet
light of Paris between the wars,
there's a question I must pose.
I have something for you.
Oh! Not that.
Wrong box. Lilah,
will you take that big step
from cousin to wife?
Oh, Monty, you must
promise me one thing.
Anything she wanted
I was willing to do.
Anything, except...
All I ask is that you set aside five
minutes a day to think of others.
When you say "others,"
could they be bars of gold?
I shall find another
husband as good as you are evil.
No one's that good.
All I have left is my drawing.
Hm. It looked a lot better
in my memory.
Uh, but you know what, Smithers?
I will find Lilah and win her back.
I'll just check
with the old gang.
Hemingway!
Picasso.
Matador Juan Belmonte.
And Stalin.
That man could really
put pressure on you.
Hello, Kent.
Well, well, well.
Rachel Maddow.
Everyone came back
for Chip's funeral.
I was flying from DC to New York
and, of course,
I had the layover in Springfield.
How's the gang at Channel 6?
Look, let's get this
out of the way--
just because we
both worked at Channel 6
and you made it big and
I didn't doesn't mean I'm bitter.
Um, Is that your car?
Maybe.
Kent, I'm gonna tell you the most
important mistake you ever made...
...after this break.
So, Kent, that
mistake you made,
that fundamental, life-changing error,
that cosmic fail, that...
Just tell me already!
After this break.
You could have come with me,
but you were suckling the dual teats
of infotainment
and celebrifawning.
So, tell us about
your new movie.
It's fantastic.
The studio let us play
in their sandbox.
- Great. We have a clip.
- No! No, don't show it.
There aren't five good seconds
in the whole film.
I'm not a newsman anymore,
I'm a geologist.
I keep discovering
a new rock bottom.
Kent, I think I found my
ticket out of this town.
Or at least to a
better Springfield.
You two newshounds working on a story?
How about this?
Mario's down the street
found a rat in their pasta.
- When did that happen?
- Whenever you want. Eh?
Rachel, can I come?
We can share blazers.
Just follow me.
At Mario's, the picture of Sinatra on
the wall is signed by Frank Junior.
The frame hides the "Junior"!
Someone's been dumping tires
in the forest.
Willikers! In my three years of soft news,
I've never seen anything like this.
Those are tires from my
ill-fated Krusty Town Car.
It would explode if people
gripped the wheel too tightly.
What a scoop!
You're not telling no one.
As the 4:00 p.m. clown, I have complete
control of the Channel 6 news division.
Local news is a joke.
I'm going to cable.
Cable news!
Bah! People only want news
at 6:00 p.m.
from white guys on weekdays
and black guys on weekends.
We'll see about that.
Yes, we shall see.
About that, things will be seen.
By us.
Kent, you coming?
He ain't comin'.
This little piggy's afraid to leave
his cushy anchorman slop trough.
Could you, uh, phrase that
a little more nicely?
Sorry. He "isn't" coming.
You'll regret this, Kent.
When I have my own show
and you're stuck here...
...tracking Santa's flight
from the North Pole.
"Oh, look, he's
over Greenland!"
Don't worry, piggy,
you made the right choice.
Eh, it'll burn out
in an hour or so.
Look, Burns,
I've got the dope
on your sweetie.
She's still alive, and she just got
over being mad at you last week.
Lilah's alive?
Yeah, well, uh, she's
alive, but she's a nun.
Married to Jesus, eh?
Does he beat her?
Jesus? No, he's a real
Eagle Scout, that one.
But your penguin's
not a Catholic, she's
a Buddhist nun--
spent her life expressing her
sexuality with a Zen garden.
Those raked rocks
could have been me.
Now, since you're so good at
finding things, find the exit.
There is the little
matter of my fee.
You're becoming very tiresome.
Who moved my desk?!
Well, here I am.
Cable news alley.
Fox News. Is this really how I want
to get back in the big leagues?
Let's see how
print journalism is doing.
Sir, do you sell
The New York Times?
Sir, we are
The New York Times.
And in I go.
Why are you doing this, Bart?
50% attention-seeking,
50% to drop things on people.
He's gonna visit
my sky granny.
To work at Fox News,
all you have to be able to do...
...is operate this device.
Now, when a Republican
is in trouble...
At the time,
I didn't know it was illegal
to sex up a cow
on the Capitol steps.
...we simply do this.
Now you try.
Sorry, but I just discovered
I have some scruples.
I'm going back to my
sweet little town
where I can decide what news is.
Like a god.
We've had some good times.
♪ Memories
♪ Rest between the pages
of my mind ♪
♪ Memories
♪ See me through the ages
just like wine... ♪
And you sat on the gas pedal
when my foot fell asleep,
so I'm getting you
shined up nice.
What the...?
Oh!
That's a ball-proof
window, sir.
Would you like me to ask Siri
for a nearby hospital?
I'm sorry, I don't see
any "hops petals" near you.
Deleting all
contact information.
No, no, I didn't ask you
to do that, Siri. I...
Delete confirmed.
Oh. Okay, Bart, be cool.
Calm down, you're not
gonna die up here.
Aw...
D'oh!
Oh, Monty, I can't
believe you found me
after all these years.
I've saved myself for you.
Well, then, uh...
I should disrobe at once.
Housekeeping? Send up a
Chinese dressing screen
and one of Firestone's finest
vulcanized prophylactics.
Be right back.
Smithers? Which do I take first,
the rhino horn or the tiger tongue?
I have my doubts
about both, sir.
Bah! I'll just do it the old-fashioned way.
With my pump.
Just powdering my nose, darling.
Smithers, run down
to Sears, Roebuck
and get a five-eighths-inch
Phillips head bolt.
Here I am, slowly dying
every day at 5:00, 6:00 and 11:00.
Help! Help!
Child in danger with exciting visuals!
This kid's corpse could be my magic carpet.
Get me a cameraman!
The movie Up has come horribly
to life over Springfield.
A local boy clings to life in a story
that proves this reporter's relevance.
Ay, caramba!
It's Bart!
Pray for a miracle, boy.
God can hear you better from up there.
Dear Lord, please
help me land safely.
Or transform this basket
into a flying killer robot
that I control
with my mind. Amen.
That's not a prayer.
My God says it is.
Oh, I see you're ice-cold
with anticipation.
Dead?
Oh, Lilah.
Even at the end,
I waited too long.
What if I give her
the breath of life?
Oh, boy. I guess one regret
just leads to another.
You know, sir, maybe it
would bring you peace
to honor the one thing
Lilah ever asked of you.
Here you are, my good man.
A little broth will cure your
mental illness.
Sir, that's five minutes. You can
stop thinking of other people now.
You know what, I think
I'll give it another five.
I'm proud of you, Monty.
I ain't eatin' that.
Chief, what are you
doing to save our son?
Well, I've placed marksmen on the roof
to shoot the balloons one by one,
but frankly
they're not very good.
Chief,
it happened again.
Aw, come on, guys,
spread out. Arm's length.
It's all my fault.
I should never have listened
to those KISS albums
when I was pregnant.
Marge, with all due respect,
that's ridiculous.
My Sarah listened to Mozart
and Churchill speeches
when she was pregnant
with Ralphie,
and he can't even
open a refrigerator.
- Pushing, always... always pushing.
- Really?
Oh, yeah.
That kid's a mess.
Hey! Only I get
to criticize him, Lou.
Kid's scared to flush.
Think's it's his brother.
Can we focus on my
son up in the sky?
Oh, I've got
a long-shot idea.
By which I mean firing a shot
over a long distance.
Yeah, you see, if we could fire an exactly
12-and-a-half-pound weight into the basket,
it would lower the boy
very gently to the ground.
Unfortunately, all our
cannonballs were melted down
to make a statue
of Joe Paterno,
which we changed
to look like Eugene Levy.
I think I just might have
what you're looking for.
Today I'm glad that
I sold that stock.
Uh, Apple closed up
another 20 points today.
Why does everyone know?
Because their terrific products
keep track of it for you.
And anything else
you could ever think of.
That kid's not
dying on my watch.
Which ends... right
now, fortunately.
Bart! Bart! Bart! Bart!
Bart! Bart!
Hey.
- Bart! Bart!
- Hmm.
Homer's rising faster
than Apple stock.
My boy's okay!
Bart! Bart! Bart!
I won the science fair!
I get to go to Chicago!
Bart! Bart! Bart!
Ugh. Bart, Bart, Bart.
You know what I think
about regrets?
As long as your family
is together,
every choice you've ever made
is the right one.
And together we are.
Would you guys knock it off?
He's down safe already.
Sorry, Chief,
that was me putting it down.
And there you have it--
a family reunited.
And a grateful nation gives
thanks for some solid reporting.
Back to you, Rachel Maddow.
Great job, Kent. I think we might
have an opening for you at MSNBC
between our weekend prison documentary
block and the two hours it takes
to make up Joe Scarborough
on Monday morning.
No, thanks, Rachel Maddow.
I'm happy right here.
No regrets.
Hah!
Shh!
S-So lonely.
No sex
without a ring.
Damn it!
Mm.
What the...?! Hey, whoa!
What about us, man?
Get your own couch.
Poor Chip. Such a big part
of everyone's life.
People called him
the "sixth Simpson."
I'm not sure why.
Chip did such a wonderful job
with my biography.
Chip was the life of Sector 6-F
at the nuclear plant,
but Chip once confessed to me
he did have a few regrets.
Chip regretted never ascending Mount
Springfield from the south face.
He regretted that the high school long
jump record he set was wind-aided.
He often spoke of that asterisk.
He never broke par on hole 17
at Springfield Mini Golf.
Let us pray.
Eh, everyone has regrets.
- Not me.
- You?
Your marriage is a dead fish floating
in a tank of stale beer.
Your baby's addicted
to pacifiers.
And your son is
out of control.
Let us kneel.
Ow! My knees!
40 years of healing, gone!
He's such a little dickens.
Although Dickens
was pretty well behaved.
He's been screwed up since the moment
Homer's DNA staggered into your womb.
I have no regrets about that.
It was a perfect pregnancy.
Didn't smoke, didn't drink,
lost three pounds.
And every night before bed,
Homer would give me a little kiss...
music!
Could Bart have been prenatally
screwed up by the KISS music?
♪ Get up! Everybody's
gonna move their feet ♪
♪ Get down! Everybody's
gonna leave their seats ♪
♪ You got to lose your mind
in Detroit Rock City. ♪
Huh?
Man, this is the weirdest
pregnancy craving ever.
Well, for some reason
it relaxes me.
Now, do that thing
Gene Simmons does.
Overstay my welcome
for 40 years?
Regrets, eh?
This local newsman's had a few.
Covering a town
of backwater rubes
who, for some reason,
hate my guts.
This is Kent Brockman...
live at the Springfield
Peach Parade.
Sir, could you give us
eight seconds of your
homespun wisdom?
It's a little-known fact that you
can get head lice from peaches.
Uh, this is my
daughter Peaches.
We'll have more regrets
at 11:00 tonight
following an all-new
bottle of scotch.
You have regrets, Mr. "I
Get to See the Weathergirl From the Side"!
I made the worst financial
decision of all time.
Oh, I can't think about it.
I won't think about it.
I don't want to think about it!
Oh, I'm thinking about it!
Mm...
Hmm.
Huh?
Oh... that's the coolest
bowling ball I've ever seen.
Hello, Bear Stearns?
I'd like to sell all my Apple stock...
...so I can buy
a fancy bowling ball.
You heard me.
Technology is a fad.
Heavy, black balls
are the future.
Now let us text on our ubiquitous
Apple tablets and phones.
Oh, you cost me a
piece of all that!
Oh, don't cry.
If it makes you
feel worse,
I'm the man who bought
the stock you sold.
I'll bet a rich man like you
has no regrets at all.
Just one.
The girl that got away.
She broke my first heart.
So, is there truly anyone
among us without regrets?
I have no regrets.
Really, Mother?
Oh, I didn't
see you there.
- I'm Father O'Greedy.
- Dimes for the needy.
Milhouse, are you the bottom
half of that mischief?
Uh... uh... uh...
Oh, my.
My pants, like the Lord,
work in mysterious ways.
Return those vestments.
Speaking of return on investments,
my Apple stock is up 3,500%.
Aw, you misheard that
on purpose!
Tithe denied!
Tithe denied!
Mm. Must find way...
to blame myself.
Um, it says I should
give you lumbar support.
Better go to
the lumber yard.
"Lum- bar."
It means "lower back."
How many times
will you make that mistake?
Just put on
the KISS record.
- Which one?
- Anything from Love Gun.
Hey, book,
are you expecting this?
And while I'm at it...
Burn, dumb, helpful books.
That is a good fire.
You're going down, Bart!
- Ah, reckless youth.
- He'll be okay.
I was referring to him.
I had a spring in my
step like that once.
Back when I met Lilah.
Lilah ran a little crepe stand
in the seventh arrondissement.
Oh, Monty,
looking at you, I could lie
in this unheated garret forever.
There's heat.
I just don't turn it on.
Seeing you there, in the sweet
light of Paris between the wars,
there's a question I must pose.
I have something for you.
Oh! Not that.
Wrong box. Lilah,
will you take that big step
from cousin to wife?
Oh, Monty, you must
promise me one thing.
Anything she wanted
I was willing to do.
Anything, except...
All I ask is that you set aside five
minutes a day to think of others.
When you say "others,"
could they be bars of gold?
I shall find another
husband as good as you are evil.
No one's that good.
All I have left is my drawing.
Hm. It looked a lot better
in my memory.
Uh, but you know what, Smithers?
I will find Lilah and win her back.
I'll just check
with the old gang.
Hemingway!
Picasso.
Matador Juan Belmonte.
And Stalin.
That man could really
put pressure on you.
Hello, Kent.
Well, well, well.
Rachel Maddow.
Everyone came back
for Chip's funeral.
I was flying from DC to New York
and, of course,
I had the layover in Springfield.
How's the gang at Channel 6?
Look, let's get this
out of the way--
just because we
both worked at Channel 6
and you made it big and
I didn't doesn't mean I'm bitter.
Um, Is that your car?
Maybe.
Kent, I'm gonna tell you the most
important mistake you ever made...
...after this break.
So, Kent, that
mistake you made,
that fundamental, life-changing error,
that cosmic fail, that...
Just tell me already!
After this break.
You could have come with me,
but you were suckling the dual teats
of infotainment
and celebrifawning.
So, tell us about
your new movie.
It's fantastic.
The studio let us play
in their sandbox.
- Great. We have a clip.
- No! No, don't show it.
There aren't five good seconds
in the whole film.
I'm not a newsman anymore,
I'm a geologist.
I keep discovering
a new rock bottom.
Kent, I think I found my
ticket out of this town.
Or at least to a
better Springfield.
You two newshounds working on a story?
How about this?
Mario's down the street
found a rat in their pasta.
- When did that happen?
- Whenever you want. Eh?
Rachel, can I come?
We can share blazers.
Just follow me.
At Mario's, the picture of Sinatra on
the wall is signed by Frank Junior.
The frame hides the "Junior"!
Someone's been dumping tires
in the forest.
Willikers! In my three years of soft news,
I've never seen anything like this.
Those are tires from my
ill-fated Krusty Town Car.
It would explode if people
gripped the wheel too tightly.
What a scoop!
You're not telling no one.
As the 4:00 p.m. clown, I have complete
control of the Channel 6 news division.
Local news is a joke.
I'm going to cable.
Cable news!
Bah! People only want news
at 6:00 p.m.
from white guys on weekdays
and black guys on weekends.
We'll see about that.
Yes, we shall see.
About that, things will be seen.
By us.
Kent, you coming?
He ain't comin'.
This little piggy's afraid to leave
his cushy anchorman slop trough.
Could you, uh, phrase that
a little more nicely?
Sorry. He "isn't" coming.
You'll regret this, Kent.
When I have my own show
and you're stuck here...
...tracking Santa's flight
from the North Pole.
"Oh, look, he's
over Greenland!"
Don't worry, piggy,
you made the right choice.
Eh, it'll burn out
in an hour or so.
Look, Burns,
I've got the dope
on your sweetie.
She's still alive, and she just got
over being mad at you last week.
Lilah's alive?
Yeah, well, uh, she's
alive, but she's a nun.
Married to Jesus, eh?
Does he beat her?
Jesus? No, he's a real
Eagle Scout, that one.
But your penguin's
not a Catholic, she's
a Buddhist nun--
spent her life expressing her
sexuality with a Zen garden.
Those raked rocks
could have been me.
Now, since you're so good at
finding things, find the exit.
There is the little
matter of my fee.
You're becoming very tiresome.
Who moved my desk?!
Well, here I am.
Cable news alley.
Fox News. Is this really how I want
to get back in the big leagues?
Let's see how
print journalism is doing.
Sir, do you sell
The New York Times?
Sir, we are
The New York Times.
And in I go.
Why are you doing this, Bart?
50% attention-seeking,
50% to drop things on people.
He's gonna visit
my sky granny.
To work at Fox News,
all you have to be able to do...
...is operate this device.
Now, when a Republican
is in trouble...
At the time,
I didn't know it was illegal
to sex up a cow
on the Capitol steps.
...we simply do this.
Now you try.
Sorry, but I just discovered
I have some scruples.
I'm going back to my
sweet little town
where I can decide what news is.
Like a god.
We've had some good times.
♪ Memories
♪ Rest between the pages
of my mind ♪
♪ Memories
♪ See me through the ages
just like wine... ♪
And you sat on the gas pedal
when my foot fell asleep,
so I'm getting you
shined up nice.
What the...?
Oh!
That's a ball-proof
window, sir.
Would you like me to ask Siri
for a nearby hospital?
I'm sorry, I don't see
any "hops petals" near you.
Deleting all
contact information.
No, no, I didn't ask you
to do that, Siri. I...
Delete confirmed.
Oh. Okay, Bart, be cool.
Calm down, you're not
gonna die up here.
Aw...
D'oh!
Oh, Monty, I can't
believe you found me
after all these years.
I've saved myself for you.
Well, then, uh...
I should disrobe at once.
Housekeeping? Send up a
Chinese dressing screen
and one of Firestone's finest
vulcanized prophylactics.
Be right back.
Smithers? Which do I take first,
the rhino horn or the tiger tongue?
I have my doubts
about both, sir.
Bah! I'll just do it the old-fashioned way.
With my pump.
Just powdering my nose, darling.
Smithers, run down
to Sears, Roebuck
and get a five-eighths-inch
Phillips head bolt.
Here I am, slowly dying
every day at 5:00, 6:00 and 11:00.
Help! Help!
Child in danger with exciting visuals!
This kid's corpse could be my magic carpet.
Get me a cameraman!
The movie Up has come horribly
to life over Springfield.
A local boy clings to life in a story
that proves this reporter's relevance.
Ay, caramba!
It's Bart!
Pray for a miracle, boy.
God can hear you better from up there.
Dear Lord, please
help me land safely.
Or transform this basket
into a flying killer robot
that I control
with my mind. Amen.
That's not a prayer.
My God says it is.
Oh, I see you're ice-cold
with anticipation.
Dead?
Oh, Lilah.
Even at the end,
I waited too long.
What if I give her
the breath of life?
Oh, boy. I guess one regret
just leads to another.
You know, sir, maybe it
would bring you peace
to honor the one thing
Lilah ever asked of you.
Here you are, my good man.
A little broth will cure your
mental illness.
Sir, that's five minutes. You can
stop thinking of other people now.
You know what, I think
I'll give it another five.
I'm proud of you, Monty.
I ain't eatin' that.
Chief, what are you
doing to save our son?
Well, I've placed marksmen on the roof
to shoot the balloons one by one,
but frankly
they're not very good.
Chief,
it happened again.
Aw, come on, guys,
spread out. Arm's length.
It's all my fault.
I should never have listened
to those KISS albums
when I was pregnant.
Marge, with all due respect,
that's ridiculous.
My Sarah listened to Mozart
and Churchill speeches
when she was pregnant
with Ralphie,
and he can't even
open a refrigerator.
- Pushing, always... always pushing.
- Really?
Oh, yeah.
That kid's a mess.
Hey! Only I get
to criticize him, Lou.
Kid's scared to flush.
Think's it's his brother.
Can we focus on my
son up in the sky?
Oh, I've got
a long-shot idea.
By which I mean firing a shot
over a long distance.
Yeah, you see, if we could fire an exactly
12-and-a-half-pound weight into the basket,
it would lower the boy
very gently to the ground.
Unfortunately, all our
cannonballs were melted down
to make a statue
of Joe Paterno,
which we changed
to look like Eugene Levy.
I think I just might have
what you're looking for.
Today I'm glad that
I sold that stock.
Uh, Apple closed up
another 20 points today.
Why does everyone know?
Because their terrific products
keep track of it for you.
And anything else
you could ever think of.
That kid's not
dying on my watch.
Which ends... right
now, fortunately.
Bart! Bart! Bart! Bart!
Bart! Bart!
Hey.
- Bart! Bart!
- Hmm.
Homer's rising faster
than Apple stock.
My boy's okay!
Bart! Bart! Bart!
I won the science fair!
I get to go to Chicago!
Bart! Bart! Bart!
Ugh. Bart, Bart, Bart.
You know what I think
about regrets?
As long as your family
is together,
every choice you've ever made
is the right one.
And together we are.
Would you guys knock it off?
He's down safe already.
Sorry, Chief,
that was me putting it down.
And there you have it--
a family reunited.
And a grateful nation gives
thanks for some solid reporting.
Back to you, Rachel Maddow.
Great job, Kent. I think we might
have an opening for you at MSNBC
between our weekend prison documentary
block and the two hours it takes
to make up Joe Scarborough
on Monday morning.
No, thanks, Rachel Maddow.
I'm happy right here.
No regrets.
Hah!
Shh!