The Secret Life of the American Teenager (2008–2013): Season 3, Episode 25 - To Be... - full transcript

Previously on The Secret Life
of the American Teenager...

We're getting
married Friday night.

But we should be
back to school

bright and early
Monday morning.

Can't let a little thing
like a wedding

keep us from school.

No, or a baby.

Are you actually asking me
if Mom's seeing someone?

She's seeing Josh. Isn't she?

Oh, Dad, don't do this.

I really want you to go
to my friend's wedding with me.



I don't want to go.

Why? Do you think
I might get ideas?

About marriage?

I need you to go
to the wedding with me.

How many dinners
and fundraisers

and events have you dragged
me to over the years?

As I recall, you always said,
"Maybe I'll meet someone."

And maybe I did.

I never realized how much
I love you

and how much I wanted
to be with you.

What made you realize that? Your dad?
Yeah.

'Cause he likes me better than Grace.
So do I.

You didn't tell me
you got into a college.

You had pictured the three of us
living above the butcher shop



while I worked
and you went to school?

I can adjust that picture.

We are gathered here today
to join

Ben and Adrian
in holy matrimony.

I now pronounce you
man and wife.

You may kiss the bride.

You know, Mr. Boykewich,

what I was thinking
we could do,

after you get home
from the butcher shop

and we go to
Dr. Attavi's office--

we can go by the market
and get some steaks

and then try the grill
on the patio.

What do you think?

Oh, I think it's 4:30,

and it's too early,

and you need your sleep,
Mrs. Boykewich.

I can't sleep.
I'm uncomfortable.

I'm getting more uncomfortable
by the minute.

He said for you
to lie on your left side.

I was, but I'm not comfortable
on my left side.

I'm tired of my left side.

My right side's no good,
and I don't have another side,

so I sat up.

Well, short of
giving birth immediately,

what do you think might help?

Because until
you're comfortable,

I have a feeling
I'm not going to be comfortable,

so I'd be willing
to do just about anything.

You name it.
I don't know.

Maybe when we go see
Dr. Attavi today,

he can suggest something.

Oh, maybe I could call Amy.

Maybe she could
be useful for once.

At 4:30?

You think she's up?

Maybe with John?
She could be up.

I doubt it.
But...

I'm up now,

so what can I do for you?

You hungry?

You must be hungry.
You woke up thinking about steaks.

Which, by the way, I'll bring
home from the butcher shop.

You want some breakfast?

Do we have breakfast food?

We do.
We have eggs

and milk and bread.

I think I can do something
with that that would be edible.

Yeah. Okay. Thanks.

I'd love some breakfast.

As long as it doesn't
make us late for school.

We have a few hours.

Thank you, Husband.
You're welcome, Wife.

♪ The Secret Life of the American Teenager 3x25 ♪
To Be…
Original Air Date on May 30, 2011

== sync, corrected by elderman ==

♪ Falling in love ♪

♪ Is such an easy
thing to do ♪

♪ Birds can do it
We can do it ♪

♪ Let's stop talking,
Let's get to it ♪

♪ Let's fall in love ♪

And you thought this would
be a good idea because?

Because they're trying to do
what they think is right,

and I think that's honorable, and
I think we should all support them.

Mm-hmm. See,
they should've thought

about doing the right thing when
they were doing the wrong thing.

Now, I could support that.

Yeah, but they--
Yeah, me, too.

Really, what are
these girls thinking?

That that's a way to get a guy to
marry them-- by getting pregnant?

It's like we're rewarding them for
doing something stupid, Kaitlyn.

Uh, excuse me.
I'm sorry.

I just need to get
into the band room.

I apologize.
We weren't talking about you.

We were talking about--
Girls in high school

who get pregnant
and get married.

Yeah, that's not me.
I'm not getting married.

For the record, I hardly knew
Ricky when we got pregnant,

and I'm just starting
to get to know him now.

So I really wasn't trying
to do anything

when we got pregnant.

I wasn't trying to get him to be my husband
or my boyfriend or anything like that.

You don't have to explain
anything to me.

No, no.
I want to explain it to you.

And you can explain it
to other people,

because I am tired
of explaining it.

You seem upset. Is--

Is it because of
the banner that I put up?

Does it bother you that Ben
and Adrian are now married,

and you and Ricky
are not married?

Why should it?

As Adrian pointed out long ago,

Ricky will probably
never wanna get married.

What about you?
Do you wanna get married?

I mean,
right now in high school?

Doesn't matter what I want.
I think it matters.

I told you,
Ricky doesn't wanna get married.

You never know.

No. You never know.

But, of course,
if he goes away to school,

then the chances
are probably greater

that he and I won't get married.

At least that's how I see it.

Yeah, the interview
went really well.

Thanks a lot.

We're late!

Hey, we're late for our very first
day at school as a married couple.

I know. I'm sorry,
but you looked so tired,

and, well,
I'm tired, and...

I don't think anyone really
expected us to be on time.

I did.

Yeah, me, too.

I'll call the counselors' office
and tell them we'll be there.

I'm sure it'll be fine.
Do you want something to eat?

Uh, what is that?

It's a loco moco.

It's hamburger, fried egg,
and gravy over rice.

No. I think I'm just gonna
go grab a shower, okay?

And get out of here. Okay. Yeah.
Let me just finish up breakfast,

and then I'll go get in the
shower, and I'll get dressed,

and then I'll do my hair and
makeup, and then we can go.

Um, are we carpooling?

We're going to the same school.

Yeah, but I have to go to the
butcher shop after school.

I know.
But you can drop me off.

Okay. But I think

I may be ready to go to school
before you're ready.

I doubt it. You usually take
longer than I do, Husband.

And besides, it's our first day
as a married couple.

I wanna go together.

Whatever you want.
I'll go get started.

What's going on?
Hey, where's Lauren?

I don't know. But I doubt
she took out her phone

during class
and looked at it.

I can do that because of John,
but it's against the rules,

as is hanging out
in the bathroom during class.

What's the emergency?

I wanted to tell you
something face-to-face,

and this is where I wanted to tell you.
In the bathroom?

Yeah. I mean, we have
so many memories in this place.

Oh, no.

No, she hasn't had time
to get pregnant.

But, oh, no.

What "oh, no"?
Did you have sex?

Why is it "oh, no"
if I had sex?

It wouldn't be "oh, no"
if Amy had sex.

Did you?
I don't wanna know.

I did.

Oh, uh...
When?

Last weekend when Ben and
Adrian were getting married.

Oh. Bad timing.
Well, how was it?

It was pretty interesting.

So interesting that you
waited three days to tell us?

Well, I'm not Amy.
I didn't wait, like,

weeks or months or years
to tell you.

It was weeks,
not months or years.

Tell us. How was it?

Uh, pretty interesting.

You said that.

Is that code for "bad"?
It was bad?

No, it wasn't bad.
It was--

Don't say
"pretty interesting" again.

Very emotional?

Emotional?

Like, emotional in a good way

or emotional in a bad way?

During or after?
Yeah, after.

We were just laying there
all warm and cozy,

in the blankets,
snuggled up next to each other.

And I think I saw Jack
shed a tear or two.

Or more. Um, yeah.

He said it was sweat, but I'm
pretty sure those were tears.

Okay. I have to give it to you,

that is pretty interesting.

Mm-hmm.
Jack cried. Jack.

I told you.
Pretty interesting.

Guys are allowed to cry.

I'm sure he was just overwhelmed
with his feelings for you.

I'm not so sure about that.

What else would he
be crying about?

I don't know.
I tried to find out.

I asked him what he was thinking,
and he just kept saying,

"I love you.
" That's a good thing, isn't it?

It didn't seem like he was
telling me because he loves me.

It seemed like
he was telling me

to avoid telling me
something else.

And I kept asking him
what he was thinking,

and he kept saying,
"I love you."

And I would say,
"I love you, too."

And, you know,
then he wouldn't say anything.

So I'd wait a little bit,
and then I'd ask him.

I'd say, "What are you
thinking now?"

And he would just say
he loves me.

And that's all
he ever really said.

Don't look at me.
You've had sex. I haven't.

I've only done it
one more time than you,

and the same number of times
as Madison.

Yeah. I've got a feeling

neither one of you are really gonna
be able to help me with this.

You're late.

Yeah, you know, my dad was here
to marry Adrian and Ben.

He just left this morning.
I'm sorry, Coach.

I'm sorry, too.

You'll be making up the time
with a few laps after practice.

I didn't have
the best weekend.

And now you're off
to a bad week.

I don't like late.

Athletes are supposed to be role
models for the other students.

Role models aren't late.

My dad gave me
some bad advice.

He told you
to be late for school?

He told me
to break up with Madison.

I don't know
that that's bad advice.

It probably wasn't,
but it kind of backfired.

I was gonna break up with her,
but it went another way.

You know that for every minute you
delay going through that door

and I have to listen to this, that's
another lap around the field?

Yeah, I know, but...

I had sex with Madison.
It was a mistake.

You've made
that mistake before.

In fact, you've made that
mistake a few times.

Yeah, but in the past, that mistake
really didn't mean anything.

I mean, this is Madison.
She thinks sex means,

you know, marriage one day.

And I thought I might marry her
one day, but I changed my mind.

Not at the best time.

To explain it in terms
you would understand,

the first half of the game
I was playing offense,

and the second half
I was playing defense.

I should've called
the game off at halftime.

I just-- I didn't wanna
hurt her feelings.

And now I'm stuck with her
for the rest of my life.

You're not married to her,

and you don't have children with her,
so you don't have to stay with her.

What kind of role model
is that?

Just get to class, Pappas.

Hey. I was hoping
I'd run into you.

Here are your keys.
You're welcome.

Oh, I would've thanked you, but
it didn't turn out that well.

I don't wanna know.
I don't know what I was thinking.

No, I know
what I was thinking.

I was thinking about
breaking up with Madison

and never seeing her again.

And that made me wanna see
her again in the worst way.

I don't wanna know.

I knew it was a mistake
halfway into it.

I just felt bad
about the whole thing.

It felt good,
but I felt bad.

Has that ever
happened to you?

Yeah, that's never happened
to me before, either.

Afterwards, she kept saying,
"What are you thinking?"

And I hate that.
I really hate that.

I didn't know
what I was supposed to say,

so I just kept telling her
I love her.

"What are you thinking?"
"I love you."

"I love you, too.
What are you thinking now?"

"I love you." "I love you, too.
What are you thinking now?"

On and on and on and...

How could I tell her that
what I was thinking

was that we really
shouldn't have done it?

Because maybe I'm not
really in love with her.

At least not enough to spend
the rest of my life with her.

At least I don't know that yet.

Don't ever ask to borrow
the apartment again, all right?

Yeah.

Okay, we really
have to get to class.

I know. I just...

I don't feel like it.
I'm so confused.

I can't pay attention
in class.

I don't wanna have to
break up with Jack

just because sex
isn't what I expected.

I-- I don't know.
He just--

He told me he loves me too many
times, but I feel weird now.

I just-- I don't know if I
wanna be around him anymore.

You can. You can break up
with him if you want.

Don't stay with him
just because you had sex.

You don't have to do that.

You don't even have to stay with
him if you have a baby with him.

Oh.

No offense, Amy.

It just slipped out.

I was talking
about Adrian and Ben.

Yeah. Whatever.
I'm used to it.

Madison, you don't have to
break up with Jack.

Maybe the second time
will be better.

And maybe it won't
for either of you.

I know that, Lauren.

I know that.

But I don't wanna break up with Ricky.
I love him.

And I think that
you might love Jack.

So give him some time.

It's okay to take some time
when making a decision.

Maybe you need
some more time,

but I don't know
if I need more time.

I kind of feel like
part of the problem

is we spent so long
thinking about having sex

that when we finally got around
to it, it was anticlimactic.

And that's what
it was for me,

literally,
if you know what I mean.

Yeah? Well, guess what.

That's not uncommon for girls
having sex for the first time.

You knew this, and you
waited until now to tell me?

Maybe you should
spend more time reading.

What is with you today?
You sound so--

Angry.
Did we do something?

Yeah. You two
have ruined sex for me.

I don't even know if I would have
sex if I were married right now.

Wait.

Where did you two
do it anyways?

Grace's guest house?

'Cause I thought Jack's dad
was staying with him.

Yes, he-- he was.

Um, Ricky let us
use his place.

What? You knew
about that, right?

They're here! They're here.
They're here!

Adrian and Ben just pulled
into the parking lot.

They're here.
Everybody come out!

They're coming.

Okay.
♪

Adrian is gonna love this.

There you go.

Wanna throw some rice?

They missed this
at their actual wedding.

They had a small wedding.
Just family.

Doesn't rice kill birds?

Isn't that why they stopped
throwing rice at weddings?

We're inside.
I think it's okay.

Not if a bird eats it and its
stomach swells up and it explodes.

We're inside.
It's a bird-free environment.

Isn't it supposed to be wrapped
in a little net thing?

I have a life, okay?
All I had time to do was get the rice.

Just try to enjoy this.
It's a-- It's a wedding reception.

Not really.

♪

Here's some rice.

When they get here,
throw it in the hallway.

It is not her fault.

Jack just asked Ricky for the key.
Ricky's the one that gave it to him.

Why should Jack even ask him for
a key or to use his apartment?

I don't ask Ricky to use his
apartment, and I don't have a key.

Well, I'm sure he gave it back,
so maybe you could get that one.

Obviously Ricky doesn't want Amy to
have a key or he'd give her one.

It's his place.
It's not their place.

♪

Don't start.

I expected them
to be talking about me--

me and Madison--
but, uh,

I think they're talking
about you.

Or you and Amy.

I don't know why
I came out here for this.

Yeah, me neither.

I--

I can't believe it.

You two did it
in Ricky's bed?

I'm your best friend.

You've slept in my bed.
I've slept in your bed.

You haven't had sex in my bed.

No, but I'm certainly
not the first girl

to have sex in Ricky's bed.

I mean, Ricky had sex
with Adrian in that bed.

What? Come on.
You knew that.

Hey, you.
Hey.

I feel le we're at
an underage wedding.

Like we're
doing something illegal.

Yeah, it is kind of weird.
A married couple in high school.

It's like last weekend
just won't ever end.

It just goes on
and on and...

What?

Amy's in a bad mood.
I'll tell you why later.

No, you won't.

♪

I'm going to class.

Fine. Me, too.
No. Wait. Don't leave.

They're coming.
Just be patient.

♪

I think this may be
a false alarm.

No, I swear.
They're coming. Here.

Oh, my God,
is everyone here for me?

I mean, us?

♪

Everyone, welcome
Mr. and Mrs. Ben Boykewich

back to school.

Hey, watch it.
Eyes. Watch it.

Thank you.
Thank you, everyone.

This is so nice of you.
I love you.

Wow. Thank you.
Um, you're all invited to our place.

No, no, no. No, they're not.

No, this is all very nice,
but you can't come over.

Hey. Hey! Ow! That hurt.

That's what married people do.
They have people over.

You know, I don't think married
people in high school do that.

Not when they're
having a baby.

Agh!

♪

Knock it off!

Who the hell came up
with this rice idea?

♪

It wasn't me.
I swear.

Okay, everyone.

Show's over.
Back to class.

Just a minute, sir.

That your girlfriend, pal?

Yeah, that's my girlfriend.

Then this is your broom.

Clean it up.

I don't know
why you're so upset.

I'm the one
who should be upset.

If Ricky hadn't
loaned us his bed or--

I mean, his apartment-- then Jack
and I wouldn't have done it,

and we'd still be together.

You know,
not together together,

but we'd still wanna be together
together, if you know what I mean.

Yeah, I know
what you mean.

And it's okay.
You really didn't do anything.

Oh, no, we did.
It's just-- It wasn't--

I know.

Oh, my God.
Look at this.

It's so cute.
That is cute.

Today's almost better
than our real wedding day.

I loved our wedding day.

Me, too.

But I kind of like
all the attention, you know?

Yeah, I know.
I gotta get to class.

Okay.

I love you, Mrs. Boykewich.

And I love you,
Mr. Boykewich.

Oh. I gotta put you
on hold.

Someone is parked
in my parking spot.

Really?
Would I make that up?

So what'd you do
with your car?

I parked behind
whoever parked in my spot.

I wanna know who it is.
I will find out.

Hey, do you have any idea
when Mike is coming back,

so you don't have to, you know,
worry about this stuff?

I would assume when Betty's coming back.
And when is that?

I don't know.
I tried calling her last night.

I can't get her on the phone.
She never charges the damn thing.

Uh-huh.
And what does Mike say?

That she's with her family.
Is that all he says?

Just say what you wanna say.
What do you know that I don't?

No, just that he's been driving
her sisters around a lot.

She has two sisters.
I know that.

He says they've been
fighting over him.

And I would care
about that because?

I just wouldn't be surprised
if he doesn't come back.

What?
Yeah. I mean, you know Mike.

He doesn't get out a lot
except with you.

I think he's kind of
enjoying himself.

Well, he better not be
enjoying himself too much.

He better be
looking after Betty.

Well, Mike told me
that Betty's mom

has, um, brightened.

What the hell does that mean?
I don't speak Idahoan. I don't know.

Never mind what it means.

I wanna know when
my wife is coming home.

Nobody's dying.
Her mom's not dying.

She was dying last Friday night, and
Betty couldn't come to the wedding.

But now she's not dying.
I don't know.

I mean, maybe her mom brightened
but is still in jeopardy.

Who we keeping on hold?
Oh. Um, that is no one.

I will take care of him.
Him who?

George.
George--

George Juergens?
Mm-hmm.

George, sorry we kept you
on hold so long.

What's going on?
Everything okay?

I'm sorry.
I have the wrong number.

What the heck was that?

Uh, that was
a personal call.

What? He wasn't calling you.
He was calling me.

Why would he be calling you?
Maybe I finally met someone at a wedding.

I met George when we
were leaving the wedding.

I was outside
waiting for you,

and he was walking his dog,

and he's nice,
and he's cute.

You can't go out with him.

He's-- He's-- He's not someone
you should be out with.

And why is that?
Because--

Because he knows me.

You can't go out
with people who know me.

That-- That's--
That's company policy.

No, it's not.
Well, it is now.

And I wanna speak to my wife.

Try and find my wife,
will you,

instead of making
personal phone calls?

I mean, what is wrong
with people?

Hello?

Hi. Sorry about that.
I should've given you my home number.

Don't you have a cell number?
Give me your cell number.

No, it's too early for that.

Okay, um, maybe I can get it
tonight at dinner.

Wanna go to dinner?
We can swap numbers over a nice big steak?

Well, I don't really know
what time I'll get outta here.

I can wait.
Call me when you're leaving.

Okay. Talk to you later.

Who was that? That was an
age-appropriate straight woman

that I'm very attracted to
and have a date with tonight.

Oh, good. Good for you.
And you don't have to keep it a secret.

You can tell your mother.

No, I don't wanna get in
the middle of anything.

Go ahead. Get in the middle.
No, thanks.

Come on.
No.

I need to talk to someone
about a medical problem.

Like a friend?
We're not friends.

I don't have a friend.
I was thinking someone more like a doctor.

I'm hardly a doctor.
I just went to med camp.

That's the extent
of my medical training.

It's not that complicated
a question.

Camp training may do it.

Maybe if it
were about a friend.

I don't wanna know anything
too personal about you.

I don't mind knowing
about your friends.

Okay. Yeah.
It was a friend.

A friend of mine
was having sex with Madison...

Darn. No, not Madison.

Uh, another friend.
Yeah.

A friend of mine was having
sex with another friend,

and he knew it was wrong,
but he didn't realize it

until the middle of everything,
and then he tried stopping,

but then his body
just took over his brain,

and then it was too late,

and lives are now ruined.

Your question is?

Is there any medical reason
that my friend could use

to explain to Madison--
I mean, the other friend?

Explain what?
Why he couldn't just,

you know, stop
when the game was in motion?

A medical reason?
Yeah.

No, I don't think so.

Maybe you should talk to someone
who went to shrink camp.

Why is that? Physically, I
think you could stop anytime.

If she had said "stop," you
would've stopped, right? Of course.

If she would've told me to stop,
that would've been fine.

If I stopped and--
that would've just been rude,

and it would've
hurt her feelings.

It was her first time.
It could've caused her to be

a psychological mess when it
comes to sex in the future.

Not unlike yourself.
Yeah.

Look, Jack, this is way too personal
for you to be talking to me about.

Talk to Madison.
You need to talk to Madison.

I'm not your friend.
I'm your ex-girlfriend's boyfriend.

This is not healthy
for either of us.

And, frankly,
you're an idiot

to be telling other people
about this stuff.

I can't help it.
I don't know what to do.

I was hoping someone
would just tell me what to do.

Just telling me to talk to Madison--
that's-- that's something.

That's some advice
I can take at least.

Okay, well, do that.

You know,
we could be friends.

I'm not interested
in Grace anymore.

Well, you're not interested
in Madison anymore either,

so you could come back
around to Grace.

You seem to change
your mind a lot.

'Cause I'm confused
about Madison.

I'm gonna go grab a broom
and help you finish up here,

and we can maybe talk some more until I
get clear in my head what I should do?

Maybe you should just go do some thinking
on your own, and I can take care of this.

I insist, all right?
I'll be right back.

Hi.

You let Madison and Jack
have sex in your bed?

I just let him borrow
the apartment

because he wanted some privacy.

I don't know anything
about any of the other stuff.

What? She's your best friend.

I figured you knew her boyfriend
asked to borrow my apartment.

Well, I didn't.
Well, it is my apartment.

Yeah, it is your apartment
and it is your bed.

And if you want me in your apartment
and you want me in your bed,

then you need
to get a new bed.

Because Jack and
Madison were in my bed?

And Adrian.
Oh. Yeah.

Okay. Adrian. Of course.
Everything goes back to Adrian.

I'm not going to have sex
in your bed

that you slept in with Adrian
and other girls.

I'm not. I'm just not.
Fine.

What about the couch?
Are you gonna sit on the couch?

I sat on the couch
with other girls.

Should I get a new couch?
What about the chairs?

Should I get new chairs, too?

I don't know, kid.
Sounds like she really wants you.

She really wants you bad.

No, doesn't sound
like that at all.

She's got excuse
after excuse after excuse.

And I'm tired of it.
I'm tired of her.

She's a big baby.

Who's the big baby?

It's like you're stomping your
feet and insisting you get some.

It makes you less attractive,
as a man.

I'm not doing that.

You kind of are.

I mean, so, I hate
to take sides with Amy,

but she kind of has a point
about that bed.

You've been in that bed
with 100 girls,

plus your best friend,
plus Adrian.

It makes it kind of icky, you know?

You got the dough to buy a new bed.
Just buy a new bed.

What, just so I can
have sex with her

when she has no interest
in having sex with me?

Maybe it's not the bed.

Maybe that's not the reason
she's not sleeping with you.

Maybe she's saying it's the bed,
but it's really something else.

What else would it be?
I don't know.

All I know is
that girl loves you.

She really,
really loves you.

Well, maybe she
just doesn't want

her special night with you

to be in that nasty old bed
up there.

It's not even my bed.
It's the Boykewiches' bed.

People probably died in it.

All the reason
to buy a new bed.

I don't know
what happened to me.

It used to be
that I could just have sex

and not even think about it.

Now it's like conquering
the world.

It takes planning and resources
and strategies and begging.

You know, I'm practically
begging her at this point.

Yeah, stop with that, okay?

Just, like,
take a step back.

Let her come to you.

It's gonna be so much better
if she comes to you.

Yeah.

I think she might've
mentioned something like that.

Is that what happened
with you and Ollie?

You let her come to you?

Um,

that's a no.

Uh, yeah, it was kind of,

uh, the other way around
with us.

Uh, she, um,

let me come to her.

Oh.

I didn't know--
yeah-- how that works

in your relationship with her.

Yeah, that's kind of how...

Maybe it was getting
into college.

Maybe that's it, you know?

That-- That's why Amy's
not doing anything.

Because she can't say she doesn't
want you to go to college.

I mean, she wants you
to go to college,

but you two
haven't done anything yet,

and you're already
leaving her.

I'm not leaving her.
I'm not leaving anyone.

I'm gonna try to get into
some other schools,

and if I don't,
she can come with me.

You, too.
And Ollie?

Whoever wants to come.
I don't care.

I just wanna be with Amy
and John.

That's it. That is it.
That'll do it.

What's for dinner?

Ugh! I'm starving.

I'm not.

Mmm. I smell something good.
That's me.

Well, something's obviously
cooking in the oven,

but you do smell good.

And you look like
we're going out to dinner.

Are we going out to dinner?
I don't wanna go out to dinner, Dad.

I'm tired,
I have a lot of homework,

and I got in a fight
with Ricky today.

Oh, no. Another big fight
with Ricky?

I hope that doesn't delay
moving in again.

I made your mom's lasagna.
It's got about another five minutes.

Now that you're home, you can
take it out of the oven for me.

Or I could use
that extra five minutes

to grab a shower, and you
could take it out of the oven

just like you would've done if I
hadn't just come in the door.

Wait. Are you going out
without us?

I am.
I am going out without you.

I am going out on a date.
With?

No. No, not that woman you trapped
when you were walking the dog.

Not Leo's assistant.
You cannot go out with her.

Yes, I can.
No, you can't.

Dad, if you go out with
her, you're gonna tell

her what I'm doing and
what I'm thinking,

and then she's gonna tell Leo,
and Leo's gonna tell Ben,

and Ben is gonna tell Adrian,
and I will have

no privacy whatsoever,
and neither will Leo.

No one has had any privacy since
the information highway opened.

The what?
The Internet.

Please don't call it
the information highway.

It makes you sound so--
Old?

I may be getting old, but I'm
feeling young tonight. See you.

Good night, John.

Good night.
I hope you have a great time.

No, you don't. Bye.

No, I don't.

Did I just
hear Dad leave?

Yeah. Did you know
that he had a date?

Oh, does he?

Oh. You knew.

Who are you texting
that Dad's out of the house?

Toby?

Mom.

What?

So where did he meet her?

She went with Leo to Ben and
Adrian's wedding last weekend.

George bumped into her
on the sidewalk

and then struck up a conversation
while he was out walking Moose.

Actually, he was walking Moose
up and down the sidewalk,

hoping that she'd come
out of the house.

Wow. Got all the details.

Yep. She's a tall, skinny,
good-looking blonde.

He likes blondes.
His first wife was blonde.

Do you really wanna know
all this?

It's their first date.
It could be their last.

She's never been married before.
What's that mean?

It means there's a pretty good
chance there'll be a second date.

So, what, you thought George
wouldn't be dating?

Are you kidding?
He dated when we were married.

Are-- Are we...dating?

Yeah, I guess we are.

Are we dating just each other,
or are we dating other people?

Am I dating other people?
Is that what you're asking?

That's what I'm asking.
Because?

Because I wasn't ready
for you in high school,

but I'm ready for you now.

And if you're ready to take this
relationship seriously, so am I.

I don't know if I'm ready to take
this relationship seriously.

It's one of the things
I enjoy about being with you

is that you're not serious.

No, I am.
This is me being serious.

Look, I haven't dated anybody
more than once or twice

since I split from my ex.

And I think at this age,

we both know right now

if we could be with each other
for the rest of our lives.

Who knew a trip
to the doctor's office

would turn into
a shopping trip?

Thank you.

Yeah, it was fun.
And, hey,

we needed everything
on that list for the hospital.

We wanna be ready.

Oh, I'm ready.

Yeah, well, you have
at least four more weeks.

I don't know if I
could wait four more weeks.

All of a sudden,
I just feel huge.

Yeah, well,
you're beautiful huge.

Mmm, thank you, Husband.

You're welcome, Wife.

It's weird, isn't it--

being married
and living in a condo

and having a baby
in high school?

Way weird.

It's actually
kind of scary.

Yeah. A little.

But thank you for dinner.
That dinner was unbelievable.

Maybe you'll
sleep better tonight.

You didn't eat much yesterday.
I think that's why you woke up so early.

Yeah. Maybe.

I do feel like I can go to bed
and sleep for a while.

It's 8:00.

Yeah, but all of a sudden,
I'm feeling really tired.

Can we put the stuff
away tomorrow?

Yeah. I'll put it
in the nursery for now.

Okay.
I just wanna lay down.

I don't think you should
be friends with Jack.

You're friends with Madison.
Yeah, well--

And you might as well
be friends with Jack.

He lives here, so--
So?

I don't wanna be friends
with my old boyfriend.

You're not friends
with your old girlfriend.

You're not, right?

Not close friends.

I still hear from her once in a while.
What?

Yeah, I get a text once in a while.
No big deal.

What are you talking about?
I don't know.

Do you talk to her?
What do you mean?

I mean, does she call you?
Do you take her calls?

Do you call her? Does she take your calls?
You know what I mean.

Grace, I was her first.
She was my first.

We have that bond.

We're friends. I wouldn't wanna
not be friends with her.

Well, I would want you to not be
friends with her. She likes you.

Where does she get off
liking me?

She doesn't even know me.
I don't like her.

I didn't think I'd like Jack,
but he's okay.

I just never
talked to him before.

You should meet Angie.
I don't want to.

Okay.

Are you trying to
break up with me? No.

Well, are you trying to get me to
break up with you? No. I love you.

Okay, well, it just seems like
someone's breaking up with someone.

Yeah, but not either of us,
I hope.

Well, this feels
very grown-up.

You know?
And very civil.

Yeah, it does.

So you said you wanted
to talk to me.

Yeah, I wanna talk to you.

I just don't
really know what to say.

Yeah, I don't really know
what to say either.

Are you breaking up with me?
Over sex?

Okay, I'm just gonna
come out and say it.

It really wasn't
what I was expecting.

I didn't feel like, you know,
you were really into it.

You wouldn't
talk to me afterwards.

I don't care how many times
you told me that you love me.

I really didn't feel like you love me.
I'm sorry.

I'm really sorry.
For what?

For having sex with you.

I was gonna break up with you,
but then I changed my mind.

You were gonna break up with me
right after having sex with me?

No. No, no, no.
Before. Before.

I was gonna go out with you, Oh.

and then talk to you and tell you that I
didn't wanna go out with you anymore,

but that only made me think
I wanted you even more,

so I wanted to have sex.

But then, in the middle, I wanted to
stop having sex because it felt wrong.

Not that having sex
is wrong or anything.

I just felt it was wrong
for me at that time.

And I hate saying that.

And I don't wanna hurt your feelings
or anything or make you cry.

Oh, well, I'm not crying.

I'm not crying now, and I
wasn't crying after we did it.

Okay, well,
I shed a tear or two.

Why?
Because I love you.

I really love you, but sex isn't
right for the two of us right now.

No, it's not.

I'm so sorry.

I feel like I ruined
our relationship.

Me, too.

Okay, I-- I don't
wanna do anything.

My-- My parent's are gone.

But they just went to dinner.
They're gonna be back in a minute.

And I-- I don't
wanna do it again.

I wasn't thinking that.

Well, are you thinking
you wanna break up or--

No. I was thinking
I think it's kind of funny

that you don't know that I don't like to
be asked what I'm thinking all the time.

Well, I wouldn't ask you
if you'd tell me.

Okay. I'll tell you
what I'm thinking.

I'm gonna tell you
what I'm thinking,

but I don't know if you're
gonna like it or not.

I don't have to like it. Just tell me what
you're thinking for once. Jeez, Jack.

I think that just because
we had sex once

doesn't mean we have to have
sex ever again.

Maybe not ever.
Maybe in a few years.

But why can't we just see
what dating is like

without having any kind
of sex at all?

You know, we could maybe
make out once in a while, and--

And we wouldn't do anything else?
Anything?

Would that be so bad?

Well, I would still
be your girlfriend.

We just wouldn't have sex.

Yeah.

Okay. I accept.

I love you.

Yeah. You know what?

Maybe you do.

Maybe I love you, too.

Hi. Kathleen.
I'm picking up an order to go.

I'm so sorry.
We're running a few minutes behind.

Have a drink on the house, and I'll bring
your order out as soon as it's ready.

Oh, okay. Oh, I'm driving,
so water's fine.

Thanks.

Hi.

Hi.

Um, you having dinner alone?

Yeah, my date's been delayed.

Indefinitely.

I've been running around
all day,

and I just, uh,
haven't had a chance to eat.

The kids have already eaten, and I
just felt like having something good.

When's your husband
getting back in town?

Oh, he's supposed to be back,
um, next week.

"Supposed to"?
Supposed to.

He, uh-- He really loves
it there in-- in Zimbabwe.

He's not gonna
stay over there, is he?

Well, I don't know.
I mean, he hasn't said

he wants to stay
over there, but...

I don't know, George.

He seems really happy
every time I talk to him.

But th again,
he's just a happy guy.

You know, he has that temperament.
He's always happy.

And you? Are you happy?

Truthfully?

Truthfully, are you happy
you got married again?

No.

Now I want you to be
equally truthful with me.

Are you happy that you
and Anne split up?

Yes.

What do you know?

We finally had the courage to be
completely honest with each other.

Yeah.

But I could've done
without the socks story.

Ah, you scared me!

What are you doing here?

I wanted to talk to you.

I can't talk to you like this.
I look ridiculous.

I just wanna tell you

that if you're thinking
that if I'd leave you

to go to college or something,
you're wrong.

Am I?

Isn't that what
you're doing?

You're applying to colleges
that are far enough away

so that you'd have to live
somewhere else?

Away from us?

Not that I'm not happy
that you're going to college.

I'm happy that you're going to college.
I think that's great.

I'm not going anywhere, Amy.

I don't wanna get married,
but I'm not going anywhere.

I would not go away

unless you came with me.

You and John.
Do you mean that?

Are you asking
if I mean that,

or if I'm just saying that
so you'll have sex with me?

Yeah.

I can't wait to have sex
with you when you're ready.

Hopefully,
someday you'll be ready.

You think maybe Ashley and your dad
can watch John tomorrow night,

and the two of us
can drive up the coast

and have dinner somewhere
on the beach?

Um, it's a school night.

No. Wednesday is
a teacher work day.

We're off from school.

I was thinking
that after dinner,

maybe we could drive
up to the school I got into,

and we could maybe
even spend the night

at a decent hotel
and just sleep together

or stay up all night talking.

Or,

um,

maybe we could--

we could do
what we've been waiting to do.

Maybe.

Or maybe not.
I'll leave it up to you.

Let's just go
to some neutral territory

where we can be
with each other

without feeling like
we're surrounded by the past.

Seriously, I just wanna spend
some time alone with you.

Okay.

By the way,
I'm getting a new bed.

Are you awake?

Yeah, I can't sleep.

Are you hungry?
No.

You're not hungry?

No, not at all.

Is something wrong?

I don't know.

Something just--
just doesn't feel right.

You were just
at the doctor's office

12 hours ago,
and everything was fine.

I know.

Do you want me
to call Dr. Attavi?

He went out of town
for the week.

I can still call his office.
They'll find him.

No. You know what?
I'm sure I'm okay.

You don't--

You don't think
you're going into labor

or anything, do you?

Hey, do you? I don't know.
I'm not sure.

It just...

Something just
doesn't feel right.

You know what?
It's probably nothing.

Go back to sleep.
I'm sure I'm okay.

Are you sure?

No.

You know what?
I'm not sure.

== sync, corrected by elderman ==