The Sex Lives of College Girls (2021–…): Season 2, Episode 10 - The Rooming Lottery - full transcript
♪ ♪
- Ladies, no!
- No running in the halls!
What the fuck?
♪ Kappa girls are we,
and everywhere we are ♪
♪ We wear the sacred letters,
- It's 7:45 in the morning.
- What is happening?
Is she in trouble,
or are they celebrating her?
- I don't know.
- I'm just copying to be safe.
Leighton Murray, you have
been elected
Kappa Social Chair
for next year!
Me?
Do you accept this crucial role
- in our sisterhood?
- I do!
The position comes with one
of the absolute best rooms
in the house.
I'm so excited
for you to move in.
Whoa. So you're, like, moving
to Kappa next year?
- Um, uh, yeah.
- Yeah, I guess I am.
Let's go, ladies.
♪ Kappa girls are we,
and everywhere we are ♪
♪ We wear the sacred letters,
♪ Kappa girls are we,
and everywhere we are... ♪
- Wait.
- Where's Kimberly?
I just got pulled into their
group like a riptide.
Hoo.
♪ Apply pressure, so extra ♪
♪ They say I'm doing too much
'cause they're basic ♪
♪ 'Bout to level up again,
so they hate this ♪
♪ I'm showing them... ♪
All right, everyone,
as you know,
the year is nearing its end,
and your housing forms
are due soon.
If you don't submit one,
you'll have to enter
the rooming lottery.
And live with the weirdos
and losers no one else wants?
Oh, no, thank you.
That sounds bleak as hell.
Truth.
Well, as y'all heard at dawn,
I'm moving into Kappa,
and I am feeling very blessed.
So please do remove me
from this floor's text thread.
- Damn, okay.
- And for those of you
who haven't figured it out yet,
I advise you to think on it.
The deadline is coming up fast.
Uh, Frude, related question...
If someone sort of destroyed
their walls
by putting up wallpaper
using cheap glue,
would his or her or their
parents be charged for that?
- Most definitely.
- Okay.
Uh, second related question...
Does anyone here
have some spackle?
♪ Driving for hours ♪
♪ And passed your house ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Down to the moment
and still I found ♪
Hey.
- Can I ask you something?
- Um, yeah, for sure.
What's up?
Do you want to room
with me again next year?
Oh, my gosh, yes,
I was thinking the same thing,
but I felt like a total loser
for asking.
Totally. I have zero interest
in moving into the Kappa house.
And I like that we already know
each other's quirks.
Oh, what are my quirks?
Wait.
Actually, I don't want to know.
Okay.
But sometimes you talk to
someone named Grandma Joan
- in your sleep.
- Oh, I've heard that before.
People gossiped
a lot about it at camp.
Um, should we consider a triple
and include Bela
or, uh, doubles and just us?
Maybe we consider both?
Sure.
- Hey, guys.
- Bela.
When the door is closed,
you knock.
It's the end of the year.
Those rules don't apply anymore.
Look at this... I'm in
a magazine, and I look great.
You do, sitting at the piano
looking like a sexy Beethoven.
- Ah.
- I can't wait to read it.
- But I got to get to class.
- Ugh. Fine.
But, Kimberly, clear out your
schedule because we're gonna
pass these out to every student
on campus.
Ooh, how many copies
did you grab?
- Like, 75.
- Come on.
Hey, read this. I'm featured
on pages 31 and 32.
Oh, and in the table
of contents.
Bela, you come off
amazing in this.
I know, right?
Dude, this could be,
like, huge for my career.
I sent it to Tina. Fey
at all the big emails.
I'm so happy for you.
You've been working so hard,
and it's finally paying off.
Thanks, man.
Hey, uh, have you and Whit
talked about housing stuff
- for next year yet?
- Oh. Um, no.
- What were you thinking?
- I'm gonna move off-campus
with Evangeline and Joe
from the comedy magazine.
- Oh, okay, that makes sense.
- Yeah, it's gonna be great.
We're gonna live together,
write together,
maybe try drugs together.
It's gonna be like "SNL"
from the '70s
but, like, with way more women
and nonwhites.
Okay.
We'll still hang out
all the time, though.
- Yeah, for sure.
- Bela!
- This article rules.
- Aw, that's so sweet.
Um, this is Jorja.
She's one of the newer writers
from "The Foxy."
Hey, I'd love to send you
some pieces, um,
I've been working on and get
your thoughts on them.
- I'd be happy to help.
- Oh, my God, thank you.
Amazing.
I'll text you later.
That was awesome.
- You're like a campus celebrity.
- I know, right? I kind of am.
Ah, you're more famous
than that chubby squirrel
we feed French fries to.
Oh, my God,
I haven't seen him in a while.
Me neither.
Oh, no.
Well, then with all due respect,
President Lacey is a giant
penis who hates all women.
Quote me, bitch!
We are making friends
like usual, huh?
Essex just cut
our funding in half.
- Seriously?
- This is gonna kill us.
- Wait. Why would they do that?
- Uh, I don't know.
Maybe because the cis,
white, hetero, male board
doesn't care about women
or trans or non binary folk.
Why don't you take a seat?
Help us figure out
what we can do.
No, I'm good.
I, um... I was just popping in
on my way to
a very important Kappa event.
Oh, something that no one has
ever said in this building.
Well, I am sure you'll find
your fix, okay?
But for the future,
why don't you just let Tova
handle the calls, okay?
They are much more
likable than you.
I just said that about myself.
- Good news, everyone...
- Guess who just made us $40
by donating blood
at two different locations?
- Ginger, are you okay?
- You look really pale.
- I can't lose this place!
- Okay.
♪ Yeah, I just wanna... ♪
Hey. When you're done
with that work,
- can I talk to you for a sec?
- Oh, this isn't work.
I'm trying to figure out
what it's called
when 4 people 69.
I think it's 138-ing.
Well, I feel kind of weird
for saying this,
but I think I have feelings
for a coworker.
Kimberly, I am so flattered,
but I don't see you that way.
- This is about Canaan.
- I don't know what to do.
Obviously, I can't talk
to my roommates about it
because of Whitney and him.
Listen, I totally get
why you're into him.
Canaan is a hot boy
with rippling muscles
and two heaping scoops of ass.
But you and I both know
that you can't act on this.
It could totally blow up
your friend group,
your rooming situation,
and your work life.
It ain't worth it.
I know, but maybe he has
feelings for me, too.
- He does not.
- How do you know?
I know his type,
and you're not it.
He told me you remind him
of his third-grade teacher.
Maybe she was really cool.
- He said she had cankles.
- Oh, got it.
And that would be you
in the situation.
- Yeah, I said "I got it."
- I'm so sorry.
I feel like I shot Bambi.
But if I were you,
I would avoid him
for the rest of the year
and forget about it.
Yeah, I know you're right.
Listen, we all have crushes
that we can't act on,
like me
and the Pepsi delivery guy.
Sure, I left him Polaroids
of my tits in his truck,
but that is as far as I'll take
it because I'm a professional.
- Oh, I think he can hear you.
- Yeah, I want him to.
Hey, Jorge!
♪ Yeah,
we got it like that ♪
♪ Yeah,
we got it like that ♪
- You're declaring your major?
- Yeah.
I'm officially
on the biochemistry
and biophysics track.
So you're gonna do the same
major as your boyfriend?
- He is not my boyfriend.
- Hmm.
But I do think
I'm his girlfriend... it's bad.
Whitney, you don't like him.
You need to end this before you
take 30 more classes with him
and end up marrying his ass.
I will handle it.
I am going to talk to him today.
Great. You've only tried
to break up with him
two other times before, so
hopefully this one will stick.
♪ Duh, duh-duh, duh, duh,
yeah, yeah ♪
♪ Making me go boy crazy ♪
♪ All of a sudden,
baby, I... ♪
How's everyone doing?
What the hell, Bela?
This article is entirely
about you.
It literally says your name
more than the name
of our magazine.
How did this happen?
- I'm so sorry.
- I have no idea.
I would have assumed he would
have written about all of us.
Maybe the reporter has a crush
on me or something.
Nice try.
He's seeing someone,
which he told me
after he rejected me brutally.
Then I have no idea
how this happened.
This is so strange.
It makes it look like you
created "The Foxy"
all by yourself.
Did he show this to you
before he printed it?
No. If he had, I would have
asked him to Photoshop
my boobs to look bigger.
You know what?
I-I'll reach out
to him right now
and make sure he prints
a retraction.
- It's fine.
- Let's just forget it.
I don't think I can.
In fact, you're uninvited
to my half-birthday party.
For those of you who are coming,
I'm registered at Claire's.
And I would like it
if at least one of you RSVP'd.
You can right now vocally.
- No.
- Uh-uh.
Let's get back to work.
♪ ♪
There she is.
Hi, honey.
Hi, Dad.
Hey, um, can we talk
about the shirt?
Yes. I just wanted
to show the world
- how much I support you.
- That's great.
It just makes it seem like
you're proud to be a gay dad.
- Because I am.
- And I just want...
Oh.
That's why the barista
called me "zaddy."
Yes.
- Oh, sweetheart.
- Hi.
- Oh, you look great.
- Thanks.
And your father told me.
- That I'm a lesbian?
- Yes, I am.
I just wish you felt comfortable
telling me yourself.
You are not exactly
the chillest.
I seem to remember you crying
when I asked to wear sneakers
on vacation.
It was St. Barts.
We could have run
into Lorne Michaels.
Well, I read several articles
about what to say to you.
So I acknowledge
your sexuality, and I love you.
Love you, too.
So are you excited to go
to the Kappa Spring Festival?
Oh, honey, I have been
looking forward
to going to this event with you
since the moment you got in.
And I cannot wait to see
which of my classmates
have aged poorly.
Well, you girls have fun.
I'm off to destroy the only copy
of a very hurtful op-ed
I wrote in 1992.
♪ ♪
What are you doing?
I'm sifting through
a bag of beans.
Lila thinks she dropped
an AirPod in here.
- Hmm.
- What happened to your shirt?
Oh, I tripped and spilled
a gallon of oat milk on myself.
Oh. Ooh.
Oh, will I be seeing you
at the Theta party tonight?
- No.
- I don't think I can make it.
Too bad.
If you change your mind,
text me.
Yeah.
How do I look?
- Dry.
- Right.
See ya.
♪ Okay, okay ♪
♪ Yummy, yummy, yummy,
I can feel your tummy ♪
♪ You can eat it for dessert ♪
- There she is.
- Oh, my God.
Hi.
Ready to watch me
kill this presentation?
- Whoop-whoop.
- Yeah.
Is something up?
Uh...
yes, but don't worry about it.
I don't want to throw you off.
We can just talk after class.
- No, let's talk about it now...
- I'm not gonna be able to focus
on my experiment
if you don't tell me.
- I think we should break up.
- Shit.
Okay, it's not what I thought
you were gonna say.
I'm sorry.
No, it's... it's cool.
We're both super busy.
- So this is, like...
- Yeah.
- It's mutual.
- It's good.
- Are you sure?
- Yeah, I'm fine.
Let's get in there... as friends.
Come on.
So I'll keep titrating
the solution
until some precipitate forms,
which according
to my estimate should...
should, uh...
Sorry.
Lost my focus.
Um...
Dude, are you crying?
No, my eyes are just
really humid right now.
Anyway, so, if you'll focus
on the bottom of the beaker,
you'll see...
Okay, now, yes, I am crying.
I think I need a minute alone
in the hallway.
So, Ash lie...
are you excited to be Kappa
president next year?
Oh, my goodness, yes.
You know, I was president
my senior year.
Mm-hmm.
And I got us a computer
with the Internet on it.
- Oh, wow.
- You did.
Cool story, Mom.
- Buckle up, Ash lie.
- You're in for a lot.
I'm on the alumni board.
And every day it feels
like some new crisis.
- A Kappa crisis?
- Like what?
Did they install unflattering
lighting in the bathrooms?
No.
Did you hear what happened
at the Syracuse chapter?
No.
They banned
the word "sisterhood."
Why would they do that?
Well, they said
it's not accurate
and that some of their members
aren't women.
- What?
- Oh, I don't know.
I actually think
that's a good thing,
you know, to create
more inclusive language
for trans and non binary folks.
Well, I just think if you
don't see yourself as a woman,
- then form your own group.
- Mm.
Let us be sisters.
But how can they form
their own clubs with no support
or funding from the school,
you know?
Just to be clear, my best
friend is a homosexual.
- Ralph?
- Yes.
- Ah, love Ralph.
- Isn't he funny?
- I know!
- Sure. I'm gay, too.
But, um,
that is actually meaningless
in the context
of this conversation, isn't it?
Leight, can I borrow you
for a sec?
Look, I know these boomer alums
aren't the most up to date
on things,
but today
is sort of about getting
donation checks from them.
I promise, it's not
worth engaging.
Right, but if we don't engage
with them,
then who is going to?
Maybe just go talk
to somebody else.
♪ I got this feeling ♪
♪ I've been dreaming
in a sequence... ♪
Oh, Zoe, I don't mean
to rub it in,
but you really missed out on
not going to that econ banquet
- with Canaan.
- Huh?
What econ banquet?
The one where
Canaan got that award.
It was so fun,
and the food was so good.
I loaded up on soup,
and then I realized
it was just the appetizer.
Yeah, I don't know
what you're talking about.
- Really?
- Mm-hmm.
He said he invited you
before he invited me
and you were busy.
That definitely did not happen.
Will you excuse me a moment?
- Lila?
- Hmm?
You want to go to that
Theta party tonight?
Bitch, I've been going to go,
and I'm wearing a dress
that makes my tits sing.
Thanks again
for meeting up with me.
- Of course.
- I'm happy to.
Oh, and thank you for meeting
me during your final exam.
- No other times worked for me.
- You're just so impressive.
I want to learn
as much as I can from you.
So I read your packet.
And I think you should consider
quitting "The Foxy."
Quit?
Jorja, I think you're cool
and smart and funny.
And in that way,
you really remind me of myself.
But not everyone who's cool
and smart and funny
has what it takes to be
a comedy writer.
Okay.
Oh, you know what I think
you'd be great at?
- Advertising.
- What?
I bet you could write
really cute commercials
for, like, cleaning products
or, like, a clever yogurt ad.
I'm not really interested
in that.
Do you seriously not have
any feedback for me
on anything I wrote?
I could tell you all the things
that didn't really work in
here, but I just don't think
that's a good use
of either of our time.
Wow.
- At least you're honest.
- Always. You got this, Jorja.
I mean, not this
but something else.
Oh, did you want me
to throw this away for you?
♪ ♪
- Thank you so much for these.
- They're gonna do a lot of good.
Kappa kisses.
Bye.
- Honey?
- Hmm?
- Are you okay?
- You've been quiet all day.
- Yeah, I don't know.
- Uh...
I, um...
I don't think
I want this anymore.
- Oh, sweetie, here.
- What is going on?
I wanted to be in Kappa
just like you,
but I don't feel like me
when I'm here.
I think you've just changed.
- And that's okay.
- I'm really sorry.
I know how bad
that you wanted this for me.
And I just didn't want
to let you down.
Oh, no, no, stop.
I just want you to be happy.
If you don't want to be
in Kappa, then don't.
Life is too short
to waste on things
that don't bring you happiness.
That's why we don't see
Grandma anymore.
I love you, Mom.
Oh, I love you
so much, Leighton.
- Lovely to see you, Mimi.
- Oh, always a pleasure, Mona.
Kappa kisses.
Oh, what a dumb whore,
am I right?
Oh, my God.
You know, she once asked me
how to spell
the word "biscuit."
Mom, you are such a bitch.
Oh, my God, we would have been
good friends in college.
Oh, for sure,
we would have been.
♪ Can't hear
what you're saying ♪
Last pregame of freshman year.
- Let's go!
- Yeah!
Whoo!
♪ Just lose that attitude ♪
♪ You know, you know you got
to lose that attitude ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
♪ Give me, give me
all that I like ♪
God, I can't believe
this is the last shot
we'll take in this room...
I could cry.
Guys, can I just
say that this is
the hottest we've ever looked?
I mean, Whitney, that dress...
Serving purple and serving tits?
You look like a sexy Barney.
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
Listen, I'm single,
and I'm ready to end this year
with a bang.
- Ow!
- Okay, well, I am just excited
- to have fun with my girls.
- Aw, me too.
Holy shit.
- Hmm?
- Guys, stop!
- What's wrong?
- I'm getting canceled.
- What?
- This girl from "The Foxy"
is blasting my ass
on social media.
- I'm sure it's not that bad.
- Yeah.
"Five things I learned
at Essex's so-called
feminist comedy magazine."
- Maybe it's a nice post.
- She said she learned things.
"Bela Malhotra is
a misogynistic comedy dictator
who hates all women,
including herself"?
Fuck, this is so bad.
Oh, my God,
I'm gonna have to quit comedy
and become a pharmacist
like all my dumb cousins.
There has to be
a misunderstanding.
Yeah, agreed. I mean, you
definitely don't hate yourself.
If anything,
you like yourself too much.
Exactly.
Listen, just talk
to this girl tomorrow
- and smooth it over.
- Yeah.
You don't need to
let it ruin your night.
I'm with Whitney.
I mean, the girl has,
like, 40 followers, okay?
- Nobody will ever see that.
- Yeah, you're right.
All right, um, let's take
one more shot before we go.
- Yes!
- Thank you.
That's what I'm talking about.
Or we could take
a five-minute nap and then go.
- Are you fucking kidding me?
- All right.
♪ Is it desire? ♪
♪ ♪
- Shit!
- This party is going off!
My favorite bitches!
- What's up?
- Yeah!
Welcome
to the Dare or Dare Party.
You are obligated to do the dare
written on the bottom
of your cup.
- Oh!
- What kind of dares?
Oh, I read them all.
On this side of the table,
they're horny.
And here,
they're just plain nasty.
- I took one of both.
- Oh.
"Smash face with a redhead"?
- Ooh, I want that one.
- Okay.
- Thank you.
- Damn it, Jocelyn.
I'm not gonna jiggle
a stranger's tit at this party.
- "Twerk"?
- I can't twerk.
I wasn't allowed to dance
with my bottom half growing up.
We don't actually have
to do these, do we?
Oh, Jocelyn seems
to think we do.
Oh, my God.
That is a lot of tongue.
I brushed my teeth
so good tonight.
I am I, 000% making out
with someone at this party.
Ooh, let's pick out some hotties
and wing-woman each other hard.
- Ooh, okay, okay, sure.
- Let's see my options.
- Mm-hmm.
- Okay.
Oh, we got a guy slurping
a Taco Bell Fire Sauce packet
and a dude who's dancing
tragically off the beat.
Yeah, I don't think any
of these guys are my type.
So what are you looking for?
Um...
I will let you know
when I see it.
♪ ♪
- Hey.
- Hey.
I thought you said
you weren't coming?
- Uh, turns out I am and did.
- What are you doing?
Um, trying to find a cup with
a dare I actually want to do.
This one says "motorboat Lila,"
and it has her phone number.
Yeah, she definitely
wrote that one.
Can you just be a good citizen
and throw it out?
- Wait. What's that one?
- Uh...
"Kiss a stranger."
That one's not a bad one.
Well, we both know each other,
so you're in the clear, sir.
Yeah.
Yo, Canaan!
Oh, my friends just got here,
so I'm... I'ma...
- Yeah, of course. Go.
- Yeah. Okay, all right.
Yeah.
♪ I'm okay ♪
♪ Yeah, I'm happy
I need someone ♪
Ginger, love that you're
wearing a long coat indoors.
Thank you. It belonged
to my elderly neighbor.
But I can't stay long.
I gave blood twice again
this evening,
so I am feeling weak.
Also, I do not like the way
that guy is looking at me.
- Why don't you go sit down?
- Okay.
- I'll go deal with that later.
- You sure she's good?
She's fine.
- So how is Kappa?
- Um, I quit.
Oh, no.
Did you find
an even blonder place to live?
- Wait. Are you being serious?
- I am.
I decided I would rather spend
my time at the Women's Center,
you know, with, um, people
I actually like.
If this is because
you vandalized another statue
and got community service,
I will find out.
Um, also, I have this.
♪ ♪
Holy shit.
$30,000?
My mom was gonna donate it
to Kappa,
so I told her where
it would do better things.
This is going to
completely save us.
♪ ♪
I am so sorry.
I should not have done that.
- No, no, no, no.
- No, you should have.
What about your girl Tatum?
I ended things with her
the night
of your fundraiser, actually.
Because of how hot I looked
in my Elton John costume?
You know, I still have that.
- I could go get that right now.
- Shut up.
♪ I'm happy
I need your love ♪
♪ I'm happy I want your love ♪
♪ Yeah, I'm happy
I need someone ♪
Canaan, are you leaving?
Uh, Yeah, a bunch of us are
headed to a party on Edgewood.
You want to come with?
♪ ♪
No. I'm gonna stay.
- Have fun.
- Okay, bye.
♪ Run away, run away ♪
♪ Ru... ru... run away ♪
♪ Run away, yeah ♪
♪ ♪
- Bela.
- Hey!
Oh, there's a couch here that
they're trying to get rid of.
Should we take it
for the house next year?
They call it the sperm bank,
but we don't have
to call it that.
That post from Jorja
is so messed up.
- I know.
- Huge overreaction, right?
Comedy writers need
to have a thick skin.
Look at all the stuff
that happened to me
in "The Catullan."
Dude, we're not
agreeing with you.
What happened to you
at "The Catullan" was horrible,
and our magazine was created
to be a better alternative
to that toxic shit.
Don't you remember?
I mean, since you were the one
who created our group.
- Wait.
- Is that what this is about?
You guys are just mad
that I'm still getting
too much credit in that article.
We talked to the reporter, Bela.
- He showed you the article.
- You lied to us.
- That article was one thing.
- That was normal, selfish Bela.
But being that brutal to Jorja,
it's not okay.
And what Jorja put online
about you,
I'd say it was
pretty fucking well written.
- You're fired from "The Foxy."
- What?
Clearly, you're the only person
who lives up
to your own comedy standards.
- So go be funny alone.
- No, please don't do this.
It's gonna make living together
super awkward next year.
- We gave your room to Carla.
- Wait. We did?
- Oh.
- We did.
- Fine.
- Wait, guy...
♪ ♪
Fuck.
Hey, Lila, uh, can I ask you
a question?
I'm not currently
taking any questions.
My cup said I had to find
50 people to kiss,
and I've only found 34.
- Okay, 35.
- Happy to help.
- Have you seen Canaan?
- He left a little bit ago.
- Okay.
- Ooh, but if you see him,
let him know that he's gonna
open up Sips tomorrow
because I do plan
on calling out sick to myself.
- Okay.
- Mm-hmm.
Bye, 35.
Mm.
Hi, number 36.
You're cute.
Do you like your women much,
much taller than you?
♪ ♪
♪ Oh, there she goes again ♪
♪ Every morning
it's the same ♪
♪ You walk on by... ♪
- Canaan!
- Hey.
Hey.
Um, can I talk to you for a sec?
Yeah.
Y'all go on.
I'll catch up with you.
- What's up?
- You lied.
- I lied? About what?
- Zoe.
You never invited her
to that event.
She told me.
Why would you lie?
That's a great question...
Because that lie
would make no sense.
- You wanted me to go with you.
- You invited me first.
♪ Can't wait anymore... ♪
Fine. I did.
You trying to embarrass me
or something?
♪ In my dreams,
you're with me ♪
♪ We'll be everything
I want us to be ♪
♪ For the first time ♪
♪ Or is that just me
and my imagination? ♪
♪ We walk, we laugh ♪
♪ We spend our time
walking by the ocean side ♪
♪ Our hands
are gently intertwined ♪
♪ A feeling
I just can't describe ♪
♪ And all this time
we spent alone... ♪
So I have some news.
Alicia and I are back together.
- And I'm not gonna lie.
- Mm.
- I am really happy about it.
- Aw.
- Yay.
- Wait.
So, if you're not moving
into Kappa
and Bela's not living
off-campus anymore,
then we could all live together
next year...
I mean, if you all want.
- You know what?
- I'm down.
- What about you, Bela?
- Um...
Yeah, sorry. I'm just a
little distracted this morning.
Is this still about that girl
from the magazine?
Why don't you just talk
to her, right?
I'm sure she would be open
to hearing you out.
Yeah, totally. I have a
meeting about it at, uh, 10:15.
- Oh, great.
- Great.
Okay, good. I'm glad.
So, Kimberly,
how was your night?
Anything interesting happen?
No, not really.
♪ I left home
in the summer ♪
You can really taste
the peach in this one.
Yeah.
- Hey.
- Hey.
Um, so I heard Leighton turned
down that room for next year.
- Yeah.
- I want it.
- Okay.
- Take a seat.
♪ When I hugged my brother ♪
I was rude and disrespectful,
and I feel awful about it.
I came to Essex
for "The Catullan."
That blew up.
Um...
I, um, got kicked
out of this new group.
No one wants to work with me.
I have a 1.8 GPA.
I broke an amazing guy's heart
by being selfish.
All I want
is for people to like me,
but, um, I just keep
hurting people instead.
So I'd like to transfer.
♪ Do I want? ♪
♪ I awoke in a warm bath ♪
♪ With words still
in my head ♪
♪ ♪
♪ They remain unspoken ♪
♪ ♪
♪ And follow me to death ♪
♪ ♪
♪ What do I want? ♪
♪ Do I want ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Anything? ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Do you ever look back? ♪
♪ ♪
Go to bed.
- Ladies, no!
- No running in the halls!
What the fuck?
♪ Kappa girls are we,
and everywhere we are ♪
♪ We wear the sacred letters,
- It's 7:45 in the morning.
- What is happening?
Is she in trouble,
or are they celebrating her?
- I don't know.
- I'm just copying to be safe.
Leighton Murray, you have
been elected
Kappa Social Chair
for next year!
Me?
Do you accept this crucial role
- in our sisterhood?
- I do!
The position comes with one
of the absolute best rooms
in the house.
I'm so excited
for you to move in.
Whoa. So you're, like, moving
to Kappa next year?
- Um, uh, yeah.
- Yeah, I guess I am.
Let's go, ladies.
♪ Kappa girls are we,
and everywhere we are ♪
♪ We wear the sacred letters,
♪ Kappa girls are we,
and everywhere we are... ♪
- Wait.
- Where's Kimberly?
I just got pulled into their
group like a riptide.
Hoo.
♪ Apply pressure, so extra ♪
♪ They say I'm doing too much
'cause they're basic ♪
♪ 'Bout to level up again,
so they hate this ♪
♪ I'm showing them... ♪
All right, everyone,
as you know,
the year is nearing its end,
and your housing forms
are due soon.
If you don't submit one,
you'll have to enter
the rooming lottery.
And live with the weirdos
and losers no one else wants?
Oh, no, thank you.
That sounds bleak as hell.
Truth.
Well, as y'all heard at dawn,
I'm moving into Kappa,
and I am feeling very blessed.
So please do remove me
from this floor's text thread.
- Damn, okay.
- And for those of you
who haven't figured it out yet,
I advise you to think on it.
The deadline is coming up fast.
Uh, Frude, related question...
If someone sort of destroyed
their walls
by putting up wallpaper
using cheap glue,
would his or her or their
parents be charged for that?
- Most definitely.
- Okay.
Uh, second related question...
Does anyone here
have some spackle?
♪ Driving for hours ♪
♪ And passed your house ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Down to the moment
and still I found ♪
Hey.
- Can I ask you something?
- Um, yeah, for sure.
What's up?
Do you want to room
with me again next year?
Oh, my gosh, yes,
I was thinking the same thing,
but I felt like a total loser
for asking.
Totally. I have zero interest
in moving into the Kappa house.
And I like that we already know
each other's quirks.
Oh, what are my quirks?
Wait.
Actually, I don't want to know.
Okay.
But sometimes you talk to
someone named Grandma Joan
- in your sleep.
- Oh, I've heard that before.
People gossiped
a lot about it at camp.
Um, should we consider a triple
and include Bela
or, uh, doubles and just us?
Maybe we consider both?
Sure.
- Hey, guys.
- Bela.
When the door is closed,
you knock.
It's the end of the year.
Those rules don't apply anymore.
Look at this... I'm in
a magazine, and I look great.
You do, sitting at the piano
looking like a sexy Beethoven.
- Ah.
- I can't wait to read it.
- But I got to get to class.
- Ugh. Fine.
But, Kimberly, clear out your
schedule because we're gonna
pass these out to every student
on campus.
Ooh, how many copies
did you grab?
- Like, 75.
- Come on.
Hey, read this. I'm featured
on pages 31 and 32.
Oh, and in the table
of contents.
Bela, you come off
amazing in this.
I know, right?
Dude, this could be,
like, huge for my career.
I sent it to Tina. Fey
at all the big emails.
I'm so happy for you.
You've been working so hard,
and it's finally paying off.
Thanks, man.
Hey, uh, have you and Whit
talked about housing stuff
- for next year yet?
- Oh. Um, no.
- What were you thinking?
- I'm gonna move off-campus
with Evangeline and Joe
from the comedy magazine.
- Oh, okay, that makes sense.
- Yeah, it's gonna be great.
We're gonna live together,
write together,
maybe try drugs together.
It's gonna be like "SNL"
from the '70s
but, like, with way more women
and nonwhites.
Okay.
We'll still hang out
all the time, though.
- Yeah, for sure.
- Bela!
- This article rules.
- Aw, that's so sweet.
Um, this is Jorja.
She's one of the newer writers
from "The Foxy."
Hey, I'd love to send you
some pieces, um,
I've been working on and get
your thoughts on them.
- I'd be happy to help.
- Oh, my God, thank you.
Amazing.
I'll text you later.
That was awesome.
- You're like a campus celebrity.
- I know, right? I kind of am.
Ah, you're more famous
than that chubby squirrel
we feed French fries to.
Oh, my God,
I haven't seen him in a while.
Me neither.
Oh, no.
Well, then with all due respect,
President Lacey is a giant
penis who hates all women.
Quote me, bitch!
We are making friends
like usual, huh?
Essex just cut
our funding in half.
- Seriously?
- This is gonna kill us.
- Wait. Why would they do that?
- Uh, I don't know.
Maybe because the cis,
white, hetero, male board
doesn't care about women
or trans or non binary folk.
Why don't you take a seat?
Help us figure out
what we can do.
No, I'm good.
I, um... I was just popping in
on my way to
a very important Kappa event.
Oh, something that no one has
ever said in this building.
Well, I am sure you'll find
your fix, okay?
But for the future,
why don't you just let Tova
handle the calls, okay?
They are much more
likable than you.
I just said that about myself.
- Good news, everyone...
- Guess who just made us $40
by donating blood
at two different locations?
- Ginger, are you okay?
- You look really pale.
- I can't lose this place!
- Okay.
♪ Yeah, I just wanna... ♪
Hey. When you're done
with that work,
- can I talk to you for a sec?
- Oh, this isn't work.
I'm trying to figure out
what it's called
when 4 people 69.
I think it's 138-ing.
Well, I feel kind of weird
for saying this,
but I think I have feelings
for a coworker.
Kimberly, I am so flattered,
but I don't see you that way.
- This is about Canaan.
- I don't know what to do.
Obviously, I can't talk
to my roommates about it
because of Whitney and him.
Listen, I totally get
why you're into him.
Canaan is a hot boy
with rippling muscles
and two heaping scoops of ass.
But you and I both know
that you can't act on this.
It could totally blow up
your friend group,
your rooming situation,
and your work life.
It ain't worth it.
I know, but maybe he has
feelings for me, too.
- He does not.
- How do you know?
I know his type,
and you're not it.
He told me you remind him
of his third-grade teacher.
Maybe she was really cool.
- He said she had cankles.
- Oh, got it.
And that would be you
in the situation.
- Yeah, I said "I got it."
- I'm so sorry.
I feel like I shot Bambi.
But if I were you,
I would avoid him
for the rest of the year
and forget about it.
Yeah, I know you're right.
Listen, we all have crushes
that we can't act on,
like me
and the Pepsi delivery guy.
Sure, I left him Polaroids
of my tits in his truck,
but that is as far as I'll take
it because I'm a professional.
- Oh, I think he can hear you.
- Yeah, I want him to.
Hey, Jorge!
♪ Yeah,
we got it like that ♪
♪ Yeah,
we got it like that ♪
- You're declaring your major?
- Yeah.
I'm officially
on the biochemistry
and biophysics track.
So you're gonna do the same
major as your boyfriend?
- He is not my boyfriend.
- Hmm.
But I do think
I'm his girlfriend... it's bad.
Whitney, you don't like him.
You need to end this before you
take 30 more classes with him
and end up marrying his ass.
I will handle it.
I am going to talk to him today.
Great. You've only tried
to break up with him
two other times before, so
hopefully this one will stick.
♪ Duh, duh-duh, duh, duh,
yeah, yeah ♪
♪ Making me go boy crazy ♪
♪ All of a sudden,
baby, I... ♪
How's everyone doing?
What the hell, Bela?
This article is entirely
about you.
It literally says your name
more than the name
of our magazine.
How did this happen?
- I'm so sorry.
- I have no idea.
I would have assumed he would
have written about all of us.
Maybe the reporter has a crush
on me or something.
Nice try.
He's seeing someone,
which he told me
after he rejected me brutally.
Then I have no idea
how this happened.
This is so strange.
It makes it look like you
created "The Foxy"
all by yourself.
Did he show this to you
before he printed it?
No. If he had, I would have
asked him to Photoshop
my boobs to look bigger.
You know what?
I-I'll reach out
to him right now
and make sure he prints
a retraction.
- It's fine.
- Let's just forget it.
I don't think I can.
In fact, you're uninvited
to my half-birthday party.
For those of you who are coming,
I'm registered at Claire's.
And I would like it
if at least one of you RSVP'd.
You can right now vocally.
- No.
- Uh-uh.
Let's get back to work.
♪ ♪
There she is.
Hi, honey.
Hi, Dad.
Hey, um, can we talk
about the shirt?
Yes. I just wanted
to show the world
- how much I support you.
- That's great.
It just makes it seem like
you're proud to be a gay dad.
- Because I am.
- And I just want...
Oh.
That's why the barista
called me "zaddy."
Yes.
- Oh, sweetheart.
- Hi.
- Oh, you look great.
- Thanks.
And your father told me.
- That I'm a lesbian?
- Yes, I am.
I just wish you felt comfortable
telling me yourself.
You are not exactly
the chillest.
I seem to remember you crying
when I asked to wear sneakers
on vacation.
It was St. Barts.
We could have run
into Lorne Michaels.
Well, I read several articles
about what to say to you.
So I acknowledge
your sexuality, and I love you.
Love you, too.
So are you excited to go
to the Kappa Spring Festival?
Oh, honey, I have been
looking forward
to going to this event with you
since the moment you got in.
And I cannot wait to see
which of my classmates
have aged poorly.
Well, you girls have fun.
I'm off to destroy the only copy
of a very hurtful op-ed
I wrote in 1992.
♪ ♪
What are you doing?
I'm sifting through
a bag of beans.
Lila thinks she dropped
an AirPod in here.
- Hmm.
- What happened to your shirt?
Oh, I tripped and spilled
a gallon of oat milk on myself.
Oh. Ooh.
Oh, will I be seeing you
at the Theta party tonight?
- No.
- I don't think I can make it.
Too bad.
If you change your mind,
text me.
Yeah.
How do I look?
- Dry.
- Right.
See ya.
♪ Okay, okay ♪
♪ Yummy, yummy, yummy,
I can feel your tummy ♪
♪ You can eat it for dessert ♪
- There she is.
- Oh, my God.
Hi.
Ready to watch me
kill this presentation?
- Whoop-whoop.
- Yeah.
Is something up?
Uh...
yes, but don't worry about it.
I don't want to throw you off.
We can just talk after class.
- No, let's talk about it now...
- I'm not gonna be able to focus
on my experiment
if you don't tell me.
- I think we should break up.
- Shit.
Okay, it's not what I thought
you were gonna say.
I'm sorry.
No, it's... it's cool.
We're both super busy.
- So this is, like...
- Yeah.
- It's mutual.
- It's good.
- Are you sure?
- Yeah, I'm fine.
Let's get in there... as friends.
Come on.
So I'll keep titrating
the solution
until some precipitate forms,
which according
to my estimate should...
should, uh...
Sorry.
Lost my focus.
Um...
Dude, are you crying?
No, my eyes are just
really humid right now.
Anyway, so, if you'll focus
on the bottom of the beaker,
you'll see...
Okay, now, yes, I am crying.
I think I need a minute alone
in the hallway.
So, Ash lie...
are you excited to be Kappa
president next year?
Oh, my goodness, yes.
You know, I was president
my senior year.
Mm-hmm.
And I got us a computer
with the Internet on it.
- Oh, wow.
- You did.
Cool story, Mom.
- Buckle up, Ash lie.
- You're in for a lot.
I'm on the alumni board.
And every day it feels
like some new crisis.
- A Kappa crisis?
- Like what?
Did they install unflattering
lighting in the bathrooms?
No.
Did you hear what happened
at the Syracuse chapter?
No.
They banned
the word "sisterhood."
Why would they do that?
Well, they said
it's not accurate
and that some of their members
aren't women.
- What?
- Oh, I don't know.
I actually think
that's a good thing,
you know, to create
more inclusive language
for trans and non binary folks.
Well, I just think if you
don't see yourself as a woman,
- then form your own group.
- Mm.
Let us be sisters.
But how can they form
their own clubs with no support
or funding from the school,
you know?
Just to be clear, my best
friend is a homosexual.
- Ralph?
- Yes.
- Ah, love Ralph.
- Isn't he funny?
- I know!
- Sure. I'm gay, too.
But, um,
that is actually meaningless
in the context
of this conversation, isn't it?
Leight, can I borrow you
for a sec?
Look, I know these boomer alums
aren't the most up to date
on things,
but today
is sort of about getting
donation checks from them.
I promise, it's not
worth engaging.
Right, but if we don't engage
with them,
then who is going to?
Maybe just go talk
to somebody else.
♪ I got this feeling ♪
♪ I've been dreaming
in a sequence... ♪
Oh, Zoe, I don't mean
to rub it in,
but you really missed out on
not going to that econ banquet
- with Canaan.
- Huh?
What econ banquet?
The one where
Canaan got that award.
It was so fun,
and the food was so good.
I loaded up on soup,
and then I realized
it was just the appetizer.
Yeah, I don't know
what you're talking about.
- Really?
- Mm-hmm.
He said he invited you
before he invited me
and you were busy.
That definitely did not happen.
Will you excuse me a moment?
- Lila?
- Hmm?
You want to go to that
Theta party tonight?
Bitch, I've been going to go,
and I'm wearing a dress
that makes my tits sing.
Thanks again
for meeting up with me.
- Of course.
- I'm happy to.
Oh, and thank you for meeting
me during your final exam.
- No other times worked for me.
- You're just so impressive.
I want to learn
as much as I can from you.
So I read your packet.
And I think you should consider
quitting "The Foxy."
Quit?
Jorja, I think you're cool
and smart and funny.
And in that way,
you really remind me of myself.
But not everyone who's cool
and smart and funny
has what it takes to be
a comedy writer.
Okay.
Oh, you know what I think
you'd be great at?
- Advertising.
- What?
I bet you could write
really cute commercials
for, like, cleaning products
or, like, a clever yogurt ad.
I'm not really interested
in that.
Do you seriously not have
any feedback for me
on anything I wrote?
I could tell you all the things
that didn't really work in
here, but I just don't think
that's a good use
of either of our time.
Wow.
- At least you're honest.
- Always. You got this, Jorja.
I mean, not this
but something else.
Oh, did you want me
to throw this away for you?
♪ ♪
- Thank you so much for these.
- They're gonna do a lot of good.
Kappa kisses.
Bye.
- Honey?
- Hmm?
- Are you okay?
- You've been quiet all day.
- Yeah, I don't know.
- Uh...
I, um...
I don't think
I want this anymore.
- Oh, sweetie, here.
- What is going on?
I wanted to be in Kappa
just like you,
but I don't feel like me
when I'm here.
I think you've just changed.
- And that's okay.
- I'm really sorry.
I know how bad
that you wanted this for me.
And I just didn't want
to let you down.
Oh, no, no, stop.
I just want you to be happy.
If you don't want to be
in Kappa, then don't.
Life is too short
to waste on things
that don't bring you happiness.
That's why we don't see
Grandma anymore.
I love you, Mom.
Oh, I love you
so much, Leighton.
- Lovely to see you, Mimi.
- Oh, always a pleasure, Mona.
Kappa kisses.
Oh, what a dumb whore,
am I right?
Oh, my God.
You know, she once asked me
how to spell
the word "biscuit."
Mom, you are such a bitch.
Oh, my God, we would have been
good friends in college.
Oh, for sure,
we would have been.
♪ Can't hear
what you're saying ♪
Last pregame of freshman year.
- Let's go!
- Yeah!
Whoo!
♪ Just lose that attitude ♪
♪ You know, you know you got
to lose that attitude ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
♪ Give me, give me
all that I like ♪
God, I can't believe
this is the last shot
we'll take in this room...
I could cry.
Guys, can I just
say that this is
the hottest we've ever looked?
I mean, Whitney, that dress...
Serving purple and serving tits?
You look like a sexy Barney.
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
Listen, I'm single,
and I'm ready to end this year
with a bang.
- Ow!
- Okay, well, I am just excited
- to have fun with my girls.
- Aw, me too.
Holy shit.
- Hmm?
- Guys, stop!
- What's wrong?
- I'm getting canceled.
- What?
- This girl from "The Foxy"
is blasting my ass
on social media.
- I'm sure it's not that bad.
- Yeah.
"Five things I learned
at Essex's so-called
feminist comedy magazine."
- Maybe it's a nice post.
- She said she learned things.
"Bela Malhotra is
a misogynistic comedy dictator
who hates all women,
including herself"?
Fuck, this is so bad.
Oh, my God,
I'm gonna have to quit comedy
and become a pharmacist
like all my dumb cousins.
There has to be
a misunderstanding.
Yeah, agreed. I mean, you
definitely don't hate yourself.
If anything,
you like yourself too much.
Exactly.
Listen, just talk
to this girl tomorrow
- and smooth it over.
- Yeah.
You don't need to
let it ruin your night.
I'm with Whitney.
I mean, the girl has,
like, 40 followers, okay?
- Nobody will ever see that.
- Yeah, you're right.
All right, um, let's take
one more shot before we go.
- Yes!
- Thank you.
That's what I'm talking about.
Or we could take
a five-minute nap and then go.
- Are you fucking kidding me?
- All right.
♪ Is it desire? ♪
♪ ♪
- Shit!
- This party is going off!
My favorite bitches!
- What's up?
- Yeah!
Welcome
to the Dare or Dare Party.
You are obligated to do the dare
written on the bottom
of your cup.
- Oh!
- What kind of dares?
Oh, I read them all.
On this side of the table,
they're horny.
And here,
they're just plain nasty.
- I took one of both.
- Oh.
"Smash face with a redhead"?
- Ooh, I want that one.
- Okay.
- Thank you.
- Damn it, Jocelyn.
I'm not gonna jiggle
a stranger's tit at this party.
- "Twerk"?
- I can't twerk.
I wasn't allowed to dance
with my bottom half growing up.
We don't actually have
to do these, do we?
Oh, Jocelyn seems
to think we do.
Oh, my God.
That is a lot of tongue.
I brushed my teeth
so good tonight.
I am I, 000% making out
with someone at this party.
Ooh, let's pick out some hotties
and wing-woman each other hard.
- Ooh, okay, okay, sure.
- Let's see my options.
- Mm-hmm.
- Okay.
Oh, we got a guy slurping
a Taco Bell Fire Sauce packet
and a dude who's dancing
tragically off the beat.
Yeah, I don't think any
of these guys are my type.
So what are you looking for?
Um...
I will let you know
when I see it.
♪ ♪
- Hey.
- Hey.
I thought you said
you weren't coming?
- Uh, turns out I am and did.
- What are you doing?
Um, trying to find a cup with
a dare I actually want to do.
This one says "motorboat Lila,"
and it has her phone number.
Yeah, she definitely
wrote that one.
Can you just be a good citizen
and throw it out?
- Wait. What's that one?
- Uh...
"Kiss a stranger."
That one's not a bad one.
Well, we both know each other,
so you're in the clear, sir.
Yeah.
Yo, Canaan!
Oh, my friends just got here,
so I'm... I'ma...
- Yeah, of course. Go.
- Yeah. Okay, all right.
Yeah.
♪ I'm okay ♪
♪ Yeah, I'm happy
I need someone ♪
Ginger, love that you're
wearing a long coat indoors.
Thank you. It belonged
to my elderly neighbor.
But I can't stay long.
I gave blood twice again
this evening,
so I am feeling weak.
Also, I do not like the way
that guy is looking at me.
- Why don't you go sit down?
- Okay.
- I'll go deal with that later.
- You sure she's good?
She's fine.
- So how is Kappa?
- Um, I quit.
Oh, no.
Did you find
an even blonder place to live?
- Wait. Are you being serious?
- I am.
I decided I would rather spend
my time at the Women's Center,
you know, with, um, people
I actually like.
If this is because
you vandalized another statue
and got community service,
I will find out.
Um, also, I have this.
♪ ♪
Holy shit.
$30,000?
My mom was gonna donate it
to Kappa,
so I told her where
it would do better things.
This is going to
completely save us.
♪ ♪
I am so sorry.
I should not have done that.
- No, no, no, no.
- No, you should have.
What about your girl Tatum?
I ended things with her
the night
of your fundraiser, actually.
Because of how hot I looked
in my Elton John costume?
You know, I still have that.
- I could go get that right now.
- Shut up.
♪ I'm happy
I need your love ♪
♪ I'm happy I want your love ♪
♪ Yeah, I'm happy
I need someone ♪
Canaan, are you leaving?
Uh, Yeah, a bunch of us are
headed to a party on Edgewood.
You want to come with?
♪ ♪
No. I'm gonna stay.
- Have fun.
- Okay, bye.
♪ Run away, run away ♪
♪ Ru... ru... run away ♪
♪ Run away, yeah ♪
♪ ♪
- Bela.
- Hey!
Oh, there's a couch here that
they're trying to get rid of.
Should we take it
for the house next year?
They call it the sperm bank,
but we don't have
to call it that.
That post from Jorja
is so messed up.
- I know.
- Huge overreaction, right?
Comedy writers need
to have a thick skin.
Look at all the stuff
that happened to me
in "The Catullan."
Dude, we're not
agreeing with you.
What happened to you
at "The Catullan" was horrible,
and our magazine was created
to be a better alternative
to that toxic shit.
Don't you remember?
I mean, since you were the one
who created our group.
- Wait.
- Is that what this is about?
You guys are just mad
that I'm still getting
too much credit in that article.
We talked to the reporter, Bela.
- He showed you the article.
- You lied to us.
- That article was one thing.
- That was normal, selfish Bela.
But being that brutal to Jorja,
it's not okay.
And what Jorja put online
about you,
I'd say it was
pretty fucking well written.
- You're fired from "The Foxy."
- What?
Clearly, you're the only person
who lives up
to your own comedy standards.
- So go be funny alone.
- No, please don't do this.
It's gonna make living together
super awkward next year.
- We gave your room to Carla.
- Wait. We did?
- Oh.
- We did.
- Fine.
- Wait, guy...
♪ ♪
Fuck.
Hey, Lila, uh, can I ask you
a question?
I'm not currently
taking any questions.
My cup said I had to find
50 people to kiss,
and I've only found 34.
- Okay, 35.
- Happy to help.
- Have you seen Canaan?
- He left a little bit ago.
- Okay.
- Ooh, but if you see him,
let him know that he's gonna
open up Sips tomorrow
because I do plan
on calling out sick to myself.
- Okay.
- Mm-hmm.
Bye, 35.
Mm.
Hi, number 36.
You're cute.
Do you like your women much,
much taller than you?
♪ ♪
♪ Oh, there she goes again ♪
♪ Every morning
it's the same ♪
♪ You walk on by... ♪
- Canaan!
- Hey.
Hey.
Um, can I talk to you for a sec?
Yeah.
Y'all go on.
I'll catch up with you.
- What's up?
- You lied.
- I lied? About what?
- Zoe.
You never invited her
to that event.
She told me.
Why would you lie?
That's a great question...
Because that lie
would make no sense.
- You wanted me to go with you.
- You invited me first.
♪ Can't wait anymore... ♪
Fine. I did.
You trying to embarrass me
or something?
♪ In my dreams,
you're with me ♪
♪ We'll be everything
I want us to be ♪
♪ For the first time ♪
♪ Or is that just me
and my imagination? ♪
♪ We walk, we laugh ♪
♪ We spend our time
walking by the ocean side ♪
♪ Our hands
are gently intertwined ♪
♪ A feeling
I just can't describe ♪
♪ And all this time
we spent alone... ♪
So I have some news.
Alicia and I are back together.
- And I'm not gonna lie.
- Mm.
- I am really happy about it.
- Aw.
- Yay.
- Wait.
So, if you're not moving
into Kappa
and Bela's not living
off-campus anymore,
then we could all live together
next year...
I mean, if you all want.
- You know what?
- I'm down.
- What about you, Bela?
- Um...
Yeah, sorry. I'm just a
little distracted this morning.
Is this still about that girl
from the magazine?
Why don't you just talk
to her, right?
I'm sure she would be open
to hearing you out.
Yeah, totally. I have a
meeting about it at, uh, 10:15.
- Oh, great.
- Great.
Okay, good. I'm glad.
So, Kimberly,
how was your night?
Anything interesting happen?
No, not really.
♪ I left home
in the summer ♪
You can really taste
the peach in this one.
Yeah.
- Hey.
- Hey.
Um, so I heard Leighton turned
down that room for next year.
- Yeah.
- I want it.
- Okay.
- Take a seat.
♪ When I hugged my brother ♪
I was rude and disrespectful,
and I feel awful about it.
I came to Essex
for "The Catullan."
That blew up.
Um...
I, um, got kicked
out of this new group.
No one wants to work with me.
I have a 1.8 GPA.
I broke an amazing guy's heart
by being selfish.
All I want
is for people to like me,
but, um, I just keep
hurting people instead.
So I'd like to transfer.
♪ Do I want? ♪
♪ I awoke in a warm bath ♪
♪ With words still
in my head ♪
♪ ♪
♪ They remain unspoken ♪
♪ ♪
♪ And follow me to death ♪
♪ ♪
♪ What do I want? ♪
♪ Do I want ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Anything? ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Do you ever look back? ♪
♪ ♪
Go to bed.