The Simpsons (1989–…): Season 21, Episode 13 - The Color Yellow - full transcript

While searching for an admirable ancestor for a class project, Lisa discovers the story of a relative named Eliza Simpson, who may or may not have helped a slave escape to freedom.

That stump is really eating
into my tractor budget.

I'll have to use me explosives.

Explosives?
Great.

If we put charges on
the load-bearing walls,

we can blow up detention hall
while leaving the art room unharmed.

Hey, I like art, okay?

I'm blowing up the stump,
not the school.

{\pos(192,210)}Right, right.

{\pos(192,210)}You never saw that.

{\pos(192,210)}Well done, boy.

{\pos(192,210)}- Wait, here comes the "mykeeyah."
- What's a mykeeyah?



My Kia!

{\pos(192,210)}I'm laughing to fit in,
but I still don't get it.

{\pos(192,210)}Miss Hoover,
what's our lesson today?

{\pos(192,210)}Is it school?

{\pos(192,210)}Oh, I don't know.
Let's see.

{\pos(192,210)}Family trees.

Who here knows what
a family tree is?

{\pos(192,210)}Oh, family trees...

{\pos(192,210)}the charts representing
genealogical relationships

{\pos(192,210)}in a branching structure.

Very good, Lisa.

{\pos(192,210)}Class, your assignment
over the weekend will be

{\pos(192,210)}to make your own family tree,

{\pos(192,210)}emphasizing any notable
or distinguished ancestors.



{\pos(192,210)}I can't wait to see
what noble branches lie

{\pos(192,210)}in the Simpson family foliage.

No, this can't be right.

Yech, they're all horrible.

Yeah, the Simpson family is
a long line of horse thieves,

deadbeats, horse beats,
dead thieves, and even a few...

...alcoholics.

{\pos(192,210)}There must have been
some good ancestors.

{\pos(192,210)}- Grampa, don't you know any?
- Not a one.

{\pos(192,210)}Maybe the nicest was
Abigail Simpson,

{\pos(192,210)}who you know as the
Pittsburgh Poisoner.

{\pos(192,210)}Listen, Lisa, you're going to find
more than you bargained for.

{\pos(192,210)}If I were you,
I wouldn't dig into the past.

I lived in some of that past,
and I got out for a reason.

I won't give up.

{\pos(192,210)}I have to know that somewhere
in the muck and the mire

{\pos(192,210)}and the Pittsburgh Poisoners,
this family had a noble spark,

and I will find it, even if I have
to go back to Adam and Eve.

{\pos(192,210)}Oh, you mean Adam and Eve Simpson,

{\pos(192,210)}or as you may know them,
Julius and Ethel Rosenberg.

{\pos(192,210)}Well, are you going
to help me or what?

Thank you.

So, what are you looking for?

Family records for a school
project on genealogical...

Hey, that's great.

Hey, Dad's idea pad.

Bicentennial issue
of Reader's Digest.

Old ad for Buzz Cola.

So dusty.

The "Diary of Eliza Simpson"?

{\pos(192,210)}This entry is dated April 14, 1860.

{\pos(192,210)}I warn you:
I don't know what's in there,

{\pos(192,210)}but if it's about a Simpson,
you ain't gonna be proud.

Our ancestors were
kicked out of Australia.

Oh, stop.

It's the journal
of a sweet little girl.

Keep reading, honey.

"Dearest diary, today I am
the happiest girl in Springfield..."

See, all good.

"...because tomorrow I shall get
my very first slave."

I can't believe we're descended
from slave owners.

Me neither.

For once, the Simpsons
were in management.

Read a little more, honey.

"Saturday, April 14, 1860.

"Dear Diary, I must be brief,

"for tonight is the grand ball

at Colonel Burns's plantation."

I shall dress myself in finery,

like a well-to-do Southern belle.

- What's for dinner?
- Possum.

Oh, can't we have opossum?

Not on your salary.

I can't believe I buttoned
my britches for this.

In my elegant gown,
no one will suspect

that I'm actually
on a mission to help

my very first slave
escape to freedom.

Yes!
She wasn't a slave owner.

Our family was
on the Underground Railroad.

We ran a subway station?

No, the Underground Railroad

was a bunch of people who helped
slaves escape to Canada.

There were no actual trains
and it wasn't under ground.

They should've called it
the Aboveground Normal-Road.

- Good point.
- Hadn't thought of that.

- Very good, Bart.
- That's a great story, Lisa!

And you should stop
reading right there.

Wh-What are you doing?
I want to know what happens next.

Well, I don't.

The motto of the Simpsons is:
"Quit while you're ahead."

I made it into a sampler.

It's like when
your father and I left

the movie Carrie right after
she was crowned prom queen.

She was so happy.

She had a lot of problems,
but they were all behind her.

- But, but, but-but-but...
- Time for bed, sweetie.

Lisa.

Lisa, it's me.

Eliza, the one good Simpson.

I've got so much more to tell you.

I must know.

You still reading that thing?

I'm warning you:
When something goes into that vent,

it shouldn't come out...

ever.

Well, I am reading it,
and when I'm finished,

I'm going to use
Eliza's diary for my

"Black History Month" presentation.

Good idea.

Bart, what are you doing
for Black History Month?

I got an idea:
You can march to Selma,

and tell her she's ugly!

Listen. "April 20, 1860.

"A week ago, I had no idea
what the future would bring,

"which, I guess, is always
true of everyone all the time.

"Anyway, last Saturday night,

I went to Colonel Burns's ball."

I don't like this new Viennese
dance craze, "the waltz."

One, two, three...

Where's the "four"?
All music needs a four!

I'll have the orchestra adjust
its time signature, sir.

See that you do.

In the confusion,
I slipped out of the ball

and made my way to the stables,

where I was to meet
Mr. Burns's slave, Virgil.

But when I got to the stables,

he was nowhere to be seen.

Virgil?

Virgil, let's go.

You look like you could
use a little help.

Actually, I'm here to help you.

- Follow me north to freedom.
- I don't think so.

Why? Because I'm young
and I'm a woman?

No, because you're pointing south.

Oh, right, right.

Sorry.
It's my first time.

That's all right. It's my 14th.

As we made our way northward,

a couple of patrollers spotted us.

Well, well, well.

Where do you think you're going?

- Run!
- After them!

- Obviously.
- Well, you didn't say it.

Hearts pounding,
we fled into the woods,

but their horses were fast.

Escape seemed impossible.

What happened next?

But...
that's all theres.

The rest of the diary
has turned to dust.

I'll never know if Eliza
got Virgil safely to freedom.

Cheer up, sweetie.

Maybe we can find
the answer in the library.

To the reference desk!

The library?

Bart, can you believe we're
married to those nerds?

There are no books about
an Eliza Simpson, but I did find this.

Ooh, a cookbook.

That's Eliza's mother!

Martha, you are the best!

"Pork Butt in Cream,"
"Snout-Fried Neck,"

"Frog-Haunch,"
"Hooves Au Jus,"

"Possum Pouch Pie..."

Please don't make those recipes.

This one doesn't sound roadkill-y.

And it comes with a story.

"Many years ago, my daughter, Eliza,

brought a runaway slave,
Virgil, to the house."

They made it back to the house?!
How?

The patrollers were too fast
for Eliza and Virgil.

Luckily, they chanced
upon a traveling circus...

...where they were helped
by a crusty, old clown.

A little schmutz,
a little schmear, and presto!

You're part of the
under-clown railroad.

So, you got any talent?

Well, I am a bit musical.

Rule number one:
never be better than me.

And I'm pretty bad.

Nothing to see here...

just a couple of clowns,
and the world's youngest bearded lady.

That I is.

Look at her any longer,
you're gonna have to pay a nickel.

Why do I always ask for a nickel?

That's like 20 bucks in 2010 money.

Wait!
All that was in the recipe?

It was a footnote.
See?

"Anyway, I was very proud of Eliza,
but my husband Hiram

had not quite caught
abolition fever."

Uh-uh, no way.

He'll get me in trouble.

Maybe you'll change
your mind about me

after you try some
of my wheel cakes.

Wheel cakes?

They're just
honey-sweetened batter...

- Go on.
- ...deep-fried in hog lard.

Lard, you say.

Then dusted with powdered sugar.

You can stay.

You swear you'll help him?

I give you my word as
a Southern gentleman.

So they did the right thing.

My quest is fulfilled.

Oufamily has heroes!

Our family has heroes.

Martin Luther King had a dream.

Dreams are where Elmo and Toy Story

had a party and I went there.

- Yay. My turn is over.
- One of your best, Ralph.

Next up, we have Simpson, L.

My Black History Month
presentation is called

"The Simpsons:
The First Family of Freedom."

No, no, no, not now!
Quit, quit!

No, don't quit the program,
just the update, you stupid...

Computers, right?

Our story begins
with a spunky little spitfire

named Eliza Simpson.

The year was 1860,
and the Underground Railroad was...

...though Hiram, Mabel, and Eliza

are no longer among us,
their truth goes marching on.

Thank you.

Bravo, Lisa.

Very entertaining,

but then again,

fairy tales always are.

What are you talking about?

I hold in my hand another diary.

That of my great-great-great...

...great-great grandfafa,

Milford van Houten.

"April 22nd, 1860..."

I was reclining beneath
a sarsaparilla tree,

reading about one

of Mr. Thomas Jefferson's
marvelous inventions.

When suddenly I heard
quite a commotion

coming from the Simpson residence.

- You're lying!
- Leave me alone!

I have sells to crop.

That's one of Virgil's
sugar-sprinkled cake rings.

Now, where is he?

I don't have to answer
to some weak old man

with a walking stick.
Ahh! A beating stick!

Brigand.

Dastard.

Renegade.
Mooncalf.

I can't tell you where he is.
I swore an oath.

I see.

You know, Simpson,
every man has his price.

No one is better at determining
said price than yours truly.

I would say your price is...

a pleasant surprise.

That's exactly my price.

Your man Virgil is...

- in...
- Father, no!

Eliza, hold your tongue!

Don't worry, I'll handle this one.

Young lady, in this day and age,

women only express
their opinions in diaries

to be found long after they're gone.

From the day you were born,
you were brought up

to crave the approval of a man.

And I know you really
want to be a good girl,

and good girls are
seen and not heard.

Yes, sir.

That-a-girl.

Now, where's my man?

In the turnip shed.
Now, what's my surprise?

Your surprise is
a new pair of shoes.

Oh, my God, that
surprise is so pleasant.

After that fateful day,

"I could never even
look at Eliza again."

It didn't help that the next day,

he drank bad well
water and went blind.

No! You lie!

Eliza Simpson can't be a coward.

She's the only decent
ancestor I have.

Ach. Take it outside, lassie.

We've still got three
"Jackie Robinsons"

and a "Tuskegee Airmen" to go.

And so many Obamas.

Yes, we can.

- Audacity of hope.
- Let me be clear.

As I told you,
we don't have any books

pertaining to Eliza Simpson.

But I need to prove that my ancestor

couldn't have backed
down to Colonel Burns.

Colonel Burns?

Why, I haven't heard
my father's name in years.

You know, you could
try our film vault.

We have a film vault?

It's where we hooked up
during the Christmas party.

So, Miss Eliza, I understand
you just turned 100.

It's been quite a life.

- Any regrets?
- Just one.

When I was a girl,
I witnessed a grave injustice,

but I held my tongue.

That pat on my head
from a wicked man

has haunted me to this day.

There's no noble Simpson.

You were right, Dad.

I should have quit while I was ahead

instead of learning the horrible truth
about our family and Virgil.

Aw, don't cry, meat pie.

Things worked out pretty
well for Virgil in the end.

What are you talking about?

Is there something you know
about Virgil that you haven't told us?

I'll take that secret
to my grave or urn,

or medical school dissecting table,
or wherever you're dumping me.

Listen, Wrinkles, if you know something
that'll cheer up my little girl,

you'd better spill it.

Or I can make things very
uncomfortable for you.

That enough?

Ah! Okay, I'll talk.

D-Day is June 6th.
Repeat June 6th.

Allied forces will land
on the beaches of Normandy

in the following order,
Utah, Omaha, Gold, Juno.

- Are you writing this down, Fritz?
- About Virgil.

Oh, right.

Well, Lisa, Mabel
knew her husband well,

so she cooked up a little
payback pie.

Get off my property, Colonel Burns.

And if I ever see you
in these parts again...

...you're gonna be a Memphis belle.

Very well.
You may have won this round,

but someday my history will be told

by my descendants Ken and Ric Burns.

I knew you'd break your promise.

Now I'm taking Virgil to freedom.

You defied your husband for me?

Man, this is the '60s.

Now let's take you to a place

where a black man can
blend in Canada.

So, with those words,

Mabel and Virgil headed north,

but their journey was
fraught with peril.

Mabel, why don't I go on alone,
and you go back to Hiram?

No.
There's no life for me with him.

I just need to disguise my hair.
But how?

May I be of assistance?

Abraham Lincoln?!

Perhaps this hat will
help disguise your hair.

Thank you.

How's it look?

It makes you look like
a potbellied stove.

Hey, hey, "Honest Abe."

Oh, I'm a riot.

As the border drew close,
so did Virgil and Mabel.

After you.

By the time they crossed
into Canada,

things had changed.

Mabel she divorced Hiram

and got one of his shoes
in the settlement.

Mabel and Virgil lived out the rest
of their days in peace.

They got married,
and since Virgil had no last name,

they both took the name Simpson
so that Mabel could keep

all her monogrammed table linens.

And their son, Abraham Simpson,

was my great-grandfather.

So you're actually descended
from Virgil, not Hiram.

Are ya happy?

Yes. I'm thrilled.

We've regained our family honor,

and we're 1/64th black.

So that's why I'm so cool.

That's why my jazz is so smooth.

And that's why I earn less
than my white co-workers.

Grampa, why'd you try
to keep us from finding this out?

Well, it's hard to explain
this to a young person,

but people of my
generation are, you know...

- Racists?
- That's it.

I don't know what the big deal is.

I mean, it never bothered any
of you that my father's French.

You know, Bouvier?

So that's why I love
drinking so much.

I'm French, not you.

C'est la vie, baby.

Traduction :
Robot, Skualler, Strex & Polok

Synchro : Job22