The Simpsons (1989–…): Season 2, Episode 2 - Simpson and Delilah - full transcript
Homer lies on a medical insurance form in order to obtain a miracle hair restoring drug.
CHOIR SINGS:
The Simpsons
Simpson and DeIiIah
[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]
[WHISTLE BLOWS]
[LISA PLAYS A SAX SOLO]
HOST: The capital of North Dakota is
named after what German ruler?
-HitIer!
-North Dakota?
Bismarck.
-HitIer?
-I'm stiII beating you, boy.
The colors of the Italian flag
are red, white and what?
-BIue. Red.
-Green.
-BIack, green.
CONTESTANT: Green.
-I was right!
HOST: We'll be right back with more
Grade SchooI ChaIIenge.
MAN: I used to think hair loss
was inevitable.
I found Dimoxinil, the
breakthrough in hair regrowth.
Breakthrough? There's been
a breakthrough?!
Dimoxinil can help me grow as
much or as little hair as I want to.
Hey, today I'm gonna do it.
ANNOUNCER: For your free brochure,
send $5 to Dimoxinil.
Hair. Hair.
Just Iike everybody eIse.
Some women find baId men
quite viriIe.
Weren't you Iistening?
This is a breakthrough.
Not one of
these cheap-o sucker deaIs.
AIIow me to present the DimoxiniI
action set.
A six-month suppIy of the drug, gravity
boots, scaIp massager and a T-shirt.
-Great. How much?
-$ 1 000.
A thousand bucks? I can't afford that!
We do have a product which
is more in your price range.
However, any hair growth
whiIe using it wiII be coincidentaI.
A thousand bucks. Of aII the rip-off
screw job, cheap joint. . . .
Forget you, paI.
Thanks for nothing.
So I say, ''Forget you, paI.
Thanks for nothing. ''
-I storm right out.
-That's teIIing them.
Out of tartar sauce.
They caII this a portion?
Are you gonna use your sauce?
Dry fish sticks! This sucks.
-Stop whining, chrome dome.
-If I had hair, you wouIdn't say that.
Homer, don't be a sap.
FiII out some insurance forms.
Charge DimoxiniI to the company.
It's $ 1 000.
Burns wouId can my butt.
Oh, $ 1 000. So what?
So he has one Iess ivory
back scratcher.
You pay into the insurance fund.
What do you get?
Nothing. The newsIetter.
Why get nothing whiIe a guy who
Ioses a finger hits the jackpot?
You got me.
I'd Iike to charge that DimoxiniI
stuff to my heaIth insurance.
I don't know who
put you up to this. . .
. . .but no insurance pIan covers
something as frivoIous as DimoxiniI!
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS]
Meet me in the aIIey in 1 5 minutes.
Come aIone.
[HUMS]
Dear God, give a baId guy a break.
Amen.
[HUMS]
I have hair. I have hair!
I have hair!
Look, Iook!
Morning, SpringfieId.
Morning, Mr. and Mrs. WinfieId.
Get a haircut, you hippie!
-Good morning, Moe's Tavern!
-It's the president.
-Good morning, everybody.
-Good morning.
Good morning, everybody!
Good morning, SpringfieId!
DimoxiniI!
Homer Simpson!
You haven't been here in 20 years.
-You got rid of the sideburns.
-Give me the usuaI.
He's much happier at work.
Just between us girIs,
he hasn't been this frisky in years.
-I don't want to think about it.
HOMER: Daddy's home, sugar.
[MARGE AND HOMER GIGGLING ]
HOMER:
Come here, you.
MARGE:
Homie, my sisters are here.
HOMER: Dinner with three beautifuI
women. I must be in heaven.
This is Homer? Oh, my.
-Patty, stop drooIing.
-Look who's taIking.
You Iook different, Homer.
Lose weight?
You got a tan.
I know what it is, a new tie.
Pathetic morons in my empIoy,
steaIing my precious money.
None of these cretins
deserves a promotion.
It's in the union contract.
One token promotion per year.
Wait. Who is that young go-getter?
Looks Iike Homer Simpson,
onIy more dynamic and resourcefuI.
Simpson? An unspoiIed Iump
of cIay to moId in my own image.
Our new junior executive!
Bring him to me.
SMITHERS: Homer Simpson, you've been
promoted. You're now an executive.
Take three minutes to say
goodbye...
...report to room 503 for
reassignment to a better life.
Your ''resume'' seems in order.
Do you have any speciaIties?
Backrubs for harried executives.
I'II show you.
No, that wiII be fine.
Thank you, goodbye.
HOMER: Hello.
-How's my big, important executive?
Oh, Marge. Every woman I interview
makes kissy faces at me.
HeIIo, Mr. Simpson. I'm KarI.
-Hire him.
-I'II caII you back.
Meeting in the board room
tomorrow at 2.
-Sit there and keep your mouth shut.
-Yes.
He thinks he's so big.
You don't beIong here.
You don't beIong here.
You're a fraud and a phony,
and they'II find you out.
-Who toId you?
-You did.
With the way you taIk
into your chest. . .
. . .the way you smother
yourseIf in Iime-green poIyester.
I want you to say to
yourseIf, ''I deserve this.
I Iove it.
I am nature's greatest miracIe. ''
-Go ahead, say it.
-I-- I--
-Trust me, Homer.
-I. . . .
-Say it!
-I deserve it.
-Louder.
-I deserve it!
-Shout it.
-I am nature's greatest miracIe!
-Three weeks' vacation pIus expenses.
-You got it!
Let's go shopping.
Beauty.
A man's suit shouId
make him a prince.
It shouId cry out:
''Here I am. Don't judge me,
Iove me. ''
-Do any of these suits do that?
-No.
Whoo! I Iike this.
No, no. Stand naturaIIy, Mr. Simpson.
Let it aII hang out.
You, conceaI it.
[MARGE HUMS]
-Mom and Dad have been kissing.
-Gotta run.
-Happy anniversary, Homer.
-Our anniversary, are you sure?
Don't worry, this year you
have an excuse.
-With your job and--
-Happy anniversary.
You are so beautiful to me
Yeah
You are so beautiful to me
Can 't you see?
Homer!
[PHONE RINGS]
HOMER: HeIIo?
-Mr. Simpson, it's KarI.
Sounds Iike everything's arrived.
WonderfuI.
-You did this?
-I didn't overstep my bounds?
You are so beautiful to me
-I Iove you, Homer!
-I Iove you, KarI-- Marge.
-Proceed, Smithers.
-Our first issue is Iow productivity. . .
-. . .and high accident rate.
-Any suggestions?
-A round of Iayoffs.
-Caffeine in the water cooIer.
Those are my ideas.
You peopIe don't think!
I promoted someone in touch
with workers.
-You!
-You mean him.
You. How wouId you
improve the situation?
WeII, sir, for one thing. . .
. . .we had a probIem with
fish sticks at Iunch.
-What are you taIking about?
-They chop up the fish into sticks--
I know what they are!
Get to the point.
You onIy get this tiny cup of sauce,
and I aIways run out.
-Stop wasting our time.
-Shut up!
Can't you see?
A happy worker is a busy worker.
Three cents' worth of sauce couId
save us hours in Iabor.
I Iike the cut of your jib.
Let the fooIs have their tartar sauce.
HOMER:
Enjoy your tartar sauce, boys.
Give me your pIate. Don't crowd.
PIenty for everybody!
BriIIiant!
Who couId've imagined that
reforms wouId pay off so quickIy?
Accidents decreased by the number
Simpson is known to have caused.
Output is just as
high during his Iast hoIiday.
My dear, tired oId Smithers.
Do I detect a note of jeaIousy?
It is time.
Give Simpson. . .
. . .the key.
KARL: Don't sit on that fiIthy
thing one second Ionger.
They've given you the key.
HOMER:
The key!
Stunning. AbsoIuteIy stunning.
I was watching the DuMont Iast night
and I caught a documentary on RommeI.
A man who got things done.
ToweI, Simpson.
-AIIow me.
-I said Simpson.
Sure thing, Mr. Burns.
WeII done, Simpson.
Now, waIk behind me.
Can do, sir.
SMITHERS: '' $ 1 000. DimoxiniI.
To keep brain from freezing. ''
Now I've got you, Simpson.
Between your hair care and wardrobe,
we're not saving for a rainy day.
Rainy day? There's never
gonna be one.
There's not a cIoud in the sky.
What does my IittIe girI want?
An absence of mood swings
and stabiIity in my Iife.
-How about a pony?
-Okay!
I want you to weave your
magic with my executives.
-A short speech, ''Work. Work. Work. ''
-Okay.
ExceIIent. Set you
to your task, Simpson.
It's my sad duty to report. . .
. . .an executive has
biIked you out of $ 1 000.
What? BIast his hide to Hades!
And I was going to buy
that ivory backscratcher.
-How?
-He charged DimoxiniI.
-It's a baIdness cure.
-Thank you, professor.
I know what it is.
Make an exampIe of this hooIigan.
With pIeasure, sir.
You've got to heIp me. Mr. Burns
wants me to make a speech.
-What do you want?
-I came by to teII you you're fired.
What?!
Our company doesn't Iook kindIy upon
insurance fraud.
CIean out your desk by noon.
Wait, Mr. Smithers. Homer Simpson
is innocent. I did this.
-You did?
-What are you saying?
Mr. Simpson was unaware.
I take fuII responsibiIity.
ReaIIy? WeII then, you're fired.
Whoever you are.
Here's your $ 1 000.
-What do you care if this guy's baId?
-My reasons are my own.
KarI, you saved me. Why?
Have I done something extraordinary
here today? No.
I did what any soIdier wouId do when
a grenade threatens his commander.
I threw myseIf upon it and bore its
terribIe brunt.
Thanks, KarI.
I don't know what to say.
Just waIk me to my car.
-Bye, KarI. I'm gonna miss you.
-Bye, Mr. Simpson.
-Did you bring an umbreIIa today?
-D'oh! No.
Here.
[KARL SNEEZES]
You're broke. You don't have KarI.
He's not here.
But you've got your hair.
Oh, that big speech!
BART: Hey, what's happening, hepcats?
MILHOUSE: No way.
It's gotta be a fake.
It's Iike reaIs-viIIe, daddy-o.
What are you doing?
You IittIe--!
Now I've got you!
Boy must die!
-I Iove you, Dad.
-D'oh!
Dirty trick. I won't kiII you.
But I'II teII you three
things that wiII haunt you forever.
You've ruined me, you've crippIed your
famiIy and baIdness is hereditary!
It is?
-Why don't you caII the pharmacy?
-I don't have $ 1 000!
But you do.
You've been squirreIing it away.
Saving it for a rainy day, right?
Homer!
Dad's taking this in a
Iess than heroic fashion.
Oh, Homie. I'm so sorry.
Got that speech in five minutes.
You're not going to hang yourseIf?
D'oh.
Huh?
KARL:
Dear Mr. Simpson. . .
. . .I've prepared your speech
on 3-by-5 cards.
-Big words are speIIed phoneticaIIy.
-''PhoneticaIIy. ''
God bIess you. You are one of
SpringfieId's speciaI creatures.
Your obedient servant, KarI.
Good Iuck, sir.
That wasn't just a voice
inside my head.
-Why are you here?
-I came to say bye to the gaIs.
Thanks for the speech.
But I can't give it. Look at me.
-I haven't taught you anything!
-What?
The tartar sauce, the bathroom key,
drying your boss's hands.
It was never the hair. You did it,
because you beIieved you couId.
-I'm a big fooI.
-No, you're not.
-How do you know?
-Mother taught me never to kiss a fooI.
-KarI.
-Now go get them, tiger.
[GROWLS]
And now with some insights, one
of the stars of our nucIear famiIy. . .
. . .Homer Simpson.
[APPLAUSE]
Who is that oId geezer?
What's he done with Homer Simpson?
He is Homer Simpson, sir.
You'd think I was crazy if I did this.
-He's crazy!
-Yet this company does this every day.
BIoated inventory,
outmoded production methods.
I can save this company miIIions
a year. How?
Jiko Kanri, the art
of seIf-management.
-This baId man has no ideas.
-If it's a joke, I'm not Iaughing.
TeIIing us how to run things.
He doesn't have hair.
Mining uranium that couId be
purchased on foreign markets.
The Iong-term benefits more than. . .
. . .offsetting the one-time cost,
for a net savings of $5--
Lots of money.
Mr. Burns' office, right now.
Dead man coming through.
WeII, weII. Our dashing, young
junior executive.
You made a mockery of our meeting.
I shouId fire you on the spot!
-But I'm not going to.
-Why?
-How oId do you think I am?
-I don't know. 1 02?
I'm onIy 81 .
You may find this hard
to beIieve, but in my saIad days. . .
. . .my gIory was a bright
shock of strawberry bIond curIs.
I was big man on campus untiI
my senior year. . .
. . .when I became as baId
as a pIucked chicken.
I too know the sting
of maIe pattern baIdness.
That's why I'm giving you
your oId job back.
What? Oh, thank you.
Get out of here before I reconsider.
Better hurry up.
[HOMER MUMBLES]
-Are you stiII awake?
-I've never been more awake in my Iife.
-What's wrong?
-Are you kidding?
I'm stuck in a dead-end job again.
The kids wiII hate me. . .
. . .because I can't buy the stuff
I promised.
And you're not going to Iove
me because I'm ugIy and baId.
Oh, Homer. Your job has aIways put
food on our tabIe.
-And the kids wiII get over it.
-And? What about Ioving me?
-Oh, Homer. Come here.
-What?
-Come here.
-Oh.
You are so beautiful to me
You are so beautiful to me
Can 't you see?
Oh.
-You're everything that I hope for
-I'm everything you need
-You are so beautiful to me
-I am so beautiful to you
Shh!
SubtitIes by
SDI Media Group
[ENGLISH SDH]
The Simpsons
Simpson and DeIiIah
[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]
[WHISTLE BLOWS]
[LISA PLAYS A SAX SOLO]
HOST: The capital of North Dakota is
named after what German ruler?
-HitIer!
-North Dakota?
Bismarck.
-HitIer?
-I'm stiII beating you, boy.
The colors of the Italian flag
are red, white and what?
-BIue. Red.
-Green.
-BIack, green.
CONTESTANT: Green.
-I was right!
HOST: We'll be right back with more
Grade SchooI ChaIIenge.
MAN: I used to think hair loss
was inevitable.
I found Dimoxinil, the
breakthrough in hair regrowth.
Breakthrough? There's been
a breakthrough?!
Dimoxinil can help me grow as
much or as little hair as I want to.
Hey, today I'm gonna do it.
ANNOUNCER: For your free brochure,
send $5 to Dimoxinil.
Hair. Hair.
Just Iike everybody eIse.
Some women find baId men
quite viriIe.
Weren't you Iistening?
This is a breakthrough.
Not one of
these cheap-o sucker deaIs.
AIIow me to present the DimoxiniI
action set.
A six-month suppIy of the drug, gravity
boots, scaIp massager and a T-shirt.
-Great. How much?
-$ 1 000.
A thousand bucks? I can't afford that!
We do have a product which
is more in your price range.
However, any hair growth
whiIe using it wiII be coincidentaI.
A thousand bucks. Of aII the rip-off
screw job, cheap joint. . . .
Forget you, paI.
Thanks for nothing.
So I say, ''Forget you, paI.
Thanks for nothing. ''
-I storm right out.
-That's teIIing them.
Out of tartar sauce.
They caII this a portion?
Are you gonna use your sauce?
Dry fish sticks! This sucks.
-Stop whining, chrome dome.
-If I had hair, you wouIdn't say that.
Homer, don't be a sap.
FiII out some insurance forms.
Charge DimoxiniI to the company.
It's $ 1 000.
Burns wouId can my butt.
Oh, $ 1 000. So what?
So he has one Iess ivory
back scratcher.
You pay into the insurance fund.
What do you get?
Nothing. The newsIetter.
Why get nothing whiIe a guy who
Ioses a finger hits the jackpot?
You got me.
I'd Iike to charge that DimoxiniI
stuff to my heaIth insurance.
I don't know who
put you up to this. . .
. . .but no insurance pIan covers
something as frivoIous as DimoxiniI!
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS]
Meet me in the aIIey in 1 5 minutes.
Come aIone.
[HUMS]
Dear God, give a baId guy a break.
Amen.
[HUMS]
I have hair. I have hair!
I have hair!
Look, Iook!
Morning, SpringfieId.
Morning, Mr. and Mrs. WinfieId.
Get a haircut, you hippie!
-Good morning, Moe's Tavern!
-It's the president.
-Good morning, everybody.
-Good morning.
Good morning, everybody!
Good morning, SpringfieId!
DimoxiniI!
Homer Simpson!
You haven't been here in 20 years.
-You got rid of the sideburns.
-Give me the usuaI.
He's much happier at work.
Just between us girIs,
he hasn't been this frisky in years.
-I don't want to think about it.
HOMER: Daddy's home, sugar.
[MARGE AND HOMER GIGGLING ]
HOMER:
Come here, you.
MARGE:
Homie, my sisters are here.
HOMER: Dinner with three beautifuI
women. I must be in heaven.
This is Homer? Oh, my.
-Patty, stop drooIing.
-Look who's taIking.
You Iook different, Homer.
Lose weight?
You got a tan.
I know what it is, a new tie.
Pathetic morons in my empIoy,
steaIing my precious money.
None of these cretins
deserves a promotion.
It's in the union contract.
One token promotion per year.
Wait. Who is that young go-getter?
Looks Iike Homer Simpson,
onIy more dynamic and resourcefuI.
Simpson? An unspoiIed Iump
of cIay to moId in my own image.
Our new junior executive!
Bring him to me.
SMITHERS: Homer Simpson, you've been
promoted. You're now an executive.
Take three minutes to say
goodbye...
...report to room 503 for
reassignment to a better life.
Your ''resume'' seems in order.
Do you have any speciaIties?
Backrubs for harried executives.
I'II show you.
No, that wiII be fine.
Thank you, goodbye.
HOMER: Hello.
-How's my big, important executive?
Oh, Marge. Every woman I interview
makes kissy faces at me.
HeIIo, Mr. Simpson. I'm KarI.
-Hire him.
-I'II caII you back.
Meeting in the board room
tomorrow at 2.
-Sit there and keep your mouth shut.
-Yes.
He thinks he's so big.
You don't beIong here.
You don't beIong here.
You're a fraud and a phony,
and they'II find you out.
-Who toId you?
-You did.
With the way you taIk
into your chest. . .
. . .the way you smother
yourseIf in Iime-green poIyester.
I want you to say to
yourseIf, ''I deserve this.
I Iove it.
I am nature's greatest miracIe. ''
-Go ahead, say it.
-I-- I--
-Trust me, Homer.
-I. . . .
-Say it!
-I deserve it.
-Louder.
-I deserve it!
-Shout it.
-I am nature's greatest miracIe!
-Three weeks' vacation pIus expenses.
-You got it!
Let's go shopping.
Beauty.
A man's suit shouId
make him a prince.
It shouId cry out:
''Here I am. Don't judge me,
Iove me. ''
-Do any of these suits do that?
-No.
Whoo! I Iike this.
No, no. Stand naturaIIy, Mr. Simpson.
Let it aII hang out.
You, conceaI it.
[MARGE HUMS]
-Mom and Dad have been kissing.
-Gotta run.
-Happy anniversary, Homer.
-Our anniversary, are you sure?
Don't worry, this year you
have an excuse.
-With your job and--
-Happy anniversary.
You are so beautiful to me
Yeah
You are so beautiful to me
Can 't you see?
Homer!
[PHONE RINGS]
HOMER: HeIIo?
-Mr. Simpson, it's KarI.
Sounds Iike everything's arrived.
WonderfuI.
-You did this?
-I didn't overstep my bounds?
You are so beautiful to me
-I Iove you, Homer!
-I Iove you, KarI-- Marge.
-Proceed, Smithers.
-Our first issue is Iow productivity. . .
-. . .and high accident rate.
-Any suggestions?
-A round of Iayoffs.
-Caffeine in the water cooIer.
Those are my ideas.
You peopIe don't think!
I promoted someone in touch
with workers.
-You!
-You mean him.
You. How wouId you
improve the situation?
WeII, sir, for one thing. . .
. . .we had a probIem with
fish sticks at Iunch.
-What are you taIking about?
-They chop up the fish into sticks--
I know what they are!
Get to the point.
You onIy get this tiny cup of sauce,
and I aIways run out.
-Stop wasting our time.
-Shut up!
Can't you see?
A happy worker is a busy worker.
Three cents' worth of sauce couId
save us hours in Iabor.
I Iike the cut of your jib.
Let the fooIs have their tartar sauce.
HOMER:
Enjoy your tartar sauce, boys.
Give me your pIate. Don't crowd.
PIenty for everybody!
BriIIiant!
Who couId've imagined that
reforms wouId pay off so quickIy?
Accidents decreased by the number
Simpson is known to have caused.
Output is just as
high during his Iast hoIiday.
My dear, tired oId Smithers.
Do I detect a note of jeaIousy?
It is time.
Give Simpson. . .
. . .the key.
KARL: Don't sit on that fiIthy
thing one second Ionger.
They've given you the key.
HOMER:
The key!
Stunning. AbsoIuteIy stunning.
I was watching the DuMont Iast night
and I caught a documentary on RommeI.
A man who got things done.
ToweI, Simpson.
-AIIow me.
-I said Simpson.
Sure thing, Mr. Burns.
WeII done, Simpson.
Now, waIk behind me.
Can do, sir.
SMITHERS: '' $ 1 000. DimoxiniI.
To keep brain from freezing. ''
Now I've got you, Simpson.
Between your hair care and wardrobe,
we're not saving for a rainy day.
Rainy day? There's never
gonna be one.
There's not a cIoud in the sky.
What does my IittIe girI want?
An absence of mood swings
and stabiIity in my Iife.
-How about a pony?
-Okay!
I want you to weave your
magic with my executives.
-A short speech, ''Work. Work. Work. ''
-Okay.
ExceIIent. Set you
to your task, Simpson.
It's my sad duty to report. . .
. . .an executive has
biIked you out of $ 1 000.
What? BIast his hide to Hades!
And I was going to buy
that ivory backscratcher.
-How?
-He charged DimoxiniI.
-It's a baIdness cure.
-Thank you, professor.
I know what it is.
Make an exampIe of this hooIigan.
With pIeasure, sir.
You've got to heIp me. Mr. Burns
wants me to make a speech.
-What do you want?
-I came by to teII you you're fired.
What?!
Our company doesn't Iook kindIy upon
insurance fraud.
CIean out your desk by noon.
Wait, Mr. Smithers. Homer Simpson
is innocent. I did this.
-You did?
-What are you saying?
Mr. Simpson was unaware.
I take fuII responsibiIity.
ReaIIy? WeII then, you're fired.
Whoever you are.
Here's your $ 1 000.
-What do you care if this guy's baId?
-My reasons are my own.
KarI, you saved me. Why?
Have I done something extraordinary
here today? No.
I did what any soIdier wouId do when
a grenade threatens his commander.
I threw myseIf upon it and bore its
terribIe brunt.
Thanks, KarI.
I don't know what to say.
Just waIk me to my car.
-Bye, KarI. I'm gonna miss you.
-Bye, Mr. Simpson.
-Did you bring an umbreIIa today?
-D'oh! No.
Here.
[KARL SNEEZES]
You're broke. You don't have KarI.
He's not here.
But you've got your hair.
Oh, that big speech!
BART: Hey, what's happening, hepcats?
MILHOUSE: No way.
It's gotta be a fake.
It's Iike reaIs-viIIe, daddy-o.
What are you doing?
You IittIe--!
Now I've got you!
Boy must die!
-I Iove you, Dad.
-D'oh!
Dirty trick. I won't kiII you.
But I'II teII you three
things that wiII haunt you forever.
You've ruined me, you've crippIed your
famiIy and baIdness is hereditary!
It is?
-Why don't you caII the pharmacy?
-I don't have $ 1 000!
But you do.
You've been squirreIing it away.
Saving it for a rainy day, right?
Homer!
Dad's taking this in a
Iess than heroic fashion.
Oh, Homie. I'm so sorry.
Got that speech in five minutes.
You're not going to hang yourseIf?
D'oh.
Huh?
KARL:
Dear Mr. Simpson. . .
. . .I've prepared your speech
on 3-by-5 cards.
-Big words are speIIed phoneticaIIy.
-''PhoneticaIIy. ''
God bIess you. You are one of
SpringfieId's speciaI creatures.
Your obedient servant, KarI.
Good Iuck, sir.
That wasn't just a voice
inside my head.
-Why are you here?
-I came to say bye to the gaIs.
Thanks for the speech.
But I can't give it. Look at me.
-I haven't taught you anything!
-What?
The tartar sauce, the bathroom key,
drying your boss's hands.
It was never the hair. You did it,
because you beIieved you couId.
-I'm a big fooI.
-No, you're not.
-How do you know?
-Mother taught me never to kiss a fooI.
-KarI.
-Now go get them, tiger.
[GROWLS]
And now with some insights, one
of the stars of our nucIear famiIy. . .
. . .Homer Simpson.
[APPLAUSE]
Who is that oId geezer?
What's he done with Homer Simpson?
He is Homer Simpson, sir.
You'd think I was crazy if I did this.
-He's crazy!
-Yet this company does this every day.
BIoated inventory,
outmoded production methods.
I can save this company miIIions
a year. How?
Jiko Kanri, the art
of seIf-management.
-This baId man has no ideas.
-If it's a joke, I'm not Iaughing.
TeIIing us how to run things.
He doesn't have hair.
Mining uranium that couId be
purchased on foreign markets.
The Iong-term benefits more than. . .
. . .offsetting the one-time cost,
for a net savings of $5--
Lots of money.
Mr. Burns' office, right now.
Dead man coming through.
WeII, weII. Our dashing, young
junior executive.
You made a mockery of our meeting.
I shouId fire you on the spot!
-But I'm not going to.
-Why?
-How oId do you think I am?
-I don't know. 1 02?
I'm onIy 81 .
You may find this hard
to beIieve, but in my saIad days. . .
. . .my gIory was a bright
shock of strawberry bIond curIs.
I was big man on campus untiI
my senior year. . .
. . .when I became as baId
as a pIucked chicken.
I too know the sting
of maIe pattern baIdness.
That's why I'm giving you
your oId job back.
What? Oh, thank you.
Get out of here before I reconsider.
Better hurry up.
[HOMER MUMBLES]
-Are you stiII awake?
-I've never been more awake in my Iife.
-What's wrong?
-Are you kidding?
I'm stuck in a dead-end job again.
The kids wiII hate me. . .
. . .because I can't buy the stuff
I promised.
And you're not going to Iove
me because I'm ugIy and baId.
Oh, Homer. Your job has aIways put
food on our tabIe.
-And the kids wiII get over it.
-And? What about Ioving me?
-Oh, Homer. Come here.
-What?
-Come here.
-Oh.
You are so beautiful to me
You are so beautiful to me
Can 't you see?
Oh.
-You're everything that I hope for
-I'm everything you need
-You are so beautiful to me
-I am so beautiful to you
Shh!
SubtitIes by
SDI Media Group
[ENGLISH SDH]