The Simpsons (1989–…): Season 19, Episode 7 - Husbands and Knives - full transcript
When Marge becomes a successful businesswoman, Homer becomes worried that she will dump him for a trophy husband. Therefore, he decides to have plastic surgery to make himself look like a hunk.
The Simpsons S19E07 (JABF17)
Husbands and Knives
The pilgrims were not
illegal aliens
Lame, lame,
lame, lame, have it, lame,
Superman Dies, Aquaman Dies,
Casper Dies,
Caveman Robin, Black Robin,
Born-Again Robin.
The infamous Wolverine comic
with pop-out claws.
Why was this
so controversial?
Nice work,
Doctor Boo-Who.
Your tears have smudged
Wolverine's iconic sideburns.
Hence, you must buy this comic.
And the cost of your
innocent accident is....
$25, please.
But that's the money Yaya Sofia
gave me for Greek
Orthodox Easter.
I hate when they tell me
things about themselves.
You should stop being
so mean to us kids.
Well, I suppose you could buy
your comics somewhere else.
Maybe they sell comics
at the dry cleaners.
No?
Perhaps they sell comics
at the mattress store
No!
Perhaps you could buy your
comics at that new
comic bookstore
across the street?
Philip K. Dick.
It can't be.
It's as if Superman
moved to Gotham City.
Which he did,
in World's Finest Comics n?24.
See.
That was an imaginary
story dreamt
by Jimmy Olsen after he
was kicked in the head
by Supergirl's horse, Comet.
It never really happened.
None of these things
ever really happened.
Get out of my store.
Grand opening!
Hey what up, you guys?
How g-g-g-goes it?
My name's Milo,
and this is Coolsville.
Now listen, before everyone chills
with some sweet comic B's,
everyone gets a free piece
of Japanese hard candy.
One for you.
Short kid in back.
Down low.
Go long.
I got prawn.
Mmm.
I got miso.
Mmm.
I got dolphin.
Now, I hope you
all like Korean
pop covers of
Tom Jones songs,
'cause they're about
to be blasted.
Hanyong, pussycat?
Wah, wah, wah-ah...
Hanyong, pussycat...
Wah, wah,
wah-aaaaaaaaaaah...
pussycat, pussycat,
Asterix!
Tintin!
I heard these only existed
in high school French classes.
Come on, Snowy, we
must save the Belgian
ambassador from
the Black Orchid Gang.
What's that?
A sound of ignition?
Zut, alors!
This castle is actually
a four-stage rocket
and it's headed straight
for the Pompidou Center.
Oh, no, I ripped it.
Hey, no worries,
little lady.
These books are meant to
be read and enjoyed,
not hoarded and then sold
when you get divorced.
Wow!
He's so cool.
All right,
I get it.
You're cool,
you're not "mainstream,"
You wear a porkpie hat.
Mmm... porkpie.
But let's see what you know
about superheroes.
Hey, I'm all about
the capes.
Flame on.
Who's stronger?
The Thung or The Mulk?
And show your work.
Whoa, oh, head rush.
Okay,
well, the Mulk kicked a
tidal wave into the sun,
whereas...
The Thung gave a piggyback
ride to the 1985 Chicago Bears.
Hoo, boy, that's a tough one.
What do you think?
You want to know what I think?
Does Galactus eat planets?
Of course I do.
Wow.
I was in such a bad relationship
with my ex-Comic Book Guy,
I'd forgotten how good it could be.
Mmm.
Bye, Bart.
Enjoy your funny books.
Look, Maggie,
I'm Wonder Woman.
Oh.
I've lost my perfect
26-26-26 figure.
Never compare yourself to a standee.
Hey, you're way skinnier
than a lot of superheroes.
Girthquake, Flaberella.
Kearney's Mom.
Shut up!
Her depression medication
makes her bloated.
She's depressed 'cause you're so lame.
Shut up!
Ooh, I'd better join a gym
before I go from hippy to hippo.
I wish my Mom said
cute things like that.
She can't 'cause she's depressed.
Shut up.
Look at all these alternative
comic book creators.
Alan Moore,
Art Spiegelman.
Oh, Dan Clowes.
I really identified with
the girls in Ghost World.
They made me feel
like I wasn't so alone.
Yeah, yeah, whatever.
Do you know anyone who works at Batman?
'Cause I really want to draw Batman.
I'm awesome at utility belts.
Check these out.
This is where the Batman
keeps his money
in case he has to
take the bus.
Alan Moore,
you wrote my favorite
issues of Radioactive Man.
Oh, really.
So you'd like that I made your
favorite superhero a heroin-addicted
jazz critic who's not radioactive?
I don't read the words.
I just like when he
punches people.
How do you make his costume
stick so close this muscles?
Mr. Moore,
will you sign my DVD of Watchmen Babies?
Which of the babies
is your favorite?
You see what those
bloody corporations do?
They take your ideas and they suck them!
Suck them like leeches
until they've gotten
every last drop of the
marrow from your bones!
Hey, Teacup,
why don't you chill out?
Very well.
Oh, little Lulu,
I love you-lu, just the same.
Ah!
Attention, comic book aficionados!
This man is not one of us!
He has a girlfriend!
My name's Strawberry.
My purse is a lunchbox.
Now listen up,
my wayward little fanboys.
I have the most wonderful news.
My store now sells ninja weapons.
You would sell weapons
of the Orient to children?
That is weak.
Face the facts, has-been.
This man is the comic book
guy our town deserves.
Very well,
I guess the mature thing to do is...
Oh, no!
The store's in trouble!
League of Extraordinary Freelancers,
activate!
Maus is in the house!
How do ya like this punch line?
Ooh, L.A!
This could be the gym for me.
You're gonna get so ripped here.
We've got Tummy Tone with Sasha,
Power Bounce with Zach D.,
Zen Abs with Zach G.,
and you've just gotta try
Mommy and Me kickboxing!
Who thought walking
could be so difficult?
Well, I'm sure everyone else
is having trouble, too.
Maybe I'll just hit the showers.
Marge, you missed a spot.
Oh, I wish there was a gym
for us regular ladies.
"Rules: no men,
no cell phones,
no mirrors, no shame."
Marge, I wish you well,
but why would women
want to go to a gym if
there were no men there
watching them and judging them?
We're gonna be rich!
We can finally start a family!
We have a family.
A better one!
Switch stations!
I love this gym.
Me, too!
Finally, an exercise bike
for women of a certain age
Jurassic!
Mom, every workout appointment
is booked up for months!
We'll have to open a second Shapes.
We just need to find a
vacant rental property.
I can't believe the labor
board is shutting me down!
You lock your workers in
at night.
It's so they can't tell their stories!
Mr. Krusty came
to my village.
He said he would marry me.
No ring!
Just fill apple
pies all day!
Today's guest created
the women's-only gym
that's taking the
tri-county area by storm:
Marge...
Simpson!
Marge, I thank you for creating Shapes
and, uh, my boyfriend thanks you, too.
When is Straightman
gonna pop the question?
You're all getting German cuckoo clocks!
And you're getting
a cuckoo clock!
And you're getting
a cuckoo clock!
And you're getting
a cuckoo clock!
And you're getting
a cuckoo clock!
Oh, yeah, Marge,
I love these business
trips of yours.
The TV remote isn't nailed on!
My whole life, I've never been
in a hotel that trusted me.
Hors d'oeuvres,
big fancy desserts...
and my wife is paying
for everything.
Now I know why pimps are so happy.
Yep, nothing beats
living on "wife-support."
I hear that.
Yo guys, come meet a new husband!
Hey, how ya doin'?
I'm Homer.
My wife invented a gym for
"regular" women.
My wife invented
"Skipills", she mixed
vitamins with Alka-Seltzer
and pretended it was medicine.
I pay ten dollars a tube for those!
That's why I drive a Bentley.
Yeah, I haven't decided
what kind of new car to get.
Well, you'd better
decide soon.
'Cause I have a feeling your wife
will also be getting a "new model."
Yeah, she'll be "trading up."
And they're not
talking about cars.
Are you sure they're
not talking about cars?
Because those are car words.
Homer, we're all
second husbands.
As soon as our wives hit it big,
they dumped the fat old guys
they were with and married us.
- Yes!
- Yes!
Marge won't dump me.
I'm the anchor that
keeps her weighed down.
Here's how it starts:
she gets a total makeover,
and she starts wearing
fancy new clothes.
Then she stops wanting to
tell you about her day.
Wha...?
Here's how you know
she's really about to go:
your wife seems happy
and full of life.
That will never happen!
Marge!
Marge!
A makeover!
Oh, my God!
The prophecy
is being fulfilled.
so,
tell me about your day.
Oh, you don't want
to hear about
my boring old day.
I do! I do!
Well, the first inspirational
speech of the day
was by the woman who
climbed Mount Everest and
got everyone else killed.
Hey, the networks
have different
channels in this city.
That's okay.
I don't care that
you don't care.
Go watch your thing.
Are you happy and
full of life?
I sure am!
Marge, now that
you're rich,
you really should get rid of that bag.
Really?
But I'm so used to my old one.
Old one?
They're convincing Marge to dump me!
Oh, it's easy.
I get a new one
every two years.
From Italy!
You would love
a big black one.
Marge, get away
from them!
What's gotten
into you?
I'm going to the successful ladies room!
You guys got
to help me!
If Marge leaves,
I'll have nothing except my many friends
and half the fortune she is now making
and will continue to make.
Homer, I'm going to
let you in on a secret.
I am a first husband.
I used to look like this.
Huh?
What's your secret?
Oh, there's no secret.
Just hard work....
Uh-huh.
...exercise two hours a day...
Okay.
...keep up with
the latest fashions...
Fashions.
...and of course, cut out all
the fatty foods and alcohol.
Uh-huh, uh-huh.
Got it.
I know just what it'll
take to hang on to Marge.
Mr. Simpson, let me outline
the gastric bypass surgery
procedure for you,
okay?
We put a band around your stomach
so that no solid food may enter.
You see, just like so.
It's a very, very serious operation.
You should only undergo
it as a last resort.
Please, Doc. I know I'm not
the greatest-looking guy in the world,
but I took care of my family,
and that used to be enough.
But not anymore.
Very well.
If you wish,
we can perform the
procedure in the office today.
And I know how I can knock myself out.
I'll look at your bill.
I guess, considering all the training
you've received,
this is quite reasonable.
I've never seen anything
so reasonable!
It's the bargain of a lifetime!
And...
Dad, are you okay?
I see food on your plate
instead of blurring motions.
Kids,
your daddy underwent a special procedure
so he can be more
attractiveto your mother.
You had your hot dog plumped?
No, I had my stomach stapled!
All food tastes like barf now.
Homie, I'm back!
Welcome home, Marge.
You remembered I like romance!
A smart successful woman like
you deserves the very best.
You also remembered I like flattery!
Do you like guys who are...
attractive?
Homie, you look good!
All for you, baby.
Let me get a good
look at you!
Slow down, sexy beast.
Why don't you take some time
to savor the front?
What are you hiding from me?
Is it chocolate?
Uh, it used to be.
Those buns are poppin' fresh!
Yeah, I'm gonna turn off the light now.
And I'll just fold
this old sweaty blanket
and put it in the closet.
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
Doctor, I'm embarrassed
to show my body to my wife,
and it's all because of your surgery!
You want me to unstaple your stomach?
No,
I want you to give me
every other surgery you have
so I can look good!
And can you call it an
aortic valve replacement
so my insurance will cover it?
No problem.
Okay.
Count backwards from ten.
Fine, I admit it.
I'm drunk!
And so, to honor her success,
I bestow upon Marge Simpson
this $100 gift card
to Sweatpants Etcetera.
Did someone order a super stud?
My implants feel itchy.
Yes, I was out of silicone rubber.
so I used rolled-up socks.
He's a monster!
Pitchforks, everyone.
Monster!
Monster!
Monster!
Monster!
Cut his heart out!
Different from us!
Different from us!
Different...
Listen, Homer,
I got to be honest with you.
You'd better not make me cry,
'cause I don't know where
my tear ducts are anymore.
I appreciate you trying
to become more
attractivefor me, but the truth is,
I'm way too successful for you now.
I'm getting me a trophy husband!
I don't want to live without you, Marge.
Okay.
No!
What...?
Why do I look like me again?
The doctor called me about all
the crazy surgeries you wanted,
and I said no.
But I did have him unstaple your stomach
and turn you back into
the sweet man I love.
Then it was all a dream?
I never became a hideous monster?
The only person who
thinks you're a monster
is the one who had to
give you a sponge bath.
And Dad, I hope you
learned something from this.
I sure have.
Plastic surgery is a mistake,
because it hasn't been perfected
to where you look really good.
When it is, everyone should get it.
Amen.
Listen, Marge,
I've been wondering all these years,
why is it about me that
you find so irresistible?
Let's face it
you could do better.
Well, maybe I could.
But every time I look at you,
I see the same adorable
boyI fell in love with.
Well, there's nothing
like a happy ending.
Holy heavens!
Is that a meteor heading for the Earth?
Maybe.
But tonight there's a benefit
for underpaid comic book
artists of the forties and fifties.
To the cash bar!
Hanyong, pussycat?
Wah, wah, wah-ah...
Husbands and Knives
The pilgrims were not
illegal aliens
Lame, lame,
lame, lame, have it, lame,
Superman Dies, Aquaman Dies,
Casper Dies,
Caveman Robin, Black Robin,
Born-Again Robin.
The infamous Wolverine comic
with pop-out claws.
Why was this
so controversial?
Nice work,
Doctor Boo-Who.
Your tears have smudged
Wolverine's iconic sideburns.
Hence, you must buy this comic.
And the cost of your
innocent accident is....
$25, please.
But that's the money Yaya Sofia
gave me for Greek
Orthodox Easter.
I hate when they tell me
things about themselves.
You should stop being
so mean to us kids.
Well, I suppose you could buy
your comics somewhere else.
Maybe they sell comics
at the dry cleaners.
No?
Perhaps they sell comics
at the mattress store
No!
Perhaps you could buy your
comics at that new
comic bookstore
across the street?
Philip K. Dick.
It can't be.
It's as if Superman
moved to Gotham City.
Which he did,
in World's Finest Comics n?24.
See.
That was an imaginary
story dreamt
by Jimmy Olsen after he
was kicked in the head
by Supergirl's horse, Comet.
It never really happened.
None of these things
ever really happened.
Get out of my store.
Grand opening!
Hey what up, you guys?
How g-g-g-goes it?
My name's Milo,
and this is Coolsville.
Now listen, before everyone chills
with some sweet comic B's,
everyone gets a free piece
of Japanese hard candy.
One for you.
Short kid in back.
Down low.
Go long.
I got prawn.
Mmm.
I got miso.
Mmm.
I got dolphin.
Now, I hope you
all like Korean
pop covers of
Tom Jones songs,
'cause they're about
to be blasted.
Hanyong, pussycat?
Wah, wah, wah-ah...
Hanyong, pussycat...
Wah, wah,
wah-aaaaaaaaaaah...
pussycat, pussycat,
Asterix!
Tintin!
I heard these only existed
in high school French classes.
Come on, Snowy, we
must save the Belgian
ambassador from
the Black Orchid Gang.
What's that?
A sound of ignition?
Zut, alors!
This castle is actually
a four-stage rocket
and it's headed straight
for the Pompidou Center.
Oh, no, I ripped it.
Hey, no worries,
little lady.
These books are meant to
be read and enjoyed,
not hoarded and then sold
when you get divorced.
Wow!
He's so cool.
All right,
I get it.
You're cool,
you're not "mainstream,"
You wear a porkpie hat.
Mmm... porkpie.
But let's see what you know
about superheroes.
Hey, I'm all about
the capes.
Flame on.
Who's stronger?
The Thung or The Mulk?
And show your work.
Whoa, oh, head rush.
Okay,
well, the Mulk kicked a
tidal wave into the sun,
whereas...
The Thung gave a piggyback
ride to the 1985 Chicago Bears.
Hoo, boy, that's a tough one.
What do you think?
You want to know what I think?
Does Galactus eat planets?
Of course I do.
Wow.
I was in such a bad relationship
with my ex-Comic Book Guy,
I'd forgotten how good it could be.
Mmm.
Bye, Bart.
Enjoy your funny books.
Look, Maggie,
I'm Wonder Woman.
Oh.
I've lost my perfect
26-26-26 figure.
Never compare yourself to a standee.
Hey, you're way skinnier
than a lot of superheroes.
Girthquake, Flaberella.
Kearney's Mom.
Shut up!
Her depression medication
makes her bloated.
She's depressed 'cause you're so lame.
Shut up!
Ooh, I'd better join a gym
before I go from hippy to hippo.
I wish my Mom said
cute things like that.
She can't 'cause she's depressed.
Shut up.
Look at all these alternative
comic book creators.
Alan Moore,
Art Spiegelman.
Oh, Dan Clowes.
I really identified with
the girls in Ghost World.
They made me feel
like I wasn't so alone.
Yeah, yeah, whatever.
Do you know anyone who works at Batman?
'Cause I really want to draw Batman.
I'm awesome at utility belts.
Check these out.
This is where the Batman
keeps his money
in case he has to
take the bus.
Alan Moore,
you wrote my favorite
issues of Radioactive Man.
Oh, really.
So you'd like that I made your
favorite superhero a heroin-addicted
jazz critic who's not radioactive?
I don't read the words.
I just like when he
punches people.
How do you make his costume
stick so close this muscles?
Mr. Moore,
will you sign my DVD of Watchmen Babies?
Which of the babies
is your favorite?
You see what those
bloody corporations do?
They take your ideas and they suck them!
Suck them like leeches
until they've gotten
every last drop of the
marrow from your bones!
Hey, Teacup,
why don't you chill out?
Very well.
Oh, little Lulu,
I love you-lu, just the same.
Ah!
Attention, comic book aficionados!
This man is not one of us!
He has a girlfriend!
My name's Strawberry.
My purse is a lunchbox.
Now listen up,
my wayward little fanboys.
I have the most wonderful news.
My store now sells ninja weapons.
You would sell weapons
of the Orient to children?
That is weak.
Face the facts, has-been.
This man is the comic book
guy our town deserves.
Very well,
I guess the mature thing to do is...
Oh, no!
The store's in trouble!
League of Extraordinary Freelancers,
activate!
Maus is in the house!
How do ya like this punch line?
Ooh, L.A!
This could be the gym for me.
You're gonna get so ripped here.
We've got Tummy Tone with Sasha,
Power Bounce with Zach D.,
Zen Abs with Zach G.,
and you've just gotta try
Mommy and Me kickboxing!
Who thought walking
could be so difficult?
Well, I'm sure everyone else
is having trouble, too.
Maybe I'll just hit the showers.
Marge, you missed a spot.
Oh, I wish there was a gym
for us regular ladies.
"Rules: no men,
no cell phones,
no mirrors, no shame."
Marge, I wish you well,
but why would women
want to go to a gym if
there were no men there
watching them and judging them?
We're gonna be rich!
We can finally start a family!
We have a family.
A better one!
Switch stations!
I love this gym.
Me, too!
Finally, an exercise bike
for women of a certain age
Jurassic!
Mom, every workout appointment
is booked up for months!
We'll have to open a second Shapes.
We just need to find a
vacant rental property.
I can't believe the labor
board is shutting me down!
You lock your workers in
at night.
It's so they can't tell their stories!
Mr. Krusty came
to my village.
He said he would marry me.
No ring!
Just fill apple
pies all day!
Today's guest created
the women's-only gym
that's taking the
tri-county area by storm:
Marge...
Simpson!
Marge, I thank you for creating Shapes
and, uh, my boyfriend thanks you, too.
When is Straightman
gonna pop the question?
You're all getting German cuckoo clocks!
And you're getting
a cuckoo clock!
And you're getting
a cuckoo clock!
And you're getting
a cuckoo clock!
And you're getting
a cuckoo clock!
Oh, yeah, Marge,
I love these business
trips of yours.
The TV remote isn't nailed on!
My whole life, I've never been
in a hotel that trusted me.
Hors d'oeuvres,
big fancy desserts...
and my wife is paying
for everything.
Now I know why pimps are so happy.
Yep, nothing beats
living on "wife-support."
I hear that.
Yo guys, come meet a new husband!
Hey, how ya doin'?
I'm Homer.
My wife invented a gym for
"regular" women.
My wife invented
"Skipills", she mixed
vitamins with Alka-Seltzer
and pretended it was medicine.
I pay ten dollars a tube for those!
That's why I drive a Bentley.
Yeah, I haven't decided
what kind of new car to get.
Well, you'd better
decide soon.
'Cause I have a feeling your wife
will also be getting a "new model."
Yeah, she'll be "trading up."
And they're not
talking about cars.
Are you sure they're
not talking about cars?
Because those are car words.
Homer, we're all
second husbands.
As soon as our wives hit it big,
they dumped the fat old guys
they were with and married us.
- Yes!
- Yes!
Marge won't dump me.
I'm the anchor that
keeps her weighed down.
Here's how it starts:
she gets a total makeover,
and she starts wearing
fancy new clothes.
Then she stops wanting to
tell you about her day.
Wha...?
Here's how you know
she's really about to go:
your wife seems happy
and full of life.
That will never happen!
Marge!
Marge!
A makeover!
Oh, my God!
The prophecy
is being fulfilled.
so,
tell me about your day.
Oh, you don't want
to hear about
my boring old day.
I do! I do!
Well, the first inspirational
speech of the day
was by the woman who
climbed Mount Everest and
got everyone else killed.
Hey, the networks
have different
channels in this city.
That's okay.
I don't care that
you don't care.
Go watch your thing.
Are you happy and
full of life?
I sure am!
Marge, now that
you're rich,
you really should get rid of that bag.
Really?
But I'm so used to my old one.
Old one?
They're convincing Marge to dump me!
Oh, it's easy.
I get a new one
every two years.
From Italy!
You would love
a big black one.
Marge, get away
from them!
What's gotten
into you?
I'm going to the successful ladies room!
You guys got
to help me!
If Marge leaves,
I'll have nothing except my many friends
and half the fortune she is now making
and will continue to make.
Homer, I'm going to
let you in on a secret.
I am a first husband.
I used to look like this.
Huh?
What's your secret?
Oh, there's no secret.
Just hard work....
Uh-huh.
...exercise two hours a day...
Okay.
...keep up with
the latest fashions...
Fashions.
...and of course, cut out all
the fatty foods and alcohol.
Uh-huh, uh-huh.
Got it.
I know just what it'll
take to hang on to Marge.
Mr. Simpson, let me outline
the gastric bypass surgery
procedure for you,
okay?
We put a band around your stomach
so that no solid food may enter.
You see, just like so.
It's a very, very serious operation.
You should only undergo
it as a last resort.
Please, Doc. I know I'm not
the greatest-looking guy in the world,
but I took care of my family,
and that used to be enough.
But not anymore.
Very well.
If you wish,
we can perform the
procedure in the office today.
And I know how I can knock myself out.
I'll look at your bill.
I guess, considering all the training
you've received,
this is quite reasonable.
I've never seen anything
so reasonable!
It's the bargain of a lifetime!
And...
Dad, are you okay?
I see food on your plate
instead of blurring motions.
Kids,
your daddy underwent a special procedure
so he can be more
attractiveto your mother.
You had your hot dog plumped?
No, I had my stomach stapled!
All food tastes like barf now.
Homie, I'm back!
Welcome home, Marge.
You remembered I like romance!
A smart successful woman like
you deserves the very best.
You also remembered I like flattery!
Do you like guys who are...
attractive?
Homie, you look good!
All for you, baby.
Let me get a good
look at you!
Slow down, sexy beast.
Why don't you take some time
to savor the front?
What are you hiding from me?
Is it chocolate?
Uh, it used to be.
Those buns are poppin' fresh!
Yeah, I'm gonna turn off the light now.
And I'll just fold
this old sweaty blanket
and put it in the closet.
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
Doctor, I'm embarrassed
to show my body to my wife,
and it's all because of your surgery!
You want me to unstaple your stomach?
No,
I want you to give me
every other surgery you have
so I can look good!
And can you call it an
aortic valve replacement
so my insurance will cover it?
No problem.
Okay.
Count backwards from ten.
Fine, I admit it.
I'm drunk!
And so, to honor her success,
I bestow upon Marge Simpson
this $100 gift card
to Sweatpants Etcetera.
Did someone order a super stud?
My implants feel itchy.
Yes, I was out of silicone rubber.
so I used rolled-up socks.
He's a monster!
Pitchforks, everyone.
Monster!
Monster!
Monster!
Monster!
Cut his heart out!
Different from us!
Different from us!
Different...
Listen, Homer,
I got to be honest with you.
You'd better not make me cry,
'cause I don't know where
my tear ducts are anymore.
I appreciate you trying
to become more
attractivefor me, but the truth is,
I'm way too successful for you now.
I'm getting me a trophy husband!
I don't want to live without you, Marge.
Okay.
No!
What...?
Why do I look like me again?
The doctor called me about all
the crazy surgeries you wanted,
and I said no.
But I did have him unstaple your stomach
and turn you back into
the sweet man I love.
Then it was all a dream?
I never became a hideous monster?
The only person who
thinks you're a monster
is the one who had to
give you a sponge bath.
And Dad, I hope you
learned something from this.
I sure have.
Plastic surgery is a mistake,
because it hasn't been perfected
to where you look really good.
When it is, everyone should get it.
Amen.
Listen, Marge,
I've been wondering all these years,
why is it about me that
you find so irresistible?
Let's face it
you could do better.
Well, maybe I could.
But every time I look at you,
I see the same adorable
boyI fell in love with.
Well, there's nothing
like a happy ending.
Holy heavens!
Is that a meteor heading for the Earth?
Maybe.
But tonight there's a benefit
for underpaid comic book
artists of the forties and fifties.
To the cash bar!
Hanyong, pussycat?
Wah, wah, wah-ah...